Dragon Warrior

[left] [b]Meanwhile?[/b] [IMG]http://img178.exs.cx/img178/1918/post217xx.jpg[/img] ?Sir, the demon is approaching them as we speak,? Bob informed his master. Lord Vill Lun was busy messing with mp3s on Kazaa. ?Uh huh. Sure, the camel.? ?Are you even listening?? ?I heard you. The salad dressing expired. I?ll pick some more up tomorrow if I go to the store. I do not wanna make two trips.? ?That?s not even relevant to what I said.? Bob sighed and exited the room, leaving Vill Lun to play with his computer. He clicked a link and was suddenly jumped by millions of ads. [img]http://img178.exs.cx/img178/9929/post225pk.jpg[/img] ?Eegad! Ads! They must be here to conquer me, just like those dastardly heroes!? Vill Lun unsheathed his sword and grimaced at the screen. ?No matter. DIE!? There was a loud explosion and some talk of a lamb in a box of Furbies. Bob B. Bob rushed back into the room. ?You okay, Lord Vill Lun?? [img]http://img178.exs.cx/img178/865/post235ou.jpg[/img] ?I?m fine,? the evil doer mumbled under burnt rubble. ?I hate doing time fillers.? ?Indeed, sir.? ?I want to go on vacation while the heroes get maimed.? ?Good idea, sir.? ?Let?s go to a nice tropical island.? ?Like that blue piece of construction paper over there, sir?? ?Eh?? ?Oh yeah. You don?t know we?re drawn. What I meant to say was, like that one over there?? [img]http://img178.exs.cx/img178/5984/post243my.jpg[/img] ?Quite right. Off we go!? So off they went to the tropical island to relax away from their evil fortress. But what of the heroes? [/left]

[b]Oblivior got his lunch from the blob monster lunch lady and had a seat next to Druik.[/b] [b]Oblivior:[/b] So, did you shag her? [b]Druik:[/b] Who? [b]Oblivior:[/b] Sally. [b]Druik:[/b] Who? [b]Oblivior:[/b] Sally I?m-Frickin-Hott. [b]Druik:[/b] Who? [b]Oblivior:[/b] Paper cups. [b]Druik:[/b] Ohhhh, Sally! Right. No, no, I didn?t. [b]Oblivior:[/b] When are you? [b]Druik:[/b] When I put my evil scheme into action, damnit! [b]Oblivior:[/b] When is that? [b]Druik:[/b] In good time. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Dude, we?re in last hour right now. [b]Druik:[/b] No we?re not. We?re at lunch. [b]Oblivior:[/b] We just came back from our field trip to the EVIL CARDBOARD BOX FACTORY? and we had to eat lunch late, so they gave us this hour to do it. If you?re gonna shag her, you have to go to her now. [b]Druik:[/b] Hmm? you talk crazy, but I like crazy talk because that?s what I was born for. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Eh? [b]Druik:[/b] Watch me! (flies over to Sally and her boyfriend) Sally I?m-Frickin-Hott, I?m gonna shag you. [b]Sally:[/b] I?m with my boyfriend. [b]Druik:[/b] Fine. I guess I can bend a little. Besides, threesomes are hot. [b]Later?[/b] [b]Oblivior:[/b] I don?t care what they say? this mystery meat is yummmm-y! [b]Druik:[/b] (stumbles over all beaten and bloody) Ohhh? where?d she get a missile? [b]Oblivior:[/b] (looks in Druik?s direction) OMG! (knocks Druik over and runs to the poster on the wall) N?Sync is in town! [b]Druik:[/b] Umm? hello? Bleeding to death here. And N?Sync doesn?t exist yet. These are the 80?s. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Oh, right. (kicks Druik) Whaaaaat. [b]Druik:[/b] I have ouchies ;_; [b]Oblivior:[/b] What happened? Was she really rough or something? [b]Druik:[/b] Her boyfriend was. [b]Oblivior:[/b] DUUUUUUDEEEE! Sick! [b]Bully:[/b] Fag! (punches Druik) [b]Druik:[/b] Ohhh? my poor kidney. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Dude, you didn?t? [b]Druik:[/b] No! Her boyfriend beat me up for trying. That?s it. I?m not trying for girls anymore. [b]Oblivior:[/b] (covers himself) You?re not flipping the line are you? [b]Druik:[/b] Flipping the line? [b]Oblivior:[/b] You know? changing? sexuality. [b]Druik:[/b] NO! God, what?s with this story and gay jokes? [b]Bell:[/b] Ring sounds! Druik?s Gay! [b]Later, on the bus?[/b] [b]Oblivior:[/b] You should get revenge on Sally. [b]Druik:[/b] Yeah. She hates beetles. I?ll send her a box of beetles. [b]Oblivior:[/b] You can give them to her at that one concert. I hear she?s riding the tour bus there. [b]Druik:[/b] No, she?s riding the yellow submarine. [b]Oblivior:[/b] She?s got a ticket to ride? [b]Druik:[/b] And we don?t care. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Whose concert is it? [b]Druik:[/b] Sgt. Pepper?s Lonely Heart Club Band. [b]Oblivior:[/b] O? kay. [b]Druik:[/b] Yep. They?ll play while my guitar gently weeps. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Can we please stop with the Beatles jokes? [b]Druik:[/b] Fine. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Some of them the readers might not even get. [b]Druik:[/b] I like the Beatles. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Because you?re gay. [b]Druik:[/b] What? [b]Oblivior:[/b] I dunno. [b]Bell:[/b] Druik?s Gay. [b]Druik:[/b] There?s no bell on the bus. That doesn?t even make sense. [b]Later, when Druik got home?[/b] [b]Druik:[/b] Phone :^D (calls Sally) [b]Phone:[/b] Ringing sounds? ringing sounds? Druik?s gay? [b]Druik:[/b] OKAY, STOP IT ALREADY! [b]Sally:[/b] Like, hello? [b]Druik:[/b] Hiiiii. [b]Sally:[/b] Erm, hi. [b]Druik:[/b] My name is Druik and I like gay porn. [b]phone:[/b] Hung up sounds? [b]Druik:[/b] I think I went about that the wrong way. [b]We?re ending this part because it?s getting? too? creepy?[/b]

