[FONT=Calibri]Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Reality Crew speaking.
As foretoled by the Mayan calendar, the Universe is one year away from its final destination, where this reality will terminate.
Please prepare to vacate the Universe. Please return all matter to its pre-atomic state, and place any left-over dark matter into the nearest available black hole, several of which have been placed throughout your local clusters for your convenience. If you require any part of your checkout procedure to be recorded as string theory equations, please collect and retain any dimensions you desire beyond the Third.
Any remaining Time can be reclaimed as Space if you submit the appropriate Time Return forms. If you have not yet been issued a Time Return form, do not worry. The problem is merely an illusion caused by your limited dimensionality. Relax, and a certified time collection agent will have been visiting you.
On behalf of our parent company, The Gods, and our Earth ground crew, the Mayans, we hope you enjoyed your stay in this reality, and ask that that you choose to participate in an inexplicable and random expression of spontaneously-generated space-time in what, for want of a better term, we shall call The Future.
Thank you.[/FONT]