Raiha

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Bad news, I really do have a full black pvc oufit. More bad news, I prefer red lipstick to other gothic colors, but I don't have black hair. I do however have very nice whips. GET OUT OF MY HEAD![/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Two days after I had woken up as Evrada, handmaiden of Warrior Elite Neil, I'd found myself sitting on the battlements of Neil's extensive compound, meditating. Over the course of the past few hours, I'd found the power I'd been missing. Unlike the fire magic I'd been reaching out for, it had changed into far more specified ki manipulation and psychic ability. I found myself persuading the guards to do handstands, by mere afterthought and occasionally floating backwards down the hallway, trusting that my ability was able to predict any obstacles about to appear. Oima appeared bland and innocuous but cheerful altogether. She, as my second in command for the servants, tended to do all of the chores that did not involve direct contact with the nobler born or move along the servants who did such menial tasks. As of yet I'd only seen Vicky from a distance, as a beautiful and powerful Saiya-jin Elite in her own right, moving busily across a street with her daughter toddling along after her cheerfully. It wasn't until the third day that I met more familiar faces, not that they knew me any more than Neil did. An audience with Neil was sought and gained by an elite named Gavin. Apparently Neil did a lot of entertaining, and I was in high demand for anticipating every guest's need. I wondered why I was more psychic on planet Vegeta than I was on Earth. The bell rang to summon me and I walked down the long staircase to Neil's study, then stood behind his desk, with my fingers laced behind my back. He looked up from his work.[/i] "Evrada." "Yes Master?" "Later today Elite Gavin will be joining us in the main room. Please present yourself as best you can." "May I inquire as to why?" "I'm seeking a favor from him, and I've found over the years that he responds best to beautiful faces far more than mere bribery." "Wouldn't using my beauty to gain your objectives be bribery?" [i]Neil gave me a wicked sort of smile, showing off the fangs I knew he'd had sharpened recently.[/i] "I prefer to think of it as misdirection." "Of course." [i]Feeling amused in spite of myself I bowed gracefully, and drifted up back to my room. Kneeling on the futon that Oima's maids had turned and aired daily, I changed out of my normal wrap dress into a black, form fitting blouse and flowing skirt, one that hid my tail as well as my legs, but hinted at them whenever I moved. Brushing back my hair, which had turned purple recently, I braided the strands, turned then under themselves, and then put on the jewelry Neil had bought for me some time ago. Silver in the ears, a hammered chain of the same around my waist, and a single hammered bracelet around my left wrist, a reminder of slavery and an echo of the circular brand in my forehead. Oima called me, and I immediately went back down the stairs, headed straight for the main rooms, carrying the trays she'd handed off to me. Neil was standing at the window, with Gavin next to him. On a large cushion, the girl I remembered as Crystia was curled up and napping in a patch of sunlight. A golden collar was glistening, partially obscured by her silver and black pelt. She looked up at my approach and sniffed the air, looking more than just a little feral. Then she yawned hugely, showing off her fangs and bright pink tongue, and went back down to nap. Apparently she was a gift to Neil. How ornamental. Gavin turned as I set down the trays of food and began pouring the drinks.[/i] "Thank you Evrada. Please bring drinks for our guest. And possibly something for the little feral thing." "As you wish." [i]Leaving the room I could feel Gavin's eyes following me, fascinated and amused all at once. Perhaps Neil's ruse was more obvious than anticipated, but I could feel his mind stretching and reaching out for mine.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Kuro Lolita on a bridge, and in a Japanese Memorial Garden with my boyfriend photographing.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Standing in his arms, curling my bare toes against the back of his calve muscles, I felt like I was floating away. Korey smelled like sweet cigarettes, old aftershave, and a little blood from where he'd scraped his knuckles. I inhaled slowly, then heavily exhaled, hearing the click of Carlotta's nails on the hardwood floors Mrs. Young had had Eros and Carol installed last month. She nuzzled my hip, tall dog that she was and I looked down at her, reluctantly pulling away. She held a note in her mouth and I took it from her. Opening it, I read aloud. [/i] "Final score: Carol, wins by 500 dollars. Eros lost mostly everything. Mrs. Young, lost by 25. Yeesh." "Why is Mrs. Young so good at poker?" "...her son was an inveterate gambler. In between losing really badly and making a fortune he actually learned some tricks and tips. She's possibly one of the best bluffers in the world." "Awesome." [i]I abruptly turned back towards the den where Mrs. Young was busily rolling herself a joint and Carol was gleefully stacking the chips. Eros was sourly pouring everyone a round of drinks and the dogs were busily crunching the food I knew he'd been obliged to shovel out for them. Carol looked up at our approach.