Brasil

?Welcome To The Cold War, Welcome? New warnings New threats Same message Time for the fallout shelters Time for all hell to break loose Welcome to the Cold War, Welcome to the Cold War, We hope you enjoy your stay, We didn't think it'd happen twice, We really didn't plan for it But it's here, and we're here And we're the ones dealing with it It's a Cold War, Cold War Cold War How did they feel back then, When they had a specter over them They were told, Welcome to the Cold War Welcome to the Cold War. Fallout shelters and the rest Should we duck and cover? What's going on around us? It's a Cold War, Cold War Cold War Will the shots be fired? We're not quite sure But we're hoping that they won't be, Because it's a different Cold War Will it ever end? We're not quite sure But welcome to the Cold War, Come inside, come inside

?Castration? ~A Modest Proposal for Curbing Population Growth~ Castration is never a fun or pleasant experience. However, it is something necessary to curb population growth. Of course, population growth is a minor concern when we have things such as nuclear weapons and lethal diseases such as anthrax and the Ebola virus. Still, castration is necessary. But how far is too far? How much is too much? Have we castrated too many? No. There are some individuals in this country who would strongly disagree with me on the issue of castration. They say that mutilation of a man?s genitalia is wrong. They say that it is cruel and unusual punishment. Well, my retort to them would be they are impotent. Their penal tissue is of weak organ. My advice to them is be silent or be castrated. And castration is not unheard of. It is not an abstract concept. Dogs are neutered, that is to say, their testes are removed, as is what a castration involves. Why do those who oppose my opinion not raise their voices up against castration of dogs? Now I am not comparing dogs to humans. I would never compare dogs to humans, for I regard the dog too highly, and have much respect for the dog. Now, castration is the solution to the surplus population. I propose castration of all males when they reach puberty. If this is not feasible, then my next proposition is castration at birth. That may seem cruel and unusual, however, and those opposed to cruel and unusual punishment would no doubt take up arms against my brilliant idea. I assure you, I am supported by many individuals and by many groups who wish to curb this radical growth in the population. Many have voiced their support. I am backed completely by Donald Jefferson, Head Chairperson of the N.O.G (National Organization of Gelders), and I have the complete support of many others, including William Jefferson Clinton, Michael Tyson, and Michael Jackson. Mr. Clinton has expressed much interest in my proposition. Although I suspect his motives are questionable. My idea is not as new nor as abstract as one may think. Former Attorney General Carla Stovall, in 1998, urged the Senate to approve legislation that would allow the use of "chemical castration" in an effort to prevent sex offenders from repeating their crimes. I ask you, why limit this to sex offenders? Why should we only prevent a small percentage of the population from having children? I have been in contact with Ms. Stovall these past years, and I am able to say that I have her complete and unwavering support in my quest for national castration. Our population is growing exponentially. We must find a way to curb this rapid population surge that has taken our country and world by storm. My proposition is a radical one, but a necessary next step in population control. Without my method, our country is sure to fall from economic strain due to our citizens breeding like jackrabbits in heat. So, I beg of you, be castrated. And if you cannot be castrated, then please, castrate someone in your family, for the good of the world rests in the balance.

