Dragon Warrior

Wowness... I made a silly Christmas graphic :3 Some of you may have already seen it on my myOtaku since it's one of my many decorations there. I thought I'd share it with Otaku[b]Boards[/b] as well. Enjoy my black mageness! [center][IMG]http://img103.exs.cx/img103/874/DWmyOchristmasbanner.jpg[/img][/center] ;^D

I do have the cover. What's cool about it is it also comes with a little page or booklet that explains what's occurring in the movie during each song. I thought that was nifty. There's also pictures from the movies on the cover (which is nothing special, but I have the cover so wee!) And the best part is that it's in mint, if not perfect condition. The record is fine and the only thing wrong I saw with the case/cover was dust! What a find, indeed!

Actually, I take it back. I did sing carols for people. But it wasn't anything big; just a Christmas concert done by the Elementary. When I was a wee lad that attended school there, I sang for my class each year from 1st to 5th. Those were the days... I have yet to do any real carolling, though :<

God my oh, Kitty. You need to be taken out to the middle of the street and beaten with a chairleg. Jesus. Anyways, I'm not sure if it'll be an amazing read for everyone. My first time through it (I read book one twice) was a tad hard because it bored me a little. I was about Kitty's age then. I read it a second time last year and enjoyed it enough to finish it. I began reading the sequel, but dropped it. As you can see, I'm not too self disciplined. But not everyone is like me, so...

Upon digging through my mum and dad's old records, I came across something mildly sexy. The original Star Wars soundtrack on a record! God my oh! So I took out the record player we have and tried it. I need help adjusting the thing because I'm not very fluent in... well... in crap. But wowness :^D That record is the shiz! If I could burn it onto a CD, I would (and it's possible to burn it onto a tape, but I don't use cassettes). Is this a treasure or what? Or do you all have one and want to make me cry? :(

Well, it's definately an intriguing plot. It could work out well if you get the right players and I think some graphics and the chapter system might make it a whole lot better. As for titles, the simplest one I thought of was "The Seven Sins," but wasn't that used before? Or a more favored one by me I made was "Serpentine Delinquencies," which means demonic sins. I dunno, title making is not my mood right now XD

Meh, works for me. But try to avoid just a random party without plot. It'd definately turn to "Padded Party Room," which was, though fun at the time, an insane spamfest because it was a RPG about nothing, but sitting around and partying. So all I suggest for your cool idea is to spark in some kind of plot, so the members aren't just sitting around and chatting the whole RPG. Have a reason for the party aside from Christmas or just simply make stuff happen. Just suggestions :)

Ooo... this sounds fun. But I'm not entirely sure how to go about it. I'd see a comedy RPG the best result for one such holiday game since plots can easily go with mocking Christmas tales and carols. But nevertheless, it's simple to make one. Make something about Christmas being stolen like the good ole Grinch or maybe even a story about people having to find the legendary spirit of Christmas in the land of... er... well... Christmas! I was actually thinking of one such idea for a holiday RPG myself. It's kinda raw so it's not really good for it. But maybe this should be done.

I don't know about you guys, but I love Christmas carols. Of course, I love Christmas too. Where I live, we get a radio station about around November 10th that plays nothing but Christmas music nonstop until Christmas day is done. It's "Star 105.7" or something. A great listen. I listen to it when I go to sleep even! Am I pitiful or what? But yeah, Christmas music makes me real excited 'cause I love this stuff. My favorite song is "O Holy Night," but I'm also fond of "Carol of the Bells." So... anyone have a favorite Christmas song or story about Christmas music/carols? PS: I've never carolled before, but I would like to try since I love to sing. Sadly I live in the country and the town I go to school in is small and hillbilly land :(

It's a Gavin thing. We are both Gavins. And I believe your scheme with the whole mistletoe to the back has given me a few ideas of my own. Something never attempted before. Something possibly far-out devious. Only something a Gavin like myself can conjure up! I'll see if it works >:^D

Well, I believe I've attempted the legendary mistletoe before, but it seems not to work. It was another one of my dashing and devious schemes to get some womenses like I'm always doing. Last year, I believe the week before Christmas break at my school, I glued mistletoe to a pipe cleaner, then glued the other end of the pipe cleaner to the end of my hat's bill so the mistletoe stretched out perfectly as if the mistletoe was above myself and the woman I tried to get some from. Yeah, it worked [i]twice[/i], but not really on the women I wanted. And so, foiled in my awesome plot for womenses, I tried another thing. I took the mistletoe off the pipe cleaner and walked around until I found my victim. When I did, I'd yawn (which would raise the mistletoe high above) and look up and say "Oh, hey, mistletoe. You know what that means, baby." They're all my friends that I attempted it on, so I was just laughed at or pecked or something. Blast! People insist on foiling my dark plans. Well, as I plan on what I shall do with mistletoe [i]this[/i] year, do tell if you have ever used mistletoe in your favor. Or if you've ever used it before at all?

