Pressure

[color=purple][size=1]Being a freshie, prom is kind of out of my reach, unless I get asked by a junior or a senior. Which would greatly arrigvate my sophmore boyfriend. Then again, even if I [i]did[/i] get asked to go to either, I would decline. I think it's rather arrogant of someone from the freshman or sophmore class to show up at either junior or senior prom, whether they have a date or not. It would not be my place to be there, and I understand the schoolwide love for all freshmen, so I knew that if it was my junior or senior prom, I wouldn't want a bunch of egotistical, arrogant, snobby, stuck up, freshmen at the prom that I'd been anticipating for three years. Whether or not I am going to actually go to prom when I am a junior or senior, I do not yet know. I must keep in mind, that my school is not the richest, and my prom would probably be held in the gym. o_O; Ugh, I allowed myself to be talked into going to homecoming. I blew $135 dollars on my dress, not realizing that I would wear it only once. (However I will admit, it was a really pretty dress :p) As if it wasn't bad enough that my dress was so expensive, I then blew another $115 dollar on my hair, which ended up falling apart by the end of homecoming. The only positive part, was that my hair matched my dress, (midnight blue ;)) My closest cousin, who I consider a sister, is going to her senior prom soon. Unfortunately, I won't be able to see her go. My mother and her mother are not speaking, and I am forbidden to set foot into their house. This also means that I won't be able to see Carrie graduate. :([/color][/size]

[color=purple][size=1]I've always thought I possessed a natch for writing. I love to twist words and bend them to my will. I am thankful that the english language has about 9 words to mean just one thing, each with their own degree of severity. Writing, and acting. I love to act. I love the power of being able to make anyone believe anything. I do it all the time. :angel: I also have this odd little talent that I find most irritating. I have the most unbelieveable ablitity to blow a ton of money, on relatively nothing. o_O;[/color][/size]

[color=purple][size=1]Congratulations. Once I graduate highschool, my goal is to join the Air Force. Though I must ask, since you are the one already sworn in, what is the exam like? I've heard it's horrible, the hardest of all the military branch's exams. I was advised to take a bunch of Honors and AP classes to prepare myself for the "big test". Is it really as bad as it's hyped up to be?[/size][/color]

[color=purple][size=1]Wel.. this shows you how up to date on current world affairs I am.. I'd never even heard of SARS before this thread.. However, now that I have read through the entire thread.. The thing that is alarming me.. Is not the disease itself.. It's the reaction [i]to[/i] the disease the disease infection that many of you people are having.. "Unless it comes seriously close to home, don't worry about it" Ther "I am safe because there aren't any cases near me" attitude is probably the most deadly way to approach this disease.. just because no one has reported it.. does NOT mean you are not at risk.. don't you think people travel.. well they travel.. toyour area.. without knowing they have it.. and it spreads..[/size][/color]

