Xander Harris

The poop of someone who just ate blueberries and chocolate. My unanswerable question is: how long will this thread go on before it degenerates into spam and a mod locks it?

[QUOTE=Flashlight] ?We can?t end this without a kiss!? ?Fine!? She knelt down, puckered her lips, and vomited. The End. [/QUOTE] LOL. Nice ending. Although I think the begining wasn't very funny. Ditch the cooky uniform. That's not as funny in prose as it would be in film. Build up to the cheese joke more. Mention his need to give a warning earlier in the story, and work up to it. What's great about the ending is how few words you used, in a nonchalant manner. Some of the earlier paragraphs are too wordy to be funny. That's just my opinion, though, so take it for what it's worth.

A political fundraiser somewhere in the town of Cyberspace... Deathbug: And now I would like to announce my proposed appointee for the position of Secretary of Defense... Xander Harris. Xander Harris (walking on stage and taking the mike): Yes, a vote for Deathbug is a vote for me... but don't let that stop you from voting for Deathbug. (crickets chirp at the attempt at levity, and Letterman tivos than tapes the clip for use on the show tonight) XH: ANywhow, as I was saying. THIS ADMINISTRATION has let the American people down. What is THIS ADMINISTRATION thinking? THIS ADMINISTRATION is so stupid, it's commander and chief can't even speak English... because he's always having heart attacks! HA HA... (again crickets chirp. Xander abondons his attempts at humor in favor of 'straight talk') XH: The policies of THIS ADMINISTRATION's secretary of state are bad. Porno bondage pics being made with helpless prisoners in Iraqi prisons is totally not cool. Elect me, and the war on terror will be ended in a matter of days, with no risk whatsoever to American personel. Hear me out. True muslims believe that pigs are 'unclean'. Contact with a pig can condemn one. Therefore, I shall train an army of pig soldiers, with miniature cannons mounted to their foreheads. Thousands of them shall be let loose in the hills of Afghanistan and the streets of Iraq. The pigs (which have excellent senses of smell) will literally sniff out every last terrorist and shoot them. The terrorits will rush from their hiding places when they see the unclean creatures approach. My plan is foolproof! Also, instead of using intelligence when deciding the next nation to conquer, we will simply throw a dart at a map of the middle east (with France penciled in). Whichever nation the dart hits, is the nation we will attack. I know this seems like a very small change in policy, but there is one key difference: THIS ADMINISTRATION uses green darts. We would use red ones, which cost far less, freeing more government funds with which to buy pigs. Also, I shall make sure that the weapons available to the president, his plastic batons, will always be kept shiny and clean before a 'debate'. So vote for Deathbug in the 2004 election, and help make America a more, safe, sane, sanitary place to live. OOC: You know what would make this fun? If Deathbug had a challenger. Anyone here on the boards got an ego big enough to take him on? In the fall, we could have our own 'Otaku Elections.' Just an idea.

I'm glad she's back in therapy... glad we could help you out in some small way, too.