[b]Hurbert:[/b] Now we fight >:^O [b]Uhh? excuse me? I haven?t narrated yet.[/b] [b]Hubert:[/b] Eh? [b]I always start narrating before anyone says anything.[/b] [b]Hubert:[/b] You didn?t in part I. [b]Druik:[/b] He?s got a point. [b]Shut up and die![/b] [b]Hubert:[/b] (dies) Ow :< [b]Druik:[/b] Good. Now I can hunt down Lawyerton and destroy him for his insolence! [b]Furlin:[/b] This plot is getting us nowhere. Why, a couple of parts ago we were supposed to save a sandwich that was possessed by demons. Since then, I?ve been killed, you?ve been maimed, we both had to endure the journey here, we?ve almost been slain by a whiny dragon, screwed over by a stupid lawyer with the unoriginal name Lawyerton, and I still haven?t sued you >:^O [b]Druik:[/b] You have a funny voice :^D [b]Furlin:[/b] You?re hopeless! [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] Druik? [b]Druik:[/b] God? [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] No, it?s me. Malkore. [b]Druik:[/b] I didn?t know your real name is Malkore. [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] No, I?m not God. I?m the sandwich, remember? [b]Druik:[/b] If you can be anything you want, why are you a sandwich, God? [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] I?m NOT God! Okay?! I?m your lord and master, the evil sandwich? [b]Druik:[/b] Uhhhh? [b]Furlin:[/b] Paper cups. [b]Druik:[/b] Ohhhh? Malkore! [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] Oh, boy? ahem? WHY HAVEN?T YOU SAVED ME YET?! [b]Druik:[/b] I?ve been playin? :^D [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] Well, stop playing and get your bloody ass over here. [b]Druik:[/b] My ass is bleeding? :^O [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] Oh, for cryin? out? grrr? just come to the school. [b]Druik:[/b] Otay. Maybe I can check out the cheerleaders. [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] Whatever you want. You can see all the girls you want, just get over here. [b]Druik:[/b] Girls? They have girl cheerleaders? [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] O.o [b]Furlin:[/b] o.O [b]Druik:[/b] :^D~~ [b]Malkore?s Voice:[/b] Riiiiight? get over here and save me. [b]Druik:[/b] Cool. I like telepathy :3 [b]Furlin:[/b] You?ve gotta be the stupidest guy ever. [b]Druik:[/b] Thank you! [b]And so, the two left the building and traveled to Cityville?s market place where who should they bump into at the ?magazine rack? but?[/b] [b]Druik:[/b] There you are! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Uhh? I wasn't reading naughtiness? [b]Druik:[/b] ? :< [b]Furlin:[/b] I still wanna sue Druik. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Too bad. I stopped being a lawyer. [b]Furlin:[/b] What in God?s Green Goodness are you talking about?! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Now I sell cocaine :^D [b]Druik:[/b] Will you change your name to Cocaineton? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] No. But maybe. Nah. Perhaps. No way. Meh. [b]Furlin:[/b] So? I need a new lawyer? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] I?d assume so. [b]Furlin:[/b] Fine. I?ll be back with a lawyer then! (runs off into the porn store) [b]Druik:[/b] Uhh? that?s the- [b]Furlin:[/b] I know. [b]And so, Lawyerton the Cocaine Dealer and Druik the Deviant traverse to Cityville?s local high school ?STDs High.?[/b] [b]Druik:[/b] Ahhh? I remember my school days in? er? school. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Oh, damnit! Here comes a flashback! [B][I]FLASHBACKNESS![/b][/I] [b]It?s the 80?s and everyone?s lookin? good? aside from that loser Druik.[/b] [b]Druik:[/b] Fear me, my peers! For I am Druik the Delinquent. Mu-hehehehehehehe! [b]Bully:[/b] Shut up, loser. (kicks Druik in the shin) [b]Bell:[/b] Ringing sounds! [b]Druik:[/b] Excellent. Time for first hour. I can have an evil moment in there, for it is chemistry! [b]Later, when Druik got into Chemistry?[/b] [b]Mr. Pierce:[/b] And so, you pour the demon ashes into the sulfuric acid and voila! (an explosion) You have now resurrected the anti-christ. [b]Druik:[/b] Sweeeet. [b]Oblivior:[/b] Hey, Druik. You got the answers for the math test? [b]Druik:[/b] AHEM? [b]Oblivior:[/b] (sighs) Do you have the answers for the EVIL math test? [b]Druik:[/b] No, but join my army of the damned and you?ll never take another math class again. Mu-hehehehehehe! [b]Bully:[/b] Dude, shut up! (punches Druik) [b]Druik:[/b] Ohhh, mother of? [b]Mr. Pierce:[/b] Attention, bitches? I mean, class. We have a new student today. Her name is Sally I?m-Frickin-Hott. [b]Druik:[/b] (love) Love :3

