Shy

[size=1]I feel that the focus in Raiha's poem is misplaced. Though it used the desert as the setting, I was hoping to see more description about the locale and less about the love story. Overall I thought it was a strong effort, so I'm just nitpicking here. Conversely, Rach's poem did not stray far enough from the topic to hold my interest. While he did an excellent job of describing the desert, I felt no emotional connection with the lifeless and barren place he described. I appreciated the contract in Raiha's poem between the dead desert and her passionate love. I vote for [b]Raiha[/b]. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]I'm trying to be objective here, but Mom used 'Dixieland' in her poem and I absolutely love that. Touches like that really add personality to a poem (or any writing, really) and instantly draw me in as a reader. So for that single solitary reason I choose [b]Mom[/b]. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]I like [b]Treble's[/b]. I find it strange that both poems' first lines are so similar, and that kind of bothers me. I think 8bit should have made an effort to change his opening line, even if the rest of the poem is totally different. 8Bit's tells a good story, but like a lot of the poems here it seems to be trying too hard. I think a more subtle approach could have been used to tell the came story in a more effect way. Treble's poem was simple, and probably deceptively so. I approve. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]I live in a part of the country where we don't really have seasons. It was nearly 100 degrees yesterday, and during the winter most people wear shorts around town. For that reason it's difficult for me to connect to Indy's poem, even though she had some very strong imagery. To me the seasons are all about traditions and memories, so for that reason I'll be voting for [b]Sunfall[/b]. Indy's poem was better from a technical standpoint, but it didn't present the unique viewpoint that is required for writing about an ultra-generic subject matter. -Shy[/size]

[size=1][b]Allamorph[/b] This was a difficult choice for me, because there are parts of both poems that I really enjoyed. I feel that Gavin's opening line is a better start, even though I didn't connect with the approach he took. A lot of people tend to write about the chaos of a city, but ironically I think it's the uncompromising [i]order[/i] within a metropolis that draws me to them. Allamorph's view, looking at the evening calm of a city, was graceful. I didn't care for his second stanza (although I thought the formatting was nifty, if not a little unneccessary.) Overall I liked his poem the most, so he gets my vote. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]I vote for [b]Aaryanna[/b]. As others have pointed out, I felt like Aby's poem was attempting to cover too much ground. Aaryanna's poem was much more simple, but overall I felt that it was the stronger of the two. Asa word of warning to Aaryanna, lines like "They’ll be there tomorrow, in that I trust." are awkward from a grammatical standpoint. That sort of thing can pull the reader out of the poem, so to speak. Try to be careful about that in the future, but I thought you did a good job. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]Perhaps we could do it like Across the Universe, or Mamma Mia! We could select a series of [i]real[/i] songs from a single artist (or various ones, but they would need to share something in common) and juxtapose it with a story. My immediate recommendation is the work of Michael Jackson. No, I'm serious. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]I have also had this thought, or at least a similar one. I'd love to do something featuring music or poetry is some meaningful way. Basically it would be a 'norma'l RPG, except the characters would spontaneously burst into song every now and again. So yeah, I love this idea. Maybe we could start coming up with some basic story ideas and flesh this out a bit more? -Shy[/size]