OOC: Actually, I'm fairly certain we got both the dagger and the resources to make a 'bio-bomb' from the same place: our original sign-up posts. ;) Go read mine. The dagger is in there. Actually, it's not a tranquilizer, it deals lethal damage. But I figured Draco's wolf hide would be enough to turn the worst affects... I guess I'm supposed to assume Uila beat Alandra eventually, but with grievous injuries. Makes sense. I'll let Arika work out the details of her current situation... BIC: The chatter inside Department 7 headquarters was frantic. An intern slammed into a grumpy ogre mage, and dropped her papers all over. A dainty female agent leapt over the papers, running to deliver the third special bulletin in the past 15 minutes to the director's office. The marines, along with the majority of the Department's U.S. agents had stormed the city, retaking NYC street by street. The agents who Draco had escaped from had followed him back to his headquarters, and now the marines and agents closed in around Dark Wing Industries corporate headquarters. Department 7 had bungled the capture attempt, but had found the perfect scapegoat. They would tell the President that the whole war had been initiated by Maxwell Draco. The new word from the white house was that Maxwell was in bed with the 'terrorists', and would be brought to justice. The American people wanted to put a face on the murderers who had ransacked NYC, and Maxwell Draco, having deployed the most troops onto the street and attempted to place the city under martial law, was easily elected. But many of his troops, and those loyal to him, had retreated inside the building. A massive standoff had begun, and the whole world watched as a powerful corporate tycoon stood toe to toe with the United States Marines... Meanwhile, in a small apartment in Manhattan, Uila's head was spinning. As he struggled to his feet, his mind slowly processed the words The Dragon had just spoken. A sudden, overpowering rage gripped him that he had felt before only in his dreams. He put a bullet right between the eyes of Draco's thug, then spun toward the screen and discharged round after round into it, until his revolver clicked empty. "Uila." A voice came over his earpiece, "The Vessel has been identified. All other agents are occupied, and you have been assigned to secure the Vessel immediately." Almost automatically, the elf started to turn and obey. This is what they had worked for almost 50 years. But the risk to civilians of the bomb was greater. Uila, his voice hoarse, relayed that info to centcom. "Copy that, agent. We have received similar threats, urging us to stand down. Now we have confirmation of the bombs reality. Will deploy a bomb team at once." "No." Uila looked back at Loki. "He won't let that happen. The second the team gets near this block, he'll trigger the bomb. A wolf is most deadly when it is cornered, desperate. We are not dealing with a rational man right now, but a savage beast." The agent knew what had to be done. He stood looking at the Chinese Fox for several long moments. Then his limber frame shuddered once, and he stood there again, in silence. The only sound was the crackling of the destroyed electrical equipment. Thousands would die. And yet, Uila suddenly realized that he really didn't care. The only life he cared about was hers. The elf suddenly fell over on his knees, and vomited. His stomach convulsed in dry heaves as he realized what his duty had become. His body shook with guilt and pain as he pushed himself to his feet, and walked toward Loki. "There's" his voice croaked out, "no need to fear. It doesn't hurt, much. Trust me, I would know." Quietly, calmly, he bent over, his agent training taking over and supplanting emotion. There was no time to think, only to do. He ran forward and grabbed Loki. "Don't be scared. Don't be scared. Please, be brave." He ran to the shattered window and again leapt out of it. He flew toward the ocean, pouring it on as he never had before. He felt Loki's body begin to grow warm, and pulse. Uila and Loki swept past the statue of liberty, heading out away from NYC. Uila arced his course upward, hoping to gain as much altitude as possible. Then, it happened. Loki gave one final convulsion, then died. Mystic energy emanated forth from her body, forming a massive sphere of death. The lady of the harbor was vaporized. The elf was reduced to ashes. The last of the power fled from the Chinese Fox's body, and it fell toward the earth, a pile of ashes clinging to it tenderly. ******************************************************************* The second after the bomb went off, Department 7 went into action. Summons were sent to the Shadow Walkers and the Knight Of The Silver dragon, urging them to come help in the final battle. The werewolves (those that were still alive) were offered amnesty and protection if they stood with the U.S. Within the confines of his chambers, Maxwell Draco summoned forth every ounce of power he could. Monsters he kept in cold storage were released. Weapons of mercenaries were rearmed and salaries were doubled. Everyone was glued to their televisions, as the media reported on a massive battle between U.S. troops and a terrorist businessman about to take place on homeland soil... And somewhere in NYC, the Vessel continued to walk free, for the time being... ****************************************************************** Between Earth and Another World, a soul hangs in the balance. The soul feels itself pulled back toward the Earth, as if by an invisible tether. Yet this time, the soul does not want to return. It wishes to go to it's final resting place, to be rid of the sin and pain of mortal life. And so it draws closer and closer to the light, and feels the tether begin to fail. It has been weakening every time this soul has come to this place, and now at last it will break. Then, before the soul, there is a bird. The bird is made of flame, and is more majestic and pure than anything this soul has ever before witnessed. It reaches forward, and gently guides the soul back to the world of the humans. Then, it utters two words: "have hope." ***************************************************************** Five hours later, the mood in NYC was still unbelievably tense. The fear and anticipation was palpable. The standoff continued. On the shores of Elis Island, debris from leveled historic buildings lied mingled with human body parts. The gentle waves lapped onto the shore, and when they receded, left the body of Loki. There was a small twinkling, like that of fairy dust, and the dirt and ashes stuck to the corpse begin to rise into the air, then formed into the shape of a man. In a burst of flame, Uila was restored to life. He looked down at the corpse, and was again overcome with grief. There was no hope here. None at all for this world, a world that would take a life so young, so beautiful... No joy was to be found here, or anywhere. Beside the elf lay his daggers. Firmly, he snatched one up, and held it to his heart. He bent over the frame of the fox-child, and for the first time since he left the Shadowrealm, he cried. It was only a single tear, which fell down and splashed against the body's face. Uila rose up, and raised the dagger to the sky. There was no hope. Only hope that he could win through to the other side this time. Then the corpse began to move. Loki's eyes fluttered open, and she stood up. "Uhhh. What the heck? Where am I?... Uila?" The elf looked, with unbelieving eyes. He had seen something like this once before, in his dreams. The phoenix effect. The gift of life, given only to the most noble souls. The dagger fell from his hand, and before he knew what he was doing, the stoic elf had embraced the Chinese Fox, and was kissing her passionately. He pulled back like he had been shocked, stood up, brushed off the sand and regained his composure. "Right. Well, I am pleased to see you are alive. Come along now, there's business that must be attended to.."

