MoRbIdYuLiA

-nods- ^_^. I will have new poems soon enough, I hope. :wigout:

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DimGray]I usually like goth/doom metal rock. It helps bring out the emotions I feel constantly. It's my personal stress reliever. The last voice that speaks to me at night :sleep: is proably A.F.I.'s Davey Havoc. As you can see I'm very attatched to my music[/COLOR].[/FONT] :love: ;) [FONT=Comic Sans MS]-[COLOR=DimGray]yulia[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkOrchid]I dunno but I have a fetish for people that play as Vampires for example this guy[/COLOR]:[/FONT] [IMG]http://lestat.de.lioncourt1.free.fr/lestatslaveoff.jpg[/IMG] Other than my unusual taste for vampires :love: I am attracted to the following: [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkOrchid]Eyes: Doesnt matter may vary. But I really like grey or black eyes I usually find myself mesmerized in black eyes since they are so secretive and mysterious.Blue eyes that are like icy blue usually stick out to me and get my attention because they're so hypnotizing. Hair:Black or Brown. Blonds are okay i usually drool over them if they were gothic with blonde hair lol. Hair can be slightly long like guys have it now which is so hot! Black spiky hair would be such a turn on ::daydreams:: Skin: Doesnt matter. I'm open to any race but some of my family member arent they usually stick to marrying thier own race. I...am definitely not like that. The whole tradition marrying your own race is totally overaded in my opinon. As long as the guy has a good personality,cute, and smart I'm open to that. I often get critisized in my family just because I like other guys that are other races but it doesnt matter I just shrug it off :) . Although I'm really attracted to pale guys for some reason [/COLOR] [/FONT] :tasty: [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=DarkOrchid]Personality: They have to be smart which really turns me on on a guy because I am one for word usage and that would be a major part in the guy i look for. I usually like artistic guys (painters,poet,writes songs, plays a instrument) like a guitar! I like guys in bands..gothic rock bands usually. Also of course they have to be funny. If the guy isnt funny than I seriously wouldnt spend my time on him despite his charms or looks. Also romantic would be good too like do something for you once in awhile even though his friends laugh at his a** for doing it. I dont like snobs they annoy me I usually want a outcast just as I myself am so I dont have to worry about social status or what people think of how I dress and act since I am afterall gothic. Also I'm into the whole morbid thing as you can see by my nickname. Height: I am old-fashioned too I guess. I want a guy thats taller than me like 6 ft. Weight: I LOVE thin guys. I'm not into the whole body builder thing for some reason. I like them natural skinny! *drool[/COLOR]*[/FONT] ;) :love: :love: :love: [COLOR=DarkOrchid]-yulia[/COLOR]

I am like Paine from FFX. I am quiete and dont get much attention from anyone and always quiete and secretive. I seldom talk and hardly talk to anyone much. I dont follow no one's rules for nothing. :flaming:

Ok the first time I got my period was in the summer before 4th grade. I was trying on clothes and all of a sudden my stomach started hurting like hell. For days, I didnt tell my mom because well, I dont know I was very ignorant and naive. I guess I didnt tell her because, since I am the only daughter she has she doesnt want me growing up too soon and she's not comfortable telling me about sex or periods. Anyways, at the moment I thought I was really sick or something which later I learned that my mom thought jus the same because her mom didnt tell her what it was so my mom thought it was a disease. She eventually found out (by going through my things and of course washing my clothes and found the stain). She got really worried (she always gets worried) and took me to a doctor. OMG such pain they caused me!!! I had to go through tests and crap. And at first a guy was gonna check what was wrong (in my vagina). I got all scared and crap I was like "I'm not gonna let some perv touch me where the light doesnt shine"!! Eventually they got some woman to (which was really really disturbing)!!! Then they made me get my bladder full so I could do some test and I had to drink LOTS of Gatorade. IT WAS HELL!! I cant tell you how much pain i went through. Then I asked my mom how long I was going to have and then she was like "FOREVER" I was like "nooo I'm cursed for life". Now i have had it for 4 yrs and used to it altough I tend to get in really bad moods at everyone >.

