KarmaOfChaos

[color=deeppink][size=1]"Except AzureWolf, who hated v7." I loved that part. Dry humour is so great. I also love the way you played with words, like in these two parts: "Adam inspected the object very carefully, being careful not to touch anything but the borders around it to make sure he didn?t accidentally click on the link and get spirited away to some far-off place. Or to make sure he just didn?t get Spirited Away. He already had it on DVD." It's so matter-of-fact, which is what makes it so amusing. "Everyone exchanged concerned looks. Nobody seemed to want to trade, though." I had to go back and reread that part to understand what it meant, but when I got it, it was really funny. The manipulation of multiple meanings of a phrase/word is such a neat quirk of your writing style. ^-^ Can't wait for the next chappy. Oh, and lots of love for Lady K, she's the best! -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]First shot at metaphorical/symbolic storytelling through poetry. [b]The Goddess[/b] And it was better to remain the beautiful tragedy Like a translucent goddess defiant of gravity She is lost in the subconscious of broken intent Deep within the house of mirrors and malcontent. She shimmers, imbrued with hope and fear Breathing another brand of confusion into the atmosphere Creating a silken-coloured string of systems Turning and twisting with ethereal gears and pistons A world all her own bleeding simmering feeling Her luscious lips kiss in a willful sealing Planets collide and stars divide at her fingtertips Each touch an artful stroke of crypts. In this crazed and maddened passion She alighted upon a dark fool chastened To a markered, ancient door Ceded; as his blood seeped to the floor. And with a curious stare and questioning gaze She tilted her eyes to his scar-red face, And she whispered right to his ear "My love, what are you doing here?" But before the answer could be spilled from his lungs A stark and seething figure cut the cord and hung The fool from his darkened door And proclaimed, "Goddess do not linger more!" The ever-patterned figure stood Melding melted metal and wood With hearts and souls in chambered sanctums And to her he seemed a walking aslyum. Fate trickled his frozen hands against her warmer flesh And she glared, her expression defiance and raged meshed Ripping the figurine from his arrogant invasion Her nails leaving pattern torn and full of tiny abrasions. Then a little girl so sanctimoniously appeared Laden with obnoxiously humble, forgiving tears And a simple acceptance of knowing more than the rest With letter'd Destiny scrawled silver upon her breast. And lifting this angel from Heaven's high stance She threw her unceremoniously into the glass Walls of reflection and stranger coincidence Shattering the image of perfected innocence. The goddess, grinding her porcelain heel Into their ephemeral mass now unconcealed Was suddenly brought down by the still shifting patterns Of Fate's guided mistake in to the glass and battered. Now the three transcendant beings Collapsed--killed by the broken breathing Her fall into the bleeding pit which breeded Death and masochistic thought unheeded. And with the picture painted; all said and done They lay entwined, the picture unsure of who had won. - - - - - Thoughts and opinions welcome, as always. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]It's an interesting idea - if done appropriately it can be very amusing, and if you decide on one or more particular "serious" themes (I would suggest at least one) to loosely base a "plot" on, it can be a unique and effective way of making a point. (For example - bring your characters round and round a point untill they finally come to a conclusion and/or wall which none of them expected. This surprises readers and proves a point.) However, wouldn't it be wiser to just wait until you had part of the story done so you could post it, instead of just starting an "oh I have this idea" thread? If you're looking for more material for the story, I would suggest renting "Melvin Goes To Dinner", it's based on a somewhat similar idea. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]The song had a nice rhythm to it, reminiscent of Linkin Park. However, the problem with posting songs on online forums is that there is no way to hear the melody to them, and melodies are very important. They can add thousands of new dimesions, moods, tones, and meanings to a song. Without a melody, the lyrics seem rather cliche. Your POV (point of view) is also confusing. Are you blaming yourself or the other person for the problems that obviously exist? It seems almost as if you are bitter towards the [i]memory[/i] of someone, which you cannot let go of, and it tears at your sanity, because you want to release yourself but in the same breath don't. The last stanza was interesting though, and well-suited for a song. The parenthesis show the reader that this is background voice, but also very important. I like this effect. This would be a decent song if given an appropriate melody. -Karma[/color][/size]