?Wonderful Lego Land? In the Lego Land Of Wonders, All was well. All was peaceful. In the Lego Land Of Wonders, Beauty was all around. There was beauty in the Dark Lego Woods, Scary as they were. There was beauty in the Royal Lego Plains. In the Lego Land Of Wonders, All was well. All was peaceful. There were glorious Lego Sunsets, Full of fiery Lego Reds And golden Lego Yellows. During the daytime and afternoon, The Lego Skies would be set ablaze with a glorious Lego Rainbow, And the Lego Rainbow would be set against a cloudless blue Lego Sky. In the Lego Land Of Wonders, There lived the Good Lego King Harry in his Royal Lego Castle. Hail, Good Lego King Harry! Long live, Good Lego King Harry! Good Lego King Harry watched over his loyal Lego Subjects with affection In the most grand Lego Style, And his loyal Lego Subjects were quite happy with their Good Lego King Harry. They lived out their Lego Lives In their Lego Houses with their Lego Cats who chased the Lego Mouses. They tended their Lego Gardens, And watered the Lego Plants, And plucked those vile, Lego Weeds. The Lego Gardens were bountiful, Producing delicious Lego Vegetables And sweet Lego Fruits. Good Lego King Harry was a good king, He made sure everyone of his loyal Lego Subjects had plenty to eat, everywhere. His royal Lego Parties were most excellent and all made merry. Some made merry too much, and found themselves Bowing down to the Porcelain Lego God, Vomiting up the fine Lego Wines Into their fine Lego Toilets. Indeed, those loyal Lego Subjects made merry, But not all was well, despite what some Lego Scribes may say. There was one who was spiteful of these joyous Lego Festivities. He was an evil wizard named Lorenzo The Hideous. He did not enjoy hearing this revelry, did not indeed. In fact, he hated Good Lego King Harry, And hated his loyal Lego Subjects. ?I must find a way to destroy them, methinks,? Lorenzo The Hideous plotted, ?I?ll curse their children, grind their grannies up to make my bread. Why, I?ll even steal their fine Lego Wines and get drunk out of my head. Yes, that will show those silly folk that it is quite Foolish and unwise to laugh and to joke.? Lorenzo The Hideous then plotted and thought, He laughed some more and cursed a lot. His cat, Mordolva, hid from her master, For being near to him now surely spelt disaster. Mordolva was a fine looking cat, with a sly grin to boot. Like her master, she also hated the Who?s. I must correct the narration, they were not Who?s. They were simple and nice Lego Folk, who enjoyed Fine wine and a fun little joke. But Mordolva was not as evil as her master, And thus hid from him, as he got plastered. For when he was drunk, he got quite mad, Obnoxious and rude, much like a dad. He ranted and raved, then fell asleep on the couch, To awaken the next day with a horrible ouch. Before Lorenzo passed out, he came up with a plan, Which he mumbled and scribbled on a parchment, Before falling into bed. The parchment did read, I?LL DESTROY THOSE LEGO PEOPLES, I WILL, YOU?LL SEE. WITH AN EYE OF NEWT, SOME SPIDER LEGS, A CAN OF BEANS, AND A LITTLE PUPPY DOG TAIL, I WILL CONCOCT A POTION TO WIPE THEM OUT. I WILL?I?LL?SHOW?THEM?I?will? He awoke the next morning as the Lego Lark sang, ?Away with ye,? he grumbled and turned the Lark into a shoe. It tried to sing but could only sound ?pooh.? Lorenzo rose, quite bare bottomed, indeed, A sight for sore eyes though most would not look. He dressed in a dastardly wicked robe, Covered in black and nightshade cloth. He cackled as he stroked his long, black beard and said, ?Ah, a bright new day and with the sun?s rise, Darkness shall fall. Today is the day I curse those Legos.? A little bird silently listened outside his window, Shocked at what she was hearing. She flew off the scraggly mountaintop, That was so covered in dead trees and withered bush, Headed to the kingdom of Good Lego King Harry To warn him of the new danger. She reached the king?s Royal Lego Castle in a matter of seconds, and was pleased to see that Good Lego King Harry was not hung over like the evil wizard Lorenzo. She flew into his chamber window and onto his bedpost, Where she averted her eyes as his Lovely Lego Lady dressed. ?Hello, little one, how do you find yourself?? the Lovely Lego Lady asked in a voice that was like honey. ?Oh, Lovely Lego Lady, an evil wizard, Lorenzo The Hideous, is plotting a heinous scheme,? the bird whistled, ?he wishes to destroy Good Lego King Harry and usurp his lands with black magic. I have come to warn the good king.? ?Fear not, little one, for Harry knows well what to do, and will summon his closest knights and most powerful allies in all the land to aid him in defending his Royal Lego Castle against an evil and corrupt sorcerer.? The Lovely Lego Lady assured the little bird. ?Love,? Good Lego King Harry said as he entered the chamber And slid up alongside his lady, ?What say you of our daily plans today? Shall we ride through the Golden Forests Of Ewing, Or lay in bed content with each other, Nibbling and tasting on delicacies?? And to this, the Lovely Lego Lady did respond in kind, ?Oh, my Lord, I wish to spend the entire day with you, Laying in our bed and enjoying loving company. But now, speak not of these strange bedside manners In the presence of others.? At this point, Good Lego King Harry noticed the little bird And addressed as such, ?Oh, and what have we here? Come, little bird, what be your business with my lady?? The Lovely Lego Lady, unsure of feeling behind the words, Made the honest nature of the little bird known and said, ?Oh, Lord, this little bird wishes to warn you of a Threat of evil and great danger against your honor. Speak, little one, do not afear.? Good Lego King Harry then bid the little bird speak. The little bird did whistle and tell Good Lego King Harry about Lorenzo The Hideous and his foul plot to destroy him. Though Good Lego King Harry was taken aback by such a message, He knew what to do, for he was king, and kings have knowledge about such things. Good Lego King Harry then thanked the little bird dearly And bid him rest for a few hours. The little bird cheerfully whistled acceptance Of Good Lego King Harry?s generous hospitality And Good Lego King Harry thus called upon his servants To provide a comfortable arrangement and Feed and drink for the little bird. The king then called for a grand Lego Party, In which many would get plastered, Sans his most trusted knights and advisors, For they were to meet for a meeting of the strategical kind. So, they partied like it was 1499, And drank Lego Wines, and played Lego Games, Including baccarat and pool. They also played games of a more friendly nature, Games like Lego Strip Poker and Lego Love Spin. Bed chambers were entered with many of folk, All eager to join in and start having fun. But the point of this tale is not to Become lewd and of a frank nature, The story to tell is of heroism and deed. So we shall flash to the meeting Of Good Lego King Harry and his allies. ?We must act now,? said the good king, ?My Lego Kingdom is in