[/i] "Burritos will be done any second. You like tequila right?" "I hate tequila." [i]Korey looked at me like I'd just told him I thought puppies were evil.[/i] "Why don't you like tequila? What's wrong with you?" "I had a bad experience." [i]Actually that wasn't true. What was true was the sad fact that combining my part Chinese blood with Jennifer's full Chinese blood gave me an Asian glow that turned me into a firetruck. After two shots, I wasn't exactly toasted, but I was doing my best impersonation of a lobster when my color took a nosedive from a normal creamy yellow to full on sunburn. It was humiliating. And tequila made the glow come faster than virtually every other alcoholic beverage out there except for possibly Everclear. Which we weren't drinking anyway. Carol preferred to save the over 60 proof alcohol for Molotov cocktails. She liked cocktails. I sighed and poured myself a rather benign beer instead, liberally spritzing it with a freshly sliced lime. Eros leaned over, passing Korey a shot glass and a salt shaker.[/i] "What Grace isn't saying is that after one of these babies, she turns into a Christmas tree." "Screw you Eros." "Any time babydoll. You know it'd be goodtimes for you." "Hurk." [i]I drank the beer instead, focusing on the bitter, not so tasty sensations washing over my tongue.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

[quote name='Nerdsy'][color=deeppink]Moore is considerably better if you ease into him. His stories are pretty boring... in Watchmen, for example, it takes so damn long for anything interesting to happen. I'd recommend waiting for a while before tackling anything by Moore.[/color][/QUOTE] [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Oh tush, the Watchmen is a wonderful cavalcade of magic and literary references to obscure things you might not get unless you have wikipedia at your right hand a dictionary at your left. I recommend it regardless so you seem like a cool and seasoned member of the comic book reading society. But I still recommend Sin City series, because to be honest they are the most interesting non PG rated comics out there. Plus there's the whole Tarantino style handling of time. It'll knock your knickers.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[RIGHT][IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest%202/Macey_Ellen.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest%202/Victoria_Ann.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest%202/Harrison_Almagest.jpg[/IMG][/RIGHT] [LEFT][FONT="Times New Roman"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][i]Carefully maneuvering a plate of candied almonds and plums next to a freshly drizzled black and white chocolate covered strawberry, Macey Ellen found herself cornered by Victoria Ann, fresh from the chocolate fondue table. She was holding a skewer of fruit, doused liberally in both dark and milk chocolate, and looking thrilled.[/i] "Auntie Macey! Wasn't the ceremony just [i]gorgeous[/i]!" "Of course darling, it was simply divine. Everything was perfect, no thanks to some of the staff." "I heard Dame Grimalkin calling one a summbit. What's a summbit?" [i]Macey's face contorted slightly while she considered all the ways she could explain Victoria's imperfect remembrance of a rather nasty word when Harrison appeared holding a glass of milk and looking rather put out.[/i] "Hello Harrison. I trust you're not having a horrible time." "Could be worse. Hey Aunt Macey. Hi Victoria." [i]He sighed glumly and leaned against a stone pillar twined around with garlands of exotic jasmine and honeysuckle. Macey snatched up a handful of olive crackers and handed them around to her niece and nephew, noting his doleful expression. [/i] "What is it Harrison? Sour milk?" "No. I was just looking around and I figure you'd know. Isn't there any real food here? Everything is all sugar spun and tasteless and battered in oil." "It's a [b]wedding[/b] reception Harrison. Insubstantial food is the name of the game." "Strawberries are real food!" [i]Victoria brandished her skewer at him dramatically as he took a bite of cracker smeared in cream and olives mournfully. Macey grinned at him and sipped at her glass of ice water cheerfully. Surveying the crowd she could see one of Vincent's more poisoned looking female siblings giving her a sour look, possibly because she was happily mingling with the children while they drank from crystal flutes of champagne and focused on caring only for themselves. She knelt at Victoria's behest and let her put a fresh honeysuckle bloom in the elegant knot of hair piled on top of her head.[/i] "There! Now you'll smell like flowers all afternoon." "Thank you Victoria." [i]She nodded her head gravely and let her walk straight back to the fondue table, where she began to chatter brightly to one of the extremely well dressed ladies. Harrison looked through the crowd and drank his milk, waiting in vain for one of the servants to pass holding a tray of something that looked, well, solid.