Women help me relax :^D But if they're not present, I often write or draw or listen to the band "Live." It's all quite soothing. But sometimes one thinks they want to relax when they actually wanna get out of where they are. Do I make sense or is this a rant? :^(

Hm, well, just a head's up real quick. It's against OB rules to have two banners in your sig, so might wanna change that before an admin does. But what I'm really posting about it if you need good fonts, there are loads of font websites around the internet you can try. I use: [url]http://dafont.net[/url] Just download the font you like, unzip it, and copy and paste the little devil into your font folder of your computer. Yay, fonts >:^D

Sorry I took so long to get this chapter up. I've been busy, plus Thanksgiving. [size=5][b]Chapter 4: James Does Drugs[/b][/size] [size=2]James woke earlier than he expected he would since he had just fought off a whole native tribe. He moved around in the bed sheets, quite comfortable. He rolled over and put an arm on a hairy material. He opened his eyes all the way to see the mole-ridden back of Dr. Kane. James squealed, waking the scientist. ?What is it, James?? Kane asked in alarm. He stared at James? naked chest. ?Why don?t you have your shirt on anymore?? ?Why don?t you?? James countered. Kane studied himself, noticing he felt a slight draft in the room. He lifted the blankets to find a shocking surprise. ?I found my Hamtaro doll,? he squeaked. But upon moving the doll, he saw he was butt naked. ?I?m naked!? James jumped out of the bed in fear, but only to find he too was in the nude. ?Where are our clothes?? he yelled. Kane winced as he shifted in the bed. ?And why does my ass hurt?? Their eyes went horrified. ?SHY!? they screamed in unison. Just as they did, the wise, old master stepped into the room through the sliding door and produced tea for the two. ?Shy, where?s our clothes?? James asked eagerly, ignoring the tea offer. ?You guys were filthy from your adventures,? Shy said, walking toward the window. ?So I washed them for you while you slept.? He then took the clothes hanging by the window and tossed them to the two. ?They should be dry now.? ?But why didn?t you tell us?? James grumbled. ?This could?ve all been avoided and stopped this whole gay joke in this story from occurring. Someone might take offense, you know.? Shy chuckled. ?You?re so silly, James. Now you two get dressed.? The old master walked back to the door. ?I have breakfast ready.? ?Wait, master,? Kane stopped him. Shy turned towards the scientist. ?Yes?? ?Erm?? Kane cleared his throat. ?Did I happen to fall on my backside at all during the night or anything perchance?? Shy thought about it and said, ?No. Now c?mon.? As he left, Kane made a face of fright. The breakfast was delicious! Numerous spreads of delectable items were accounted for across a large oak table. It was a wonder how it all fit inside Shy?s small house. ?Dig in, boys,? Shy said with glee. Kane and James waited no longer. They opened their mouths and prepared to feast when suddenly, they were smacked. ?Ouchies,? Kane cried. ?Why you do, Master Shy?? James pouted. ?We say grace first, you bitches.? ?Yes, Master Shy,? James and Kane sulked. They then clasped their hands together and closed their eyes. ?Will you do the honors, Kane?? Shy said politely. Kane agreed to do the task. ?Good God, good women, don?t eat before swimmin?.? With that, Kane and James ate like furious dinosaurs. Shy smacked them again, a chopstick lodging itself up Kane?s nose. ?That?s not grace, you asses! Now say it right, James!? ?Thank you Lord for this delicious-? James was smacked again. ?What did I do wrong?? James cried. ?I?m atheist,? Shy scolded. ?Oh Jesus-? Kane began before being smacked. ?No talk of God here, bitch!? Shy yelled. ?But you have a bible, Master Shy,? James said, pointing to the holy book on the end table. ?Oh, maybe I?m not Atheist.? He pondered for a moment?s time. ?Ohhh, I?m not Satanist. That was it.? Shy then began eating. Kane and James were smacked once more before being allowed to eat with the master. James and Kane felt full and satisfied as they passed the injured form of Dragon Warrior on their way to Shy?s stables. A few horses were there and Shy offered to let them take three, one for each of them. James thanked the old master, but was smacked for it. ?Now I expect these horses back someday,? Shy remarked. ?Why not come live in Otaku Hollow?? James offered. Shy rubbed his chin out of habit and shot a glare at James. ?Only if I can someday become the Moderator of a forum and stuff, but decide not to do it anymore to make you sad and cry.? James shrugged and agreed. After heaving the bloody body of DW onto his horse, they rode away into the rainforest back towards Otaku Hollow. Sadly for DW, he fell off about forty times just on the way down the driveway. Shy even felt the need to drive his Porsche 911 on his head a few times. Shy grinned with satisfaction. ?I need to test my wheels.? The heroes wandered aimlessly lost through the enchanted forest. Not seeming to find any familiar territory from their previous journey through, they began to get fed up. Dragon Warrior was completely healed, but sad he?s alive. The conditions of this rainforest were terrible. James even began to fade away into a deep sleep atop his horse Desbreko. When he awoke, he was on the leaf-covered ground in a normal forest, a beautiful one, at that. He peered around to find his companions, but to no prevail. Before him was a large stump swarmed by glowing insects of beauty. Sitting on the stump was a gorgeous woman. She smiled at James. Standing up, she greeted him with a grin. ?I am-? she began before clumsily tripping on her gown and falling onto the ground ten feet below. ?God damnit, that frickin? hurt!? She picked herself up and fixed her hair with a brush and pocket mirror. After making the hair items magically disappear, she smiled again at the bewildered James. ?I am Japan_86, the enchantress of this forest.? ?And what forest is this?? ?Oh my fucking God?? Japan_86 put a hand to her head and wandered about the mossy area angrily. ?You come to my forest for advice and you don?t even know what forest this is?? ?I came for advice?? ?Mother?s love, you don?t even know why you?re here!? ?Sounds like a numbnuts to me,? said a funny little voice. James looked around to see whom it was when suddenly a diseased-looking squirrel appeared on Japan_86?s shoulder. ?What in the name of Quentin Tarantino is that on your shoulder?? James freaked. ?It looks diseased.? ?Oh, it is,? Japan_86 assured James. She turned her head so she could see the squirrel for herself. ?This is my pet, jblessing.? ?His name is jblessing?? James mocked. ?What kind of messed up name is that?? ?It?s short for Justin Blessing, jackweed,? the squirrel countered. ?And I?m sorta present right now. You don?t have to talk about me being