danger, Which means you are under threat, As I am your king and you under my debt. Speak now and pledge Your undying and unwavering allegiance to I.? His Lego Knight Sir William Of Headley then spoke. He said, ?Good Lego King Harry, I pledge my support. I shall fight for you against the evil that plagues And should I die, I shall die honorably in your battle.? This rallied a cry from other warriors in present. ?Hear, hear! We will fight!? ?To our King, we salute!? ?To protect and to serve our lord!? And with that, The meeting adjourned, and those followers exeunt, All but one. The closest and most dear friend to Our Good Lego King Harry, A wise Lego Wizard named Marvin. He wanted to make his worry known, For there was much danger in warring With a dark wizard like Lorenzo. Marvin approached the good king with care, And spoke in an agreeable manner. ?My Lord, I wish to make sure That we are not acting in a foolish light By beginning being side with hostilities Towards a powerful dark mage such as Lorenzo The Hideous. I do not call your courage into question, My liege, but I feel it would be wise to approach This newly found threat in a respectable and friendly manner at first, As we do not know truly the scope of Lorenzo?s dark magic. He is more powerful than we realize, and could be Hiding dark tools of destruction under cloak.? Good Lego King Harry was angered by this. His most trusted and dear ally, The ancient and wise Marvin, expressing doubts about His noble and hearty leader and retorted, ?What is this spineless nature you expose? You betray your king with such cowardly thoughts. I am aware of the dangers presenting this now, And I am fully knowledgeable of this evildoer?s properties. He is questing to destroy us, that is more than clear. We must avert our bloodshed with his blood. He will see our mighty strength and fall, That is how it shall be, for it is written so.? Then the ancient and wise Lego Wizard Marvin responded, ?But, sire, how do you know of his wickedness? Have you seen visions?? Good Lego King Harry said, ?A little bird told me. She warned me of a great danger and Dastardly plot by the evil and cruel Lorenzo The Hideous. The little bird told me of his wickedness.? But Lego Wizard Marvin still was under apprehension. Good Lego King Harry continued. ?Come, come, wise one. We shall discuss this further, But at a later time. Tonight we must rest, For tomorrow there is much preparation to be had. I bid you follow.? Then Good Lego King Harry did exit, expecting Marvin follow. Marvin did follow, but not after casting a worried glance skyward. ?What have we done?? he asked and hurried out. The next morn? bustled with talk of war. Lego Armor clanged, Lego Swords clashed, Lego Grunts and Lego Sweat poured from Lego Warriors and Lego Knights. The cool breeze rustled through the Lovely green Lego Leaves on the healthy Lego Trees. The yellow Lego Sun shone bright, But heat was not known. And a familiar Lego Rainbow streaked across the blue Lego Sky. Beautiful, young Lego Maidens served Delicious Lego Lemonade, And the cute Lego Children ran and played games in the Royal Lego Plains. As wondrous as the day was, an evil air still cast a funk. Off in the distance, over the Royal Lego Plains and past the Lego Rainbow, Even beyond the Dark Lego Woods, There loomed a ghastly mountain of sorrow. Some say it has a face, and casts its horrid glare Down upon the lands of Good Lego King Harry. Some also say it is a volcano, dormant for many moons. Volcanic ash still spews into the air, And fumes create a halo displaced. The mountain that penetrates into the heavens, Mocking them defiantly. It is truly a dark rod of evil. As the day closed, Good Lego King Harry sat in his chamber, Looking out at this mountain of evil. He was in thought, mesmerized By the imposing rock in the distance. ?Such dread fills me when gazing at that mount. Look at the beauty of sunset behind it. Curséd mount! You blasphemy by violating such a Perfect sky. Mark my word, I swear upon my father?s honor, I will put an end to you, terrible evil. Tomorrow you shall meet your end.? Good Lego King Harry closed the curtains and slept his final sleep, For tomorrow a great battle would rage, And he would not find joy in it. The soldiers gathered early, Eager to engage such a horrid villainous worm As Lorenzo The Hideous. Good Lego King Harry strode out majestically to Rally his troops into frenzy. ?Hear, and listen well! Today we ride to destroy a plague! Many moons ago, it was said by the great prophet Elijah, That one day evil will fall And the wicked ones will be punished In a glorious battle. That day is today. We have come to end a barbarian, And succeed we shall! Onward!? And with that, Good Lego King Harry led his warriors to the mountain. Lorenzo The Hideous was prepared. Secluded in his mountain peak tower, Summoned hideous creatures to assault Good Lego King Harry. This did not deter Good Lego King Harry, But did enrage him more, and he shouted at Lorenzo, ?Come, fight, evildoer! Taste my cold steel sword! If you be a man of valor, come and fight me! Otherwise, you are of cowardly nature and I shall defeat you! For I am on the side of good And wholesome belief!? Lorenzo listened to the king?s babble and contemplated His next defensive attack. ?I know how to deal with miserable insects,? he whispered As he cracked his knuckles and whipped his long, spidery arms around. ?Pain and death I cause, No remorse I hold, Death to you all, May you rot in hell! Curse be on you and your kin, As I unleash on you this sin!? Moans and wails ran ?round the chasm, Killing trees and withering their roots. The grounds split open, sending the warriors into its horrible depths. Screams of agony pierced the king?s ears as his followers Fell prey to the poison touch of the death wraiths. Volcanic gas arose from the ground, suffocating all. Good Lego King Harry looked around in horror. ?What have I done? Oh, curse you, Lorenzo! You have sinned and I am punishéd! Damn you and your horrid kind!? Good Lego King Harry screamed and Futilely ran at Lorenzo?s tower. He had made it to the gate, But, hark! What bony, skeletal hand grabbed him? Good Lego King Harry falls! He does not get up! Fight, Good Lego King Harry, fight! He fights! To no benefiting result. More of those hellish skeletal hands have taken hold of him, Fingers prying, ripping his armor off, Shredding his clothes. What strength they hold. Good Lego King Harry, farewell As you are dragged down into those pain depths. Lorenzo took sight of the king?s demise and cackled maniacally. He screamed at the battered and beaten troops of the former king. He said, ?Ah! Look now at your glorious ?king!? He dwells in pits of hellfire And is raked by spears and daggers! Ferocious beasts gnaw on his innards And his eyes are boiled in pitch! Now, behold what I hold in store for you bloody masses!? He chanted and waved his arms, And bolts of thunderous poison Came shooting down from the sky, Immolating all. Thus, the end came to the curséd quest of Good Lego King Harry. ?Tis End

