Baron Samedi

Sorry but my 'Chloe-ness' is the queen. Coz I'm the King, and shes mah Girl! Heh. I want everyone to give a big clap to Drix on his newly acquired Mod-ship-ness. *claps* *cheers* Yay. :toothy:

Thanks for the comments. I like the more simple kind of presentation, but I might fiddle around with the text, and see if I can get it better.

People are stupid. Suiciders are wusses. Sport fanatics need a life. I mean [i]fanatics[/i] not fans. People who go psycho voer sport. Idiots.

Uuh. Yeah. But I am still going to stalk you. And I would come in 5 times a day, but then I wouldn't be on OB so much. I hate slow checkiers. Even if your not in a hurry, they stand there, scan the same thing 500 times, because they havn't got it facing the right way, and take 10 minutes to pack 3 bags. Don't mistake me, there are good cashiers. Just not enough. Cheers for Magdalena. Whoever you are.

OK. So have we all established that there is no such thing as normal yet? ~_^

Semjaza- I have raced under the 'L' on Midtown Madness. Heh. Maybe that guy remembered that he didn't have any money, I don't know. Sadly, I am tempted to disagree with you as to the veracity of your statement about the 'bag man'. It seems a bit extreme, and pathetic, even for a human being. Racism is something that will never fully be weeded out, until we are all similar. People need some-one to be superior to, even if it is a whole race of people. The fact is, they are not superior, because there is more difference between two white men, than there is between the same man, and a black woman! (DNA wise) People should grow up, but we won't, eventually it will be a minority thing, but for now, just put up with it. Racists are below you. OK? I think you should have put this in the other Racism thread, but Yeh...

Drix, do you sleep with that dictionary? Does Raiha get annoyed by it? Heh. One bus trip back to school, a friend and I had a huge argument about it. Normal is something that can only exist in one persons mind. Because everyone has slightly diferent personalities, they all have different ideas of normality. But because of this, no-one can be normal. If only one person thinks that a particular person is normal, because they fit their idea of 'normal' that means that nobody else thinks they're normal. Meaning they are not judged to be normal. And people have a different public face to a private face, so who can judge? Why bother asking questions whos answers can not be established. You will only hear the same thoughts, spouted over again. I don't think anybody believes that there is a 'normal' because everyone has the exact same reasons that it isn't. Bleh. We need some new topics. Not that this is a [i]bad[/i] one, but.... mutual opinion agreement. The bane of discussions. Hey, at least we have a measure of 'sameness' on our POV of this issue. Does [i]this[/i] mean we are now normal? Totally collapsing the belief structure of this thread? I wonder.....

Here is a new Hagar banner I made. I'm not sure if I will use it, how much do you guys like it?

Well, he shouldn't go goalie then should he? Hhhhhmmm. I am a bloke, but this one is funny. Women like diiferent types of men depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. When ovulating, they like men with strong, masculine facial features. When menstruating, they like men with a hatchet in the back of their head, a plank up their butt, and their clothes on fire. Heh. You can thank my mum for that one.

Damn. Well, if I can't be OB's official Josh-ness then it will just have to stay with mah friend and me. Heh. We made up the 'Joshness' and 'Jaceness' thing about 5 months ago. lol. The traits of a nation are passed on. Or something o.0

I was real excited there. Someone said 'Joshness' and I thought it was me. Heeeeeey, waidaminute.... no-one here knows my real name *looks around* *runs and hides* Lots of the mods are cool, and seem like nice people. Basically all the mods seem great. Dunno why....Gosh, you mods are attractive.! ********Edit************ Thansk rich, I do actually remember you. Heh, everytime I see your on I go and look at your posts *beams in parent-ish way* lol. ********Edit***********

Keep up your rep Drix. Who knows you could be going places. Hell, who am I kidding. With an argumentative trend like that, may I correct, a [i]successful, well knowledged[/i] argumentative trend like that, you will go far. If not in real life, at least on OB. Heh. Special-ness. Becoming a Junior Member is a... memorable thing. 'Grats.

