John

[quote name='Red 6][color=Sienna']Wow, how's he going to work some stupid twist into this one? Hard to put an unexpected twist on one of the most read books ever. Maybe it'll turn out that the FBI has been spying on Hogwarts via satalites, and the movie ends with SWAT teams storming Hogwarts and arresting everyone for Witchcraft.[/color][/quote] Or, hey, even better: [i]maybe[/i] he'd just blow your mind by never having considered messing with the storyline? Shyamalan's movies are rarely ever about the twist endings anyway (it really only happened in The Sixth Sense and The Village), and despite the fact that he's apparently not actually directing the new movie, I think he could do a very interesting and effective job if he were.

I think it looks pretty good. Apparently it's based off a bedtime story he wrote for his kids, so that adds to the interest some for me (it also makes me hope his kids have good therapists).

[QUOTE=DeadSeraphim][color=Indigo][size=1][font=Arial] You can still be creepy, morally-detached and human all at oncen (like Slingblade!). And even creepy, morally-detached weirdos get terrified when someone has snuck into their apartment and kill their lover without even waking them. Trufax.[/font][/size][/color][/QUOTE] That was my point, really. But the automatic, unthinking expectation is that the guy is creepy and detached and will therefore [i]be[/i] creepy and detached. Since he wasn't, though, I'd have made more of a point of that than you did. You just kinda left it to be eventually assumed. And that's also the only problem I still see in this story: a lack of description. And describing doesn't mean you have to go into paragraphs-long odes about a character's nostrils, but in this chapter, for instance, you should have done more with the priest. The line, "Put down the gun and leave, before we kill you, you fool!" for instance, could either be really good or really bad, depending on what that priest is like. If when Black entered he was rallying the crowds with messages of inspiration and perfection, and trying to pass off as a man of rationality to side with and please the crowd, then that line sounds pretty cheesy coming from him. If he's a gnarled old man with his eyes focused aimlessly upwards and bellowing about those who would try and stop perfection, then the line would be pretty suiting. Small things like that would take some of the effort off the reader, and give the settings more depth.

Like most people here, I use Firefox for pretty much everything because of its better protection, speed, and customizability, but use IE for whatever designers are lazy and callous enough to not make their sites cross-browser. [quote name='Ikillion][color=#af992f][size=1][font=Comic Sans MS][b]Edit: [/b] Yeah there is a screenshot for all those who care, and yeah I know I am such a Tab whore >.

[quote name='Dragon Warrior']You guys said it yourself, I should have 'em in the newspaper. And if I ever do, it needs to be newspaper appropriate. In fact, our cartoony violence may even be a bit over the line (like the mention of corpses).[/quote]Ever read The Far Side? It was one of the most popular newspaper comics ever, and it made pretty copious use of "damn". Swear away, America loves it! :o

[quote name='Gavin][size=1']It's only supposed to be 10 letters long at max, but I'll give it a shot.[/size][/quote] Teaches me to skim the thread. :X [QUOTE][font=Century Gothic][color=DarkOrange] SYOKDDFS[/color][/font][/QUOTE] So Your Other Kinsman, Donald Duck, Flees Scenes? CHEESECAKE

True, and it's not nice of you to make fun of them like that. ;~; TPBM will make a false reply to this statement. :p

[b]#3[/b], I believe, is actually the Edit button. :d

[quote name='Frankie']DTMHAMTER[/quote] Does That Mnemonic Healer Alter Memories Towards Exorbitant Ruthlessness? Stephen Colbert did a great one made from his name on his show this afternoon, so I want to see what you guys might've done with the same (feel free to strangle me for this one, by the way): STEPHEN COLBERT

[quote name='MomochiZabuza][color=DarkOrange][size=1][font=Verdana]If Mormons would be a little more public and open and maybe point out the good parts of their religion to the press, perhaps they wouldn't be made fun of so much?[/font][/size'][/color][/quote] "Mormons are pefectly normal people" wouldn't sell as many papers as "omg mormons have a billion wives", though, would it? :P

You [i]know[/i] it would've read better if Gandalf had said "you damn hobbits". :P

[QUOTE=liveinmybubble]They're getting revenge for... :animestun for us taking their jobs by being great posters! if everyone posted great who would need site administartors! :animestun I've just fainted out of confusion... Smelling salt anyone? :animestun[/QUOTE] Yes yes, you've figured out the conspiracy and how far the mods and admins will go to protect their positions on internet message boards. Thanks. Now go find some other forum to defend, please.