[/i][/COLOR][/FONT][/LEFT]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Humming "Secret Agent Man" under his breath, Gavin quietly jiggled the lock to the Vice President of Aruba's door, carefully inserting his credit card in the lock. It stuck. Cursing now in Gaelic, he kicked the door down instead, and burst into the room, gun drawn. Menacing a very frightened set of chartreuse curtains, Gavin thumped down behind the computer desk and inserted his zip drive into the USB port. Downloading all of the information his bosses at the I.S.S. wanted, he finished everything up, wiped down his fingerprints, and headed out the door, noticing that his enthusiastic boot to the jam, had completely ruined the hinges and broken the lock entirely. Shrugging in a rather nonchalant way, Gavin headed for the exit and was just putting his hand on the door when it was yanked open and he found himself staring into his long time rival's face. Andrew grinned and cocked back the hammer of his own rather undersized PPK. The two had a long staredown, which ended when Gavin sneezed and Andrew accidentally shot his right pinky finger off in response.[/i] "Jesus freewheeling Christ you bloody moron! You shot my hand!" "You sneezed! It startled me!" "People sneeze you know! Incompetent little twit! I can't believe they passed you at M.I--" [i]Staunching the torrential flow of blood, Gavin grimaced and rocked back and forth on his heels, while Andrew proffered his yellow and pink embroidered handkerchief. Keeping up a steady stream of verbal insults, and preoccupied with his now missing digit, Gavin didn't notice when Andrew quietly reached into his coat pocket and removed the zip drive full of information. Feigning concern, he patted Gavin on the back in a rather vague manner, and then left, leaving Gavin clutching his now numb hand, wondering if he could convince his partner back in Cork, to shoot Andrew in the head the next time he was off on a dangerous mission overseas. It wasn't until he was safely in his car, that he realized that after Andrew had ungraciously shot off his finger, he'd also nipped the zip drive he'd worked so not...hard at all.... to steal. Sighing aloud, he properly bandaged his hand this time, put in a call to headquarters, and then began the boring and arduous task of tracking down his fellow secret agent. As he drove slowly through the crowded streets of Aruba, he thought of all the horrible things he'd be doing to Andrew once he found him and his hand was working properly again. Two days later, he found Andrew on the tarmac of the private municipal airport. The zip drive was visible in his hand, and his other was full of the briefcase he was about to put on the small Cessna nearby. Full of righteous and not altogether unwarranted rage, Gavin strode across the walkway and without a single word of warning, marched straight up to Andrew, grabbed him by the shoulder, whirled him around and punched him in the face hard enough to break a nose. The sound of cartilage being forcibly removed from it's proper position filled the air, and Gavin snatched up the zip drive from Andrew's hand. Putting it firmly in his pants, he knocked Andrew on the head once more for good measure with his still working hand, and was about to continue pummeling Andrew when the Cessna exploded in an enormous fiery ball of plane bits and excess luggage. [/i] "And that's the story of how I cleverly outwitted Agent Andrew from Wales and secured the information necessary for Ireland to complete it's mission." "Oh Gavin darling, you're so daring." [i]His girlfriend leaned against his arm and stroked his four fingered hand, giggling and cooing. At the same time, in a bar not far from Cardiff's main airport...[/i] "And that's the story of how I cleverly outwitted Agent Gavin from Ireland and saved the information necessary for Wales's intelligence operation to succeed." "Bollocks." [i]Muttered the cynical and jaded prostitute sipping a pint of bitter next to him.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Clearly more alcohol is necessary. That way heated debates might catch flame. Hooray for fondue! .....there should be a chocolate fondue at the reception. It'd be genius.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][CENTER][FONT="Times New Roman"]My boyfriend the psychological masters degree holder says that there's a cool and exciting reason that Coraline's alternate universe involves buttons where the eyes are. Unfortunately he can't remember what it is. But it's bugging me.[/FONT][/CENTER][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]I'm not sure which Bible you are referring to here and exactly how you think it's applicable, but I have to tell you. There is no book of Ishmael in the Bible. Sorry. There's a character NAMED Ishmael in the Bible but he didn't get a book named after him.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]*clears throat* So Darren's character has never been to a weeding before? Sweet![/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Well, as far as everyone on the Archard side of the family universally hating Macey Ellen, I can safely say that everyone's loathing for her is a bit annoying considering that if it were their sister's wedding, they'd want everything to be perfect. But I'm sure it's just me. Oh yes, and to Nathan: Vincent and Macey's marriage wasn't originally because they loved each other but to forge a business merger/political alliance between the two families. So in essence, neither had very much choice in the matter.