[b]There was a dripping from leaking faucets echoing through the what-seemed-to-be deserted locker room. The odor of shampoo wafted through the air. Damn, I?m good at narrating. [I]CRASH![/I][/b] [b]Druik:[/b] (girlish scream) Who?s there?! [b]Silence.[/b] [b]Druik:[/b] Stand back. I?ve got a? (reaches into his pocket) ? butterscotch candy? [b]???:[/b] Oh, no, he could give us tooth decay. [b]Druik:[/b] Eegad! Someone?s there! [b]Suddenly, numerous hot adult lawyer babes materialized through the mists.[/b] [b]Druik:[/b] Sweeeet. [b]Meanwhile, outside the locker room?[/b] [b]Lawyerton:[/b] I wonder what?s taking him so long. [b]Furlin:[/b] (crawls out of the elevator) Oh, good God that hurt! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Holy basket-weaving! Who are you? [b]Furlin:[/b] (stands up weakly) Name?s Furlin the Furry White Mage. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] You look awful. [b]Furlin:[/b] I was killed. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Er? [b]Furlin:[/b] I?m a white mage. I just resurrected myself. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Then why don?t you heal yourself? [b]Furlin:[/b] I dunno ;_; [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Do it! [b]Furlin:[/b] (heals himself) Aww? I should?ve did that way back in the fields before I made the journey here. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Why are you here? [b]Furlin:[/b] I?m here to sue the person that killed me. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Who might that be? [b]Furlin:[/b] Druik the Deviant. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Holy Grandma?s Buttered Biscuits! Druik did that to you? [b]Furlin:[/b] Yes. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] All those maims and wounds? [b]Furlin:[/b] Well, he did the chest scratch. The rest are from me kinda falling into a rose garden with rabid squirrels. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Oh, those squirrels sure are rabid this time of the year. [b]Furlin:[/b] Yeah. (clears throat) That?s why I?m suing. Wanna help? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Meh. Okay. But let him finish doing this favor for me first. [b]Furlin:[/b] He?s here? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Yeah. He?s in the girls? locker room. [b]Furlin:[/b] With girl lawyers? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Yep. [b]Furlin:[/b] Brave soul. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] That?s what I said. [b]Furlin:[/b] Well, it doesn?t change my mind. He?s still getting sued. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Alrightio. [b]Furlin:[/b] Good. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Yep. [b]Furlin:[/b] Indeed. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Yessir. [b]Furlin:[/b] ? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] ? [b]Furlin:[/b] Hm. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Ahem. [b]Furlin:[/b] Right. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] This is uncomfortable. [b]Furlin:[/b] The silence? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] No. I?m sitting on the company mascot? a porcupine. [b]Furlin:[/b] Why?s a porcupine the mascot? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Because we take our business by the horns! [b]Furlin:[/b] But porcupines have quills. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Ah, but that?s where you?re-wait? damn. (throws the porcupine out the window) He shouldn?t be long now. [b]Furlin:[/b] Good. I want my money. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] I like suing :^D [b]Furlin:[/b] Think we could win the court case? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] With me, you could win the lottery! [b]Furlin:[/b] That metaphor sucked. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] It wasn?t a metaphor. I?m serious. I?ve rigged the lottery a million times. [b]Furlin:[/b] Really, now. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Yes. [b]Furlin:[/b] Intriguing. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Perhaps. [b]Druik:[/b] (flushing sounds, walks out of the locker room) Thanks, ladies. [b]Furlin/Lawyerton:[/b] DRUIK! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] You made it out alive. [b]Druik:[/b] Yeah. I bange-I mean? I killed ?em all. Yep. That?s what I did? in bed. [b]Furlin:[/b] Well, now I?m suing you! [b]Druik:[/b] Hey, you?re dead. [b]Furlin:[/b] I got better. [b]Druik:[/b] You can?t get better when you die. Once you die, you die. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] He?s a white mage. [b]Druik:[/b] Even so? a white mage can?t cast a resurrecting spell when he/she is already dead! [b]Furlin:[/b] Don?t make this anymore confusing for the readers. You?re befuddling them. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] I think it?s you, Furlin, who is confusing them. You and your big words like befuddling. [b]Furlin:[/b] Well, you guys are being stupid. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] There?s yet another big word. Stupid. [b]Furlin:[/b] O.o [b]Druik:[/b] Look, there?s bound to be a simple way to solve this. [b]Furlin/Lawyerton:[/b] DIE! (both jump at Druik) [b]Druik:[/b] Oh, my panties! [b]Suddenly a dragon comes crashing through the wall and roars.[/b] [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Hubert, I told you not to break down walls. Shouldn?t you be napping? [b]Hubert:[/b] I want some warm milk :< [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Fine. Do you have your teddy? [b]Hubert:[/b] I think he fell under the bed. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Get it out. [b]Hubert:[/b] But there?s monsters under there ;_; [b]Lawyerton:[/b] You?re a bloody dragon! [b]Druik:[/b] Dragon?! That must be the dragon you promised to let me slay if I got you this sock! (holds up sock) [b]Hubert:[/b] You wha? ;_; [b]Lawyerton:[/b] (grabs sock) Yoink! (runs down an empty elevator shaft) [b]Hubert:[/b] No one?s slaying anyone! But me slaying you! [b]Furlin:[/b] Oh, for the love of Final Fantasy? [b]Sounds like an epic battle coming. Better stay tuned and read the next part. When I bother writing it ;^D[/b]

