Dagger

Thanks to Bittorrent, I just watched the first episode of Naruto (although I already knew the basics of its characters and plot). I was slightly underwhelmed, especially considering all the wonderful things I've heard about this show; OB is chock-full of Naruto fans. I can already draw comparisons between Naruto and Inuyasha. In my opinion, Naruto outclasses Inuyasha in certain aspects (particularly animation), but for the most part, they're on approximately the same level. Three main factors detracted from my enjoyment of the first episode: 1. Music. Naruto's opening and ending songs could at best be described as mediocre. The battle theme, which has a nice, strong beat, works fairly well, but most of the other background music just flops--especially the stuff they play during dramatic scenes. It stands out too much and does nothing to enhance the overall atmosphere. 2. Visual effects. Some of these were innovative and worked well (for example, the use of manga-style drawings and screentone during flashbacks); others (like laying a character's partially transparent face over a different scene) are overdone and somewhat cliched. 3. Melodrama. About half of the first episode consists mainly of over-the-top humour, including nosebleeds and super-deformation. Then it switches straight to a textbook tale of childhood angst and suffering. After all the slapstick, this isn't nearly as effective or touching as it could have been. And several characters end up dissolving in tears--since I wasn't given a chance to grow attached to any of them, I actually found it mildly amusing. But don't get me wrong. I've only watched the first episode, and Naruto definitely does show some promise. I really did like the episode's ending, when Naruto used his new skill to terrorize the bad guy. So I suppose I'll try to continue following this show, although it's not something that I'd spend money on if it were released in North America. ~Dagger~

Absolutely beautiful. Why hasn't anyone commented on this? Your banner is colorful, attractive and eye-catching. Sure, it's simple--but simplicity can be a virtue. I really love the soft, faded border, and the fact that your font both suits the image perfectly and complements its color scheme. Even if you're still learning how to do this (as your comments seem to indicate), the banner looks very clean and professional; upon first seeing it, I was sure that it had been created by a very experienced banner-maker. All of my comments also apply to the matching avatar. ~Dagger~

I shall attempt to spread the word via myO. So far, I've only seen one other high-quality humorous RPG around OB, and this seems to be much more tongue-in-cheek (in other words--different, but equally good). I'm surprised that there haven't been more sign-ups. ~Dagger~

Hmm. I don't like this banner as much as some of your others (the one in your signature is really quite fantastic). Pros: 1. A high-quality stock image. 2. Clean, attractive cropping. Cons: 1. The banner looks both underexposed and oddly tinted; I've seen that picture of Mamimi before, and I personally prefer its original color scheme. 2. The text stands out a bit too much. Remove the bright purple haze, and try using a more attractive, dynamic font. 3. There's no border...... this is easily remedied. Overall, it's a good effort, and I can tell that you were trying to do something that differed stylistically from your usual work. This is, of course, commendable, and I'd recommend that you retain this penchant for innovation as you go on to create new banners. ~Dagger~

I just got the fourth DVD, and I can't wait to see the rest of the show. RahXephon's animation, plot, and characterization continue to excel--it outshines nearly every other series I've ever watched. Although I don't quite understand [spoiler]how Haruka knew Ayato before Tokyo Jupiter was created and his memories were erased[/spoiler], I assume that more hints will eventually be dropped. I'm going to have a lot of fun figuring everything out. ~Dagger~

Before you start talking about "the hatred bandwagon," keep in mind that the vast majority of Inuyasha [i]fans[/i] might easily be classified as bandwagon-jumpers. Also, I can guarantee you that the series' fans will always outweigh its detractors. Anyway, I've watched every episode of Inuyasha that Adult Swim has aired to date. I own the first five DVDs, and I've read several volumes of the manga. So I suppose that I meet the requirements you've laid out, and am therefore qualified to pass judgment upon Inuyasha. I enjoy the show, but it's not exactly a classic, and I don't plan to continue spending money on either it or the manga. It's marketed as a sort of action-adventure/comedy/romance hybrid; in my opinion, its attempts to be a good example of every genre result in it being a mediocre example of all of them. Inuyasha's action follows the usual Yu Yu Hakusho formula (his character can even be compared to Yusuke's, but that's another story), and its animation does nothing to set it apart. Its comedy relies almost entirely upon a number of running jokes which rapidly lose their freshness, and thus become rather annoying. The show's romantic aspects are generally touching and well-done, but its love story tends to take a back seat to its many drawn-out battles. ~Dagger~