[CENTER] Marilyn Manson - Redeemer Lyrics The hunger inside given to me, makes me what I am Always it is calling me, for the blood of man They say I cannot be this, I am jaded, hiding from the day. I can't bare, I cannot tame the hunger in me Oh, I say I did it always searching, you can't **** with fate. So instead you'll taste my pain. The hunger inside given to me, makes me feel alive. Always out stalking prey, in the dark I hide. Feeling, falling, hating, feel like I am fading, hating life. They say I cannot be this, I am jaded, hiding from the day. I can't bare, I cannot tame the hunger in me... Oh, I say I did it always searching, you can't **** with fate. So instead you'll taste my pain. You say your life I'm taking, always bothering me, I can't take this anymore, I'm failing, always smothering me You look down on me, hey what you see, take this gift from me, you will soon feed from me. Nothing seems exciting, always the same hiding It's haunting me. It's haunting me. It's haunting me. It's haunting me. It's haunting me... Kidney Thieves- Before I'm Dead A blade over my head Reminds me what to do before I'm dead Night consumes light And all I dread Reminds me what to do before I'm dead The sun reclines Eats my mind Reminds me what to leave behind Light eats night And all I never said Reminds me what to do before I?m? To see you To touch you To see you To touch you Epochs fly, reminds me What I hide, reminds me The desert skies Cracks the spies Reminds me what I never tried The ocean wide salted red Reminds me what to do before I?m? To see you To touch you To feel you To tell you The sun reclines - remind me The desert skies - remind me The ocean wide salted red Reminds me what to do before I?m? See you Touch you Feel you Tell you David Draiman of Disturbed / KoRn - Forsaken Lyrics I'm over it You see I'm falling in the vast abyss Clouded by memories of the past At last I see [Pre1] I hear it fading, I can't speak it Or else you will dig my grave You feel them finding, always whining Take my hand now be alive [Chorus] You see I cannot be forsaken Because I'm not the only one We walk amongst you feeding, raping Must we hide from everyone? I'm over it Why can't we be together embrace it? Sleeping so long taking off the mask At last I see [Pre2] My fear is fading, I can't speak it Or else you will dig my grave You feel them finding, always whining Take my hand now be alive [Chorus x 2] Everyone Everyone Head Like A Hole (Opal) Lyrics by NIN God money I'll do anything for you God money just tell me what you want me to God money nail me up against the wall God money don't want everything he wants it all No you can't take it No you can't take it No you can't take that away from me No you can't take it No you can't take it No you can't take that away from me Head like a hole Black as your soul I'd rather die than give you control Head like a hole Black as your soul I'd rather die than give you control Bow down before the one you serve You're going to get what you deserve Bow down before the one you serve You're going to get what you deserve God money's not looking for the cure God money's not concerned with the sick amongst the pure God money let's go dancing on the backs of the bruised God money's not one to choose You know who you are The Perfect Drug Lyrics by NIN I got my head but my head is unraveling cant keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling I got my heart but my heart's no good you're the only one that's understood I come along but I don't know where you're taking me I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky the more I give to you the more I die and I want you you are the perfect drug the perfect drug the perfect drug the perfect drug you make me hard when i'm all soft inside I see the truth when i'm all stupid-eyed the arrow goes straight through my heart without you everything just falls apart my blood just wants to say hello to you my fear is warm to get inside of you my soul is so afraid to realize how every little bit is left of me take me with you without you everything just falls apart it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces[/CENTER] I wanted to share these songs because I absolutely love them. Most of you will recognize them I am sure. -yulia

[QUOTE=Ashton]CLOWNS! OMG, those guys scare me. I remember the circus...I can't even talk about it without reliving the horror. :( Their painted faces! Their laughter! It sickens me. *Shivers* I'm afraid of clowns, yes...I just wanna take a hammer and... :bash:[/QUOTE] Definitely would have to agree with that. I am not scared much of anything but that is the only thing that makes me freak out. That and porcelain dolls. When I was but a young child my grandma would buy me these porcelain dolls and...I dunno for some reason I took fear of them. I am not afraid of the dark or any other things, for I love the dark, it's mysterious and seducting how could I not love it? The night and it's vast land of secrecies. Just clowns are the things that give me the shivers especially the evil clowns and thier screechy laughter! :eek: -yulia