[b]Now, boys and girls, the battle between Furlin the Furry White Mage and Druik the Deviant shall commence![/b] [b]Druik:[/b] Actually, on second thought, I don?t wanna fight :< [b]Furlin:[/b] What?! You have no choice! [b]Druik:[/b] Nah, I think I?ll just go. [b]Furlin:[/b] You can?t just leave the battlefield, especially since you agreed to a duel with me. [b]Druik:[/b] I?d waste you. [b]Furlin:[/b] You can?t even cast a spell. [b]Druik:[/b] I have my sword. [b]Furlin:[/b] What, that antique? [b]Druik:[/b] It was my father?s ;_; [b]Furlin:[/b] That just proves it?s crap! [b]Druik:[/b] ;_; [b]Furlin:[/b] I?m sorry :^( [b]Druik:[/b] (slays Furlin) Ha ha! You?re a big stupid face. You let your guard down. Booyah. Druik?s in the house. [b]Furlin:[/b] Ow, I?m dead ;_; [b]Druik:[/b] Now I must? uhh? I forgot what my quest was. [b]Hobo:[/b] You have to save Mal- [b]Druik:[/b] Ah, yes! I remember now. I have to slay the evil dragon that lives in that building in Cityville. (wanders off) [b]Hobo:[/b] No, you idiot! Oh, who needs ye. I?m not even sure why I?m here. [b]And so, Druik the Deviant traversed into Cityville where he found a large building? for lawyers.[/b] [b]Druik:[/b] What devil?s work is this? [b]???:[/b] Fullo, Druik the Deviant. This is the evil lawyer?s building. [b]Druik:[/b] Ho noes :^O [b]???:[/b] Ho yes? er? I mean, yes, it?s true. (steps into the light) Behold, for I am Lord Lawyerton. [b]Druik:[/b] What kind of lame name is that?! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] It?s a good name. [b]Druik:[/b] It sucks. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] My mom chosed me this name. [b]Druik:[/b] Chosed? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Chose. Sorry. I don?t know where that D came from. [b]Druik:[/b] Let me pass. I have to slay the dragon. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Dragon? What are you-ohhhh! Right. Yeah, we have a dragon, don?t we. [b]Druik:[/b] I wanna killerz it. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] You can?t. [b]Druik:[/b] Why? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Because we like him. [b]Druik:[/b] He?s a dragon. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Yeah, and he ate my daughter. So what? I?m not on trial here. [b]Druik:[/b] Look, I need to slay the dragon to save this world. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Aren?t you trying to destroy the world? [b]Druik:[/b] Don?t change the subject. You must let me pass? now! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Not without a fight. [b]Druik:[/b] Oh, come off it. I just finished two fights, not including an incident in the girls? locker room. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Good God, man. You didn?t just- [b]Druik:[/b] I did. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] You brave soul. Not many men have frolicked into the depths of the girls? locker room and survived. [b]Druik:[/b] Well, I am sexy. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Perhaps. I?ll cut you a deal. [b]Druik:[/b] Aww? I want the whole deal. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Wha? [b]Druik:[/b] No cutting >:^O [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Er? right. Fine, I?ll make you a deal. [b]Druik:[/b] Oh, so I can?t have an old one? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Will you shut up?! [b]Druik:[/b] Oh, so now I have to shut up, huh? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Be quiet! (sighs) The deal is that you go into our girls? locker room and retrieve an item of extreme value for me and I?ll let you slay the dragon. [b]Druik:[/b] Sounds fair. [b]Hobo:[/b] You?re supposed to go save some sandwich possessed by a demon. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Be gone. (casts a fire spell on the hobo, which turns it into a Mountain Dew can) Do you accept? [b]Druik:[/b] I s?pose so. [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Good. Then you best be off. The girls? locker room is on the eight-hundredth floor. [b]Druik:[/b] Yay! Elevator time! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] O.o [b]Druik:[/b] Now I can sing the [I]Elevator Song! Hop in an elevator! Enjoy the ride up! Hop in an elevator! I love Folgers in my cup! Hop in an elevator! Havin? fun goin? down! I feel like pukin?! I made a mess on the ground! La la la! Elevator! La la la! Magic pencil![/I] [b]Lawyerton:[/b] (punches Druik) Shut up and go! [b]And so, Druik the Deviant leapt into the nearest elevator and went to the eight-hundredth floor. Little did he know, the girls? locker room of the Evil Lawyer Building was filled with a lot more than just girls? it had girl lawyers![/b] [b]Druik:[/b] Girl lawyers? No way am I going in there! [b]Lawyerton:[/b] You must. You?re our only hope, Obi Wan. [b]Druik:[/b] What? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Druik. [b]Druik:[/b] I can?t? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Then you can?t slay our dragon. [b]Druik:[/b] Ohhh? fine. What am I retrieving? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] A sock. [b]Druik:[/b] Which sock? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] It doesn?t matter. [b]Druik:[/b] Why do you need a sock? [b]Lawyerton:[/b] I HAVE MY OWN REASONS! [b]Druik:[/b] Okay, okay ;_; [b]Lawyerton:[/b] Good luck, baby ;^D [b]Druik:[/b] I?m a guy ;_; [b]Lawyerton:[/b] I know ;^D [b]Druik:[/b] O.o; [b]And so, Druik entered the foulest place he has entered thus far?[/b]

