Decadence

[color=silver] I'm an outcast if you want to call me that, yes there are a few, and i mean a few cool preps, but not many. I went to a private school for 9 years, so that pretty much means i was around preps for 9 years, whats sad is a wouldnt doubt lava-lamp, as i have met a kid like him. Its sad when some one things they're better then people because of there clothes or the amount of money or amount of people that thought they were cool *cough*my whole class*cough* but my best friend is preppy, probly the only reason i still eevn bother to get to know preps who don't saturate the area with ego.[/color]

[color=silver] Nic got up and walked to the head of the class. He looked at the pain in these kids faces and the tears, a silent testiment to what they were going thoug. "I know you might not want to hear this, and its not going to make it any easier, but death is a part of life..." He let that hang in the air and sat back down, yes he felt bad for these kids, but they had to grow up, they had to learn these lessons, they were a part of life, the sooner they learned the better. He knew they probly now thought of him differently, the fact that he seemed cold and unsympathetic to them. But he knew what it was like to loose some one, though he had never told any one about that and no reason to tell a whole class. He had heard something breaking in another class again and almost laughed at the futility of it all. He heard one of the children break down and start crying, with out looking up he told the child and one of his friends to go get something to eat or drink and take the rest of the class off, he knew he was probly stepping out of bounds but he knew he probly wouldn't be questioned about it, this was a difficult time and gets being sent out of class was common.[/color]

[color=silver] Nic walked to class slowly, still tired, he heard the messege over the speakers. yawning he opened the class room door, he was supposed to take roll but didn't feel like rushing it so he took it kinda of slowly, still half asleep, he finished and sent the roll with very little time left. "Youl can talk until ms. Yotsuka comes in and when she does shut up or it will be my *** cuz I'm supposed to keep you guys quiet, and feel free to ask me any questions. Just remember I'm much nicer then she is, and if you get me in trouble I'm not going to let you guys talk, ever again." With that he put his feet up on the desk and wondered where Ms. Yotsuka was.[/color]

[color=silver] As I have not yet had a chance to see his film i can't say any thign about it. But on the point about us needing or not needing soldiers over there right now, I think we do, untill and only untill Iraq has a stable government. Also I do not agree with the war, and i have been saying that sense before it started, yes I know Saddam needed to be taken out of power, but it could have been based on that and that alone, Saddam useing chemical wepons on his own people I think is enough to justify removing him from power. While a do think he is a blood-thirsty nut case who shouldn't have trusted with Texas let alone America, he was none the less elected (Regretably). And while, as i said, do not agree with the war, I beleave we do need to stay in there untill Iraq can support it self, and we need to fund it for the first few years. ___ Sorry if that seemed confusing,Ii just wanted to state that before i had to go.[/color]

[color=silver]Name: Nic Johnson (false last name) Age: 16 DOB: January 14 Gender: Male Years: 1 Student Body: Club member Clubs: Art club -Club Position: member State: Freshman Fighting Style: Magic Persona: He is cold, every thing about him reflects this one trait. From the way he dresses, to his speech, to just about every thing, the only time he is truly open is when he is writing and even then most of it seems distant and dark. He is intelligent but is still recovering from some trauma so he doesn?t much care for school work though he does it well enough to seem a good student, he doesn?t work at it. Height/Weight: 5?6/153 Appearance: Black hair, dark brown, almost black eyes, most of his clothes are baggy and torn. Most of his wardrobe is black, remnants of what his friend could provide him (more on that in the biography). His skin is pale and he has a small tattoo of a cross, made out of roses, on the inside of his right forearm. The rest of his right forearm has scars on it from knife cuts, and down along each side of his rib cage there is a scar running along it. Relationships: The reason he is here is, Tiffany Johnson, his guardian for all intensive purposes could not provide for both of them any more, she is the reason for the tattoo and the tattered clothes. He is distant from almost all of the people in The Academy, except for teachers when he doesn?t have a choice on the matter. Biography: When his Grandfather died, his good for nothing Father left him and his mom had sent him to live with Tiffany though the government would not allow her to be his legal guardian, as she was only 17 at the time. (19 now) So Nic was sent to live with her and his mother killed herself two months later. Two years later she sent him to The Academy, telling him nothing of the test. _____ I?ll add more to the biography if it needs more, tell me if it does, I can?t tell I think it is pretty complete.[/color]