[QUOTE=Ayokano]Why should Bush go and fight the war when he isn't in the military? You know, he already has the whole president thing going on. Also, your brother must have signed up for the military, unless we had a draft(which I don't think we have), and should be willing to serve the country he lives in, because that seems what the U.S's army is about. And we [b]do[/b] need soldiers over there. Iraq didn't have a leader after we took Sadam out of power. And when we trasfered power to the people of Iraq, we aren't going to pull out as fast as we can. It takes time to get a army out of a country. If Bush is a nut case, and loves death and blood, and this war was started because he loves it so much, I am sure the war would be over and Bush would be out of office. Yes you do have the right to speak your mind, but Moore's film is full of lies and extremly radical ideas. He is the true nut case.[/QUOTE] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]It doesnt matter if he is in the military or not the fact of the matter is he says ""we are gonna get em" WE? He isnt doing nothing but giving directions when all the Iraqians want him to do is get the soldiers out because they feel U.S. is interfering with their country and beliefs. Besides, they already have their own power now, their own Government why should they still remain over there when there is nothing to do?Not techniquely, alot of people are STILL voting for Bush. Carrie is winning by a couple of more percent. Moore is just trying to expose Bush because he doesnt want him in office anymore. Alot of people dont want him in office anymore including celebrities. When this war first began, people thought that what he was doing was right which he was doing something right by trying to capture Saddam. Now they have captured Saddam and they are still there and many people all the soldiers are dying for nothing when they have no use for them over there anymore. And yes, my brother signed up for the military to show his grattitude for this country but he did not wish to get sent to Iraq. He was about to get out less than a couple of months and finally be with us once again. But they chose for him to go and "serve his country" when he doesnt believe in this war anymore. I believe Bush is the real nut case. No doubt about it.[/FONT] -yulia

[QUOTE=gothicanimechic]i've always been an outcast. right from my first day of school, i knew. you can see what people think-it's in their faces. "eew, look at her, she's FAT" "omg, she is so ugly" "where did she get her fashion sense from? a cereal box??" i never had any friends at primary school. that went on for 10 years. then i went to high school. at least here i had some friends. but the teasing never stopped. it's hard to accept that you are never going to be what you thought you would. it's hard to forget the teasing, the pain... even though i'm only 14, i've experienced a lot of things. and it's all because of my looks. no matter what people say, no matter what they try to do, they can never change people's opinion of you. it's hard to forget the pain. i never have. i never will. 14 years. it'll never stop.[/QUOTE] [FONT=Georgia]ok I totally know what you mean. I walk in the hallways and it's a social sterotype that I get called names just because I dress in all black and I'm different than everyone else. It's a disaster dealing with it everyday. I do not wish to complain for I am not a one to whine about such things. I am what I am and as far as I'm concerned no one can change me or my desire to be different than everyone else. I consider myself as "independent". No labels. If others wish to label me than so be it but until than I remain me...I do admit I never talk much...if it is very seldom...no one really understands what it's like growing up in Russia unless they have experienced it....in this case I have...growing up in poverty and Dictatorship is a hard thing to do...I only wish when I came to Amerika that people would treat me better but instead all I got is name callings because of my accent >.

People I wouldnt want to have as a roomate are probably Ash Ketchum from Pokemon,Misty,or Brock simply because they're too nice and sweet and would totally disgust me with their sweetness and innocence. And that girl from Tenchi Muyo the blonde one because she's an airhead and I would get pissed off without her since I have no patience with people like that. -yulia

I would either have to go with...Tenchu types of games. Have any of you ever played Tenchu "Wrath of Heaven"? If not I suggest you do. But anyways back to the subject I would go with that because it's so graphic or FF just because I like the fact it's like a story and it never ends... -yulia