[center] [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/ft-title.jpg[/img][/center] [left] Lord Vill Lun was flabbergasted. ?What in the name of stencils is going on? Since when were there heroes in Domking? That place sucked!? Vill Lun paced to and fro near his throne while his number one servant, Bob B. Bob, watched in anguish. [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/post1-1.jpg[/IMG] ?Might I suggest something, sire?? Bob B. Bob asked. ?Whaaaaat?? Vill Lun whined. ?Perhaps you can sick your entire army of really strong monsters and stuff on the heroes all at once, so they have a zero percent chance of surviving the assailment.? ?No!? Vill Lun scolded. ?That?s what all the villains do in these types of stories.? ?No,? disagreed Bob, ?actually, all the villains are stupid and send out their weakest monsters first and gradually send out their stronger ones while the heroes grow stronger off of them.? ?What a brilliant scheme,? Lord Vill Lun said, adjusting his horn. ?I shall do just that!? ?No, wait, sire!? Bob shouted, following his master into the next chamber. ?I seriously think you should reconsider.? [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/post1-2.jpg[/IMG] ?Whyness?? Vill Lun pouted. ?I?m the evil guy here. I can do what I want!? ?You?re acting like a child again, sir.? ?And?? ?And that?s immature.? ?I?ll immature your mom!? ?Very adult, sir,? Bob muttered sarcastically. Vill Lun began picking through his clothes until he found his cape. He then tied it around his neck and showed off to Bob. ?What do ye think, eh?? ?Stylish, sire.? [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/post1-3.jpg[/IMG] ?Good. I like to look frickin? sweet when I destroy stuff.? He then made his way to a balcony in that very room and addressed the huge army that awaited his command. Bob followed close behind. ?Big army of peoples and stuff,? began Vill Lun, ?I have summoned you so you may give the heroes ouchies and booboos. They plan on thwarting my schemes to take over this land. Domking must be ours!? A loud grunt erupted from the paper. Vill Lun was confused by what this meant. ?Right. I don?t speak Canadian.? Bob took a chance to correct his lord. ?Sir, they?re orcs. They don?t speak our language.? [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/post1-4.jpg[/IMG] ?Yeah, they speak Canadian.? ?No, sir. Canadians don?t even have their own la-? ?I always wanted to go to Canada.? ?Sir, they?re not speaking Canadian.? ?They?re speaking Spanish?? ?No.? ?Then they must be speaking Canadian.? ?Canadians don?t have a language. They have a dialect.? ?Don?t get stereotypical on me, Bob. I know what I?m talking about.? ?I?m sure none of those orcs down there are Canadian.? ?I am, aye!? ?Shut up,? Bob scolded. Vill Lun put his attention to the orcs again. ?I don?t care what you are or how you talk. As long as you find the heroes within the next few posts and destroy them!? The loud grunt resonated once again before the group moved out down the crappily drawn road. Vill Lun chuckled deviously as he watched his army pass into the sunset. Unfortunately, they all burned up in the sun once they reached the horizon. ?Oh, for the love of artgum!? ?Sir, why don?t you send this evil demon after them?? Bob suggested, pointing to an evil demon that just so happened to be chained up in that very room. [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/post1-5.jpg[/IMG] ?Meh, otay.? And so, they released the demon out of the castle, which flew through the air like a bullet and chopped the wind like? something? that chops. Indeed, the heroes are screwed. [/left]

I write differently. When I write, it's usually on something not normally written about. I pick up unusual words and use them or fascinating terms like "holy water" and "balladeer." My inspiration is by something new and intriguing to me whether it's an uncanny picture or a bizarre word. I also like to write in riddles, so sometimes my work sounds cool, but you won't understand what I'm saying. It also helps the fact that I write songs as well as the music on my guitar or piano. But that's just my style.

The behind-the-scenes stuff is amazing. I simply love it. But that's why I'm all sad-like because there's no more to watch :P If I was old enough to be in the film (since I want to be an actor), I'd so be attached to the production of that thing--that is, if I were in it :^D