[size=1]My post was supposed to end the day, but since James posted I am in the uncomfortable position of needing to post again before the day officially ends. I should have that up over the weekend. I'll try to explain some of the details of the new government in my post (and in The Chronicle,) but the transition from Divine Right of the King to a Constitutional Monarchy will be a gradual one. Everything might not change overnight, but eventually it will. I imagine more than anything else the people of Czenovia will be very optimistic about the change, although obviously some resentment towards the King still exists. But that story is for another day, I suppose. -Shy[/size]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE="1"]One small thing Josh, in your post you mention the Underdog fleet retreating after the battle, in my post preceeding it though, the Underdog fleet is completely destroyed by the 1st Fleet to bring the battle to a close. Given the Underdog tactics during the battle, more specifically their attempted and successful suicide runs, I'm thinking it makes sense the 1st Fleet wouldn't let any of them escape alive. On a side note, cool to see Primas is indeed cut from a different cloth to his father.[/SIZE][/QUOTE][size=1]That's fine. I'll edit that bit in my post right now. I know that 1st Fleet had a clear victory, but I wasn't sure whether or not every single Underdog ship was destroyed or not. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]Okay! Big changes are in store for Czenovia as King Primas works to create a [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitutional_monarchy][b]constitutional monarchy[/b][/url] that takes into account the needs of all of its' citizens. The fighting is over, thankfully. There will be a Chronicle up in the next few days to describe the workings of the government itself, but if your final post is not dependent on that information you can post whenever you'd like. If someone could put the title up for the chapter when they post that would be great. The chapter's title is '[b]Farewell[/b].' Thanks again. -Shy[/size]