[color=deeppink][size=1]You're a good artist, Syk3. Again, 'Shhh' is my favorite. The eyes (eyelids?) struck me as especially well done. I can't wait to see this one in charcoal. The second one was good for a sketch, but, as you noted, the lips are little off. The hand was drawn nicely with good proportions, and I liked the toned-down colors. ;) So what'd you get on the project? -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1][b]Wear comfortable shoes.[/b] It's not just the standing in line...it's the massive amounts of walking. Regardless of how comfortable your shoes are, your feet will probably be hurting by the end of the day, but with comfortable, sole and heel supporting shoes, it shouldn't happen until much later in the day, and it won't be nearly so bad. Also, if you don't want to spend a lot of money on food at the convention, bring store-bought snacks or homemade stuff if you can. Food is expensive at cons. (Two dollars for a 20 oz soda...I. don't. think. so.) Oh, and one last thing - [b]have fun![/b] -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]For those of you who visit the art forum, these two pieces are part of the same project as "The Womb". In the Free Choice part of it, we are allowed to do artwork, prose, persuasive pieces, etc - basically whatever we feel most comfortable doing. I like artwork and narrative prose, so that's where I'm focusing my efforts. These two stories are part of my Free Choice. I'm looking for constructive criticism here, so any areas that you can point out as particularily bad or good would be extremely helpful to me. Also, grammar and spelling errors - I went through with spell check, and then did several manual checks, but there's always those one or two mistakes that you don't catch. I want to improve them so I can get the best grade possible, so once again, comments with thought are greatly appreciated. [b]The Death of the Broken Heart[/b] She leveled the gun at the girl in the mirror. There was so much pain in that face, so many bitter memories and dreams that had been warped and twisted into nightmares. A whimper escaped her red, wet lips, and she almost collapsed onto the floor again. Swallowing down the sobs and nearly choking, she stood up once more, wiping her running nose with the edge of an already dirty sleeve. ?Fool?you?re such a fool,? she whispered, her voice laden with shame and guilt, ?How could you fall like that to the same old trap? Boys never have any good intentions. They just want to slip and slide into your pants and then walk away without even glancing back. Or worse yet, keep you hanging, keep you dangling on that fragile thread of hope that you hold so dearly?? her voice died down. ?And you fell for it!? she screamed suddenly, looking up, her face mangled with rage, ?You bought into every single empty promise he ever gave you! Like a desperate whore, you clung to those promises. And look what happened. He cut the thread, with sharp and shining scissors, and the fall now has nearly killed you. Your pathetic little broken heart is nothing but a joke; can you see how sad it looks? That weak, tiny heart, barely beating, as he walks away arm in arm with another girl. It?s disgusting, how pitiful it is!? Her breathing now came in gasps, and her racing pulse was shallow, hardly there beneath the pale skin. Angry tears streamed down from eyes clenched shut, irritating her red, swollen face even more. The gun shook in her hand, and then fell to her side, and she sank down against the bathroom counter. Lips parted, she emitted a heart-wrenching wail from deep in her throat, then settled into silence. ?Fool,? she murmured again, ?Stupid, naïve, foolish girl.? This lasted for several moments, as she clicked the gun?s safety on and off in a soothing, repetitive motion. Having recomposed herself, she stumbled up again, and faced the mirror. After meeting the girl?s questioning stare, she looked down and sighed. ?Living hurts sometimes. The pain sinks in, becoming a part of me. All around?the air is saturated with melancholy. I can?t seem to escape it; I can?t seem to remember how to smile. No one is happy anymore. Passing friends and faces but no friendly faces because they?ve all got their own pain inside that they hide with lies and shakes of their heads,? her voice was quiet, and she took a moment to think, then continued, ?Home is no better. Home is full of hate and this house gives off an angry black aura for all the screaming within. Screaming?screaming, screaming all day long, screaming at each other, screaming at the walls; screaming to he heard above the rest and screaming just because?of all the taunting, tearing nightmares that plague your silent nights.? She sucked in a deep gasp of air, and then bit down on her lip hard, shoving away more emotion and tears. Exhaling softly, she continued, ?Silent screamer like the butterfly. You spread your beautiful silver-dusted wings to fly far from here, but they?re torn and tattered, fraying into a thousand strings of thoughts of things.? She stood quiet for a moment, tracing designs on the edge of the counter, her mind somewhere else in a dark abyss. Water dripped down from the leaking faucet, and attracted the attention of a calico cat, who strutted into the bathroom unfazed by the girl, and began licking the water up. Invigorated by her new audience, she began again, rushed, as if there was now some great idea upon her, ?Sometimes dreamers in a dreamer?s sleep with naught but nightmares to keep will wake up in a frenzied, maddened passion and demand for