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[quote name='Estranged']The only people that say things would change right away is his biggest detractors. Every single person that i know who voted for him knew that things would not change right away. People like Rush Limbaugh and what not however made up lies saying they thought he would, though.[/QUOTE] [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Hold your horses dear. Rush Limbaugh did not make up lies saying he would make changes right away. Unless you have a direct quote that you can show us from a reliable source, such as the transcripts of his show, you have no right to claim such a thing. And also, Rush is being quoted entirely out of context. He doesn't want Obama to succeed because, like me, we believe that it would mean principles and ideas that we don't believe in have succeeded. So before you jump on the 'let's take everyone that disagrees with Obama out of context' bandwagon, be careful.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]I don't personally hope he'll fail, but on the other hand I think people misunderstand the ones [like me] who don't embrace everything Obama wants to do. Sure I support our president because I know that it's bad form to undermine the commander in chief, but I have no idea why everyone is so massively enormously in love with him. He hasn't DONE anything yet. He's gotten himself elected, but let's face it. Blagojevich [wow I spelled that right the first time] and Nixon got themselves elected too. Sure I disagree with like 98% of his policies, but I'd like to be able to stand behind the choices he makes. Granted thus far I've been wildly disappointed. That 'stimulus' package is a nice recipe for amazing amounts of debt.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Hooray, things are off to a flying [haha I'm so witty] start. Now as long as there's no horrible drama, I'm sure it'll all be perfectly lovely.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[RIGHT][IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest%202/Macey_Ellen.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest/fauntleroy-chronicle.jpg[/IMG][/RIGHT] [LEFT][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Having properly berated the unfortunate rube who mistook daffodils for merely yellow amaryllis, Macey Ellen Almagest had left her elder sister in the capable hands of her maidservants, who were at the moment most likely setting the pins in the heavy veil that Macey had altered slightly to move of it's own volition, as if in it's own private wind. Meanwhile, being tended by her own maidservants, Macey was bracing herself between the frames of the dressing room door, holding her breath in while she was being laced into a lilac and silver jacquard corset, ringed with lace and silk, guaranteed for a disaster if there was rain. In the mirror, she saw her recalcitrant brother appearing, and he gave her a wicked smile, while holding up the chased silver flask that Macey had forgotten to relieve him of. She sighed and cast her eyes heavenward as if to beg the gods she didn't believe in for a brief respite. Then, as her maidservants withdrew and pronounced her complete, she fastened the clasp of a crystal teardrop pendant at her neck and turned, fixing him with a rather distant frown. [/i] "Did you have to bring along your beloved bottle?" "Alas my darling sister, without it I am lost!" "And they're worried I'll be the one making a scene. Hah!" [i]Fonty draped himself across the chaise lounge that Macey had been hoping to sit down on herself, and assumed the very picture of a bereaved elegant gothic aristocrat. Macey pressed a cream and white handkerchief into the waistband of her skirt and settled for the other chair sitting across from the lounge. As she did, Fonty leaned forward sprightly and offered her the flask.[/i] "Little flavor? Take the edge off?" "Don't mind if I do." [i]Throwing caution to the winds, Macey took a swig and passed it back, twisting her mouth just slightly as the taste of lighter fluid washed over her tongue.[/i] "So are you going to make an enormous scene this time with one of those Archard women?" "This time?! Last time there was a scene I recall it was my darling twin who bathed my ex husband's shirt with champagne." "Oh... That's true isn't it? Well that's alright. Father just asked me to ask you to please keep your temper in check." [i]Macey adjusted a comb in her hair and gave him an airy smile and flick of the hand.[/i] "I'm assisting Beatriste as one of her maids of honor, I'm going to be busy killing the next oaf who ruins a perfectly good flower arrangement. I won't have time to lose my temper with any noble. Although I suppose if one accidentally was tipped off the balcony that could be blamed on excessive drinking or something drea-" "Oh Macey. You wouldn't!" "You're right." [i]Macey flashed him a wicked look, which somehow was even more eerie now that she was no longer perpetually dressing herself in black. Fonty stood as if by accident, and took her arm, the two leaving the dressing room to go out on the main deck. Macey gathered the sheaf of flowers waiting on the corner table for her and gave a nod to the other girls who were lined up in similar dresses, holding perfectly matched bouquets, no thanks to the morons in charge of the flowers.