[color=silver] Ok, well here's something I'm writing for a friend (not finished yet.) Each day Each day the cuts get closer And I leave a little more I can?t feel any thing but what you?ve taken from me. So I say my good byes And take the knife with me Don?t you get it, you won You finally beat me. The knife slices though me The cold metal against my blood I get light headed and fall to the ground Just another memory for me to forget I fade away, just another face to you You never knew me Don?t think you ever did ________ Well it's no where near done but I just wanted some feedback on it so far. ________ another poem I felt like posting. Is this what it is to live? To feel pain, to feel fear? I see death again. It welcomes me back I hate my self. I want to die. I want to leave and never look back Forget me all I did was bring pain. Please forget me, I was useless I serve on purpose I should be dead. Please forgive me I failed again I am worthless Useless And hated Forget me I?ll be dead soon And you?ll forget my name. [/color]

[color=silver] Nashyl droped down from the tree's over the fence on the other side of the property, the hell hounds his master hap provided were causing enough damage and and noise to raise the dead causing the stronger hunters to go out and check what was going on, this should be a simple recon mission. He strolled though the house almost leisurely taking in as many details as he could. two hunters were walking down the hall and he had to dive into a side room. he heard the hunters talking as they passed. "hey man there are fel hounds out in the yard, we need to get down there." "damn your serious?" He heard them running down the hall and he slipped back out of the room heading for nights room. He couldn't find night's room. "what the hell" he said to him self "I'm supposed to get the gems and get out... might help if i knew where in hell his ####ing room was."[/color]

Ok this is the first banner I've made so i wanted to do something simple. I think it turned out quite well for having not messed with a banner in over a year. What do you people think?

[color=silver] She walked in to his room with out bothering to knock, as she opened the door nashyl jumped up "Hey what the... " he shut his mouth as soon as eh saw who it was, "damnit Tiffany you could still knock even if you don't have to." "I know, but then I'd miss you reacting like this" She smiled at him playfuly, almost wickedly. "And you know I couldn't do that." Nashyl just sighed annoied and layed back down trying to get back to sleep. "So Nashyl what happened? did ya get the kid? c'mon tell me." He rolled back over "wouldyou just let me go back to sleep?" "No, I know your leaving again as soon as you wake up." "Your not going to leave me alone till i tell you are you?" "Nope." "Fine..." He told her what had happened and when he was done she started talking again. "So nights after you?... You remember he gave me this." She turned around and pulled her shirt up showing him her back and the scar going across to her side. "Damn was that when I met you?" "Yes... I'll let you go to sleep now" _________________ He was walking down another alley the hell hounds were ahead of them, he was planing to use them as a distraction when he got there. He could see the house sprawling out and lit up. He despised this place, as he dispised hunters. He kept walking till he was just out side and hid in a house nerby waiting untill nightfall again.[/color]

[color=silver] He kept running, his lungs burned, his legs ached, and the smell of the sewer was saturating him, he felt like ditching the child but the wounds on his back were reminders that it was better to die then to fail his master, so he couldn't ditch the kid. He had found it, he had found the exit, thank god... or what ever passed for a god these days. He climed out of the sewer and headed down the alley way nearest to the sewer, he was about half way down the alley way when his cell phone went off. "yeah, i'm here" "yes, i got the child" "what more hunters are out... damnit" "where? yes yes i know where that is, I'll have the child there by morning" "alright, good bye and watch out my friend" He hung up his cell phone and put it away. damnit they just had to change the drop off point, but then hunters were out he could understand why. He walked out of the alley and pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, it was the only source of light on the street. The child was bruised and scraped in many places and he knew he would get questioning looks normaly but he was in the older part of town... the part society had all but forgotten, this is where he grew up and he was still remembered here, and still affored a certain amnount of respect. *~*~*~* She had been the one who trained Nashyl, and she loved him like a brother, yes love was rare here but he had saved her from hunters when he first met her, back when he was innocent, back when he thought she was innocent. Her mind drifted back to that night. Night had been chasing her and he had grabbed her and pulled her into an alley as they ran past, she had almost killed him then but she saw something special about him, he had accepted death as a part of life he wasn't afraid, he had pushed her into an apartment as night and another hunter came back and they ran past not giving him a second thought. She had taken him in after that, taken him to live with her, she was half-demon but he didn't know that at that point. She woke up. "Damnit Nashyl" she thought "get that kid here soon" ______ OOC: i hope that part of history is alright. If not i'll delete it.[/color]

Very good I liked it. Also I was wondering if you ment it to have like every other paragraph rhyme? The rhyming of the poem felt, um streached (the best way i can describe it) at some points but other then those few times it was quite good.

