Decadence

um.... right, sure what ever you want it to mean. i write to write not to convay a point. so as ive said before your guess is as good as mine. i write basicly what im feeling at that time. just wanted to clear that up.

[color=silver]silver roots rip though my body but you scorn me for surviveing the pain you put me though i [i]hate[/i] you but you care not you keep draging me back to you but i want to get away i run and run only to be tripped by you i... you.... darkness pain hate shadows bliss death i... i don't know whats going on you seem to have just killed me but im still alive i am confused never leaving this darkness again i guess so stay away from me get away i [I]HATE[/i] you get going away from me stay away please please just leave me alone[/color]

colors swirl before my eyes is this death? is this bliss? no its a dream an escape from reality you dont know me no one does so why do you care the real me would scare you you would say im crazy and put me away but i wouldnt care it would get me away from you would you still visit me? i dont care i dont hate you but i dont love any one any more so leave me be and get away from me.

Name: Matt shindrek Age: 15 Fraternity: Corvus Rank: cleric (soldier if i can't be cleric) Ability: healing Personal Description: as a human he wears a black shirt. black jeens, and black shoes. he has red eyes (contacts, normaly black), and dyed red hair. He also has pale skin. true form: see attachment. Bio: He was made fun of as a kid so he became reclusive. He stayed away from people. He started to despise people in general. He acts normal in school and around his parents but he realy hates most people he has a few friends but even they don't realy know him.

[color=silver]Silver pain falls in sheets like rain Like the strom rains down blood trying to drown me in sarrow i swim in the blood swim away from you you care that im running away but only because thats one less person for you to torture so i leave i hope your happy youve just about killed me you have killed everything that made me a kid i have felt to muvch pain to still be called that so why do you insist on calling me that i live in my mind alone away from you all away from the pain[/color]

[color=silver]They say jump! i jump they say run! i run they say die! i leave they say im worthless i beleave they say im hopless i beleave they say im crazy i agree they sayim good at some thing i thing they're lieing they praise me i dont beleave them no one can care about me it has to be a lie so i leave i leave the praise that i miss the people telling me im worth some thing i leave that behind because it must be a lie they cant care because every one else said they didn't so why should they...[/color]

that is great... i wish i could draw half as well as that..... but yea that is great. yea what else can i say? its just great.

[color=silver]"Weren?t you supposed to kill him" Deagon said, not expecting an answer. Once she drew her sword away he calmed down a little bit, weighing his chances of getting out of this alive. They didn't seem too good right now. "Dark take it" he said under his breath. He knew he wasn't going to make it out of this alive. He started to back up slowly watching the other drow out of the corner of his eye. He backed right into a wall. He drew his dagger slowly hoping they wouldn't notice. If they wanted him dead they were going to have to work for it he wasn't going to lay down and die. Not to them, not to the race that had made is life a living hell. He almost resented his father for being drow. But he hated full blood?s he didn't know even more. Mostly because they were what he was trying to escape. He may have been able to take one but there was no way he was going to be able to take two at once.[/color]

there was a nylon string around it and after the stunt they had a disclaimer saying no animals were hurt in the stunt. i only watched the first two things. the hand shake man was sorta funny. funny out of the stupidity of it. it originated in the u.k.? i swear i heard some japanese in the back round when mister hand skae man was talking like they dubed it badly.

[color=silver]He woke up slowy. He ended up running back to that bar he forgot the name but remembered where it was. He walked in slowly. He saw them both walk down. "you've got to be kidding me" he said under his breath as he saw two drow walk down the steps. He went and sat down at the bar and ordered some more fire wine. He watched them out of the cornor of his eye. They were both wearing their armor. "they arn't going to make it easy for me are they?" he said slightly louder then he ment to. the tender looked at him but he looked down at his wine and the tender walked by. He placed his placed his hand on his sword just in case they saw him, which right now he hoped they didn't. He drank his wine and got out of there as fast as posible hopeing to sny god who would listen that they didn't see him, because for some reason he got the feeling that they new he was there.[/color]