I've tried to launch a couple 'realistic' RPGs over the past few months, but I find no one really wants to play stuff like that. When I think about it, I guess I typically don't really either. If I'm going to spend a bunch of time writing something for a bunch of strangers, it had better be something that really holds my interest continually. Sci-fi/fantasy/martial arts/anything 'genre' gives it the extra 'kick' it needs to hold peoples interest, I think. Reading this thread makes me want to try to start an RPG again...

"Skirmish between two dozen giants and eighteen vampires reported near Queens, agent presence required at once." Uila hurled himself across another rooftop, stopping to snap pictures of a group of dead goblins in an alley-way, then blasted off toward Queens. Every muscle in his body ached, his head was throbbing from shrapnel wounds. Uila could remember the feeling he had now from another time, from his dreams... The battle was almost over when he arrived. The vampires, being impervious to most of the giant weapons, had won fairly easily. The elf scanned the situation with his computer, which quickly catalogued the images of each of the participants. All over the city, other agents were cataloging all other participants in the urban war. The seers could sort things out later, and determine the identity of the Human Gate. Uila heard another instruction in his earpiece: "Agent Uila, report to briefing room at once." [I]Briefing room? Now!?![/I] Not one to disobey orders, he flew off toward a small park in the center of town, where Department 7 and the CIA shared a complex. He swung past his apartment on the way to pick up some pieces of evidence he had picked up earlier to show to the others. Standing at his door was Loki, looking very nervous. "What are you doing here? It isn't safe!" "Nowhere is safe. There's people dying everywhere!" "Get inside my apartment, and stay there until I tell you to come out. There's food in my fridge." "What are you going to do about all this?" "Right now, I have a business meeting." Uila grabbed a suitcase filled with broken weapons and magic stones, locked the door to his apartment and activated the defense charms, then leapt out the nearest window. ************************************************************************ Eight individuals, including Jonathon Eirogo, the Department head, sat around a circular table, looking over their notes on laptop computers. Uila and the other three field agents were covered in dried blood, dust and shrapnel, but the other five were dressed in pressed suits and ties. Jonathon got up and lowered a projector screen. President Bush appeared on it. "I am here to inform the American people that our nation is under attack. Terrorists have infiltrated New York City, and have become engaged with private soldiers. I have ordered the marines to surround the city to contain the fighting, and they will deploy into the city proper within the hour. New York has withstood the wrath of these thugs before, and I know the people of this city will rise to the occasion again. Stay within your homes, and do not interfere with the terrorists or..." "All right, gentleman. That's the spin the president is putting on this in public. In private, he's mad as hell at us. We were supposed to prevent things like this from happening, but we let it occur for a very good reason. Once the Vessel is in U.S. control, our national security can be assured forever. The lives that are lost today are not lost in vain. Don't forget that." Uila was glad that the plan was coming to fruitation. But in the back of his mind, he couldn't forget the image of little Loki, terrified and trembling, knowing death was stalking her. Or of Furie, that elegant warrior, in more danger than she had ever been before. On his way here, the elf had seen a little half-elf boy, only ten years old, that Uila had saved first from vampires, and then from the Shadow Walkers, lying dead in the street, his corpse desecrated by drunken ogres. Uila knew what the plan was. He knew it's importance, and in the front of his mind he was utterly dedicated to seeing it fulfilled. So why, in the back of his mind, did these images keep playing, and why did he feel the fast food he had for dinner earlier trying to come back up the way it came? "Now, the reason I summoned you here in the middle of this crisis, is that we have an opportunity to accomplish something else during all the fighting as well. Something which I know will make the president very glad." A new image replaced Bush's face on the screen. "It appears that Maxwell Draco has decided to... let his hair down... and enjoy the chaos. He is outside of his protective screen of spells and bodyguards, running wild through the streets in wolf form. This is our opportunity to take him out, to capture him, question him, and take down all of the Dark Wing Industries Conglomerate once and for all! I need each of you to authorize this operation, and Agent Uila, you will lead the op." Each of the agents gave their signatures within seconds, including the elf. If this war meant that Draco would pay for his many sins, than maybe it was worth it. In the back of his mind, Loki trembled, children screamed then died, and soldiers were slain. ******************************************************************* Twenty minutes later, Uila was perched on top of the Empire State Building, watching a giant wolf slaughter the last few unfortunates in his vicinity. Calmly, the agent withdrew a gleaming dagger from within his coat. "Agents in place, Firebird" a voice came over his earphone. "Copy that, Nightstalker." Uila took aim, and hurled the dagger. To anyone watching, it seemed like foolishness. The wolf was blocks away. There was no way a mere dagger could hit it. And yet, as the blade spun through the air, energy seemed to grow around it. It traveled faster and faster, and the glow of power grew larger and larger. The dagger impacted upon the wolf with the force of a dozen comets. The wolf slammed to the ground, unconscious, a gashing wound in it's side. Slowly at first, then faster, the wolf shrank, then reverted to human form. Uila leapt off his perch and manipulated the wind to set him down next to his prey. Agents swarmed out of a nearby truck, tended to Maxwell's wounds, then trussed him up, sedated him (so he couldn't revert back to wolf form), and put him in the truck. Uila's eyes flashed a bright green. He turned, and facing him on the other side of the street was a strongly built women who radiated power. "What do ya think you're doing with my new boss?" She drew her weapon and glared at Uila menacingly. Uila pulled out his gun, and began to walk toward her. The van drove off at top speed. "I don't know who you are, women. But you just made the biggest mistake of your life."