I twitch all the time. It's called Tourette Syndrome. While Tourette's enhances my creativity, it still brings twitches and ADHD. Jenn doesn't seem to notice the twitches anymore. Guess she's gotten used to them. Right Jenn?

Though, apparently, most of Spinal Tap was improvised. Rob Reiner had a basic outline of what he wanted and the actors took it from there. I'm not sure what was improv and what was scripted, but I think that's how it should be. Improv should blend seemlessly with the written part. That's what This Is Spinal Tap is. :)

Such an excellent movie. The utter banality of the dialogue is perfect. The characters just talk about nothing and it's so great! 34 drummers...some exploding, some choking on other people's vomit, gardening accidents...such great situational comedy. And the concerts rock. I was very pleased to see Billy Crystal and Bruno Kirby, too. I've watched it about 3 times in the past week. "These go up to eleven."

Boy, you're really asking for a lot. Er, I mean Your question isn't out of line, it's just my answer is going to be pretty huge. 7th GRADE: Social Studies with Mr. Campbell, ?slappo,? ?the messenger always gets killed.? The Campbell Chronicles. Super Idiot and Moron Man. How do you sum up an entire year? Simple. ?Mr. Campbell.? One of the most fun teachers ever, he knew how to get to students. Whether he was explaining how to get out of a choke hold or teaching us where Zimbabwe was, he always made it fun. He once told us that ?the messenger always gets killed.? That?s why I will always dread being the messenger. Scott and I worshipped Mr. Campbell. He was a star character in our comics. I created a comic strip entitled, The Campbell Chronicles, which told the adventures of our eccentric social studies instructor. Mr. Campbell?s social studies class also had a profound effect on our comics. Scott and I both created our idiot superheroes on the same day. Super Idiot from Scott and Moron Man from me. Both seemed to live in the same universe. There were occasional crossovers. It was fun. 8th GRADE: Our principal, Mrs. Hamm, spoke at our graduation ceremony. Mrs. Hamm scares me. CHS: FROSH YEAR: Stink bombs. Comic confiscation by Mrs. Iaconelli. Scary pep rallies. Singing ?Brown Eyed Girl? with 7th period art class and Mrs. Rossi. Discussing the 1998 Godzilla atrocity with STH. Freshman year was scary. We were so young and so new to everything. We didn?t know what to expect. Stink bombs went off in freshman hall after every pep rally, some freshman got paddled. I?m amazed I turned out as well as I did. SOPH YEAR: The Thing of CHS. First kiss backstage with a crew member during Fiddler. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me with STH, Hyzer, and Hemphill in an empty theatre. Eisenmann torturing Jonathan Atkins. Mess up day, stealing cheese, looting Tevye?s house. Pokémon Red and Blue with STH. Mysterious organ music. The highlight of sophomore year for me was Fiddler on the Roof. It was my first show, and I was nervous. But everybody was really cool and showed me the ropes. Well, everybody was cool except Jonathan Atkins. He was a little *****. Marc Eisenmann would torture him mercilessly, and with good reason. Jon Atkins was a little *****. We all plotted to tie him to the boat in Boston. Another thing that happened that year was I got hooked on Pokémon. Scott and I played his Red and Blue most of the time we were out in the auditorium. I hate Pokémon now, but I still like Red and Blue. Mess-up day is always a blast. Especially when you?re stealing cheese from Tevye?s cart, or looting his house. We can?t forget the weird things, either. Mysterious organ music playing and strange creatures running around in the back lot of the high school. Also, I had my first kiss during Fiddler. I was the cute, little newcomer to the drama club, and made friends with some of the female crew. They liked me. My nickname was Alex ?The Hat? Esten. It?s always fun outside of school, too. Scott, Chris, Matt and I went to go see Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me one day during a vacation week. The theatre was empty. We took up an entire row. JUNIOR YEAR: Creative Writing with Ms. Sammartino. Proofing the script of The Good Guys. History with Ms. Baxter. TORONTO. Super Smash Bros. Tourney, hosted by STH. The two biggest things in junior year were the script of Scott?s comedy, The Good Guys, and the Super Smash Bros.© Tourney hosted by Scott. We edited the script a lot in homeroom. Chris, Scott, and I all had our hand in rewriting scenes and changing camerawork and whatnot. Gina Petti had a hand in it, too. The Tourney was awesome. I had a come-from-behind victory. Alan Croft shall forever hate me with a beam sword and a couple of strategically-placed proximity mines. I?m also deadly with a Home Run bat. ?Grabbing, throwing, zapping.? TVP STUFF: The Good Guys ?Alex put your pants back on!? ?Hey want to come over here with Dick and me??(

