Mimmsicle

[font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]In all honesty, I have to say that this is not the best work from you that I've read. There are shining moments (the first stanza is [i]very[/i] promising and "[color=black]Geo met ry[/color]" is spot on) but I don't feel that you lift off properly. [/color][/size][/font] [size=1][font=Verdana][color=#800000]T[/color][/font][font=Verdana][color=#800000]hen again, you are referring to [b]math[/b], a subject that is very much detained (or at least that's my view on it), so perhaps my judgement is unfair ?[/color][/font][/size] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size][/font]

[size=1][color=#800000]You have simplicity in the latest batch of banners, which I like ^_^[/color][/size] [size=1][color=black][b]Peace Maker[/b] banner[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The text is somewhat difficult to make out in the first one, however. I don't know if that's up to the font, or the color. Other than that, I like how it's boxed in, how everything is placed, the image and color.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=black][b]The Yellow[/b] banner [/color][/size][size=1][color=#800000]I don't feel that the image is correctly added, (I compared the size to [b]Peace Maker[/b] and saw that the yellow banner is indeed more compressed), and that image looks like it needs more space.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The text being yellow does not work completely either. Were it the same proportions as Peace Maker, I might not have any problems with it *shrug*[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000][color=black][b]The Purple[/b] banner[/color] [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Also has the proportions problem with the image, but it's not so bad in this one. The only objection I would have is that the "Hyuga Hinata" text could be taken down ever so slightly, making the line that runs behind it go" through" it. If that makes sense ?[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]And once again, you've framed it without being too obvious. Nice.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000] [size=1][color=#800000]It looks like you've used the same basic design for [color=black]the [/color][color=black]Yellow and the Purple[/color] ?[/color][/size] [/color][/size] [size=1][color=black][b]The Red[/b] banner[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The last banner .... I'm not sure what I think of it. The character looks too playful to have such a dark backdrop, but I'm not familiar with Naruto ^_^; [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The text having the same color as the background does not work fully. In my oppinion. Though I like how you've placed it and "framed" it. The image works well in this banner, so no complaints about that ^_^;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I like your banners, keep it up *nods*[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]I lack words to praise this piece. It felt like Shakespeare, incomprehensive (meaning I cannot fathom what to say about it, not that I didn't get the story) and gorgeous.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I'm sure there's someone else who can analyze this properly, but I'm just going to take it in and enjoy it without pretences.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]*hurries to reply* [/color][/size] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]The first one felt rather flat, yes. It still had a good story, but it lacked life.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]Second story was ornate, it felt truly dramatic (like the subject it dealt with). So you hit the feel of it quite accurately.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]I am still curious to see the final product, though. To follow this process from beginning to end.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]On the subject of writer's block... whenever I've been blocked, I either keep at it and approach my writing from different angles.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]Or... I just leave it and engulf myself in music/tv/computer.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]But I've never had it too bad, luckily.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size][/font]