[center][img]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest/primas-avatar.jpg[/img] [img]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest/ladybavariaavatar.jpg[/img] [img]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest/morphiaavatar.jpg[/img][/center] [size=1][indent]King Primas, his advisors, and guests were ushered underground long before the bombs began to burst over High Czenoble. Although he had been advised the contrary, the new Dynast King was wary of the threat that the Underdog force presented. With thoughts of Augustine’s murder still fresh in his mind, Primas had little interest in being proven wrong, or betrayed, once again. Given the state of the dungeon following the Underdog’s attack, it seemed ironic that the Dynast Family would turn to their own jail for safety. Several servants had brought in colorful lanterns and food to try and lighten to mood underground, but no amount of decorations could mask the quiet tension that was building. Most of the small crowd sat in uncomfortable silence, while others spoke softly, their conversations frequently interrupted by the heated battle taking place overhead. Morphia sat huddled with a small group of palace servants and invited guests from the coronation. Although many of them were openly weeping, the young woman maintained her composure. With the sound of each bomb exploding overhead her concern for her brother and Henry continued to grow. However, Morphia would not allow herself a moment of weakness. Her own worry and emotions were nothing, she thought, compared to the tremendous pain she imagined that her king must have felt. Only a single cell remain undamaged from the fire and explosions, and it was now being used to hold Prince August. Primas had not so much as bothered to acknowledge his brother’s actions, nor did anyone. Instead the prince sat in the corner, his shackled hands still stained red with the blood of his sibling. August’s final fate had yet to be decided upon by the king -- now more than ever the needs of Czenovia’s citizens outweighed his own personal crisis. Lady Bavaria sat at Primas’ side. She was noticeably shaken by the day’s events, but could not begin to imagine the pressure that her king felt. The two shared a brief glance, and Primas placed his hand firmly onto her own. “[b]What can I do?[/b]” he whispered. There was a pause. Bavaria turned towards Primas, “[b]What do you mean?[/b]” “[b]I should be above ground, commanding my personal airship during the firefight. Instead we have treated underground in fear…[/b]” “[b]Daedalus is one of the most capable Airship Generals the armada has ever seen; surely he can resolve the situation.[/b]” Suddenly the ground began to shake wildly, as the sound of a large crash echoed throughout the entire palace. Startled, Lady Bavaria clutched onto Primas tightly. “[b]That one was nearby![/b]” one of the guards called out, “[b]The battle must be drawing closer.[/b]” “[b]We have to get out of here,[/b]” cried one of the servants, “[b]The palace could collapse![/b]” “[b]Please, please![/b]” Agron Deacon pleaded, “[b]Everyone must remain calm. We have no reason to believe that General Daedalus has failed.[/b]” Another moment passed, and another loud crash shook the walls of the cavern. “[b]We have to evacuate![/b]” screamed a young guard. “[b]You will do no such thing![/b]“ Agron Deacon commanded, his hands trembling, “[b]Everyone please try to remain calm.[/b]” “[b]You can’t be serious, father,[/b]” Morphia replied incredulously as she rose to her feet, “[b]It sounds as if the battle is taking place right over our heads.[/b]” “[b]We will not abandon the Mirror Palace during a time of war. We [I]cannot[/I].[/b]” Bavaria shook her head, “[b]No. My sister is right. It is foolish to risk our lives for an outdated sense of honor.[/b]” “[b]It is the only thing we have left,[/b] Agron said coldly, “[b]If you are to leave the Mirror Palace you must be prepared to flee all of Czenovia.[/b]” Primas watched the argument closely, unsure of how to react. He slowly came to his feet, and placed his hand firmly onto Agron’s shoulder. “[b]I have lost so much in hardly two days‘ time. Perhaps it is time we leave, old friend.[/b] “[b]Your highness, please…[/b]” “[b]Even the strongest of us can only take so much…[/b]” One of the sentries entered the dungeon from the palace above. His face was covered in thick black soot, and a wide grin. “[b]VICTORY, my lord! Victory![/b]” “[b]Are you certain?[/b]” “[b]We have received word that the Underdog air forces have been eradicated by the 1st Fleet. The battle is won.[/b]” Bavaria clasped her hands together, “[b]Oh thank heavens.[/b]” Primas motioned for his guests as he climbed up the stairway, “[b]Come everyone. We are to give General Daedalus and our brave soldiers a hero’s welcome![/b]” King Primas opened the doorway to his palace, and was immediately taken back by the sight in front of him. The polished silver floors were covered in thick dust, as several windows had been shattered from the impact of the explosions, allowing dirt to settle in. Several statues had fallen to the ground in the chaos, now shattered. Lady Bavaria followed closely behind the king, quietly trying to gauge his demeanor. “[b]The damages are minor, Primas. You can always rebuild...[/b]” “[b]It is not that, my dear. I have spent a lifetime aspiring to reach the throne, yet now I find the palace in shambles. Your father wants a strong and resolute leader, but would it not only strengthen the cause of the revolution to kill countless hundreds more with further strikes?[/b]” Bavaria nodded, “[b]There are other options available to you, Primas, but for now try to savor the victory of the day...[/b]” Bavaria turned around to face one of the palace’s glass walls. Many of the small glass tiles were shattered, or covered with dust. However, there were more than enough openings for her to have a clear view of the palace grounds, and of High Czenoble. She collapsed to her knees, Primas immediately rushing to her side, now noticing the burning skyline as well. “[b]What has happened here?![/b]” he said, “[b]Guards! Someone explain to me at once![/b]” “[b]Losses were heavy, your highness. But the Underdog force has been defeated.[/b]” Primas’ eyes began to fill with tears as he watched the cloud of smoke rise of the capital. He fell to the ground, holding Bavaria tightly. “[b]This is not a victory…[/b]” he whispered, “[b]This is madness.[/b]” Agron Deacon, his eyes filling with tears, approached the two, "[b]Rise, my lord. There is still much work to be done. Rebuilding the dynasty will be the greatest challenge this nation has ever faced.[/b]" "[b]No.[/b]" Primas thought of his dear sister, and the countless others who had died in service to the throne. For the first time since he had become king, his next decision seemed perfectly clear. "[b]Find me the Underdogs, Deacon, and tell them that their king is ready to negotiate. This revolution ends now.[/b]" [/size][/indent]

[size=1]It would have been really easy to discontinue myOtaku in launching Worlds (which is undoubtedly a superior blogging platform,) but Adam was considerate enough not to. theOtaku is a very large site with a huge amount of content; although some of the features are limited right now, I imagine things will be firing on all cylinders again soon. I'd try my best to be patient with the site. I have been actively visitng theOtaku for nearly a decade now, and Adam has always made a great effort to keep up with the concerns and interests of his visitors. However, Adam only rarely visits OB. Have you considered sending him these concerns directly through an e-mail or PM? -Shy[/size]