diseased, which I?m NOT.? Japan_86 ignored the little rodent and continued. ?So, you don?t know where you are or why you?re here?? ?No,? James answered. ?I just woke up here.? ?Woo, boy,? jblessing began. ?This is some story. Haha, like Rip Van Tinkle, or whatever his name was. Hey, Japan_86, what?s-his-nuts here is a complete nincompoop. You should marry him. You?re alike. Hahahaha!? The small squirrel ended up being shoved into a hole in the stump. ?Forgive me, he?s an idiot.? Japan_86 made her way back to James. ?You are in the Forest of Lore, better known as the Help Forum. And you, James Otaku,? she said as she pointed a finger at James. For some reason, jblessing?s arm was attached to her thumb. She screamed, as did James. ?Give me my arm back, you jackweeds,? the tree-dweller squeaked. Japan_86 gladly handed it back and the squirrel placed it into its socket. ?You really are a diseased squirrel,? James said sourly. ?And you?re a fucktard, jackweed,? insulted the little rodent. ?Hold you tongue, Justin!? Japan scolded. Taking what she says too literal, the squirrel removed his tongue from his mouth and held it. ?Ha ha,? he snickered tonguelessly. ?Nasty,? James gagged. ?We?re getting off topic,? Japan_86 stated, ?and our thread might be closed if we do, so shuddup everyone.? She shook James by the shoulders. ?James, you have come for advice through your dreams. I feel you seek information on the Postless Banner.? ?Yes,? James squealed. ?I do!? ?Well, I don?t have any,? Japan_86 said glumly, walking back to her stump throne. ?Wait, what?? James said confused. ?I was brought here all this way for nothing?!? ?You fuckin? fell asleep, jackweed. You did diddly-squat!? The squirrel shook an acorn at James for his ignorance. ?Justin,? Japan_86 yelled from atop the stump, ?shut your mouth before I shove your teeth so far down your throat you?ll have to sit on that acorn to eat it.? Jblessing kept quiet. ?James, I?m sorry, but I just don?t have any files or knowledge of this Postless Banner.? ?You?ve got nothing?? James whined. ?Well, I do know you?ll have a dream tonight that will help you.? ?Cool beans,? James grinned. ?Cool beans?? jblessing mocked. ?Who says ?cool beans? anymore? The hip say ?dat da cool shi?, wigga!? That?s what the hip say nowadays. Ba-bing, bitches!? ?Is it squirrel hunting season yet?? James asked, cocking a gun he mysteriously just found. ?Honey,? Japan_86 began, ?in my woods, it?s always squirrel season.? When James woke up, he was in the arms of a large male bear. It was still sleeping, so he carefully pushed the bear?s arms off him and rolled over. A thought immediately went to his mind when he adjusted his position. ?Why does my ass hurt?? ?James!? came a call from not too far away. James stood and saw Kane on his horse with Dragon Warrior on his and sure enough, James? horse trailed behind riderless. ?James, we?re over here!? ?I see you!? ?We?re over here!? ?I know!? ?Hey, lookie here! It?s us, James!? ?God damnit, I fucking know!? A baby began to cry in a mother?s arms that were oddly standing in these dangerous woods. The mother slapped James for his foul mouth and left just as Kane and Dragon Warrior arrived at his side. ?James, where did you go?? ?I?m-I?m not sure,? James said, rubbing his head. ?Do you guys know when I left?? ?Sure,? Kane said confidently. ?You went to get a pina colada, but I told you the nearest bar would be the burnt one we passed hours ago in the dead forum of Poopie Pineapples and Stuff. I think you hit your head or did some drugs or something.? ?Yeah,? James agreed. James reached into his pocket and pulled out a moldy squirrel. ?Say, let?s cook that,? Dragon Warrior said hungrily. ?No,? James said, tossing the diseased roadkill aside. ?Not even heat could kill all the diseases on that thing enough to make it edible. Let?s get to Otaku Hollow.? James walked over to his horse and attempted to mount it, but sitting down sent pains up his backside. ?God, my ass hurts too much to sit on this horse!? ?Oh no,? Kane mumbled. ?I?m not going there again.? Upon arriving back at Otaku Hollow, the gang found the streets very vacant. They were curious what happened. ?Most members hit the road,? an old man said, rocking in a rocking chair. ?Umm, why are you in a rocking chair in the middle of the street?? Kane questioned. ?Name?s Domon. I?m sure you guys have seen me around these here forums?? There was silence. Domon shifted uneasily in his chair. ?As I was a-sayin?, members left because of the Postless Banner. Only the more loyal or idiotic members stayed. Why am I here, you ask?? ?We didn?t ask yo-? ?I?m here because I believe you guys?ll get the Postless Banner. And if you don?t, I?ll eat your babies and kick your puppies.? The old man known as Domon broke into a sudden cackle. The three took this moment to run separate ways. James arrived at the Town Hall and opened the door to find the plump Charles eating cookies from a bag. ?Charles, what are you doing?? James screamed. ?Are those cookies of a member?? ?No,? Charles said with a mouthful of HTML code. ?Okay, it is. The Postless Banner struck again and took Adam. These cookies are all that is left of our friend.? He looked down at the bag. ?Just these delicious, mouth-watering, overwhelming and intriguing cookies.? The administrator couldn?t help but devour more. ?Charles!? James shouted. ?Get a grip.? The fat man tossed the bag aside. ?Of course, James. Sorry. I?m a nervous eater.? He peered at James for a moment, then his chubby face lit up with an idea. ?Say, you just came back from Shy?s place. Is he real?? ?Oh, he?s real alright. And he told me a riddle I can?t seem to crack.? ?Well, uhh?? Charles looked about and grabbed a stapler, ?I?d help with any mental or physical labor, but I must see how long my stapler can stay as a stapler and not turn into a pencil sharpener. Very important admin business, you know.? ?Right,? James said, rolling his eyes. He walked towards the door and turned back. ?We will find the Postless Banner soon enough.? That night, James had the dream Japan_86 told him he?d have. It was unusual, especially since James was donned in the garments of Cloud Strife. ?Cool,? he said childishly as he swung the massive sword around his head like the real character. ?Maybe I could go shag Tifa.? ?Cloud?? came a booming voice. James turned to see Sephiroth form from the mists surrounding the spot James stood. They were only about ten feet apart when Sephiroth stopped his descent. ?Oh, Sephiroth,? James squeaked, ?you?re mistaken. I?m not Cloud?? ?Fool, I know it?s you!? Sephiroth unsheathed his infamous sword and pointed it towards his foe. ?You now dieness.? ?Ah, swear word!? James swore. Sephiroth began to charge. James began peeing himself. And Domon laughed in his rocking chair? [/size] Next up... the exciting conclusion... and those who think they know who the Postless Banner is will see if they're right.