I probably don't use my full potential all the time. I procrastinate, and don't focus all the time. But seriously, as Semjaza mentioned elsewhere, kids are kids. We are [i]not [/i]supposed to be working all of the time. We need some relaxation. I am 14, and in an extension English and SOSE thing, but I don't focus as much as I should. I get pretty good marks, from, as you said Babygirl, putting in fancy words. I know that I need to buckle down and start to work harder though, especially as I am in Year 10 next year.

*wants to bash Crimson Spider for stealing his airbag joke from another Joke thread* A duck walks into a bar, and asks for some bread. 'Sorry son, we don't have any bread, this is a liquor store' Duck leaves. Next day the duck comes back 'Got any bread' 'No sonny, this is a liquor store Duck leaves. Next day the duck comes back 'Got any bread' 'No sonny, this is a.liquor store, and if you ask me for bread ever again II'll nail your beak to the counter' Ducke leaves. Next day the duck comes back 'Got any nails' 'No sorry, this is aliquor store' 'Got any bread then?' Heh````````` ------- A horse and a chicken are walking along the field, when the horse falls in a big hole. "Help, Help, get my out' he yells. "Wait a minute' says the chick 'I'll get the farmers car' So he comes back in the farmers BMW and pulls the horse out with a rope attatched to the car. THe next weekend they are walking through the same field, and the chicken falls in the hole "HElp HElp, get me out' he yells. So the horse sticks his ..hhmmm Penis over the edge and pulls the chick out. The motto of this story- You don't need a fast car to pull chicks, when you have a dick like a horse *Sorry bout that. heh* ----------- Will add some more from my 'database' when I get home. Editness: An Irish Cuckoo Love the Irish! Mick appeared on the Irish version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and towards the end of the programme had already won $500,000. "You've done very well so far," said the show's pesenter, "but for $1 million you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend. Everything is rding on this question......will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "OK. The question is: which of the following birds does NOT build it's own nest? (a) Robin, (b) Sparrow, (c) cuckoo, or (d) thrush." "I haven't got a clue," said Mick, "so I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Ballygoon." Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him. "Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple......it's a cuckoo." "Are you sure, Paddy?" asked Mick. "I'm fookin sure." Mick hung up the phone and told the TV presenter, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer." "Is that your final answer?" asked the host. "Dat it is, Sir." There was a long, long pause, then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won $1 million!" The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink. "Tell me, Paddy? How in God's name did you know it was the cuckoo that doesn't build it's own nest? I mean you know fook-all about birds." "For fooks sake!" laughed Paddy. "Everybody knows a fookin cuckoo lives in a clock!" It takes me ages to delete the little arrows in front, so I will just leave them now. Excuse me for this. It takes a Croatian man to make a girl feel like a > > > woman.. . > > > > > > On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes > > > through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, > > > and things go from bad to worse when one wing is > > > struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses > > > it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the > > > plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then, she > > > yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last > > > minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE > > > on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN ?" > > > > > > For a moment there is silence ... Everyone has > > > forgotten their own peril. They all stared, > > > riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the > > > plane. Then a Croatian man stands up in the rear of > > > the plane. He is gorgeous: tall, well built, with > > > dark brown hair and hazel eyes. > > > > > > He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning > > > his shirt... > > > > > > > > > > > > one button at a time... > > > > > > > > > > > > No one moves... > > > > > > > > > > > > He removes his shirt... > > > > > > > > > > > > Muscles are rippling across his chest. ... > > > > > > > > > > > > She gasps uncontrollably...... > > > > > > > > > > > > He leans towards her... > > > > > > > > > > > > She is about to faint... > > > > > > > > > > > > He whispers... > > > > > > > > > > > > "Iron this." ---------------- > > > > A man boards an aeroplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he > > glances > > > > up and sees a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. > > > > > > > > He soon realises she is heading straight towards his seat. > > > > > > > > A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she > > takes > > > > the seat right beside his. > > > > > > > > Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business trip or > > > > vacation?" > > > > > > > > "Nymphomaniac Convention in Milan," she states. > > > > > > > > Whoa!!! He swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. > > > > > > > > Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to > > him > > > > and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! > > > > > > > > Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "What's your > > > > business role at this convention?" > > > > > > > > "Lecturer", she