something deeper, deeper than the drugs. Not feeling hurts too much now because all you?ve got is that deadened stare with empty eyes and empty sighs and nothing but lies wrapped in white chiffon?? she stopped suddenly, as if the idea had died, now speaking in a quiet voice again, ?No tears will come to those sad, sad eyes. There?s this ache you just can?t place somewhere in the corners of your soul, slowly creeping into the veins and into the brain, and slowly, slowly, driving you insane?Twilight casts a regretful shadow over the nighttime sky and almost whimpers as he pulls closed the curtains on another beautiful wondering. He shutters his eyes, his eyebrows knit tragically, and his frown causes the moon to shed a tear. As his cold, flowing arms enwrap that sweet imperfection, the tear is frozen in the blue-black blood of space and time and becomes another ageless hope, another reason for blind belief in something that never was, and never will be. And so the cycle continues?the death and rebirth of the broken heart.? A well of tears sprung forth as her voice faded, and she could barely speak between the salty, crystalline manifestations of pain. Leaning against the wall, she met the girl?s face in the mirror, which still stood with a question in fatal need of an answer. ?But the saddest, most pathetic thing is?I?m still clinging to the open end of that severed string, still believing in hope. Still believing that he meant those things he promised, that there was honesty beneath his words. Still believing that it?s the distance that kills us. Is that foolish?? The girl didn?t have an answer. [b]The Death of the Broken Heart ? Part II[/b] The gun looked wrong, metallic and deadly in her small, childlike hand. The sight alone made you do a double-take; it was a disruption in vision, something like déjà vu except stranger. The gun and the hand each belonged to a world very different from the other, worlds which should have never met. Yet here they were, entwined, as if they never could have been separate. ?Not everything has a reason,? she murmured. ?Sometimes, most times, it?s all just circumstance and accident and life just seems like somebody?s mistake on the drawing board. The sad things in this world, the horrible, heart-breaking, nightmared things, we?d like to believe they had a purpose. We?d like to believe that God had a reason. But not everything has a reason, the same way that not crying hurts worse. Most times?life isn?t all Shakespeare, with picturesque tragedy that taught us a lesson. Where everyone fell to their knees and wept,? she stared at the gun, then lifted it to touch the mirror?s reflective surface. ?No. Life isn?t always like that,? her breath fogged the glass as she nearly pressed her lips against the gun, ?There?s screaming. Screaming, and hysteria, and that awful, awful silence where everyone?s looking at everybody else but no one meets each other?s eyes?? She shoved her whole body away from the mirror, gun scraping loudly as it grazed by, and her back hit the wall in a loud thump. She hacked up air, her lungs pleading for oxygen. She lifted her eyes in angry defiance, barely visible between her bangs. ?Well here I am!? she screamed, ?Look at me! I dare you to look at me! Look at me in all my bitter anger and resentment and rage and rebellion, stare at me and see my pain. Where?s your answer?! Where?s the answer for all the hurt you?ve caused?!? Her eyes were wild now, and madness crept closer as a sick smile mutated her face, ?Do you hate me? Do you hate me for all the things I remind of you of? Is that why you always look away? Because to meet my gaze would mean facing all your guilt and shame and responsibility! You can?t take that. To you, I am nothing but a blur of memories which you would rather forget. And do you know how that hurts?? Her anger died into depression and self-pity, and she stared at the floor. ?Mommy, why do you push me away, why do you cut at me as if I am some infectious disease?? Brushing hair out of her face and letting it stick to the backs of her ears with sweat, she looked up, asking the ceiling for guidance. The expression in her eyes was a silent outcry asking anyone for help. ?I find rejection thrust in my face no matter where I turn. I find it even in the dark corners of long-forgotten alleyways, where the air is so cold I wonder if I might catch my breath crystallized in the atmosphere. Even the welcoming and friendly hands are only friends in the fairest weather, abandoning me when the rains come, pushing me out from under their shelter,? she lifted the gun and shot once into the ceiling, making the cat sprint out through the door and into the hallway. White plaster dust floated down, christening her eyelashes and hair, settling like a powder on her cheeks and nose. ?The rejection leaves holes all upon my soul; it rips me apart and whispers me worthless in a blissfully spiteful tone. And upon hearing the jeering, smirking whispering screams, you begin to believe them. You believe all the demeaning, degrading shouts, the insults they created to make themselves bigger. I believe them when they tell me I?m dirty, when they tell me I look like a whore. The crowd gathers, poking fun at my shamed stance, at my broken and torn ego,? Silently staring at the ceiling, she turned her head to face the girl in the mirror one more time, ?There?s still that question in your eyes, the question that kills me every time. Why?? The shot echoed into the night sky, and as the mirror shattered into a thousand pieces, the blood dripped down from her forehead. She closed her eyes and smiled, and one last breath slipped out of her lungs as she collapsed onto the cold bathroom tile. ?Why?? [b]End.