[color=purple][size=1]Instantly buy a plane ticket to where ever Lady Macaiodh is.. After that, I'd probably pay a visit to a few other members of Otaku, of course, bearing luscious gifts at every stop.. I'd buy Lady Macaiodh a shotgun, to blow of Mike's head.. As much child care as I could jam into her new all leather interior Victorian house.. Which would have to have a tower, or she would not be moving in.. The best damn guitars ever created.. And.. I dunno.. Her own marijuana plantation.. After crying my tears of parting.. I'd make a quick flight back to Japan, pick someone up, and fly directly to Orlando.. I'd stop at a craft store on the way.. And I'd leave a nice present for a certain staff member.. Sleeping quietly on the new deep maroon silk sheets covering a giant canopy king size with black drapes.. Would be a rather attractive Japanese rock star.. J-Rock make-up and all.. With a nice sheer black ribbon laced around his delicate neck.. Sitting next to the bed on the bed side table would of course be an enourmous supply of champagne and exotic scented oils.. There would be dozens of deep red rose petals scattered all over the bed.. And tied to the pinkie toe of this certain sleeping rock star.. Would be a little note saying something along the lines of.. 'Have Fun -A' After Orlando, I'd be flying off to Texas, carrying a very large arsenal of the most destructive "toys" ever created.. Stashed in the back would be the world's largest supply of Hentai and Metal CDs.. That would be an interesting visit.. After all my house calls.. I would probably go for the corporate officials.. Buying out the rights and papers to a few companies, stores, comics, etc.. I'd buy out the rights to Calvin and Hobbes, and hand deliver them, and well as a Certificate of Ownership, of the Walden Books company.. After that, it'd be off to Saban, buying out the rights to Digimon, and dividing them evenly, between one of the more respected members of these boards.. and the administrator of Begoggled.. Of course for all of this, I would need the best damn lawyer alive, who would probably be charging an agregious amount.. I'd buy the rights to Mario and Zelda, dropping them off at the house of one of our dear sweet administrators :P I'd probably follow Medra's idea and buy the fastest and most efficient server ever created for Otaku.. then I'd probably, just for fun, buy a lovely new Lexus, complete with every gadget and gizmo imaginable.. and drop it off in the driveway of our very own Adam.. After this was all said and done, (though perhaps not in this order), I would buy a truck load of ancient weapons, and drop them off, simply packaged, at Raiha's door step with a note similar to the Floridian's.. With all the difficult tasks out of the way, I'd probably then splurge and buy less difficult to obtain gifts for a few other people.. Such as.. A live puma for Charles.. A highly successful underground club for Justin.. Natalie Portman for Shyguy.. A large, attractive, completely paid for suburban house for Jenna.. Complete with a check that pays for the rest of her college tuition.. Sitting on her bed would be, of course, a large, state of the art, camera, complete with a guarantee for a life-time supply of film.. At this point I'd probably nab a celebrity or two, most likely Stuart Townsend, and fly him/them back to my private home in the mountains in Japan.. Where I would probably just rest for a while, and pay off all the bills, taxes, hidden fees, (lawsuits), etc, that came with my gifts.. And I would be content.. Until I got bored again, then, who knows? Oh, and as a side note, I'd probably kill a few celebrities (Courtney Love) and bands I didn't like, and I'd most likely buy a simple hand grenade and shove it far up Mr. Presiden't rear, just for fun..[/size][/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Semjaza Azazel [/i] [B]I just hope no more kids do these stupid school walkouts. They get to leave school (how convenient, considering how many kids just [i]love[/i] school), and complain about stuff most don't even seem to understand. That 60 Minutes report on it didn't help their image much either lol. Oh well. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=purple][size=1]:therock: I did.. And I'm proud to say that I was one of 6 people with the guts to stare the administrators in the face and walk out of school anyway.. We are people too.. Just because we are underage does NOT mean we don't have voices and opinions.. Aren't we the future? Then why not listen to us? It was a peaceful protest.. All we did was sit on the ground.. Infront of a tree.. In the quad.. We didn't do anything else.. We just sat there.. People joined us at free will.. Well.. The ones who weren't afraid to.. We want awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and opinions too.. None of us support the war.. It's just a power struggle.. This isn't about disarming missles.. This isn't about freeing the Iraqi people.. This isn't about oil.. This is about Mr.High and Mighty President tramping around and trying to show which country wears the big britches.. It's pointless.. No one likes to admit defeat.. Especially not someone in control of a country.. Don't get me wrong.. I do not support Saddam.. At all.. I'm all for freeing the Iraqi people.. But not with war.. War accomplishes nothing in the end.. Only death.. And, might I pose a question? Who the hell are we, to play righteous lords, and attempt to save the Iraqi people? Do we REALLY have that right? Are we supposed to set an example as Americans? We have the highest rate of illiteracy, homelessness, domestic abuse, drug abuse, etc, and we are supposed to be an example? How can we save another country full of people, if we cannot even save ourselves?[/color][/size]

[color=purple][size=1]I do even if they don't ask..[/size][/color]