I cannot deny my public. I?m having fun with this stupid thing anyways. [b]Last we left off, Malkore the evil and demonic sandwich was whisked away by a little boy who planned on using him for his science fair project. Druik was too busy bleeding to death to figure this out. But suddenly?[/b] [b]???:[/b] Hey? HEY! Wake up. [b]Druik:[/b] Appendix? lodged in? esophagus? [b]???:[/b] Oh, come off it. You were hit over the head with one of those foam fingers. [b]Druik:[/b] But? [b]???:[/b] Oh, for the love of Albert Einstein! (casts a healing spell) There, ye wuss. [b]Druik:[/b] Powers returning? evil laugh bellowing in throat? MUHAHAHAHA! Druik the Deviant has returned to power! [b]???:[/b] Oh, no you don?t. You can?t start that crap again. [b]Druik:[/b] Huh? Who are you and what are you talking about? [b]???:[/b] I am Furlin, the furry magician, and I just healed you so you could go save your lord and master, Malkore. [b]Druik:[/b] Mal-who? [b]Furlin:[/b] Malkore. [b]Druik:[/b] Who? [b]Furlin:[/b] The sandwich. [b]Druik:[/b] Eh? [b]Furlin:[/b] Made of olive loaf. [b]Druik:[/b] Ohhhh? Balkore! [b]Furlin:[/b] Malkore. [b]Druik:[/b] Malkore! [b]Furlin:[/b] God, you?re an idiot. Now listen, your master has been taken by some snot-nosed kid named Charley to the local science fair in Cityville. Go there and save him. [b]Druik:[/b] Awww? I don?t wanna. [b]Furlin:[/b] You must. I shall accompany you on your journey. [b]Druik:[/b] Wait, why are you helping? [b]Furlin:[/b] Er? umm? I don?t have a dark past of secrets >.> [b]Druik:[/b] Righto! Onward! [b]So Furlin and Druik the Deviant traveled onward to Cityville where they could get Malkore back. But little did they know, a bridge was in their way. And on that bridge, a toll was in their way. And with that toll, a toll troll was in the way.[/b] [b]Troll:[/b] I?m a troll :^D~~ [b]Furlin:[/b] You there! Troll! Let us pass. [b]Troll:[/b] Or what? You?ll heal my papercut? You?re a bloody white mage! [b]Druik:[/b] I?ll devour your soul, so it?ll spend an eternity with the other damned souls of this universe and be tortured for the rest of its days. [b]Troll:[/b] Meh. [b]Druik:[/b] Meh? Never got that reaction before. [b]Furlin:[/b] It?s because you suck. [b]Druik:[/b] ;_; [b]Troll:[/b] The toll is 2,374,89-7571,85782,7341=4839`484nm,c`1823812,c,m209= dollars. [b]Druik:[/b] You're lucky I carry loose change >:^o (reaches for wallet) [b]Furlin:[/b] Druik, no, you fool! Pay this man and maybe the next innocent travelers behind us will have to pay every time they come here. [b]Darth Vader:[/b] Yeah, I have to destroy Rebel scum, biatch! [b]Druik:[/b] Awww? but I wanted to use my new credit card :< [b]Furlin:[/b] We?ll go to the toy store later. [b]Druik:[/b] Fine. (To Troll) Troll, I challenge you to a duel! [b]Troll:[/b] Frickin? aweshum! I haven?t had a good fight in a chicken?s age. [b]Furlin:[/b] Chicken?s age? [b]Druik:[/b] Meh. [b]Troll:[/b] (takes his club out of the tollhouse) Here we are. [b]Druik:[/b] (screams like a girl) Tollhouse?! I love Tollhouse cookies! [b]Furlin:[/b] Will you shut up and just fight? [b]Druik:[/b] No, you shut up! You?re not even a main character. [b]Furlin:[/b] I am too! [b]Druik:[/b] Why isn?t your name in the title, huh? [b]Furlin:[/b] The writer didn?t wanna ruin my awesome entrance >:^O [b]Druik:[/b] Dat?s a lie! [b]Troll:[/b] Uhh? should I come back? [b]Furlin:[/b] It is not a lie! Your mom lied when she said the milkman wasn?t your daddy! [b]Druik:[/b] What?! The mailman [I]isn?t[/I] my father? ;_; [b]Troll:[/b] I could just? ye know? uhh... go over here if you guys are gonna do this. [b]Furlin:[/b] You also kinda smell! [b]Druik:[/b] I never take this armor off! What do you expect? [b]Furlin:[/b] I think it?s about time you did, then. [b]Druik:[/b] I could be stabbed by a revolting union member at any moment. [b]Troll:[/b] Just gonna go over here and? [b]Furlin:[/b] Union member, shmunion bember. I?m going to take you out. [b]Druik:[/b] Oh, no! Don?t cure me of my ailment! [b]Furlin:[/b] Grrr! Holy! (begins to summon the spell) [b]Druik:[/b] What the crapple tree? ;_; (hides behind Troll) [b]Troll:[/b] (looks up from his cookies) Wha? Hey, wait, I was just gonna-(get destroyed by the spell) [b]Furlin:[/b] Oh, whoops. [b]Darth Vader:[/b] (crosses the bridge) Thanks a lot, bitches. Hahahahahaha-ack! (uses inhaler) [b]Druik:[/b] Hey, we did it. [b]Furlin:[/b] I meant to kill you ;_; [b]Druik:[/b] Oh wells. [b]Furlin:[/b] Not, oh wells. You?re going to die! >:^O [b]Druik:[/b] Wha? ;_; [b]Furlin:[/b] Yeah! [b]Druik:[/b] Okay, but you?re making the smelliest mistake of your life! [b]Uh oh? Druik the Deviant VS Furlin the Furry White Mage? things could get smelly :^O You?ll have to watch? er? read the next smelly part to this exciting adventure! Mmm? Tollhouse cookies?[/b]

Memories of 4-LOM and Zuckuss come to mind. I guess I have read one of those TOTBH. Go figure. I remember 4-LOM was a droid that actually had an attitude. Though, I hardly remember Zuckuss' character. Oh, and thanks. Maybe I'll stop by now that you said that XD