First kiss that didn't mean anything: During my Sophomore year of High School, during Fiddler On The Roof. I was the cute newcomer to the Drama Club, and some of the Senior girls on Stage Crew absolutely loved me (as a friend, of course). I guess you could call me cuddly and fun. So, we're doing rehearsal one night, and Leah says, "Alex, I need to talk to you about something." I was going on stage in a few minutes so we couldn't talk there. After the scene, I was walking backstage and Leah came up to me. She said something like, "Alex, Justin sees the way we act around each other, and bet me to kiss you. So, could I?" And we leaned into each other in the darkness of backstage and kissed. I was a bit shaky after that, lol. At the end of the school year, when Leah signed my yearbook, after her message she added, "P.S. Oh and I didn't let Justin pay me for kissing you." Leah was a really cool girl. Okay, first kiss that meant something: This happened when I met my girlfriend (now my ex) for the first time. I know it's a bit hard to follow, because it's excerpted from an IM, but here goes. CHSFilmGod: we met in philly so i could help her with a film project CHSFilmGod: she skipped her 3 hour drawing class so we could finish recording dialogue CHSFilmGod: we went into the sound recording booth at UArts, and i wanted to kiss her there, but we didn't CHSFilmGod: we got finished the day's filming and she liked me even then CHSFilmGod: so i suspect that's why she invited me back to her house for dinner. CHSFilmGod: We took the train back to the Lindenwold stop, CHSFilmGod: so it was like a 35-40 min ride CHSFilmGod: and she was really tired so she rested her head on my shoulder. CHSFilmGod: I wrapped my arm around her and started stroking her hair CHSFilmGod: then she interlocked our fingers CHSFilmGod: and we both knew we really liked each other CHSFilmGod: then her mom picked us up at Lindenwold CHSFilmGod: and we went up to her room to watch a montage she made. CHSFilmGod: We were just laying there, her arm draped over my chest CHSFilmGod: and then I asked her out CHSFilmGod: but I didn't really need to. CHSFilmGod: We both knew we'd be seeing each other again. CHSFilmGod: Her parents did too. CHSFilmGod: "And Alex, it was very nice meeting you. i'm sure we'll be seeing you again" they said as Laura and I were going to her car. Before we left, we filmed some more scenes in her neighborhood. When we finished a shot, we snuck a quick kiss. On the car ride to my house, we would kiss at some red lights. When we got to my house, I introduced her to my parents, she apologized for keeping me so late (hehe) and I walked her to her car, kissing along the way. It was nice. Good memory.

I'm nothing but a fool. I've got bells on my pointy hat And a scepter with a grin, I laugh and joke And make merry with my kin. They laugh at me, they do. But they don't know What's really going on. They think I'm only Having harmless fun, But I'm one of the Jesters, I'm one of the fools. And when our day comes, We're going to rule. Come to my side, Come to the side of the Jesters. [color=darkblue][b][size=1]All[/size] [size=2]9[/size] [size=1]of your threads have been merged together, PoisonTongue. While your works follow the quality standards we set for OB, it is definitely against the rules to mass post so many things at once. In the future please create one thread for your many varied works, or post them seperately across an increased length of time. -Shy[/size][/b][/color]

Hey Charles. hehe. Funny stuff! I don't know who writes goofier poetry: you or me. We'll have to have a Poem-Off.

Interesting read, but I have a few suggestions. First, I?d definitely go back in the entire story and read through it closely. There are a lot of mistakes. Some concern spelling, some concerning punctuation. Check your syntax, namely ?your? vs ?you?re.? I see quite a few of those. The dialogue is very ?meh.? It?s overwritten. If this is an actual screenplay, you need to cut it down A LOT. Screenplays need to move, move, move. This doesn?t. It really plods along and gets tiresome to read. Simply, screenplays? rhythm is ?bang bang bang bang.? Quick, sharp, short, right to the point. This rhythm feels like ?buuuuuuuuuup buuuuuuuuuuup buuuuuuuuup.? I feel like the tortoise when I read it. Basically concerning dialogue: shorten, tighten and focus it. You need to get rid of the extraneous stuff. A lot of the dialogue feels awkward. Would characters talk like this? Would you talk like this? Would royalty talk like this? I think that awkwardness is caused by not fully understanding your characters and scenes. For example, Scene 2. If the chamber is beyond human comprehension, how can you understand it? I realize it?s science fiction, but sci fi still needs to adhere to the rules it sets. Try a different ideal surrounding the chamber. Something eternal, not unknowable. Your story is a start, but it?s only a beginning. It still requires heavy revision and editing. I suggest stepping back from your work. Detach yourself from it. Limit your emotional involvement. Treat it like a school essay. Cut what isn?t needed, tighten what you want to keep. Also, try to not rip-off 2001: A Space Odyssey. ROTI?s description sounds a lot like Dave Bowman?s Star Child. Last, with the scenes I?ve read and the errors within, I highly doubt any company has optioned this. If you have this story in proper script format, please post that instead. I much prefer to read a polished script in proper script format than reading this. If your script has indeed been picked up, then you should know what I'm talking about.

