sahkiryce

| Thur [FONT=Arial Narrow]03 15 07 Today her mind plays the cello while everybody is ~ asked to sit and listen to her play Bach. [/FONT] | | | [FONT=Arial Narrow] Image from Deviantart.com The Cello by jphiggins[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial Narrow][COLOR=DarkRed]Unfortunately, I'm not a real expert with sonnets, nor have I really constructed any, just maybe a few "pseudo-sonnets", so I can't really give any worthy criticism. And well, I felt like leaving a compliment rather than just criticism, because in truth, I read it over, and I can't find anything wrong. That's just how I see it. I can just say that I enjoyed reading this. I could picture the sea right in front of me. I really love this line "To float in frightful calm and drone" really really love that line. Hah perhaps the reason why I am liking this poem right now is because you have captured my mood at the moment.[/COLOR] [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial Narrow][I][COLOR=DarkRed][B]Updates 03/16[/B]: Finally added chapter 11. Remember you can access it in the links. This is probably my longest, most boring chapter....unfortunately. [B]Updates 03/15[/B]: Hah, well if anyone is reading this sorry crap, thanks a bunches. Anyway...as the last chapter stated, I had writer's block. I am finishing a new chapter right now, I'll post it up shortly. [B]Updates 03/13[/B]: I don't even know why I'm posting anymore. But yeah, I've added another chapter. [B]Updates 03/12[/B]: You no longer have to scroll all the way down to the next chapter. I put up some links to the specific chapters now. [B]Updates 03/12[/B]: I added another chapter. Fixed the intro. And I'm thinking of naming this whole thing "Book of Revelations." But I'm not sure yet. Gonna have to wait 'til all of it is finished. [B][U]Introductions[/U][/B] I've been writing these chapters, and have been contemplating whether or not I should put it up here and ask for feedback. But obviously now, I've decided to post it up. Please, I'd like some feedback....even if they are constructive comments about how it sucks haha well I really don't know what I'm writing anyway heh. I can't even think of a proper title. This'll do for now. Oh yes, I wasn't sure of the ratings, I will gladly modify it if necessary. To set you in the mood, I'm just gonna say this: I believe that life is dialogue....not a bunch of flowery descriptive words. Bar The Guilt Anomaly Genesis 18:16 to 19:29 The Short Memory Earnest Contemplations Sulking Cry Baby The Monster's Name Was Jez Andra Belle Perpetuating Night Jake and the Obstacle Jake Encounters Damion [/COLOR][/I] [B][U]Bar[/U] [/B] "I want you to be honest with me baby," he muttered. "Hm? What do you mean?" "Don't give me any of your pity. You know I hate that." Pursing her lips, she replied, "No I never knew that. Honestly" "I've got no thoughts right now. You got no obligation to make everything better. So don't, okay?" ".......okay." "Please......don't." She looked at him....sensing how serious he was...he was serious. She sighed and replied, "I understand." "When the blankness comes, you don't needa do anything. I'm gonna be out there, taking care of everything. It's gonna be a lil' rough, but all I need you to do is stay here. And when I come back, nothing happened. Please.....I like it better that way.......you love me right?" "Yes. Of course! Don't you dare ask me that again. I love you." "Will you do this for me?" "As long as you promise to me that you'll be alright." "I promise." "Then okay." There was a silence...he kissed her...and off he went. [B][U]The Guilt[/U] [/B] For a brief moment, he had experienced a burst of elation......but that was all over now.....and everything had gone back to the way things were. Nothing. He wandered the streets and whispered, "What the hell am I doing?" "What the hell am I doing." Nothing. He replayed their conversation in his head, a conversation they had in the same place the other night. "Do you like nice guys?" he asked her. And she nodded and smiled answering, "Yeah." "Why?" "They have the best smiles, they have a true heart. When they compliment you, it's a compliment you can trust...unlike that of a sleazy 'mean' guy. I don't like them. I like nice guys better." "Am I a nice guy?" She laughed and answered, "Yeah I think so...I like you." "But you know that saying...nice guys always finish last." "But then there's also, you save the best for last, or you'll always have the last laugh," she shrugged, placing her chin on her hands saying, "I dunno, it goes something like that." "You know that I think you're the greatest right?" For a moment, she couldn't say another word...she sat there gathering her thoughts, but nothing materialized...just nothing. Quietly, she asked, "Why are you leaving?" "I don't know...I don't know. I'm sorry." "Don't be a mean guy...that's not you. You don't need to be mean, just be aggressive." "I need to go." "Alright. Fine." He laughed to himself, as he strolled, wondering why he was about to think what he was about to think. [I]She's frikkin ridiculous.[/I] [U][B]Anomaly [/B] [/U] That sensation....that sensation wasn't leaving at all. You know, the sensation you get when two eyes are diligently watching you, while you walk, while you eat, while you talk, while you breathe, while you piss....while you look over your shoulder to see if anyone is following you. It wasn't leaving, and it bothered like crazy. Scratched like crazy, and gnawed...like crazy. He spun around, [I]who's out there?[/I] "Just me." "Geez!" he nearly jumped out of his clothing, startled by the sudden voice, "You fu--" "Don't you know it's not nice to swear?" Who was this? Who was she to correct his language? She had no right to-- "Stop talking to yourself," the girl said, circling him, skipping as if there was a game of hopscotch etched around his feet, "I could hear you talking to yourself." "I'm not talking to myself." "Yes you are." "Who are you? Never mind, leave me alone, I'm going somewhere." "No you're not..." Damn was she irritating, but she was a kid, and he had to control his temper, especially since she was a little girl, so he said, "I am. So...yeah good-bye." "You're not going anywhere." "And why? Why would you think that, you don't know me." "You're not going anywhere, because you don't even know what your name is." "My...name?" [I]hell, she was right...what IS my name?