says. "I use my experiences to debunk some of the > > popular > > > > myths about sexuality." > > > > "Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?" > > > > > > > > "Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that Black men are the most > > > > well-endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is > most > > > > likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men > > are > > > > the best lovers, when actually it is men of Greek descent." > > > > > > > > Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," > > > she > > > > says, "I shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your > > > > name!". > > > > > > > > "Tonto," the man says, as he extends his hand. "Tonto Papadopoulos." -------------  > > There was a Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jock, who was > > > very > > > interested in making a pound where he could, so he often would thin > > > down paint to make it go a wee bit further. > > > > > > As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the > > > Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on the roof of > > > one of > > > their biggest churches. Jock put in a bid, and because his price was so > > > competitive, he got the job. And so he set to, with a right good will, > > > erecting > > > the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, > I > > > am sorry to say, thinning it down with the turpentine. > > > > > > Well, Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly > > > done, > > > when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky > > > opened the > > > rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and > > > knocking > > > Jock fair off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones > > > surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint. > > > > > > Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgement from the Almighty, so > > > he got on > > > his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?" > > > > > > And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke: > > > > > > "Repaint! ........................ Repaint and thin no more!" -------------------- Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 132." HEh. Funny. --------------------- The newlyweds A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put off by them." "No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." "No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me." Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed. Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try. The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, woke his bride and without thinking, she immediately asks, "What on earth are you doing?" "Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!" --------------------------------- One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?" ----------------- An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!" ----------------- From a talk by R. James Woolsey, Director of Central Intelligence, given at a conference on global organized crime. "Just in case you think the FBI is not on the job, I have received a true intercept (and this is not made up...it is not Saturday Night Live) that the FBI made of itself while conducting an investigation in San Diego. It was sent to me by a friend of mine who used to be with counterintelligence in Washington. It is called "The FBI Pizza Call." FBI agents conducted a raid of a San Diego psychiatric hospital that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping the hospital." Agent: "Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda." Pizza Man: "And where would you like them delivered?" Agent: "We're over at the psychiatric hospital." Pizza Man: "To the psychiatric hospital?" Agent: "That's right. I'm an FBI agent." Pizza Man: "You're an FBI agent?" Agent: "That's correct. Just about everybody here is." Pizza Man: "And you're at the psychiatric hospital?" Agent: "That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas." Pizza Man: "And you say you're all FBI agents?" Agent: "That's right. How soon can you have them here?" Pizza Man: "And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?" Agent: "That's right. We've been here all day, and we're starving." Pizza Man: "How are you going to pay for all of this?" Agent: "I have my checkbook right here." Pizza Man: "And you're all FBI agents?" Agent: "That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked." Pizza Man: "I don't think so." Laughed long at this. ------------------------- The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up & cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realising he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, & I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said,- "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said,-"Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh ****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted. --------------------- Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry." Hearing this, the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: "Will it take ME?" ============ 10 Blonde Science Fair Projects: 10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous? 9) Is lighter fluid flammable? 8) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff? 7) Are knives sharp? 6) Can sharks hurt a human? 5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium? 4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall? 3) Can I go through a brick wall? 2) Can dogs talk? 1) Are blondes really dumb? ------------------------ Sorry for any ones people may find offensive. Most of them are just funny ones though.