[size=1][color=#800000]It took me a while, but I got through it. It does feel disturbingly realistic at first, but on a second reading you know what to expect and can brace yourself for it. Very much like the boy in the story, or so I think.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]You mix in a lot of "reference points", from both litterature and movies. It's tied into the story, but sometimes it's dangerously close to taking the edge off it. Although, this story is a walk on the edge... so it all makes sense, in a twisted sort of way.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]I love stories like these, where you are given a few minutes of a characters life. There were a few repetitions that I spotted, but I'm not giving them any time of day (heh). [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]You did great in describing the feel and surrounding, there was a good flow to the story telling and as with your other work - I really enjoyed it.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Thumbs up, Shin. Really.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]It's really difficult to sum up your personality/place in the world with only a few words. So whatever I put down is obviously only a fraction of reality, in total. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I guess I'm like a car. The keys are always in the ignition and if you fuel me up, I'll take you where you want to go.... now for the more serious answer =P[/color][/size] [b][size=1][color=#800000]Offline[/color][/size][/b] [size=1][color=#800000]I guess I'm a drifter, in the sense that I never belonged to a single "clique". Maybe I'm approachable, or people see some quality in me that can be applied in multiple groups. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Being polite, friendly and open never did me any harm *shrug*[/color][/size] [size=2][color=#800000][size=1]There is a level of reservation and I keep on guard[/size] [size=1]([font=TIMES NEW ROMAN]unconsciously sometimes[/font]), so it's only with people that I feel completely comfortable around that I let go of the reigns and share myself with . [/size][/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I might appear stand-offish to some, who knows. But for the most part, I'd say I'm "an easy target for communication and socialization" *lol* Looking sweet, childish and innocent seems to score with a lot of people 0:][/color][/size] [b][size=1][color=#800000]Online[/color][/size][/b] [size=1][color=#800000]Bye-bye inhibition *lol* [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I think it's the fact that one can walk away so easily from this place, that makes it feel safer than "the real world". [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]So I'm [i]very[/i] open online, [i]even more[/i] approachable, etc.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I can never say for sure how people percieve me, but I would hope that they view me as being friendly and available. Maybe I come off as more ditzy online, though that doesn't bother me. There's enough time to be both serious and playful ^_^[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]I feel compelled to reply ^_^;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000][b]Digi Charat:[/b][/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I really like this one - the only objection I'd have is with the text. It would've looked nice on one line, instead of divided. But that's just personal preference. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Everything else looks great - from the scanlines, the swirly streamers (my dictionary calls them that *shrug*) and the colors. Nice one ^_^[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000][b]Sasuke person:[/b][/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I can't really point to one thing that disturbs my enjoyment of viewing this banner. But it's a bit too bright on his left side, compared to how dark it is on the right side. Though it serves for the eyes to be drawn to all of the banner, instead of just one spot. So it's both negative and positive ^_^;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The image doesn't stand out enough to compete with the lines that run up to him. It could be more defined. In my humble opinion (of course)[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]But I like the overall effect you've created. *nods approvingly*[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000][b]Kakashi person:[/b][/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The image is a little grainy and the sprite feels out of place in the banner. The motions detract from the stillness that the blue background achieved in the previous banner, which I don't know if you aimed to replicate in this one ?[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]My comments may come off as putting your work down, which I don't mean to do. I simply see a few things that stand out. Your banners are great to look at, so keep at it ! ^_^[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]Considering you've named the piece "Morbid", I feel safe to say that it looks rather grotty. I think it's perhaps the colors, they just scream ickyness (you may insert object that has those colors and is icky here).[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]It works, however. There's no avoiding looking at that banner and not feel/think something. So despite the fact that I'm slightly grossed out at what it triggers in my brain, it's really good.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The muted colors enhance the mood of the banner and the placing of text feels right too. I'm just wondering if there's any thought behind the banner, ie what went through your head as you started making it ? Did you work from a specific idea ?[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]This piece turned out different from what I imagined it, upon my early browse through.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I like how you've taken time and shown a way it can work in your writing. You jump from many different times and to and from, but in a way never leave the circular form (or whatever form time would have)... it is only one time - time itself.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Is there more to this story ? Since it feels like more could happen within this span, or maybe that's how you want to leave the reader ? [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Good work, Mitch.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[color=#800000][size=1][size=1][font=Verdana]When I first saw it, I immediately thought of a movie screen. Nice effect with the bordering and placing of text. I liked that very much ~_^[/font] [font=Verdana][color=#800000]The red color is yummy, it's deep and it pulls you in. I actually didn't notice the blotch of orange until you pointed it out, but I imagine that it helps to draw the eye into the centre. Nice move *nods*[/color][/font][/size] [size=1][font=Verdana][color=#800000]The image resembles many things - spider web, a nerve centre. The list goes on. [/color][/font][/size] [size=1][font=Verdana][color=#800000]I like how you've gone from a specific idea (even though you claim to have lost it in the process) and tried to get something across. The results show effort and dedication.[/color][/font][/size] [size=1][font=Verdana][color=#800000]Very good Kenji ![/color][/font][/size] [size=1][font=Verdana][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/font][/size] [/size][/color]