Since I'm not well-versed in the nuances of web design, you may not want to take my comments too seriously. But I thought that this thread deserved a reply, so here they are. ^_^ This entire image is sharp, pretty, and aesthetically pleasing. It's fairly well-balanced, although I would prefer for the forum text to be darker and/or more eye-catching. The header's vibrant colors basically overwhelm the pale gray fonts found below "Otakuboards Information Center" and "Otaku Lounge." Speaking of which, I [i]love[/i] the header. Besides being cute and upbeat, it really seems to welcome the viewer. I especially like the phrase "Living the Dream." It somehow fits perfectly with the overall mood, although I can't quite explain why. The abundance of pink, though attractive at first, could run the risk of becoming a bit tiresome. So I suppose that's something to watch out for. ~Dagger~

I read Eragon fairly recently, and it was less than impressive. After all the hype, I was expecting some amazing work of literature, one that would revolutionize the world of fantasy. What did I find? Yet ANOTHER cliched Tolkien/Star Wars rip-off. The writing was decent, but I honestly think that the only reason this book got so much attention was because of its author's age. I thought that the characters were fairly one-dimensional, and although I liked its plot well enough, it simply didn't strike me as being very credible. Eragon is supposed to be fifteen, for heaven's sake. All of his incredible swordsmanship and various glorious feats would have been far more believeable if he were at least nineteen or twenty. Can't any fantasy writers talk about something other than evil empires, beautiful elves, and axe-wielding dwarves? Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but that doesn't make it particularly exciting or enjoyable to read. Okay, I'm being rather harsh. Eragon is a decent book, and Christopher Paolini is certainly a promising writer, but I expected it to be a whole lot more than just decent. ~Dagger~

I would have edited my previous post, but I couldn't attach a picture to it. Thanks for saving me a spot; I hope this is okay. [b]Name:[/b] Lavie Silvana [b]Gender:[/b] Female [b]Age:[/b] 22 [b]Job:[/b] Manages the used-books section of an antiques shop [b]Height:[/b] 5' 5" [b]Birthdate:[/b] September [b]Birthplace:[/b] Sector 7 [b]Specialities:[/b] Smart and highly observant, Lavie makes an excellent strategist, and possesses a great talent for talking herself out of sticky situations. She is also something of a budding linguist, and has managed to familiarize herself with the basics of numerous languages, both ancient and modern. [b]Appearance:[/b] See attachment. Though Lavie looks like the typical absent-minded bookworm, she is actually a surprisingly tough young woman. She smiles readily and has not a single streak of self-consciousness. Beneath her glasses and modest clothing, she is a pretty (and very large-chested) young woman. [b]Personality:[/b] Though she's quite intelligent and loves learning above all else, Lavie is in no way an introvert. Outspoken, friendly, and talkative, she has a vast circle of acquaintences. Despite the fact that she's energetic and shows a great deal of enthusiasm for her work, she prides herself on being a realist--there's little room for optimism in the slums. Lavie despises thieves and has developed all sorts of insanely elaborate schemes designed to prevent them from plundering her beloved bookshelves. They're usually interested in the shop's more obviously valuable items (such as old jewelry), but she's a bit paranoid about her books, regardless of the fact that they aren't technically hers. Lavie has no patience with wishy-washy people. She makes decisions quickly and always stands by her personal code of honor. She rarely grows truly angry. Lavie greatly enjoys teaching others--whether it's explaining her personal theories about various works of literature or showing someone how to fry an egg, she'll be happy to pontificate about the subject at hand. She also excells at card games and chess; fans of such games often stop by her section of the shop for a quick match. Thus far, she hasn't lost a single one. She carries no weapons other than a small pocket knife, although she has been known to smash thugs over the head with anything from an umbrella to a wok (still filled with stir-fry). Overall, her personality might be described as likeable and gregarious, albeit undeniably eccentric. ~Dagger~

