Chikara Kokoro

Very nice work. The best details have got to be on the lips and the hair which are both stunning. The only critiques I can offer for you are that the hand, although well drawn, is proportionately much too small, and that the arm looks flat because of the way you drew the shadow from the face. At least I think that's why.

Ignoring the other characters on the page, there are two major things that catch my attention. First are the arm things. There are way too many wrinkles drawn on them. It makes him look like he has extremely thick arms and gives him the look of a eleven-year-old body builder. Try to make them look more like gravity is working on them (have them sag more at the bottom), or have them be tight against the arm. Second is the neck. Not only is it too short, but it's also ignoring the age of the character. A boy usually doesn't go into puberty until he's a teenager, so why is it that this guy already has an Adam's apple? It adds to the eleven-year-old body builder look. Aside from those two things it seems pretty good, but he reminds me a bit too much of Son Goku from Saiyuki for my liking.

More than happy to help! I'm pretty sure I have tutorials bookmarked on just about any art related topic, so if you need help let me know. [url]http://www.fireyskye.net/prismatic/enlighten/paths/index.php[/url] I suggest reading this one first because it best shows the basics on how to use the pen tool that's used to digitally ink a sketch. [url]http://www.deviantart.com/view/20111334/[/url] This was made for inking in the traditional style (ie using pens), but I think it does the best job of showing where it's good to vary the thickness of a line in order to create interesting line art. [url]http://www.farlowstudios.com/inks.html[/url] This tutorial does a very good job of tying the basics of digital inking and the varying line widths together. There are some very helpful techniques there too. [url]http://www.deviantart.com/view/26204193/[/url] Finally, a tutorial on making comics. It isn't exactly a tutorial on inking, but it does show how to put a comic together which I figured could be useful. I hope at least one of them can help you with creating this

Ooh... very intriguing. Please continue, I want to know what happens ^^ I also have to say that I'm not a huge fan of penciled comics. Your art is amazing and it would be a shame to lose readership for a silly thing like that. As much as I hate to admit it, many people will only read a comic if they like the art in the first place. Some people's prejudice of pencil lines will not be able to overcome that and enjoy your story what it potentially is. One cheap alternative to going out and buying inking pens is to just download a free image editing program like the GIMP (what I use). That is, unless you added the script in a program like Photoshop or GIMP already in which case you're set to do digital inking anyways. You can use a program like that to make clean lines that you can then fill with a grey color or a computer tone mimicking pattern. Contrary to popular excuses, you do not need to have a tablet to create good line art with varying thicknesses on the computer. If you'd like links to any tutorials on that let me know. I myself am not a fan of comic sans, but that's your choice as a creator. But if you have good handwriting and you plan on continuing doing this in pencil, you might want to consider adding the text by hand. It can add a personality to the comic that can be lost by using an impersonal font. The "KLAT" in the first panel, while a very strange sound effect I've never heard of before, is well written. Shikyo is deliciously creepy, especially with the eyes. I adore the lack of emotion in them. Best of luck! I can't wait to see more!

This is a really adorable image you're using. The smoothness and fading of the art is very fitting for the look of the picture. Still, it's kind of blah in my opinion, though I can't quite find the reason other than maybe that it doesn't have text. 7/10

The first thing that caught my attention was the eyes. Most of the time the size of the eyes in proportion to the face is a style thing. I can understand that, but for me the eyes are much too large. The hair just looks like you scribbled a line without thinking about it. Look at other pictures of anime characters with similar hair and try to draw based around those pictures to develop your own way of drawing it. One of my characters has a similar hair style to what I think you were going for, so I'm attaching a file of a very messy sketch of him in case you have trouble finding reference pictures. Other than that I can't really tell you too much since it's just a picture of a head. Try to make the clothes more realistic, though, since the collar of his shirt seems very poofy, and I know I've never seen a shirt like that before in real life. Most of your lines seem to be very "sketchy" in that they aren't continuous lines. It would make the picture look much better if the lines were more smooth. I have to say that the overall shape of the head is well done, and even though the expression leaves me wondering what this character is feeling, it is also well drawn.

This might be kind of weird, but I wanted to check before really giving you a critique on your story, damatte. I just wanted to know if this is supposed to be a comedy or not. The characters you have talked about seem that way, but the premise- with the demon king and the assassin, etc.- feels more serious, if that makes sense.

My absolute favorite element of any story/manga/webcomic/movie/song, whatever, has to be creativity. In the world of webcomics and manga there are so many cliches that it's hard to find something that is truly unique. Even parodies of those cliches are becoming cliche all over again. Finding anything that's different is truly a breath of fresh air. I adore reading manga (or watching movies, or reading books) that you can tell the creator had a wonderful time creating because it shows right onto the pages. It's a rare occurrence, but when it happens there's nothing quite like it. Most important for me though is believable characters. Stories where the characters feel real is wonderful. When the creator of a story has a past for each character, and knows how they would react in any situation (and they do so like a real human would) it makes it a million times easier to feel for that character when things happen to them. When you have wonderful characters, you don't even really need a set plot because the story can just be all of the characters interacting. Good dialogue can be the savior of a bad plot. A little romance doesn't hurt either, just be certain that it doesn't get too mushy/soap opera.