[size=1][color=#800000]Haha ! I shall post here as well, for I am ... here >_>;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Using water as a symbolism is quite effective. Very good.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]As a child one is captivated by it and long to know what's hiding in the murky depths, or you play that game with the pebbles - counting how many skips it makes. It's all play.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]But as you grow older, that innocence is lost. You know the powers of the water, its potential destructiveness. The stone may skip further now, but you know that ultimately it will sink.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I [b]loved[/b] this poem. Truly I did. I just have difficulty properly analyzing it differently. But I'm sure others will put their thoughts in here and perhaps offer something new ~_^[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]Reading this made my head spin... and "[/color][color=#800000][color=black]the desolate shatter and the open plain[/color]" still brings tears to my eyes.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Your poems have lost none of their early touch, they still do their thing and do it all the same.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I'll touch on a few of them:[/color][/size] [color=#800000][size=1]I like how you've tried new ways with your execution, like "[color=#000000][b]bloomovariesblew[/b][/color][color=#800000][b]"[/b]. It makes the reader look more at what is written, demanding attention.[/color][/size][/color] [color=#800000][size=1]As did "[color=#000000][b]swampthingman[/b][/color][color=#800000]". Though, you lost me there. Maybe because I was so fatigued, I don't know. I shall read it when I am more clear, for reference point.[/color][/size][/color] [size=1][color=#800000]"[color=black]Broken Combob[/color] I" really stands out. It is direct, powerful, straight from the source. I very much like this one *nods[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]"[color=black]II[/color]" is also close to what you created in "[color=black]I[/color]". It's got the same honesty in its deliverance. And I can also relate to it, that makes it even more appealing.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]"[color=black]IV[/color]" mirrors what it says. Short sentences, filled with what feelings that lay behind. Simply right.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]"[color=black]V[/color]"[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]This one feels very foreign, but not in a bad way - by no means... it's just that I've not seen many poems like this from you. It shows that you are versatile. It's a very serene poem.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I'm sure I have more to say, simply not today. But feed us more, Mitch. For we are hungry souls.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]I really liked both... so it was a touch decision =\[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000][b]Kinetic's[/b] was really fun and vibrant - I loved the use of colors, and text blocks. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]For some reason it feels like you've got too much going on in it. At first I thought it was "euphoria" and "spasmooic nerve" that overdid it, but the more I look at it... the less certain I get. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Sorry that I can't be more specific than that ^_^;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000][b]Kenji's[/b] was clean-cut and muted. Soothing on the eyes. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]It looks like there is a text line in the middle of the image, but I can't make out if it's supposed to say anything. I'm kind of not liking that >_>;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]It was really close, but Kenji got my vote this time ^_^;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]The title is very fitting, how the place of safety in some cases is an emprisonment - keeping you away from life.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]And when one has been cradled into serenity by this realm, one starts to look at what what was left or is yet to be explored.... but until the courage has been gathered to leave the monotonous and restraining enviroment, one is stuck in this Prison Sanctuary.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Very good poem, the "lack of rhyming" was unnoticable. It flowed nicely and created soft imagery.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi ^_^[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]Heh, I was beaten to replying to the previous poem... so I'll just go with this one =P[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]And as always when I read something that strikes that part of me that can only feel, not express, I will probably make no sense ^_^; [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]It seems like the first puppet is constantly craving something more (and I'm guessing it get's what he wishes for ?) and it still isn't satisfied.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]The other puppet wants only the one thing, but does it get freedom ? Or is it expressing how that is all it needs, to be happy ?[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]I'm sure one can read it as one pleases, I'm just curious as to what you were thinking as you wrote it ~_^[/color][/size] [size=1][color=black]"We're pulling the strings"[/color] [color=#800000]... yes, we decide whether or not we are happy with what we have/get. Sometimes we are content with our sitatuation, at other times we demand what we think will make us happier.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]This was a very good read, I don't know how else to put it. It was very subtle, but was right on the beat of what it wanted to say. Sweet. Very sweet ^_^[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size]