I'm not sure what this is XD [center][img]http://img238.exs.cx/img238/6391/druikposter2lk.jpg[/img] [size=5]Druik the Deviant & The Demonic Sandwich[/size][/center] [b]Druik:[/b] I, Druik the Deviant, shall rule this Universe and all that inhabits it! Mu-hehehehehehe! >:^D [b]???:[/b] Okay, okay, shut up. I've been listening to you babble about this for an hour now. [b]Druik:[/b] Huh? [b]???:[/b] Why don't you actually go and take over the Universe if you're so evil, huh? Instead of babbling. Sound good? [b]Druik:[/b] Who dares address Druik the Deviant? [b]???:[/b] I do, jackweed! [b]Druik:[/b] What, are you under this sandwich? [b]???:[/b] No, I am- [b]Druik:[/b] Because, my God, you must be small... [b]???:[/b] I am the damn sandwich! [b]Druik:[/b] That doesn't sound very logical. [b]Sandwich:[/b] Shut up and listen. My name is Malkore. I can help you destroy this puny planet and rule with an iron fist. [b]Druik:[/b] I'm listening. [b]Malkore:[/b] You just let rule one half of the army and you can have the- [b]Druik:[/b] You're a sandwich. [b]Malkore:[/b] Yes, well, I- [b]Druik:[/b] You're a sandwich. [b]Malkore:[/b] Yeah, I think we discussed that already! [b]Druik:[/b] How can you command an army? [b]Malkore:[/b] I just can, alright? [b]Druik:[/b] Are you olive loaf? [b]Malkore:[/b] Shut up and listen, jackweed! [b]Druik:[/b] Whaaaat? ;_; [b]Malkore:[/b] I'll command one army, you command the other. Agreed? [b]Druik:[/b] You're a sandwich. [b]Malkore:[/b] Will you shut up about me being a sandwich?! >:^O [b]Druik:[/b] I'm afraid you'll get eaten by one of the peasants. [b]Malkore:[/b] I'll be fine. I have evil powers. [b]Druik:[/b] A sandwich with evil powers? [b]Malkore:[/b] A sandwich who can talk? [b]Druik:[/b] Touché. [b]Malkore:[/b] Anyways, I have dark and powerful... er... powers. I gained them when I was possessed. [b]Druik:[/b] What were you possessed by? [b]Malkore:[/b] I dunno... a demon or somethin'. [b]Druik:[/b] Oh, right. Ever think about an exorcist? [b]Malkore:[/b] Are you frickin' mad? I wouldn't give up my chance to be a walking, talking sandwich. [b]Druik:[/b] Walking? [b]Malkore:[/b] I wouldn't give up my chance to be a talking sandwich. [b]Druik:[/b] I see. Well, I'm afraid you're of no interest to me. But you amuse me, nevertheless. I shall make your death quick and painful when I take hold of this universe! [b]Malkore:[/b] Really... [b]Druik:[/b] Yes. Now I'll be off to start my reign. (steps through a door) [b]Malkore:[/b] That's the women's locker room. [b]Druik's Voice:[/b] I know. [b]Malkore:[/b] Oh my Satan... [b]Druik's Voice:[/b] Hey there, ladies. I am- [b]Girls:[/b] AHHHH! Get out, you perv! [b]Malkore:[/b] ??? [b]Druik's Voice:[/b] Oh, God! Not the-NOOOOO! [b][i]CRASH![/i][/b] [b]Malkore:[/b] I think I heard the sound of someone's lung being punched in. I wonder if that's what normal people hear... I am, after all, a demonic sandwich. [b]Druik:[/b] (crawls out of the bathroom) Where did they get a grenade? [b]Malkore:[/b] Will you listen to me now? [b]Druik:[/b] I can't feel my ears! [b]Malkore:[/b] Shut up and listen! [b]Druik:[/b] ;_; [b]Malkore:[/b] That's better. (clears throat) [b]Druik:[/b] How can you clear your throat when you don't have one? [b]Malkore:[/b] Shouldn't you be bleeding horribly? >:^O [b]Druik:[/b] Oh, shoot! (begins foaming at the mouth) [b]Malkore:[/b] Ahem, I shall take command of you and put you under a spell. You shall become my slave, but at the same time you may be the one known as the evil doer. Everyone shall fear you, but I shall really be behind the whole scheme. Sound fair? [b]Druik:[/b] Will I get private time with my... er.. ahem... "magazines?" [b]Malkore:[/b] What? You mean your Nintendo Power? [b]Druik:[/b] Umm... yeah... Nintendo Power >.> [b]Malkore:[/b] I s'pose. But only a few seconds every day. [b]Druik:[/b] That's plenty of time :^D [b]Girl:[/b] You're gross. (punches Druik in the heart) [b]Druik:[/b] Ohhh... I think I'm gonna cough up blood... [b]Malkore:[/b] Enough of this, fool! (brainwashes Druik) Now you are under my command and I shall have you do my evil bidding. [b]Druik:[/b] I am under your command I shall do your lottery bidding. [b]Malkore:[/b] No, evil bidding. Like, evil schemes. [b]Druik:[/b] I shall fix watch hot girl sports teams. [b]Malkore:[/b] What the hell... NO! I said you must... oh, forget it. You're a hopeless idiot. [b]Druik:[/b] Gee golly wiz. [b]Malkore:[/b] Oh, boy. [b]Boy:[/b] Oh, boy. A bologna sandwich! (picks up Malkore) [b]Malkore:[/b] Ahhh! No! Druik, save me, damnit! [b]Boy:[/b] Gee willickers! A talking sandwich! I'm putting you in the science fair! [b]Malkore:[/b] Nooo! I wish I didn't use all my powers to brainwash that idiot Druik! I must heal. Druik, get off your lazy butt and save me. [b]Druik:[/b] Kidney swimming in stomach... [b]Malkore:[/b] Druik! (girly scream!) [B]GOD MY OH! Looks like Malkore is in a bit of a pickle. Get it? He has pickles in him? Because he's a sandwich? Hahahahaha... I thought it was funny >:^( Anyways, if you want to find out what happens next to Druik the Deviant and Malkore the Demonic Sandwich, please reply with comments. Because if you don't, Malkore may very well become a 2nd Place science project. That volcano was lookin' pretty sweet.[/b] [i]NOTE:[/I] Be sure to check out the post deeper in this thread with the character profiles!

Almost everyone at my school is my friend, but I don't really consider hanging out with them all. Somehow I'm widely known, so I tend to befriend everyone I meet. I don't like calling anyone my "best friend" because that leads to conflict, but there are a select few I'd hang out with over anyone else. I dunno how I became popular, but it's fun because then you can talk to anyone and they can discuss things with you. Then I brainwash them to join my dark forces. But ye know.

I stick around because someday, oh yes, someday I shall [i]RULE[/i] Otaku[b]Boards[/b]! With my black mageynessageering... stuff... I can almost taste the Purple Happy Drink gracing my lips as I laugh and watch members pray for mercy. And there shall be a National Dragon Warrior Day celebrating me, Dragon Warrior. Little kids will cry for their mommies, but their mommies will be in my bed. Darkness shall erupt and all shall flee or attempt to, anyway, and I shall laugh, choke a little on my Purple Happy Drink, then laugh some more. Yes... the dark tomorrow will soon be today... Oh, and I tend to like to post my work. That and roleplay :P

I'll imply my foot in your ass >:^O Anyways, it was quite entertaining. Out of all the OB parodies I've read on these here forums, this one made me actually laugh out loud the most (and not because I'm in it). And I assure you I get A's and B's. Just one note on this sexy writing... ... I'd never drool over Annie for we have an agreement not to drool over each other :P Besides... er... umm... I've got nothin'. =/

Sounds like a real shindig. I'd go, but ye know... I can't :P Muhahahahaha. And yes, they must use a load of make-up to make Harrison look good for the new movie. He's teh oldness, word :^D And I'd like to see Tales of the Bounty Hunters as well, just because the bounty hunters are my favorite part of Star Wars, preferably Boba Fett--the main man!