[/I] The girl laughed and skipped a little ahead of him, and surprisingly, he followed. "Wait," he said, "Who the he--ck are you?" "My name is Janine. Kind of old-sounding for a little girl huh? But I'm Janine, what's your name?" He shrugged saying, "I don't know." "I'm gonna call you...Jake." "Naw, I hate that name." "Then Jake it is!" she laughed again and she started running away, giggling, giggling lightly...that kind of laughter annoyed him. "Hey! Wait!" running after her, he began yelling, and moving forward, trying to catch up to her, "Why Jake?" She had stopped, and he nearly lost his balance halting himself so that he wouldn't run into her, and he heard Janine answer, "Because the author didn't give you a name." "What? Author?" "Yeah, author. She didn't give you place either, or a plot. You're like a blank canvas with a...a personality. And I think you're a Jake." This was getting too weird, and so-called "Jake" hated the unknown and the weird, and he pointed at her quite angrily, saying, "What the hell are you talking about? This IS the place! And what [I]author[/I] for cryin' outloud??" "The author see?" Janine pointed upwards, but there was nothing to see out there but blackness, "Jake, you're the protagonist. I think she didn't give you a plot because she wanted [I]you[/I] to go make one." "What kind of author makes his or her characters make the plot? I can't possibly be making this as I go...she's probably writing or typing my words right now, typing it up so others can read my #*$%ing words, is that it? Where's the #&*$ing privacy in [I]that[/I]?" "She just bleeped you out just now, she hates it when you curse," Janine giggled. As frustrated as he was, he felt a bit afraid as well. "But it's weird huh? Having others read what you're doing....like eyes watching you all the time," Janine said with a grin, "Well I'm off. You're new around here and I noticed that you were having a little trouble. It was nice meeting you Jake." She started to skip away again, and he went after her saying, "Wait, okay, then what's my girlfriend's name? Why was I at a bar to begin with?" "See? You're getting the hang of it, she's your girlfriend now." "What's her name??" "Whatever you want," Janine smiled... And she disappeared....then standing there, he started thinking to himself, wondering which way to go, nothing but tall street lamps to light the roads, no names, no where....nothing. [B][U]Genesis 18:16 to 19:29 [/U] [/B] Okay author....let's switch this to first person. Did you do it? Am I the one that is speaking now? Good. [I]Do not use profanity...I will blot it out.[/I] Yeah yeah....so....here's my story. I was put smack dab in the middle of a town, with no names, no places, and get this, I'm supposed to make up every single thing that goes on in here. I don't like to control things ya know? I just want them to fall into place. Well for some reason, I feel like I came from a particular town....I don't think it's there anymore. [I]What happened to the town?[/I] I think....I think someone torched it. [I]Why did they do that?[/I] I--I don't know. Let me relive the moment please.... ..............thanks. This is it, this town right here...damn....I hate this town. "Hey there Jake, how's it goin'? Feelin' lonely? Haven't seen ya in a while?" the fool winked and grinned. Disgusting. I can't stand this place, and the people in it, "Leave me alone...I've got to find Irene." "Who's that Jake?" "My girlfriend. I left her somewhere....why don't you go find a girlfriend too ya freak." "Why are you being so hateful? That saddens me. Never mind Jake, I can find someone else who loves me." That's what this town was for. Those people littered the streets, they had no shame. The men, the women, squirmed with each other almost like earthworms at any given day, and what the hell, to them, it didn't even matter who they squirmed with. What kind of town is this? I don't wanna walk into a room having to see that. I hate that. I really do. I've got to find Irene and disappear from this place.... But why did other people enjoy watching that sort of thing? Did they find it amusing? Sexy? I'm not a righteous person, but I sure as hell know what is right and what is wrong, and I'm not afraid to say it. Well maybe I am, because if I say it all outloud now, I'd probably get beaten to death by every man, every woman, and by every one of their allies. But, Irene...I'll ask this person..... "Where's Irene?" "Irene?" she said, "I don't know an Irene. If you find her let me know." "Shut it! Wipe that #*@(%&# grin off yer face or I'll do it for ya!" That's right, run away....giggle like the idiot you are. I hate this place. "Hey you." What? Who's talking to me now?? What the hell, it was her...Janine...but she wasn't a little girl. "Janine?" "Yeah how'd you know?" she asked. "I met you....don't you remember?" "No I don't, but anyway, I have no time for intros. I need some help. I'm getting rid of this place. I'm burning it." "Wait...I need to find Irene." "Irene? Oh that girl. She's safe, I helped her escape...she went east." Irene...[I]my[/I] Irene. She was here. "I'm burning this place. People here don't like admitting what's wrong anymore," Janine stated, shaking her head, "They'll keep doing it, people will keep watching, they'll make up stories, they'll modify characters of stories to their liking. Like, take your favorite book, with your favorite hero, and they'll skew the story so that the hero's world and actions mimics this town's world and actions. It ruins a good book, it ruins a good story, it ruins everyone's character." "Yeah...I really hate that." Janine laughed and said, "You said that already...like a million times. Come on, follow me." "What do I help you with?" "You need to escape, and disappear. That's all. I can handle this. So go." "But hey--" "GO DAMMIT!" Janine shoved me away...and so I ran out. I ran out of there. I didn't say my good-byes...not even to my old friends because they've turned into one of them. I kept on running...I'm not one of them, and I never was. It's funny though, how those people have more allies than I do. Behind me, I heard a loud roar of fire, and a bright light engulfed the whole land... [B][U]The Short Memory[/U][/B] The next room was completely empty, except for a stage in the middle of the room, and a piano that rested upon it, where a violin rested on its bench. I remembered Irene. [I]"You can't describe music. You can't really describe your experience with it....it's impossible." "Sure it's possible," I said, "You just say, 'it made me feel good.' There...easy." "No...no it's more than that Jake. Listen to them play, listen...you...you can't possibly feel what I'm feeling when I hear this piece. And...I can't explain it to you, you won't understand." "Irene...what are you feeling?" And she just quietly replied, "Peace."[/I] If that's what music is like...then Irene...you are my music. ............I should have told her that. [B][U]Earnest Contemplations[/U][/B] There was this one conversation I had with her. Well....I'm having a hard time retelling it. Do something useful for a change Author and why don't you tell it? I'll just sit here for a while....... [i]"I'm sorry Irene. I didn't mean to upset you." "Don't say that again Jake. Please don't say that again." "Sorry." "I don't want to hear you talking like that. It scares me," she bit her lower lip, holding back the tears that were screaming to fall. "I didn't mean it I promise," Jake was feeling guilty now, he didn't want to see her cry. "Don't you believe that I care about you?" Irene muttered, looking away from him so that he wouldn't have to see her flooding eyes. "Of course I do Irene. I do." "But why can't I believe you?" "Just believe me," .....there was a long silence, and once again, Jake murmured, "I'm sorry Irene."