Kaorii

Don’t bother me with your sorrow My heart is not something you can borrow Enlighten us all on your idea of care “I’ll always be by your side”, this you swear depart me of my desperate cries for something more than your pathetic lies So you took that chance to leave to the perfect life A chance to have me as mother and wife No one’s stopping you on this unexpected ride You’ll only have memories, them as your guide Your anger and frustration feeds your hungry determination Keeping everything in tact, in constant rotation Loyal to your responsibilities Has you turning to crazy insanities There’s that voice telling you to carry on Disguised as a girl, there til’ she’s gone Whispering sweet nothings in your ear Saying things for only you to hear It’s temptation shrieking on your shoulder Your minds’ yelling “go!”, you hearts’ getting colder The touch of her lips, couldn’t match those of whose they should It’s not like she’d do anything, it’s not like she could She would never know, never find out But then you hear yourself shout “It’s wrong, but it’s not alright.” “Let’s keep it gong, stay up all night” The now you made, was broken right then How the real woman was waiting til’ when You return covered with guilt and shame She just stood her ground, not even speaking your name She knew all along it would never be Didn’t want to be there, for you to see It’s enough you left, why return She gave you a chance, you didn’t learn She’s moved on now, no more little miss She’s not coming back, she promised you this Promise~ ~back to rhyming..I suppose. Still the old stuff.

I think if you feel that you're not up to it, then don't think about it as much. Do something to take your mind off it for a bit, then come back to it. You want it to end up being a trilogy, so I think if you're getting too much into the 1st story then tone it down a bit. Don't put all you're ideas into one part of it. It's only the 1st story. That should be a sort of introduction into the 2nd and 3rd. You don't want to run out of what else to put. That has happened to me before. Having to throw away an idea that you put so much into, is not a happy feeling. As you've read, keep going, don't stop unless you can't go on. But have fun with it. If you're stressing, you'll loose focus. Seems like you have a lot going for it so far. Just keep that momentum and you'll do fine.

What are these hearings of constriction? People holding on to you so much it hurts. This need for air, space, and time, The pressure, massive, The constant ringing of similar voices, Winging memories of terrible experiences. Repetition within each one, It’s grasp, suffocating, There’s no escaping it. But who would want that What is it of those who have no hold? No grasp, No one there to hold, No one caring enough to even try. How do those ones’ feel? What would it be like? The feel of free, The feel of comfort, The feel of hold, An envious neighbor, Reaches for your attention, Fight on. Don’t leave. It’s all you. Constriction and freedom. Only hold hope. ~you know how it goes. No rhyming. As you may have already guessed. Thanks for reading! :D

You’re here with me now I seek comfort in your eyes What little strength that remains in me Weakens at every moments pass It’s a fight you’re cheering me for To beat Death’s might will Your presence is you only aid To my pathetic state Hopeless, I am not For which every way, my body will subside I will know it is how it should be I’d never say I’d win It’s just my word of thought My wimsy mind settles in It’s no longer able to comprehend Anything outside my own thought No less reality itself I’m dreaming of good and evil together How I wish you could see it I know you are still with me I can’t see or feel your tight embrace But my imagination does what I cannot It’s creative mind at play An inch from departing this wretched universe I don’t step across that line A hold on me is restraining Forbidding my decision Growing up was never illegal Let go of it Let go of me I won’t remain Remain~ ~and once again 'tis another early work - minus the rhyming. Hope you like.

I drew this last year. I was just playing around, which is why it's on lined paper. I like it overall, but there are some things that I'd change..like the eyes and some of the detail on the Mom, who is holding her baby girl. I like it, but I'm not so sure what I think of it. [URL=http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/0903/heartledfall004/ae7abef5.jpg]Hawaiin Baby[/URL] *edit* Actually..all I really like is the lei. :p

I like your drawing. I also like the eyes. On the coloring bit, I do like it plain, and that certainly doesn't make you a boring person, but adding color would make it different, maybe not better. But that's up to you. I don't rate things, but I really do like you're picture.:D

Who are you to say I can’t live my life this way It’s none of your business I’m honestly being serious You’ve stepped over the border It’s not like you’re doing this for, A fairly practical reason What’s the harm in having a bit of fun It’s nothing dirty or out of the ordinary I wish you didn’t think it was funny It’s plain cruel, how you do that Where you coldly say things with out being exact Leaving it vague, yet so hated It’s like your saying, “I don’t care for you” except restated Such a little gesture, gave monumental Visions to my corrupted mind, and yet it’s fundamental You are out there to make me miserable Don’t look at me like I’m the one accountable You got it all wrong, your thought ‘bout me Is she crazy? Or is it he? It’s a never ending war A battle I’ll win someday, whether close or a far So be prepared for my attack You better watch your back You won’t be expecting it Just keep those candles’ lit ~'nother rhyming one..these poems that I have recently made threads for are oldies, mind you. Including this one. I didn't add punctuation because I'm a tad lazy. But I'll probably will in the new stuff. Thanks for the feedback.

