Grey Aurora

[B]Voice of Eons[/B] I?m finally at ease So I close my eyes I watch the world Leave me behind Forget about the Idea of time And quit asking why I refuse to drift With the coming tide Now your turn to Close your eyes Let the world pass by Catch your falling tears Why do you now cry? Wind rustles through trees Earth and water confide Voices shout questions Fire meets wood?s demise Minds converge on lies Calm your deep fears The world has passed you by [B]Ambiguous Antidote [/B] You refused sleep for those years Trying to cure this disease You ignored the jests of peers Hoping to put down the unease You only need to bide your time Before the call comes again You never committed any crime Forget the mockery of men You hide in the shadows of doubt Covering the haunting trails You discovered the only route Trying to hide your wails You won?t stop the riddle?s solution Waiting for that one answer You only mean to avoid pollution Finding the cure to this cancer You must be immune to sorrow Collecting scraps of joy You live for the day after tomorrow Mending the concept of poise You are our the only hope now Biting back harsh words You give more then others allow Shouting loud enough to be heard

[FONT=Times New Roman]Come Again? All around the words spoken remain in the same cloned pristine and monotonous form Nobody is anybody when you live in the real world which is filled with the bitter strife Somehow in the midst of this logically ironic ice age I keep myself emotionally warm Even your words match the tone and bring it home to cut me deep like a sharpened knife Likewise my words will be the sole type of rebuttal you face in this spitefully brutal storm When did you trade respect and tragic dignity for your very soul, nay your own life? Reality has been disintegrating into nothing more than a bona fide popularity contest And the boundary line of reality has never seemed so beyond the reach of my futile grasp Ever since you pulled me in deeper, the water has been over my head denying my rest You planned on swimming further until it was over your head, thus your breath became a rasp But instead of going under, I fully decided to keep a poem in my head and logic as my guest Now the party really starts when your friends walk in and separate me from attention?s clasp How is it I made it so far without being insulted by you or one of your friends and their pride? Why not fall back into my favor by pulling the mess of your life back together forever The words of your friends are driving me insane, they try so hard to give me nothing but snide I should sit back and wonder why you hate how I find the your word much less than clever Full of humor I find my ways to survive your thunder and upon the laughter of others I glide If friendship is a well oiled machine, then where?s the brake to stop, where?s the brake lever? Praise the lord the onlookers are finally gone, yet you still act like I?m from outer space Lights go off and the sun dips below the crest of the horizon all in all it has been a blast Conversation become inevitable as you approach with words that are said to my face A low blow it very well maybe, but my humor carries on as my eyes follow the past We keep running in circles trying to catch the other in the race to ruin the other?s grace Eyes lock as the final battle starts up and you throw me away and in the pool again you cast[/FONT]

[COLOR=MediumTurquoise]An Ode to Archaeology Scorched earth as far as the eye can see Ravishing streams running swift and sweet Blackened remains of humanity?s key Chances for new and final Eden elite Even among the idle of today Deep through a lost hole lies forgotten aid A lost civilization needing excavation In the influence of the sun years merely fade Volumes of proofs of prior reformation Are found as we elevate our presence Among all things that in water sunk Ruins in even the deep blue From which our God once drunk Yonder past the years infants ever knew Sailed across the divided ocean Erecting monoliths to keep us instantly in mind This new land had our curiosity only spurred Hand in hand we finally found our own kind To this place all of it has been lured In an out of pitch voice steeped in hymn[/COLOR]