[color=purple][size=1]I heard this on the way to school today. I didn't think they were serious. o.O It's times like these that I really want to reconsider resigning from the position of 'anarchist'. Our nation's leaders, quarreling over.. toast and potato.. I'm sure that inspires fear into the hearts of all those overseas wishing to bomb us.. -_-[/size][/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Lady Macaiodh [/i] [B][COLOR=darkblue]One wouldn't be meeeeee, would it? I agree with some of this, though. I'm pretty much a hermit lately, so, besides my two RL friends, I wouldn't have anyone to talk to without the boards.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=purple][size=1]You and Raiha. :devil: Show's how many friends I have. -_-[/size][/color]

[color=purple]Hmm.. -ponder- Can you go a bit mroe in depth in this question? For example, if it was to save the life of my child, I would not be able to choose, I would sacrifice myself. If it was to have my child help me lift a piece of furniture, I'd choose my son. Then again, I'm never having children. But for me to answer this question, I need more details.[/color]

[color=purple]Well, there are a lot of things about my life that I like. Heh, I guess that is due in large part to Adam. Up until a few weeks ago, my life was terrible. Then one night, I just IMed Adam, and everything has gone up from there. Now keep in mind, I do not mean our wonderful Administrator. :p There are many things in my life, little things, that I love. I really love that I am the only person I know, with a cat who is obese. My cat is insanely fat, and I love it. :love: I love a pair of socks I have, they are adorable, with little puzzle pieces. I have also been noticing lately, and loving, the large effect that Otaku has on my life. In the past 2 weeks, I have been labeled a cynic at least 9 times. Everytime, I thought of Sara. :p Also, I was recently asked who I respected. I do not respect very many people, I hate respect, so those that I do respect, are very special to me. I named three people. Two, were from Otaku. I'm in a very good mood right now, and I have been for the past week and a half. I guess it's all thanks to Adam. (click the picture) I must say though, that more than anything else in my life, I love my friends. My friends, my true friends, are the only ones who can bring me out of depression, just by existing. I see them in the halls, and a smile immedeately appears on my face. Now, I love all of my friends unconditionally, but only a few of my friends can make me happy just by existing. Olivia, Amber, Emily, Kevin, Eric, Lauren, Kait, and Adam. Heh. One final thing that I love, that is completely original to me, is my obsession with rabbits. I am the only person I know, with an insanely large obsession with rabbits. I see a rabbit, real or not, and I freak. I'm the only person I know, in my entire highschool, with the guts enough to walk around all day, wearing huge fluffy pink bunny ears. :p[/color]