I have to hand it to you, this story is pretty creative. With a little bit of tweaking it could be absolutely breath taking. It does have similar qualities with other manga, but I think what you're doing with the mythology of demons is interesting enough to forgive that. The name Anita is fantastic because it isn't Japanese, and that's very refreshing to me. One criticism I have to give is over what little dialogue, or what I'm assuming is dialogue, you have given. [QUOTE=mystic-chick] A line from the manga `I wear red to symbolise the blood that has been spilled, is being spillrd and will always be spilled. I also wear red as it means to be captured and that is what I am- captured by a destiny I didn`t choose` [/QUOTE] This is great symbolism, and I can tell you thought about it, but there's a little something called "show not tell" that I think you should be made aware of. Instead of having the characters explain everything that's going on, including their reasons for wearing certain things, just show it through their actions. It's okay to have a little bit of symbolism in there. That way, if somebody asked you "why does so and so always wear red?" you can have a really good answer to give to them. Some things are better left open to the mind of the reader. Also, the only way a person- remember that even if these characters aren't real people, you want them to feel that way to any readers you might have- would go into explaining why they always wear red is if somebody was bugging them about it I think (i.e. "Why do you wear red all the time, huh? That's kind of silly, you'd look really good in blue..." etc.). Even then, I think they'd be yelling. Although, I guess that ultimately depends on the personality of the character. One final thing, run spell check on your dialogue. It may seem silly, but I have a feeling that very few people would be willing to read a manga that had spelling mistakes all over the place.

This is pretty good art. Especially in regard to the Princess Ai pictures I would say that you are extremely well off as far as your age in relation to your skill. Keep it up and I'm sure you'll be an amazing artist. Is there any specific thing you wanted help with? Your art? Coming up with a manga story? I'll be happy to help with anything I can, but I can't if you don't say what you need help with ^-^

[quote name='alchemist102']ive been imitating Katy Coope much shes pritty good in most ways she draws upside down pointed egg shape heads for the eyes she also draws her eyes like backwards j's is that a good place to start from.[/quote] I'd say that Katy Coope isn't exactly the best role model for art. Depending on what you're looking at, some of her drawings can be rather off. Her style seems more amateur than Japanese artists. If you want to try a simple style, try mimicking Rumiko Takahashi or Hayao Miyazaki. It's easy to get a hold of reference of their art and although basic, both of their styles show clear knowledge of proportions and can be breathtaking when you least expect it. For now just follow whatever works for you. Just be sure to study actual human anatomy, that can save you a lot of struggle when you're coming up with original poses. Out of curiosity, is there any particular kind of style that you want to mimic, or are you just searching for ideas? (btw, when I started out I mostly drew like Toshihiro Ono if that helps)

A lot of parts of what you wrote I honestly couldn't understand what you were trying to say. What I could read does seem a bit like every other stereotypical shonen manga out there. Try to add some variation into it because to be perfectly honest, this shows little creativity. I am not writing this to break your spirit, but to just tell you that there's a long way to go before this will be able to show promise. Try to add something that will make a reader say, "Hey, this is different" and want to read it because it's interesting. Mangas that are based solely on swords and the subsequent fighting, not to mention the "I want to be the best" hero, get weak and hackneyed very quickly.

The artwork looks very good, but I think that you should really have more pages up before you can expect people to want to read/be able to review your webcomic. Most new webcomics stop arter either the cover page or the first five pages. Once you get past that point I might look at the comic more critically, but at the moment I have no idea what's going on. Your lineart can be darkened by using the "levels" tool under "Image"/"Adjust"/"Levels" just below it is the "Auto Levels" tool and it usually does a very good job. This will help the cover image look more professional. (I am assuming you scanned the lineart from a sketch without inking it). Most of the things I've learned about coloring have been learned through countless number of tutorials. Just keep on experimenting, practicing, learning. Since you're at this point at the very beginning of your webcomic, it shows great promise for stunning results if you keep at it.

Overall the pictures are very, very well done. The color choices in the 2nd to last one (my favorite of the bunch) are very striking and well chosen for that reason. The animal isn't nearly as impressive as the humans, and it's the only one I feel like I can actually critique. The style in general doesn't seem as well done/practiced as the human pictures. This is especially true with the mouth which looks much too angular and in that way somewhat sloppy. It's still good though.