[QUOTE=DeathBug][color=indigo][size=1][font=comic sans ms]Fun fact: Marvel's publishing branch only accounts for five percent of their total revenues. Neat, huh? [/color][/size][/font][/QUOTE] Yep. Which explains why titles without movies or at least movies in the works may soon be phased out... The best comic Marvel puts out right now is Thor, written by Dan Jurgens. If you read some of the stories earlier in his run, you would think I was crazy. Jurgens tales were full of huge panels of people slugging one another, with very little plot whatsoever. This is the dude that brought us The Death Of Superman storyline, remember. Anyway, a year or two back, Marvel decided to let him 'revamp' the title. And lo and behold, Dan Jurgens is actually a brilliant writer! [spoiler]He killed off Odin and made Thor practically omnipotent. Thor then moved Asgard to Earth and set about solving earth's problems. Some people started to worship him again, and the governments of the world wanted him gone. [/spoiler] Enter 'Spiral', an intellectual and perfectly paced year long tale exploring religion from all different angles, leading up to the big shock ending. [spoiler]Now, the scene has shifted to several decades in the future, where Lord Thor rules the Earth with an iron grip.[/spoiler] Throw Loki, the daughter of the Scarlet Witch, Desak (killer of gods), the Designate, and Thor's son into the mix, and the story keeps getting better and better. If you haven't been reading Thor for the past two years, you need to go get the back issues. The best Thor tales of all time remain the Walt Simonson years, though. If you like Norse mythology, a dash of humor, and big epic stories, grab the TPB of the Simonson days. Fantastic Four and Daredevil are tied for second place, IMHO. FF has recently aquired the talents of the legendary Mark Waid (one of the only writers to actually produce a quality product back in the 90's). He has managed to make these characters who for so long have felt stagnent and old interesting, quirky, and developing again. The stories play with big concepts (our heroes met God an issue or two back) and are again plotting new territory, as the title did back in it's glory days. FF hadn't been worth reading since John Byrne left about 20 years ago, but now it is back in it's place as one of Marvel's finest titles. Daredevil is dark, edgy, exciting urban noir. The current storyline has Matt coping with a nervous breakdown, and a massive gang of skilled Japanese gangsters who use a new drug that gives people temporary mutant powers trying to take over Hell's Kitchen. Good stuff. I've tried to get back into Spiderman on and off over the past few years, but the title has so much baggage now, ever since the whole clone fiasco. And I just don't think the Spidey comics I've read lately have been all that great. But I'll try to check out that 'Spectacular' issue you're talking about, Deathbug, if I can get to a comic book store. In answer to your question, Manic, you are looking for 'Amazing Spider Man' and 'Spectacular Spider Man'. Not that Ultimates crap.

Heh. Nice. It's short, it makes you laugh, it uses good vocabulary, and is sort of clever. Thanks for posting!

Raynor was absorbed in watching the evening news, when he heard a tapping sound on the window of his hotel room. Walking over to the window, he saw that there was a wiry man clad in black, with a green fire swirling around the lower half of his body, hovering in front of the window. The man tapped again, and pointed at the lock. Raynor cautiously grasped a weapon with his left hand, then opened the window with his right. "Good evening. I am Uila, from Department 7. I understand you contacted us last night. A Knight of the Silver Dragon, you said. Hold still." The agent removed his retinal scanner, and Raynor recognizing it for what it was, presented his eyes. In a matter of seconds, Uila had confirmed the Knight's identity. "Ahhh, Raynor Thomas. I see you've done work for us in the past." Uila offered his hand, "Welcome to New York, Fang of the Dragon." "Yeah. Nice to see you too. Listen, something strange is going on. I've been tracking the migration patterns of the Shadowkind for the past several weeks, and..." "Hold it." the agent held up his hand, and turned up the volume on his earpiece, "I've got to go. It's begun." "What? What's begun?" "You may follow, if you wish." Uila wasted no time. He spun away from Raynor, sprinted to the window and hurled himself out of it. The flame again rose up around Uila, and enveloped his body, taking on the outline of a bird. Uila flew across the city at top speed; streets, stores and parks all a blur beneath him. His earpiece beeped, and he knew he had reached Southern Brooklyn. The flame vanished from around Uila, and he rolled to stop on a rooftop. As he got up, he drew out his computer, and activated it's digital video camera. Moving to the edge of the rooftop, he heard the sounds of battle below, and smelled the mingled stench of goblin, werewolf and human blood wafting up. Uila wasted no time in videotaping the proceedings, hoping to catalogue every being involved in the battle. His gaze rested on Furie for a few extra moments... he was glad to see that the fascinating young warrior was still alive. As he taped, he listened to the news from other agents through his earpiece. Word of this skirmish was traveling quickly. Already, the Vrykolaka clan of vampires had decided to ally themselves with the Shadow walkers. Although the humans would gladly dust them under normal circumstances, the vamps saw this as the perfect opportunity to eliminate their hated werewolf foes once and for all. A group of giants would support Mothias. The goblins would just take the opportunity to kill anyone who got in their way. Department 7 was going to have it's hands full keeping track of all the participants, and determining which of them was destined to be The Vessel.

