Dragon Warrior

Well, "Buy Our Stuff" wasn't the announcer. That was just me and my friend running across stage acting crazy and repeating "Buy Our Stuff" over and over again while punching one another with boxes. O.o The script has changed A LOT since this version.

Thanx. It'll be better acted out. We're suppose to tape it, then show it to the class. It'll be like a real show ^^

This is a script I wrote for my drama class that I must act out with 3 other peeps. Some of you may be aware already, but I am Gavin. In the script, you'll find my friend's real names Mike, Mandy, and Wes. These names will show only for their main parts. So Mike will be the host, I will be En Rico de Monte a la Fallon Gonzales, Wes will be the evil troll, and Mandy will be Suzy Sunday. Remember that. Anyways, the script is making fun of the old dating shows where the bachelorette asks questions to three guys she can't see and chooses which one she likes best. The dating show is called [U]Married Against Your Will[/U]. Enjoy! [SIZE=3]Marry against your[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]WILL[/SIZE] [u]Cast[/u] [b]Gavin Brown-[/b] En Rico de Monte a la Fallon Gonzales/voice of Invisible Man [b]Mandy Morris-[/b] Suzy Sunday [b]Mike Barnhart-[/b] Host Hostess [b]Wesley Oldham-[/b] Alex the Evil Troll/Announcer/Brute Announcer: And now, the host of America?s most hated show [u]Marry Against Your Will[/u], HOST HOSTESS! Mike: (jumps out) Hey New York! (long silence) Man: (coughs) Mike: (flips switch: applause done by Mandy, Wes, and Gavin. Turns off switch and walks to podium) Let?s get started. The bachelorette must choose one of the three bachelors and go home with them. And here they are. Bachelor #1... Wes: (walks in and sits on first stool) Mike: Bachelor #1 is a loser? Wes: Hey! I take off- Mike: (interrupts) His name is Alex and he?s an evil troll. Man: (claps) Mike: Bachelor #2... Gavin: (walks in and sits on the 2nd stool) Mike: Get up! You can?t sit down yet! Gavin: (looks and points to Wes) But he did. Mike: Get up! Gavin: (stands) Mike: Bachelor #2 is also a loser. His name is En Rico de Monte a la Fallon Gonzales whom seems to have a problem with standing. Gavin: (shivers) So? cold? Mike: He also has a disorder? of some kind. And now for Bachelor #3! Gavin: (sits) Mike: Stand up! Gavin: (stands up) Why are you so cruel? Mike: Okay. Bachelor #3... Invisible Man: (screen pans blank spot up to the 3rd stool) Hey! Man in Audience: Where is he? Mike: The 3rd Bachelor is an invisible man from? who knows where. Invisible Man: Seattle. Mike: Just sit down. Gavin: (sits down) Mike: Not you! Gavin: (remains seated) Mike: And now our lovely bachelorette? Wes: (stands) Mike: Umm? right? now for our bachelorette Suzy Sunday! Mandy: (walks in and sits down) Hi all! Mike: Quiet! Now then, let?s start this show! Mandy: Okay. Bachelor #1, should I pick you? Wes: Yes, because my only bad habit is murdering wives. Mandy: Sounds nice. Bachelor #2, what about you? Gavin: What about me? Mandy: Should I pick you? Gavin: For what? Some government experiment!? Mandy: No, silly. To get married. Gavin: To what? An alien chipmunk? Mandy: No! To me! Gavin: Do what to you/ Mandy: Bachelor #3, should I choose you? Invisible Man: Hmm? I dunno. Mandy: Okay. Bachelor #1, where were you born? Wes: In the gates of Hell! Mandy: Hell, Michigan? Wes: Uhh? yeah. (shifts eyes) Mandy: That?s cool! Bachelor #2, where were you born? Gavin: Stay away! You?re covered with germs like all the rest! Mandy: What? Gavin: (scrubs himself) Unclean! So unclean! Mandy: That?s nice. Bachelor #3, how about you? Invisible Man: Umm? not sure. Mandy: Bachelor #1, what about you? Wes: I was born in the gates of Hell! Mandy: Hell, Michigan? Wes: Uhh? yeah. (shifts eyes) Mandy: That?s nice. Bachelor #1, what would you do for our date? Wes: I don?t date! You will marry me! Mandy: Sounds fun. #2? Gavin: Well? (becomes nervous) Oh yeah! I?m glad I brought this certain book which is the only book I brought. (reaches into shirt and takes out [u]Dracula[/u]) Whoops. I?m glad I have this other book which is the only book I brought. (takes out [u]Dating For Dummies[/u]) Let?s see here? first kiss? hot dog stand? ah! Here it is? Umm, I?d take you to a romantic dinner and mover. (looks closer) Movie! Movie. Mandy: That sounds dandy! Gavin: (looks at book) I love you too. (leans in for a kiss) Mandy: Sure! Anyways, Bachelor #3, what about you? Invisible Man: What? Mandy: What would you do on our date? Invisible Man: Do on what now? Mandy: Our date. Invisible Man: What?s a date? Mandy: Well? it?s when a? that is? you see, two people? umm? (smiles) Bachelor #1, what is your idea of a romantic evening? Wes: Romantic? I don?t understand. Mandy: What?s your idea of an evening? Wes: Evening? Mandy: What is your idea of a- Wes: Idea? I-I don?t think I follow. Mandy: #2, what is your idea of a romantic evening? Gavin: (leans back in chair) Well, first I?d plan on visiting my old home in England where I was a young lad. Then we?d discuss mathematical equations that can?t be solved as well as the kaleidoscope circumference of the ancient race of jeriseameumanitarsiliks. And finally, we?d feast on crumpets while speaking of the Meaning of Life which I alone possess knowledge of with the possible exception of the guy that works at the laundry mat. (looks over his shoulder) Can I get cheese with this? Mandy: Sounds fascinating. Bachelor #3, what about you? Invisible Man: What was the question? Mandy: The question is? umm? I guess I forgot. Bachelor #1, if you could do anything in the world, what would it be? Wes: I would be reborn as an angel. (clasps hands together and smiles) Mandy: What was that? Wes: Umm? I?d DESTROY everything! Mandy: I?d like to try that too. #2? Gavin: Yeah? What? Mandy: Umm? what would you like to do if you could do anything? Gavin: I?d buy more soda! Mandy: If you could do anything? Gavin: Oh! Orange soda! Mandy: You?d buy orange soda if you could do anything? Gavin: Yeah, woman! Can?t you hea-Anything? Oh geez? I dunno? wait? I could trade my 1 trillion dollar bill for a Sunkist orange soda! Mandy: I?ll be there when you do. #3, how about you? Invisible Man: If I could do what now? Mandy: Anything. Invisible Man: Eh? why not. Mandy: That doesn?t answer my question. Invisible Man: Indeed. Mike: That?s great? we?ll tell you who she picks after this commercial break! [SIZE=4]BUY OUR STUFF! BUY OUR STUFF![/SIZE] Announcer: And we?re back! Mike/Mandy: (kissing) Announcer: Umm? I said we?re back! Mike: (gets up) Oh! Umm? well, caught me off guard.. Heh heh? (fixes tie) so let?s see who she chooses. Will it be? Bachelor #1 (screen goes to Wes), Bachelor #2 (screen goes to Gavin), Bachelor #3 (screen goes to empty stool), or Bachelor #4 (goes back to Gavin) Gavin: (makes a look) Mandy: I choose? (pause) THE HOST! (runs up to Mike) Mike: What? Wes/Gavin: (stand) WHAT? Wes: You can?t choose him! Gavin: Yeah. We wanted him! Wes: (looks at Gavin) What? Gavin: Umm? I mean her. Her. (looks down at shoes) Mike: I believe she?s decided. Gavin: I have? Mike: No! Suzy! Gavin: Awww? Mike: I believe you all know what happens if you don?t win on this show. Gavin: Uhh? no. What? Mike: (nods) Wes: (appears as Brute with a knife and swings it) Gavin: (zooms in on his face) NOOOO!!! Announcer: Thanks for watching the show! Now the credits! [B]Credits[/B] [SIZE=4]BUY OUR STUFF! BUY OUR STUFF![/SIZE] [b]The End[/b]