Ohhh, now I remember him. From aboard the ship. Yes, ye see, I really [i]don't[/i] remember jack. I better start reading the book again. As for the movie, I'm excited to just see the beginning! I wanna see how they act out the part with the bulldozers and his hangover. "Yellow." Frickin' hilarious XD

Each movie will be each book. So this first film will just be on the first of the "trilogy," [b]The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.[/b] So that means you can await the other few books in the series to be movies that follow. I'm sure since these books are quite popular that these films will be successful to the audience that have already read the stories. Then there's the youthful audience that will just go see it for the comedy/sci-fi. Now, it's been a while since I've read them. Is Marvin the alien from the start of book one that helps the main character?

As sexy as the book was, I believe this movie shall beat it in all powerful sexiness. I heard this film would be made about a year ago and today when I saw [b]National Treasure[/b], I freaked at the trailer. If you haven't read the books, you must! This movie will be the ultimate. It's like Star Wars with sexy humor! Adult humor, in some. It's not yet rated, but I'm sure it'll be PG-13. Comments? I checked the site, but there seems to be lack of much stuff. Oh, and remember... [b]DON'T PANIC.[/b]

When I first saw this thread, I thought you made a band for theOtaku. XD I was thinking something like "We're a band called [b]Otakunauts[/b] or some shiz like that :^D WICKED COOL!" I guess I was mistaken :3 Nevertheless, I tend not to have anyone around me that's good enough with instruments to join me in a band. The ones that are good enough like crappy punk (not all punk is crap, but their kind is). I'd like to be the singer of a band, but not to punk. Plus, their songs that they write suck more than their name, which is [b]SUK[/b]. Other than that, I kinda write my own songs and compose...