[/i] Why did I say those things? Now I'm afraid I'll never see Irene again, I'll never see her...... I said to her that day, "I wonder what people will do if I die? I wonder how many of them will cry, I wonder how many will be there, I wonder if any of them will scream, or if any of them will feel guilty. I wish I could find out somehow." Well...don't let that happen to me yet Author. Not now. Not yet. I still have things to do. I'm gonna keep going and I'm gonna find her somewhere, but keep me alive. Sorry. Why the hell did I say those things? I'm no good. Why me? Why now? Author at least do something for me...watch over me in this nightmare, also give me a sane mind if you can, and make sure that I'm the kind of character that just keeps going on. I'm supposed to make up the story right? Well, I'm the protagonist, I'm looking for Irene...give me some sort of strength at least, make me a [frikkin] hero.... Please. Okay............just go to sleep now. [U][B]Sulking Cry Baby[/B][/U] If you sit there, Jake, contemplating on every portion of your life....its past, its present, its future....if you just sit there...nothing's gonna happen. You'll be sitting there, nothing taking any shape or form. I know, I know....but I can't right now...I'll get up...I'll get up later. I need to...I want to lie down. Tiny, small little things......compress you? Into something, tiny and small as well? Why? It compresses me, smashes me.....like when you take playdough, shape it into a ball, then slowly press onto it, and it becomes flat, the sides expand...and it becomes nothing but a flaccid piece of playdough. I'm a flaccid piece of playdough right now. I'm just gonna dry up. Jake, those are little things, don't take them seriously...get up...do [I]something[/I]. Hell...I can't.....man. This ceiling....looks nice. It looks almost like the sky. This is going no where. I know this guy, his name was Erik Satie. She said he composed this. She said his name was Erik Satie. Do me a favor....thank Erik Satie for making this song. I feel calm when I listen to it. I'm gonna stay here for a while...lying here like a piece of unfolded origami....like idle origami. [B][U]The Monster's Name Was Jez Andra Belle[/U] [/B] [I]Part I[/I] Hey....I thought I told you already. I don't wanna talk for myself no more, at least not right now.....I'm done for now. I'm tired. Real tired. [I]Okay[/I] The road was called "No Where in Particular," and he travelled down this road, by himself, wondering if it would take him somewhere, despite of its name. This couldn't be a life of his, it wasn't real, somewhere along the way, a huge hand will come out of the dust and slap him hard enough for him to wake up from this nightmare. Maybe the tremors from where the hand would emerge out of the dirt will be enough to wake him up. His feet continued to take him along the road, until he saw a building off at the side. [B][FONT=Arial]THE SHRINK'S OFFICE[/FONT][/B], it said in bright bold letters....a small building, with an oversized sign, and Jake seemed a bit creeped out by its appearance. A shrink's office huh? Why give it that name? It was obvious that it was Jake's purpose to make a visit, because it stood out and demanded his attention, so with one wipe of the nose, he pulled himself toward the building. He opened the door, bells ringing, and stepped inside, and as soon as he came in, the secretary at the desk asked, "Are you Jake?" He answered in question, "Yeah?" "She'll see you now." "Huh?" "Through that door please," and the secretary pointed him to a door next to the frontdesk. There was enough room for puzzlement....and plenty of time to waste time at the office, so he shrugged and proceeded onward. He entered the office.... "Hello Jake." A wave of shock overtook him and he exclaimed, "What the hell! It's you! You're a shrink too??" "I've always been a 'shrink' as you say....anyway I like the term psychologist better. But just call me by my name. I'm more of your friend now, than any of those terms," she smiled. "Janine, it's me....Jake. Don't you remember me?" She tapped the tip of her pencil against her chin and looked off to the right side murmuring, "I don't recall ever meeting you." "Oh come on, in the city? You torched it, and um, when I was walking down the street you were a little girl...or, I met a little girl named Janine, I swear it was you." "Well we don't have enough time Jake, I wanna talk to you about the source of your problems," she said, looking straight at him. "Hm? Problems? Oh you mean other than me being stuck in this real life Dali painting?" "Hmm...right," she stood out of her seat and suddenly took him by the shoulders saying, "Actually, I want to warn you Jake, it's very important." "What?" "Your mother, she's in danger, you have to save her. In minutes, someone is going to kill her and take over her life....she's a type of spirit, a monster that lives in other peoples' bodies, and feeds on their minds until she has complete control...you have to save your mother!" Janine exclaimed with a bit of hysteria. "My mom, why would someone kill my mom?" Jake felt confused. "There's no time, go find her, the one who is going to kill your mother. Her name is Jez Andra Belle." "Alright." And Jake immediately left, exiting the office, suddenly finding himself in familiarity...his hometown. And a single image flashed in his mind....his mother crumbled into a pile of ashes and disappeared forever. Hurrying, Jake sprinted home. [U]Part II[/U] "Mom?" this was my home, "Is everything alright?" she didn't look like she was in any trouble. She looked perfectly fine, so what could Janine be talking about? She smiled at me, greeted me, hugged me, just like the mom I knew, and yeah, what's so wrong about loving your mother? That it'll make you look like a...a sissy? I could use another word, but I have a feeling that someone would blot it out anyway, so why bother? I didn't see a monster, there was no Jez Andra Belle. Just my mother, just my mom. Just as she had been for the last.... "Fifteen years, sixteen years maybe? Actually make that twenty years minus five to six years. Jez Andra Belle feasted on your mother's mind for almost five years." That was Janine's voice, but I didn't see her around, she was no where to be seen. Dammit....I'm definitely losing it. I don't see anything wrong with her, so why should I do anything? "Jake don't you have somewhere to go? Don't you have