I would have to pick Ozzy a.k.a. "The Lord Of Darkness". He's a all- time legend! Who wouldnt go for him? lol. Also because I cant believe he's still alive after all his bones bieng crushed and he managed to make it!! He also brought us the Ozzfest and I am one to definitely apreciate that! -yulia

I think this movie "Farenheit 9/11 has a right to go on without controversy. People need to see how "our" president really is. It's not right to let all innocent lives suffer and families in apprehension as their loved ones are lost day by day while he sits in his House unhurt. I suggest many of you see it because it brings out the wrong in him and I am saying this because I have a brother in the military and might be sent off to Iraq even though they dont need anymore soldiers over there than they have now. I dont think U.S. has any business there anymore. They captured Saddam so why are they still there??!! I think Bush is making an excuse of being there just because he loves the idea of blood,war, and death. Of course this is only my opinion...but I am an Amerikan right?In the end opions dont matter....but WE do have a right to speak our minds despite everything. It's hard enough just trying to make it here being a Russian that I am...but heh I survived. #^_^# -yulia

[FONT=Georgia]I'm into gothic music and drawing is my passion since I was a child. I started writing poetry and novels when I was 10 yrs of age. I play electric guitar and I'm in a band as the singer and lead guitarest of "WickedTears". I am from Japan so I do some origami (one of my things that amuses me for past time). I love skateboarding but currently im in a cast right now >.< dont ask it's a long story. Running Car, Dare, Grind, Fall, are the keywords lol. Anyways, writing is my passion as I have been writing for years. I like anime such as Inuyasha, Rerouni Kenshin, Tenchi Muyo, Cowboy Bebop, DragonBall GT, and many more. I like mythology and Cathedrals in New Orleans and England. I am gothic as you may already see by my Nickname lol. I love the bands, Orgy, A.F.I. Disturbed As I lay Dying and more. Led Zepplin is like one of my fav bands. I speak my native language, Japanese and some Russian and but of course English ^_^. Thats it.[/FONT]

[FONT=Georgia]I admire your poetry...such emotions of life of which you speak. If you can please write more..I wish to hear more of your work.[/FONT]