The point that I was getting at is that you can't have your cake and eat it too. No matter what form of government you choose, you'll always have problems. And your misdirection comes from the fact that you're expecting to be able to make a perfect government, when we can't make a perfect [i]anything[/i]. And if we try to abolish cracks and snags in the system completely, instead of just minimizing them, then even more will simply come up.

The main conflict I see with your post, Farto, is that you think the government should be an entity that works to protect its citizens. The centuries-old question, though, is whether the government should be a body higher than the people that only concerns it with the people's best interest (the view advocated by Thomas Hobbes, hit him up on Wikipedia), or whether it should be a representation of the people's collective wishes (advocated by John Locke, check him out too). The first option will result, sooner or later, in the protectors of the nation serving themselves instead of the people, and this has been proved throughout history. The second will probably result in the people destroying themselves, because they don't know what's good for each other. This is true the larger the nation is and the less the citizens and groups of citizens are able to know each other. 'Course, that second option is what most of the world has right now, and it's satisfied the most people succesfully for the longest amount of time, so which of the two evils should you choose?

Definitely getting better as the chapters go by, and you did some great description in Chapter 1. All I can think to tell you about this chapter is that you could've fleshed out Red a little bit more, especially through more description of his actions throughout the conversation. For instance, throughout the entire chapter he was lying in a pool of his lover's blood. From all the information about his character that you gave us, I'd expect him to want to crawl off onto the floor next to the bed, or anywhere but there. I also would've said more about his facial expressions and demeanor. He's a morally detached, creepy guy, so audiences would expect him to be, well, pretty morally detached and creepy. But since he was definitely more terrified and human (slightly), I'd have made more effort to clarify that.

I like it so far, but I won't be able to judge too much, since this is only a prologue. I will say that the intro image was very well-chosen, and it was smart to lead into the black and white right at the beginning. Few critiques: [quote name='DeadSeraphim][center][left][font=Arial,sans-serif']Shades of grey my arse, when you get down to it everyone's motivation is either inherently malevolent and selfish (black), or inherently beneficial and selfless (white).[/quote] Distinguishing "black" and "white" in the parentheses was unnecessary and lacked subtlety. I have a feeling that's something you should watch out for later on in the story, since I don't get the impression so far that Black is much of a talker, heh. [QUOTE]We were lovers, before they took her. Before they killed her.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]It was supposed to be a routine hit.[/QUOTE] Both of these lines were way too cliche, and if you're writing a noir story about a hitman getting revenge, the last thing you need is cliches, lol. I like the story, but watch out for those types of things. [/font] [/left] [/center]

Having a sense of humor about yourself is always a very valuable asset to living, in my opinion. If you always look at yourself and other people or organizations you're connected to with a serious, defensive tone, then... well, then things like this happen lol. I mean, hell, if only you could hear all the Jesus jokes me and another Christian friend of mine exchange. It [i]is[/i] different, though, if they're making those jokes with genuinely hateful intent. In that case, you just have to grin and bear it. Remember that somewhere in the world, a lot more people hate a lot more other people much more intensely than the person who's making a joke hates your religion. And people are [i]going[/i] to hate each other, so getting angry won't help anything. As for people who ask you how many wives/moms you've got? They simply don't know that that's not a modern practice of Mormonism, so tell them that. I can't think of a better situation for you to improve your religion in their eyes instead of just complaining.