to go to school?" my mother asked me, looking at me....but, her eyes weren't looking, they were staring at something else. It was strange, because she was standing there obviously not really paying attention to me, as if her eyes revealed that her mind was somewhere else other than here. She forgot to lock those windows, I guess, because I could see right through them. "No Mom. Not right now. Actually, I'm kinda hungry..." "I'll cook you something right now," she smiled...but I could have given that same smile on any given day....I never really smile, and I only smile when I'm faking it, when I feel that I have to smile just to be polite, just to satisfy social expectations. My mom smiled that way. "No I'll do it." Her phone rang, and she immediately looked at it, checking to see who had called, and with a quiet tone, she said, "Hm. That's weird, who's this?" Wow......amazing....what an act. And still it wasn't enough to win the academy award for the worse leading actress. She gave me that smile again and said, "So you're gonna cook?" "Yeah Mom. I'll make some eggs or something." "You know I wonder when your dad's gonna come home. He said he'd come home early today," she started walking away, "I think I'll call him, because we're supposed to go pick up the curtains today." Mom...never called Dad. I wonder...if all of those times she called Someone Else, she knew that I was standing at the otherside of the closed door, whether it was a bathroom door, or a closet door. Jez Andra Belle.....get out of my mom's head. Get out now. No...I won't believe it. She would never let someone like that get in her head. It must have been the other person that put her in there while she was sleeping. She came home one day, and I noticed something strange on her, "Mom what's that? Is that a rash? Lemme see." "Uh yeah, it's a rash, don't worry about it," she said, repeatedly rubbing at the red-purplish spot on her neck just to conceal it from view, "I'll put some ointment on it, it'll be all better." "What kind of rash is it?" "A rash." And she hid herself inside of her own room...again. She's still the same person...and don't tell me otherwise! [I]So you're going to let Jez live inside of her mind, is that it?[/I] There is no Jez A. Belle. There's only the other person. The person on the otherside of that phone, that phone that's become a part of my mom's frikkin' hand and ear. If there IS a Jez......she was placed inside of my mom's head. HE did it. I'll find him, I'll kill him, I'll strangle him, I'll plant his skull into the asphalt....then Jez'll die, then he'll die, and my mom could be herself again. Don't worry Mom I'll save you....Irene can wait. Perpetuating Night There is no Part III is there? It's a locked door isn't it? Is this the only plot I can't advance? Can't I make it up? Leave it alone. You can't go in there. It hasn't happened yet. It will....all I need to do is make it happen. I can't let her get consumed by that thing. You're tired. I can see it. You need to sleep now. Wake up later. I can't sleep. Not now. Why should I sleep? What am I gonna wake up to? I won't wake up home, but I'm gonna wake up in this nightmare which I can't seem to escape. It's everywhere it's all around me. I'm making this story up and I say I'm going through that door. Jake...go to sleep. If I sleep, will I wake up home? Or will I still be here in this same place? I'm stuck here ya know. If I sleep, then make me sleep forever so I wouldn't have to wake up here again. What scares me is if I have to wake up in this place, having to go on and make up everything. And having to know that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life? Hell, I don't even know if the memories I'm having are real. I have no companions now....no Irene. She's lost, and I can't find her. I can't find Irene. It seems like I'll never find Irene. You will. Please don't make me sleep. What's the point? You're still going to be here. Endure it. You don't understand.....it's the waking up part that I hate. It's waking up, realizing that you're still here. That I'm still here. You understand now? It's the waking up that I hate. I hate this....where the hell am I? Can't I go home now? Can't I go home? "Jake. Don't cry. I'll help you." "Janine? You again." "Even in this place, you still need rest." "It's like night isn't it? Even though it's day. It feels like nighttime. The darkest of nights." "Figuratively or literally?" "I don't know...maybe both?" "Jake. You're being cared for. You don't see it, but you are, and you need your rest. Don't be afraid to wake up. Okay?" .........okay....if you say so. Jake and the Obstacle Hours and hours pass as he rested where he was, sound asleep, and unmoving, easily mistaken for an old gray corpse abandoned on the street. Luckily for Jake, no cars passed through here, no vehicles of any sort. It was just him and the asphalt, slumbering together....possibly at night. And Jake finally awakens. "Only because you were talking too loud. I'm still here aren't I?" Yes you are. "Where IS 'Here' anyway? I'll bluntly say it. This is so weird." Janine suddenly said, "You like to repeat things don't you? If you haven't realized that things have been weird for the past few chapters, then you must be pretty stupid." It was her as I had met her the first time, and for some reason, she seemed to recognize who I was. To tell you the truth, I felt extreme relief. A whole $(*%load of relief....and you'll never seem to agree to type out my actual words instead of replacing them with a string of symbols and characters huh? "And you like thinking to yourself too," she uttered. "You seem to be the only thing I can't control. Actually, I don't think I've ever controlled anything up to this point," I was getting frustrated. I could give you a long drawn out explanation on the physiology of being frustrated, the characteristics of being frustrated, but I'm sure you have been frustrated before...do I really need to explain it to you? "Alright, alright. I guess things haven't really been fair. You can't control me, I'm sort of like, the author's 'espionage'....keeping things in check, helping you move along," she flashed me her largest grin and played imaginary hopscoth again. "So, in the previous chapters...were you only pretending to forget that we ever met?" Giggling, Janine answered, "Maybe, maybe not." "#(@*." "What?" "Never mind," I'm annoyed with you right now. No no, never mind I take that back. "Yes because she could erase you, and wipe you off the face of the earth if you make her really mad." Mindreader. "Yeah I'm afraid so," Janine laughed again. "Yeah," I'm getting out of here, "well...I'm going to leave now. I'll see you in the next chapter." "Wow, what's that?" I don't know. There was this huge boulder blocking my path, and suddenly, I was stuck in this ravine, with this boulder sitting in front of me. What now? What's going on? How was I supposed to move forward with this in my way? "Author! Hey author!" I shouted to the heavens as loud as I could, hearing my echoes skip from wall to wall, "GET THIS BOULDER OUTTA MY WAY!" There was no answer. Only silence replied. "Uh oh, this isn't good," Janine said, scratching her head, "You can't move forward right now. You might have to wait here for a while." "Why? What's going on?" "It's obvious Jake. This is symbolism screaming out at you. You're going down a path, now you're stuck in a ravine, and you can't move forward because this boulder is blocking your way. Literally, this is the writer's block." "Damn writer's block. That probably means she's giving up on me." "I wouldn't blame her....you're sitting here, lying here, lying or sitting anywhere always complaining and reminiscing about Irene and life," Janine started to taunt me, and her stinging criticism hurt like salt on a paper cut...however the hell that was supposed to feel like, "Maybe I should narrate. 