[color=purple]I'm a cruel person, so bare that in mind. [b]For the first question:[/b] I would save the life of the teenager. I hate children. There is nothing on this Earth that I hate, more than a child. Babies, absolutely drive me insane. I do not want them near me, by me, in my sight, in my life, at all, ever. I also, have a strong dislike for the elderly. They just annoy me because thousands upon thousands of dollars are spent to keep them alive, when in reality, as The Harlequin said, they were never meant to live that long. The human body, in nature, is lucky, if it reaches the age of 65. Naturally, we just don't live that long. I would not care if the grandmother died. I would not care if the child died. I would not care if the teenager died. I am numb to death. It does not bother me at all. But if I had to, the teenager would live. [b]The second question:[/b]I would do it. If I chose a loaded gun, oh well, I've lived long enough. I also, would be dead, therefore, I wouldn't care. If I didn't hooray for me. Simple logic.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by genkai [/i] [B]*doesn't read thread beyond 1st 3 posts* B][/QUOTE] [color=purple]Augh.. now this is what bothers me.. more as a member of the boards than as a Moderator.. If you are not willing enough to read more than the first three posts of a thread, why bother posting in it at all? If it is a long thread, like ones I've read before, that got near 60 pages, then by the 60th page, the topic has been scruitinized very finely, and every aspect has been sought out and voiced. Usually when this happens, members begin to "bounce" off of one another, they stop posting about the topic, and begin to post about one another's views. When this happens, opinions are spurred, and this is when the truly interesting topics and discussions are started. If you don't want to read the entire thread, at least read the most recent posts, that way your post won't disrupt the over all flow of the thread. That said.. Otaku itself has not matured much, it's the members that have. I believe I joined Otaku right around the same time as the terrorist bombings occured. Back then, you could go to nearly any topic, and at least one thread, was about Dragonball Z. Or you could go down the member list, and 60% of the names, had 'Goku' or 'Vegeta' in them. I remember my first three posts, were pure spam, nothing more. I also remember reading the threads, and being both astonished at the intelligence of some members, Lady Macaiodh, Sara, Sephiroth, and Transtic (who had the most amazing icon I had ever seen). I began to feel unintelligent and ashamed, so, I stopped posting about how much I loved Sailor Moon's hair, and began answering topics that were well thought out, and in my opinion, were worth reading and answering. I do so love a good controversial topic, most members do. I.E.My abortion topic nearly started a riot. :devil:[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by anime_gurl [/i] [B]My mom has to do some interview thingy for a bible study class she's in. She has to ask people who don't go to church: 1.) What thoughts or words come to mind when someone says, "Church" 2.) Give two reasons why you don't go to church 3.) What qualities do you think a church needs to be a "good" church? I'd greatly appreciate it if just one of you answered these. My mom is pretty desperate... (It's kinda scaring me) [/B][/QUOTE] [color=purple][size=1]I'll give it a shot.. [b]What thoughts or words come to mind when someone says, "Church"?[/b] Christianity, God, Jesus, Death, Contradiction, Betrayal, Hyprocrite, Lies.. [b]Give two reasons why you don't go to church.[/b] 1)I don't believe in god 2)I believe it's pointless and a waste of time [b]What qualities do you think a church needs to be a "good" church?[/b] I don't think church is good, in any way shape or form, so I suppose that the only "good" church, to me, is one that does not exist.. I don't have a very, "popular", view of religion, but it is as follows.. I believe that religion, in any form, is an extreme act of selfishness and immaturity. God and religion are just lies that one believes, to fool their own subconcious into believeing that if something is to go wrong in their life, then it is because of some "greater power". They will not accept that the fault, is in fact their own. Religion is also a compensator. My friend Autumn said to me, "I know their is a god. If their wasn't, then how else do you explain my mom being alive? She was bleeding internally and the doctors said she wasn't going to make it. God saved her life, it's a miracle" While I am happy for Autumn, I believe that is pure bull. While, I cannot explain why her mother lived, I can say this.. everything has an explination. However, we do not always know what it is. Back when the Ancient Greeks were alive, they believed that when a volcano erupted, it was because Hephastous was angry. Now we know that a volcano eruption is caused by plate techtonics. Tell me how that example differs, from the one with Autumn's mother. It doesn't. Religion has no purpose, besides making people feel good. They cannot accept the world as it is, and rather than try to change it for the better, they blame it on God, Jesus, Allah, Buddah, etc. I don't believe in a man walking on water, I believe in gravity. I believe in science and reason. I do not believe in fate. I do not believe in destiny. I believe that we are what we are. If God was truly so loving and accepting of everyone and everything, why are people so against abortion? If God was truly so divine and wonderful, would he really want people fawning over him, and killing each other over the belief in him. Seems a bit arrogant, for someone who is supposedly in control of the universe. Now, I realize that my view is not popular. I don't want to change anyone's views, if you decide that you agree with me, that is great. I'm just stating how I see the world, and what my view on religion is.[/color][/size]

[color=purple]X3 Awww.. Heh.. -knew- Haha, well, seriously though, take tons of pictures, and don't throw out your old clothes bc they don't fit.. send them to me XD.. haha.. Take long hot baths.. it will calm you down and help your aching muscles.. My mom and I wish you the best of luck.. Hah.. oh.. so does Dave.. ;) -A[/color]