FF7 is my favorite out of the series. I love the scope of the story. It's so broad and so well executed. Sephiroth is such a perfect villain. I'm glad he isn't designed like a maniacal Bondian king, like Kefka from VI. Though, Kefka wasn't disappointing; he just lacked the "edge" that Sephiroth had. Sephiroth reminds me of a villain from 1940s cinema: suave, stylish, composed. He exudes an air of "deceptive tranquility," in that he presents himself as mature but then unleashes brutal hostility when the climax is reached. I compare him to Vincent Price in House On Haunted Hill.

haha, XeEmo. I can relate. When I was younger, I had trouble with SMB at first, but got better, like you did. But I play SMB Deluxe on Game Boy Color now, and I find myself dying more than I did back when I was 5. My reaction speed is totally messed up. I used to be able to time jumps into bricks so I'd hit a few Goombas in a succession. Now I'm more comfortable unleashing fireballs on them from a Fire Flower. I guess the comfort using projectile weapons comes from playing FPS so much...

In reference to Mnemolth's disappointing rebuttal, I say the following: "Dude, does it just suck being you? There's a word for your entire post. It's called ********. ******** because you go on and on about what a great person you think you are. Hell, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say I believe you. Now, after giving you the benefit of the doubt and being kind enough to acknowledge your post, I ask you: ?if you're such a well-rounded person, and apparently so wonderful and such a stellar human being, why are you getting so pissy on an online web forum?? I see no maturity at all in anything you just wrote. I see a pissy, whimpering, weak, little man trying to make himself big. You claim that you don't throw hissy fits--dude, your entire response was one big hissy fit. I read the entire damn thing. I want my 15 min back. I could've been doing productive stuff, like writing an epic. And you requested that whoever wishes to respond to this drivel, needs to read your entire post? Are you that pompous, too? I think, you need to get off your Woody Allen wannabe ***, grow some hair on your chest, get the squeak out of your voice, and get rid of that annoying ?holier than thou? attitude the pervades your nonsense responses, then come back and see me. Then I know I'll treat you like an equal and not like some pompous Simpsonian reject." Now, Cloricus...yeah just to annoy him, I'm going to mention his name. (oh, the horror! The world is going to end; I mentioned your name!) There's a way we all can forget about you. You can get banned. Would you like that? Maybe that's what you've been hoping for all along, then you'd have more to ***** and moan about, right? Maybe then you could fully convince yourself that all the Mods on Otaku are evil, right? Out of the respect for the others browsing OtakuBoards, I will refrain from using the obscenities that I would normally direct toward you, but I do bite my thumb at you. EDIT: -esp-

In the few months that I've been browsing OtakuBoards, I haven't seen anything to suggest unfair treatment. Criticizing James and Charles is unfounded. Charles is far from egotistical. He has more of a self-deprecating sense of humor than anything. I go to school with him. He's a cool cat. And this reply is not sucking up to anyone. People who know me know that I don't suck up.

?The Baby Was Alien To Them? His name was just a place-holder. They didn?t know what they were going to name him. They didn?t want him to begin with. But there he was, on their doorstep. They had to take him in; what were they going to do, leave him there? They named him Davey. Davey was just a temporary name, of course, until they could find him a proper home with people who knew how to care for him. They had no idea what they were doing. They couldn?t even take care of themselves. When Davey sobbed, they could only hug him. When he cried, they gave him food but he wouldn?t eat it. They tried to make him fall asleep by rocking him in their arms, but the movement just made him cry louder. His screams were high-pitched wails that pierced their sensitive ears. They had never needed to listen to anything that loud before, as the other volumes in the house were kept to low hums and soft buzzes. Even the media screen volume was muted. Davey was a shock to them. They marveled at how long Davey was able to sustain such a high-pitched screech. They tried to comfort him but he continued to scream. It seemed that every touch and stroke elicited more and more intolerable noise. The neighbors began banging on the walls, yelling obscenities in a variety of dialects and demanding that they shut Davey up. After two nights, the complaints starting amassing in the landlord?s mailbox. The all requested the same thing: that the screaming stop. Mr. Lackland, the landlord, trudged over to the apartment as fast as his stubby legs would allow and knocked on the door with a fat fist. There was no answer but the crying continued. Mr. Lackland slipped an envelope through the mail slot. The word, ?URGENT,? was written in bold, red letters in as many languages as were customary. A very haggard young couple entered the living room and picked up the newly delivered notice. The letter notified them of the forty complaint letters filed against them. Ten were enough to have them evicted from their apartment. The looked at each other and sighed a heavy sigh. The screaming continued. They realized they could not raise Davey. They were only fifty-two cycles old, which roughly equaled about nineteen years on a human scale. They both knew what they had to do. Later that day, Edgar and Cassandra left Davey at the intergalactic adoption clinic, knowing Davey will find a good home with people who understand the needs of a human baby. ?Don?t worry, honey,? Edgar said, ?someday we?ll have our own child and know how to do things correctly.? A tear began to roll down Cassandra?s blue, scaly cheek and Edgar dabbed it away with a Skarloin handkerchief. ?Everything is going to be all right, Cassandra.?

The game that got me hooked on gaming was Contra 1. I played it over my cousin's house--rather, I saw it being played and tried to play but wasn't allowed. I was fascinated by the NES and got one either that Christmas or the next year's. The first game I had ever beaten was either Super Mario Bros 1 or Contra. My dad and I stayed up until Midnight one night so he could teach me how to beat SMB. Good memories. My dad ruled at Duck Hunt and the Clay Shooting variation. Contra was the ultimate cooperative game, which meant I beat it with my best friend, Steve. When that Red Falcon heart began thumping faster and faster and exploded, Steve and I looked at each other, our eyes wide with excitement and wonder. We both knew what the other was thinking: "Dude, we just beat Contra!"