[color=silver] He was running though the sewers, half wondering why is master neededd these gems and the human child, but they were his orders and he would fallow them. He needed a rest, this child was heavy and he had been running a good bit of the night, he dropped the child on the side of the sewer above the water, the child was unconcious s he didn't have to worry about the child running. he paused to look at the gems for the first time sense he stole them. "amazing" he said "these are beautiful." He heard a splash echoing though the sewer. "Guess its time to start goin again" he thought to him self. with that he picked up the child and continued on his way. [/color]

[color=silver]Name: Nashyl Age: 23 Race: Human Bio: Abandoned as a child and forced to live on the street, he started praying for help, and in his desperation accepted help from a demon. This demon corrupted him and showed him the powers that he could attain if he worshipped demons. His lust for power was all consuming after the first glimpse of power this power. Weapon: 9mm pistol (unblessed) and a ritual knife (used only for his spells) Appearance: [url=http://www.game-loader.de/psycko-manga/grafix/gallery/guy2/Toshi17j.jpg]Click here[/url] add a black trench coat and a pentagram necklace Magic: Blood Fire Ritual- (requires blood from his own body) allows him to draw symbols, in blood, that if stepped on ignite. Dark Blood Illusions- allows him to create illusions drawn in his own blood. (Only one at a time)[/color]

poetry. lost love. Lost love, A broken heart. Her ghost beacons me, To depart. Dark haired, fair, Fallen angel. Turn me, Kill me. Leave me for dead. Sever my soul, And break my heart, Death awaits me, To depart. Fall from heaven, And scorch the earth. Your memory remains, In my heart. Cold winters moon, Constant reminder Of the peace that I can never find. Silver tongued lies, Bring me back to you. Only die again, In your uncaring arms. False memories, And lasting dreams, Horror and despair, That seems to, Fallow you.