Someone so oddly delightful Who would have thought Not my ignorant mind It was just a coincidence I told myself That you came and let yourself in But the more I thought about it You meant to do it All along It was peculiar The way our minds work We didn’t even think it through It just happened by chance Clear the air Of it’s obscure course Meaning to do so Was not in the deal Placing your foot on the road of danger Is not as wise as you may deem Its’ a risk you’re taking Also a mistake Be decent and understanding It will lead you right Not into me, who’s mind is corrupt Of the evil in this world Which is to be cleansed soon enough It breaks me, that you even considered it To be used and drawn into the ruse And where did you end up Like me Lost and still wandering

This rage inside of me, builds so uncontrollably How you seem to say everything so unknowingly It hurts so much And you don’t even care You just make me want to grab your face And open you eyes To see that you are hurting someone So much that it sears through my heart And I don’t let many things in there And yet it opens to you But that prick, it hurts like you’re stabbing me It stays in me, And I can’t civilly talk to you without having thoughts of murder People tell me to talk to you I’m afraid I don’t know what to say Especially when I know what you will tell me I’m trying to speak to you You’re not listening, just hearing There’s a difference between the two That prick grows stronger Burning right through me I want you to know That I hate what you do To me and no one else You and I both know it I want it to cease I’d let you know But it’s too late now I’m not a part of your life Its’ a shame, your loss But I’ll give you another chance If you’re intelligent enough to take it You’ll get the same old me Nothing more, nothing less And I hope that’s enough Because it’s all I have to give Shut that immaturity out of yourself It’s not you I’m telling you So, I want you to listen to me Listen to me ~maybe the non-rhyming thing may work. Although I've already made a lot of them..oh well.

I can read it. It says, "I'm slipping under a taste of poison paradise. I'm addicted to you. Don't you know that you're toxic?". It's cute. I also like the smear-yness to it. Good job, Valerie. (says) gretchen.

I like this alot. It makes me think about things I wouldn't normally think about. The effects of war, the inspiration you must have had to make it, and HOW you made. It's awesome. I could stare at it in wonder and not have anything to say because you've already said it in your picture. niice. xD Gretchen

Yeah, I didn't really know those were rose petals falling from the sky er what not. But now I see them. I do agree with the position and how you hands I think were supposed to be behind the back. The eyes puzzled me a bit. I was also looking for the pupils which seemed either to be looking the opposite way on both eyes. Do you see what I'm saying? Like they were hidden behind her hair. So, I think you could work on it and do try that thing where you put this picture away and then find it again and see the changes in you're drawing. You do have great potential. :)

Those are very very very niiiice!! I like the smeary effect you added. I think it's a nice touch. The 1st one of Legolas, I don't like as much. I can't really explain more than this, that he just doesn't really look like him. Maybe another elf, but I don't see much of a resemblence. You're anime drawings are very cute. Jack looks smaller! Like a mini-Jack. It's cute though. You're good. :D

That's really good! You're work reminds me of a friend of mine's work. (which is very sketchy--in a good way) :) It does have an unfinished look to it, being a doodle. But has very nice features to it. I like Kenshin alot! He looks quite nice there in you're "doodle". You're awesome. :D That look in his eye, ohh-good stuff right there. xD

Don’t bother me with your sorrow My heart is not something you can borrow Enlighten us all on your idea of care “I’ll always be by your side”, this you swear depart me of my desperate cries for something more than your pathetic lies So you took that chance to leave to the perfect life A chance to have me as mother and wife No one’s stopping you on this unexpected ride You’ll only have memories, them as your guide Your anger and frustration feeds your hungry determination Keeping everything in tact, in constant rotation Loyal to your responsibilities Has you turning to crazy insanities There’s that voice telling you to carry on Disguised as a girl, there til’ she’s gone Whispering sweet nothings in your ear Saying things for only you to hear It’s temptation shrieking on your shoulder Your minds’ yelling “go!”, you hearts’ getting colder The touch of her lips, couldn’t match those of whose they should It’s not like she’d do anything, it’s not like she could She would never know, never find out But then you hear yourself shout “It’s wrong, but it’s not alright.” “Let’s keep it gong, stay up all night” The now you made, was broken right then How the real woman was waiting til’ when You return covered with guilt and shame She just stood her ground, not even speaking your name She knew all along it would never be Didn’t want to be there, for you to see It’s enough you left, why return She gave you a chance, you didn’t learn She’s moved on now, no more little miss She’s not coming back, she promised you this