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR][/LEFT]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Eriju and Vicky's ship landed, or so I'm guessing, because as soon as they came rushing through the door, they did so without giving me a chance to reset the wards to allow them entrance. And as they leaped across the threshold of our house, I screamed out a warning while flinging up an arm to shield Kiwi in my arms from the backlash that would most certainly blind all of us.[/i] "Take the wards down! They're coming!" [i]Neil was in the middle of turning back to stare at the form of Vicky both running in our direction and firing off a barrage of fiery ki at an unseen enemy. Billy and Gavin both were standing on the roof, watching as Eriju shielded Vicky as best she could while also protecting herself. But too late, Eriju's shield and mine collided, and the wards exploded in an enormous cataclysm of light, pain, and sound. In my arms Kiwi shrieked in pain and began to glow silver and gold. I nearly dropped her as the light seared under my closed eyelids, forcing them open as I watched Vicky fling herself at me, covering Kiwi with her body. Sevara and Crystia both howled aloud, eardrums bleeding from the concussive force of incompatible magic and ki shredding against each other. Then everything turned into rushy net of white and I felt myself float away. [/i] ...... .......... "Evrada!" [i]I blinked once. Twice. I was staring at a ceiling that wasn't my own. White plaster. And that name. Evrada. It was mine. I sat up and looked down. Black clothing, not my own either. And a tail. I never had a tail.[/i] "Evrada wake up! The master craves his breakfast!" [i]I stood up from the futon that I'd been resting on and walked towards the door. It opened at my approach and I saw a woman I knew by the name Oima standing there, tray in hand. I took it from her automatically and let my feet take me where they knew to go. Soon I was walking across a crowded hallway, where servants rushed back and forth with trays of their own, and then up a set of stairs, the last of which creaked slightly. Again, the doors opened for me, which was just as good, because the tray was very heavy. Neil stood at a wide window, staring out across the courtyard I knew was in his view. He was wearing battle armor, a cloak, and his tail wasn't hidden in the least. Instead it was curling and twitching on its own, and he regarded me with an impersonal smile.[/i] "Thank you Evrada. You may go." "Yes. Master." [i]I set down the tray and turned, leaving immediately, wondering why I'd called him master. Neil. Not Master. Not Blank. But my tongue called him master and I thought he was exactly who he was supposed to be. A noble. A lord of war. And I was a servant. As I walked back through the hall I reached experimentally for my power, staring down at my right hand while I did it. No automatic surge of fire came. No tattoos glared bright red on my skin. But when I looked in the mirror, my eyes were still the blank white pupiless masses they'd always been. Immediately I went to the nearest window and threw it open, looking up at a cloudy, overcast yellow sky. Planet Vegeta.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Otakumobile! Bike! Versatile! God you poor soul. I could feel sorry for you if you didn't employ someone who consistently destroyed your property.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Well see Vicky, some of us actually included our real photos in our avatars... Korey and Gavin being two such people. ...Phwarharharharhar.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]I think he's hilarious. In a way, the country needs an idiot like this. He's just so self assured of his own invincibility, that it's adorable. I just want to pinch his cheeks. But on the other hand it's kind of sad to see EVERYONE, even people guilty of the same sins, trying to throw him under the [not undeserved] bus. Why do you think they call it the "Chicago Way?" I mean everyone in that government is as corrupt as, if not more than, him and yet everyone's just simply [i]outraged[/i]. But yes, at last, someone's being hung in the public who is in fact not a Republican. It's so refreshing. And he's doing everything by the Clinton handbook. NEVER. EVER. Offer to resign. Never back down. Never give up. Never surrender. He's doing it so well.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[quote name='Boo'][size=1]Now I feel bad for being the only [b]No[/b] vote so far. :([/size][/QUOTE] [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]But then Raiha appeared in a shimmery glow of fiery evil light to add her voice to the [size=5]NO[/size] category. Hugs will inevitably end up the same thing as stars, hearts, cuddles, skulls and crossbones, kudos, props, you name some arbitrary noun here. A rep system is another popularity contest wherein people tell other people they either love their pants off or think they're a complete moron and should go drown in their own vomit.