Project Decadence. Mankind: Flawed perfection. The human paradox study. Chapter 1. [i]... And he fell from the sky, an angel with wings charred by lies, and he shed tears for the loss of paradise, but even hell refused him entry, so he bled his soul upon the earth, becoming the scourge, her acid tongued messenger, bringing fourth truth in guises of despair, so that some may see the darkest light. [/i] Greed, suffering, hatred, pain, and destruction all lead back to one thing, humans. Humans are a paradox; we would be much better off with out our selves, for all we do is destroy each other. Some are destroyed emotionally, others physically, and then others by there own hand. And when we are alive we are always working, and we never get to enjoy the fruit of our labors, for once we finish something we start on something else, we are never content with our current station, always striving for more. We tend to try to force our beliefs on others in the false hope that we are helping them, even though if we succeed we have just destroyed a part of them. And we are not content to die, and others are selfishly saddened by our deaths. They aren?t sad that we died, at least not a first, they are sad that they can?t be with us any more, ?we will miss you? ok and? My point here is that we never accept death of our selves or others, and if we do we seem callous and unfeeling. Yet how can one be callous and unfeeling if they aren?t being selfish in seeing that the person was in pain and now that they are dead they aren?t? How can you want some one to be alive in pain and still say that you love them? These feelings we feel tear our selves up. People say stuff with out realizing what it does to the person they are saying it to, even if it doesn?t seem to affect that person them, it makes them who they are later, every single this that happens in our life forms us, and yet the results are never complete until death. And yet despite all this we are still some how the most perfect creatures on this earth. Or are we a plague destroying our host? Changing it to our will? Our designs? How can we say a god exists when every thing we see is created or affect by our own hand? Yet in asking this I also hope that a god exists or else life is pointless, the constant striving for improvement reaps no rewards ever, we never stop trying to improve our selves and we don?t stop until we die or are to old to continue to, and by then all the work is for naught. Death is the finale release and some grant it to them selves when the pain of life becomes too much. Some people see them as weak but how can they be called weak when the ones calling them that never went though the same experiences they did? And even if they did they didn?t respond the same way. Even when they kill them selves the ones who caused it feel no remorse, so some take the ones who caused it along with them. They feel that they deserve death, for causing them all the pain that they did. And yet we call those people crazy and accuse the parents for not stopping them. And yet we place no blame upon the ones that caused it. How can we call our selves just and fair if we don?t bring all to justice who played a part in the act? Then we aren?t and justice must be taken into there own hands. When no one stops the murderers from killing when some one kills that person they are rewarded. But when some one kills the people who cause pain to others for enjoyment they are either killed or they kill them selves. Yet we still do not see the problems that plague us as long as we look at life though our own eyes, and feel no pain. Hell isn?t hot enough to burn from earth?s soul all the sins man has committed. There must be an alternative to heaven and hell, for god loves his children or so they say, and yet if we don?t believe in him or trust him we are sent to hell, even if we live by most of his tenants, live a better life then those who do, and then there are those who think that if they ?accept? him they are saved, that they can?t be sent to hell, if they are corrupted are they not sent to hell? If not how is that fair. How can some one who has lived life trying not to be cruel and not to hurt others be sent to suffer for all eternity, And then what about those who commit suicide does God not take pity on them? How could he not? He must have seen how their life was, was bad enough for them to seek death as an escape. But also it could be seen as a survival mechanism, the pain is to much if it was physical pain the person would be dead but this can?t kill them only take them to deaths door and hold them their, bring them to the point where they aren?t living any more only feeling pain. How is that fair? Yes I know life isn?t fair, but if God or karma exists what happens to those people who caused others to kill them selves. In columbine we saw what happened when anger and pain got mixed, revenge was taken for the pain that was caused to them. I am not saying they were right to do that, but the people who made fun of them deserved some thing, maybe not death but then maybe so, they caused those boys to kill them selves so why not an eye for an eye? Isn?t that only fair? Chapter 2. [i]? She fell from the sky, abandoned, she was caught by a mere child near death, so in return she saved him, he was her savior and she was his guardian angle, teaching and protecting him. And when she died her death was a part of him, part of him died that day, he was trying to recover his life and when she died he gave up letting the pain of the sickness take hold again and drag him back to the grave.[/i] There?s a point at which the both the body and the soul have been subject of so much pain they both stop feeling. That point comes after the point of contemplating suicide, it is acceptance and the person distances himself from every thing and everybody who used to matter to him, he can?t be hurt that way and he can observe others and feel happy for them when they are happy and feel sad for them when they are sad. Bringing these people back to what is considered ?normal? is almost impossible and quite likely to cause them to kill them selves when they feel pain again; there is a reason they have distanced them selves. Some do drugs to keep the pain at bay others just accept it and hide and others kill them selves after having survived it once. Why would you want to bring them back? Do you think your going to make them happy, by bringing them back into a world where they can feel pain again? You don?t think they feel it when they?re on drugs or when they?ve distanced them selves? So you bring them back and magnify the pain they?re trying to deal with, they?ll come back in due time. Chapter 3. [i]Liquid pain? Blood flows freely from the self-inflicted wounds, hate me for what I do to my self despise me for I am your self in the darker mirror. I am the apex of human pain, suffering past suffering, feeling past feeling, the loss of all emotions. The knife wounds on my arm are the only remnants of my former life. 19 scars are 19 clues to my life, the pain I?ve hidden. Forgive me my love I had to leave.[/i] You laugh when people say they want to die, you think it?s a joke till some one shows you what they?ve done to them selves. And then you think they are pathetic weak. The ones who cut to try to ease the pain they feel on the inside, the ones who do drugs to forget it, the ones who bury it deep with in them selves and it seeps out little by little, in there demeanor, in there actions and writing. You find them weird but they know more then you. You seem to think being normal is good, but what is normal except being the same as every one else. And that breeds weakness, your weakness becomes the group?s weakness and your limited strength becomes the groups limited strength. And you hate those that are different, why? You have no reason except for thee fact that they are different. Chapter 4. [i]Blinded from the pain, of days remembered, of days buried deep with in ones self. Ones who have forgotten how to dream, and just remember the pain burned into souls. The darkness that encompasses my eyes keeping me from seeing all that I have lost. [/i] Some dates hold special meaning to people. Some events and some songs too. They may bring back memories of pain and despair. And others of happiness. How can you judge ones reaction to something when you do not know what has caused it? How can you tell then to snap out of despair or to calm down when they are happy over a seemingly trivial thing? You may think they are over reacting when in fact the thing holds such a special meaning to them and them alone they may not be reacting at all? How can you judge one on actions and words when emotions and thoughts guide them? __________________________________________________________ [color=silver]There is more I just don't have it on this computer so i will update it later. I'd like to know what you people think of this.[/color]