[left][img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/DW-mini.gif[/img] Well, ladies and gents, sign ups close. I was gonna wait another three hours, but who would sign up then? Meh. I'll post the results of who made it in after all sign ups are read and things are figured out, so watch this sexah thread. Muhahahahaha! [/left] [left][img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/DW-mini.gif[/img] [B]EDIT:[/b] This was quite difficult to do, but I've come up with our cast. I'm sorry for those of you who are disappointed with my choices. AS I said, it was a tough decision. [b]Dragon Warrior[/b] - [i]Lord Vill Lun[/i] [b]Jokopoko[/b] - [i]Blob[/i] [b]Mouse[/b] - [i]Hero[/i] [b]Saishi[/b] - [i]Ninja[/i] [b]Katana[/b] - [i]Mage[/i] That's the cast. If some of you wonder how you got in or didn't, I'll explain my reasons. Some characters seemed to fit the part more than others, not to mention the roleplayer may have done better with grammar/spelling. Always be sure to look over your sign up for errors. That could've been your downfall. Thanks to everyone you signed up. The RPG will commence in good time. [/left] [SIZE=7][B]SIGN UPS ARE CLOSED![/b][/SIZE]

[left][IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/DW-mini.gif[/IMG] I'm not sure where you read "cancelled before it began," but it was cancelled. After one episode that is. It's sad, but true. Funky Fantasy only made it to one episode. Obviously it sucked or something XD For the rest of you, [b]Farse Tales[/b] Sign Ups have officially ended. I am now currently figuring who made the cuts. Also, [b]The Poison Apple[/b] is being post poned until further notice. I'm quite busy and that's one heavy project. You also may have noticed [b]Oathello's Call[/b] all over in my sig. To give you a little detail, it's a comic I'm working on. Should be fun ;^D [/left]

Well, Mark Hamel is getting a little old by now and I'm not sure if he'll look the look for episodes 7-9, ye know? But I definitely think it'd be cool to see it. If they can make Harrison Ford look younger for the new Indiana Jones, then they might be able to do some magic with Mark :P Hey, I'll be turning 18 May 31st, so this'll be a fun birthday thing for me too! Go us XD

Yes, watching that trailer did show Sarumon a little pissed XD I'm only assuming they would chat, then quarrel, then battle like old fools. As for me, I can't wait to sit and watch the 6 hours of behind the scenes shizzle on ROTK. That's what I [i]really[/i] buy them for. And my dad will always get them for me for Christmas, so I can't wait! Ooo, I'll have to watch the 12 hours on FOTR and TTT again first! EDIT: Just bring 'er back around like I did with SW411. An update on me... I got the ROTK 4-Disk set for Christmas like I said I would above. It's sweet as ever. But watching the footage makes me sad because I know that that will be the last footage I'll ever see because it's the end. God, I'm hoping for the Hobbit! [spoiler]Oh, and your post just above mine, Kane... I'm sure you know by now, but for those who don't... Sarumon so gets the knife to the back. Frickin' sweet. His death is exciting, though a tad morbid.[/spoiler]

Time for another sexy resurrection of this thread. :P Episode Three is nearing and my anticipation grows more with every passing day. I'm not too big of an obsessive fan like some of the good folks who have posted in this thread, but there's no doubt that I'm going to see this right away (I'll have to beat nerds on my way into the theatre just to get a spot in the walkways of the screening). And has anyone heard anything about George making episodes 7-9? That'd be kickin'.

I'm very close with my sister. She has to be one of the closest people to me, though she's out of the house and living on her own (her being 21 and me being 17). But whenever she visits, we're constantly together and doing things. I have a great time with her. I'm also pretty close to my friend John who is a senior (I'm a Junior). We understand each other so well we don't have to explain anything and the other knows what the one means. The madness! I'm close to everyone, I guess. I'm a very attachable person XD

Meh, I'll throw in a name I thought of. It sounds a tad punky to me and I like it. Then the others are just random names that seem to fit the genre XD [list] [*][b]Awaiting Tomorrow [*]Two Cents Short [*]In The Shallows [*]Kronicles[/b][/list]

[left][IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/Sootfeather/DW-mini.gif[/IMG] Thanks for the compliments. Though I am trying to be different and unique, I'm not trying to show anyone up, even James. I've added [b]Farse Tales[/b] to the [i]Now Showing[/i] list because it's now out in the Inn. Sign up if you wish. It's a comedic side-project to [b]The Poison Apple[/b], but I do hope it succeeds. Sign ups seem to be flowing in. I hope that doesn't mean people aren't taking their time with theirs. [b]EDIT:[/b] I added [i]Oathello's Call[/i]. Information on it is yet to be given. Tee hee :^D [/left]

Really :^o! Nobody has heard of them around here and anyone who has (even older folks) tell me they were one-hit wonders. I've learned something today :3 And so I said their name wrong... so sue me ;^D Don't really :(

[b]"She's Got The Look"[/b] is definitely a good song. It was done by [i]The Roxettes[/i] who were just a simple one-hit wonder (and I have yet to listen to anything else by them), but I like this song. It kinda reminds me of castles, I'm not sure why. It's a must listen for any rock fan ;^D I don't really have a favorite band in classic rock, though. I like too many =/