I have three things to tackle in this post, so be prepared for quite a bit of reading. Firstly, Twisted Depth was the first poem I ever wrote, and that was around December. So it's a little rough around the edges, but I re-wrote it. Anyway, I was feeling lucky so I submitted Twisted Depth into a poetry contest that spans the U.S. Of course, you saw the rough version of it, I refined it later. And I recently was told that my poem Twisted Depth has made me a semi-finalist. It will be published in an upcoming book of poetry and I may win a thousand dollars too. Nevertheless, here is the refined edition. Oh, and this poem is from a story I'm writing, so that's why you get thrown in. Twisted Depth Even now the dim lights wane from my vision From this position I can feel the wrenching pain ahead Never again will I behold the light of penance Since some are born condemned as I, and other are born of privilege and right I shall weave through the vile night, Watching the sights of blind prophets Journeying through nightmares of the feeble Where empathy finds no solace among me Through the pouring sheets of blood I can see Heaven's angels Drawing their weapons to strike me down My soul may be twisted, But the true life is wretched And never what it appears to be Past the maelstrom of emotions I perceive the rose's thorns of revenge Piercing through my black heart And ending my damned legacy In a memorable crucifixation for the books

Prepare yourself, here comes Lucifer's hammer. First of all, I will start with Yin and Yang. This poem struck me as...abrupt perhaps. It would do good if you combined some lines so it doesn't strike people as being said in one breath. Next, what is with the line "Broken bones~Are set and heal"? Using broken bones to relate to heartbreak doesn't fit the poem very well. You never even mention anything related to breaking/broken in the rest of the poem! and even if you were to decide to keep the line, it should read, "Broken bones will set and heal" or "Broken bones eventually set and heal" or something along those lines. But if you really want to improve it, work on your vocab. Look up words in a thesarus or something, because the words should ebb and flow along. Throw away the basic words like, lose, hurt, and pain. Add in more sophisticated words that describe the concept of the poem in greater depth. Why use the word disappear when you could use vanish? And that brings me to my final problem, spelling. Poetry loses impact if some words are spelt wrong. Use a dictionary. As for Warning against Suicide, a better poem. The best I have seen of your poetry yet. Yet still far from perfect. Firstly, the line "Far back in your memories~Think first of those~You'll leave behind" isn't organized so hot. Try something else like,"Think first of those you'll leave behind from far back in your memories" Not exactly like that, but along those lines. And again, the spelling because you have a knack for spelling words wrong. Nothing big, but just check your poems in Word first. And yet again, work on your vocab. Substitute words like "transparent" with words like "lucid" Avoid using common words and aim for the melodious ones not used frequently. But make you sure you know what they mean.

Usually, I don't judge anyone else's poetry but my own. But, I fear I must make an exception now. First of all, Sciros has done a wonderful job of pointing out what is wrong, and I just want to build of this. After I finished reading this poem it struck me immediately as strange. Why should the reader's be wondering why they are crying? We need some insight onto this since we are as lost and unfufilled as the person who is the subject of the poem. Next, I need to applaud Sciros for pointing out the lack of parallelism. Almost anything can be cut out with almost no loss whatsoever. Why then did you write this poem? If any part can be removed with no loss then why even bother reading it? Every line and/or stanza in a poem should compliment and add to one another. And like a well-written thesis, everything should relate directly to the subject of the whole thing. It just needs a sort of explanation so at least we know why they are crying. I criticize not for the sake of insulting you, but I refuse to not give you the truth.

On the subject of divorce, I was aiming for refusal in that poem. Maybe a better word would be "forsaken" actually. Anyway, I was refering to my first time I asked a girl out. She didn't get married in any way, (i.e. she is still single) but I was still forsaken. I channeled my emotions into a poem where it would ease my pain. I'm kind of emotional in real life, but optimistic. Most of these poems were from before I started being optimistic. And one of my friends thought my poems were done by a professional before I told her I did them. And now, my first poem. [COLOR=Indigo]Twisted Depth Even now the light wanes from my vision, From my position I can feel the wrenching pain ahead Never again will I see the light of hope and salvation Some are born condemned as I, and others are born of privilege and right I shall move through the vile night, Seeing sights of the blind prophets of yesterday Journeying through nightmares of the weak Where empathy has no place among me, I have done an act that will smother the hope Through the pouring sheets of blood I can see heaven's angels Drawing their weapons to strike me down My soul may be twisted, But the true life is miserable And not what it appears to be Through the maelstrom of emotions, And through the controversy of mortality I can see the rose's thorns of revenge Piercing me through the heart, And ending my damned legacy In a memorable crucifixation that will endure forever [/COLOR]

Monotype Corsiva would be nice. ^_^ And thank you very much for making me a banner! Much graitude.