1. Dimmu Borgir 2. Bob Marley 3. Disturbed 4. Slipknot 5. AFI

song done for band. Seventh star of hell This vamperic fantasy flows threw my blood All this death is a sweet ecstasy. I am a demon who fell a god, Before the fall of man hath risen. Death awakens me from its sweet embrace. From this chaos I was born This blood, a sweet poison I drink to be free Take me from this life Splatter me across the five walls And the seven suns For all the hell of man hath killed me. I am the seventh star among hell A prince among the damned Brimstone runs though my veins Taking pleasure in my pain. This darkness encompasses me Taking me from life. From this chaos I was born This blood, a sweet poison I drink to be free Take me from this life Splatter me across the five walls And the seven suns For all the hell of man hath killed me.

Hypocrites dream This goddless wanderer is more then you he knows himself before the truth you have faith in an Illusion of death that comes to those who wait he knows to live he must act in the name of himself not for that false god who had not a hand in this world but only in our minds so he lives to the best he can for himself and those he loves not for some deity whos a god in the minds of men.

[color=silver] The beast tears from my soul, my hands red with blood. the blood pools around your body as the beast evours my sould. i become the incarnation of darkness. souls feed the darkness fear and betrayal. secrets and lies. I am the incarnation of darkness. You fall to the floor the and darkness envelops me. your last sight is of me insane face. twisted in glee and agony. I laugh as you die smile as you take your last breath. i am the darkness the pain washes out of, the pain you caused with your words and thoughts. so your life ends to better mine, it is only fair as you were the one who tought me that concept. [/color]

[color=silver] He lapsed back into calling her TIffa. he was the only one who could call her whitley and not have her get a little annoied at. She knew once he started calling her that again, he was getting depressed again, she saw it twice already, she pulled him out of it once but the other time, she was the one who rushed him to the emergency room. She cried, she loved him, but those kids, those heartless kids tore him up. Used him and threw him away, he didn't deserve it, he was nice to every one to the point where they used him. she wraped her arms around him holding him tighter not wanting him to ever leave, he was asleep and peaceful the few times where he wasn't hurting. He had stop confiding in her like he used to she knew something was going to happen but didnt know when, last time it was 6 months after the first sings he was stuborn when it came to life and death, three of his family members died with in two years of each other. ~*~*~ She knew he had a phycietrist appointment to day, but he wouldn't tell her any thing, he had told her that he didn't trust the psychietrist, he thought she would tell his parents, and he didn't want to burden his parents. He truely thought he was worthless and that no one cared about him when she first met him. She was starting to wonder what was bothering him now. SHe waited for him to come over. ~*~*~ She ansered the dor only to see him standing there looking like he had been crying. She knew he rarely cried like that, there was a difference between phsyical pain and emotinal, she wondered what the hell the psychietrist brought up to hurt him like that. She hugged him and dragged him inside saying it was alright. It hurt her to see him like he was when people used him, she hurt about half of the people who used him, because they deserved that kind of pain, but he asked her to stop. HE actuly asked her to stop hurting those who hurt him, and they went back to hurting him, it hurt her, they actuly hurt him even after he asked her not to hurt them. They had no respect for him, she was surprised he hadn't shot one of them yet. ~*~*~ She could hear him crying quietly on the floor, he spelt on the floor because he cried he didn't want to keep her awake. He cared about others more then himself, even those who hurt him. She thought back to the time three years ago when she thought most guys where horrible then she met him, why was it the guys who were actuly good the ones with the worst lives and they ones who were "popular" horrible? she couldnt figure it out, his life was a living hell but he never blamed the people who made fun of him. she feel asleep with tears on her cheek.[/color]