[font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]I am just about to go through your previous poems, but I wanted to comment on this last installment first.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][color=#800000][size=1]Though I am not sure how, since it sank into the deepest reaches of my mind, where words cannot express the imagery and thoughts triggered by what I read....[quote][/size][size=1][i][color=#483d8b]On the wrong side of the looking glass [font=Verdana]View all that?s real and true[/font][/color][/i] [font=Verdana][color=darkslateblue][i]The one and only catch is that[/i][/color][/font] [font=Verdana][color=darkslateblue][i]There?s nothing you can do[/i][/color][/font] [/quote]Yes, you see it - but are unable to change it. We often see things when it is too late, or we do not know how to make it stop/change.[quote][/size][size=1][i][color=#483d8b]Yell and scream for all your might [font=Verdana]Cry ?til your tears are gone[/font][/color][/i] [font=Verdana][color=darkslateblue][i]The others will remain unable[/i][/color][/font] [font=Verdana][color=darkslateblue][i]To awake to reality?s dawn[/i][/color][/font] [/quote]Because they're on the other side of the glass *nods* And until they look through the mirror, beyond the glass - they will not hear you, or harken to your cries.[/size][/color][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]There is so much to look at and think about in this poem, I simply displayed some of it. Very good, indeed.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi ^_^[/color][/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]It's nice to see a new interpretation of the word "[i]monster[/i]" and "[i]telepathy[/i]". [/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]I very much liked reading this, for it gave me a new outlook on parts of life. Whether it be my own, or someone elses.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]There are so many passages in this that strike me, but I'll narrow it down to these:[quote][color=#000000]I love the way you whisper to me in your mind while I'm typing this even though I don?t know who you are.[/color][/quote][quote][color=#000000]It's like this: we all have monsters in us. I just choose to make my monster one that eats words.[/color][/quote][/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size][/font]

[b][size=1][color=#800000]Halfway[/color][/size][/b] [size=1][color=#800000]Ah, the moment before the moment. Where you've taken one step and think of the consequences and possibilites of that move. And you want what you are moving [b]to[/b], to move to [b]you[/b]. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Solemnly beautiful.[/color][/size] [b][size=1][color=#800000]Wasting[/color][/size][/b] [size=1][color=#800000]Live in the moment, see the future without focusing too heavily on it. And Explore. [/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Yeah, I don't know what I'm writing here. Haven't read the book, but the poem was [i]really[/i] good. I just don't feel that there's anything to add to it. Rawr.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi ^_^[/color][/size]

[color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]"Newspaper"[/b][/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]I just loved this one, how you show one use of a paper (functioning as nothing more than something to catch up debree from decorating a room... I think) subtly pointing out how we ignore the troubles it speaks of. And yes, that's how it is unfortunately. What we read in the papers is a perception of a reality, not reality itself. And not many read it, or between the lines. [/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]Rawr on you ~_^[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]"Start"[/b][/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]Once again you hit us with the hidden meanings ~_^ Sure, it can be read as playing a video-game, but also relationships. Life is very much like a video-game, and it is also not. The buttons used to control the game can sometimes be missing, or out of reach. Or you lost the manual and frantically hit the wrong buttons over and over again.[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]I was grinning delightfully when I read this one. [/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]"Shame"[/b][/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]When one is alone, the shame does not feel apparent -whereas when you're in the company of others, you're constantly reminded of it ?[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]And to overcome something, you must do it alone - or you won't feel that the accomplishment was a step forward.[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]This was slighlty different from your other poems. I'm not sure why. [/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]"Pretty Shadows"[/b][/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]What seemed like a safe place, turned out to be more frightful than what you sought refuge from ? (shadows/refuge shields you from the sun/pain, but the shadows/refuge was only a mirage, something created by the sun/pain ?).... yes, I am still tired ^_^;[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]"A Kiss"[/b][/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]So much pain that can be derived from pleasure. Gorgeous.[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]"Lover"[/b][/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]And just like secrets, the longer you keep them, the more you question their origin and their intent. [/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]"Heart"[/b][/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]Oh the imagery, the feel. When we think of Love, we imagine it as a Heart - and a blow to the heart will most likely kill you. Yes.[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]I cannot even write anything sensible about this one. Pure beauty.[/color][/size][/font][/color] [color=deeppink][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi[/color][/size][/font][/color]