[b]World of Warcraft[/b] > German language > Germany > Kingdom of Prussia > Austro-Prussian War > [b]Helmuth von Moltke the Elder [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slam_dunk"]Slam dunk[/url][/b] > [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confucius"][b]Confucius[/b][/url]

[size=2]You guys totally wimped out on Hippopotamus > Tin-foil hat. :p [b] Mary Ward Catholic Secondary School [/b]> Free The Children > Oprah Winfrey > Phil McGraw > [b]Dr. Phil (TV series) [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Street_Preachers"]Manic Street Preachers[/url][/b] > [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snap%2C_Crackle_and_Pop"][b]Snap, Crackle and Pop[/b][/url] (This one can be got in five.) [/size]

[QUOTE][color=Indigo][font=Trebuchet MS][b]kuomintang [chinese government][/b] > [b]mace[/b][/font][/color][/QUOTE] [color=Indigo][font=Trebuchet MS][font=Tahoma][color=black]Surprisingly hard, this was. >.> But a friend and I worked on it, and she was able to crack it. [b]Kuomintang > China > Riot control agent (linked as "tear gas" in the China article) > Pepper spray > Mace[/b] =) Now, for mine, connect Hippopotamus to Tin-foil hat. >=D [/color][/font][/font][/color]

You see, my problem is that OB is the only forum on the internet. I mean, there [i]is[/i] no message board community outside OB, and if you don't like it here, you can't simply go to some hypothetical "other forum", because there are none. Everyone's stuck here at these boards with their horribly cruel set of rules and cackling moderation team. *reads the bulletin handed to him* What?! Since when?? Well, disregard [i]my[/i] theory then.

I love games with unique gameplay. It doesn't have to be totally original, but anything with a unique spin on it can get my attention. That and expansive, open-ended levels. Both of these things have put Deus Ex and Hitman high on my favorites list, despite them both being otherwise relatively ordinary shooters. Graphics don't generally matter to me at all, oddly. I do appreciate a very pretty game, but I'll play an ugly (and not just technologically inferior, but genuinely ugly) game as soon as a beautiful one if they both have good gameplay.

If I'm bored, I've got a good bit of my Twilight Zone collection that I still haven't finished, so I'll pop in a disc and watch an episode or two. Learning guitar is also a good way to while the time away, and of course, just perusing the internet. [quote name='PaganAngel']Or, I can just whip out my Ocarina and play that song that makes half a day pass by... what was it? c-right, c-right, a, a, c-down, c-down? Ah, you probably don't know what I'm talking about.[/quote] Oh! I'll have to remember that next time I'm bored. I'd fiddled with the ocarina a little bit before in Majora's Mask, but sadly, not too much. I [i]do[/i] remember perfecting the intro to the Rocky theme on the deku pipes, though.

Yes, if you made a shirt out of "Dark Waters", I'd totally buy it. Actually, I wouldn't because buying stuff on the internet is a big hassle for me. But I'd [i]wish[/i] I had, and it's the thought that counts.

Some of the points I'm about to make have been made by others already, but they need reiteration anyway. [b]Un.[/b] OB isn't starting to get "run by n00bs". And stop saying "n00bs", by the way. It lost all charm and cleverness by the second time people started saying it to distinguish newbies that they didn't like. [b]Deux. [/b]OB doesn't need you to cabal together into a secret society and fix it. Aside from that, you couldn't if it did. [b]Trois.[/b] Why is this thing a "secret", and why are you all getting your panties in a bunch that Annie told people what it was? You say it's because if people found out about it, they'd think it was stupid? Of course we would, it is. You don't want to actually help OB, nor do you have it's good in mind. If you did, you'd applaud Joe for at least posting [i]something[/i], whether you agreed with it or not. Keeping silent about it is contrary to the obvious logic that supposedly supports this little club. But no, it's obviously just an immature excuse to feel even more superior to those despised little "n00bs", and to justify your bitching about them (and about pretty much anything else that springs to mind at the time, it would seem), because you're in on a [i]secret.[/i] At least Ezekiel had the sense to realize how insipid this was.