[font=Century Gothic][center]Raven's Sorrow [/center] [center][/font][font=Century Gothic]In the darkest hour of the night I listen to the Raven sing to the moon[/center] [center]Among the tranquility of silence in It's haven[/center] [center]Perched amongst the branch spilling It's sorrow to the sultry and forlorn night[/center] [center]that takes the night's breath away with It's mournfal cries.[/center] [center]Lonesome.[/center] [center]As the wind whispers silently to the naked ear.[/center] [center]The Raven chants on to the broken and deafening silence that hangs over the air suddenly the Raven flies across the dead sky filled with secrecies and seducing [/center] [center]mysteries. [/center] [center]Leaving no remains of It's presense behind but It's sorrowful tears[/center] . [/font][font=Century Gothic][b]A kiss for sweet serene bliss[/b] To get away from our miserable lives. [b]Hatred in a world sedated[/b] To bind and lock it away for everlasting eternity. [b]Social Distortion to our ignorant Nation[/b] To live for a world with violence and anarchy. [b]In a world filled with Rapists, and Robbers[/b] To absorb other's energy to one who has no courage nay confidence. [b]Runnaways leaving their families with apprehension[/b] To leave their troubles behind thinking they will distintigrate. [b]War and a Man who remains in the whitehouse while soldiers do his corrupted task[/b] To keep cover in his House while millions of men are massacred brutally day by day. [b]The world is awaiting It's Judgment Day...[/b] [b]the cause of HatredtragedyWar[/b]. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anne Rice, another talented writer. The very wording penetrates your very aspect of being in life just to go on to the next page for hours. It engulfs you in a way no other book has. I am greatly astounded by the word usage that describes the mood,thatspulls you in the book with such great stength, and last but not least the hollow and solitary existance of a miserbale vampire, not like no author has described with such perfect and exquisite detail. Mark my word, these books, you will eventually devour from page to page. I promise you with every cell of my little immortal black heart and soul. Here are the following: "Queen of the Damned" "Interview from the Vampire" "The Vampire Lestat" "The Vampire Armand" Do with thy what you wilt. I am merely showing you a different point of view from the life of a Vampire. Many wishes to you if you get it through without craving more, Just as I have done. I am sure you will despite all. yulia "We've hidden in the shadows for much too long..much to long... [center][font=Century Gothic]Because of You and Only You[/center] [center]As we are standing outside the balcony[/center] [center]the heavenly clear[/center] [center]pure air[/center] [center]surrounds us[/center] [center]as your shaggy black hair[/center] [center]gracefully blowing in the air makes me devouringly stare[/center] [center]the bright shining crescent hits your intense green eyes and pale structured face[/center] [center]this is a celestial moment I dare not to waste[/center] [center]carefully your grasp my hand as if it were made of porcelain and you were afraid to break it[/center] [center]it was then I noticed how delicate your touch was[/center] [center]at that moment you indured a lustful power over me[/center] [center]as if trying to break the silence that hung over us[/center] [center]you placed your lips on mine gently[/center] [center]From that moment on you became everything to me[/center] [center]every minute of the day I thought about you constantly[/center] [center]24.7 daydreaming wherever i went[/center] [center]anyone could have so it[/center] [center]I was so everclear[/center] [center]so transparent[/center] [center]a new feeling of warmth entered my jadd soul and soon became apart of me[/center] [center]fading away all the heart killing sorrow that haunted me so badly[/center] [center]I thanked the spirits for you and gave you all my love[/center] [center]to me you were like an angel sent from above[/center] [center]One cold afternoon as I was walking along the sidewalk[/center] [center]I found you hand and hand laughing with some girl and kissing[/center] [center]for the next month or so I layed in my damp room[/center] [center]crying all day[/center] [center]and all night[/center] [center]hiding myself from the sun and light[/center] [center]constantly sobbing tears throught the day[/center] [center]realizing i could not go on this way [/center] [center]I erased every memory of you from my head[/center] [center]to me I dont know you now to me [/center] [center]you have long been long since dead[/center] [center]I despise you for what you did to me[/center] [center]now because of you I can no longer trust anyone completely[/center] [center]now i will make sure[/center] [center]my heart is secure[/center] [center]when in a relationship[/center] [center]no more trusting partnership[/center] [center]it will take me a long time before I can gain[/center] [center]my trust I so recently lost again[/center] [center]because of you[/center] [center]and only you[/center] "this is dedicated to my former love who betrayed me and left me with the aching pain back in Japan" -yulia[/font] [font=Georgia]Chianna takes out her dagger. Her pale porcelain white face shows no expression as the celestial crescent shines above her. Pain takes over her forlorn body now abused with the chains and scrapes covered her body. Her eyes, jaded, show the pain she now is so accustomed to. Pain consumed her. She remembers so vividly of the abusing raping she received. Violated. Paranoia is part of her black soul. Her stomach growls fading away the utter silence that filled the chamber tower. The humid night, silver and cold, seems to make time stand still feeling like it could last a lifetime, forevermore. The wind whispers in her ear, chanting her demise. Memories appear and reappear in her head, only haunting her of the tragedy she received that night. [font=Georgia][/font] [font=Georgia]She walks up to a picture of herself now for many years lost in the shadows and forsaken, was once a happy child, vibrant, and healthy, looks at herself in the mirror, but sees no reflection/ Gosh what have I become? A cold, immortal, cruel and bitter, is what I have become. [/font] [font=Georgia]I did not know what have become of herself during this deep settled moonlight night . She found herself on the floor as she had been flung there brutally. Lost again. She rose on her feet, scanning the area to find a [/font] [font=Georgia]Herself in a chamber. Lying across the floor, were decayed flesh, which seemed have been long since forgotten. Maggots feasting upon the remains of the slaughtered man. I turned my head in distaste, not bearing a site of which my eyes could behold much longer. [/font] [font=Georgia]Tell me what you think on this fragments of a story. Give me critism! So i can fix what I am doing wrong.[/font] [font=Georgia]-yulia[/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][color=#c0c0c0]I tighten my arms around him Beckon him not to go. The rain falls like a streaming cascade. So swift and gracious?so luminously slow. The night whispers horrible tragedy, echoing thought this remote existence. I gaze in his hollow deepened eyes So expressionless and solemn? The years we spent together were divine. Now I feel the times reaching to its very end. The first time we laid eyes on each other it blissful. It was inevitable this tragedy would happen. No doubt. I cant bear this tension, this silence. It?s tightening the my insides in and out. Jaded, and abused, my heart only desires we could overcome this mental violence. Now in our sweetest torment we stand mute and lifeless. I can sense us being torn apart, unable to be woven back again. He walks away from me without speaking a not even the slightest utterance. Not at all attempting to glance back. Goodbye my sweetest sin. Crimson blood tears leave my eyes Pouring down my cheek resembling the melancholy drops of rain? The moon hits my depleted face spilling it?s sorrow, sharing her wretched misery. Paine consumes me and drowns me whole. Driving me into insanity as I realize myself falling in a fast abyss[/color][/font].[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]Moss Hung cypresses hung beyond in a distance,[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]on the tendrils agleam I gaze in discrete silence.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]Such wondrous aglow, diminishing the pain I withhold.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]Wisteria so sheerly incandescent,[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]lingering is all the worthwhile for this everlasting purity.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]Just for this evanescent moment of sweet blissful elation.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]I observe this moment enamored in fascination.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]In a remote existence, [/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]I stand mused by my own self-indulgence.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]One more cataclysmic occurrence[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]Another to the heap?[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]Walking the woods in isolation,[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]the night shines it?s sorrow down on me.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]A surge of unwelcome memories haunt me utterly[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]of my earlier period, almost vividly surreal, [/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]yet seeming so vague and concealed.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]A plea for this desire to become realism,[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]the long lost perfume that till at this moment flusters me,[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]is nothing more but a state of dreaming wistfully.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]That very fragrance that courses through my veins,[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]sweeter than life itself, drives my spirit inane.[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]I knew peace only when I?m there,[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]it is my tranquility, my haven from despair?[/font] [font=Palatino Linotype]This is a poem about my longing for my home,Japan...[/font] [COLOR=Black][/font][font=Verdana][size=1][color=red]Please [i]do not[/i] double post. Otakuboards does not allow double posting. Simply edit your original post. If I find that you have double posted again, I will close this thread. -- Lady Asphyxia[/color][/size][/font][/COLOR] ok