My musical taste is very broad--I enjoy everything from bubblegum pop to Chopin to Broadway show tunes. I grew up listening mainly to classical and jazz, although I didn't develop an interest in opera until much more recently. Oddly enough, despite the fact that my dad plays jazz piano, I never really came to have more than a cursory appreciation of the genre. All the same, it's nice to hear him come home from work and spend a little time improvising at the keyboard before joining the rest of us for dinner. He can play almost any song after hearing it a few times; after hearing a recent Linkin Park single, he promptly sat down and spontaneously created a stunning piano arrangement of its melody. Nowadays, I listen mostly to rock and musical soundtracks (my favorites are [i]Into The Woods[/i] and [i]The Scarlet Pimpernel[/i]). But my interests are constantly changing, and it's always great to discover a new band or type of music. ~Dagger~

Other than the abrupt break between the green and yellow, this banner is really incredible. It's simply so well balanced and blended; every detail adds something to the greater whole. Your use of abstract imagery really captures the essence of music, and the banner has a certain dynamic quality that makes it much more interesting than the average static image. My main complaint is that the break between colors, although nicely centered, interrupts the movement of the eyes and detracts from the lovely, flowing sort of effect that can be found everywhere else. ~Dagger~

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by terra [/i] [B](I know some people like that whole excitement of rule-breaking or whatever ...).[/B][/QUOTE] Haha, that was definitely the case with one of my previous boyfriends. It almost seemed as though he had been [i]trying[/i] to get us caught. I don't see why taking risks is supposed to be such a turn-on; I just end up getting nervous and distracted from..... er, the business at hand. ^_^;; My first kiss was with the aforementioned ex-boyfriend. He basically shoved his tongue down my throat, and that was that. Not terribly exciting--but from what I've heard, few first kisses are particularly romantic. ~Dagger~

Arcadia, you are my hero....ine. Without you, I wouldn't be able to keep any of my threads alive. Thank you so much for commenting! ^__^ Here's something completely different. It's not particularly profound, and the title basically gives it away. I was just having fun playing around with the language. [b]salvador[/b] scarlet paintstreaks dripping tearlike down your egg-white canvas vivid shocks of color, bright blocks behind the bloodstains. melting clocks. surrealism spilling from the tabletop to a nonexistent floor. here light bends as though warped by water-- here the essential fabric wrinkles, folds in upon itself to herald the vast collapse. worlds bound by flatness, beauty and atrocity contained within a frame. ~Dagger~

I would really, really love to take part in this RPG. Please save me a spot; I'll edit this post tomorrow. Many thanks. ^__^ ~Dagger~

I would [i]not[/i] want to date Inuyasha (from Inuyasha, of course). He's rude, stubborn, and incredibly immature--not the best of combinations, neh? I honestly don't know what Kagome sees in him. Sure, he has his likeable moments, and would make a tolerable and rather entertaining friend, but as a romantic interest, he simply doesn't cut it. He's far too busy suppressing his own emotions to be bothered with taking anyone else's into consideration. ~Dagger~

Mmm. Time to take a break from writing my term paper, and to sign up for an RPG that sounds as though it'll be very fun indeed. Name: Raleigh Aurelius. Age: 19. Sex: Female. Description: See attachment (the image quality isn't exactly stellar, but oh well). Weapon/s: An ancient katana. Nice and simple, except for the fact that it's enchanted, and tends to backfire upon the user at the most inconvenient moments possible. Spells: She can use her sword to cast numerous types of magic, ranging from a simple spell of concealment to the creation of gigantic fireballs. She still can't figure out how to make the fireballs actually do something besides lie around and look nifty, but they're fantastic for purposes of intimidation. Bio: Raleigh was born in Kupersville (population: 300), a tiny town located somewhere near Dekimak city. Outgoing, stubborn, and nosy, she couldn't stand to be cooped up in a place where cow-tipping was the primary form of entertainment. Shortly after her fifteenth birthday, she ran away to the city, found herself a number of odd jobs, and slowly began to rise in the world. Though not incredibly intellectual, she was smart enough to make a living without falling into any of the usual traps. Raleigh eventually grew bored, and decided to go on a quest. This might not have been the best idea, but what's done is done. Three broken ribs and two damsels in distress later, she trudged back to Dekimak. She hadn't accomplished anything besides getting her bones cracked, but an old man whom she encountered on the road home offered to give her a sword, free of charge. She didn't realize why he'd wanted to wash his hands of it until much later, when the darned thing had already dragged her into several rather nasty messes. It had a mind of its own, and a tendency to get her into trouble--but its magic also made her into a rather exceptional fighter. She decided to capitalize on this, and promptly declared herself a mercenary. Half a year later, she's attained a moderate degree of success, and has been following the toy rebellion with no small degree of interest, hoping that it'll yield her a new job. ~Dagger~