'Jake sits on a cold cold stone, and thinks about nothing. Jake mopes around all day. Jake sits on his chair, doing nothing....again.' Geez Jake, I don't know how someone advances a plot by just sitting there." As much as I hate to admit...Janine was [frikkin] right....DAMMIT. Frustrating. I looked up through the slit where the ravine walls met in the sky and shouted, "I MIGHT AS WELL STOP CURSING...SHE HATES IT WHEN I CURSE!" Janine gave out a ring of her famous giggles once again and said, "See? Isn't that what I told you from the very beginning?" For a while, having this version of Janine with me provided some comic relief, and just relief in general...but when the rainclouds suddenly rolled in, she disappeared...as if the raindrops melted her figure away. I'm here, alone again, with this boulder blocking my path. Amazing...how things just vanish faster than a blink of an eye....faster than the persistence of my own thoughts. It feels heavy down here, with the rainclouds bawling on me, with this thing in front of me. I don't feel like moving onward. Hey, you wouldn't believe this...but I want to hear her voice again. Not Janine's, not Irene's...but the author's. [B][U]Jake Encounters Damion[/U][/B] I'm starting to suspect that every character here mirrors some sort of identity...one component of the "authorial" identity. It makes me wonder who I am, what my role is. Am I her main identity? Reminds me of this one movie I watched...where the guy battles all of his identities until the prostitute is left...but then the evil boy at the end takes over. Whoops....ruined the ending. Maybe you know what movie I'm talking about, maybe not. I walked into a teahouse...and people were there...amazing...souls in sight...it was almost comforting. But everything seemed so black and white, as if I was staring into a black and white picture. Where am I, by the way? This looks almost like an old-fashioned Japanese teahouse. It wasn't complete though. Some things were missing. Damion sits at a table next to where I was standing...and I sit with him. Why? "Hey," I whispered to him, "I feel like I know you." "Do you? Do I know you?" "I know that your name is Damion...at least you seem like a Damion." "Am I alive? Or am I a character that's alive because of the author's inspiration? Am I driving this story or is the author doing it?" "Certainly, the author perpetuates your existence...you are nothing but lines on paper, or pixels on a computer screen whether in the form of letters compiled into words then meaningful sentences, or lines joined in a sketch of your person...that's my theory." Is that what I am? I'm not a living creature...crap. "I am very much alive," I had to persuade him, "describe me and materialize me." "If I do, the way this reader sees you will not be the same as the one who originally described you." Here...I sit...Damion making me believe that I'm some sort of robot in the form of lines and....and pixels. I can't have it. I won't have it. "I am alive. Tangibly, maybe not, but I am very much alive. I assume that the reader now has an image of me whoever Jake is, in their minds," this was amusing, "you can say that we've succeeded in intruding their minds." Damion ordered a tea, a green tea, and he sat back in his seat, and crossed one leg over the other...like someone dignified and of higher class. Maybe Damion's role in this whole plot is being a #*$&ing prick. "Interesting," he uttered, "others in this sad sad story simply give up and deny their existence...or they don't acknowledge that they do exist. Except you." "How about you?" "I'm guilty of denying," he looked downward, "for years I've denied...and allowed myself to be beaten by her cruel renditions of me. According to this footnote, however," he pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me, "I understood what I really am." In her handwriting it said: Damion, in truth, is a representative of a segment of my past. His circumstances and situation and personality, obviously meshed up into one entity. Part of me is in him, his experiences are not directly experienced by me... in some ways. He also represents some of my oldest desires. "I see," I folded up the piece of paper and returned it to him. "I'm not too far from what others indulge themselves in, others in this particular community, that is." "Where are we anyway?" I need to leave, to tell you the truth, I was creeped out. "Yes...last time we had left you, a large boulder was obstructing your path. I've been sent here to help you get passed it." "Hey," none of this is making any sense, and none of the sentences were connecting, "What do you mean? When you said 'I am not too far from what others indulge themselves in'?" "Take a look at me Jake. Tell the readers who I am." "Okay?" well...Damion...was a man. A young man, slender build...wait, wait,"I can't. I'm staring at you...I feel awkward making up a detailed explanation of you." "Alright then. I'll forget the tea and help you with your boulder now." "Okay." And so we left...I left the teahouse with Damion. We left the town named Emina. Janine whisepered to me, to you, "Spell it backwards."[/FONT]

[COLOR=SlateGray][FONT=Verdana]Hello everyone! I have found a new anime store around my area that sells anime soundtracks for about $9.98 a CD . . . and I'm thinking of purchasing the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack. I would just like to know if this soundtrack is worth buying because the store doesn't accept returns. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=SlateGray][FONT=Verdana]Thanks! I would really appreciate it if someone could help me on this! I just wanna make sure I'm getting my money's worth ^_^[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][FONT=Tahoma][i]Hi folks . . . here's a little something . . . it's quite short I know . . . but hey . . . there's more to a poem than the length of it . . .[/i][/FONT][/COLOR] [SIZE=3][font=book antiqua][color=purple]The other day I saw a worm, And under soil, I saw it squirm. Then I grinned with gleaming eyes, And squashed it flat toward its demise.[/color][/font][/SIZE] [COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][font=tahoma][i]Thank-you[/i][/font][/COLOR]