Brief? Darn, this is going to be tricky! ^_^ Anyway, the protagonist's name is Damon Longfellow, thus my title. Anyway, through matters out of his grasp his parents are inexplicably killed. A few years later he has a brief encounter with a girl at a bus stop on his way to his college classes. She dies because of a few gunshot wounds and changes his life forever. After said incident, he flees the scene and is later abducted. And his life is altered forever when he reaches his next destination. I can say no more as too much would be given away. ^_-

I was waiting for someone to ask this. So I guess I can say,"I thought you would never ask." ^_^ Anywho, I would make mine off my manga AtSF. Unfortunately, I don't have the patience to type up a summary right here. Or the time. ^_^

Err, even if that was sarcasm I believe this would be a good time to mention a few things. 1. This is not a professional manga I'm making. I'm merely an amateur writer trying to locate an artist who is willing to draw this for me. 2. I really am in no position to pay the artiist for this, and the materials cannot be payed for either. I'm sorry, but I'm to young to take up a job. 3. This is for recreation, I only need 25 pages in order to submit it to Tokyopop. Hopefully, it will be accepted and turned into a professional manga. 4. You must be willing to endure quite a bit of time for planning and such. This will be an effort on both our parts to create it. Therefore, if you it reaches the point at which it becomes a manga we will negotiate the earnings. If it makes it.

*Rolls up sleeves* Err, just my luck. I always seem to pick the worst boards to ask this question. Regardless, it matters because I come from a small animeboard that has many people with avatars of the opposite gender. Actually, I usually use female avatars even though I'm male which has caused...some very...unpleasant incidents. -_- This said, I like to approach people on equal footing when I'm online. I would hate to mistake someone's gender as it is also unpleasant. Besides, I treat everyone equally, I'm just trying to avoid trouble and somehow I found it again...how odd. And I'm sorry for provoking any unwanted emotions. Regard me as nothing more than an ignorant new member.

Okay, 6 or so months ago, I came up with an idea for a manga. I have worked dilligently but I have made little progress thus far. Probably because I don't have an artist. ^^;; Anyway, one of my friends drew me an awesome picture and I was hoping he would help me...no such luck. Therefore, I am also looking for an artist of highly skilled proportions. And when I mean skilled, I mean skilled. If you are interested and you are more than an exceptional artist you can find me on AIM under the name azulcrescent25. I will explain the details in fuull should you contact me. Thank you for your consideration and time.

What is your gender? I'm curious and want to make sure I know people's gender. Together we can end this gender confusion once and for all! ^_- Oh, I'm male.

I view myself as very mature and take pride in this fact. I am very young but I continually go beyond expectations. Unfortunately, I am angsty on occasion so I'm not quite done maturing yet. And combining my usually superior maturity with my appearance, I'm sometimes mistakenly believed to be 20 or older. When in fact, I'm a mere 14 years of age. Sure, at times I an be viewed immature, by teasing people. But, I only tease to show I'm staving off loneliness for those without friends. But, as mentioned I'm prone to fits of angst, though sometimes misinterpretedly. I handle matters with great care and tend to look at them through a practical view. Unfortunately, I'm so busy being mature sometimes the stress gets to me. By that I mean I have already had my first grey hair. And I'm 14. *_*

Heh, this is my first request. I would be grateful to the person that is willing to make me a banner with a picture of Auron from Final Fantasy 10. And I would like to have these words on it: Erecting monoliths to keep us instantly in mind This new land had our curiosity only spurred Hand in hand we finally found our own kind To this place all of it has been lured In a out of pitch voice in hymn And, if it isn't too much trouble, an Isaac avatar from Golden Sun would do me fine. Thank you for considering my request.