Seated on a leather couch across from the Chinese Fox, Uila's face had an expression that Loki had never seen him wear before. His eybrows were arched downward in intense concentration, and his eyes were focused on her, unblinking. But it was what she saw behind his eyes that worried her. Was it anxiety? Fear? Concern? This was big, but Loki knew that the agent had dealt with far bigger things than a gang war in his time. "Alright." Uila stood up as Loki finished her tale. The rising sun came in through his picture window. "I need to talk with my superiors. Now. I would like to thank you for coming to me with this information. You may have just saved far more than you know. Here..." Uila walked over to his desk, and rummaged around in it for a few minutes, and finally produced a Snickers bar, which he tossed to Loki "A token of my gratitude." As he turned to walk into his office, he failed to see Loki roll her eyes at him. Sequestered in his office, Uila waited until he heard Loki walk out and close the door before flipping up the viewscreen to consult with his superiors. After a few moments of speaking with the section commander, he had verified Loki's prophecy. The werewolves were indeed mobalizing, but any concrete intel had been very difficult to obtain. The wolves had excellent security. Uila already knew this, having had a devil of a time monitoring them in the past. He talked for several more minutes with the commander, and his superior informed him that he would recieve his orders by that night. Uila got up, took off his night gear, and got ready for a long day at the bank. As he hailed a taxi, he thought about the night's revelations. The moment would soon be here when the Thiealnun Prophecy would be fulfilled. The top-secret prophecy that Department 7's top seer had uttered almost 50 years ago, which fortold of the coming of The Vessel (sometimes referred to as 'The Human Gate', even though the Vessel is not necessarily human). The Human Gate would have great latent psychic power, which when awakened could be used either for great good or for great evil, depending on who did the awakening. It was foretold that The Vessel would participate in a war instigated by "brave warriors of the blade; suns and daughters of the sun and the mountain," (quite possibly referring to Oriental swordsman) and the "feral sons of Hecate" (werewolves, in prophecy speak). The battle between the Shadow walkers and the werewolves would no doubt draw many others into the fray. Everyone would want to be on the winning side of this fight when the smoke cleared. Besides the Thiealnun Prophecy, there were hundreds of lesser prophecys, legends and folktales pertaining to the Vessel. And many of the signs had been materializing as of late. Some hinted at the possible race of the Vessel, and one such race was Vampire, which is why Uila had not used lethal force on Imara earlier. But the lesser prophecies (as well as the Thiealnun Prophecy) listed many other races as possibilities as well. Department 7 was determined to locate the Human Gate before anyone else did...

OOC: I'll give this a shot. I like humorous RPGs. Name: Bob Bobio Age: 14 Grade: 10 Appearence: Short but skinny. Brown hair, blue eyes. Big glasses, and a bigger smile. Skills: Computers and car repair Bio: Bob is a pretty smart kid. Some people don't like him much, 'cause his smarts put them off. But he is very friendly, almost like a puppy dog. Therefore, people take advantage of him a lot. Like every other straight male in the school, he would love to date Ami.

[QUOTE=Shinmaru]Definitely agreed. Overall, I'd have to say that my favorite part of the movie was [spoiler]KNIGHTS, the parody of COPS. That whole sequence was pure brilliance lol. I especially loved the grinding of the pepper in their eyes (to simulate pepper spray) and the part where Puss In Boots is thrown up against the wall ("Catnip!" "...ees not mine."). Just hilarious.[/spoiler][/QUOTE] Yes! Me and the girl I saw it with loved that whole sequence, too. The [spoiler]pepper[/spoiler] was one of the more intelligent and hilarious gags in the film. An example of something that would go over a kids head that [I]wasn't[/I] a sexual innuendo LOL. Speaking of innuendo, I found the bit with Pinochio gut-wrenchingly funny. Call me immature, but that was so funny!!! I loved the [spoiler]giant[/spoiler] gingerbread man, too. [spoiler]'Go, Mongo! Follow the shiny horsie... Be Goooood.' [/spoiler] And all the witty pop culture parodies, too numerous to count. The only thing bad about this film was their choice of music. I liked the tunes in the first film better. Of course, how can you top a movie with 'All-Star', 'I'm a Believer' and 'The Butt Song' all played during scenes perfectly suited for them? Oh, and I'll be saying, [spoiler]Pray for mercy from PUSS... in BOOTS![/spoiler] to random people in my Antonio Bandares voice for months to come. :p Great, great movie.