[color=purple]If I was to become famous, how would I want it to be? Hmm.. good question, well there are several possible answers.. Music: I'd want to lead an all girl emo band.. Art: I'd want to be the next Andy Warhol.. Political: The president to enforce anti-discrimination laws pertaining to sexual preference.. Literature: Write the most controversial book in creation.. Criminal: Wipe out an entire country.. (I'm thinking Germany ¬_¬) Scientifically: Go watch the movie Thirteen Ghosts.. I want to create those cubes.. Universally: Be the first person to hold a star in the palm of her hand.. Those are the ways I would want to be remembered for. Most likely, I will be remembered for making a huge mistake and probably destroying something of great value and importance.[/color]

[color=purple]Considering that I have limited time, I'm going to address only two of the topics brought up in this thread. 1)I believe society does not pressure kids to grow up too soon, kids naturally want to be older, from their own observations in life, not from MTV. 2)I could not believe in what Lady Macaiodh said more. Conformity. XP Many of my friends promote anarchy. I narrow that down to just promoting non-conformity. Anyways, conforming is not being true to self, which is very important, very important.[/color]

[color=purple]Sorry CowGod, but creating a thread specifically for the purpose of advertising your own website is not allowed. You can however, advertise for your website in your profile or signiature. This thread violates our rules, so it must be closed.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by gokents [/i] [B]Its not that I mean to "lump" you james. Its just that in this discussion there are 2 groups. Those who support the application of capital punishment and those who dont. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=purple]Er.. not to be contradictory, but I don't exactly agree with this. Crazy White Boy, is my support. He said he was on the fence. So really, there are three groups, no? Those who support captial punishment, those who do not, and then there are the undecided. I believe the people who make exceptions also fall into that third group. Alright, enough rambling on about the number of groups. :angel: I support capital punishment. Often, I support it for economical reasons. If you lock up thousands of criminals, and place a couple hundred of those on death row, then soon the penitentiaries(sp) become overcrowded. James has already heard my arguments on this. :smirk: A necessary evil. Do you agree? Many people view captial punishment as murder. 'An eye for an eye makes the world go blind.' I don't think it's murder, even though James knows I tricked myself into saying it was. I brought up a good point, without knowing it, during our conversation. By posting it, I'm going to contradict everything I have already posted. But, that will be worth it for you to have a go with this question. The state has the 'right' to punish criminals with capital punishment by The Constitution. You do not. If you did, it would be a vigilanty, and ultimately illegal act, even if t was for revenge or a just cause. There fore, you would be convicted of a crime if you killed the criminal. In your eyes the original murderer would have recieved the justice he deserved. But would that be enough to die yourself? That is why the state has the right. BUT, the state legislators, the court judges, the exicutioners, are they not also humans? Then they must follow the same laws that you do must they not? Then why is it that when you kill, you are also sentenced to death for your revenge. But when the state does it, they are not consequenced for the revenge of society? [/color]

[color=purple]OOC:Thanks Rai.. -- Kato: Something is coming.. Nelynn: I know, 'rouse the elf, this could be dangerous.. [i]The sylph drew her blade from her back and crept behind a rock nearest the cave entrance. She could smell a wolf. IN the back of the cave, Kato was helping a not yet awoken Laitina into safe hiding. Nelynn took another breath of air. They were close, very close, and... oh god, an Orc was with them! Nelynn covered her delicate nose to block the horrible smell. She took a breath and held it.They would be upon her in a few seconds. [b]SNAP[/b] There it was![/i] [i]Nelynn ran from her hiding place, slashing the air with her blade. She heard a loud crash and a crumpling of metal as her blade struck. The Orc fell to the forest floor, his armor slit on the shoulder. Nelynn swung again, her blade was met by that of another female, Siren. With a devestating crunch, the two swords crackers, and clattered, broken, to the forest floor. Leaving it behind, Nelynn dueled with the woman until she had a chance to escape her blows, at which point she was met by the werewolf.[/i] Jenica: Stop sylph! Nelynn: Never.. [i]Nelynn physically clashed with the werewolf, fists and claws meeting, while generous blood was spilt on the dirt, staining it a deep black. Kato and Naitina were having troubles of their own. Until..[/i] Naitina: Jenica?! [i]The confused were wolf looked up, locking eyes with the half elf, meanwhile, Nelynn cracker her knuckles along Jenica's jaw. The sylph stopped when she saw the two recognized one another.[/i][/color]