I just noticed a mistake. Throughout my first post I kept saying "resolution." My mind must be elsewhere. I meant to say brightness and contrast and stuff like that. But obviously you saw the image just fine, Ruby, so I guess I'm okay. Thank you for the comments, though. I will look into the border idea and think about it.

I've been plotting this particular idea for a year or two now. [b]Pokemon: [i]Dark Tomorrow[/i][/b] would be a more "adult" version of Pokemon, you could say. I always thought there should've been one so why not make it? I made this graphic for funsies and help support my idea. [IMG]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=21572&stc=1[/img] I'm not sure if it's my dad's resolution on his darn computer, but this image looks dark on this computer. On my other computer, the image is perfect. To get the best viewing of it, adjust your resolution if you must. Otherwise, I'll lighten the graphic if it's my computer's fault. Anyways, this image also supports my first "image-and-graphic" graphic thingy. I'm not sure what to call it, but to explain it is I used my digital camera to take a picture (my hand and the Pokeball) and used the actual image with computer made graphics by me. Combiningness :^D I'm happy how it turned out. Commentsness? ;3

Hmmms... I like them >:^D But there are some things about them that I don't like completely. One thing is the text is choppy. It's kinda pixelated, which can bring the whole graphic down if the text is the center of attention (which in my opinion, it is). And on the middle image, the ovals around the text have jaggedness on them as well. It's those sort of things that could be smoothed or blurred to make it better. Other than that, these are some sexy graphics :^D [b]My Rating:[/b] 7/10 >:^O BECAUSE I SAID SO.