Uila ran and jumped across the rooftops, occasionally summoning a burst of wind to get himself across a chasm. He had pried himself away from observing Furie after watching her slaughter that night's targets and filing a report on the killings. She was so engrossing to watch as she fought... too bad it was elves she was killing... Uila knew he should be more upset to see his own race killed, but the Black Flower Revolution was considered a threat by Department 7 as well. The Shadow walkers were doing their work for them. His night's work was almost done. He would make one more sweep of his district, read the reports of his fellow agents in this region of town, then indulge in a few minutes of Elven-sleep before heading off to the bank. He almost fell down into the street, as the sudden pulsing in his eyes threw his balance off. One of the presences he had just sensed was familiar, the other was not. He felt no hostile intentions, though. Creeping to the edge of a roof, he leapt out onto a bird-like gargoyle, and surveyed the situation. A preppily dressed Chinese fox popped out of the ground in front a rugged man wearing the symbol of Fharlangh about his neck. A Traveler. Generally harmless. The Traveler made a move like he would attack the fox, but then seemed to think better of it. Within a few seconds, the two were chatting amicably. Uila quietly entered a few things into his computer, then returned it to it's pocket inside his trench coat. He then leapt off the statue, and landed directly behind the school girl, simply using his ultra-strong leg muscles to absorb the impact of his landing as opposed to wind. Not a smart idea to use upward currents around a female in a short skirt. "Loki." She turned around, trying to hide the fact that she had been startled. "Oh, uh, hi sir. I was just talking to this new guy... He's real nice, so write nice things about him for the Department..." Her tail started to twitch rapidly, so she rubbed her leaf and the tail vanished. "Mm hm. Just chatting. After leaping out of the ground to frighten him. As, if you'll remember," Uila withdrew a piece of paper from within his coat, "Is prohibited by Department orders. You can't draw that much attention to yourself!" There was a hint of concern in Uila's voice. He had come to be quite fond of the little trickster, and would hate to have to be the one to bring her down. "It's o.k., though! He's Shadowkind! And no one was watching! I mean," she looked at the elf, then at the ground, "no one but you." "Alright. I'll let you off with a warning." Uila put his hand on her shoulder. "Just be more careful. Not everyone will refrain from shooting you like this gentleman here. speaking of which..." The servant of the Dweller On The Horizon had been watching the exchange with interest. Uila stepped around the fox, and walked up to the Traveller. "Alright. I need your name, true race, and a look at your true form. Then you are free to leave." "What if I don't want to tell you my name?" the Traveler asked cautiously. Behind Uila, Loki was making gestures at her new found friend, trying to get him to comply. "Well, I need to learn your capabilities eventually. If you insist on resisting, now is as good a time as any" Uila said quietly, as his eyes shone a bright green and his hand grabbed the Traveler's arm. The Deacon of Fharlaghn tried to twist away, but Uila was far stronger and flipped the newcomer onto the pavement. As Traveler struggled to his feet he began to draw his pistol, but the elf summoned a gale force burst of wind that knocked his opponent clear across the alley and into a dumpster. The new guy didn't get up. The man of business walked quickly over to the Traveler, and removed a pen-like object from his coat. He pulled open the man's eyelids, and scanned his retinas, then consulted his computer. "Aha. Here's the match. Richard Constantinople. Hmmm. Interesting history..." He turned back to Loki, who was nervously biting her nails. "Here." Uila handed her a five dollar bill and a business card, "When he comes to, take him out for a morning cup of coffee, and walk him to his residence. Welcome him to New York city on the behalf of Department 7. If he needs to talk to us, tell him he can call the number on the card, or simply do something stupid. Take care of yourself." Uila rubbed his hands through her hair, then with a flourish of his trench coat, leapt back up onto the rooftop and headed home.

Yeah, this is a cool group... I heard one of their songs on the radio the other day and liked it, then matched it up with the group when the music video came on VH1 today. Don't really know the lyrics to the song... I just like the way it sounds.