I normally go for subtitles. Japanese seiyuus tend to be better actors--not to mention the fact that they're far easier on the ears. I'm an exceptionally fast reader, so even the wordiest subs rarely give me trouble. With that having been said, I usually try to purchase shows or movies on DVD, because I like having the ability to switch languages depending on my mood. If I'm feeling lazy, or it's very late at night, I'll probably choose to watch my anime du jour in English. Whenever I buy a new DVD, I go through the material at least twice: first in English, then in Japanese. During subsequent viewings, I usually make the decision to watch it subbed. Some dubs are very well-done and enjoyable, but they're still ultimately a different version of the source material. It's nice to know what it sounded like originally, even if (as is occasionally the case) I ultimately prefer the English version. ~Dagger~

It seemed that this was going to be a rather pleasant night. Nuada surveyed the dark-haired woman, his eyes impassive--though this was thanks only to his formidable self-control. There were few things more pleasing than when the prey strolled straight into his arms. She stood scarcely two feet from him, and yet seemed to have noticed nothing. Arcana could sense traces of fear still lingering in the air around her; the howl had surely originated in this place. She peered into the darkness, intrigued--what had made that sound so harsh and desperate? Something brushed the edge of her sleeve. She stiffened, about to turn around, when a hand snaked out of the shadows behind her, lightning-quick, and caught her about the waist. Less than a breath later, Arcana found herself imprisoned within a powerful, unfamiliar embrace. One of the man's arms fit just beneath her breasts, crushing her back to his; the other gripped her wrist so tightly that it was already beginning to go numb. Her heart was pounding. She gave up struggling after only a few seconds; her attacker obviously had far greater physical strength. She would need to use magic if she wished to escape. Nuada smiled as he inhaled the sweet scent of the woman's hair. It was a shame that she would die.... the contours of her body fit perfectly against his. But he had Ariela, and his veins were singing. He stooped slightly, still silent, and let his lips brush her ear, the soft skin of her neck. Only then did the vampire detect the power building within his captive.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mitch [/i] [B]A butterfly flies round the sky, going round and round till it falls down in death.[/b][/quote] This is a fantastic first line, and reading it immediately compelled me to comment upon your piece. It reminded me strongly of "ring around the rosy," which is particularly fitting when one considers the fact that the seemingly innocuous childrens' rhyme is actually a poem about the Black Death. [quote][b]A creature made of sunshine stands above and watches the butterfly fall down to its death. She catches it in her hand and stares at it. Her hair is made of flowers, the scent of them permeates around in an ulceration that is as vile as it is disgusting. The flowers are rotten and decayed and decadent, emaciated lovelies with small stems and small meaning.[/b][/quote] The only problem that I have with the above passage is its opening sentence, which begins by introducing the reader to "a creature made of sunshine." Although this does serve to further develop the idea of warped beauty, a theme which continues throughout the story, it simply doesn't fit with what we later learn about Pain. While her rotting flowers--overripe and cloyingly sweet--are literally too much of a good thing, describing her as being made of sunshine adds very little to the sheer sense of wrongness which is supposed to surround her. [quote][b]Her flowers move up and down as she moves her head around and glares at the butterfly in different views. She looks at its wings, at its beady little dead eyes, at its smallest features. And just as she caught it she lets it fly down on the ground, and she smushes it with her bare feet, her toenails long and bent, wicked as what she is doing seems.