[color=silver]The room was dark and a lone figure was standing in it, the last thing he had just yelled were still echoing as the disembodied voice spoke. "Matt why not? Just end it, it would be so painless, so simple, no thought to it." "No!" he screamed you could see the tears streaming down his face. "No I won't... please just get away from me" Somebody walked out of the darkness over to Matt placing a hand on his cheek. He knocked it off and pushed her away lightly. "Please Whitley." he said, it was now obvious that he was crying "just.... please get away from me, I don't want you to see me like this..." his voice trailing off, his soft sobs loud in the silence. "Do it Matt. Just kill your self and end your pain." This was to much for him, he could deal with the voice, but not with this girl, he started to cry. *~~*~~* Matt woke up in a cold sweat with tears dry on his skin. He got ready quickly and left with out eating breakfast or saying good bye to his parents. He arrived at school just as the first bell was ringing, he headed to class thankful that he wouldn't have to face Whitley. He didn't see her until the end of the day. "Matt" she asked wrapping her arms around his waist "why have you been avoiding me?" "I... wasn't" he said shrugging her off she was a little shocked but noticed it looked like he hadn't slept. "Matt you've been having nightmares again haven?t you?" "No." he said trying to walk away she grabbed him as she said "Matt I know you have don't try to lie to me, c'mon I'll give you a ride home since you missed your bus." "fine" he sighed "but I don't wanna go home" she looked over at him and saw how sad he looked "Matt, really what?s wrong?" she still hadn't started the car. "I'll tell you but not right now, can we please go over to your house, I don't wanna talk to my parents right now." "ok... but you are going to tell me what?s wrong" she started the car and headed for her house, she kept looking over at him, worried about him. *~~*~~* She sat down next to him on the couch "Matt please tell me what?s wrong" Matt described the nightmares and how they were getting worse and told her about the one last night. At the end she just about tackled him pulling him into a kiss "Matt you know I love you" She kissed him again "you know I'd never want you to kill your self"[/color] ____________________________________ I might write more later. If any one even bothers to read this.

[color=silver]fallen dreams and black sun darkened eyes and a shartered release stringing words together to express the sarrow the pain the night and day brings a torrent of red flashes across a pale blue sky blood spilt and death released from the pain ive felt the hate youve embued in me the feelings i resent the people telling me to repent these sins ive commited to keep my self alive love is nothing a dream a whisp of smoke intangible cant hold on to it the pain it leaves in its wake why fall for it i dont and never will my heart is ice and smoke black and blue like a festering bruise nothing matters any more.[/color]

[color=silver]the sun breaks though the clouds a blue sky shows though im bound to this land but just though you these people mean nothing to me just faces in the wind but your body rests here so i will stay my truest friend my oldest friend your death was un fair to you and me god took you to soon to be why god, why i only knew him for eight years those eight years were my happiest but you snatched him from me and took a part of my soul you darkend my heart and made me cold the warmth gone from my eyes as i saw death to soon it took him from me i hope this is a dream and one day i would wake up but alass its not so i keep draging my self around im already half dead the pain of missing you residing in my head i never got to say good bye you were my truest friend but you had to die i miss you so hurts to live long to join you but that would not be fair to my other friends so ill stay on this earth missing you every moment longing for the time when we can be together again.[/color] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[color=silver] well I?m back again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ untitled self mutilation. these pink scars newly healed blood flows from untended wounds sickly yellow patches of skin reminiscent of bruises from fists of those who care not knifes peel back the layers of skin allowing the blood to flow free the pain resides in me never leaving dark shadows hang under my eyes from the lack of sleep caused by you my body shakes in pain longing to be away from my self the one who cuts the skin anew these un-healing scars never to go away the pain lingers in my mind reminding me of you the last I saw of you the last I heard from you the pain takes me puts me to sleep and wakes me up this pain is my life but this life is far from tragic. its partial bliss broken dreams and half told truths unfeeling skin that holds my soul this life is far from bliss it is suffering to live but a mistake to die young.[/color]

[b]OOC[/b]i will post later... i dont wanna screw up any thing with the class schedual and all. so if any one could just put slytherin into they're class (dont remember if they did that first year) or just an opening for me to post at lunch or something it would be very appercietve. [b]this will be deleated after my first post.[/b]