A peppy pop dance song set the mood as the humans danced and romanced in the Antoinette night club. The bar counter was transparent glass, with neon tubes strung through it, which pulsed in time with the music. One of the patrons of the bar has ordered nothing to drink but a cup of steaming coffee. He was a fairly tall and thin gentleman, with oily black hair. His fingers flew over the Apple laptop he has set on the counter. [I]Field Agent Uila: Report #244 on Subject 79.[/I] He looked up, and continued to watch a certain attractive young female, clad in a glittery, modern miniskirt. She was grinding sensuously with her date, who didn't seem to know quite what to make of the brown haired bombshell, but was enjoying himself immensely all the same. Uila hated following Imara, but the Department needed the monthly report on her turned in on time... [I]Subject 79 has again engaged in a pre-feeding ritual. Her pattern of victim selection still remains consistent. Victim is white male, red hair, black eyes, about age 25... according to the database, his name is Matt Durning... student of the arts, as were the last twelve victims. Prediction: Subject 79's habitation is due to change again soon.[/I] Uila gazed at the vampyre again, and felt his stomach twist in revulsion, and his eyes spark with recognition. Uila didn't much like vampyres. And this one was a very boring vampyre, to boot. Oh, well, business was business. Any cheerful fantasies about staking the bloodsucker had to take second place to the commands of Department 7. And they had other plans for her. The bartender tapped him on the shoulder, "Quit starin' at that broad, man. She's already made her choice for tonight. In the five years she's been coming here, I never once seen her leave with a different guy than she come in with. Now, over there, them chicks would be happy to..." "Thank you." Uila rose up, shut off his computer and plunked the money for the coffee down. His target was on the move. All he would have to do was witness her feeding, file a report on the victim, and follow her back to her apartment. Then he could move on to observing someone else... The Department would soon need a report on that dragon living in the Bronx sewers... ****** Two hours later, Uila was perched on a streetlamp, watching the Asian women known as Furie striding down the street, fingering her concealed weapon. Uila figured the dragon could wait a few days. After all, dragons didn't tend to change much in a short time span. And these Shadow walkers were loose cannons, they needed close observance. He had orders from the top. She was so confident, merciless, and elegant. She hunted his kind, yet he found there was something fascinating about her. Furie was not a bad person. She fought against the forces of evil, against the sorts of things Uila saw in his dreams. The way she walked, the range of feelings he saw deep in her liquid-like eyes... there was no one else in the world Uila would rather observe than this attractive young warrior. But, of course, he reminded himself, it was all strictly business. Had to keep track of the Shadow Walkers, after all....

Well, I don't wanna be misundertand, 'cause I think he is fine folks, but Bush doesn't have a good time fabariciting sentanceses. ;)

Just saw it. Hilarious. Far funnier than the first one. Same sweet love story at the core. Good times.

O.k. The music feature worked just fine before v. 2, but now when I click on 'current song' all that comes up is a little box telling me my browser doesn't support this feature. Can someone tell me how to make music work again? Thanks

I checked your Public Profile to see how old you are... you are as old as my sister, who is in Junior High now. Apparently, according to my sis, cutting is somewhat in fashion among some of the JH girls at my school as well. I can understand the internal pain and anguish kids at that age go through... I went through it myself. (and still do at times.) Never did the cutting thing, though, but I can see why someone would. Therapy is definately what she needs. Also, keep being there for her, but if at some point your relationship doesn't work out, don't feel you have to stay with her. You are under no obligation to 'save' anyone through romantic love. Don't let your relationship with this girl eventually destroy you too. The fact that you considered taking up cutting yourself really scares me, to be honest with you, dude. Far too many people marry someone hoping to 'change' them down the road, and end up getting burned. But go ahead and use your influence to get the girl back into therapy. That's what she needs right now. I don't know what religion you are, but I would recommend the girl talk to her pastor/priest/rabbi/whatever about this as well, if she has one. It sounds like she has some real spiritual needs right now. If she keeps punishing herself, she may be looking for forgiveness and redemption for sin. Not trying to preach too much, but that's what she'll find at a good church. It can't be said enough: she needs therapy, not a boyfriend. It's simply not healthy for her only solace to be a male significant other at this early stage of her life. If you really love her, you need to try and get her back into therapy, and get her to talk to some adults about her problems.

This sounds like fun... I always like the weird combinations of music and story this guy puts together... any idea when it will be available in English in the U.S. for those of us with slow connection speeds and no desire to watch something entirely in Japenese? ;)

Yes. I think, thematically, The Two Towers and the Angel season finale were very close. The whole fighting for the sake of fighting even when you know you will lose thing... I think the visual reference was intentional, actually, to underscore the theme.

Well, Monkey_Orange, I actually liked what they did with the prophecy. [spoiler]Angel was forced to decide if destroying the black thorn, if making his great stand against the immortal forces of darkness, was worth sacrificing anything for. Before this, he only had to sacrifice others. Now, he was asked to sign away the thing that had sustained him for so long, and perhaps his chances with Buffy. To sacrifice any chance at personal happiness for the greater good. This season he has seen the extent of the Darkness in the world. He knew what he had to do. Signing that document was the single most heroic thing I have seen Angel do. Absolutely selfless. Good for good's sake. I think they should have resolved the prophecy that way even if Angel had more seasons to go. That episode you mention, Monkey_orange, was one of my favorites. I practically cried at the end of it. All that said, I wonder if perhaps in a sequel Angel could still get his humanity. Now, he is not fighting for it. He is fighting for a higher purpose, and the prophecy magic may honor that, or even expect it. Perhaps the writers of the prophecy intended for the vampire with a soul to face a test in which he would chose between humanity and the fight against evil. If he chose the latter, he would be rewarded with humanity. Just an idea of how it could all eventually have a happy ending. But I think no one really wants Angel to have a truly happy ending. The character's tragic nature is what makes him so interesting. No tragedy, no character. I don't know the answer to your question about the poem, Manic. But I did like having that scene in there. Spike finally was able to do what he always wanted, get people to like his poems. Granted, they were all drunk, but I doubt Spike cared. ;) Again, this would have been so much better if it were stretched out. The basic plot was great, it just needed more time to develop. I felt like they crammed a whole season into one episode.[/spoiler]

