Avatarofkaine

"Rock music is the devil" or not, people have precocieved views of everything, music, people, books, everything, because its pop people presume its light and bubly, because its rock, people presume its rough raw abusive, its the same way with people, if go downtown dressed in black or unusually as i often do, i am instantly classified as a "gay gothic loser" while i do believe that its quite interesting to be a gothic, for me to call myself one would bring untold badgering from true gothics, they know if they are a true gothic or not, i mearly dress individually. sidetracking alot but the point i am trying to make is that people have decided everything before they look, listen, comprehend it, thats why pop songs get away with what they do.

Haven't bought the album, have heard a bit more than mobscene though, and I like the album, in my personal opinion I think that he has proven he will stick around and as such is allowing himself to try different things. When he originally came to fame i dismissed him out of mind due to the large amount of shock he seemed to be basing his music career on rather than the music, if you think im wrong, good for you, i wasnt all that interested in him at the stage and didnt do to much justfying of that statement but i realy do believe that now he is established he has, and almost certainly will make music to keep me much more interested in his album releases. For me he is geting better and better, im considering heading backwards through the catlouge and seeing if i was wrong to originally dismiss him.

The urge to conform astounds me, I congratulate those on bringing the point of MTV "punk" bands to the fore, and they are truley far from punk. For those of you who would like to see what real punk music is, try the Sex Pistols, yes I realise that the music was quite basic, thus is the point of Punk music, it is an image, very little of the punk scene is actually about the music. Now as for AFI at the moment vs times past, I agree with anyone who mentioned how a band grows, any band who has had staying power has gone though some serious changes, they have had to to remain a viable commodity in a world of pop princesses and we wish we were bad boy's. Take a look at the new Metalica cd, they are now in my opinion Nu-metal and I am not at all happy. Metalica were classics, with songs like whiskey in the jar and the like they were in a field of their own, but with St anger they have joined legions of "hardcore" metal bands and wil undoubtedly lose all of their pioneering status. While AFI have significantly adapted, I am happy to say they are still a band who will make music for the meaning of it, not for the maximum recognition with the broadest of audiences, and as such, in the words of Davey Havok (band frontman) they are an unclassifiable band who make dark, slightly agressive music. My suggestion to you all is to listen to the cd with lyrics in hand, you will understand a whole lot more of the meaning.

Maybe it is just me, but is there meant to be an element of irony with the fact that all the lines of "I am alone" are accompanied by others, much as those who are alone in life are always in the presence of others who think themselves alone? Or was that just me?

Thats some mighty good work, I often have trouble with my poems because I write them as I feel or on my opinions and the timing/rythem/flow of the poem is often thrown off, I wish i could get my poems to flow like that one, smooth as a clear cold stream, keep up the inspiring work.

Thankyou, as I said I dont make public most of my poems, or at least I didn't in the past, but for some of the stuff I have been writing i dont really mind so much about other people seeing it. I posted this one in my romantic thread:----- As my blood do flow into the ground, and from my head fade the sounds, then i know i am defeated As the light does fade, death held at arms length, then i know i have failed As she slips from my arms, fades from my mind, then i know i am lost As i forget the notion i once believed, lose my faith in myself, forget my love of her, then i know i am pointless, and so berieved. As my hand drops her fingertips, my mouth fall from her lips, then i know i have realised my fears my death bereft of her is torment, my loss is damnation my life is forefeight but my love still lives eternal, Not so much typical lovey dovey, but its how I feel about this one girl in particular, i just think the depth of my emotion may well scare her, so the poems I write for her are a bit "toned down", if I write anything else I want to share I'll be sure to post it for you if you liked this one. Poetry is one of the few artsy expressiony things im good at, wish i was better at music but this is what I have so this is what I intend to do.

I had a good zone out today, 5 guys from my school were convinced i was stoned out of my head because they had been talking to me for about 5 minutes when they realised i wasnt listening and was just staring off into nothing and punched me to get my attention, after that at sport, another guy was sure i was one something because i was spouting random phrases and rocking back and forth subconciously. Thats up there with a few of my other zone outs, doesnt quite equal nearly driving a motorbike off a cliff though.