[/b][/quote] The story's main strength is its imagery, and here it is at its finest. [quote][b]When she removes her foot, there is nothing on the ground at all, not even the guts of the butterfly. The butterfly is gone, seemingly evaporated with the touch of her foot. For all its pains, this is all it gets; the final realization of non-existence, and then nothing as it dies away without a scream. So she screams for it as its pain wells in her heart. Things whirr around in her head like weights falling and thunking on the ground hard. She can sense sunlight up above, can picture the large sky, a blue ocean full of gray clouds. She is the butterfly's memories for a momentary elapse, a span of time that ends as soon as it comes. The whole time her mouth is open in pain; it is the utter pain which the butterfly experienced, one that she now experiences. And she too cannot yell, just as the butterfly, but can only feel the pain and feel an unheeded want to scream her pain, and get some help.[/b][/quote] The phrase "get some help" just doesn't fit with the remainder of the sentence that contains it. I'd recommend cutting it. If you really want to express that idea, you'll need to elaborate further and make its importance more clear. [quote][b]She soon walks off in the distance, blood on her hands as she stares off into the sun. Her name is Pain. [center].....[/center] All about the Earth she walks. She is in everyone and not in everyone all at once. She holds a feeling of contempt in everything she sees, but even so at times smiles and is happy to kill other things' pains. She has lived many years, running often through fields of daisies, ashamed of how everything was and is. Her dreams were once as bright as the sun, but now they are liquid blue, as clear and as sad all at once. Often, she can be seen staring into the sun, feeling it die. The flowers upon Pain's hair once had stems as green as envy. The buds on them used to be the colors of rainbows?multi-faceted, full of color which was atrociously beautiful. Any that would see her would be in awe at her form. Pain was created when the Earth was first created. The coming together of all its parts, and the seismic as well as volcanic activity created much hurt from the being born Earth. As the Earth was made, she was formed from magma and fire, the burning passion of inflection. Born in fire and flame, her entire body was racked with anguish and burns, some of the scars still lasting at this day, but most of it now gone as it has been healed. She was born in her own blood. She sat inside the hot and warm Earth, burning and receiving its pains, bleeding fire and her own blood. Her form bled and bled and burned and burned till it was almost dry. During this time, deep in the Earth, she cried often. She would put her flaming hand on the Earth, feeling hurt that was unbearable, and tears would begin to flow from her like a river.[/b][/quote] The last paragraph in this selection is a little too abstract for my tastes (and is far more difficult to visualize than the more concrete imagery seen earlier). It works nicely when taken on its own, but here it contrasts too greatly with the previous descriptive passages, nearly all of which incorporate some mention of color. I don't think you should drop that motif so easily. [quote][b]One day her pain was so great from the Earth that she cried all that day, wanting to die and not exist. The entire time she cradled her arms around her, sobbing and crying her tears, trying to lull herself to a painful sleep. It was in this way that the Earth's endless pain of its creation was sated, and the fires momentarily put out. From this oceans grew, large bodies containing Pain's tears. Pain also escaped from within the Earth in this way, and when she first stepped out into the rapidly developing world, and saw it for the first time, she gazed in glory and awe. She could not believe how beautiful it appeared to be. And even though her form was wasted away, a bleeding wound that ached all over, she managed to smile through raw lips.[/B][/QUOTE] I like the first half of this piece far better than the second--it's more tightly written and provides a superior sense of closure. The second half is inherently different; its tone shifts from that of a surreal and darkly ironic personification to that which one might find in a creation myth. It just doesn't measure up to the high standards which you've set for yourself. The two parts, though deliberately divided, should still be designed to complement one another. ~Dagger~