[FONT=Verdana][COLOR=Purple]Haha this was a funny one . . . it cracked me up . . . very nice satire on the whole Pokemon thing hahaha :laugh: I wonder what the next episode will be like ^_^ I must say . . . this was quite comical ^_^ Nice work![/FONT][/COLOR]

[font=Tahoma][color=darkslateblue] ?I actually saw him?? ?You did??? Ryphe shrugged once again and replied, ?Eh, well not really . . . I just saw two blue dots. Probably the guy?s eyes.? ?So he?s probably a blonde then huh? Only blondes have blue eyes, and some brunettes . . .? ?How about black-haired people?? ?Yeah right . . . that?s very rare. . .? Ryphe chuckled and sipped at the soup that he had brewed himself. He thought quietly and Peatra continued, ?So you saw him huh? That?s amazing. I?m told that no man nor woman has ever got a chance to see him. Unless you?re a special client . . .? ?Oh then there you go. I?ll just go interrogate the guy?s clients.? ?It?s not that easy finding his clients. They seem to not exist.? ?But they do . . . how else would these rumors spread? How else could you think up of the clients in the first place?? Peatra nodded approvingly and took a sip at her soup as well. Then Ryphe said, ?I?ll just pose as his client. I?d have to get in touch with him somehow.? ?But how could you pose as a special client?? ?Well I?ll work something out . . .? Ryphe said. He spooned at his soup thinking about the situation at hand. He added, ?I have to do some traveling to figure this out . . .? ?Alright . . . if that be the case, then I shall arrange for you to travel. We?ll give you a traveling ticket by tomorrow. I?ll call my co-workers right now . . .? Then quite skillfully, she flipped open her cell phone and dialed up a number. Ryphe sipped onto his soup. Minutes later, she closed up her phone and grinned saying, ?Great, I?ve gotten you a traveling ticket so now you can roam around the Kogane Lots as freely as you want. Lot Two is the limit though, and Lot Three might be a little difficult to get into but I?m sure you could manage.? Ryphe nodded and continued eating his soup. Then after a while he asked, ?Hey Peatra, why do you want this guy so bad? His bounty isn?t that high if it?s half . . .? ?But if you give all of the bounty to our company then it would be absolutely significant, and then we?ll be famous for catching the Black Shadow . . . especially you! Don?t you want that? You?ll be famous!? Ryphe shrugged and didn?t answer. He just asked, ?So how do you want him? Dead or alive?? ?Hmm . . . I'll have to think about that . . ." She thought about it for a while then she answered, ?When you catch him, keep him alive. Just bop him on the head or whatnot to keep him down.? ?Heh, alright if you say so.? Then he gulped down the rest of his soup . . . he was eager to travel at that very moment . . . [font=Tahoma][color=black]Ryphe just now realized that it would be difficult to locate such a person. The Black Shadow was known for how unpredictable he was at his murders. But there was a trend that Ryphe found out for himself, that every murder case performed was at the night where it was at its darkest. None of the murders were done on the lower lots during the day even though the atmosphere was still dark. The world was cursed with a never-ending darkness after all. Only the lots with domes provided people with artificial sunlight.[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]So, what was it about the murders happening at the dark of the night? Ryphe had suspected that the Black Shadow was probably a nocturnal worker . . . it would be best to capture him during the day . . .[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]There was one problem with that, however, because Ryphe knew nothing of the man's history, nor anything at all. It was almost as if he had the task of finding a needle amongst other needles. In truth, Ryphe did not know where to start. He was starting to doubt whether he would be able to find such a character.[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]He found himself at Kogane Lot Five in one of the back alley bars. Perhaps the Black Shadow would show up there somewhere in order to do justice on an unfortunate drunkard. He also found himself smoking and feeling hopeless. He never felt so clueless about a mission in his life. Ryphe raised his hand for the bartender and asked for another shot of Traepta.[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]?You?ve already had one too many sir. You shouldn?t drink so much Traepta . . .? the bartender said.[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]Ryphe grimaced and he replied, ?Aw, who cares . . . jus? gimme another wun . . .?[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]The bartender shrugged and poured him another shot of Traepta. Ryphe thanked him and chugged it down in one gulp. He placed the glass down and groggily demanded, ?Keep?em comin,?? and the bartender obeyed. Ryphe continued to drink while he continued to converse with the bartender, ?Ya know? I gotta fin? that Black Shadow bastard . . . buh I dunno where ta start. Ya see? I?ve been tryin? ta fin? him fer a week an? a half awready!?[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]?The Black Shadow eh? He?s pretty hard to find and catch. He?s come in here a few times. Though I haven?t seen him lately,? explained the bartender.[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]?A[i]HA[/i]! Then maybe he?ll come in here [i]tonight[/i]!? Ryphe triumphantly declared.[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]He drank the shot of Traepta and smashed the glass down.[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]?But even if you find him now . . . he?d slice you in half before you get out of your seat . . .?[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]Ryphe turned his head to meet the new voice. He raised a brow and scoffed at the man. He exclaimed, ?How would [i]you[/i] know?? I?m Ryphe . . . I?m as fast as lightnin?!?[/color] [color=black] [/color] [color=black]?If you?re as fast as lightning . . . then the Black Shadow is much faster . . .?[/color] [/font] [/color][font=Verdana][size=1][color=red]Please do not double post; it's against the rules. Next time, simply edit your post. ^.~ -- Lady Asphyxia[/color][/size][/font][/font]

[FONT=Book Antiqua][Color=purple]Oh I'm really glad that you liked it! ^_^ I know it's not really one of my best, but thanks for taking the time to read it . . . I appreciate it ^_^[/color][/FONT]

