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Yeah, it's kinda getting that way. Activity really stalled around 2010, I think, and has been slowly trickling off since then. It did used to be much more active, though. And, once upon a time, I was this section's moderator. =P But that's neither here nor there.   Sort of. You're right that I'm referring to verb tense, but it's not the individual verbs, it's your choice of which tense you're using at the time. Here, let me show you a few examples.   He opened the door and stepped outside. Courtney greeted him with a hug. Michael shuts the door behind him and locks it.... // "Smell this one." She says. Michael looks at her and then takes a whiff.... It was absolute bliss. // Michael took a look at her and liked what she had to wear. ... "You look pretty in it." Michael says, a bit embarrassed. "Well I'm glad you like it," Courtney says, "A lot of the other boys don't like what I wear." "What's wrong with how you dress?" Michael asked. "I honestly don't know. My mom says it's because they like me." She replies. Here, I've highlighted both the past tense and the present tense verbs you're using. As you can see, you're switching back and forth between them quite rapidly, and with little logical sense or apparent motive, which leads me to believe that you don't realise you're switching tenses at all. This problem is fairly common to newer writers, or writers with little proofing/editing experience, but the fix is fairly straightforwardâ??and, unfortunately, kind of blatantly obvious. 1. Read what you write while you're writing it. 2. Wait a few days, then reread what you've written. Look specifically for errors. 3. Pick a tense. Stick with it. If you don't know or aren't sure of the different situations for using different tenses, stick to past tense. Once you get better at spotting your tense-switching, you'll start to develop a sense for when past is appropriate, when present might be better, and when [and how] to use future tense. So you're looking at a Young Adult audience. That's what I thought you meant, but I had to check. Here's the deal. I asked the question because although you said "juvenile fiction" and that phrase is commonly interchangeable with Young Adult fiction or Teen Fiction, your writing reads like a third grade primer. It's very blocky, moving directly from key action to key action. The most difficult syntax you use is a compound sentence. I think at a couple of points you made an attempt at more complex syntax, but since you weren't sure how to handle it you fell back on what you did know, and ended up (unfortunately) flubbing it. Your narrative thus reads very simply, with little to no appreciable detail or internal character thoughts/observations. It's almost devoid of any sort of artistry at all. Additionally, what detail you do include is token, somewhat stilted, and often contradictory. For instance, at the beginning of the excerpt you mention that the couple is outside in a park, taking in the flower-scented air and listening to the birds sing, but later you say that the sun was setting and it was getting dark at around 4pm. Now, I live in upper Washington state, so I'm fairly closer to the pole than the equator, but the only time it gets dark that early around here is in the winter. What you're describing is clearly not winter. What this means for you is that you need a lot more practice. You need to take your story ideas and thresh them out through notes prior to setting them in prose. You need to decide on setting and character and plot details, and then you need to stick to those details. You need to write sketches, and then you need to follow the points I listed aboveâ??specifically points 1 and 2. You also need to read a lot. Read that sentence again. It says a lot. It also means many, many, many different authors. If you want to write, you need to read. You need to look at other authors' styles and how they handle the language. You need to look at what they're doing with their characters and how they're advancing their plot. And you need to do this to the point where you can start reading a book and immediately identify if an author is good, bad, average, awful, or spectacular. And then you need to write again, and reread yourself again, and critique yourself again. You have to become your own hardest critic. Look for things you did well, and look for things you did horribly. Then find ways to make the things you did well even better, and find ways to fix the stuff you messed up. Sure, some people may be talented and can do stuff like this with what seems like relative ease compared to you. But talent does not equal skill. Skill is equal parts hard work, patience, and desire. Talent is icing on the cake. If you want to write, then write. If you want to write better, work a little more. If you want to write well, work your ass off. By no means do I mean you are horrible and you should never write again. That's a preposterous idea. Simply being unskilled is never a reason to give up. What I am saying is that you are currently a fairly young writer in terms of experience, and your writing shows it. You have a lot of room to improve, and I believe if you really want it, you can rise through that room and develop into a fantastic writer. You're just not there now. I'm not going to comment on your content. I believe that any story idea can make an excellent book. The success or failure of a story depends entirely on the presentation, expression, and craftsmanship of the author, not what they choose to write about. Remember that, because many people will tell you exactly the opposite. I wish you the best of fortune, and I urge you never to lose the passion for storytelling. Also, the word you're looking for is 'novella'. ;) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - What are you even saiyan? Retcon pun.