Wow... this thread took off like a shot. It wasn't even there during school, and when I get home, it's on it's second page! Pretty interesting discussion, though. O.k. My opinion. I am a fairly conservative Christian, but I believe Israel has no divine right to the land. The Jews are no longer God's chosen people. God's people is bigger than one ethnic group, now. Now, all people can be saved through Christ. The Church is God's chosen people now, not the Jews. Some Jews reject Chirst, some accept him. But they are no different now than any of the rest of us. That was part of the significance of the curtain ripping in the temple when Christ died. The barrier between God and Man, Jew and Gentile has been removed. Everyone now has access to God through Jesus. It's not appropriate or relevant to the topic for me to go into more theological detail on this... Now, out of the world of theology and into the world of politics. Yes, the Israelies were wrong to take the Palestinian land. But that was fifty years ago. Now, Isreal is quite a populous and established nation. Two wrongs don't make a right. Was the U.S. wrong to take the Indian lands? Yes. Would it be wrong for the Indians to now strap on suicide bombs and attack white children to avenge their forefathers? Yes. No offence or anything, but get over it, Palestinians. You have killed thousands of innocents with your damned suicide bombers. Far more than have ever died at Israeli hands. You target women and children. For years and years this has gone on. Finally, Israel has had enough, and is striking back with everything in their power. They have warned you for years to cease your attacks, yet the bombings continued. So now you are getting a taste of your own medicine. And Israel's tactics are working. A story in the recent issue of Time claims that there have been very few terrorist attacks in Israel since they began to employ desperate tactics. They have security just about everywhere, and are determined to eliminate Hamas. The Palestinians haven't cared about killing innocents, so why should the Israelies? Now, I don't necessarily condone the Israeli tactics. But I can certainly see how things got to this point. The Israelies may have perpetrated the first crime, but it was a very minor crime indeed compared to the carnage and killing the Palestinian terrorists have subjegated them to for 50 years. The Israelies they kill are too young to have participated in the 'nation stealing'. So Israel has decided to protect itself by any means necessary. It may not be right, but it does seem to be necessary. Everyone from Carter to Bush has tried the diplomatic tact. Now it's time for the extreme approach. Not pretty, but the Palestinians have forced them into it. And did I mention how ludicrous it is to waste this many lives over a piece of land that small? The U.S. engaged in a global war started by a few angry Palestinians who couldn't let the past go. Who couldn't leave one tiny scrap of desert alone in the name of peace. Oh, and the 'benefits are being sucked from our land'? Maybe if you weren't so hostile to foreigners you could get some aid money. Maybe if Hamas was gone the U.S. and Israel would be willing to give you a state of your own. No, that's not a maybe. That's a fact. That's the much vaunted Roadmap to Peace in a nutshell. But it will never happen, because Israelies and Palestinians alike will never agree to let the past rest in peace. They will fight on for centuries, avenging the deaths of their great-great-great grandparents. The whole thing is so rediculous.

Warning: a few minor spoilers ahead. Angel came to a close tonight. It was a good way to end the series, but it was too damn rushed. The powers that be pulled the plug halfway through this season, despite record ratings. They will be replacing it with, get this, a gothic drama about Vampires! Wow, I think I heard of a show like that once... what was it called? Oh, yeah, ANGEL!!! Cancel a brilliant show, and replace it with a clone. That makes a hell of a lot of sense. I didn't like the ending of Angel at first, but in retrospect, would you really want Angel to live happily ever after? This was a totally punk rock way to go out. Classic last line, too. The more I think about it, the more I like the Angel season ender. But it really needed to be spread out over more episodes... the Black Thorn thing needed to be built up more... Wesley's fight with the Wizard needed to be longer: we've never really seen an all out spell-duel in the Buffy-verse before and I was kind of looking forward to it... But it leaves so much more story to tell. After Angel and company [spoiler]die[/spoiler], what happens? The senior partners overrun LA? And then the world? Don't the Slayers get a chance to help out? I feel a good idea for an RPG coming on :-) And, like I said earlier, it all happened far too quickly. But the bit with Lorne (SP?) was great. And [spoiler]Wesley's death[/spoiler]. I finally sort of could stand Aleria (SP? again).