[color=silver]You people leave me alone don't you know I'm crazy from the pain the waking hell you people put me though im tired off being mister almost perfect mist doesn't do any thing wrong you people have broken me one of these days im going to get you back but not now not until im ready to die never, then so you have no reason to worry so worry not i wont be the one to end your life so it doesnt truely matter what i want to you i am nothing nothing but some one to take up the time when your board i try to be nice to every one but you people must make fun of me i did nothing to deserve it except get mad when you did did you find it funny? if you did then you are sick what happens when you break some one doing that? they turn the table but its not emotinal its phsyical they break you with guns and knives they end you to end there own torment but you never thing about that you think its funny its not and it wont be when you break the person then you get what you deserve but the law says that the ones who judged you wernt fit so they end there own lives you think of it as a murder what about them when they do that it means you have killed them you killed their innocents and pureity but you only care about their physical body in the terms of murder so they defend them selves but with death because you dont listen to their please for you to stop you care not and then you get shot you get what you deserved and i wont shed a tear over you.[/color]

[color=silver]Dark stared night pain is hightend nothingingness bliss dispair anti hate played agian and again masks that hide what we truely are you people all wear masks are you scared to show your true selves? the monstares that you release on the people who dont where masks yes i beleave you are scared... you where masked mask the pain that you think justifys your torment of others but you never think about what your doing to the [i]others[/i] you never see the handi work of your torment and when you do its when your stairing down the barrel of a gun held by them the ones that you break they eather kill them selves or you they arnt depressed actuly they are normal well as normal as you would be after being tormented like that not deserving that you laugh at them you are shallow you think you are the greatest but you are nothing you arn't worth the air you breath or the space you take up but it is not my place to judge those who must be judged i wish it was but you are lucky it is not so get away from me before i end your life instead of mine.[/color]

[color=silver]death has past me by. left me in its wake a shattered crystal which was once my heart now cuts me from the inside pain wells up inside be but i swallow it back down it matters not im useless why do i even keep liveing no one cares she's gone she didn't even care no one does pointless i am pointless worthless hopeless pathetic no one cares so i care not any more i should end this but im scared of the unknown i have been ripped up so when i die no one will cry or care no flowers just shallow unmarked grave so i should just end it but im stuborn so i dont good bye you dont care so i dont know why im even saying good bye good bye[/color]

occ: sorry about that. i'm getting really tired didn't mean to godmod.... im so ashamed of my self. LoL. seriously i didn't mean to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ he ordered up another fire wine drank it and left. he had waisted to much time already, he had more work to do the drow could wait. he left not paying. he walked out of the tavern/inn out into the night. He walked to a building and banged on the door impatiently. Xion: ahh Deagon good to see you again i had wondered wear you had been. Deagon: ill tell you tomarow. is my room still here? Xion: of coarse. Deagon: same place? Xion: yes. with that Deagon walked to a back room and laid down and quickly feel asleep.

night falls as people die. fire burns in the darkened sky hate breed as the fire grows my anger fuels the light the fire burns me i am reborn anew out of the pain and spite death and lies become my friends they protect me keep me alive blo0od stained ground is the trail i leave pain taking steps the paths that i weave golden darkness and painfull light holy sins and unholy lies end this false life and wake up to this desguise.

Deagon walked up to the bar. Deagon: firewine please. Tender: sure thing hun. Deagon: thank you miss. she handed him the fire wine, he drank it, it burned going down but is had been awhile since he had any so it hit him harder then normal. he sat down at a table and waited for his target. he sat there and set up some old contacts, he needed them he had been awhile for a few years. Half of his contacts had been killed. he leaned back in the chair and waited for a drow to come down.

pain is gone replaced by an utter lack of any thing i have become unfeeling for the time being it is truely a good feeling right now nothing waying down on my mind i dont care about any thing any more let it fall where it will its no big deal no consiquence to me nothing matters to me any more my past pain forgoten the future pain gone and the present pain gone so i leave the pain behind and go away.