1) If you could have any super power, what would it be? Psychic abilities would be nice since you could control lots of things and not just minds. You could control thunder and wind and lots of stuff. Plus, you could fly (HAHA DEEDS!) 2) What would you do with your powers? Well, I'd use it for everyday things, but then again, i could also use them for helping peeps. 3) Would you use it to do good, or evil? Evil... I mean... good *shifts eyes*

I already have the next chapter out. I have 10 done at this moment. I just wanna keep you peeps in suspense and whatnot. Here ya go: [B]Chapter II[/B] Orono immediately began galloping towards the large building in the distance. It called out to him; the echoes of it?s cry whistling through his hair. Time and time again, mirages played tricks with his mind, but he was sure this was no mere illusion; he could tell this one was real. The King and Peers tried to keep up, but Orono left them in his dust of excitement. They came to the base of the cliff that the stronghold sat on and looked up. It wasn?t steep. In fact, it was a simple grassy path that the horses could take. They began to ride again along the hillside and up the cliff. The thrill kept Orono going and without tire. The same could probably be said for the King and Peers. Most likely not with the horses, though. By the time they reached their destination, the horses collapsed to the ground of soft grass. Sweat dripped down their sides near their tangled masses of mane hair. Orono petted his horse and picked up his sack and sword from the saddle on his horse. The King and Peers did the same. With that, they walked the few paces that lead to the castle doors. Taking hold of the knocker, the King swung it and it made a loud thud on the wooden gates. Nothing came. The King tried again. This time, shortly after he had knocked, there came a laugh and then a whole bunch of laughter. ?A celebration!? Peers announced with glee. ?Maybe.? Orono said. It was his turn to try. He took the knocker and slammed it hard against the doors. The sound of it smashing as it did was like thunder across a quiet plain. Whoever was in there was sure to here it. And like assumed, someone began opening the door. It was a tall man; a bit bigger than Orono. He held an axe in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other. ?Yeah?? He bellowed. ?Ahem? I am King of Lirese, King Mortana. May we seek shelter in your humble abode?? The rather large man swished his drink around, looked into it, and gulped down the last bit he belched rudely and answered in his usual manner. ?Yeah! Why not? We?re having a feast and anyone could join us if they wish. Come on in!? The King and Peers entered cautiously with Orono following. ?I don?t like this.? Orono mumbled as the hefty man closed the gates to the castle. They were in and this was it. It seemed nicer inside than outside. There were probably hundreds of people gathered around tables and laughing as they drank ale and other fine wines. The man held out his empty glass to a servant who poured more in for him. He waved the newly-filled glass and shouted, ?Everyone! I?d like you to meet the King of Lirese and his two other friends!? Suddenly, everyone held out a glass and said toward the three, ?Greetings, King if Lirese and friends!? The three of them barely had a chance to reply for they were rushed to their own seats by many people. Orono found a glass in his hand almost as quick as the large gate guard could drink it. There was so much food and delights served up on the table and it was all for them. They could eat as much as they wanted. Peers, of course, dug in. The King gently started feasting. Orono stared down at his food. It looked clean, but could he trust strangers. He looked up at a drooling man with a wicked grin on his ugly mop. Orono peered back down at the chicken leg on his plate. It looked appetizing and the King and Peers seemed not affected so he picked it up and took a bite. It was great! He feasted on more and more and began enjoying himself. Peers put down his chicken and edged near Orono. ?Are you sure we should be having this good of a time when Marak is out there?? Orono swallowed and swung his pork at the small Peers. ?We have nothing we can do for Marak if we are famished and tired. Let us rest here and then we can begin our search for Marak tomorrow.? ?Time for the celebration cordial!? a crazed man shouted. Two doors swung open and men walked in carrying large barrels of what must be the celebration cordial. New glasses were passed around. Orono inspected his when he got it, just in case it was lined with poison. It wasn?t, as he assumed. These people were good people. He must learn that. But yet, he still felt uneasy. ?Let?s pour!? the same man shouted and so people got their glasses filled. Orono looked at the saucy liquid, purple and delicious-looking. He took a swig of it and winced. It was strong, but the flavor was unbearable. He had to have more. Same went for the King and Peers. They had several glasses until they lost count. The party was raging and the entertainment was great. The three of them were up there dancing like the rest of fanatical bunch. They don?t even remember going to sleep.

Well, I was walking down my street one day when suddenly the clouds in the sky opened and God looked down and said, "Where's my lunch?" He obviously was talking to the lunch lady next to me, but then he turned his face towards me and said, "Gavin, dangit! Go home and go to Otakuboards and enter that contest thingy majig or whatnot!" "I'd rather not right now," I told him and he shrugged and left with his lunch. Years later, I returned to Otakuboards and entered the contest (don't ask about the time). So here I am entering. I guess I should say a bit about myself for that is what everyone else is doing. My name is Tom Hanks and I star in a motion picture called "Forest Gump." Wait... that's not right.... oh yes! I am Gavin Brown and I was born May 31st, 1987. I'm a happy 15 year old sexy beast that lives in Michigan, USA and what I do all day is writing. In fact, at this moment, I'm writing a chapter book called "Ruingarth" which is posted here on OB. I write often and always try to finish what I start. if it's a long story (like hundreds of pages), I normally don't get done, but I'm known for my short comedy stories and such. Some would be "The Kobra and Lamb Show" and "Goatman" if you are familiar. Though I don't want to be a writer when I grow up, I find it's my main hobby over anything. I have plenty of ideas that I get every second of the day. It can be a bad thing to get story ideas all the time, though for you want to start another without finishing what you started. I know I haven't really shown any of my recent work yet, but it's all in the making. Not only stories do I write, but also scripts. I write movie scripts and skit scripts all the time. I even wrote some for my drama class. I also write plots to video games which people use. I'm always commented on my work and people seem to like them. They come to me for story ideas and that can make a guy feel good right here *points to toe* and here *points to heart*. I don't really have a reason for entering the contest except for the fact that I love writing and this is a good chance to express it all. I can write any form of writing (that I actually know what it is) so I wanna test myself to my limits. Plus, it wouldn't be too bad to be known as DA BOMB WRITER OF OTAKU and whatnot. I'd just like to finish this with the word "Cheesewizzle."