Ive been in one accident worth mentioning, setting first, private property, approx 12 acres, old beat up yellow cortina, and a track that circles some motorbike jumps- i think you may know where this is leading and i swear every word is true. My mate and i had been being general hoons and chasing rabbits across his acerage, me leaning out the window and yelling like a yobbo. As far as things go both me and my mae are quite reasonable drivers and we were pretty safe about not crashing in to anything. The problem occured when our lets say, sobriety challenged fathers decided they could and would outdo our yahooing and handbrake turns, of course being fathers and being drunk, they couldnt run the same course as we were and had to weave through the dirt mounds that serve as motorbike jumps. I was in the back seat with my mate, my dad was driving and his dad was in the passenger seat. Things werent going to bad untill my dad held the handbrake on a little to long and spun the car 90 degrees leaving us lined up with the first jump, and being drunk, he didnt think to use the brake and stop or anything silly like that, he just kept going, up over the jump,,,, and nose first into the next one, bringing us to a rather abrupt and dusty halt, noone was injured more than seat belt bruises, supposedly they kill as many as they save, and as a testimant to the duribility of an old cortina all we had to do was stomp the bonnet straight again and pull a dint out of the front roadscraper/bumper thingy. So thats my car crash experience. If you could understand my rambling anyway.

I have to totally agree with Lady Macaiodh, i wont call myself a wiccan, simply because i do not know enough, i like all the ideals, i find comfort in the beliefs, but through circumstance and spending to much time researching what some might call darker things, i could not call myself a practising wiccan. As such i believe that there may be something to all the spells, but only in the sence of true wiccan worship, where they are not childish love spells, but requests to The Goddess, requests of nature, very much close in nature to a prayer, and with all the belief in the power of prayer, and my personal belief that our thoughts and actions influence our surroundings, I will say that yes i believe TRUE wiccan worship may well provide those who ask with some sort of "powers" (the inverted commas are deffinately there for a reason). Really hope this made sense, im not thinking as clearly as I like to and im sure i will have made a stuff up somewhere in this post, sorry if i did.

I make much more sense online, i find it easier to get my point across in writing, hence i like to write poetry on how i feel, and make my opinions heared in a context like this. In real life i make far less sense and things get quite muddled up, to the point where i have to walk away from a convo and comeback if we are going to get anywhere, even though i do get the odd moment of inspiration and say something coherant in person, i think i do better in a text format not so much a different person, just a more understandable one.

Ive been alot of places emotionally, some of them pretty scary, lets just say i went beyond hitting myself to make sure i was still alive. But it doesnt matter how i felt it always changed, sometimes for worse, sometimes for better, sometimes it took months, sometimes days, and as far as i can see its prolly just hormones and whatnot. Ive been on mild anti deppresents, same drug as full on anti deppresant doeses, just less of it. And yea i guess it helped a liitle bit, i mean it prolly would have stopped me doing something like suicide. just wait, work it through, thats about the best advice i could give anyone feeling this way, it WILL change. Or at least it has for me and a few people i know who have felt like this. If it ever got serious like suicide or self mutilation, i would really talk to someone like a shrink, cause once you start feeling like that i know how hard it is to wait for yourself to feel better.

No way can i sleep unless im dead tired or sick, and it has to be dark, really dark, I have black curtains just too keep out my streetlight because its too bright. I have a thing about bright light in general but its not quite as bothersome in the day. Dark glasses and what not make it easier. Im also one of those people who like a soft sound playing in the background so i usually have a sterio on quite soft, but it still annoys my parents. Also as so many other people have said, nothin tops your own bed, its always the most comfortable, well almost always, i can only think of one thing that could make someone elses bed better though.

As my blood do flow into the ground, and from my head fade the sounds, then i know i am defeated As the light does fade, death held at arms length, then i know i have failed As she slips from my arms, fades from my mind, then i know i am lost As i forget the notion i once believed, lose my faith in myself, forget my love of her, then i know i am pointless, and so berieved. As my hand drops her fingertips, my mouth fall from her lips, then i know i have realised my fears my death bereft of her is torment, my loss is damnation my life is forefeight but my love still lives eternal, think that might be getting a bit away from the "I love you" poem, its about her but possibly not the typical romantic poem. whenever i write proper romantic poems, to me at least they come out MUCH to corny. I'm intent one something like the poem resting on a bed of daffodils, (her favourite flower, ive done my research). I should get plenty of opertunities for romantic gestures once i move to her neighbourhood, so we'll see what happens. Good feedback guys, i may have to use the snake idea on someone else i have in mind, should reinforce my standing as an occult freak, an image ive done nothing to dispell. I can't wait to see what else people come up with.