OCC: sorry friend came over two days ago havn't had much time on comp. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deagon walked in to the room boots clacking loudly. "ahh, it is truely good to be home" he said hands resting easily on his sword and dagger. he walked out the front of the tavern to the streets and waited. he had been hired by a drow of underdark. one's name who he had seemed to remember from something. he was hired to kill an assassin after she had completed her job. one of his informents ran up to him on the street. "hello ariet. what do you have for me?" he asked with a slight smile on his face. "well sir" ariet said seeming like a little kid "rindrizt has been gaining power in the guild." "no, no have you seen any [i]other[/i] drow around here?" "ahh, yes sir, yezzir" ariet said laughing a little "yes i have at the cats cradle in" "thank you" said deagon handing the shild a fw gold coins. he walked over there the air leaveing a slight shill on his skin as he walked in.

uh.... that was coherent? i could hardly understand it my self. o_O edit with next poem.

death creeps up on me nightmares silver stained blood pain hate spilt paint coloring everything red nothing breaks nothings fixed the camera angle shows nightmares gold colored lies a sweet demise death comes longingly away empty handed red paint covers my eyes making me see the world in blood stains so I spit up even more blood having been shot in the back haunted houses broken record tracks that skip jump and see people break others stay alive only to hate the spectrum of colors pass my eyes incoherence starts to take over words spew out of me solid form liquid venom you get to see the real me the one whose view on life is all screwed up pain seeps out of him destroying his disguise only to be fixed by a false love silver colored lies red colored pain black colored death circus clowns bounce around faces painted to hide them selves run around scared of the lies hidden beneath the pain white bight sun burns into my soul wrecking me destroying me tearing me apart.

Deagon had been riding all night. The horse was starting to tire but he needed to make it to the next town by daybreak. hiw white hair was flowing full out his skin color shown clearly but he didnt care. most people knew his last name eather by his or his fathers reputation. he left the horse at the first farm gate he saw and continued on foot. he reached the town in the early hours of dawn. "who might you be" the he saw the mans skin color and said "Drow, leave this place ye foul elf." "Trin`del" deagon spat with that one simple name the mans face drained of color the gaurd scrambled to get the gate up waking up the other centery. excitedly the guard said "help me get this gate open..." "NOW!" he yelled when the other man didn't move "whos out there?" the second one asked yawning "tri... tr... trin`del" the first one said trying to get the gate open, at that name the second one jumped up and they got the gate open. Deagon walked in to the town. "ahh its good to be home" he said with a sigh he walked to the back entrence of a tavern and knocked and was let in.

title: apocalyptic earth Apocalyptic dawn the earth rises again without man thus there is no sin pain and death have been erased purity now is full but no one lives in this pure world because they all were tainted this place is now desolate and consumed by nothing the words of the last echo forever in this empty world apocalyptic sun earth and moon night and day pain suffering strife be gone with those who bring it wipe the slate clean end it all pain return to bliss and bliss is good but despite how pure this place is it is tainted tainted with the blood of man spilt to be pure spilt by no one now.

Name: deagon Trin`del Race: dran (half drow/half human) Age: 27 Class: assassin Weapon: short sword and a dagger. enchanted short sword from his father imbued with Drow magic. a jeweled dagger given to him by the one who taught him to be an assassin. both made of mithril. Personality: cool, calm, calculating, very rarely rash. (Isn't that the normal personality for an assassin?) Description: White hair. Blackish skin (Not as dark as Drow?s because he's half human) taller then the average Drow because of his human blood. he has purplish eyes. Bio: he was persecuted his whole child hood for being half Drow. he has his own set of morals- he may be an assassin but he doesn't kill the innocent and doesn't love blood shed like most of his full Drow brethren. he only kills those who he sees deserve it. so he only takes certain missions. His alignment is neutral.

sadness... hurt by the loss of a person who never cared. pain... these feelings betray me. depression... darkness encompasses me. passion... a crimson fire burn though the night. why... why do I keep living? hate... you hate me for no reason. stained... these blood stained hands aren?t mine. I've hurt no one purposely. loneliness... away from people. away from life suffering... constant pain wrought by emotions. end... end this all. End of the darkness and the light.

i try to sleep the pain away the pain that seems to be inside me but i wake up to it. its there constantly but i never let it show a lie on my lips and face at all time this pain is for me to bare alone so i hide it deep with in me trying to cover it up with lies but when it breakes through it breaks me so i hide i hide in the dreams that never come a kid crying at night over what seems like nothing but his memorys are tearing at him he crys him self to sleep to escape them but they haunt his dreams but the pain leaves when he thinks about the good times he had so he trys to escape by replaying memorys but yet he still crys at night.