There are quite a few people (er, vampires) in the OVD. Daigo, should any of us change our alliances in order to make the RPG seem more balanced? I'd be glad to do so, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on the matter first. ~Dagger~

Thank you SO much for replying, Arcadia. Now that I look at it again, I see what you mean about the red and black. I actually started out in grayscale, re-colored his eyes because I had nothing else to do with my life..... and then went a little crazy with the gradient tool. So I probably should have planned it a bit better. ^_^;; This next banner is the one that Belldandy requested (although I have no idea if she'll decide to use it or not). Although it looks rather simple, it took me a depressingly long time to put together. ~Dagger~

Belldandy Angel, here's a banner of Kamui. I wasn't quite sure what text you wanted me to add, so for the time being, I left it blank. EDIT: Alright, since this thread was in the process of dying, I deleted that post and attached a new banner. It's rather different from most of the banners I've made so far, and I'm anxious to know whether or not it sucks (criticism is awesome... hint, hint ^_~). If you still want to see your banner, Belldandy, I can re-attach it. ~Dagger~

Rokuki had managed to escapse amidst the confusion caused by his earsplitting roar. He sprinted towards a nearby stand of trees, gasping for breath. His only goal was to fade into the forest's shadows, the one place where those who stalked and tormented him would fear to tread. The boy's tails twitched as he doubled over, still panting, but greatly relieved. Those policemen had wandered off in the wrong direction--for the moment, Rokuki was safe. And a very brief moment it would prove to be. A dark, elegant figure stepped silently into his line of sight. He recoiled, startled, and scrambled backwards. His muscles were tensed, his eyes uncertain; he could not decide whether to fight or flee. "Neither option would be worth the effort," the man murmured. His voice was low and silky. "Nor the consequences." Rokuki glared at him, angry and unsettled. Anxiety seethed in the pit of his stomach, but he found himself unable to run. "You read my mind?" "Call me Nuada," he replied. Nuada stepped forward into the faint light, and Rokuki saw him fully for the first time: a tall, gracefully built man with raven hair and deep garnet eyes. His lips curved in an enigmatic smile as he returned Rokuki's wary gaze. "I have a ..... proposal. Would you care to hear it?" Fear won out. There was a terrible hunger in that smile. The boy whirled away, his tails lashing, and dashed into the night. Nuada might easily have pursued him, but he instead turned his gaze towards the city. Only a short while ago, a brief flicker of power had just brushed past his fine-tuned senses, and its source was rapidly approaching him. ********* OOC: That'd be Arcana's ball of light, in case I phrased it a little too cryptically. Nice post, Arcadia. ^_^

Public forums are a lot more "fun" when people choose to respect the rules. And frankly, I find it rather hard to "clearly understand what [you're] writing about." Your posts are admittedly more coherent than some I've encountered, but the lack of proper punctuation makes them difficult to read. Your English is excellent; I would never have guessed that it's your second language. It's not as though you're making grammatical errors or scrambling sentence structures; you're simply omitting commas, apostrophes, and the like. Since you seem to have a basic mastery of the language, I don't see why it's so difficult to punctuate your posts. ~Dagger~

I really enjoyed reading this piece. You have a lovely, quiet sense of humor, which I found incredibly refreshing. Many writers overuse sarcasm, but I thought that you incorporated just the right amount of self-deprecation and gentle understatement. [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mimmi [/i] [B][color=indigo][size=3][center]"The Tales of Winter"[/center][/color] [color=firebrick]I was 13 years old when I started my career as a papergirl. My older sister and I were to share a district, since neither of us was really strong [size=1](*cough*or old*cough*) [/size]enough to handle one by ourselves. And with the promise from my dad that it would take no more than half an hour, we decided to go for it.[/color][/b][/quote] Try to either omit or rephrase the part in parentheses. Although amusing, it looks unprofessional, and gives your story more of a fan-fiction-esque kind of feel. When it comes to both plays and fiction, even the briefest of audience asides can be overly distracting. This advice also applies to other "asterisk actions," as when you later say "Those were the days. *sigh.*" Indicating a sigh does nothing to enhance the mood of that particular line. [quote][b][color=firebrick]On the very first day my hometown was hit by a snowstorm, possibly the worst for a few centuries. So I can't say things got off to a great start. ~_^ What was meant to be a nice introduction to what is considered decent labor, turned into my baptism of fire.[/color][/b][/quote] The phrase "baptism of fire" initially struck me as being somewhat cliched. However, after re-reading your story, I realized that your use of that cliche is entirely excusable and perhaps even commendable. It introduces a clever, sly sort of irony (snowstorm-induced misery being described as a baptism by fire), which is admirable because you don't pound it over the reader's head, as writers are often tempted to do. [quote][b][color=firebrick][I]Like the Titanic met her superior in that iceberg, I had met mine in a tiny pool of ice.[/I][/b][/color][/quote] This is a very funny and creative simile. It manages to perfectly encaspulate what I like most about the overall tone of your story. [quote][color=darkred][b][i]Since the last accident I've been refusing to bike when there's snow or slush on the streets. I guess you could say that I never forgave the horse that kicked me off. And even though I occasionally get on it, I don't trust it further than I can throw it.[/i][/b][/size][/color][/quote] I'd recommend revising the ending; you employ too many cliched phrases where a few simple words would do just as well. Overall, this is a great story--very entertaining. You don't need to take any of my suggestions; they are, after all, purely opinion-based. However, you should probably try running it through a spell-checker. Your grammar and spelling are for the most part impeccable, but there are a few minor, easily correctable errors that tend to distract from the quality of the writing. ~Dagger~