I zone out when i think too much, i think my mind just either ignores everything else and focusses on my thoughts, or packs it in all together. A couple of the worst times ive done this involved nearly riding a motorbike off a cliff, calling a teacher mum(now thats bad), and electrocuting myself while trying to put a home theatre system together all because i was thinking about something else at the time. Usually though things keep me pretty aware, all that stuff like music and reading usually make me take not and start annalizing stuff, so im more aware than ever when i do that sort of stuff, guess thats how my head works anyway.

Ok in disgussions with those of the fairer persuasion, (not implying inferiority in any way, your just a lot... fairer) I have been told that to find my way into the heart of a girl I love, I should send her flowers while she is at school, I however dont know that this is such a romantic notion. I then got to thinking on variations, i.e. filling her letterbox with rose petals, covering the lawn in rose petals overnight, etc etc.(what can i say, im just a born romantic :love: cough cough) But the question i want to ask, is, flowers or poetry?(poetry writen for that one girl alone). So go ahead and put forth your opinion, or any other romantic notions you have had, maybe we can prove to the girls we arent, as a gender, a bunch of boofheaded imbeciles when it comes to being romantic. Or then again i may just prove that i am the exception to yet another rule:freak: . Either way.

Usually i just write for myself and sometimes for that someone special, but lately this one poem has been sent to a few people who liked it, and Jesus chiken suggested i post it, so here it is everyone, form your own opinion. ---- Bleeders and bloodletters, poison pens, and hate letters, rip your heart from out your chest, fear not its all good fun, all done in jest, rip my heart from out my chest, calibures and tensile strengths, we weapons built to void defence, the rage brewing in our fists, we fear no more to take the piss, the rising of a concept, of rebirth through fire, the darkning of a contenant, apocaliptic covenant, as bodies burn and heroes rise, through jaded minds bear witness to your demise, as blade meets flesh and bullet death, rip my heart from out my chest, that i may fight with all my strength, for love is weakness and im a fool, drown your love in dark deep pool find your rage burn it bright, bring to bear unholy might, darkness deepness, live your desire, of hurt and pain and blood red fire, give birth to man, stained of blood, bury them all in a rageing flood, friends far and enemies dead, only then to be safe in bed a ringing urges in your head, a want a need quenched not for life, a hope a dream to be so light, to fall into arms another, to be forever with your lover, in death and hate you find cause to wait, to be for not yourself to find your mate, to dance to laugh to cry to another, to love to die to be for one other, to turn your backs on all the world, to find hope within each other, to feed to breathe to be as one, and as the man look down on us, his fear his life, his hate his lust, turn and run, they are all dust, each blooded man do as he must, to live his life, and not need trust, and as you dig, the bodies hole, think how one mans death may fill your bowl, think the cost, mearly a soul, to stand upon high hill, atop the funeral pyre, as dead men rise to stake a claim, a hefty price, need one to blaim, need a target someone to burn, line up the happy, drag them down, this twisted world it makes no sense, a weapon is torn from a white picket fence, and as i come to see, this life is farce, less one does find a soul to share, how beautiful you are, what you mean to me, how it is my soul set free, ride in love to setting sun, ride in love to barrel gun, finding love, to be with her only then does world seem fair.

OK this is starting to side track alot, not that that is a bad thing the point is to express our opinions. As for the "anger" involved in religios debates i can see where people get the idea and can also see that here the "anger" seems to have arisen only through misinterpretation. Mostly I just want to respond to what i have read and put foward the possibility that as humans are flawed when it comes to the comprehensions of divinity then would that not also explain as to why our interpretations of religions differ? In my opinion the reason religions condemn each other is because of our inability to truly understand the "TRUE" being of divinity. As for the original topic of wicans i to an extent adhere to the beliefs, up to the point of actually following a religious belief. The point of wican worship in my opinion is to center oneself with your suroundings untill you are brought into the presence of the true being of divinity and can finally understand all the workings of faith. Religion is mearly mans way of coping with his flaws of faith--- it is only something to fill the time untill we are shown the Truth. Sorry if this is incohherant and you cant understand it, I cant be sure I understand it myself, this is just how i am coping untill I see Truth

I like the paintings of Alex Grey, he hasnt rated a mention here yet and im actually rather surprised at that. It's probably a bit hard to classify his work as in essence it is phsycadelic but draws on many more traditional inspirations including i think some Tibetan styles. But then some of his paintings are art in their own right without precident in my opinion, have a look at the Journey of the Wounded Healer [url]http://www.alexgrey.com/a-gallery/jrny1.html.[/url] I think that what i like best about his art is the depth of the oils, the longer you gaze, not only do you see things that were hidden but you see things that arent actually there, just things that your mind creates out of the lines and colours. I would like to hear what you think of his work.