Yes, I did attempt at taking over Otaku[b]Boards[/b], but PiroMunkie stopped me with what I call the "Piro Revolution." I still have sexy followers and I [i]WILL[/i] eventually rule OB >:^D And, sorry, Kid Anime, if I stop using big words, my writing will sound lame like "The cow walked down the road." Vocabulary can help a story a lot. Oh, and just to inform everyone, this story is only going up to five chapters. That means I have only two chapters left to write! Enjoy it while it lasts, eh? ;^D [size=5][b]Chapter 3: Shy and the Temple of n00bs[/b][/size] [size=2]James, Kane, Solo Tremaine, and Dragon Warrior all gathered again by the old church to start their journey. The four shifted uneasy, thinking of the dangerous quest ahead of them. They?d have to travel through uncharted web servers and possibly spammified forums and sites. James was beginning to become unsure of what they were about to do. "Okay, DW," James said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence, "which way to Shy?s?" Dragon Warrior looked about as if searching for the answer. Turns out, he didn?t really know it. "I?m not entirely sure." "What?!" Kane squealed through bandages. (Why he got bandages from going to the hospital, we?ll never know.) "You better find out!" "Hi dere," said a silly voice from behind. They all turned to see none other than--Zidargh! "Oh my goshums," James said excitedly, "it?s Zidargh the Map Guy Thingy Person Man." "I?m called a cartographer, you jerkface," Zidargh said rudely with a polite tone. (I don?t know what I?m talking about either.) "I could sell you a map if you want. Let?s see?" He began digging through his large sack that was quite apprehensive. "I?ve got maps to Las Vegas, one to the Kill Adam RPG, a ticket to the Otaku Awards 2005--very pricey, mind you--a map to Shy?s Mysterious Abode, one to Star Wars 411, one to-" "Wait," James interrupted, "what was that last one?" "Star Wars 411?" "No, before that." "Otaku Awards 2005 ticket." "No, you primitive fucktard! I want the map to Shy?s place thingy." "Ohhhh, Shyyyyy." Zidargh dug out the map and took his money from James? outstretched hand. "Nice doing business with you. Maybe next time you can purchase a Batwing Bladder-Bussle from me." James kneed Zidargh in the kidney and the Otaku Member died immediately for some reason. "Okay," James said with glee, "we have a map. Let?s go find Shy!" The four started their way off towards the town exit when they were run over by numerous members and their horse-and-carriage bands. James picked himself up while Solo growled. Kane fiddled with his useless bandages and stared at the members passing by with a cold expression. "Why you leave?" Dragon Warrior asked sexily. Alan, who couldn?t possibly resist the sexiness of the question, stopped along his traversing and answered, "We?re all leaving town because of all the bannings. No one wants to be in a forum that you could be banned in." He cocked his shotgun skillfully. This made James sad. "Can?t you guys stay?" the administrator pleaded. "We were off to find a solution for this chibby-chab as it were." "Chibby-chab?" asked Alan, cocking his shotgun. "It?s Spankish for ?problem,?" Dragon Warrior answered. He was, after all, the founder of the sexy language Spankish and was enthused that James used some of his words. "Otay," Alan said, cocking his shotgun, and pointed it toward the crowd. "I?m sorry, Mr. Admin, but we?re gone. We can?t take any chances. I?m not waiting for you to get Shy and come back to stop the Postless Banner." "How did you know we were going to see Shy?" Kane asked. Alan stood unnervingly, then accidentally shot a bullet into the crowd. "Sorry!" he shouted. He then turned to the group of four. "i hvae 2 g0 n0\/\/. ok bye/!!!11!1" With that, Alan the n00b Hunter was cocking his shotgun and gone with the rest of the abandoning members. James wanted to fall to the ground and weep. "All my members are weaving," James sobbed. "Weaving?" Kane asked. "He means ?leaving,?" Dragon Warrior corrected. "But he said weaving." "Yes, but he means leaving. At least, I think he does." "Yes, I mean leaving!" James shouted. "Now let?s get going. I want to end this whole thing before the Postless Banner succeeds in destroying all of Otaku Hollow." "Right, let?s go!" they all said in unison. "That was unusual," Kane admired. "We are losted," Dragon Warrior complained erotically. "And I?m hungry and sexy." "We must push on," James cooed, pushing back the brush and leaves of the exotic rainforest that was strangely next to their temperate zone village. "I can smell some kind of food cooking." "Me too," Dr. Kane said, getting caught on a branch by his bandages. Solo barked in agreement. Dragon Warrior began summoning dark entities around him. "Maybe we can barbeque the civilians cooking the food and eat it all for ourselves." He laughed maniacally. James put a hand to Dragon Warrior?s lips (wait, does he even have lips? He?s a black mage for God sakes!) and shushed the others. "I hear something." They all listened carefully when suddenly natives appeared out of nowhere and pointed pointy objects at the group of four. "Ookie ookie, smelly admin and friends," said one that appeared to be in high authority. "We the n00b natives of forum Poopie Pineapples & Stuff." James looked queerly at them. "Poopie Pineapples and-" "No talkie," said the n00b, pointing the spear at James. "We have pointy stick things and spammy posts, yes yes?" James looked around wondering where the question was directed to. He nodded anyways. "Yes yes," said the leader. "You come with us, smelly admin." He turned to the three others. "Wet dog, poopie doctor, and sexy beast go to prison cells." He lifted his spear and a group of n00b natives whisked the three others away from James? company. "Oh, man, I just got out of jail," Dragon Warrior complained. "Sexy, this one is," said a rather attractive n00b. "He come with us. OMFG YESH!!!111" And so, Dragon Warrior was taken elsewhere. James began to panic. "You can let us go. I am an all-powerful administrator." He took out his ModRod. "I could ban you all with a single wave of my magic stick!" The n00b natives laughed as if there was some inside joke floating around. "Your magic stick not work