de1ayna

uuh oh! I was sad and mad out of my mind but then you came you gave me nothing but lines and lies i gave my self away I guess i was only thinking about "us" Maybe ill think twice another day? hows this? nevermind i dont care XD because i wont be visiting this site again untill i come up with a better poem or a story...XD dont bother to reply, because most likely i wont even see it :wigout:

I hate everything about you you pathetic weak thing you you praise yourself you are your idilik being you let glutton control you you feel sorry for only yourself I love you when your bleeding Ilove you when your hurting You hate you like I hate you you love you like I love you you discust me You hurt me like you salted all my wounds I hate you because you allow me to I hate everything about you I realized too late that I had double posted and I tried to change it.....so I made up a new poem it was made in a few minutes . sorry about my mistake I feel really embarrased. This poem is rated PG 13. :( :(

I live in the U.S.A, California ... but in about two months from now I will be in Arizona!! I dun wanna go! *yawn* its sleepy time goodnight everyone...

I liked both of your poems very much but I like the second one a lot more because it is more like my genre of poetry...Keep up the good work ;)

Wow that was awesome this is the first story that I have read here and ...the best the thing I like most about your first chapter is how hot you make the characters sound(because I am prety much an adoring obsessive fangirl)And I also like howthis kind of reminded me of "The Lord Of The Rings"with the " you shall not pass"thing and such. Any way I look forward to reading the next chapter. Kudos. :D

YOU WILL NOT SAVE ME Dont even try it you cant help me I hate you and you wont ever change me NO! I wont allow you to save me I want to be alone all I need is to be alone I want release from this suicidal confinement to be free of all stressful restaints and be completely worryless I hate you and your distorted sence of grace and I hope to be thrown out of your so called *bleeping* grace I am forever lost in my black maze I am forever drowning in my see of dark and shadow haze I hate you and you wont ever change me no you will not save me no one can save me from me Hmm I think the reason this poem of mine confuses me is because I have to many un nessesary emotions in it ( mostly hate ) I would like some constuctive criticism on this if you dont mind :tasty: I realize that I am quite repetative and i apologize :( Hmm...no one seems to want to reply to this I wonder why. :confused: I did ask for constructive criticism... but know i really would like...er any type of reply perty pweez? :) Sorry about that :( It seems no one is posting to this anyway If it is not too much to ask I would like you to lock this post for me I would be really thankful :wigout: If you dont want to dont worry about it.XD

Hmm.I dont really understand this... But I do like that it has a nice flow to it and that the words are not forced.(I say that a lot)

Hmm well since no one else Replied I thought that I would ,If you dont mind... well this is actually the first haiku that I have read :( But I liked it hmm I dont really know why O well XD

Name:shadow(tacky I know) Weapon:22.berreta(DUH) Apearance(real):Mid back black wavy hair,green eyes,nice to get a long with as long as your first impression is great. Age:17 Hight(real):5'5 wieght:115 Wish:To avenge her fathers death(He was murderd by a pack of ware wolves)

ROFL I agree with Patronus...wich doesn't happen very often :)

LOL ,are you ever going to attach the immage I am a little curiouse to know what it is :D Ok ty syk3....Hmmm I cant really see much of anything in that pic. but I think I see a boat.XD

Actually,Patronus I think it is no more ...hmm you would be correct if she put "I cant wait no more" Then the correct way would be "I cant wait any more " But Zharim didnt Zharim put "I can wait for you no more." Wich is the correct way to put that sentance XD You see if Zharim put "any more" in the place of "no more" it would be ..."I can wait for you any more." Wich really does not make sense... Any way I really can not argue with anything else you have said (typed ) because those are your opinions...( I only corrected you onn this because you stated it as a fact wich I am sure was on accident) No hard feelingsXD :love: ;)

wow, everyones poems here are so great you all should keep writing lol maybe I should post some more of my poems on here but they are a little depressing.......

In the first poem "Angel of love", I am not quite sure what the meaning of it is (probably because I am a complete idiot and i am way too young to know what "Love "is." But I think your poem means...that you loved someone but they did not love you ...and you bassiacaly turned your back on love all together (love probably =lite)and you walked into the darkness(darkness probably=hate) and the Holy angel is probably the object of you love...(I just confused mt self LOL) and that "angel of love hear my prayers,answer my calls" means you want light or love back...XD In "beloved treasure " Ithink you mean you want to love, that fate is cruell and that you ran away from the "darkness"and your thoughts began to clear and so you began to see the "light".But then the "darkness"came back again and that you still want the "light to "feel the hole that hate made." In "Holy Gaurdian...umm it was so beautiful that I wont allow myself to put it in my confining words XD(compliment) In "Dream" I think that you are trying to say (type)that the light is fading and that the darkness is becoming overwhelmingly powerfull. And that you think that the "their" you are talking about are people who feel the same way you do.And by saying "where is the gaurdian" I think you are either talking about God or the light abandoning you. In "My friend" I senced a ton of emotions like :safety, protection ,fear,wonder,concern and the infamouse "love"...but i laque the expirience of putting all of those feelings together in one paragraph... The rest of them are all beautifull ...but I am getting sleepy so...I will stop here ..You are a fantastic writer and i will look forward to reading more of you art. (by the way you probably shouldn't take anything that I said (typed) to heart because I am only 12 years old and I dont know anything ..the poems that I have written could not even compare to yours XD

Well I liked all of your poems but the only one I could relate to was the one called "the mask" there is some room for improvement in your writing...but all together you are a really good writer...but please dont stop writing just because I think you are not perfect I am just one person after all XD