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Things got off to a flying start the first week of my new school semester in my Creative Writing class wherein the professor sadly informed us that the department chair is making us doing an 'evaluative assignment'. We're supposed to write 250-500 words about ourselves and make 'interesting things' happen. The professor told us that he didn't really mind if we completely phoned it in, because he thought it was stupid too. So here's my small contribution to the cause. And after you've read my poem, it'd be super if you wrote one of your own. Has to be about yourself, 250-500 words, and also has to avoid long sweeping metaphors, rhymes, and cliches.[/FONT][/COLOR] [center]******[/center] [size=3][FONT="System"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]I am standing between two trees made of leather. One is pink and black and spread upwards in twelve braided branches. Another is a single line, stretching upwards out of view. I love to talk about myself because everyone else is positively dull. Underneath me is the warm body of my lieutenant boyfriend. He smells like Old Spice and expensive hair gel because he’s into manscaping. We sleep together even though we’re not married. I’m sure my parson father would disapprove, even fly into a rage if he found out. He ministers to the local church that stands across the street from a low class sex shop. People sneak into the store at night, during the day they can just pretend that they’re going to the Mexican restaurant next door. They think they have to hide, but I don’t blame them much. I prefer to shop online to furnish my sick fetishes. I love writing things that make people’s heart rate go up. It’s fun to bait and switch the liberal professors who think they’re on a divine mission from God to brainwash young students. She tells them it’s their duty. Sometimes I fantasize about being in a class with a conservative professor instead, just to shake things up. But most of the time my hopes end up cruelly dashed, and I have to figure out if the professor actually has a sense of humor about politics or if he’s an insufferable bore. Either way I can’t help loving it. Every Sunday I go to church and sing with the worship team. The songs bounce effortlessly through my throat, and I’m learning to send my voice higher without letting it crack and snap back down. Sometimes people ask me how I can balance algolagnia with abject worship of Jesus Christ. I tell them that unlike my politics, my religion is none of their bloody business. Most of the time they get the message. But sometimes they’re one of those angry screaming atheists who want to foist their anti-God on the rest of us. Surprisingly, most of those atheists aren’t actual atheists at all, but are just pissed that God actually didn’t give them cake and candies. They still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. When I was seven, my dad told me that Santa Claus died out back in the 60s of a massive myocardial infarction. When I was ten my mom served jugged hare on Easter Sunday. I used to look for the man in the moon when I was little, but as I grew up I figured that he might have just retired. So if I have a religion now, it’s probably unrecognizable from the religion that my father administers to the masses. Not that I mind much. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s people who tell others they’re going to hell. And by the way. Go to hell. [/COLOR][/FONT][/size]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]A friend pressured me into going to their myspace page for a listen. And I'll confess I never did it. .....I should. Just so I can agree with you better.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="times new roman"]It's totally not a spoiler. Everyone knows because if you saw the first two there's inevitable and painful flashbacks to her DYING. In a blaze of fire. Speaking of which there was a hysterical sex scene that will make you laugh if you're at least a warm blooded human. "Look ma no hands!" There's a fighting scene that once again makes vampires look like pussies. "Look ma no head!" Sonja's eye color changes arbitrarily for no reason we can tell. Get used to it. And I can safely say that this was the weakest of the three. That being said, see it anyway because the sheer laugh factor at un funny moments makes it totally worth it.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR="darkorchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]I believe the Death Penalty is an important fixture of the justice system both as a means of repaying a debt incurred by the taking of human life as well as a matter of discouraging crime. Whether you agree with me or not is all gravy, I'll just quietly consider you to be less than mentally capable. Life without parole isn't really something that I like to put forth as an alternative to capital punishment as most of these sorts spend their time in relatively cushy cells with access to enormous libraries, HBO, and food that is quite edible. I'd prefer it if they lived out their days in women's underwear [if they're men], get punched in the mouth on an hourly schedule, and waterboarded every two hours just in case the punching isn't enough. Then it'd also be quite nice if they could endure some form of intense psychological distress, such as listening to the Beastie Boys. But on the other hand, it may be just simpler to lead them out back and shoot them.[/FONT][/COLOR]