Well, I have told some people about this, but barely no one. If I have, it was not much information, I must say. This is the longest chapter book I've written so far. At this time that I am posting this, I have completed 9 chapters within 40 pages. I have a good feeling I may finish this one. For now, I shall post 1 chapter per post. Since I have 9 already, i am heavily backed up and ready to post another at any time. If you want to really know what this is about, here's a short summary: Orono the warrior finds himself in the world of Ruingarth after getting lost in a powerful mist and seeking shelter in an old ruin castle. He doesn't remember how he got to Ruingarth, but he is immediately sent on a quest by the King to save it. He has no choice for the same man that threatens Ruingarth has captured his only friends. To complete his mission, he must first do a few other quests such as get Lokken the Sword of Ancient Ruingarth that is locked within the Temple of Lokken guarded by the Warrior of Tribe. He also has to become fluent in the art of magic by training under the sorcerer Kadar. With a wide cast of characters with different and odd personalities, I believe this may be my best yet. There's plenty more in store for Orono so if you want to learn about his misadventures in Ruingarth, read on! [B]Prologue[/B] Our tale begins in a far away land where kings lived in castles and the sun set on the horizon of medieval warfare. There were many kingdoms, but two in particular were under fierce combat over land. They were Lirese and Paragala. These two kingdoms wanted the land so much that they tore up their own in the process of getting it. But it must be stopped. The King of Lirese, his most trusted knight Orono, and their two warrior friends Marak and Peers set off on horseback to Paragala?s kingdom in hopes to sign a peace treaty and share the land. They had a successful ride and an even more successful agreement. And so, the treaty was signed. The King and his three companions celebrated at the Paragala Kingdom that night, but left early in the morning. They rode with some new provisions and a new companion by their side. Little did they know, they?d never make it back to Lirese Castle. [B]Chapter I[/B] You could hear the rapid hooves of their horses on the hard, dirt-covered roads that colored their way back home to Lirese. The king was a head of the rest of the group closely followed by Orono and sure enough, Marak and Peers after. It was a peaceful trail and shadowed by the canopy above made from the treetops. Orono had no choice, but to admire the healthy leaves of the trees for it was beautiful and pleasing. The King?s horse sped up now and then and it forced Orono, Marak, and Peers? horses to keep up. It usually broke Orono from his spell of looking out into the beauties of nature. ?How much farther, Sire?? Orono found himself asking. ?We should be in Lirese very soon.? The King rose a hand up and pointed to the distance. ?See that mountain over there? Behind that is Lirese so it?ll be a few days still if we keep such a pace as this.? ?I hope we keep our previsions in good stock then.? Marak worried. ?It seems like we?re running low.? ?Then we can?t snack on anything anymore.? The King announced. ?We shall only eat during meals.? Peers looked at the biscuit he was choking down and tossed it back in the sack on his horse?s side like nothing had happened. ?Agreed.? Orono said. ?Agreed.? They all repeated. But that didn?t last long. They found themselves hungry and weary after the hours of riding through burning suns and harsh terrain. They were tempted to reach into their sacks and pull out something good to eat, but they didn?t give in. Of course, when dinner time came around and they set up camp for the night, they jumped the food and feasted viciously. After they were done, they went straight to sleep so they?d be ready for what the next day brings. It wasn?t a good rest since it got cold fast and a wind picked up, but somehow they managed. By morning, they were hungry again and ate plenty of food from their vittles sacks. Even the King didn?t watch his intake. It could lead to trouble later on. They rode on and on down the dusty trails and went straight through into another dark forest. At least they were shaded from the heat and burning sun. But the sounds that came from within this forest were unpleasant ones and sent chills down Marak and Peers? spines. Orono readied his hand on his sword?s hilt by his side just in case something flew out at them at a moment?s notice. The King, still leading the pack, kept a watchful eye on their surroundings and grew rather cautious as they went further into the deep, mangy forest. The shade from the sun grew to be a problem. They couldn?t tell the time of day and therefore, they didn?t know when they could camp or not. They didn?t dare eat anymore, but their hungry stomachs told them different. Orono couldn?t take anymore of it and reached into his vittles sack. The only thing he pulled out was an apple and a bottle with a trickle of cordial left. He had eaten all of his food. Marak and Peers did the same, but they both had even less than Orono. They all turned to the King who held his sack. The King frowned and sadly turned his pack upside down to show nothing was left of what he had. All hope was beginning to slip away like water through their fingers. But they still edged on in hopes they would get back to Lirese alive. By what seemed like nightfall, an opaque mist spilled into the forest and blocked the four warriors? vision. They rode near one another so they wouldn?t lose anyone, but when the King?s horse stopped at a tree that had fallen in the path, they noticed there was no sign of Marak. ?Marak?s gone?!? Peers exclaimed. ?But he was just next to me.? ?The mist is getting worse. I can hardly see my hand in front of my face.? Orono said, holding up his arm. ?Keep calm,? the King soothed, but they all knew it was no time to be calm. They had no provisions, they lost one friend already, Lirese is still days away from where they were, they were lost most likely along with all hope. They all sighed. ?Let?s keep riding.? The King looked up to see who said it. It was Orono, but he couldn?t see him. ?Why?? ?There?s got to be some place around here we could stay or keep safe until we find our way back.? ?But what about Marak?? Peers whimpered. ?It?s no use searching for him in this. We?ll get lost just the same. If we find some kind of civilization, we can search for him after we get provisions and such.? ?Why not,? the King agreed. ?It?s not like we have any other choice.? ?Then let?s go.? Orono reached out a hand through the mist. He was satisfied to feel the King?s hand and Peers? quivering hand placed on it. Once they knew where one another were, they began to ride again. Orono was wise to think of this for as they rode, the mist cleared a bit giving way to the shadows and shapes of the forest. They were coming more out of the forest. Peers looked up and saw a shape of a bird flying through the air. ?Look!? He pointed up. The King and Orono stopped their horses and squinted at what Peers was so happy about. ?A bird?? Orono questioned. ?Yes. But not just any bird.? ?A seagull!? The King finished for Peers. ?That could only mean we?re near some kind of sea.? Orono lit up. ?I knew we?d make it.? They began to ride faster and the farther they got, the less mist there was. They could soon smell the salty water of the ocean. The suspense was killing them. They just had to make it to the sea. Orono looked off into the east and saw a light out of the mist. He squinted at the light, but it?s clear image didn?t come in. ?A lighthouse?? He asked out loud, more to himself than the others. The King slowed to a stop and looked at the light. ?Maybe.? ?I bet it is.? Peers hopped up and down. The mist was still too thick to see for sure. ?Let?s go find out.? Orono started off again, taking the lead instead of the King. The two others followed behind as the raged Orono rode closer and closer to their destination. The mist began to clear even more until he saw what was suppose to be their lighthouse. He gasped and halted to a stop. The King and Peers did the same. ?What is it, Orono?? Peers asked. He then looked up and gasped as well. It wasn?t a lighthouse. On the cliff in the distance that was on the border of the sea was none other than a massive castle.

Yeah, yeah. I'll write more. Just give me time, mate ^^ Right now I'm making a movie called [b]Wicked Element[/b] so it's taking time.

I just got it so I haven't beaten it. I'm at the first dungeon now (that fortress thingy with pirates). Nevertheless, bad a$z game!

Haha. Thanks you guys. I didn't think anyone was gonna post in this thread. I posted it many, many days ago. My my. Yes. I have read the HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the 4 others to the wrongfully-named trilogy.

Another one of them danged Gavin elaborate comedy stories. What's up with this Gavin guy and his stories? I dunno, but he's awesome and that's a fact. Anyways, I wanted to write something completely odd and I guess I succeeded. I just started writing and continued with no plot in my mind. This is the result: A dang good story ^^ [SIZE=4][b][u]Why Tooth Decay is not Possible on Mars[/u][/b][/SIZE] I found out why it wasn't possible about 5 years ago. It all started when I was traveling down a river with some of my old pals. I believe their names were Stinky Joe and Bumper Sticker Bob. Anyways, we were traveling down that river when all of a sudden, I got a hankerin' for some fine T-Bone Steaks. "Park this boat, Stinky Joe." I said. "I have a hankerin' for some T-Bone Steaks." As loyal as Stinky was, he knew his position. "Shut up, Bud. You're not the boss of me." "Like Hell, I am!" I shouted back. Stinky needed to learn his place. "We're not stoppin' 'til I get a hankerin' for mashed potatoes." Joe fought back. "That's it!" I was about to take out my almighty Thwacking Stick of Doom when suddenly, we hit a current and went quickly down the river so fast that it knocked me on my butt. I couldn't feel it for a sec. I swear, I couldn't! I found myself clinging for dear life. Rain suddenly began pouring and I had to shield my eyes before they burned them out with their nasty drops. "Take down the sails, Bob!" Bob did what I said. He was smarter than Joe, obviously. Messing with me was a death wish or somethin'. So, as he was told, Bob took down the sails. As stubborn as he was, Stinky Joe was just sittin' there, chewin' what seemed to be a piece of beef jerky. I approuched him angrily even with that strong wind pushing on me. "And where on God's Green Goodness did you get that beef jerky, son?" Joe looked at me and spit off the side. Unfortunately, the wind blew the spit and WHAM! Right in my eye! I nearly took a tumble off. I was blind. "Man down! MAN DOWN!" I shouted. I heard Bumper Sticker Bob and then felt him bringing me to the center of the craft. That was the end of my right eye. I had lost it forever. Once you get beef jerky juice in it, there's no tellin' what will happen. But I could tell. I was going blind. "You're lucky I'm blind now, Joe!" I could hear Joe snicker, but I was paying more attention to the storm. I felt myself being tossed around, the wind ripping through my hair. It was the end, boys and girls. It was the end. Then, all of a sudden, we hit somethin'. This made me fly through the air. The next thing I knew, I was on wet grass. I felt myself to check if I was all in one piece. My pants were a bit soaked. "I hope this is rain." "You okay, Bud?" I heard Bob ask. I got up and opened the eye I could see out of. "Yeah, Bumper Sticker Bob. I'm fine. But where's Stinky Joe? I've got a bone to pick with him." Joe approuched me and acted as if nothing happened. "What a wild trip." "Yeah!" I snapped. "Wild, my appletree! I was nearly killed and all you did was eat beef jerky that you probably stole. And what else? You blinded me, son! BLINDED ME!" "It was an accident." He shrugged and walked off. A little kid approuched the shipwreck. I had to turn down my cussing for the little tike. "I'll see you in hell!" I shouted at Joe. After that, I turned to Bob and nodded. "Let's go." "You're just gonna leave Joe?" "Stinky Joe can obviously take care of himself." I chuckled at that. I knew he wouldn't survive. In fact, I'd probably turn around right now and see him crawling back to be with us. Now, folks. You better cut out your eyes because this is somethin' unimaginable. I turned to already see Joe owning a large mall. What the hell! I stormed off with Bumper Sticker Bob following behind. "Dad! Mom!" The little kid shouted behind us. "Why are there people walking around our farm?" I found Bob and myself a secret headquarters for the time being. It wasn't much, but it'd do. And what was best about it was it was chock-full of chicks. "Cluck-cluck!" I know, I know. You were thinkin' I meant women. But I wasn't. Our headquarters was a hen house. But it'd do. Plus, free eggs. What can I say? So as I was sayin', we were in a hen house, plotting what to do next. "What do we do next, Bud?" "Dear, dear, Bumper Sticker Bob. In all your innocense, you're still pretty stupid." "I don't think you even know." "Don't talk back, son! This is a time of thinkin', not talkin' back to your superiors!" "Sorry, Bud!" "That's better." I poked my head out of the hen house door. There she was. The Stinky-Mart, home of Stinky Joe and his Stinky prices. "Alright, Bob. This is it. We've gotta get Joe back." "I thought you hated Stinky Joe, Bud." I pulled my head back through and sat on a hen. Have you ever sat on a hen? It's a very unpleasant experience. "Now, Bob. There you go talking back again! I don't wanna hear another word out of you unless I ask, ya hear?" "Yes, sir!" "Hey!" "But you asked-" "Never you mind what I asked. Here's the plan... we'll do a surprise attack on Stinky-Mart and then retrieve Joe. Surprise attacks are always the most effective." "Cool." "Hey!" "Sorry." "Let's move." God must've hated me that day. I swear, he must've looked down and said, "Gavin, I hate you!" because by George, I stepped on an egg. And who should be walkin' by the hen house at that time? The rooster. I won't even get into how I kicked his butt, but I sure kicked his butt. After I tended to my wounds from the rooster fight, I stared back at Bob who approuched me with more bandages. "Well, Bob, thanks to my victorious fight with the rooster-" "But you lost." "That doesn't matter. Because of that little outbreak, we lost the element of surprise." "Doodies." "Yes. Doodies. Now then, there's one last thing we can do; walk in as a customer." "NO!" "Yes." "NO!!" "Yes." "NO-" "Yes, yes, YES!!!" I was about to lose my temper. I had to calm down. "Now then, son, if we wanna be customers, we've gotta dress like customers." "But we are dressed like customers." "No, no. Customers in a mall have their own 'look', ya see. And this 'look' is what we need. I have just the thing too." It was a few hours later when we returned from a mall in California. I was dressed in a nice suit with a mustache and top hat. Bob... well... I'm embarrassed of him. He chose his outfit. If I could discribe him without barfing, it'd be like this: red lipstick, a green blouse with clown shoes, his chest stuffed with 20 pillows and some frilly pink underwear. Could make a guy have nightmares for the rest of his life! But enough about Bob's crossdressing issues. We were on a mission! I told Bumper Sticker Bob to stay calm and follow my lead. We were approuching a dangerous territory. We had to be cautious. Like any other customer walking into a mall, we walked suspiciously and walked right into the doors thinking they were automatic. "Dagnabbit, Bob! Why did you make me walk into these doors?" "But you're in the lead." "How many times do I have to tell you that just because I'm leading doesn't mean I'm not testing you?" "Ooohhh... I get ya, Bud." "Be aware of that." I turned around and smacked into the door again. We entered finally after I tended my broken nose. It was hard to see where Joe was with my one eye. That sly devil was plotting the whole shabang! But he wasn't that sneaky. I saw him right off the bat and charged fiercly toward my prey. "Wait! Bud!" Bumper Sticker Bob called behind me. "No time, Bob! I have him!" "But Bud! That's not Joe! That's-" Like I said. God hated me for some reason. Maybe it was fate. I hate fate then. Bob ended up dragging me out of a stack of cans piled in the shape of Joe himself. "Bob..." I said after I spit out some green beans. "Why didn't you warn me? I'm blind in one eye, ya know!" "I tried, Bud." "Don't try, son! Succeed." I got back up and dusted myself off. This mall was big so it'd take some time. "Let's try to find Joe, now." "But we shouldn't try. We should succeed." Bob corrected. "Son, how many times do I have to tell you not to talk back?" "But Joe's right there!" Bob pointed to a man that approuched us. "How may I help you two?" He asked. That was Joe's voice alright. Minus the hillbilly, of course. "Now I've got you, Joe!" I said grinning. "What are you talking about?" I heard Joe say. He looked at me strangely. He obviously couldn't see past my disguise. "This is your downfall, Stinky Joe!" I charged once again and crashed into the same stack of cans. How is that possible in the same day? Bob helped me back up. "He's become quicker than me. He must of got out of the way when I charged. That or he's chicken." "Actually," Bob began, "He wasn't talking to you. He was talking to some people next to you." I fixed my top hat. "You're a real help, Bob." "Thanks." He grinned happily. I sighed. They must've stacked those cans back into that shape just to trick me. But it wasn't going to work this time. Joe came up to me. This time, it was for real. "Are you okay? You took quite the tumble." He asked me. "Yeah. I'm okay." "Good. It's too nice of a day to get in an accident." "Yeah. A nice day for revenge!" "Are you sure you're okay?" "Better than okay." Boy, he didn't know what was comin'. Well, actually, he did. In fact, right when I took off the top hat and mustache, he was ready for combat. "Wait! Let's not fight here!" he stopped me before I attacked. "And why not?" "Because there are adults watching. I'll meet you in the toy section where there are hundreds of kids. Be there or be circle." "Fine!" And so we were off. I met him there, alright. I had Bob as my cheerleading squad. I could've got hotter cheerleaders, but this was a moment of crisis. Joe stepped onto the battle field. On his side of the toy shelf, there were GI Joe toys. He loaded himself up. On my side, well... let's just say I wasn't as fortunate. "My-Size Barbie stuff?" I exclaimed. I guess it'd have to do. I loaded myself up with the best Barbie utilities. We were ready to duke it out. And boys and girls, I was going to whoop some butt. But I didn't. That's right. I lost! For once in my career, besides against the rooster, I lost. So lock your doors, shut your windows, put your kids to bed because what I'm about to say next is gonna be gruesome! [SIZE=3]The Gruesome Part[/SIZE] Yeah, I lost BIG time. He had me cornered right from the start. He had already set up little army men behind me. They were so tough-looking that I didn't dare try them. I had nothin' to do, but step forward. I charged; he charged. I ended up getting tossed into the air... I'd say 30 feet or so. That's pretty high. And I'm scared of heights. Anyways, I was falling. It looked like the end for me. But fate would have it, the My-Size Barbie Dress acted as a parachute and I safely floated down. Then Joe shot me out of the air with a GI Joe Cannon. So, yeah. I lost badly. I was on the ground; my chest penetrated by a plastic ball that didn't even break the skin. This was it. I was a goner. Then, suddenly, a man walked in and said "Joe, we're closing this place down." Then he walked out. Stinky Joe didn't look too happy, but I sure as hell was. In fact, I was up on my feet and in perfect health again. Don't ask how. Maybe it was Bumper Sticker Bob and his magical fairy dust. Who knows. But I was healed. I came up to Joe and put a hand on his shoulder. "Well, Stinky Joe, looks like the end of Stinky-Mart. How 'bout comin' back to us, huh?" Joe looked up at me and smiled. "Sure." "Good to hear it. Now let's go." So the three of us started our way out of the Stinky-Mart as it was being blasted, crushed, and burnt down to be replaced by a Mars Dentist Office. Because of that Dentist Office, it's impossible to get tooth decay there. It doesn't really make sense, but the government said it and I believe it. As for the three of us, we were back on our vessel and sailing the wild rivers of Wisconsin. "Mom! Dad! Why are there three men in a big puddle in our field?" [b]THE END[/b]

Indeed. It doesn't make much sense. He dies, but he still talks. So did the hobo, but whatever!

Well, I was bored one day and I was online so I thought I'd talk to my good friend, MasterDarkNinja. So I did what I always do in MSN chats and greet people with an odd thing and such. When I did it this time, it started a funny, little story between us where I was a thief and he was the police. It turned out to be pretty good. So I saved it. I then corrected all typos, spelling errors, and grammar and made it so people could read it as a script. I made it into this script that you're about to read called [B]Real the Thief[/B]. *shakes fist* Enjoy it!!! [SIZE=4][b]Real the Thief [/b][/SIZE] Real: Doop dee doop dee doop. Alan: Yeah? Real: Nothin'. Just Thieves Inc. comin' through. (steals TV) I'll be back! (runs off) Alan: Okay. (reports Real for stealing a TV to the police with a cellphone) Real: (police hunt him down.) Look, I'm apart of Thieves Inc. See my license for stealing? (holds up license) Police1: Oh, in that case! Police2: Who wants doughnuts? Police: ME ME! Police1: You're buying! Real: Uh uh. No need, men. I'll steal them. Police Chief: Now wait just a minute! There's no such licence! Real: (kills chief) Police Chief: AHHH!!! Doughnut Guy: (walks in) Get your doughnuts! Police: DOUGHNUTS! (tramples chief) Police1: Hey, do you have a licence to kill? Real: Yes. (holds up license) Police2: Oh, in that case it's alright. Real: It comes with the stealing license if you've been a thief for 2 years or more. Police1: That's cool. Real: Yeah. (kills police1) Police1: Hey, wait a second... Real: Sorry. It slipped. Police1: Did you steal that killing licience with your thief licence? Real: Umm... no. (shifts eyes) Police2: You're lying! Real: I have no choice since I have this "Lying License". Police1: Oh, that's okay in that case. Real: I'm allowed to lie on such occasions as stealing a killing license with my stealing license. Police2: Neat. Real: I'm cool and that's not a lie. (screen flashes LIE) Police1: Umm... I think that we have to arrest you just in case. Real: But why Mr. Officer guy dude sir thingie majiggy? Police1: You're acting like you did something without a licence! Real: But my mother died giving birth to me, my father was killed off by the mafia, my brothers and sisters, all 560 of them, died of cancer, and my puppy was run over... then I ate a bug Police2: What does that have to do with anything? Real: I dunno, but that's what my "Sad Past" license is good for. Maybe next time I'll throw in I'm an alien Police1: You're under arrest for having too many licences! Real: But that guy over there has 50,000 licenses! Man with 50,000 licenses: I have a license to have that many! Real: Crap... Police1: So what? He gave us coke from that polar bear! Police2: Yeah! That polar bear with the coke has some great coke! Man with 50,000 licenses: Yeah! Everyone: Shut up! Man with 50,000 licenses: Yipes! Real: So what? I have pepsi. Hobo: (pops out of a trash can) And I have a can of Creme Soda. Everyone: (kills hobo for the creme soda) Real: Ya know, there's a moral to this story... (sips some soda) Police2: Yeah? What's that? Real: War never solves things so don't do drugs. Police1: Words of the wise. Dead Hobo: My soda... [b]THE END[/b] This is word for word of what we said. Just goes to show that even a pineapple can make a mean tuna casserol.

Yeha. That's what I said. Kind of odd in a sense. I didn't want to post it in the other topic because I'm smarter than that. Usually people don't return to the same topic expecting another pic so why post a pic there that no one will see?

Here's the second pic of Ru that I drew. I'm not sure if you saw the last here, but this one isn't as good in my opinion. But it still gives you a better view of his face. His chin seems out of place which is odd, but what the hey...

Well, just throw on the pointed ears. He's more of a samurai in my game, but we can call him one in Legacy of Asheron anyways ^^ Thanx, Silentdeath. I appreciate the compliment.

Ooo! You devil you! Today is finally the 26th! It comes out here now. Can't wait... But I probably won't be able toplay 'til Friday since I'm hardly gonna be home at all today and tomorrow :(

Sweet deal. I hope I can grab a copy. As popular as it is, I don't think the stores will go out of stock on the first day. At least not at the time my dad's picking it up. But if it is out, THAT'S CRAZY!

I know. Either way, you'll watch my movies, read my books, or listen to my cool music. Oh yeah ^^

Hmm... that's crap. It can't be the same with Meijers. My dad checked just in case today. Hmmms again.

Muha! But I have my sources, Ms. Deeds, that I do. Ya see, I'll be gone the whole day myself (track meet in CMU). Therefore, I have my dad get it at the store since he works in a big city called Greenville. Yays!

Oh yeah! That'd be nice to have. But it'd be worth more if you had the original. Besides, I'm not gonna be an artist when I grow up. I'm either gonna be an actor, writer, or lead singer in a rock band like Linkin Park ^^

Nah. I think it's just us, Kizu. Because Best Buy was the same (checked the preorder thingy got) and Meijers said the same as well. Hm. Well, tomorrow, it's just you, me, and the Wind Waker ^^

Heh. Thanx, Rhys. THis is how I pictured Finn in Legacy of Asheron to look as well ^^ Just in case you were curious.

Yeah. The sword is a bit battle worn. That's all. I decided to make it that way when I messed up a bit ^^ Deal with your mistakes, right? Hehe.