here, smelly admin. We from ?nother forum, yes yes? You not from here, no no." They all laughed again and James felt like pouting once more. The n00bs, as stupid as they were, had some superiority over James in some places. They knew of his abilities. The leader native finished a gruff laugh and rubbed his tummy. "You funny, smelly admin. We likerz you. WIRUIHT FRHTHIO WEUROP RW EIOWOP-0421834 I4 39RU?!!!11!11!" "What?" James asked, questioning the insane spam. "I say, you dine with us." The leader nodded to the other natives. "Bring smelly admin. King Rocko Blackheart Masser will love company of smelly one." James was taken by the arms by the natives who were spouting out spam as they lead him deep into their forum temple. "King Masser! King Masser! King Masser!" The n00b natives chanted this several times before the general of the natives emerged from a leaf covering in the temple wall. "Attention!" he shouted. The natives went silent. "Natives," he said, addressing his fellow n00bs, "smelly admin," he nodded at James, "and attractive models from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition," he then gave a wink to the sexy models, "you all equally blessed with the presence of our lord. I present now, King Rocko Blackheart Masser!" A large, black-cloaked figure with an enormous staff emerged from the same leaf covering on the wall as the general. He bowed to the applause that roared from the audience of natives. James eyed the staff. He must be compensating. King Rocko held up a gloved hand and the temple went quiet. "Greetings, my natives and James." He smiled at James through his helmet. "LOL!!111" "Hi," was all James managed to say. "Silence when I?m talking, smelly admin! lol" scolded Masser. "Well, now I know where the natives get their intelligence," James mumbled before being forced to sit at the large dining table. Masser joined him and began feasting. James would have too if every wasn?t made out of raw Spam. James almost gagged. King Rocko Blackheart Masser looked up at James, Spam plastered across his face like paint to a wall. "Why aren?t you eating, f00l? rofl" "Let?s just say Spam ain?t my thing," James said, eyeing the questionable meal. "You don?t have Spam at your forum?" "I absolutely forbid the horrid stuff." This made Masser upset. He stood up with one quick motion and growled. "You insult our forum with your insane rules and regulations and other big words!" He kicked over the table, forcing James to jump back. "Now you will pay, OMFG YES!!!11/1" He took his large staff and swung it skillfully. "Halt!" James unsheathed his Version 7 ModRod and held it expertly towards Blackheart. "I have a ModRod that could take you all out in a second." "You?ve already tried that trick, f00l, lol!" Suddenly everyone broke into "lol" and a little "rofl" here and there. "Guess what. Not only is my ModRod here more superior and larger, yours won?t work outside your forum. ROFLMAO LOL!!!!!11!11" James scowled at this display. "I beg to differ," he shouted, firing a bolt from the ModRod, knocking the one from Rocko?s grip and sending it flying into the chest of the general, banning him. "OMFG!" Rocko turned back to James and grimaced. "You suxorz." "Likewise," James frowned back. He held the ModRod in Rocko?s direction, causing a panic throughout the temple. "Now get my friends from their cells and bring them to me." "Hmf," King Masser grunted. "Fine with me. I can kill you all at once then." The forum administrator then turned towards his fellow natives and ordered for the "smelly friends" to be brought to him. After that command, he turned back to James and smiled. "LOL." The cells were made of metal, for some reason. They were very well made, but no prisoners aside from Kane and Solo were present. "These prison cells are well built," Kane admired the craftsmanship. That?s when a few natives popped in and pointed spears through the cage bars. "King Rocko Blackheart Masser order smelly friends to join us and smelly admin." "What?" Kane questioned, but they were taken from their cell and dragged away without an answer. That?s when Boba Fett appeared for another random moment. "Yesh, yesh, YESH! I just saw the new Star Wars Episode Three trailer in theatres. OMG, it was amazing! Boba Fett?s in it, you know. That?s my name. Hahahaha? if you don?t know who Boba Fett is, you?re not just ignorant, you?re stupid. I should beat you with my Star Wars Collector?s Lightsaber. I?ll do that while drinking from my collector cups. They glow in the dark. OMFG YESH!" Thank you Boba Fett for yet another useless rant. It was only a matter of minutes before Kane and Solo were dropped off by James? side untied. James peered around his friends with a questionable look. "Where?s Dragon Warrior?" "He wasn?t with us," Kane said, not entirely sad their devious companion is missing. James was different, though. He turned and scowled at Messer again. "Where?s Dragon Warrior?" "I dunno," replied Rocko smugly. "If my natives didn?t throw him in the cells, then he?s not present here. Maybe you should keep better track of your members, LOL!" James shocked Rocko and made him cry a little. "That hurt a little, ****, lol." "Wow, I?m already sick of this guy," Kane mused. James thought a moment, then spoke again. "Messer, order your men to find Dragon Warrior." "ROFL, okay!" He called forth one of his natives. "Where?s their smelly friend?" "The sexy beast is in gentlemen?s club." Rocko turned back to James. "He?s in my strip joint, lol. Good taste!!111/1!!!" James shocked Rocko again to stop the insane spammage. "Then fetch him for us." "You heard James, lol," the lord of the natives said. "Find Dragon Warrior." The natives immediately spilled down through the temple to their local hentai forum. "So then I said to her," Dragon Warrior began to say to all the hott womenses in the strip club, "let?s just have a sexy tea party and call it a night. So we did and you know what she did?" He waited a moment as if expecting an answer from the intrigued strippers. "She asked for a massage. Now you know I have my dignity, but-" The door suddenly swung open and natives poured in. "OMFG!!!11" They ran up to all the strippers and screamed "u hav a NEKKED pics?" and "wAnna cyber?!!!1!11" Dragon Warrior