Hmmmm...one second. ::checks reserve and pre-order receipts:: I've got... A Game Boy Player coming this month, Super Mario Advance 4 to accompany my GBP and it's Super Mario Bros 3 (enough said, right), Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes in the Fall, because it's Metal Gear Solid; the original PSX is one of my favorite games of all-time--definitely on the Top 10. I couldn't pass up the chance to play MGS with MGS2 graphics. Starcraft: Ghost. I'm a big fan of Stealth/Action/Adventure, and it's no coincidence the pre-order times are the exact same for Ghost and Twin Snakes. Plus, Ghost has been getting stellar previews and hands-on impressions. Being the completist I am, I've pre-ordered Star Wars Galaxies for PC. Quite unrelated, but I needed to include it...damn Obsessive Compulsive nature. lol

I chose Cube. While I absolutely love my GBA, I see it becoming nigh-obsolete in the upcoming months. I have reserved a Game Boy Player, which I'll get later this month. With the Player, which essentially becomes part of my Cube, my Cube and GBA will become fused as one system. I will still use my GBA to link Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire, of course, but ultimately, my Cube will get the most attention.

A bit Off-Topic my next thought is, but here goes: Did anyone catch South Park last night on Comedy Central? It was on around...I would say 12 midnight EST. It was hilarious and featured a great satirical element of video game obsession. Cartman had found a "feminine item" of Stan's mother in the bathroom trash; in order to buy the kids off, Stan's mom bought them the newest video game system...I can't remember the exact name but it was something like, "Arocka 3000 Gamesphere." In keeping with the tradition of new system hysteria, the boys lie to their parents (Kyle telling his mom that Stan is suffering a deep depression from a date rape memory) so that they can play Gamesphere all weekend long. The episode really reminds me of how I was when I was their age. NES and Sega Genesis were my vices. I also liked the image of the Gamesphere. It was shaped like Kenny, featured a nice Xbox-ian green hue, but the controllers and name parodied Nintendo. I was surprised to notice no Sony references, though. Any thoughts?

For parts of my reply, I?m excerpting a journal entry of mine from ujournal. Most will be able to tell where my favorites fall. ??but for multiplayer, I gravitate to the 'Cube. Much like I did during the Golden Days Of N64 (which, by the way, is still amazing and brilliant) when there was GoldenEye 007 and Super Smash Bros, not to forget Mario Kart 64 and Bomberman 64, as well. Back in High School, my friends and I played N64 religiously?we played it for hours upon hours. We first started with GoldenEye. That was our frosh year. At the end of our soph years, Smash Bros. was released, and we adopted another multiplayer game. Some of my fondest memories are during our deathmatches. We all had character obsessions in Bond and Smash. For me, it was Oddjob and Pikachu. Scott loved Boris and Jigglypuff (When the tough get ruffed, the puff get tough?) Matt and Chris always raced me to Oddjob, but my timing was better. Chris usually played as Bond and Link in Smash. Matt, well, Matt vacillated between a few different characters in GoldenEye (I think it was Natalya, Xenia, Moonraker Elite, and Mishkin? But I'm not sure) and usually played as Fox in Smash. Out of us four in the games, I was disturbingly good. I could line up headshots with the Golden Gun for one shot-one kill, all while under heavy fire from KF7 Soviets. They set me up a lot during Bond. Potty breaks would lead to 3 KF7s pointed at my head, and my health was suddenly down to one bar. But I was that good to where I killed all three of those little backstabbers without dying. Swerving and dodging. "Stop moving around, Alex!!!" Fun times. Smash was no different. Whoever was on my team was sure to win. I was deadly with a beam sword and the Home Run Bat. If I knocked you off the arena, you weren't coming back. I threw whatever I could find...capsules...swords...fans...guns (even with shots still left)...bombombs...anything. Matt got really pissed off at that. "Alex, will you stop throwing things at me?!?!?!?" Mario Kart 64 was very good. The revenge bombomb is an excellent way to either get back at the player who slain you, or to just have some fun by targeting an innocent Yoshi who has just been minding his own business and avoiding conflict. It?s an excellent game for the demented humor of my comrades. Bomberman 64. The game was amazing. Setting the timer for 1 minute for the Pyramid level was one of the greatest set-ups for any game I've ever played. My friends and I were screaming at each other. It was great! If you could only see the expressions on their face as a beam sword comes hurling from the other side of the screen to smack them into oblivion. I loved Scott?s disturbing laughter as he blows away chunks of the ceiling (my floor) in an attempt to take away my sniping position. If I had only recorded my friends as they voiced their disgust with my guerilla tactics and hit-and-run techniques?? Some games not mentioned in the above excerpt include: Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey. I first played this game in Summer of 1997. It was one of my first experiences with 4 player?play. It really showed me what multiplayer gaming can be and made me long for a Mutant League Hockey remake. MLH FOREVER. Side note: Mutant League Hockey is my favorite hockey game ever. It will always hold a special place in my memories. It was actually the first game I played with 4 players (gotta love the 4 player adapter). Anywho, that?s somewhat irrelevant. StarFox 64. Again, I played this in Summer of 1997 and it made my jaw drop. The pure finesse of execution and pick-up-and-play gameplay that still leaves room for advanced players blew me away. StarFox 64 may be a perfect game. It blends flight sim, arcade action, insanely fun levels, and a multiplayer mode, which is in essence, a ?four player aerial fighting game.? As you can see, I have a varied list, much like the other replies. The one game I have described that isn?t a Nintendo title is Red Faction. When I spoke about Scott blowing up my floor, I was referring to the Lobby level in Red Faction 1?s deathmatch. I had gotten up to the rooftop area where the Fusion Rocket Launcher is and proceeded to rain death down on Scott. But then he realized the GeoMod engine could give him the upper hand. He gathered up his rockets and began punching holes in the ground I was walking on. He was laughing manically. It was great. In closing, I guess this is the list of my favorite N64 games, in no particular order, just as they pop into my head. 1) GoldenEye 007. 2) Super Smash Bros. 3) Bomberman 64. 4) Mario Kart 64. 5) Star Fox 64. 6) Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey. Perfect Dark was fun for a bit, but it didn?t have the?GoldenEye flair that I had expected. Zelda: OOT was good, but not LoZ good. Thanks. Maladjustment, great icon! Desbreko, where do you live? If it?s South Jersey, I?ll play against you in SSB1.