[size=1][color=#800000]The first story - It was filled with description, yet I didn't feel too bogged down by it. Well done.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]Oddly enough, the more you pushed the fact that this was a dumb creature, the more I tried to read intelligence into his thoughts and actions. I don't know if that was your intent.[/color][/size] [size=1][QUOTE=Mitch][/size] [left][size=1][font=Verdana]All it wants to do is escape into the depths of the ground, the cold cool ground, and be safe. It must forget the sun?must get away from its prying, ever radiant, ever warming ephemeral gaze. It must find suitable ways to last. [/font][/QUOTE][/size][size=1][color=#800000]I read that as the sun being [b]life[/b] and its rays being the [b]reality[/b]. Very interesting.[/color][/size][/left] [left][size=1][color=#800000]There's so much to say about it, yet I find it difficult to express anything in particular. The pace was soothing, you put it a lot of meaning into what on the surface looks like a mere story. Very enjoyable.[/color][/size][/left] [size=1][color=#800000][left][b][color=black]"The Nobodies and Moana Jane"[/color][/b][/left] [left]A slight change in execution, once again. It feels like every new story is tinted with something new, a different side of you. [/left] [left][font=Verdana][color=#000000][quote]Soon they were all fighting over what made Moana most beautiful. Eyes said it was her eyes, Leg her feet, Brain her intelligence, and of course, Arm her arms. Too bad they didn't know it was everything that made her beautiful.[/quote][/color][/font][/left] [left][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#800000]Favourite line, though the entire story is very well balanced and written.[/color][/size][/font][/left] [font=Verdana][size=1][left][b][color=black]"The Pig of the Machine" (The Desolate Shatter and the Open Plain)[/color][/b][/left] [left]Like I've mentioned before, this one made me weep. The mix of beauty and utter pain was truly a rollercoaster for the mind. That is all I can say.[/left] [left]- Mimmi[/left] [/size][/font][/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#800000]Forgive me, but you are all wrong about Billy Boyd being the male actor in "Hetty Wainthrop Investigates" ^_^;[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]It was [b]Dominic Monaghan[/b], who played young Geoffrey Shawcross.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=#800000]On the topic of British television.... I enjoy the sharp, sometimes biting humor that Brits deliver. Even the cookery/decorating shows are full of fun.[/color][/size] [color=#800000][size=1][b]BBCPrime[/b] rocks my socks ^__^[/size][/color] [size=1][color=#800000]- Mimmi ^_^[/color][/size]