[FONT=Book Antiqua][color=purple]Truly . . . I could sense your emotion in this poem . . . all in all . . . it's very nice ^_^ I really like it because it's expressive. . . just the way a poem SHOULD be ^_^ Good work ^_^[/color][/FONT]

[font=tahoma][I]This story is really about an assassin with a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder . . . it was kinda funny though, because even before I knew about this particular disorder, I started to write this story. I just realized that the assassin had the lifestyle and symptoms of a "DID" victim . . . weird huh?[/I] ?Hey there ?ole Linden. How?s the old manor?? Ryphe stood at the phone booth, and listened to the man on the other line. He nodded to himself a couple of times and held an unlit cigarette at his fingertips. He spoke again, ?Oh alright. I?m glad to hear that everything is still in tact. I might think of visiting that place again Linden. Maybe in a few days because I gotta get away . . . anyway I?ll let you know in a bit.? He stood there silently again and waited for his turn to speak. It was quiet for a while then Ryphe asked quite hesitantly, and quite softly, ?Um, Linden, can I ask you something? Is um . . . did my old friend ever return? . . . No? Oh alright . . . no I?m just wondering that?s all, we were old buddies once, it wouldn?t hurt to see him again . . . he still has something that belongs to me, and I?d like it back . . .? Another silence and a few seconds later, Ryphe greeted Linden farewell and hung up the phone. He emerged out of the booth, and began to light the cigarette once again. He looked up at the dark sky filled with countless miles of black clouds and sighed . . . ~*~*~*~ Two weeks had coursed on by and still no success in finding the Black Shadow, nor did he have any success acquiring minor info on the mission. But he [I]did[/I] acquire a few pieces of material that should prove helpful, that the Black Shadow never stays fixed in working in one area, that he frequently moves around to other lots and other places to do his killings. Ryphe was discouraged to know that these killings were all done randomly and at a very random place. Nothing linked to the previous murder, nor did the murder link to its predecessor. He had no whereabouts of where the killer lived nor any scent or trail on the Black Shadow. It seemed hopeless for Ryphe, and Peatra was growing quite impatient. There was no pressing Ryphe to work faster at the job because consequently, money wasn?t a motivator for him. Late that night, Ryphe sat alone at the bar and drank a shot of a mild beer. He sighed and began staring off into space once again. He began to question himself and his life. Why was it necessary for him to work anyhow? He had inherited money . . . and other things . . . but what was he looking for anyway? Then he answered his own question that he took this job only to chance upon finding that lost person once again if it were possible . . . Then all of the sudden, Ryphe heard a piercing scream from the outside. Quickly, he rushed his way towards the door, only to be blocked by a couple of other curious onlookers. Ryphe shoved his way through and he finally leaked out of the door, as well as a few others. There on the floor, a mutilated corpse, fresh and recent, lay haphazardly upon the cold concrete. Ryphe immediately searched around, casting his eyes to the atmosphere above him by searching diligently on the rooftops. He heard another muffled scream coming from the nearby alleyway and thus he hurried forthwith, ignoring the screams of the bystanders behind him. He quickly drove himself into the alleyway, and to his benefit, Ryphe caught a glimpse of a glinting blade lodged into the victim?s neck a bit further down the alley. The blade moved and twisted finally silencing the victim forever. From the shadows, Ryphe saw a black boot kick at the bleeding corpse. ?HEY!? Ryphe suddenly blurted out. All of the sudden, Ryphe felt the presence of eyes scratch at his face. He was taken aback and he gasped . . . but then again, he looked twice and saw a blue glint on the killer?s invisible visage. But in a flash, the blue shimmer quickly vanished and the shadow disappeared into the blackness of the night. Ryphe sprinted forward to try and catch up with the shadow but it was too late. The shadow had escaped within a blink of an eye. [/font]

[I][COLOR=Purple][FONT=Times New Roman]Wow . . . there's something about that poem that I really like . . . it's simple, but I love simplicity . . . those are often the best poems right? Just very very nice because it's straight to the point ((and I could relate to it too =P)) ^_^ ~`*`~Weeping Sky~`*`~ So swiftly do I see it fall as the current cleanses every stream that flows from beds of irises, and gently does the wind drift near, singing boldly, but singing softly to lull a violent storm to sleep, when clouds are gray, when skies are dark. And softly do I hear the whispers Of a gentle, falling rain . . .[/FONT][/COLOR][/I]

[font=times new roman]Eventually, after a grueling jog up the one hundred steps, Raijun was the first to make it to the top, and Kito followed after him feeling quite enraged. She sighed and placed her pails and yoke down onto the ground. Horemitsu and Kajiko at once made it to the top as well. "Master," Raijun said, doing a good job at hiding his fatigue, "I have made it to the top with the buckets of water." Following immediately after, Kito quickly stated, "And so have I, Master..." The teacher looked down upon them and replied quietly, "That's good..." Raijun felt a little disappointed that his teacher didn't say more. After all, he was sure that he was the fastest out of all of his classmates, and he was sure that he had put the most effort into climbing up the one hundred steps...unlike Horemitsu and Kajiko who thought nothing of it and treated the task without seriousness. Raijun felt disheartened, but Kito on the other hand, was already used to the teacher's short and blunt comments. Then the teacher Avelias lifted his arm and directed his finger towards the Mokonome Shrine saying, "Now you must clean the wooden floors." Immediately, Kito picked up her yoke and said, "I'll get right to it!" and quickly, Kito rushed towards the nearest building. But with a firm voice, Avelias called after her and said, "Kitokane..." She halted and her body froze. She had just realized that she had committed a mistake...after all, he called her by her full name. She turned to face her teacher, and without looking at her, Avelias said, "I gave no order to leave." Immediately, Kito quickly blushed and felt weak. She wanted badly to put her yoke down. She replied quietly, feeling quite ashamed, "I-I'm sorry, I apologize Master." It was quiet once more, and she could feel Raijun's piercing stare glaring at her in mockery. Then Avelias spoke to his students in the usual calm tone, "You must clean the wooden floors but do not go near the Forbidden Temple. The consequences will be great...you may leave." With that said, the four students carried their yokes with the pails of water to the shrine to clean the floors. Kito fell behind after being so badly humiliated... ~~End of Chapter One~~[/font]