Generally when I ink sketches I also use a separate copy in order to save the original sketch. It's easier if you use the computer, but if you can't, a light box should work fine. According to the official website, the design of the pen is made so that it "does not bleed through most papers. " Through my own trial and error this mainly means that it won't bleed through computer paper, but with notebook paper they make no guarantees. Of course, for it to not bleed through the paper you have to not press down so hard with the pen ^^ [quote name='darklore_x']i cant even find inking pens by my house :([/quote] Most people who live in America- sorry if you don't, but I'm assuming you do- have a Michael's somewhere near their home. I can pretty much promise you that with the right amount of searching you could find many different kinds of inking pens there. Oddly, there are also a large number of fabric stores that carry Sakura Micron pens. Good luck with trying to find some.

The only feedback I can really give is that you should perhaps try to develop an actual plot. At the moment it seems like all you're going to do it put three people together to fight eacher other/random monsters. The whole thing is kind of overused, so try to get a good plot in order to save the concept, okay? Another thing is that in modern times it would be extremely rare, I imagine, for someone, especially from Japan, to be seriously studying swords instead of trying to get into the top schools or trying to get a good job. On top of that, it's hard to imagine a fighting match between someone with a sword and someone with an axe outside of the land of video games. I can see the promise of something buried underneath, but it will take a lot of work to bring it out.

This is a very cool poem. The rythm was strong and clear, always good. It may be my personal preference, but the rhyming felt like you were trying a bit too hard. "Congratulations, new adult" was an apt coice of words, and a wonderfully sarcastic (not sure if that's the word I'm looking for) but fresh look at things on top of that. Great message, fantastic rhythm. Thumbs up.

The subject is pretty interesting and the words are well chosen as well as powerful, but this poem doesn't flow. The meter is off in most of the lines. In case you don't already, try ready your poems out loud when you edit them. It can help a lot.

The first image is very much like professional fashion croquis, and in that was it is extremely good for what I assume is a pair of doodles. The second one isn't quite as good, but still nice. Once again, very good fashion designer type picture. Especially for a picture from the back, many people have problems with that. The coloring of the eye is great, remarkable for it being your second time coloring on the computer.

I have to give you credit for being the first manga plot summary that I've been able to read all the way through on this forum and still be interested with it when I was done. I do think the story has promise, especially since the it's technically being told from the point of view of the bad guy. If you can show the conflict withing the main character well, then the story should be a good one. I have to also agree about the "Cloud King" thing. It sounds like a gracious king. The Storm King might work better. Any story with magical powers has a strong tendency to become cliché if done wrong. Be sure to keep an eye on this. Are you planning on posting this on the web? If so, please post a link for it once it's up. I'd love to see what direction this takes.

If by "it starts to bleed" you mean that the lines are becoming kind of, well, unlineish (unsure if there's a real word to describe what I mean) and starting to kind of have blobs on the end, then I have to say I had the exact same problem with the Sakura Micron pens when I started out. There are a few things that you can do to help this: 1) Don't press down the tip of the pen on the paper. Experiment with drawing lines and see what the least amount of pressure you can use while still getting a nice, uninterrupted line. That's probably the amount of pressure you should use until you get used to using the inking pens. 2) Draw a continuous line. This may be an obvious thing, but no matter what make sure that you are not "sketching" your inked lines. In order to get a clear line, you need to make sure you're making continuous strokes with the pen. and, most importantly, 3) PRACTICE! I promise you that the more you practice using the pens, the better you'll get. The other two things, if they don't come to you immediately, will get better over time. Just keep at it, and don't give up. Another suggestion is that to make sure that you have a .005 pen, this makes it easier to use this pen to first outline your sketch and then to change the thickness of the line with the larger sized pens later (kind of unrelated to your question, but it's a general tip for inking). On the subject of ballpoint pens, they usually create a sloppy look in comparison to the Sakura Micron pens. You can use a gel pen and get a better look than ballpoint, though. Since you have at least one Sakura Micron, I suggest you just stick to that for now.

I started drawing manga after seeing Pokémon and getting the manga by Toshihiro Ono (really good art in that, btw). I suppose that was around 2000. It's amazing how you start out drawing thinking that you're the best artist in the world, but after drawing for a while you become hyper-critical of just about everything.

Look at examples of eyes, and find what you like best. If you can draw eyes without the square method, that works (it's the way I draw them), but some people need the visual aides in order to be sure that they're placed correctly.

Thanks, I'll be sure to check the font "Digital Strip" out. It sounds very good for comics based on the name XD

One of the ways I come up with a basic story idea is to flip to a random page in a dictionary and choose a word. I then write that word in the middle of a piece of notebook paper and after thinking about the meanings and connotations of the word are, just write whatever comes into your mind about the word for as long as you can. Generally this at least helps to steer me in the right direction. If a certain word isn't working for you, then look up another one. There are many words in any dictionary, and it's very unlikely that you'd get the same word twice. After you have a story idea, the characters will probably basically create themselves, but for some people it is easier to create a story based around characters. If you're going to do that though, make sure to flesh out the character and know who they are before creating a story for them.