[quote]Shin woke up in a soft bed. He debated with himself whether or not to remain in the [u]comforting[/u] warmth of the blankets, but decided that it would be best to get going. Shin stood up, stretched and put on his shirt. ?That was the best night?s sleep I?ve had in a long while,? Shin mused. ?Haven?t slept in a bed that [u]comfortable[/u] since the old days.? [/quote][color=darkred]Comfort twice ? Other than that, it's a great opening ! ^_^[/color][quote]He grasped the doorknob of the front door and began to turn it when he felt a hand placed upon his shoulder.[/quote][color=darkred]Maybe add that he's turning to face her, because I assume that he does that ?[/color][quote]?Thank you very much,? she said. ?Are you sure you wouldn?t care to stay for [u]breakfast[/u]?? ?You sure you want me staying for [u]breakfast[/u]?? Shinmaru asked. ?Well, you seemed pretty [u]hungry[/u] last night,? Karen remarked. ?I?m not really that [u]hungry[/u],? Shinmaru said. Immediately after that, his stomach growled loudly. Shin grinned sheepishly at Karen, who laughed a bit. ?I guess I am a little hungry. I?ll stay for breakfast, then.? Karen walked over to her kitchen and Shin followed closely behind her. [/quote][color=darkred]Repetition ^_^; You could leave it as it is, because you'd probably end up having to re-write it to make it come together without using "hungry" and "breakfast" twice and it's not really needed. I'm just being over critical here, really >_>; Apart from that, I really thought it was a good conversation you got there, with the actions meshed into it ^_^ [size=1]**********[/size] There's a lot of humor in this story and you've got the interaction between characters down pretty good (read [i]very good[/i]). The stuff that I pointed out were really minor issues, but I just had to put my finger on them :p It sounds bad to say that I'm surprised at how well you write stories, but that's just because I've not read much from you before this one. I've read the poetry stuff, but it's not the same ? you know ? I look forward to following this story ? but take your time, I am patient when I need to be ~_^ - Mimmi[/color]

[COLOR=darkred]I won't get into the debate about whether or not this is possible, since many things have been deemed unreachable in the past and we've gone beyond it regardless. However, personally I would never want to be hooked up to any kind of device, nor would I care to exchange what goes on in my brain [i]directly[/i] with another persons brain. Like James pointed out, it would take some serious engineering skills [size=1](and possible self control)[/size] to sort out what is transmitted and not. And furthermore, it's not just [i]one[/i] thought that crosses your mind when you think about something. There's usually an erray of thoughts, connected to that question/situation that you're reacting to. When you're speaking to somene, or typing for that matter, you automatically choose what to put out there. It's really not that hard. [size=1](unless you're born with a foot in your mouth, but that's a tangent)[/size] Imagine having to more [b]activly[/b] push those thoughts away, to make sure you control the conversation ? To contantly be on guard, as to not let a mental sigh crack the eardrums of the one you are talking to ? Surely that would discourage communication, rather than make it easier ? In my humble,[i] innocent[/i] opinion ~_^ - Mimmi[/COLOR]

[COLOR=darkred]Whee, score for me >_>; The things is, Charmi dearest, that all the people reading your poetry gets stunned by their beauty and end up dumbfounded. The same goes for me, so I have to have my evil German twin type for me, [i]alles klar Liebling[/i] ? ~_^ [b]"Night"[/b] It's intriguing to see you write poetry that you usually don't do, it means that you don't limit yourself to what you think you do best. And I must say that you pulled off the serene effect of the early/late hours [i]perfectly[/i], my heart beat calmly as I read that ^_^ [b]"Rain"[/b] This is one of those poems that just hit me in a place where words don't exist, only sensation. It is a tornado of emotions, yet peaceful in it's execution. A scene, a painting, a moment was captured in that poem. And all I can do, is stare at it and allow it to take me over. [b]"Losing It"[/b] So very true, Charmi. I wish there were ways for me to express what goes on in my mind as I read your poetry, but alas I cannot speak the workings of my inner core very well. At some point the falling is so natural and it even becomes the expected event by those around you. So you fall/get pushed and you are caught/hit the ground, until something changes. The novelty of seeing you fall and be there to catch you, has faded, is no longer the main objective. Or you fall too quickly and slips the arms that meant to safely guide you back up. The fear that you weren't forced to face before, seizes its opportunity, devours you; and you slip from the ground you actually had, albeit unknown/beyond conscious awareness. The loneliness [i]you[/i] embrace is a place where you are not lonely, because you chose it yourself. But when you are [i]thrown[/i] into the shadows intentionally, it is a lonelier deal evermore. [b][size=1]**********[/b][/size] I do enjoy your work, immensely so. Passt gut auf dich auf, Charmi Liebling ^_^ - Mimmi[/COLOR]