[FONT=Times New Roman] [COLOR=purple][I]I hope that you enjoy this story . . . I keep posting it on the Otaku site that I have but nobody seems to be reading it *sniff sniff* Well I hope that you will take the time to read it, I know it's probably not as good as the others that I see here . . . being that I am a newbie and all *sigh* -_-; So I hope that you enjoy again when you read this . . . oh um, only if you want to, I won't force you! ^_^;;;[/COLOR][/I][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]~Chapter One~ It's been about six years since Avelias stayed with Kito's family, and for those six years, he remained as quiet as ever. Now the young boy was a grown man at twenty-one and he lived in peace, working for Kito's grandfather at the family shrine and at the family dojo. He had a few students at the dojo, though he seldomly spoke...a perfect guardian of the Spirit Sword... Avelias only had four students and Kito was one of them. There was Horemitsu, a young dilinquent coerced to learn a technique that would control his outbursts of temper. There was Kajiko, a young boy who sought to lessen his pride and live in more humility, and then there was Raijun, a quiet fellow as well. And though Avelias scarcely spoke, thus hiding his affections from all of his students, he secretly favored Raijun. After all, Raijun was more like him, and more submissive to Avelias' commands. The problem was, since Kito knew her teacher more than any of her classmates, she knew of the favoritism that Avelias held for Raijun. Was it because he was a better fighter? Was it because he was always obedient and much more skilled? Kito's questions were never fully answered, but she had often thought that Raijun was just a first class suck-up. In other words, jealousy fueled her hatred for Raijun...and the cause of her jealousy was perfectly valid...or so she thought... So Kito sought to improve her skills and discipline in order to surpass Raijun. She could not help but feel competitive at times, especially when they were commanded to perform simple tasks. On a warm sunny day in the late spring, the four students were commanded to fetch some water at the stream which ran at the foot of the hill. All four were commanded to wear a yoke onto their shoulders and fill the two pails with water, then hurry their way up the hill. It should not have been too hard of a task, but Kito always found herself in a struggle to run up the hill...because she was just a girl. Nevertheless, she was motivated to defeat Raijun. After they were commanded to leave, the four of them quickly hurried down the long flight of steps. Kito concentrated on placing her foot onto each step as she rapidly descended. Horemitsu was at her side a few seconds later and as he ran, he asked her, "What's the purpose of this? I see no purpose in it." "Just do it!" Kito quickly replied, and her eyes focused on Raijun who was pulling forward past her with unimaginable ease. She narrowed her eyes and quickened her pace, cautious of each step, and in the process, she left Horemitsu. The flight down the hundred steps was easy enough and all four of them reached the foot of the hill rather quickly. Kito and Raijun were the first ones to make it to the stream, while Kajiko and Horemitsu lagged behind. "It'll be hard going up those steps," Kajiko said as he approached Raijun who was quickly filling up both pails. Kajiko then added, "I'll die for sure. These pails are gonna be heavy!" Raijun hastened to place the yoke onto his shoulders after he finished. He mumbled to Kajiko, "Good luck then...I'll see you at the top later..." Kajiko only grinned and said, "Not if I can help it." "Shuttup you two, I'll get there first!" Kito proclaimed, pulling ahead after quickly putting the yoke onto her shoulders. Raijun watched her and sought to catch up. The two of them quickly made their way up the steps, and Horemitsu and Kajiko watched them. "Kito's been a little competitive lately," Horemitsu observed as he hauled the yoke up to his shoulders. Then he quickly followed after Raijun and Kito who were already a couple steps up the stairs of one hundred. Kajiko remained at Horemitsu's side and jokingly, he replied, "Perhaps those two have a thing for each other, because it's always Raijun competing with [I]her[/I]." "I thought it was the other way around," Horemitsu said, already feeling a little fatigued as he ascended. "Well," Kajiko continued, also feeling fatigued, "I guess you're right...Raijun's not really someone...who wants...to compete..." "But did you see...the look...in his eyes just now?" The two of them were panting from the strain but they continued to ascend. Kajiko ran up a few steps, then he eased down to a slower gait. He saw up ahead that Raijun and Kito were still struggling to pass each other. Kajiko began to take huge gaping breaths, trying to endure the pain at the same time. He spoke to Horemitsu to ignore the pain. "I didn't see it. What did he look like?" Kajiko asked. Horemitsu flashed him a tired grin and he replied, "He gave her...a look of contempt...then he hurried to catch her at the stairs..." Kajiko laughed and so did Horemitsu. Up ahead, Raijun succeeded forward and was the first. Kajiko clearly saw Kito's struggles to surpass him, but unfortunately, she could not. She slowed down, while Raijun steadily jogged up, gradually pulling further away from Kito. Obviously, she gave up, and the unbearable weight upon her shoulders did little to soothe her frustration. ~~To Be Continued~~ [/FONT]

[I][COLOR=crimson][b]Melody[/b] Showered with soft rain, Embraced by the night's first kiss, A heart sings in pain. As sweet as a rose, Stealing onto gentle dreams, Voice in solemn prose. Eyes awake to see, A pale and majestic moon, But always empty. The rain falls softly, Like tears upon broken glass... A sweet melody, A mournful ballad...[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=darkred] [B][i]Untitled Poem[/b] A severed heart, a severed mind, And here I sit, on grounds unkind. Eyes yearn to shut, and yearn to dry, But always will the whispers lie. This soul, it pines, and long it yearns, This burning tempest forever churns. And from afar your shouts are heard. But near are whispers quite less preferred. The question stands, will you remain? In longing to keep your dreams sustain? Will your heart pound, will it still resound, To pursue your hopes and dreams abound? The iris rests, and waits for light, A light to keep the dreams aflame...[/i] [/COLOR] [COLOR=purple]Yeah...these are my awesome poems haha...feel free to criticize...[/COLOR] :love: