Dragon Warrior

Good. That's the effect I wanted. I wanted it to be serious at the beginning to throw off the reader then BAM! Put in some comedy to spice it up. Don't worry. That'll probably be the only time I'll do that. An episode of the Hollow Saga each week and Goatman episodes randomly popping up. It's like a party!

Here it is. Disasterpiece's newest production. The Hollow Saga. First, I'll let you in on some profiles of the characters. Then, it's time for Episode 1. [B]Derk:[/B] Type: Warrior Weapon: Sword and Shield Clothing: Armor Description: The leader of the 4 warriors in this world. He is the bravest, but still not the smartest of them all. He's pretty dang good with his sword, though. And many cower in fear before him. Even some of his friends. [B]Ford:[/B] Type: Archer Weapon: Bow and Arrow (Fists if no arrows) Clothing: Green Tunic with hood Description: Most likely the smartest of the 4. He keeps all the important information in his pouch if on paper and if not, in his head. He's deadly with a bow and just one arrow he fires call kill 10 men if he really tried. [B]Rune:[/B] Type: Red Mage Weapon: Magic Clothing: Red Cloak Description: The legendary red mage of greatness goes by the name of Rune. His flowing black hair and charming looks are not his only power. He can summon incredible magic when needed. [B]Jett:[/B] Type: Uncrafty Thief Weapon: Flimsy Daggers (in other words, they're crap) Clothing: Black Ninja Suit Description: The most unfortunate and unskilled one of the group. He wasn't chosen for the job of being a journeyman in search for the White Seer, but somehow, he ended up becoming one. [B]Some evil-looking guy:[/B] Type: Black Mage Weapon: Black Magic Clothing: Blue cloak with hood Description: The leader of the dark side. He may have evil plans, but he's not really with it. In other words, he has no idea what's going on in the world. That can happen to you when all you do is plot devious schemes in your room all day. [SIZE=4]The Hollow Saga[/SIZE] [SIZE=3]Episode 1:[/SIZE] "Search for the White Seer" [B] 930 A.D. Forlock Kingdom[/B] A castle fell in the distance of an old land known as Forlock. A war raged between 2 known lands. One was ruled by the prosperous king called King Sire. The other was the dark lord Verman. They were angry with one another for so many years and now it?s come down to this. A battle. At the time, Verman?s men were winning. They slashed every living soldier around on Sire?s side. Things were looking grim for Forlock. But King Sire, being not only a great leader, he was a great master and had taught 3 magnificent warriors to do his bidding in battle. They were his last chance. The 3 warriors busted down the door and emerged with greatness. The first stood up with his green tunic and his hood blocking the rain from his eyes. He brought out his bow and took 5 arrows from his pack on his back. He aimed, fired, and took out 2 Verman warriors with one arrow each. He took down his hood and let the water sprinkle his hair. This was the best archer in the land: Ford. The second stood on the opposite side of Ford and his red cloak flowed with the wind as he moved his arms in a mystical way. He mumbled a few words and fired off flames from his palms of his hands at the charging enemy, burning and killing some. He was a powerful red mage known as Rune. Then there was the last of the 3. The most bravest, strongest, and cunning of them. He unsheathed his sword, took out his shield and charged the angry crowd, slicing all he could. He did a fine job. This great warrior went by the name of Derk. All 3 warriors did their special skills and equally took out an amount of soldiers. Soon, Verman?s army was dead. Verman stood before his dead army and cowered. He looked up only to greet the stern face of Derk. He gulped and back away slowly. He bumped right into Ford. Looking left, all he saw was the redness in Rune?s eyes. Verman leapt high and landed safely away from the angry trio. Verman held up a clawed hand and waved a pill-like substance. ?Stupid Forlock warriors. You?ll never defeat Verman! NEVER!? He tossed down the pill and smoke shot up everywhere. The smoke passed revealing a giant terrible dragon that was at least 100 feet in height. Derk growled like a dog at the sight. ?Come on, you guys.? he said to Ford and Rune. ?Let?s do this.? He leapt high into the air and chopped off the drake?s head. Candy spouted from it?s decapitated stump and little kids ran up and ate some. ?A pinata.? Ford said, eating a tootsie roll. ?I prefer Starburst.? Rune said proudly. Then, in a kid-like manner, he asked, ?Are there any in there?? ?Stop it!? yelled a angered Verman. The 3 warriors looked up and the kids scrammed. ?I didn?t mean to summon a pinata, okay? This is what I meant.? He threw down another pill and a creature popped up that looked just like the piñata except it was made of paper machete and didn?t store delicious treats for kids to feast on. In other words, it wasn?t a piñata. ?Awww?? moaned the kids. ?Now suffer!? shouted Verman at the heroes and he urged the dragon towards them. Derk nodded to Ford who nodded to Rune. Derk jumped at the creature again and slashed at it, but was knocked to the floor without effort. Ford fired 5 arrows that impaled the creature?s torso, but were easily shakin? out. The dragon then smacked Ford aside. Only Rune remained. He conjured up and spell and fire spouted from his hands once again. It hardly effected the dragon. It shot flames back and burnt Rune to a crisp. ?A fire dragon. Should have known.? Rune barely choked. Verman laughed continuously. He was obviously enjoying it. Rune started to think and it finally came to him. He got up and prepared himself. ?Derk, distract the dragon while I prepare a spell.? Derk didn?t argue and stood in front of Rune waving his sword and shouting, ?Blow fire at me!? The dragon looked curiously at the warrior. [I]This guy's stupid,[/I] thought the dragon. [I]But he asked for it.[/I] The dragon opened his mouth and flames bursted out at Derk. Derk quickly moved and Rune shot ice freezing the dragon from fie to his tail. That?s when Ford took out the dragons arms and legs with his arrows. Derk chopped off it?s head and Rune finished it by blasting the remaining bits with a fire spell. They had won. Verman began sneaking away, but Derk noticed and went after him. Verman started to run. ?Leave me alone you big bull-AHHHHH!!!? He happened to fall in a pit. the 3 warriors looked down the pit. Ford scratched his stubs on his chin. ?My my. He fell into the bottomless pit that?s 57 feet deep.? ?No one can survive that.? Rune said, turning away. Derk nodded then turned towards the castle and went wide-eyed. ?Look at Forlock Kingdom! All gone!? It was true. The place was burning down to the size of a doll house. Everyone must have been killed except them. Derk collapsed in tears. Ford patted his back with comfort. ?There, there, big fella. I?m sure they?re all in a better place.? Derk whimpered through sobs. ?I? failed? King Sire.? He began crying again. ford and Rune helped Derk up and they began for the village that was luckily not attacked. They were about to get there when they heard a faint cry for help. They rushed toward the noise. It was King Sire. ?King Sire!? Derk yelled, rushing over to him. King Sire happened to be trapped under a pile of rumble and wouldn?t make it, though. ?Get up, sire.? ?Derk, I?m not going to make it? but you can do something to help us.? ?What, sire? What is it?? ?Fine the White Seer. He?ll grant you the wish of bringing Forlock kingdom and it?s people back. He serves well, he does.? Ford jumped in the air, happily. ?He grants wishes? I need a heart.? Rune nodded. ?I need a brain.? Derk shivered. ?And I need to become brave.? Suddenly a little dog popped up and barked for no reason whatsoever. The 3 warriors turned back to their king and he continued. ?The White Seer is far from here and the journey is very dangerous, but I?m counting on you all to come through. Everyone is.? Derk knelt down. ?But, sire, how do we find him?? The king managed to grab a map from his pocket and handed it to Derk. Ford took it and looked at it. The King continued. ?That map will help. Trust me. Just follow the yellow-brick road.? The 3 warriors started to laugh. The King looked at them strangely. ?What? What is it?? Derk tried to hold back his laughter. ?Oh nothing, Dorothy! Hahahaha!? Rune and Ford joined in. The king scratched his head. he became rather annoyed and lifted up the rumble pile, walked over, smacked some sense into the 3 of them, got back under the rumble pile and cleared his throat. ?Yeesh. I?m not copying the Wizard of Oz, okay? Even if there?s a Wicked Witch of the West, but I tell you one thing. She doesn?t ride a regular bike. It?s a Harley motorcycle, and another thing. She rides around in a hurricane. Not a tornado. So there.? The 3 warriors nodded. The King continued. ?Just follow the map and you?ll be there. don?t be stupid and not follow the map. You guys have a tendency to do that.? Derk put a hand to his forehead. ?You can count on us, sir!? The King put a hand to his forehead and the warriors left. The king?s hand turned into a hand wiping the sweat from his face. ?Why did I put my life and my kingdom?s future in their hands?? That was the last thing King Sire ever said. Soon, the 3 brave warriors find themselves in the town of Rookie. Derk had the urge to go buy some cookies, but they stopped when seeing a shadowy figure passing around the barrels. The shadowy figure seemed to be on a mission. With just a nod from Derk, the 3 heroes follow this suspicious character. The shadowy figure led them straight into a heavily-guarded base. How did they get through the heavily-guarding guards? Well, it?s a long story so sit back and I?ll- [We interrupt your sad, pitiful lives for no reason. Maybe just to save an excuse for the heroes to get past the heavily-guarding guards] ? and that?s how. So, they find this figure sneaking up to a priceless pottery locked safely in glass. The figure was a thief! The thief took out a glass cutter and carefully stepped up to the glass. Then, putting the glass slicer aside so he wouldn?t cut himself, he smashed the glass with his fist and the alarm went off. He grabbed the pottery and ran, but ran right into Derk. The thief dropped the pottery in shock and it broke. ?Dang it. Now look what you made me do.? Derk stepped forward. ?What are you doing?? ?Slyly stealing pottery.? ?You didn?t steal it.? ?Well, I could?ve if you didn?t get in the way.? Derk shrugged. ?Never the less. What is your name?? ?I go by the name of Julia!? The 3 warriors started laughing outrageously. Julia sizzled. ?What? What?s so funny?? Ford could hardly keep his laughter down to be able to talk. ?Julia?s a girl?s name.? ?Next, he?ll be Mary.? Derk chuckled, slapping his knee in enjoyment. ?No. But that won?t be my name. I shall be known as SUZY!? The warriors laughed again. SUZY stomped her? er? HIS foot on the ground in anger. ?What do you suppose my name should be then?? Ford took out some paperwork from his pouch. ?Well, have a look at our names. Mine is Ford, his is Derk, and the red mage is Rune. We all have 4 letter names. You need a 4 letter name.? Jul-I mean? Su-No! The thief thought for a moment. ?Like???? He asked Ford eagerly. Ford pondered while the sirens stilll went off and soldiers ran amuck. ?I suppose something like? well, think of a name that means something like you.? ?Umm? I wear black clothing.? ?I don?t think that?ll do much.? ?Jett is a name that means black.? ?Fine. Whatever. But your not changing your name anymore in this episode.? Derk thumped his fingers on a priceless crown. He turned, knocking it to the floor and breaking it. ?Can we go now?? He asked. ?Yeah. Go on.? Jett urged. ?Leave so I can steal some more stuff. I got business in the black markets ya know.? Jett started off, but was stopped by Rune who cast a spell to keep him still. Derk stood in front of him. ?Your not going anywhere, thief. Your coming with us.? ?Isn?t that going somewhere?? Jett asked, barely able to move his mouth. ?Umm? well? you see? SHUT UP! C?mon Ford and Rune. Let?s move.? And so, the 3 warriors recruited the thief Jett even if he didn?t want to go. This story?s getting nowhere, I must admit. [B]Meanwhile, in the dark evil-looking setting of our villain?[/B] The cloaked bad guy spies over his crystal ball, watching the heroes? every move. He laughed evilly. ?Hahaha! Soon, the heroes and that thief Mary shall parish! Muahahahaha! Or my name isn?t? isn?t? man, the writer is lousy. He didn?t bother naming me neither.? His henchmen shrugged and the evil-looking guy rubbed his chin which was shadowed in his hood. ?Umm? I know! You shall now all address me as DARTH VADER! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!? One soldier cleared his thoat and ?Darth Vader? turned towards him and shrugged. ?Umm? sir? Darth Vader was taken back in the 80?s by George Lucas who made a series called Star Wars.? ?Hm. Well crap. Now what shall I be known as? dumb writer. Leaving this up to me. I?m an evil villain. Not an? an? author. Well, have this George Lucas liquidated. I KNOW! You shall all call me for now on? HARRY POTTER! Muhahahahaha!? Lightning flashed as he laughed. But his insane laughing was interrupted by the same soldier. Harry Potter turned towards him. ?What now?? ?Umm? sir, Harry Potter is a series about a young wizard who goes to a school called Hogwarts and has many adventures. There?s 4 books in the series right now. They?re by an author known as J. K. Rowling.? ?For God sakes! Why don?t I know this? I freakin? get the Wall Street Journal and read it at night before bed with a cup of tea. I should know these things. Well, have this J. K. Rowling liquidated as well.? ?We can?t sir.? ?And why not?? ?Because there?s still about 3 more books left to be written for the series and having Rowling liquidated would crush the fans? hearts. I?m a fan as well, sir.? ?I see, Henchman #465. Well then, keep her alive ?til she finishes, but threaten her to make her production faster.? ?Right sir.? ?I guess I?ll just use something noncreative right now and call myself Dark Sinister.? ?Very good sir.? ?Thank you. Now be gone. I want that Lucas liquidated by tonight.? The solider saluted and ran off. Dark Sinister turned back to his crystal ball and peered into it. He laughed evilly again. ?Soon, my pretties? GAH! Darn Wizard of Oz dialog? ahem? I?ll start again. Soon, warriors, you shall all die! HAHAHAHA! And then I shall-? And so the curtains close on Dark Sinister before he finishes what he was saying. And so, at the end of every episode, we shall have a special for you. IT?S LET?S TALK WITH MONKEY. Monkey sits in his chair and scratches his head. THAT WAS LET?S TALK WITH MONKEY! SEE YA NEXT TIME!

That's right. Here's a dude story that I've had for quite some time, but forgot to post it here for you good people to see. Well, here's the rather short and bizarre tail of Dracula.. er... I mean... Dudeula. *Lightning flashes* [B]A short while ago...[/B] ?Dude, check it out.? Dude 1 said looking up at a huge building. ?Dude, is that a castle?? Dude 2 asked. ?Dude, it?s not JUST a castle, but it?s the most famous castle in the world! And in it, lives a very famous being.? ?Really? Who?? ?The one and only? Pacha the Pizza man. Pacha?s Castle is the best pizza place in town. You got to try it.? ?Okay. Let?s eat here then.? And so the two dudes sat down to enjoy a meal at the wealthiest pizza place in the world. And settled down with their slices and enjoyed a quiet chat. ?LOOK AT ME!!! I AM PIZZA MAN!? Dude 2 said sticking pizza slices on his face. ?Ha, ha. Your stupid.? Dude 1 pointed and laughed. ?So, what did you bring for the camping trip?? Dude 2 asked, finally sitting down. ?I brought the usual, but for some reason I had a feeling I needed this wooden stake. Oh, and this cross. And holy water. And a box of sunshine. And onions. And strangely, a wallet-sized picture of Jerry.? The two look at the picture. ?Is that a booger in his nose.? Dude 1 looked closer. ?Ha, ha! It is! Now we can tease him.? [B]Meanwhile, in a very evil-looking setting...[/B] ?Ha, ha. Yes, my stupids. You shall both die when u visit my castle! Hahahahahaha!!!!? [SIZE=4]Dudeula[/SIZE] ?Dude, no one makes pizza like Pacha does.? ?I agree, dude.? Dude 2 said wiping his mouth with someone else?s? napkin. ?Hmm? Dude, I have a weird feeling we got to visit that place over there.? Dude 2 points. ?What? That barber shop?? Dude 1 following Dude 2?s gaze. ?No. The castle next to it.? Dude 1 looks down the road and sees the huge castle. ?Oh! That castle. Well, why didn?t you say so.? And so the two cool dudes left to the castle in which was very large. Dude 1 knocked on the door politely, but rudely. A man that was very tall and dressed in black stood in the doorway. ?Hey. We need a place to chill. Can we use your crib?? ?Crib? I?m not a baby! And if you need to chill, go to Antarctica.? the man said, scratching his baldness.[I]Silence, you fool! They are obviously the two dudes you have been waitin for, the man thought to himself.[/I] [I]But they seem to be talking in another language.[/I] ?C?mon, dude. Be a homie.? [I]Should I take that as an insult? Hmm? they?re "terms" seem to confuse me. But nevertheless, I must let them in.[/I] ?You may enter mortals.? ?First, tell us your name.? Dude 1 insisted. ?My name is Cou-? ?Is this Batman?s cape, you thief?? Dude 2 said, tugging on the man?s clothing. ?Stop that! It?s my only suit. My name is Count Dracula.? ?Didn?t you use to teach numbers on Sesame Street?? Dude 1 asked. ?Stop this insanity and enter!? Dude 2 examined Dracula?s clothes again. ?You did steal them. I must give them back to him at the bat cave.? Dude 2 then ripped the clothes right off Count. ?Oh no! That was my only one. I must find something else to wear.? Dracula ran off in his underwear and returned in a pair of bunny pajamas. The two dudes started to laugh at him. ?That?s right. Laugh it up. You shall die tonight for I am A VAMPIRE!!!? [B]Bum, bum, bummmmm.[/B] ?Silly, Count dude. There?s no vampires in New York.? Dude 1 said grabbed hold of Dracula?s neck. ?This isn?t New York and don?t hang on me.? ?You should really go see a doctor or something ?cause your pale and your started to go mental on us with that vampire crap.? ?But I-? ?Ya know what. He does look a little white.? ?Shut up and enter!!!? [B]After entering...[/B] ?I shall now show you two your rooms.? Dude 2 questioned. ?Dude, if you?re a vampire, can you do that bat thing?? ?Yes.? ?Turn into a bat then. For us!? ?No.? ?C?mon.? ?No.? ?Yes.? ?No.? ?Yes.? ?Rock, paper, scissors for it. You win, I do it. I win, you shall die.? ?Deal.? After 4000 games of RPS, and Dude 2 winning every one of them, Dracula finally gave in. ?Alright. I?ll do the trick.? Dracula then turned into a bat and started to fly high into the air. ?Haha, suckers. You can?t do this!? [SIZE=3]SLAM![/SIZE] Dracula then fell to the ground and turned into his vampire form. He had little bats swirling around his head. ?Ow. Low ceiling.? [B]Later, after Dracula woke up from his coma, which was about 6 months, the two du- what?s that? You wanna know what happened in that coma. Dracula had an odd dream. Here it is...[/B] [Entering Dracula's Coma Dream] ?Ah? a hospital. And so many blood banks. I feel like the world is giving in. Finally!? Suddenly a car hit him and he awoke. [B]That?s about what happened. Anyways, back to the story?[/B] [B]Yes? that?s what happened. Anyways?[/B] [B]Yes were sure. Listen, it was a short dream. Don?t read too much into it, okay? Now, BACK TO THE STORY!!![/B] ?Here?s your room.? Dracula said opening the door to a creepy two-bedded bedroom. ?Enjoy.? The two dudes slipped into their beds and fell asleep. Dracula stood in the doorway surprised. ?You?d think they?d put up more of a fight to not fall asleep so I couldn?t kill them, but hey! God?s giving me a chance!? And so Dracula slid onto Dude 1?s bed and released his fangs when suddenly Dude 1 awoke. ?What the? Dude, are you gay? Your trying to get in bed with me!? ?What?s going on?? Dude 2 said, waking up. ?Dracula is gay!? ?Good god!? ?I am not!? Dracula pleaded. ?What happened?? said a werewolf that just so happened to pass by the window at the moment. Dude 1 explained what happened to over 1000 people, which were all disgusted. ?Dude! That?s gay!? They all said then turned toward Dracula. Dracula turned beat red and ushered the visitors out. Once that was done, he beckoned Dude 1 and Dude 2 to fall asleep again. Once they did, Dracula tried the same approach on Dude 2. Suddenly? [SIZE=3]RAM... RAAMM... RA-RA-RAAAAAMMMMMM!!!![/SIZE] Dracula turned to see leather face: The Texas Chainsaw Master in the window, starting up the chainsaw. ?Muahahaha? Ow! Son of a! Stupid chainsaw.? Leatherface turned out to be Jerry and Jerry tossed the chainsaw out the window. ?You can?t stop me from sucking these two dudes? blood.? Dracula insisted. ?Who said anything about me stopping you?? Jerry asked. ?Eh. Oh well. While I?m here.? Jerry began by doing a matrix jump-kick at Dracula sending him flying into the wall by a chicken pen. Dracula just so happened to put the chicken pen inside this room for the night. Dracula grabbed a chicken, cocked it?s neck like a gun and fired eggs through the air. Also like in the matrix, Jerry bent over and the the eggs flew past him slow motion. Once the chickens couldn?t fire anymore, Jerry tried to stand up straight. ?Dang it! I?m stuck this way. Hold on.? Jerry moved over to a chair and cracked his back upwards allowing him to stand again. ?Okay. Ready.? Before Jerry could make a move, an egg splattered on his face. ?That was an egg.? Dracula warned, then showed the rooster he was holding. ?Hiiiiiya!? Jerry said, leaping into the air, but Dracula ran out of the room before he could hit him. Jerry followed Dracula ?til they both were in one big stadium with a wrestling rink. They both jumped in. Jerry started out with a body slam and kicked ***. Dracula then clothes lined him. Jerry jumped through the air and did a karate kick sending Dracula down. ?Give him the chair!? said someone in the audience. Jerry grabbed a metal chair and slammed it down upon Dracula?s cranium. Dracula then jumped out of the rink and ran down a hall ?til he was in an alley-like place. Jerry trapped him there. ?I will never give in.? Dracula said then ran towards a metal gate. Grabbing a cane and holding down his bunny ears, he tried to jump through the two gates like they did on Charlie?s Angels? but he got stuck. ?Ow. That hurts like nothing? else. Darn it!? He pushed through and ran over to a fountain. Jerry then jumped over the gate, landed face first, but got up just in time to join 2 chicks in leather clothing. ?It?s time for Jerry?s Angels!? Jerry and the two girls jumped at Dracula and started to fight him until the girls were killed and Jerry was left. ?Do you expect me to talk?? Dracula laughed. ?No Mr.. er.. what is your last name?? Jerry thought for a moment. ?I-I-I don?t know. I don?t think I have one.? ?Eh. Oh well. I expect you to die! hahaha!? Dracula pulled a lever that unleashed a trap door sending Jerry out of the area. Dracula put on a devious grin and ran off to the two dudes? room. There he was about to suck their blood when? ?You think you could get rid of me that easily?? Jerry said. ?How-how did you get back here before me and when you were sent through a trap door that beheld crocodiles and sharks and the occasional monkey feeses?? ?I don?t know. But what I do know is? YOUR WEAKNESS! Bwa ha! Behold, the mirror!? Jerry took off a rag off a mirror and and Dracula stared into it. ?That?s Medusa that?s weak against mirrors you idiot.? ?Oh? alright then.? Dracula then knocked the mirror through the wood covering the open window and unleashing light upon himself. ?No!!! I?m melting!? Dracula pleaded, ?This sucks! Nooo! Hey now? I?m getting a nice tan! But I?m also melting!! Noo? o.. oo?? Soon, Dracula was just a yellow puddle on the floor. Just at that time, Dude 1 and 2 woke up. They saw Jerry and leaped to his sides. ?Jerry! What are you doing here.? Dude 1 asked. ?Long story. It?s all like thi-? ?No time for that!? Dude 1 interrupted. ?Jerry!? Dude 2 said, eyes wide. ?You had an accident!? They all spotted the yellow puddle on the floor. ?Eewww?? They all said. And so, it turns out Jerry saved the day. And the 3 of them left the castle in the middle of New York City forever? Moral: Pacha?s Pizza Castle is THE BEST!!!

My games? You can't download them right now. They're not finished. But you can download an EXTREMELY crappy trailer for NightScape here: [url]http://www.nightscape1.cjb.net[/url] A demo of Mission Improbable will be soon. BTW: Yes. I'm definately sure The Hollow Saga premeirs tomorrow.

Alright. Jo Jones is out for now. I haven't really got the edge for it. In fact, I have a new edge for something else. New Series: The Hollow Saga The main characters would be Derk the warrior, Ford the archer, Rune the red mage, and Jett, an uncrafty thief. Their crazy journeys lead them to find the legendary White Seer locked far away from where their fallen kingdom lays. Of course, Jett doesn't really wnat to go on this adventure, but is forced to by the 3 other heroes. It's not like a thief to help the good guys. But expect this series to start tomorrow or the next day because it's practically ready. Don't worry. Goatman will continue, but at slower pace thanks to the Hollow Saga. The Hollow Saga also would be the reason for the delay of Goatman episodes. The best part is, the series includes a British Officer who likes to say "What's all this then?" so enjoy The Hollow Saga. Coming to an internet browser near you!

Real leapt at the giant beast, but was pummeled down to the dusty soil. Angrily, he tried satbbing the imp king, but failed as many times as he tried. It wasn't as easy as Real suspected. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] C'mon ya giant booger. I'll take you out. The imp laughed. [B]King Imp:[/B] Hahahahaha! Little man is funny. He'll also be dead in a moment. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Why don't you put your fists where your mouth is? Oh wait. My fists go there. Real jumped at the imp's face and slammed a knuckle into it's jaw. A slight cracking sound like a breaking bone was heard throughout the woods. The imp cried out in pain. He swung his newly born tail that grew with his transformation and tripped Real into a tree. Real rubbed his head and felt dazed. What a fight. He felt that he was a goner too. Then that tail came back. Real quickly made haste and picked up Ragnarok once again. Swinging the mighty sword, he chopped off the beast's tail and it flew to the side of the battlefield, flopping about like a chicken with no head. Real put a hand to his mouth. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Oops. Was that your tail? I'm sorry. The King imp was still crying out in pain at the fresh wound made by the slice of Real's falchion. He took leaves off some branches and covered the open wound that pitifully continued to bleed upon the soil. The imp monster looked up from his wound and glared at Real. [B]King Imp:[/B] You insensative fool! I was going to kill you quick so you felt no pain. Now you shall die slowly, the agony within winding around you like a snake coiling around it's prey. Feel my wrath, mortal! The imp lunged at Real, but Real was able to easily dodge. A few side steps and Real was able to dodge anything the imp lay out. The battle soon seemed to be Real's favor. He skipped about smiling a the imp began to sweat and become even more agressive. His wound irritated him and that just brought out his mood even more so. Real dodged another swing of the imp's hands. [B]King Imp:[/B] You coward. Stand still. Real jumped into a tree and laughed. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Haha. I don't think so. [B]King Imp:[/B] Grrr... why you little... I'll teach you some respect! Suddenly, the monster lashed out his tongue, taking out the branch that Real stood on. Real fell to the ground in a rush. He rubbed his head and looked up. His vision was blurred from the drop. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Whoa. [B]King Imp:[/B] And now ladies and gents, the final touch. Raaa... RAGH! He shot a beam from his eyes sending Real straight through the tree behind him. You could suppose that took Real out for the battle. Luckily for Real, the imp monster was too into dancing about happily in a victorious way. [B]King Imp:[/B] Take that, slimeball. Haha! Just then, guess who awoke. That's right. Gersh did. He stood up and looked about. He rubbed his head and picked up his massive club and lodged it onto his shoulder. He took a look at his surroundings. The burning plants. The broken rocks and trees. The giant monster that was laughing at the limp body of Real's. That's when it hit Gersh that Real was in trouble. [B]Gersh:[/B] Real! The imp heard that and turned to investigate the scene. Gersh quickly hid and he barely made it from the vision of the imp. Luckily imps don't have the best of eyes. The imp master turned back and laughed at the limp Real as if he was his favorite TV show. Gersh slowly rose from his position and walked over to a tree and hid behind it. He did the same with another. And another. He was carefully getting closer to the imp monster to bonk him on the head. Maybe, just maybe, he could hit the beast hard enough to knock him unconscious. The closer he got, the more nervous. It wasn't in a lith's blood to walk about and smack giant man-eating monsters on the head with a club. He wasn't even suppose to fight those imps. Lithes were suppose to be peaceful creatures and not fight. Well, Gersh was being stupid and disobeyed the lith laws. And trust me on this one. That's pretty amazing that a lith (especially Gersh) would go off and break the rules of all that is lith. It's practically like breaking the laws of physics. And you can guess that doesn't happen everyday. Gersh lifted his club off his shoulder as soon as he made it to the rock that was the closest to the imp monster. Clamping the club's hilt in his mouth and climbed the tall rock (well, it was tall for him. Maybe just the size of an average human). He sometimes slipped, but regained position just as fast. The imp was too into his chuckling at small defenseless creatures to notice the lith with a club in his mouth climbing the boulder behind him. [B]Gersh:[/B] Easy does it. Easy. Easy... Gersh slipped at the top and this time, he wasn't silent about it. He flung back from the weight of the club and flew into a tree screaming. [B]Gersh:[/B] Not easy! That got the imp monster's attention and the large green beast lifted the rock that Gersh was climbing. That's when it spotted Gersh, the small little lith with a massive killer club. Gersh just grinned at the big glob of imp. [B]Gersh:[/B] So much for element of surprise. the imp grinned and maybe even laughed a moment, but snatched up Gersh just as quickly. He lifted his arm behind him and brought it forth, flinging the lith far over to where Real lay unconscious, or shall we say, dead in the point of view to the stupid imp monster. Gersh carefully got up and looked at the imp monster that was running towards him. The imp monster now saw that Real was breathing and quite alive. This angered him and imp powered up his eye beam. Gersh ran away from Real for Real coulded gurd himself. The imp followed the small brown fuzzy creature. [B]King Imp:[/B] Come here, little lith. I just wanna show you something. Come here. Gersh didn't listen and instead ran faster than he had ever before. He ran back to his spot where he left the club, picked it up and turned towards the charging monster. Gersh waited. He waited 'til it came closer. Then, at the right time, Gersh jumped into the air and slammed his club down on the imp king's head. The greast leader collapsed and the land shook. Gersh shook as well even if he landed on the ground seconds after the quake was over. Gersh grinned at the fallen beast and threw his club aside. He ran over to the unconscious Real and slapped his face, pouring water on him that was from the nearby stream. Real blinked and rubbed his eyes to clear his vision even though it only made it worse. Soon he was able to see Gersh standing over him. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Gersh... your awake. [B]Gersh:[/B] Yeah. Gersh awake. You get knocked out in battle. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Did we win? Gersh shook his head, his rabbit-like ears flowing in the breeze he caused himself. [B]Gersh:[/B] Yes. We win. Gersh grinned. Real did also, even if he felt he couldn't move. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Good. He managed to say. But the troubles weren't over yet. Real's eyes lit up all of a sudden and Gersh turned to his the imp, healthy as ever except for the huge crack in his head. Blood dripped all the way down his body in a stream of crimson life. [B]King Imp:[/B] You stupid fools! I'm not defeated that easy! Now you shall both suffer! And you little lith. Your the first one to go. For doing this to my beautiful face! The Imp king pointed to the wound on his forehead. [B]King Imp:[/B] Prepare... TO MEET YOUR DEMISE! The imp king started up his eye beam. Gersh and Real were powerless to stop it. Gersh's lub was far away and he wouldn't get it in time. They were doomed.

Yeah. But Pineapple Vengence is a one of a kind thingy. The new series will be on it's own. It'll be closer to Dude Stories kind of than any other, but it has it's own league. I even have the name worked out. It shall premeir in August with Kobra and Lamb's new season. Woohoo! August! Best month around! New Show Name: Jo Jones

Sweet deal, Rico. Yeah. I have cutscenes as well. And I got a crap load of Tutorials if you want any including "adventure battle system", "Bank", and "Text Color". Those are some basics. I release my game at the end of July.

Haha. I'm like you. I get my character names from a baby book my mom got at a garage sale or something. That and I make up names, use a Name Generator on my comp, or just plainly get them from other people. Now the Big Answer: RM2K is an RPG Maker. RM2K is short for RPG Maker 2000. I have used it for about 2 years now. NightScape would be my next production in it. Get it here: [url]http://www.rm2k.phantomrpg.com[/url] When there, go to the side bar, click on RM2K, select setup files, and download them. There are two files. The RM2K one and the RTP one. I'll explain it more in pm if you'd like. Just pm me.

Heh. I remember that episode when I said that. I said it a bit differently, but you know how it is. Good news. I'm working on a new show from Disasterpiece Theatre. It's a saga so each episode links to the next (like you'd see in Gundam Wing or DBZ). Yay! Happy times!

Man, next time I say I'm gonna make an episode in that same day, don't expect it. Lots of things have been going on this week. I've been tied up in it all. Here it is. [SIZE=4]GOATMAN![/SIZE] [SIZE=3]Episode 5 "Dog Gone It!"[/SIZE] Announcer: You?ve seen Homeward Bound 1. Little Boy: Your back, chance! (sniffs his dog) Woah! Where have you been? Announcer: And Homeward Bound 2. Dad: Darn those dogs! Announcer: Now you can see Homeward Bound 3! IN Surround Sound. Little boy: C?mon, dad. We must find Chance. Older Boy: Yeah. What about Shadow? Dad: I don?t give a rip about your dogs. They ran away. it?s their fault! So take it to the bank and deposit that! Girl: (runs off crying) Announcer: It?s fun for the whole family. So see it this August! [SIZE=1] Show contains strong language and not for the whole family. [/SIZE] Narrator: Welcome to Goatman! I think I?m getting the hang of this job. In fact, Goatman is the greatest show ev-wait a minute. This script sucks. You tricked me in trying to say this! (rips up script) Get someone else to do the show. Network Producer: Now who are we gonna get to host the show? Arch Nemesis: Ya know, General Wes, I find peanut shells to be fascinating with their rumples and salty taste. General Wes: Yes sir. Network producer: Hmm? He may work. (walks past Arch Nemesis and takes a hobo) Your our new show host. Hobo: My mom always did say I had talent. Network Producer: yeah, yeah. Talent. Whatever. Hobo: (chokes on a piece of meteor from 5 light years away and passes out) Arch: Whoa. What are the chances of that? Network Producer: Well, Arch, I guess it?s your show. Arch Nemesis: Excellent. (rubs hands together) Arch: Welcome to Arch?s Show where I host some show about a guy? I mean Goat that has super powers. (wiggles fingers) I find that you people will enjoy this show. (sticks finger in ear and picks at earwax) Yes. And my assistant, General Wes will be here to help as well. (pulls out finger and waves the earwax at Wes) What do you think about that? General Wes: Nauseating. Arch: Huh? How can a show be nauseating? Oh well. On with the show. We find Goatman rescuing some people blah blah blah? God. No wonder the narrator quit. Huh? (looks at camera man) Oh right. Ahem? and over at the dog race tracks a new event emerges. A dog race! Wow. Unexpected. Dog Show Announcer: Wow, ladies and gentlemen, what an exciting day for dog races. We have champion dogs like The Master of Racing, Speed Demon, and everyone?s favorite, That Was My Shoe You Just Ate. Audience: (cheers) Arch: What?s this? It seems that a suspicious person is standing in the shadows. Hey! That?s my job! Suspicious Person: Muhahahaha! Soon, they shall pay for what they did to me, Y2K9 which is really a retarded name. Those people that named me should pay as well. (steps out into the light revealing a hideous monster! Then moves the monster aside and reveals himself! he?s a dog!) Hahahahahaha-cough cough! Hack! Arch: Well maybe next time you?ll think twice before guzzling a bucket of jalapenos. Y2K9: Right. Arch: And so, Y2K9 cracks a mysterious EVIL plan to ruin the dog races. Y2K9: I never said I was going to ruin the dog races. I?m just gonna do something to some people. Arch: Oh right. Sorry. Now? umm? what?s next? let?s see.. (looks at script) Ah yes. Line of questions. What will Y2K9 do? Will Goatman be there to help? How much could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Find out after this commercial break. [B]It?s the Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo![/B] Announcer: That?s right folks. The Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo is here! Guy: The what? Announcer: The Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo! Guy: What?s with the long name. Announcer: The Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo is so great, it has a special way of doing things. Wow. Guy: What does the Wicky Hicky Gosnatch Oscar Award I-Er! What does it do? Announcer: It?s so great it does stuff. Guy: Yes, but what does it do? Announcer: Why, it- Screen: We interrupt this commercial for a Emergency Broadcast System Test. I just had t test out this new game console I bought and I thought you might like to see. I mean, wow. It?s so cool! Check it out! Super Dario Brothers! And look! I got Spiderman the Movie game and I?m so freakin? awesome at it and-what? Okay? We?re returning to our show? Announcer: ?and that?s what it does. Guy: But that Emergency thing came on and I didn?t hear a thing you just said. Announcer: Precisely. (teeth ping) So go out to the stores and buy this useless, but fun Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo today! [SIZE=1] Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo?s are not sold in any store near you or near anyone for that matter so get off your butt and go get a life. [/SIZE] Arch: We?re back and stuff. We now see the dog races have started. And guess who?s in that race. You guessed it! That Was My Shoe That You Just Ate! He?ll win and you know it. But who also is in the race is Y2K9. He?s just one step closer to his evil plan. Y2K9: I?m one step closer to the edge, and I?m about to break! (plays Linkin Park and everyone jams) Arch: (whoops out his disco suit and dances to the beat) This is wiggy, aye General Wes? General Wes: Groovy, sir. Arch: Oo ah. Oo ah. You know, we could really use something in here. General Wes: Like what sir? Arch: Like a Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo. Those things are cool. General Wes: Yes. Very wiggy. Arch: (leaps back in chair) Ahem. Goatman rushes to the scene of the crime which is the dog races and-wait a minute. How did he know Y2K9 was going to do some crime? Goatman: I looked at the script while you were dancing. It said that your suppose to say he?s going to do some crime. Arch: Oh right. Well? (rips out pages not needed) Carry on. Goatman: Right. (flies to the scene) Arch: I need a new day job. Y2K9: (finishes the race second against That Was My Shoe You Just Ate) Perfect. Even if I got second, it can?t ruin my plans. In fact, I didn?t want 1st or it would ruin my plans. Keep winning That Was My Shoe You Just Ate for you shall pay for our past lives! (lightning flashes) Y2K9: Oh for crying out loud. That?s the third episode it?s done that. Get the lights fixed. Arch: And so, Goatman makes it to the dog race track, but doesn?t spot Y2K9 anywhere. I feel an action scene approaching. Uh oh. Goatman: I bet he?s batching evil plots somewhere. I?ll just enjoy the show ?til I see him. Arch: Later, after the show ended? Goatman: Man, that was a good show. Oh crap! I forgot about Y2K9! Arch: Bum bum bummm? Network Producer: Um? you don?t have to do sound effects. We have a sound effect machine, ya know. Arch: Not even the Bum bum bumm part? Network Producer: No. Not even the Bum bum bumm part. Arch: Oh c?mon. I can do great sounds. Network Producer: Really. That?s great. Arch: ya know, I did the Meep Meep sounds for the Roadrunner. Network Producer: Uh huh. Arch: I was the Roadrunner. Network Producer: Great. Arch: here. Try these sounds. Ka-room! Oobie da! Ooo oo! Here?s a car honk. HONK! Network Producer: Could we get back to the- Arch: (farts) Whoops. That one was not my mouth. Network producer: For God sakes get on with the show! (puts in a nose plug) Goatman: (spots Y2K9 walking up to the announcer?s booth and enters) Holy Heart Failure and Klondike bars! There he goes! (rushes up to the booth and opens the door) Oh my! AHHHHHH!!! Arch: What did Goatman just see? Did Y2K9 do something bad? Did he leave a nono in the announcer?s shoe? find out after this commercial break. or read the script like I do. Network producer: Shhh! That?s our secret! Arch: Oh. Right. Announcer: Hello. I?m Marty Mart Martin and I work for The Hourglass Retirement Home. Here, we love our customers. Worker: You just think you can watch what ever you want? Listen lady, this retirement home only plays one channel and if you don?t like Barnet 24/7, you can just GET OUT! Announcer: We will take extra care of your old folks. Old Man: I?m sick. Worker: Oh. I?m sorry. You must?ve mistaken me for someone who gives a rip! Announcer: And the home itself is astounding. Old Woman: There?s bats in my room. Worker: Let me see. (walks into the dusty old room that?s falling apart) I don?t see anything wrong with it. I?d love this room. What are you? A premadonna? You gotta have it perfect? Old Woman: No, but look, it?s trash. The couch is just a blanket covered with dog hair. Worker: That?s not dog hair. Announcer: And we keep everything in excellent condition. Old Woman: My room is cold. Worker: Oh. The air conditioner is broken so live with it! Old Woman: I thought it was the fact that my room has no wall, but okay. Announcer: So bring your loved ones down to Hourglass Retirement Home! If Your old and frail, expired and stail, COME ON DOWN! Arch: (dances) Booyah, baby! Oh. We?re back. (rips off disco suit) We last left off where Goatman opened the door revealing something that made him scream like a girl! Let?s see what happened. Goatman: AHHHH!!! Y2K9: What is it? Goatman: A spider! Kill it, kill it, kill it! Y2K9: (crushes it) Now can I get back to what I was doing with That Was My Shoe You Just Ate? Goatman: Stop that crime your doing! Y2K9: Crime? I?m just paying That Was My Shoe You Just Ate for the haircut he trimmed for me. He?s my barber. Arch: Well, THAT was unexpected. Goatman: I?ll say. (turns back to Y2K9) So I guess no criminal is in this episode. Y2K9: Yep. Arch: Not so fast! Goatman: Hubbawha? Arch: I now have control over the show! I can do my evil deeds at last! Narrator: I?m back to take back my show. Arch: Awww dang it. Narrator: And so the day is saved by me because I wanted this crumby job back and the only other option was the Hobo?s Express train outside the studio. Hobo: So come on down! THE END This show was brought to you by Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo! Fun for everyone! [SIZE=1] Must be 4000 years old to play with it. [/SIZE]

Heh. Episode 5 is today. It'll be a special one. The enemy will be someone new ;)

Silly, HyperShadow. No applause. Just money. Ahem... but now for the real stuff, I don't really have to program when making my games. I use RM2K. It's very simple to make RPG's with it. And, it may take a lot of brainpower, but your able to make platform, adventure, puzzle, and all that on the same system. Very easy. In fact, my game NightScape is in production and it's look good.

Okay. As I promised. [SIZE=4]GOATMAN![/SIZE] [SIZE=3]Episode 4 "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARCH!"[/SIZE] Guy: (whistling and walking down the road) Announcer: (jumps up out of nowhere) hey! Guy: What in the blue hell! Announcer: Want to make money? Guy: I already do. Announcer: In a simpler way? Guy: You mean like taxes? Announcer: No. Try again. Guy: Borrowing money? Announcer: WAY OFF! In fact, I?ll show you. (runs into a bank and points a gun to the banker) Give me all your money! (runs outside to the guy) It?s that simple! Guy: You just robbed a bank. Announcer: Yes! Yes I did. (smiles) Guy: There?s police coming. Announcer: Here. Enjoy. (shoves the money in the guy?s hands and runs off) Narrator: This episode is a special one! It?s Arch?s Christmas special! Oh wait? birthday. My bad. Arch Nemesis: (wakes up) Alarm Clock: RIIIIIIIIIIINMG (gets smashed) Arch Nemesis: (leaps from bed and into his slippers) Ah! It?s a great day! Why? Because it?s my birthday! I bet my millions of minions got me presents. Every last one of them. And General Wes got me something HUGE! I must go see! General Wes: (pouring coffee) Arch Nemesis: (slips up to his side) What are you doing today, General Wes? General Wes: Making coffee, sir. Arch: Is it special BIRTHDAY coffee? General Wes: No. Cappuccino. Arch: Oh? (shuffles feet) So? umm? know what today is? General Wes: Tuesday. Arch: No! It?s a holiday! General Wes: It is? Arch: Yes! General Wes: Really? Arch: Yes! General Wes: What holiday? Arch: A birthday! You know who?s birthday it is? Minion: Yeah! It?s Harry?s birthday! Harry: (gets picked up and cheered for) Some Guy: You?re the man, Harry! Arch: Wha-what? Minion2: We all chipped in to buy you this new car. People: Ooo? Minion3: And this giant shaver which you could probably use on that giant chimp over there! He likes music too. People: Aww? Chimp: Ragh! Arch: Wait a min- Minion: And of course, it took us all night, but we made this HUGE cake! Arch: That?s enough! It?s my birthday! It?s mine, mine, mine, mine MINE!! Minion: It is? People: I didn?t know. Did you? No. Wow. Arch: How could you not know? I posted it all around the evil lair! Can?t you see that giant flashing sign completely covering the east wall saying ?Arch Nemesis?s Birthday! Give him gifts!? Random Person: Hey! There?s a flashing sign! Everyone: (crowds around the sign in awe) Arch: Argh! It?s in the evil calendars I send everyone. Minion2: No it isn?t. Minion203: Yeah. It must says ?Harry?s Birthday?. Arch: Let me see that! (grabs it and looks it over) Hey! My name is crossed out and Harry is put in. It?s not even Harry?s birthday ?til December! Harry: Oops. (is dropped on the floor and tossed out the door) Private Sloth: Hey everyone! It?s Harry?s birthday. Arch: Umm? yeah. Thanks, Private Sloth. God he?s slow. Now then, you guys didn?t really have to get me all this stuff. People: (starts pushing gifts out the door to return) Arch: hey, hey, hey! You didn?t have to, but I want them. People: Oh. Okay. (puts them back) Arch: Now then, I have a birthday wish. BRING GOATMAN TO ME SO WE CAN FINISH HIM OFF! I?ll make it my birthday AND Christmas present since it?s such a big one. Now go! Narrator: Uh oh. Seems like Arch Nemesis is thinking big! What will happen next. Find out after this crappy commercial! Announcer: Welcome to Bill?s Quote of the Day! Heeeeeeeeere?s Bill! Bill: Ahem. To- Announcer: Thaaaaaaat?s Bill! Bill: I didn?t fini- Announcer: See ya next time! Narrator: Umm? yeah. We need a new sponsor. Now then, last we left Arch, he was after Goatman for his birthday present. Let?s see what?s up with Goatman. Oh my! He just saved some people from a raging fire! Goatman: (places the people on the ground and hovers in the air) There you are. I just saved you from a raging fire. Some People: Thank you, Goatman! Goatman: Yep. Now, up, up, and somewhere else!!!! (flies into a tree and falls down) Ow? Minion47809: (talks into his walkie talkie) I?ve spotted him. Over. Minion239: (talks into his walkie talkie as well) I see him as well. Over. Hehe. These cups on a string are fun. Minion47809: Sure are! Arch: Just beat him up! Minion239: Right, sir. (and so they beat Goatman up and knocked him out) Narrator: Later, in the evil lair, Goatman wakes up? Arch: Hahahaha! Now that you?ve wakened up after 3 hours, we can finally kill you! General Wes: Umm? sir. Arch: What? General Wes: Why didn?t you just kill him while he was unconscious? Arch: For God sakes, General Wes, stop with the easy ways out! You make us look bad. Especially on my birthday. Goatman: It?s your birthday? Arch: Darn right. Don?t tell me you didn?t know neither. Goatman: Can?t say I did. Arch: What? You?d think your mortal enemy would remember when your birthday is. How long have we been foes? Goatman: About 3 episodes. 4 if you include this one. Arch: See. Perfect amount of time to find out my birthday. Goatman: But you were always hunting me down and I didn?t have time to- Arch: Pish posh. You failed at being a good enemy! Goatman: Sorry. Arch: Sorry doesn?t cut it! But this knife does. (takes out a knife) It?s very handy around the kitchen. And it comes in many sizes and in a complimentary wooden case. (holds up the case of knives) Minions: Ooo? awww? Arch: Now then? YOU SHALL DIE, GOATMAN! Narrator: Uh oh. Will Arch Nemesis be able to destroy Goatman or will Goatman escape? You guess? Find out after this terribly ridiculous commercial break! Theme song: Cheesy Wheezy Puffs! They are so yummy! When you are down, get rid of that frown and fill up your tummy! Announcer: That?s right! Cheesy Wheezy Puffs are so delicious you?ll want to eat them ?til you become terribly sick to your stomach! Isn?t that right, Timmy? Timmy: I don?t feel so good. Announcer: Precisely. In fact, you should only have to eat 4 bites before collapsing to the ground in a painful way. (whispers to Timmy ?eat some more?) Timmy: But I don?t like them? (shaking) Announcer: I said eat more! (turns back to the audience and smiles) Mmm mm? good. Timmy: (collapses to the ground and not moving) Announcer: Hahaha. Kids these days. So buy Cheesy Wheezy Puffs and see what side effect you?ll have besides enjoying them! Theme song: Cheesy Wheezy Puffs! They are so yummy! When you are down, get rid of that frown and fill up your tummy! Narrator: (collapses to the ground) My stomach! Oh!!! (drops bag of Cheesy Wheezy Puffs) Last? we? left? off? Arch Nemesis was? about to? kill Goatman? let?s watch? (grab and paper sack and runs into the other room) Arch Nemesis: MUHAHAHAHAHA! Now then, General Wes, take this set of knives to the kitchen. I have some destroying to do. Goatman: (finally notices he?s not tied up and leaps at Arch and kicks him) Arch: Ouchies! (flies into a toilet that was in the middle of the room [reason unknown]) Goatman: Bring it on, everyone. (kicks everyone and beats them up) Minion32: NO! NO! I don?t wanna be ki- (gets kicked into the screen and cracks it) Goatman: Whoops. Arch: (pulls his head out of the toilet) Get him giant chimp! Chimp: RAGH! (runs after Goatman) RAGH! (eats a banana) RAGH! (runs after Goatman again) Goatman: (turns around and kicks the monkey in the nose) Chimp: (holds his nose. He then whimpers) Hmm? (turns around and runs after Arch) Arch: Hey now! No! NO! (gets beaten down) Narrator: (returns from the bathroom) Woah. Yuck. Umm? where were we? Oh yeah. Luckily the chimp attacked Arch. It gave Goatman time to escape and return home in the new car with a piece of the cake. Uh oh. (runs back to the bathroom) Goat: (eating cake and watching TV) I wonder how Arch is doing with the chimp. Arch: (is being choked by the chimp) Don?t stop? ack! Playing the? ack! Music, General Wes! General Wes: (is playing the violin) I?m doing my best, sir. Chimp: RAGH! Arch: CURSE YOU, GOATMAN! (sighs) Who else has a craving for bananas? THE END This show was brought to you by Starney the Mucky Green-colored Dinosaur. He?s discusting and nobody loves him, but he still keeps on trying. Starney: (drinking soda and watching TV) Yeah. Whatever. GO STARNEY!

A sheep? Curious. I wanna read. I like comedy junk. And sorry people for the delay. I have lots going on right now. Episode 4 in a few hours!

Haha. Lame coverup Angel. Tee hee.

Ah yes. Priceless moments. I am already working on Epiode 4. It will be on tonight, probably. Yay! Don't miss it!

Sorry for the delay. Here's Epi 3. [SIZE=4]GOATMAN[/SIZE] [SIZE=3]Episode 3 "Is There a Doctor in the House?"[/SIZE] Guy: (standing on the top of a 10-story building?s ledge) Announcer: (pops up) Hi! Guy: AH! Don?t scare me like that! Announcer: Feeling low? Guy: Yeah. Announcer: Hate your life? Guy: Yeah. In fact, I?m going to end it by jumping off this- Announcer: Then you need the new CD from Jabroni Productions called ?Jump?. Guy: Jump? Announcer: Jump. Guy: Jump? Announcer: YES! Jump! Guy: Okay. (jumps) Announcer: The CD even includes a parachute for some odd reason. (throws the CD into the guy?s hands and the parachute releases) Guy: Aw shoot. Announcer: So buy it today? IF YOU KNOW WHAT?S GOOD FOR YA? (smiles) Narrator: Today we start our show in an evil mad scientist?s castle. Doctor: I am a doctor. Not a scientist. My name is Dr. Ego And I shall destroy Goatman! Muhahahahaha! Narrator: Yeah, whatever. Dr. Ego: I have a plan to serve him this broth in a soup he shall order tonight at a restaurant. When he drinks it, Hashanah? shall I say more? Audience: Yes! Dr. Ego: Oh. Okay. He shall drink the broth and die! Muahahahahahha! (lightning flashes in background) Dr. Ego: Woah. Arch Nemesis wasn?t kidding when he said something about that lightning. But now, I must finish mixing the broth for Goatman?s last meal! Muhahahaha! Narrator: Uh oh. It looks like Goatman?s in for a bad meal tonight. But we find out hero busting up some bad guys in an alley. Goatman: Stop right there! Bad Guy1: It?s Goatman! Bad Guy2: Yous better not mess wits us or yous will gets a beating. Goatman: Oh yeah? You and what army? Bad Guy1: Nots from us. From our boss. Goatman: Your boss? (suddenly, a small man about half Goatman?s size walks out and steps up to Goatman) Boss: Yeah. Me. You wanna fight. Bring it. (starts hitting Goatman) Goatman: (looks up) What the? He?s not even hurting me. (picks up the boss by the back of his shirt) I feel like I?m gonna break him. (throws him into a trash can) Bad Guy1: Yous can?t treat our boss likes that! Bad Guy2: Yeah! Yous gonna pay dearly now! (They jump Goatman, but miss and Goatman smacks the two up and tosses them into trashcans next to the boss?s) Goatman: The police should arrive soon. Stay put unless you want another beating. (stomach growls) Wow. I need to eat. I?ll go to that restaurant. Narrator: And so, Goatman goes to that restaurant. But little did he know, Dr. Ego was planning on serving him his evil poisonous broth! Dr. Ego: (watching TV and eating popcorn at his house. Jumps up and down at the horror film) Don?t go in there! That?s where the monster is! Narrator: Ahem? the broth. Dr. Ego: What? Oh crap! I gotta get there and serve it to him! (gets dressed and grabs his broth and runs out to the restaurant next door to his castle which was located in Town Town) Goatman: (seats himself) Hm. Soup looks good. Narrator: HOLD IT! (Screen freezes) Narrator: Tell me exactly how Dr. Ego knew Goatman was dining at that restaurant and how he magically knew he wanted soup. Huh? Tell me that. C?mon. Hey! Don?t start rolling the film again! I?m talking you little- (film starts again) Goatman: Waiter! Waiter! Waiter that looks like Dr. Ego with a mustache: Yes, sir? Goatman: I?d like the Dr. Ego special soup, please. Dr. Ego Waiter: Very good sir. Goatman: And how much is that? Dr. Ego Waiter: For you, it?s free. Goatman: What? Really? Wow. Dr. Ego Waiter: (faces his back on Goatman and laughs diabolically) Goatman: What?s so funny? Dr. Ego Waiter: (stops laughing) Umm? one of the waiters dropped food and spilled it everywhere. Goatman: Oh. That?s not funny. Dr. Ego Waiter: (turns around) WELL IT IS TO ME! Goatman: Okay. Okay. Dr. Ego Waiter: (walks off laughing. His mustache falls off revealing Dr. Ego) Narrator: Oh my goodness! Who saw that coming! I sure didn?t! Will he actually be able to poison Goatman? Will this be the last episode when it?s only the 3rd? How much is the soup really? All these questions (except maybe the last one) will be answered in the next part of Goatman after this commercial break! Guy: (sitting on a bench in the park) Announcer: (pops up out of the bush nearby) HEY! Guy: ACK! (collapses in shock) Announcer: Tired of those sour back pains? Guy: (gets up) What sour back pa- Announcer: Precisely! After using this magical potion brewed by the Wicked Witch of the West you?ll feel younger. Guy: How much younger? Announcer: Most likely one year previous when you still had back pains. Guy: Then what?s the good in this product. Announcer: Nothing! (smiles at audience) Narrator: (Shuffles the script pages) Ahem? yeah? when we last left Goatman, Dr. Ego was about to serve him his special soup? FOR FREE! What a deal. Dr. Ego: Here you are, sir. (places down the soup and his mustache falls in it) Goatman: Umm? your hair fell off. Good God! It?s Dr. Ego! Dr. Ego: What? How did you know it was me? You?ve never met me before. Not even heard of me. I haven?t even committed any crimes yet. Goatman: I just saw your name tag your wearing, but you are going to commit crimes? Your coming with me. (gets up out of his seat) Dr. Ego: Not so fast! (grabs a nearby woman and takes a cucumber out his apron and points it to her head) Another step closer and she gets it. Goatman: Umm? (motions his head at the vegetable) Dr. Ego: Huh? (looks down) Oh. My bad. (he replaces it with a gun) Now, one step closer and-AWW! You know the rest! Goatman: Now calm down. You don?t want to do this. Dr. Ego: Actually, I kind of do. It seems like fun for a newly-born criminal. Goatman: Really? Dr. Ego: Yes. In fact, ever sense I was little, since 2nd grade I believe, I wanted to be a criminal and my father was always like, ?Boy! Before you become a criminal, I got-? (is knocked out by Goatman) People in restaurant: Hey! We wanted to hear the rest! Guy: (stands up) Hey! Let?s maul him! People: Yeah! Goatman: (backs away and jumps out the window, running down the street) People: (chase him) Narrator: Uh oh. This looks like trouble. How will Goatman get out of this one? Will he ever be able to arrest Dr. Ego? And where is Arch Nemesis in this episode? Arch Nemesis: (sitting in a field of flowers) Aren?t daisies lovely, General Wes? General Wes: Sure are, sir. Narrator: Find out after this short commercial break that makes no sense! Announcer: And now it?s time for- [SIZE=3] Let?s Talk with Arch [/SIZE] Arch Nemesis: (Looks at audience) Oh. Hello. I?m Arch Nemesis. You may remember me from the series ?Goatman? and the movie ?Exotic Babes and a Cruise Ship? and no I?m not Archie from the comic series. I?m here to chat it up with some people. Here today is Steven Spielberg. Hey ya, Steve. Steven: Hey there, Arch. Arch: So, Stevie. I can call you Stevie, right? Steven: No. Arch: So, Stevie, what movies are you planning on making? Steven: Well, there is- Arch: Great. (pushes a button and Steven falls in a hole) That?s all the time we have for today. Join me again for- [SIZE=3] Let?s Talk with Arch [/SIZE] Audience: (applauds) Narrator: (snoring) Wha-what? Oh. we?re back on. Okay. Now where were we? Salami or something? Oh. Now I remember. We last left Goatman when he was being chased by an angry mob. What will he do? Who cares! (goes back to sleep) Goatman: Must? think? (thinks and a big light bulb appears over his head. He throws the light bulb and it knocks over the crowd) Haha! Uh oh. (some of the crowd survived the attack and became faster) Goatman: Wait a minute. I can fly. (flies) Crowd: Aww? Goatman: (hits a building) Crowd: Yay! Goatman: (lands safely) Crowd: Aww? Goatman: (gets hit by a truck) Crowd: Yay! Goatman: (eats ice cream from that truck) Crowd: Ya-uh? aww? umm? Guy: Let?s just get him! Crowd: Yeah! (runs after Goatman) Goatman: (is suddenly picked up by Arch Nemesis on a hang glider) Wha? Arch Nemesis: Now I have you. Hahahaha! See! I am in this episode after all! Hahaha- (hit?s a speeding jet) Goatman: (lands safely in his home) Aww? Narrator: (sucking his thumb and holding his teddy bear. Is poke by a stick) Wha-what? Oh. Umm? five more minutes? (gets poked again) OKAY! So, what happened? (is informed of what happened) Is that it? That?s the simplest way they could think of Goatman to escape? My God! (looks at script) ACK! The way the crowd forgets all about the incident is far worse! Well, they forget all about it the next day. Stupid, right? As for Dr. Ego? Dr. Ego: (wakes up) Wha-what happened? Narrator: Ask the guy that told me. Dr. Ego: Oh. Okay. Thanks. (walks back to his castle next to the restaurant) Narrator: Meanwhile, Goat plots on how to find Dr. Ego) Goat: So he lives in a castle. Where am I going to find a castle? My God! Narrator: Umm? yeah? so Goat?s adventures for one day are over. And people are safe! I have a crazy for soup now? THE END This show was brought to you by NOTHING AT ALL! Literally, nothing. Nobody bothered to bring it to you. Crazy, huh. Yeah. So, nothing. It?s everywhere.

I don't. I'm just a master at game plotting. Last night, I had nothing to do while 4th of July slowly slipped by. Today, I have NO TIME whatsoever. I have to finish writing a chapter book by tomorrow, make the game NightScape by the end of July, draw a crap load of art and MORE!!! I have no time on my hands. I practically can't be OB right now.

---Conflict--- Awww crap! We're getting into the part where we start the plot up. You really need to put on a thinking cap here, boys and girls. This isn't something you can pull out of your ear, ya know. It may be one of the hardest parts of the game to think up. You really got to work at it. Don't take an idea that was thought of in 3 minutes (unless that idea is REALLY REALLY good. Heh). Trust me. There does come times when you think of an idea from planning for 3 whole minutes. I thought of a lot of my plot for NightScape in 3 whole minutes. Well, maybe around 10 minutes, but it turned out great. people complimented me on my success in a great storyline. Person: Bravo, Gavin! That's a fine storyline you've cooked up. Gavin: Thanks! Person2: I'll say. It was a great idea. Gavin: Well, I was too. Okay, so what if that wasn't their exact words, but they did say stuff like it. They said it was an incredible idea and they couldn't wait to play it. Still, I am good at thinkingup ideas for stories and junk. I'm a writer. Not all people can do that. And if your a person taht can't, sit down and think and don't take the first idea that pops up and sounds good enough and you whip it into a game. Make sure it actually is good. Not some plain old idea like: "A bad, bad man is about to destroy the world if he doesn't get to be King of BLAH BLAH BLAH!" You get the picture. The idea takes time. The conflict isn't easy to think of. In fact, the planning of the conflict can be a conflict itself. The conflict can enter anywhere between the beginning and the middle of the game. The true conflict that is. Sidequest conflicts or small problems can enter anywhere really. Just as long as they are actually a conflict. When making a conflict, figure out how this involves the hero and the villain. Also, try not to make it so the hero finds out that a certain villain is behind the evil deeds right when he learns about them. Give the problem some time to unfold. Plus, as a bonus, if you let it wind down, it'll become a bigger problem and problaby cause many other conflicts along the way. It's a good idea to make the road to victory a bumpy ride. And remember, don't just throw some stuff together and call it "done!" 'cause I tell you one thing, mister (or miss. I'll just say reader), that kind of plot won't hold off in the end. No siree bob! Think about it. ---THE MAIN PLOT--- Alrighty. This may just be the most important part of the whole game. And this article. Why would I write an article about plots when there's no section on the main plot itself. Anyways, this should be planned out after you have the conflict in the palm of your hand. Once you've got the idea of a problem, you can piece the whole story together. Mainly the questions like "Why is the hero the one who has to go on this journey?" or "Why is the villain doing what he is doing?" will be answered here. When you have the main plot, you have the beginning and middle and some of the end. Not all of it. Not yet at least. This is where you start thinking of how the hero gets to his destination and how the villain fails to complete his mission. How does the villain stop the hero from coming is another important part of the journey. What good is the game if you can breeze through it and say "hello" to the friendly neighbors? I'll tell you what it's good for. For breezing through and saying "hello" to the friendly neighbors. That and NOTHING. So that's why you must plan this out nicely. It may not be as hard as the conflict part, but it can be a brain teaser. Watch out for this one. Sooner or later you'll have a brainfart and wind up with the rest of the game. You have the beginning, middle and the basic plot and conflict, but think it all over again and see if you can make changes to it. If it's not worth the trouble, go ahead and air this game out. It may be good or it may not be good. that's how it works. I'm just saying, look at the plot over and over again until you perfect it that it makes you wanna dance a happy jig... or something of the sort. Maybe just clap your hands. But plan out the plot professionally. Don't be a lazy bum, alright? ---Conclusion--- If your on this step, you should be wrapping up the plot. Pretty close to finishing up. Proud, you are? You bet! And nothin's more satisfying than finsihing a game that looks like a real winner... and turns out to be one! And don't you dare end it like this: Zeke: Dark Hanus is dead.... ... who's up for pizza? Companions: Alright! Yeah! No mushrooms, though! Of course, you could end it like that if it's a comedy. That is a pretty funny ending. And mushrooms? Yuck! Not me. I don't want them. But still, planning out the ending and wrapping up a great game with a game finish makes all that work worth while. You don't want people thinking it was a great game 'til THAT ENDING where the guy dies and they do out for pizza. I mean, really. Give the people what they want. A good game with a good ending. Either that or give them pizza. I'm sure they'd want that. Ways to end a game are to show how the characters' lives go after the defeat of the dark villain. Or, if the villain becomes good and lives with the heroes, show how they got along. Show how the world became happy again and the vil was fanquished. You can even end it sadly. The hero dies or someone on the good side dies or leaves. A sad ending is always good. Like FF7's ending. Bringing a tear to the gamer's eye works wonders on them. And makes them think your game is a miracle from God's Green Earth! Try it. It's magic! ---Intro--- You'd expect this to be at the beginning of the plot article, but nope. Intro's usually should stay as one of the last steps. After the storyline is planned, you can get an idea of how to start the game off. And therefore, a intro! Pretty simple once you have the plot. It's a wrap up, but an intro in the game. Crazy, right? To make the good intro, give an event that may lead to something later in the game. For example, my friend is making a game where it's intro has the Dark Emporer killing off all the royals guards (actually, I think he's killing them. I only recall him turning them to stone) and finally killing the king. This leads into the quest of the warrior in that game. It all works out thanks to planning the plot first. He did it right. He had the story already made. Since that was done, he simply thought up the intro and made it come true. See how simple it is? ---Credits--- So what if it doesn't involve the plot, but it is a special addition to a good game. You could have them at the beginning like a FF game or in the end like a Monkey Island game (funny series!). I choose it for the end. Why? I have no freakin' idea. The credits should be made after the game is completed. As you go through the process of creating the game, jot down the people and companies and places you got the stuff for your game from. Then, after the game is done, place them in the credits. Smart, smart. Think wisely, my friend. Think wisely. That pretty much concludes how to make a fabulous game plot. It may have taken a bit of time to read, but it will help. Trust me. I know. Good luck with any games you may have in production and makes sure you have an excellent plot! I bid you good day!

-------Legacy of the Plots------- A look at how to make an incredible plot for your game! All you people probably have played a game that you thought was well thought out. I know I have. In fact, playing these kinds of games give you the idea of how to plan one yourself. They usually start with a basic idea of beginning and ending. What the hero starts out as and where he ends up. Now seriously, don't go into a Super Mario Bros. plot where the hero is off to save the princess from a arch villain. C'mon. I'm not dissing Mario at all, but you can think of something better. I've also seen people plot out something where they go off to avenge a loved one's death. That's pretty good and many of those games turn out nicely done, but it needs more of an idea. Trust me. You'll find yourself plotting something of that calibur and you find yourself in a jam. My current game isn't about avenging deaths. In fact, it's not even near it. A good way to build a plot is to not even think of what the idea of the story is. I may sound crazy, but trust me. I had no idea what I was doing when making my game NightScape. I had no plot whatsoever. I started with the main character as a slave for some bad guy and I built my castle on that little brick. To get your story going, you must run into the plot slowly, giving out much detail as you can. Don't give out boring details that will make a person press quit and not play your game 'til 3 weeks later. Improvise, but think smart. Don't go dumbfire on too many ideas. Plus, spreading details makes a bigger game. If you don't want a bigger game, don't go crazy with ideas. But let me jump to the point here. Start small and build on that. You get a basic beginning that suits what your needs are and work into the plot of the story. Now I shall begin this lesson with more easier steps. ---The Worlds/Setting--- Always, ALWAYS make it your first step. It makes the game run smoother in your mind. Once getting the idea of where your world is, you can basically find what your character can do. Medieval worlds use old weapons and no technology. Watch this 'cause it has advantages and disadvantages. In our present time, you'll find things more simple since you can relate it on our lives. And of course, the future, where things can happen anytime, anywhere. You can mess with the future a lot more in some places than you can with others. Plus, technology rules in that time. or does it? You decide. Then, you can have a medieval/futuristic world as I sort of do in NightScape. You'll find out why if you ever play it. You can make it so the sword is medieval yet it can blast a bullet like a gun. You may have seen such in FF8, THE GUNBLADE! Booyah! But as such, the world can have mystical creatures like dragons when you fire huge guns at it. Or a mechanical drake as seen in Chrono Trigger. Speaking of which, time travel is an excellent way to make a game interesting. Bring your worlds into an utter land of zanniness where your gamers that play it can see their favorite times evolve into some other world. It all falls together like such. But plainly, the setting and worlds are the first step of making a good game plot and very important to start with. If you have no idea what kind of place your chara is in and you've released your game, I'm sorry to say, but you need to see a doctor. If you don't know the setting after it's done, you better get checked out. But plain and simple, this is ALWAYS first! ---Type/Ratings--- You shoukd probably plan this as you plan the settings and all that.The genre of the game always helps with the settings and basis of the plot. Plan which category your game shall fall into and you shall find thinking up the plot is much simpler. Here's some categories to follow: Comedy Serious Action Adventure Romance Simulation Puzzle Mix of Some You get the idea. My game NightScape is a mix sort of. It's an adventure, but it does have comedy in some places. Not too much 'cause I don't want it to be a comedy. Just a little. It's good to experiment like that. Then there's the ratings. You need to find your age group. This isn't as important as the type or settings, but it shows where the content of your game will be produced for the viewers. Is your game preschool or is it for those adult people? Here's some ratings. You probably already know them: KA- Kids to Adults E- Everyone T- Teen M- Mature AO- Adults Only The ratings vary on what you have in your game. My game has some swearing (hardly any, but still) so i placed it in T for Teen. It also has suggestive themes. Not sexual, but parts where violence occurs with blood (battles). If you want a younger audience, don't put swear words or violence in it (unless it's for teens) and when I say violence, I'm not excluding battles. That's an RPG's way. If your looking for the older types, go for M or AO. Those are for the naughty people ;) You get the picture. That's how the ratings work as well. ---Characters--- Kind of an everywhere step. You can add or take away the characters you think of anytime. But never begin the game without knowing your hero. That's just crazy. But thinking of your hero's background as well as his partners and the villains are the same as I said before. You can start them in a place where their history begins, but it doesn't nessesarily have to link with the main plot. They could be making a run from the guards because they are an escaped criminal. But that doesn't have to link with the plot. But I'm sure a criminal past will bring up some talk in the game. But that's the character's background in which is what you need. Then, there's always have a good villain around the bend. And it never hurt to throw in a few other guys to throw the gamer off and make them think that that's the villain when suddenly, they're ambushed by the real thing! A twisted plot. Ah yes. That's the good stuff. But then, you must make clues that could lead up to the main villain. And so, the gamer will find the villain and do the last battle. And just like the hero, a villain need a background. Like why he's doing what he's doing. What went wrong. And what he's doing that causes the victim so much misery. That's a key point in the process of making an excellent villain. If you want, you can make your hero have partners. Well, no duh, right? But what's a good companion if he's just a blank figure. You need to give him a reason for being in the quest. What the bloody 'ell is he doing with your hero? Get creative and think of ways for the partner to be heroic or whatever they do best. Personality is always a factor in the line of plotting. If the characters have personality, you have a complete set of incredible charas. Personality helps with their history and future and how they will interact with everything. You don't just come up to a companion and say "Hey" and you get a reply of "Hey" back. You should make it like this: Hero: Hey! Haven't seen you around here before. Welcome to Greentree Lake! Companion: Why, thank you, sir. I'm quite happy to be here. But these bugs! They sicken me! Bleh! Now that's the stuff. And the villain. He/she needs a personality as well. Not another person saying "You shall suffer now." Make it with feeling! Hero: Now I have you! Villain: I don't think so. I'm smarter than I look. And I love my hair style, don't you? Umm... yeah. You don't nessesarily have to give the villain a terrible case of bad ego, but personality hits the spot in the stomach of a gamer that craves good game. Plus, you should give the heroes a team name. Well, you don't have to. It's not gonna kill your game to have or not have one. If you play "The Legend of Dragoon", they're called the dragoons. In FF7, they're the Avalanche team. In my game NightScape, they're the Warriors of Lore. These team names would be another example of backgrounds. Why are they in this team of heroic warriors? How did they get into it? Was it destiny? Answer some of these questions if you will. I guarentee they will help. ---Names Make a Difference--- And they do! You don't usually wind up finding the hero's name Charlie or something uncreative. You wanna see something that you probably have never heard of and think "Dude, that name is really awesome. I wanna give this game a thousand awards". Well, lookie here, mister. You want some good names and you gotta find 'em. That or think 'em up. Watch! I'll think up one right now. Zogadith! Simple, yes? Of course, that doesn't sound like a hero. More like a companion. But partners need names too. If your having trouble with name plotting, try thinking of their background and name them something that has that meaning to it. Example: If they like carrots, name 'em Poko because that means carrots in some language I cannot recall -.- But as said before, what kind of hero would be named Bill or Chuck or something so plain. My name's not plain and hardly seen anywhere. My name is Gavin. That means White Hawk of Battle in Welsh. That may fit some character. Especially if it's a warrior bird or a warrior who likes birds. If you have trouble, here's some examples of names that may get you somewhere. I just pulled them from books and a name generator I downloaded. Others I made up: Zeke Tai Ili Mallard Ivor Hachi Pip Jamilynn Brooke Mak Othman Stellan Alma (hehe. That's a real name it's the town next to my town) Colleen That's all I should really give you. I only made about four of those, but they'll get you going. I hope. But good names means good games. Though, they're probably one of the least important parts. Still, if you just call your hero "Hero", taht's no good. Unless it's a comedy-based game. Then you can use stuff like Bill, Chuck, and Charlie. And of course, Hero. Yay! ---Beginning--- Every game has a beginning, but not all games have a good one. Like a book, you must make everything sound interesting down to the first line said. In a book, the author must make the first line catch a person's fancy or else, they'll loose interest and not pay attention to that book for who knows how long. Ways to get a good beginning are to think simple with rich detail. If you have an idea of the world in the game, you have a good idea where to begin. Think of ways to start the hero's life. Or if it's not thehero and maybe the hero's friend, do the same. Build a history for the chara as you build the plot. You'll find it simple and difficult to figure a way to start an excellent game. You not always have to have a part of the main storyline to get the game moving, but it can be helpful to get the idea of why the chara is leaving home or why he's escaping from jail or why she quit her job. In NightScape, Zell (the hero) is a slave as I said before. Being a slave have jackshickles to do with the plot and maybe a few lines about that past is mentioned in the game, but I must say, it's definately just the beginning of a grand adventure. Take a look at some games. In "The Legend of Dragoon", Dart (he's the hero) is attacked by a dragon and he fights it. Then running to his town, it's burnt to a crisp. This leads into the storyline later, but the dragon part is hardly anything. I've defeated that game. But that doesn't matter. What does matter is that not all games have a beginning that will immediatly set the chara off on a grand journey. Pace yourself and make the game last. If you lead right to the part where the hero fights the boss, what good is that? Just picture it like this. I've seen a lot of games start like this and end so quickly: Hero: Hey! A gem, you guys! Companion: Really? Cool. Villain: You have found my gem. Now suffer! Companion2: Aww crap. Just our luck. Okay, maybe I exagirated there, but they seem to fly by too fast. Make it last more than 3 hours for God sakes. There are people out there that love to sit down and play a good, short game and that's cool, but you usually can't make a good storyline out a game like that. I doubt you will too. I doubt it very much. Not dissing any short games, but still, be creative and expand the way the game goes. It'll get you farther. ---Events--- A game's gotta have events. If it didn't, it'd just be a game about a guy walking down the road and bumping into a bad guy in which he battles. Of course, the bumping and battling would be an event. Then it'd have to be a guy standing there. But that's an event as well. Then you won't make the game because making it a blank screen is an event. But not the typ of event you really need. When I say event, I mean sidequests, when you meet new characters, fighting bosses and the final baddy, and the plot! The plot, I say! Plot: That'd be the biggest event of 'em all. Filled with the little plots that build me that brick castle. Try to be creative with the sidequests. It helps if these sidequests lead to the big quest and make it more interesting. Sometimes, you have no choice, but to accomplish the sidequests. Here's an example. The hero's name is... umm... let's call him Zeke. I like that name. And the companion is MaCarthur (I used that name in my first RM2K game "Circles of Power"): Zeke: May we pass? Toll keeper: No. MaCarthur: And why the heck not? Toll Keeper: 'Cause I said NO. Zeke: C'mon. There's gotta be some way we can pass. Toll Keeper: Tell ya what. You scratch my back and I scratch yours. Zeke: I'm not touchin' your back! Toll Keeper: Figure of speech, knucklehead. I mean, you get me a glass of water, I let you pass. Zeke: Okay. That's a sinch. Toll Keeper: And another thing. The water must come from the Foutain of Evil. MaCarthur: O-kay. Still sounds... easy... Toll Keeper: It's located in The Cave of No Return. Zeke: OKAY! THIS IS REDICULOUS! Why do you need water from there. Toll Keeper: (leans forward) 'Cause it's in the game script. Zeke: Oooohh... right, right. You don't have to make it like that. Give the toll keeper or whoever a reason to want water from the Fountain of Evil located in the Cave of No Return. Or whatever you want. That's what a good sidequest should make a person do. And the hero crew should have no choice, but to abide to the request. It's all simple. The hard part is thinking up the side quests. Events should happen often in your game. This is apart of the details process. It lengthens the game to make it more of a challenge. You don't want the people to zip through it with flying colors, do you? Make some events like there's a fair in town (which lead to minigames. Read below) or you must go into the woods to find a boy who was captured by a creature and there's a big reward for it's death. The creature. Not the boy. Heh. Don't even think that way! But that example is one event that doesn't nessesarily have to lead with the main storyline. You don't HAVE to do that event, but you can. It's all fun and games 'til a monster looses his eye. Or even worse... you loose your eye from staring at this screen too long, reading my bloody guide to good storylines. Yeesh. Ahem... now then... ---Mini Games! Yay!--- The RPG you make maybe not be all fun and games, but minigames make it great fun! You can make a card game, Find the Queen, coin toss or whatever. RM2K has many abilities with minigames and it all depends on the coding. I'm not sure about other RPG makers out there. Minigames can go with otehr types of games as well like adventure. You definately don't catch many tic tac toe games in Metal Gear Solid, I tell you what. And Minigames are not nessesary. I think you already knew that. But tehy are great fun and make a hard days journey wind down. You could of just finished battling the Beast of Incredible Power and have the erge to sit down with some of your best buds and play backgammon while sipping a cup of jo. Well, I don't know if you can program backgammon into RM2K, but you can make a mean coin toss! Oh yeah! I have a coin minigame in NightScape. You can play it at the Alificandist Fair when you go there. It's all fun and games, my friends. All fun and games. And I'll repeat myself. These are not that important, but they'll bring out the gaming spirit in the gamer when they just wanna take a break from the normal quests. Trust me. You'll want one.

Two of the imps leapt forward and Real jumped over their heads and striked them on the heads with his sword hilt. They collapsed to the ground in an instant. The King Imp looked down at his fallen warriors and grunted angrily. [B]King Imp:[/B] GET THEM! The imps immediatly followed command and flew at Real and Gersh. Gersh disappeared into his house and locked the door. Real was forced to keep guard of it so no imps entered. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real's Thoughts:[/B] Thanks a lot, Gersh. You brought me to a town of imps who attacked us and now your leaving me to fight them? What kind of selfish lith are yo- Just then, Gersh, that sneaky little lith, leapt from his window with a huge club and wonked five imps at once. Real was taken by surprise and was impaled by a swinging spear end. He took the blow to the gut and countered the attack by stabbing the imp in the chest. He didn't like it, but he had no choice. The King Imp watched as his warriors fought and fell in glorious battle. Some leader. Real was soon overrun by many, many imps and his sword Ragnarok couldn't take them all. Yes. Even Ragnarok. He shouted as he swung his sword which chopped off a imp's arm and another imp's ear. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] GERSH! A little help here! [B]Gersh:[/B] Gersh is on his way, yes yes. Gersh ran forward, and even at his size, he took out the remaining imps that assailed Real. Real grinned at Gersh before running his blade into two imp torsos at once. Gersh swung his club like a falchion and like it was small enough for him. He slammed it onto the heads of two imps, knocking them unconscious. He was strong and spiritfilled for a lith. [B]Gersh:[/B] You pay now! Gersh gettin' powerful! Real took out another imp with his blazing sword. He bellowed at Gersh without taking his eyes off the foes up ahead. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Gersh. Stay calm. [B]Gersh:[/B] Stay calm? STAY CALM? How can Gersh stay calm when Gersh in crazy fight? Real sighed and jumped up in the air, bringing his blade down into the skull of an unexpecting imp warrior. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Fine. But don't come crying to me when your anger gets the best of you. [B]Gersh:[/B] Alright. Gersh control himself. After that, Gersh not only took out five imps at once with his club; he took out seven! Real did the same with his blade as he concentrated more on the enemy and not on his hate. The Imp King became frustrated and slammed down his staff. A second line of imps charged all at once and Real and Gersh, once again, had their hands full. The King Imp grinned as Real and Gersh's fates looked grim. But yet again, Real's falchion Ragnarok and Gersh's wooden club with the mark "G" on it pulled them through the furious onslaught. [B]Gersh:[/B] This be Gersh's finest hour! And with that, he slammed his club down onto a imp sending him into ten more imps knocking them all down and richoeting into another group of unlucky imps. He leapt in the air as if doing a victory dance. The King Imp was furious right about now and slammed his staff down three times in a row. That's when the trouble brewed. Three lines of incredibly strong-looking imps stood forward and charged on the King's command. Real decided he should take drastic measures. He leapt into the tree behind him then jumped back down slashing off the heads of four unfortunate imps. The other imps stared in awe at the mess, but regained control just as quickly. They tackled Real in a fit of rage. Gersh swatted off the imps with his club like a flyswatter to some unwelcome houseflies. Real zoomed into the air in a mighty leap, leaving some imps with wounds where his sword struck them in that daring attempt of escape. He ran through the crowd swinging his sword accurately, even though it looked like he was clumsy enough to trip and stab his eye out. Gersh followed behind, taking the remaining imps out that Real didn't get. Not only was the Imp King angry as Hadies himself, but he was surprised at their skill. This wasn't something you'd just see anyday. Usually the imp warriors would be the victors if a prisoner was lucky enough to escape. Or if they were killed, were they lucky to escape? Hard to say. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] You okay back there, Gersh? Real hardly looked behind when he said that for he had things infront of him that could keep him occupied. [B]Gersh:[/B] Gersh swell. Though, imp blood splat on fur. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Yeah. That could get nasty. Real didn't actually enjoy killing the imps, but they insisted on killing him and it definately wasn't something you could talk about over a spot of tea, now is it? Things were looking up for the two. They proved great if they could take on a whole army of imps in a single swing of their sword or club. Combined, they were a team effort. There's no I in team. The imps soon surrounded the two as they became a circle. A small spot of ground was where the two stood. Back to back. No where to run. In deep crap. [B]Gersh:[/B] Gersh not liking this. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Be calm, Gersh. Remember? We have this made. We're safe if we know what we're doing. [B]Gersh:[/B] What we doing then? [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] I have not the slightest clue. [B]Gersh:[/B] We dead. [B]King Imp:[/B] GET THEM! The fight started all over again in an onslaught that could be recorded in imp, elf, and lith history books. This was just the beginning, but a foul beginning where the worlds of these three races surpass the others. Like before, things were looking good until Gersh made a stupid move. Thinking he could take on about twenty imps that surrounded him from all sides, he swung his club in a crazy circle like a mad man that had too much to drink. The imp looked curiously, then one was brave enough to thwack the club with his spear and send it flying into Gersh's face. Gersh wobbled as he began to loose consciousness. [B]Gersh:[/B] Gersh down. Gersh DOWN! He collapsed there and then. Real saw the whole thing and slaughtered all of the twenty imps that lay present to Gersh's accident. He then charged the others. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] You'll all pay for that! It was it. Real hit anger mode. He swung his sword like a untrained apprentice and sliced up all the remaining imps. He then turned to the shivering leader. Real wiped the blood that dripped from his mouth and shook his head; sweat flying from his hair. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] You want some? You want to end up like them? Do ya? The imp king held up his hands and shook them for mercy. [B]King Imp:[/B] Please! I didn't mean- [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] You meant very well. So come on. Let's see how tough of a leader you really are. The leader went from scared to a grin that swept his face from ear to ear. At least the ears that he had left. They looked like someone took a big bite out of them. [B]King Imp:[/B] Very well. Come get some. Real charged with that same hate except it was more packed in his heart than ever. He landed infront of the king, ready to strike when the imp leader swung a claw. Real leapt from the attack just in time and kicked the creature in the face. The imp leader was too small to take on Real. But that didn't stop him. The imp master started to laughed as he wiped the blood that dripped from his fresh wound on his forehead. [B]King Imp:[/B] Hahahahahaha! [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] What's so funny? [B]King Imp:[/B] Hahahahhahaha! [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] What? What is it? [B]King Imp:[/B] Hahahaha. Is that all you got? [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] What? You couldn't even take that first blow to the face. [B]King Imp:[/B] Trust me. That was nothing. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Yeah. Right. [B]King Imp:[/B] You pour sap. You poor, stupid sap. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Look who's talking. The grin disappeared and a frown took it's place. [B]King Imp:[/B] You slime bucket! You underestimate me! [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Really? What are you going to do? Gnaw on me? Your puny and you know it. Real wasn't usually this cruel, but people that hurt his friends pay dearly. Friend? Real had a friend! It may have been Gersh, but that limp little lith laying on the side lines was a true pal. He stuck up in battle. Real did have a friend. And he was going to defend it. Even if he was fighting a tiny imp king. [B]King Imp:[/B] Suit yourself. You don't believe me, it's your own downfall. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Let's see what you got. [B]King Imp:[/B] Very well. The grin returned and the imp king bent over as he started to shake. His back started to buldge and grow much larger as spikes emerged from it. His head enlarged as did hs arms and legs. He was becoming bigger! And stronger-looking. But was the looks just for trickery. Real didn't underestimate the chances of that. The imp king was now five times his size with a huge stomach that could store a few doubles of him. The imp king spoke, his voice now a lower tone matching his new form. [B]King Imp:[/B] Bring it, puny weakling. Look who's the small man now. Hahahahaha! I'll destroy you, then your lith friend over there. Hahaha! Like stabbing fish in a barrel! Real's angered returned with every rude insult that fat beast laid out. It was time to get dangerous. It was time to fight.

Hehe. Ah yes. Silly Jimmy. And stupid Arch. and funny Gavin. But enough of that. Episode 3 is on it's way. Expect it tomorrow. (To Shinobi) If I make my own thread of commercials, what would I use to entertain my people when reading K&L or Goatman? ^^ You obviously don't think the stories are the funny parts do you? It's all the commercials. JK. Hmm...

Alright. This episode takes a person that has sort of seen Beauty and the Beast before. And if you don't know who Mickey Rooney is, well, he's a short man. Her it is: [SIZE=4]Goatman[/SIZE] [SIZE=3]Episode 2 "The Goat's Out of the Bag Now"[/SIZE] Announcer: Sick of those other video games that entertain you. Kid: No. Announcer: Well, then you should get super Dario Brothers! Kid: Super Dario Brothers? Announcer: Yeah! It?s fun for the whole family! Kid: But it?s a one player ga- Announcer: (mumbles towards kid) Shut up! (normal tone) Now then, when you play this game, your Dario or Loogie his friend. Kid: Wow. How creative. Announcer: I know. Kid: How did they ever come up with that stuff. (sarcasm) Announcer: The goal of the game is to get through many levels and save Princess Pineapple from the dreaded Downer. Kid: Isn?t a downer a dru- Announcer: THAT?S RIGHT! What a great game! Kid: That?s it! This is a total rip off! The graphics are 5 bit too! You can hardly see the characters moving across that straight line or whatever it is! And Dario and Loogie are really Mario and Luigi. Princess Pineapple. Princess Peach. And Downer is a drug that was used for Bowser! Announcer: Don?t forget Roshi. Kid: AHHHH!!! Announcer: And that?s why YOU should get Super Dario Brothers. Coming to a Mintendo near you. [SIZE=1]Also available on Lameboy Advance. This is a Jabroni Production [/SIZE] Narrator: You sad, sad people. Returning to see another episode of Goatman. What?s wrong with you? You stupid or something? Were you brainwashed with last episode?s machine? GOD! Ahem? today we see Goat (Goatman?s identity outside his hero job) taking a walk to work. Goat: I?m taking a walk to work today. Narrator: And everyone in Town Town are so HAPPY. Even Arch Nemesis. Goat: Hm. Town Town sure is happy. Even Arch Ne- Narrator: Stop repeating me! Goat: Sorry. Narrator: Ahem. And so, Goat takes a walk to his job which he works for a cement factory. Wow. Some job. In the little town of Town Town, everyone was waking up to say: Man: Hello! Woman: Hello! Barber: Hello! Boy: Hello! Crook: Give me all your money. I mean? HELLO! (song starts in a form of Beauty and the Beast) Goat: There goes the robber with a some loot as always, the same of stuff he likes to steal. But in a morning just the same, the morning that HBO came, to our poor stupid cable TV. Book keeper: Morning, Goat. Where you off to? Goat: My job. Duh! Book Keeper: What?s the job this time? Mechanic? Goat: Cement Mixer. Book Keeper: Oh. I see. Want to get a book? Goat: Nah. Wait. Anything on grazing? Book Keeper: Why yes. (gives him the book and he gets paid) Goat: Thanks. (walks over to a fountain and sits on the ledge to read some of the book.) (sheep come over and look at the book) Sheep: (are eaten by a monster in the water) Goat: Oh my. I must get to work. Towns people: Look there he goes; that goat is strange no question. Something, something blah, blah, blah, blah! Goat: Oh cut it out! (runs down the road) Arch Nemesis: (watches from a tree) What?s with us and trees, General Wes? General Wes: Can?t say, sir. Arch Nemesis: Hm. Yes. Well? (puts down his binoculars) Let?s move out. (falls from tree) General Wes: (falls as well) Arch Nemesis: (shoves General Wes off him and gets up) I?ve decided the only way to stop Goatman is to join that singing crowd of happy townsfolk and he?ll surely come to us. General Wes: Right sir. Arch Nemesis: (joins the singing happy townsfolk) Guy: There must be more to this TV life! Arch Nemesis: Just watch! I?m going to make Goatman my wife! Everyone: Ewww? Arch Nemesis: Sorry. Sorry. Came out wrong. Let me start again. (clears his throat) Just watch! I?m going to make Goatman my captive! Guy: Yeah, but that doesn?t rhyme with life. Arch Nemesis: Well say something else so I can rhyme to that in my part of the song! Guy: Fine. There must be more that we want to live! Arch Nemesis: Just watch! I?m going to make Goatman my captive! Everyone: (pats his back and applauds) Arch Nemesis: I?m the man! Oh yeah! General Wes: You?re the man, sir. Arch Nemesis: Your right, General Wes. I am. Wait a minute? but the singing didn?t bring Goatman to me. Stupid people! Townsfolk: HEY! (kick him and beat him down) Arch Nemesis: Ow! Hey! Not the cape! NOT THE CAPE! OH NO!!! Narrator: As Arch was beaten down, Goat made it late to his new job and was fired. Now what was he going to do? Arch Nemesis: (is sitting in a tree) Where is he, General Wes? General Wes: Not to change the subject, sir, but should you be in a tree when you have a broken arm and leg and spinal cord injuries? Arch Nemesis: Nonsense, General Wes. You?re a worrywart. Worrywart: No! I?m Worrywart! Arch Nemesis: Right. Sorry. (turns back to General Wes) Trust me. There?s no safer place than a tree. (is suddenly stung by a thousand angry bees, attacked by rabid squirrels, mangled by monkeys, the tree branch he is sitting on was struck by lightning and he falls to the ground, the branch landing on him) Ow? Narrator: Goat may be able to escape from Arch even if Arch doesn?t know Goat is Goatman, but Arch will strike again. He managed to get back to his secret lair with a evil plan. Stay tuned after this commercial break to see what will happen next! Theme Song: I love eels because they?re so delicious! I?ve gone eeling! Announcer: That?s right kids. The new taste sensation is out. Tiny crackers in the shape of eels. Charlie: I found eel guts in one of the crackers. Are you sure they?re crackers. Announcer: Yes, I?m sure, Chuckie. Charlie: It?s Charlie. Announcer: Sure it is. (ruffles Charlie?s hair) And that?s why you gotta eat them. They?re so realistic and fun to play with. Lucy: Jimmy is being shocked by one. Announcer: Hahahaha. Kids and their imaginations these days. So buy new Eel cracker snacks and get a charge out of them! [SIZE=1]Jabroni Productions are not responsible if any child suffers a terrible side effect from the eels. No refunds neither.[/SIZE] Narrator: (is eating Eel cracker snacks) Mmm? shocking. And we?re back. Last we left off, Arch Nemesis and General Wes returned back to their base to plan out the evil plot storming in Arch?s head. Goat went home to watch TV. Arch Nemesis: Alright, General Wes. I have a plan that will help us capture Goatman and get his ONLY WEAKNESS so we can use it against him! General Wes: Really, sir. Arch Nemesis: Yes. Behold! (he takes a cloth off a big machine) OUR TIME MACHINE! General Wes: Wow. Are we gonna use that? Arch Nemesis: No. It?s just for kicks. The real object we?re using is this. (he takes out a small machine from his pocket) It makes anyone tell me what I want them to tell me. I call it my Truth-teller. General Wes: Creative sir. Arch Nemesis: Yes. Watch. (he points it at Wes and pushes the button) General Wes: (stands still like in zombie-mode) I wear pink underwear. Arch Nemesis: Hahahaha! (slaps knee) General Wes: Not funny. (he takes the gadget and uses it on Arch) Arch Nemesis: (stands stiff) I like eating my own boogers. General Wes: That?s sick, sir. Arch Nemesis: I was only kidding. That machine doesn?t tell the truth. General Wes: Sure sir. And I don?t wear pink underwear. Oh wait? DOH! Arch Nemesis: Now to test it! To the Nemesis-Mobile! General Wes: Wait, sir. Remember what happened last time? Arch Nemesis: Hmm? (goes into a flash back) Arch Nemesis: (frolicking with little gnomes in a garden of flowers) Hehe! (licks a giant lollipop and eats a big cookie) Mickey Rooney: (pops out and jumps about with him) (flash back ends) General Wes: What was that? That didn?t even happen. Arch Nemesis: Oh. That was my happy place. Wait. You could see that? General Wes: Well, yeah. It kind of erased the whole screen and played the flash back right before us. Arch Nemesis: Oh yeah? er? let?s just go. Narrator: And so they did. But will Goatman be able to escape this one? Will that machine reveal the truth? Does General Wes really wear pink undies? Find out after this commercial break! Jimmy: (playing with a toy robot) Announcer: Bet you think that toy is boring. Jimmy: AH! Where did you come from? Announcer: Well, say no more. I have an even better toy. Jimmy: Did you break in my house? The door was locked. Announcer: (takes the robot) Jimmy: Hey! Announcer: Here. Take this! (gives him a stick) Jimmy: A stick? Announcer: Not a stick. It?s THE stick! Fun for all! Jimmy: How can a stick be fun? Announcer: Why, you could sword fight, use it for a piñata, or even bugging your mother over a hot, burning stove. Jimmy: (tries to poke him with the stick) Announcer: (grabs the stick) Try it and suffer terribly. (turns back to audience) And so, everyone, THE stick is THE best present ever. Jimmy: Who you talking to? Announcer: Quiet. (smiles) Narrator: Now then? (puts down bag of Eels) Last we left off was where Goat was chilling in his home watching the tube when Arch and Wes busted in. Goat quickly put on his suit and became Goatman. Arch Nemesis: Did you see that, General Wes? General Wes: Sure did, sir. Arch Nemesis: He just hid that goat to protect it. Now we must fight him. General Wes: But your injuries. And why not use the machine. Arch Nemesis: Oh right. Machine. HA HA! (shoots it at Goatman) Goatman: (becomes stiff) I like cottage cheese. Arch Nemesis: Well, who doesn?t? General Wes: I don?t, sir. Arch Nemesis: No one asked you. Goatman: Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago? Arch Nemesis: I could ask the same thing. Goatman: My ONLY WEAKNESS is? Arch Nemesis: Yes? Yes?? Goatman: Is? Arch Nemesis: What? What is it? (machine turns off and Goatman is free) What the? Machine: Batteries low. Batteries low. Arch Nemesis: Darn it all! I knew I shouldn?t of chose Mega-Batt Batteries instead of Energizer. Uh oh. Goatman: Ragh! (beats them up) Narrator: Even though Arch and Wes were able to escape, they were badly injured and didn?t get back their Truth Device. But what Goatman found on the device was a command where the person they used it on said what the user wanted to hear. Uh oh. Where?s Goat going with that machine. Sign on Building: ?Important-Looking building with Important-Looking people who get paid a lot? Manager: I will give Goat a job here. In fact, he?s now Vice President. Goat: Hehe. (waves Truth Device) Narrator: Silly Goat. THE END This show was brought to you by the makers of Jabroni Paste: The toothpaste that makes your teeth shine a greenish color. And it tastes like Jabroni goodness. Mmm mm. Get some today! (teeth pings)

Real wriggled with the ropes that held him and Gersh to the long wooden poles emerging out of the native soil. Gersh began gnawing them, but even his teeth were too dull to cut through ropes like these. Imps were sure crafty. Real spoke as he continued with his work on the ropes. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] What did they mean "we knew too much". What is there to know? They have a discount on white candles at that shop? [B]Gersh:[/B] Gersh not sure. Imps may be neighbors, but no talkie between them and lithes. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real's Thoughts:[/B] Terrific. He watched what the imps did. Some were jumping around a huge bonfire as if they were dancing. They held torches that they tore from that very fire and swung it dangerously near Real and Gersh. Real began to sweat. Soon, some imps came out of their houses with wooden cups of cordial and then bread on a platter. Who knew Imps drank cordial? Who knew they danced? The dancing and the fires and the drinks and all of it! It was like a celebration! Oh no. A celebration! Real thought of the creepy things they could be holding this party for. And it wasn't a welcome party or a baby shower. It may be a big fat feast and Real was the main platter. Gersh was probably a side dish or an appetizer. Real shook his head and told himself not to think of such things. The imps waved their torches for a few minutes before leaping up onto platforms and doing a certain dance. Real disliked the dance and grunted at it. A nearby guard poked him with his spear shaft and Real straightened. Thank goodness the guard was too into the dance to notice Real's squirming or, in other words, escaping. Gersh kept at the ropes as the celebration came to a halt. A big, obese imp stood on the top platform before a podium. He grinned over his audience, then growned upon Real and Gersh. He had a big pendant and a crown of some sort. He must've been royalty. [B]King Imp:[/B] Fellow Imps... The imps stood attention. [B]King Imp:[/B] These... these creatures! He said it in a manner that displeased Real very much. It was almost ruthless, even. [B]King Imp:[/B] We do not like ELVES and LITHES, now do we? A big NO rained over the crowd. [B]King Imp:[/B] They shall suffer the imps and wish they never had come here! [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Grrr... [B]Crowd: YEAH![/B] [B]Gersh:[/B] Yeah! [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Gersh! Real shot Gersh a glare and Gersh went back to gnawing. [B]King Imp:[/B] Then suffer, they shall. A huge applaud and cheers swept the tree village like a big broom on a dusty floor. The happy imps went back to dancing and drinking and eating while the king stepped down to join his people. They lit their torches again and marched towards their prisoners. But something took them by surprise. Real and Gersh were gone. The ropes were gnawed. The guard stood in awe. The King approuched the guard and glared. He towered over the small imp. [B]King Imp:[/B] You let them escape. How could you miss them? That elf is bigger than even me! The lith is hairier than any one of us except Dylan. He's way hairy. The guard studdered. [B]Guard:[/B] I'm sor-sorry, sir! [B]King Imp:[/B] That's okay. The king walked away, but turned around to deliver a smack from his club to the head of the guard. The imp crowd ran down the path following Real and Garth. The guard lay dead in his tracks. Real and Gersh soon found their way back to Gersh's place and hid in there. Turning off the lights and the fireplace and only lighting a candle, they found themselves quite incognito. The imps were stupid, even the king and they passed the house off as a regular tree like the rest of 'em. Real and Gersh were safe. Real wiped his forehead and talked in a low tone in case some imps were investigating the premesis. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Phew! Close call. Good work with the ropes. Gersh smiled. [B]Gersh:[/B] I only chew first rope to free arms. Your sword do the rest. Real pulled out Ragnarok and shined it with a cloth from his pack. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] She is a bute. My father gave it to me. [B]Gersh:[/B] Fa-ther? Real gasped. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Oh. Sorry. Forgot. Lithes don't have parents. [B]Gersh:[/B] What are these... parents? [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] Nevermind. So how would lithes be born anyways? [B]Gersh:[/B] Gersh just appear from sky. When lithes little, they fall from sky. They have blanket of skin that floats them to ground so they don't go SPLAT! With that last word, Gersh banged the floor. The imps heard and came rushing in. They broke down the door with their spears and pointed them at Real and Gersh. [B]Imp:[/B] Your coming with us. Real stood up and walked out of the tree house. He unsheathed Ragnarok once more. [IMG]http://www.itsmysite.com/n-sider/images/Real_Avatar.gif [/IMG] [B]Real:[/B] I was hoping it didn't come to this.