I am no Anime fan, but anyways... no. No-one knows what Anime or manga is. Thats what I get for living in Australia, in [i]rural[/i] australia no less. And no, I don't live on a farm :p

I wouldn't be so sure... some of the guys at my school seem to have a cliquey action thingie going down....

Think. Why do countries 'do' terrorism... isn't it because another country does something that annoys them, or because they want to depose a government? So, if people were fair to one another, and let them get on with their religions, then it would only be against a 'bad' government. Now, if everyone is going to try and flush them out if they do terrorist attacks, are they going to? No. If you don't grant them publicity, don't acknowledge their cause, then they lose the way to get more followers, and to have people understand. Eventually it will die out. I am not saying AMERICA NECESSARILY DID THE WRONG THING, BUT I THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN RESOLVED DIFFERENTLY IF [I]BOTH[/I] PARTIES WERE MORE LENIENT. Damn capslock. I am going to leave this as is, coz I got to go, and can't be bothered re-changing that. But do you see my point?

Will I never influence anyone? Does anyone acknowledge my existance in this dark lonely corner of the Lounge? OR, should I say, about every thread in this very lounge, I am a nobody. Bleh. I wanna add Transtic Nerve to my list, because he made me what I am today. A... [b][center][color=red]Butabarian[/color]![/center][/b]

IF everything was as simple as you described, then it would suck. But we wouldn;t know it, because we would have no emotions. Life would be better if it was [i]simpler[/i] but not [i]that[/i] simple, because then. well it would be pointkless and nothing, and there would be no fun, or joy gained from hardships.

If America would just let other people have weapons, rather than hoarding them all themselves, it might help. America is going around saying 'No you aren't allowed to have these' and taking their nuclear and other weapons. So, who has all the weapons? America! Surprise-Sur-bloody-prise. This seems to aggravate the other countries, for some unknown reason, so they get annoyed. If people would just let others alone, then it would be better. IF everyone would forgo all other ties of allaince, and joined a treaty that stated that all countries would attack those who started a war (aside from mitigating circumstances) then there would be peace. Who is going to start a war if the whole world is going to come down around their ears? A treaty of fear, is better than no treaty at all, and it would work. But America feels like it needs to butt in everywhere. I don't think they would have attacked Irag, just to help the people. They thought he was making weapons, that is why they attacked. If they didn't act like such bigshots in the first place, it wouldn't have happened, well, he may have made weapons, but he probably wouldn't have launched them. The war between Russia and America was good. Because [i]both[/i] sides had strong weapons, which meant that they used other methods. So, if everyone had weapons, than no-one would use them, yes? If America is the only one with weapons, than others will feel threatened, and secretly manufacture them.

I wasn't actually talking about you, Drix, but about the thread starter, D_B_D... mixed messages I see. They al seem to me to have very similar personalities. Which I just thought was interesting point. But I agree with you Drix.

I like it heaps, but I only play it at school. I suck at scoring,so I go midline/fullback. I did a sliding tackle to one of our PE teachers during the game, took him out. That was fun. Another time I did a huge tackle from the side, but missed, and the person kicked me in the head as I went past. Soccer is a cool sport, second only to hockey.

Just a note: Have you noticed how certain types of people tend to clump together? I have noticed that a lot.... Anyways. People who have influenced me. terra: She gave me my banner and avatar and I do so dearly love them EVe and Tasrai: I PM Eve hepas, and I had a cool PM thing going with Tasrai for a while. Cool people. James: Doesn't veryone love him? Cool, funny... he just has this great feeling about him. Charles: Funny. Don't see him so much anymore, but he is funny. Poisontongue: Intelligent *claps* Drix: *Read above* Chaos: Corrected me on MAverick Hinters. Hopefully making me into a better RPG'er I am sure there are others, but it is period change, bell going, so I better go. Anyone I have missed, well You are all great. Aside from those I don't like, but that doesn't go in this thread. I was going to put Semjaza in here, but he can go jump now. :p Until then, he was pretty cool.

I can't imagine only eating one meal a day.. but what the hell does that have to do with maturity anyway? SHowing off about it probably makes you less mature, actually. And who cares if you don't go giggly at the word kiss? Most people don't, unless all the people you know are immature brats.

I hate those stupid road hogs. I feel so sorry for you man. Did they get that dickhead who cut you off? I hope so. I have been in one car accident, we went off the road, over a ditch, and missed the only tree in this paddock by about a foot. We were lucky. The ditch was about 3 metres deep, and we were extremely lucky we didn't end up nose-first in the ditch. I bruised my shoulder, and my mum bruised her leg, but we were OK. I also was involved in another one. It was night, and we were at a friends, taking turns to ride out his driveway, u-turn on the road, and come racing back in for a skid. Anyway, trees went almost to the end of this guys driveway, and I pedal out onto the road, but there is a car coming. I hit the front right tre, but I am OK, bike is OK, nobody is hurt, just a graze. If i had left a second earlier, I would have been under the wheel of the car o.0 Freaky. It was my fault, of course, but I was only 9 or something. I was so lucky. Hope that you get better soon, and regain your sight.