[size=1]If nobody else has anything they'd like to add to the day, I'll be done with my post sometime during the weekend. That should wrap up the day and then allow the players to do their final posts. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]That's fine, I'm really in no hurry to move things along. I just wasn't sure who, if anyone, was planning on posting still in the 'day.' *eats a cookie* -Shy[/size]

[size=1]When everyone is done with the air battle (if we aren't already) I'm going to be posting to wrap up the day. I'd like to ask that all of the players hold their final posts until I can get that in, but if there is still more to be posted with the battle that's fine. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]I actually really, really like this song. Next time I see Des online I'm bugging him for the MP3. And the dancing anime characters are amusing. I want a new OB skin featuring them. Now. -Shy[/size]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE="1"]I actually can't wait to see Leonhart's reaction to what his son has done in his absence, even though we don't know exactly what Fontleroy did, I'm sure it can't be anything good from Leonhart's perspective. Though I suppose his being alive would invalidate the children's inheritance of the company, and thus anything Fontleroy might have done.[/SIZE][/QUOTE][size=1]Yeah, those two won't exactly be getting along. Although Fonty never had a chance to give the company away, thanks to Victoria Ann running into the tunnels, I doubt it's going to be much of a heartfelt reunion. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]When I read the name 'Lolita' I think of the objectification of young women, and a loss of innocence... but when Japanese people see the name they probably think it sounds 'kawaii' and put it on their backpacks. That's the Japanese for you. The Gothic Lolita thing seems to be a fashion movement that has (to say the least) some strong hints of fetish in it. I'm not saying that the clothes themselves are innapropriate, but all fashion needs to be viewed in a cultural context, as opposed to a vacuum. One of my best friends used to pin a 'cat tail' to her pants to be playful, but when she posted pics of herself with the tail online she suddenly received a lot of unwanted advances from 'furries.' Needless to say, she still loves cats, but was quick to take those photos down. -Shy[/size]

[center][size=1]Bulldog Patty White and fatty Barking at my computer Jealous of my love? Trouble[/center] -Shy[/size]

[size=1]I'm kind of toying around with a post now, but I'd honestly rather save it for the end of the 'day.' Great posts, as always. It's amazing how quiet things get sometimes, heh. -Shy[/size]

[quote name='Odin M Yggdrasi']That still sounds like a pretty good prank in any case. I wonder if they will do anything like it in the near future.[/QUOTE][size=1]I highly doubt it, given Charles' recent disappearance, and the enormous headache it was to run in the first place. Of course, if you've been around OB as long as I have you know that anything is possible, given enough time. Hm. -Shy[/size]

[size=1][strike]Daedalus needs to be the one to destroy the cannon. That's something I cannot stress enough.[/strike] Beyond that, it was a great post, Sandy. I love Gadget's ending, and it's extremely fitting for the character I think. Very tragic, very beautiful. -Shy [b]Edit[/b]: Actually, I think we can work with this. I don't think you don't have to change anything, Sandy.[/size]

[size=1]Yeah, the Underdogs probably only have a handful of military airships at their disposal. The majority of their fleet would be private airships refitted with weaponry, and also, pirate vessels. Since the battle itself will be taking place over Mount Grail the Czenovian forcewill be at a disadvantage; every shot they fire could potentially destroy the city below. -Shy[/size]

[size=1]There's nothing wrong with a little foreshadowing. I'm sorry, I couldn't justify the entire group going in and rescuing Leonhart. Gadget is clearly the only one capable of doing anything, so I tried to humanize him a bit as he bravely decides to go it alone. There are actually a lot of parallels between Fonty and Gadget that we simply never got a chance to explore. He's an interesting character to write once you find the right angle to approach him from. And we're eagerly awaiting the air battle to start. Gavin told me that he'll be giving it his full attention, so look forward to that over the weekend. Oh and the 'final day' does not have to literally be a single day. If you want to set your final post a week, or a month, or whatever, after the story ends that's fine. If/when we do a sequel it will probably be taking place after a significant time jump in the story, at least a year. -Shy[/size]