Princess Mononoke Plain and simple, I love this movie. There is technically new villain, since everyone is fighting for what will benefit those they care about. The demon possessed arm things was somewhat akin to genius, and the art was beautiful. The music was lovely and the backgrounds were eye-candy. Everything about it seem to fllow together smoothly, but then again, I expected nothing less from Miyazaki. Waitt until you meet the protagonist, Ashitaka. I was jealous of him, an all of you guys should be too. Hard as nails and skilled with a bow like no one's business. Of course, I was disappointed about how Ashitaka ended up, but he knew what was best. Watch it, and fall in love with this movie. However, it is anime so those of you anime haters should know in advance. Still, try iit especially if you hate anime. Martian Successor Nadesico: Prince of Darkness This movie was pretty good as a stand-alone, but if you have watched the whole series, you are in for a treat. Expect many guest appearances, but an odd lack of Akito. And who can say no to more Boson Jumping goodness. You may be put off by Ruri's lack of sarcasm however. Even so, she seems more down to Earth. Not literally though. Still, prepare for a cliffhanger ending. And of mecha turns you off, avoid this movie. Spirited Away I should not even have to say anything about this. Miyazaki.

Hey, thank you. ^_^ Anyway, I recycled the line, "On the day I met my shadow" to make sure you understood it was happening all in one day. To make positive that this occured to this one person within a 24 hour time period. Not some 365 day revelation. And, I'm going to post my next poem now. I hope it is allowed. ;_; [COLOR=DarkOrange]Shattered Words I walk these hallowed halls, In the acute bowels of shadow Stained glass windows remind me of What could never exist on that day, As the crystal bells peeled with jubilance Leaving me shattered and in pieces I couldn?t find the response within me, As often is when in the clear veil of betrayal Sight, sound, all lost to my senses The day that bouquet flew up to touch the sky As we all remembered the recent vows Uttered from the lips of cruel demon I was a man walking on a tightrope While blissfully blindfolded with love Those same eyes were gouged the day I was late And watched the love of my life Bind herself to a merciless monster To kingdom come And there was no reply I would pray to the heavens To call down the rain to wash The pain from your features Had not your inner demons melded With your demon of eternal bond Pain will fade, but hell is forever I walk these hallowed halls In the acute bowels of shadow Hating the day when You rejected me I twist with apparent unease When I see the pained looks you give me You always be so much to me And there is no reply[/COLOR]

Well, I'm new here if you hadn't guessed. ^_^ Anyway, I'm pretty well versed in poetry so I thought I would post mine and see what you guys think of it. I urge you to give some kind of constructiive criticism, so I can further my writing ability. And, I write a poem once every 2 weeks so I will update this regularly. Enjoy. [COLOR=DarkRed]Meeting My Shadow An overcast sky commanded attention On the day that I met my shadow Grey met black and black met void As the roiling clouds passed overhead On the day I that met my shadow Trials flitted past me to my left and right On the day that I met my shadow Sinister pressure had me in foul clutches Ancient wounds began to gape anew On the day that I met my shadow My blind faith was blinded further On the day that I met my shadow Sight came with knowing As my shadow erupted from the earth On the day that I met my shadow From depths of the abyss it raised up On the day that I met my shadow To snatch me from the jaws of depression And breathe breath into me once more On the day that I met my shadow That moment pulled my perspective On the day that I met my shadow It was me and I was it for a span of time I now walk casting no shadow Since the day I met my shadow No one knew any more On the day that I met my shadow That every shadow is more than black Because they are only disguises For our guardian angels, who are forever with us Which you will figure out on the day That you meet your own shadow[/COLOR]