[/b] Okay guys. Thoughts? (Keep in mind that I am not necessarily the speaker here - the girl is a seperate character, a person all her own, with her own motivations.) -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]I still think the colors are blinding, strong statement or not. But a silk painting [i]would[/i] be cool. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Thanks so much guys, you really made my day by leaving comments that obviously had thought put into them. Solo: I love your idea about having them facing the child rather than looking away. You hit the nail on the head with why the fetus [i]is[/i] so seemingly extraneous from the rest of the piece - it is the physical manifestation of everything else in the picture. Within the fetus all these forces are present and working - the life support system and it's balance of light and dark. While it's supposed to be detached from everything else, the idea of having the angel and demon look at the child is great - it adds unity but still makes very clear the boundries that must exist. Mimmi: I honestly didn't even notice that - the fetus was supposed to simply be above the two human-things, but you're right, it is in the line of the demon's vision, even if it is only peripherally. While it was not my intention for this symbolism, it can be taken as true - humanity does tend to lend itself to the darker, more sinister side of things. Great observation. DeathKnight: Thanks Ken, your approval means a lot to me. I'm glad you like the symbolism. ^-^ Shinmaru: Yea, I definitely didn't want the fetus in the middle, that would change the whole meaning of the piece. The quality of the art could be better, it needs some tweaking, but it's not too distracting from the meaning. [b]Danke euer![/b] (Thanks y'all!) -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1][b]I think they all suck.[/b] Just kidding. But I am really not liking the colors in the first one - they are too bright and obnoxious. I see the effect you were going for, but it's overdone. Good idea though - try lightening up on the colors. Second one was cool, I liked the grainyness effect, but the glare off your face was blinding. Try mixing in some more flesh tones, to once again, lessen to effect of too much of one strong, concentrated color. Third one was my favorite. It's morbid but also meaningful, it reminded me of the matrix. My only complaint is that the face is a little too zoomed in. Maybe try having the face pulled back from the camera a little, with your hair in your face and make your hair all black and wispy (with your mad photoshop skillz.) [b]But just so you know, I still hate you. ;p[/b] -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]I bite my cuticles (the skin on the edges of your nails) and tend to twirl other people's hair. The hair twirling is more like one of those things like sucking your thumb that you do as a kid and it makes you feel safe. I just never grew out of it, lol. ^^;; I also tend to procrastinate...like right now. Does insomnia count as a bad habit? -Karma[/size][/color]

"it is rather odd I must say. I don't quite get the entire peice.. so I'm not quite sure about it. The concept of it, placing of objects, is interesting. I like it. The colouring could use some improvement along with the background. It makes the peice seem empty... " [color=deeppink][size=1]Wow, I didn't expect anyone to respond that fast...I just put the deviantart link there for like, 2 seconds while I could get the picture uploaded to imageshack because 250free wasn't working. But thank you for your comment! The background definitely needs something. Waaaay too much white space...I shouldn't have used regular paper as a background, I should have used black paper or something. But I had to get it finished and white paper was the only thing available so...c'est la vie. There's a little bit too much bright blue and red, and something about the color of the two angels needs fixing but I can't put my finger on it. Sybolism (basic run through): The Heart: The life support system. You can't live without the heart. It's seperated in two, mirroring the the angel and demon below. The Angel: Purity, innocence. Light, life, goodness. The Demon: Evil, jaded, darkness, death. The Child: Birth, creation. The child is connected the life support which stems from good and evil, which are combined. It's the idea of yin & yang - one side cannot survive without the other. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1][url="http://img105.exs.cx/img105/2814/thewomb.jpg"]http://img105.exs.cx/img105/2814/thewomb.jpg[/url][/size][/color] [color=deeppink][size=1][/size][/color] [color=deeppink][size=1]I did this for a project...any comments? It's not the best work ever, but I think it's one of my better ones, aside from a few adjustments that need to be made with color and trying to get rid of some of the more stubborn beginning pencil marks that wouldn't disappear when I just went over with it an eraser. I like the theme. -Karma [color=teal]I gave you the choice between a link and an upload, rather than just having the picture in full size, due to the fact that it enlarges the window size and this way eveything looks nice and neat. You can thank me later. ~_^ -Syk3[/color][/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]First one: Good proportions on the body, and there's nice attention to detail in the clothing, which is always a plus. However her right (well, technically my right, her left) arm seems a bit off. Plus - smudges make a picture look very unprofessional. It's fine if it's just a sketch, but if you're looking for genuine critique, try cleaning it up a bit. Kneadable erasers work wonders. Second one: Not so good proportions. Her hairline is way too low, her eye is way too high (and rather big, even for anime/manga), and her nose is too big. Profiles are, in my opinion one of the hardest angles of a face to do, and take a lot of practice, keep trying, and maybe focus a little more on full front and 3-quarters views before trying to tackle the profile. Keep up the good work. ^.^ -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]I agree 'Silence Is Golden' isn't your best work. Too much white space, and your head is at a weird angle. I really liked 'Gravity' though. You get the whole message of being disconnected across very well. That's a good example of white space used well. You only have the lower half of your face, so eye contact, which is often so important with communication, and the contrast between the white space and your greeness emphasizes being out of sync. 'Suffocation' you've capture the feeling here, but the colors seem a little too warm and happy. Spider - very cool. The grainyness actually improves the picture. You get the feeling of this dreary, not quite there city and this little spider completely in focus, in all his simple perfection. 'All Fun & No Play' Loved the content for the picture, but it seems a little dark. Still, it's great in a very morbid, gothic children playing in the street kind of way. This is a favorite. 'Jubilee' Hands down favorite out of this bunch. There is excellent contrast, and I adore the vibrant colors in the flower. It makes you feel so happy inside. Pure joy. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Short and sweet. I found myself laughing out loud a couple times reading this chapter, it's nice to see the old humour. And I totally empathasize with Nobuhiro. Cold weather's a bitch. * snuggles into warm bathrobe * -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]This is absolutely hilarious, Alex. I just about died laughing the first time you showed it to me. Maybe you can con one of the mods to use it in one of the stupider threads they close? ;) -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]KoRn is good metal band, and like Tony (Semjaza) said, there's no denying the impact they had on the industry. However, I really can only listen to them when I'm in pissed but sedated kind of mood, because they have a very certain flavor of angry to a majority of their songs. It's great when you're in the mood, but definitely not music you can just start playing randomly. Of course, they're my best friend's favorite band and she plays them all the time, so it really is a matter of opinion/taste. I personally prefer more Disturbed or Kittie if I'm going to listen to metal. My mom says she can't the difference. All of it makes her ears bleed. XD -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]I love listening to The Killers, but only for short amounts of time, because for some reason, after a couple of their songs it just gets obnoxious. I think my favorite song of theirs is either Mr. Brightside, because the melody is very nostalgic and I can relate strongly to the lyrics. Another one I liked a lot was "Andy, You're A Star" because it's so catchy and nice to just relax and bop your head to and sing along. Smile Like You Mean is a good one too, it has pretty spiffy lyrics. BTW: It's "Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine" -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]OOH OOH PLOT TWIST! Does Nubohiro now have a rival for Miss Winnie's affections? Is the term "French Class" being used to imply something else? What kind of underwear is Godel wearing? Ahem. Yea, nice cliffhanger/plot twist/omg now I'm all excited again chapter. I was kind of sinking into "oh this is a nice story to just sit and read, no plot twists" and getting rather lethargic, and this chapter was a nice wake up call. Keep writing love. (Sorry this isn't a more in-depth review...I'm feeling a little worn-out) -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]I think I just about died laughing when I read this thread. Not to be overtly rude, but this is ridiculous. Why try to get it down to a formula when it's impossible? What one girl likes another won't, so just be yourself, and if she is attracted to that, then go for it. But if you're just lying about who you are and your lifestyle to get her attracted to you, it's just going to come back around and slap you hard in the face, because eventually the truth will come out, and it will be quite messy. No formula. Just be yourself. =) * is reminded of Fruits Basket * -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Mah Favorites: [b]American Beauty:[/b] This one is very poingant. It is the sad reality of how much words will stick in the memory and how badly they can hurt someone. The sepia effect makes it feel detached, like something from the past. (A past hurt?) The direction the eyes are staring denotes the shame these words cause. [b]You And Whose Army?:[/b] The red lips make this picture. Red, of course, is the boldest color in the spectrum, the most defiant, the traditional "fighting color". All the dark, neutral colors contrast this red, which accentuates the theme of defiance, of angry rebellion. The expression on her[your] face is one of "I've down, but far from out, so you better watch yourself." The position of the arm makes me visualize crawling around on the ground, attacking someone from the floor and then being able to stand once again. Good stuff. [b]Optomistic:[/b] I smiled when I saw this. The flower (milkweed?) is white, symbolizing purity, innocence, and happiness. It's shape, all poofy and outward reaching makes it seem outgoing, and world-embracing. The picture itself is very bright, although there are many other flowers, that particular one is the only one in focus, which elevates it. [b]Interlude:[/b] Mystery, looking forward, quiet anticipation. The darkness of the immediate area contrasts with the brightness of the ocean and the bridge, which are both ahead of you. Also, the contrast of in focus vs. blurry puts even more distinction between where you are and what you are looking at. It's an interlude, a pause for thought before going forward into the light. [b]California:[/b] :D That is the true spirit of Cali. [b]Jumping Trees:[/b] My mind immediatly went: LOTR when I saw this one. The fog and the odd shape of the trees just scream fantasy, and give the feeling of an epic journey about to begin down this path. [b]Simple Pleasures:[/b] Pure joy. Even though the day is overcast and cloudy, it doesn't dampen the spirits of the dog, who exuberantly jumps in the cold [looking, anyway] water in excitement. This one also made me smile. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Good story lea. It reminded me a bit of this book called "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien. The book is filled with various "short stories" which all relate to each other in some way. Your story had the same feel of those in his book - that each story did not start out intending to make a point, nor did they end that way, but they did, just in the way they were told. You have a unique writing style that makes the story very personal, you seem to be having a conversation soley with the person who is reading the story. In this way, you pull the reader in, make the reader feel and visualize things the same way you do. It's good stuff, but the massive amounts of space between each paragraph seem kind of pointless. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Hey Godel, sorry I haven't responded to this in awhile. It's been crazy-hectic around my house, and I've just now had time to sit down, chill out, and play catch up on OB. Anyway - [i]loved[/i] the last chaper. Before, you revealed that the characters had weaknesses and strengths, and their own little quirks (some more than others), but you only saw very small glimpses of their pain. Especially with Winnie, she is mostly bright and happy, if eccentric, but here you see that she does indeed suffer from a great deal of inner turmoil and insecurities. Nubohiro is filling out too - you see has a humourous side too, and that when given the opportunity, can be quite funny. A quiet, humble observer, you also see that he's determined, because he wants to learn English, despite all the trouble it causes him. Don't worry about your other chapters - you have a mostly character-driven plot, so things tend to go slow, especially when you're trying to get the plot to the point where you want it, but other things must happen first, without killing the authenticity of the characters. I think this story has a very nice pace, not too fast, not too slow. I enjoy the chapters where, for example, Winnie meets Junko and they just have a conversation. You accomplished two things in that chapter - you showed Nubohiro's funny side, and gave Junko and Winnie a sense of realness. Two women related to one man in some way, just meeting each other and really hitting it off - that's something that happens all the time. Your story retains a sense of being very much anchored in reality and all it's imperfections and dull moments. And that's what makes it good. Only criticism - don't let there be TOO much of a lapse in turning points in the chapters. It's a careful balance, yo. Tee Hee. Can't wait for the next chappy. -Karma[/size][/color]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Oh man, I had completely forgotten about this! I went back and read it the whole through, and I think I nearly died laughing about five times (this does not include times I started choking because I started laughing while drinking soda). Anyway, you really should continue this. You have such a talent for humor. Love ya Solos. -Karma PS: That plushie bit was great. Albeit slightly confusing. @_@ * is reminded of the riddle of the two doors in the Labyrinth *[/size][/color]