It's been a while since I've been on these boards, but Charles sent me this thread. Most posts have agreed that a game is made mature by the maturity level of the gamers playing it. I believe James made a distinction between "mature" and "adult." I like to think that Mature means With More Intelligence, while Adult has that...offensive air. Conker was mentioned. Granted, it's loud, vulgar, pompous at times, gory, and offensive, but it's such an intelligent satire masked by vulgarity. Many of the reviews I read have praised it for its ingenuity and said how if gamers can get past the initial shock, they'll find a most enjoyable game. The fact that only mature (READ: experienced and knowledgeable) people will notice so many of the film references and societal satire (South Park, too. Comment in a bit). How many 13 year olds would get the Dr. Strangelove reference, in the form of the goofy weasel scientist? I was very pleased when I watched the finale. If Peter Sellers had been turned into a weasel, he'd be in Conker. Surely, today's Matrix-raised, adrenaline-pumped, flash-bang audience would rave over the Lobby level (which was great to play, of course!) and most would notice the Saving Private Ryan sequence, but I'm not too certain that they'd realize they'd just been exposed to 30 year old films. And the fact that Conker is a satire of his very genre is remarkable. It broke the mold of conventional 3D platformers. The enemies are ridiculous (A giant lump of Poo that is really a T-800), the protagonist an anti-hero and certainly not loveable (as opposed to Mario or Crash), and a main purpose to get rich (as opposed to rescuing a girlfriend or saving the world). The only other platformer that comes close to this, IMO, is a new development. Gamepro had an exclusive in the last issue. Dangerous Animals...or something...something with "Animals" in the title. Their protagonist is a weasel chained to a cute, helpless bunny (the bunny is used as a weapon, of course), who both need to escape from the lab at which they're being tested on. They do not need to collect any coins or jewels; they simply need to escape, destroy equipment and slaughter guards on the way out. Mature ideas, yes. Adult presentation, definitely. South Park is an interesting show. Many people are turned off by it and downright refuse to watch it due to the risque humor. But there is so much societal satire that young viewers would not appreciate. When Cartman has become a conglomerous monster, Kyle infiltrates to shut him down and a 2001 Space Odyssey parody ensues. Some ideas in South Park are over the heads of the Jackass audience that the show shares. Jackass. Is this mature? No. Adult. It's juvenile entertainment watching visuals of idiot pain. Beavis And Butthead. Again, mindless entertainment. Good if you need a quick laugh, of course. Simply, in my opinion, in order to ascertain if a form of entertainment is mature or inappropriate (or a combination), we need to first examine the root of the ideas presented in it, regardless of the presentation. Because isn't that what most people defend themselves with? That they don't care about the presentation if the gameplay or substance or plot is there. I hope that made sense. Thanks. EDIT: I looked up the name of the new platformer starring a weasel and bunny. It's tentatively titled CHAIN GANG.

A short piece satirizing game shows. More involved sections are being written. ?You?ve solved the puzzle! You?ve won the grand prize! Tell her what she?s won, Johnny!? ?Thanks, Bill! Marie, you?ve won a weekend excursion getaway on Tiki Hawka Island! There you?ll enjoy white sand beaches and love the tropical waters. You?ll be privy to many of the island?s fabulously expensive and exclusive attractions for essentially nothing! Whoa, there, Marie, don?t hyperventilate yet. We haven?t told you about the exotic men and gigolos you?ll have the profound pleasure of having! And you don?t have to worry about your husband being jealous, because included with the tropical paradise weekend getaway is a guaranteed, 100% effective, total spousal lobotomy! Our spousal lobotomies ensure that you?ll have a fabulous time without worry of your loved one welcoming you home with a loaded shotgun! Here?s your husband now, Marie! Look at that smile, he?s so happy for you. Now, now, Marie, watch for that drool!?

Hasn't happened to me with WW. I find during Timesplitters 2 it occasionally locks up when loading in one of my huge custom map maker levels...which really does annoy me, because I'm positive those maps are now corrupted...a good four hours of design sucked out of my day. I've had one problem with a controller, but only due to dog hair on the connectors. I say, Cube components can take a beating.

Very fun stuff. I kept getting this vision of...a...hyperactive sprite.