[CENTER][FONT=Century Gothic]I shed tears as we depart for a long journey my dusky, unwholesome thoughts run like adrenaline swiftly I reminisce about the faded memories that seem so far away as the dim days seems so depressing and overcast, so faded, so jaded and gray, my deep aspiration for the way things used to be eversince the angel of demise took your hand to leave this meserable bleak world and leave me for everlasting infinity. The aggravation and the tears that have broken me down for the dreadful and unmending years have finally collapsed from me into tears and caused paranoia from my own fears staining my jaded soul with a black hole leaving me with sorrow and feeling now emotions so hallow. My feelings have been drained, replacing them with the engraved burning pain I am left with the depression and I know I will never be the same. As my drops of tears fall silently like melancholy rain. My soul grasping for your everlasting touch, your sweet fragrance I devoured so much is foreign and stupefying to me like the spirit that has left me completely. Your immortal figure lingers through my dreams and mind and when I wake up, you are not to be found except for the chiming air that makes a sorrowful sound. Your demented, psychotic, Alluring, demonic, and hypnotic figure fantasizes me mentally I desire your presence no longer mentally, but physically but then I realize it's just a fantasy how I only crave for it to be reality. In the dead of the night I can hear your soothing voice chanting as the moonlighted mystical crescent shines above us all I look up at the misty night but you're not in sight. Suddenly I feel a unevitable cold embrace then I see your immortal figure standing before me everclear pure heavenly white lace I realize this is a celestial moment I dare not to waste I drift away and fall asleep in your arms. The next day there is no sign of you no trace it is then I realize I will never get another chance to be with you no matter what I do Never Again..[/FONT].[/CENTER]