C.Azul

I remember about two years ago when I was crazy about this girl named brenda. She was all I can think of. I tried to talk to her but she kept running away. She used to talk bad behind my back and she would play jokes on me, but I didn't care because I really liked her. My friends would always tell me that there are plenty girls around to ask out but I didn't listen to them. I was so into her. But something happened that I rather not talk about it that it made me realize how much of a jackass I was. Everytime I looked at her, I would just look away in disgust. Now I don't feel nothing for her. As a matter of fact, I haven't seen her in years. I guess first loves are feelings that would eventually vanish over time.

Sometimes I feel left out because people have told to me to go hang out with my own race. Like this one time at school, I was going to sit next to a white person because I couldn't find any more seats. I don't mind sitting next to a different person because I'm not racist. But this person told me: "Why don't you go sit with with your own kind?" That's why when I was with my friends I didn't have to worry about that because we used to hang around laughing and screaming and nobody would shut us up. But Now that I don't have any friends, I feel even worse. I guess that in this place everyone sticks with their own race. But how do I supposed to talk to my own race if I can't get along with them too?

I used to have many friends a few years ago. But now I don't have any. Two of my cousins turned drug addict so I just stayed away from them. I don't know about the others because I haven't heard from them. Either way, I never actually got along with none of them. We used to fight a lot. Whenever we used to go to a restaurant, they always played with their food like if they were little kids. They were embarassing because a lot people were staring at them. I don't ever want to see them or hear them again. Now I just stay here in my room after work alone with no friends. But I think its better to be alone than be with drug addicts.

I actually get along really good with my family. Its my friends that I have problems with. As a matter of fact those stupid jackasses are not my friends anymore. Its been years since I haven't seen. They don't even try to look for me anymore. I'm always the one that has to look for them. I had female friend who always ignores me. She only talks to me whenever she feels like it. I try to say hi to her but she just keeps walking alone like nothing happened only to embarrass me in front of my cousins. All that I can say its that she's crazy.

Look, I don't even try to hit on girls. I'm just a shy, stupid person that everytime I try to ask a girl out I ended getting rejected. I remember when I told this girl if she wanted to go out with me. Fortunately, she said yes and I was really happy. But then I saw her kissing another guy. I was going to kick his *** but fighting over a girl would just make me look like a dumbass(which I already was for believing in her in the first place). Also two years ago, on Valentine's day, I decided to give a box of chocolates and a stuffed animal to a girl. She didn't do anything to break my heart. It was the stuff she received from other people. She received way better gifts and that was enough to put my gifts and I in shame. There's still more problems that I had with girls but its embarrasing to talk about it. I just wanna know why the HELL does this keep happening to me?

What I look for in a girl is how nice and how smart she is. Also patient, humorous, and understanding. But I don't think that I would ever find a girl with these characteristics. For some reason most of the girls that I ever met treated me like crap. I don't know why but they all seemed to hate me. I haven't done anything to them. I remember when I wrote a poem (boy, was I stupid) to a girl named brenda. When I gave it to her, she just turned it into a paperball and threw it at my face. My heart sank low. She also used to talk crap behind my back. One time I was with my cousin and somebody knocked at her door. She thought it was me so she came and kicked my ***. Of course I can never hit a girl so just I took it. Another girl named azelia used to humiliate me in front of everyone. I never understood why was I treated like that. Maybe I deserved it. I guess some of us are not meant to be in a relationship. But, why is it that everytime that I try to talk to a girl they just keep ignoring me?

Look, the best way to forget about this person is to concentrate on more important things. Life is not just about relationships. Maybe you should first focus on your education you know, graduate from high school and going to college. I think that you are better off without your boyfriend because who knows if you might ended up being pregnant. Like a friend of mine. She was a cheerleader and was extremely smart. Her goal was to attend an university. She was preparing to graduate high school but sadly she got pregnant and never accomplish her goals. Think about it. Getting involved with another guy won't help solve your problems, it would just make it worse. Just chill out. Hang out with your friends. Old wounds can take time to heal but they won't stay forever.

I have many favorite music videos: "Like a boss" by Slim thug. This video has my favorite thing: Cadillac Escalade with 24s & Spinners "What u gon do" by lil jon & the eastside boz ft. Lil Scrappy They all getting crunk at the club. Lil jon & lil scrappy meet their clones face to face. "Hey now(meanmuggin)" by X-zibit I don't know about the music video, but this is a really cool song. "Let's go" by Trick Daddy ft. Lil jon & Twista I have not seen the whole music video but this is one of the coolest songs I have ever heard.

Album: Straight outta Ca$hville Artist: Young Buck of G-Unit Man, this album's tight. The beats are awesome and the lyrics are hardcore. His cd was produced by 50 cent and no wonder his album has one of the crunkest song around. This is one of my most favorite albums of the year. Tracks that you must definitely hear: *I'm a soldier ft. 50 Cent *Let me in *Welcome to the south ft. Lil Flip & David Banner *Prices on my head ft. Lloyd Banks & D-tay *Shorty wanna ride *Stomp ft. The Game & Ludacris I'm sorry but listening to rock is not my style. Its all about G-G-G-G-Unit!