had to immediately destroy them and the strip club with his amazingly sexy black magic. The large explosion caused everyone, including Masser and James, to turn towards the strip club and watch the large mushroom cloud forming where it was previously. James took this moment and whacked the distracted native king over the head. He then took Kane and hopped on Solo. Solo ran down towards the blown up strip club with James and Kane riding on his back. Dragon Warrior emerged from the wreckage. "DW!" James shouted as Solo rode over to the black mage and halted. "We?ve got to get out of here! Quick, before-" "LOL ROFLMAO, there they are!" The four turned to see Masser and his army of n00b natives pour out of the temple towards the burnt strip club where they stood. "You guys go," Dragon Warrior said, cracking his knuckles. "I?ll take care of these guys." "Are you nuts?" Kane squealed. "Hey, I almost took over Otaku Hollow, so I think I can handle a lame forum like this. Give me some credit here." A piece of spam flew by, which was the cue for James, Kane, and Solo to take off. They rode into the forest as Dragon Warrior approached the army. Masser walked towards DW and laughed. "LOL, he wants to defeat us. He doesn?t know we R0X0RZ!" He readied his ModRod. "OMFG ROFL, let?s get him!" Suddenly, the natives fired loads of spam at Dragon Warrior, who put up a force field to block the assailment. "lol, you?re cheating! Barriers are white magic!" "Exactly," Dragon Warrior grinned. "COUNTER!" The barrier turned from a protective shield to a weapon of mass destruction, flying towards Masser and his army of n00bs. Masser watched the attack come towards him. "Fuck, lol." James, Kane, and Solo could all hear the explosion from Poopie Pineapples & Stuff when DW?s amazing attack unleashed. Not too long after, Dragon Warrior himself came flying in from the sky and landed on the ground next to his companions. James shrieked with glee. "You did it, DW!" Dragon Warrior looked at the administrator dazed-like. "I wanna ride the pony and eat my ice cream at the same time, mommy." He then fainted. Surprisingly, Shy?s house was not too far from Poopie Pineapples & Stuff. Dragon Warrior was carried on Solo?s back while Kane followed James who lead the pack. They approached a massive hill and peered up to see a Japanese-style house on top. "Guess that?s Shy?s place," James said in awe. "Let?s go." It was pretty steep, but there were stones that were good for steps. After climbing what seemed to be the inevitable, they made it to the door and pushed the button for the doorbell. A sexy Mario remix played and then a wolf answered the door. "Hi, I?m Vicky," said the pooch, then she caught eyes with Solo. Solo immediately went blank in thought and dropped Dragon Warrior down the steep hill. Solo and Vicky ran away together as the sound of cracking bones was heard at the bottom of the mountain. James and Kane entered. Inside, the place was smitten with brown wallpaper and candles lined everything. It was very symbolic. Shy emerged from one of the sliding doors and cooed at the visitors. "Seeking help, you are, yes?" asked the wise old fart. He sat down on a cushion, then gestured for James and Kane to do the same. "Yes, Master Shy," James said, bowing his head. "STOP THAT!" Shy scolded. He whacked the admin in the head. "I hate people who grovel. I?m just more attractive, more wise, more intelligent, more powerful, and in every way better than all of you. We?re not so different." "How so?" "So you seek help?" Shy threw some stones about a piece of paper. "Are you using those stones to tell fortunes?" James asked in amazement. "What? Fortune?" Shy made a face. "Hell, no. I?m just playing with these rocks. I get distracted easily." He shoved the stones aside and smiled. "You seek help with the Postless Banner." "Yes!" James said in excitement. "Can you tell us who it is or how we can stop him?" "Hmm," Shy pondered. He rubbed his chin and stood up to walk around a little. "Use the Force." "What? Use the Force?" "No, damnit," Shy scolded. "I said, use my horse! It?ll be a long journey back and without your doggy friend anymore, you?ll need a quick ride." "Oh," James smiled. "Thanks." "Geez, there are a lot of Star Wars cracks in this story," Kane declared. "Hmm? I see something," Shy said. James listened carefully, not wanting to disturb Shy?s reaches with the spiritual world. "I see? I see? a sexy black mage in pain below my hill." "Oh, that?s just Dragon Warrior," Kane said plainly. "Oh." Shy walked back to his cushion. "Well, I did see something else about your Postless Banner." "What is it?" James said eagerly. "A leader that died Will return, With a weapon you gave him So you shall burn." "WTF?" Kane spouted. "Calm down, Kane," James soothed. "What?s it mean, Shy?" "That?s for you to find out. For now, we rest. You have a long journey back to Otaku Hollow tomorrow." They all agreed and blew out all 5,682 candles before turning in. But not far from where they slept, a voice rang out into the night. "My back? my sexy black mage back?" [/size] Now comment ;^D

There tends not to be a formula to get chicks. I may be a guy, but even I know that not all girls are the same. This formula you have is aimed at a certain type of female, not the whole breed (sounds like I'm talking about animals here =/). The girls I flirt with, I go with many strategies. Usually the ones I go for my humor works best on, but you have to get them other ways too. No offense, but I wouldn't follow this formula all the time :^D

Well, in all truth, I'm hoping for a brand new Mr. Destructo Cotabulatortron 4-50 with add-on Malchimurockers complete with the new molecu-lator addition package. In other words, a really large gun that can enslave all of OtakuBoards >:^D And I plan on doing just that once I get it. Or you can skip everything and James can just give me OtakuBoards for Christmas >:^D Muhahahahahahaha... EDIT: Oh, and the weirdest present ever would have to be... I dunno ;_;

After taking a picture of my sister's cat sitting atop her shed, I made this fancy wallpaper :P Enjoy. NOTE: Oh, yes, the cat's name is Arwyn >:^D 'NOTHER NOTE: My Photoshop is being stilly so I had to special save the wallpaper and crappy ole MS Paint ;_;