[color=purple]OOC:Thanks so much Rico for giving me something to build off of. And thanks for your patience, my ever wonderful computer decided to kick me offline, literally, two sentences before I finished with my follow up post in this thread. >_< --------- [i]Nelynn bit her lower lip in disgust.[/i] Nelynn: I know better than that. Why was I being so damn cocky? I knew that unicorn halflings can shift time to save themselves from any immideate danger. [i]Nelynn growled in the back of her throat, but ceased quickly. The forest was dangerous at night, even for an immortal. It would be best not to attract the attention of a Redcap or Phooka. The sylph leapt to a nearby vine and began swinging herself through the forest, trying to think of a way to capture the unicorn halfling and the elf he traveled with. Nelynn was so busy thinking about the unicorn and elf that she did not even notice when she ran out of vines, until her feet touched the damp grass of the clearing. The sylph landed in a crouched position with a soft thump. However, it was apparently not soft enough, for Nelynn heard a scream like that of a banshee, accompanied with the rearing of a horse, it's hooves beating the air fiercely. Upon pure instinct, Nelynn grabbed her staff, and screamed a freezing spell into the night air.[/i] Nelynn: TEYR NIE LEIE ENTA LEIN!! [i]Tiny, white, marble-sized bubbles shot forth from the stone atop the staff, piercing the midnight sky, and shooting through the trees, encasing the nearby 20 feet in a huge dome, and slowing anything they touched. As the bubbles' wrath slowed, they hooked themselves to the nearest object. This gave the affect, of thousands of tiny stars suspended in the air, illuminating the surrounding 20 feet, and everything within it. Nelynn replaced 5 amethyst stones back into her leather pouches. Nelynn had placed them in a star-formation around herself, they sheilded her from the spell's powerful magic. She stood now, and walked towards the edge of the clearing. Nelynn was astonished at her luck, to find the elf and unicorn halflings, both petrified, fear etched on their faces. Upon closer inspection, Nelynn found blood red stains on their fingers, and she could easily see their veins, which were glowing orange, through their skin.[/i] Nelynn: Frost berries.. -- [i]Kato gasped for air as he shot up from where he'd been laying. His eyes snapped open, he gasped again, this time in amazement, to find he had returned to his human form. Eyes wide, Kato stood. The furs that had been covering him, dropped to the floor, which was granite. He was in a cave, and he was..[/i] Kato: I'M NAKED!! [i]Kato, blushing, wrapped himself in furs, and sat back down, his cheeks a deep scarlet. He was beginning to calm down, when he heard someone laugh behind him. He spun around quickly, to see Nelynn smiling, one eyebrow cocked, handing him a bowl of mushrooms and ripe green ferns. She herself, was holding a leg of meat, roasted to perfection.[/i] Kato: Who are you? and WHY AM I NAKED?! Nelynn: It's been a while since I last found a man that I did not eat, and especially one who was so well endowed. [i]Kato's head and shoulders flushed a deep red.[/i] Kato: Are you serious? You raped me?! Nelynn: Call it what you like darling, you weren't complaining before. [i]The sylph set the bowl at Kato's feet, stood, and walked to the other side of the cave, where she poured crystal water in a bowl, which she set by the side of the sleeping elf.[/i][/color]

[color=purple]Everyone should serve their country?! ....communist I like Anti-Flag. I'm not going to say I love them, but close enough. I only have their CD 'Underground Connection', but it's pretty damn good. Ahh, political punk. So enjoyable. If you pay attention, you can learn quite a lot about the government that you never knew. God I hope PHiNE gets a record deal. They are my friend Matt's band. Local, so unless you live in Baltimore County, Maryland, you would not know of them. They are political hardcore punk. Misfits, meets the Casualties, meets the Sex Pistols. With a dash of anarchy thrown in there. I love all but, two of their songs. And the band members are all awesome. The only thing is, right now I'm emo-ish because of recent events.[/color]

[color=purple]You cannot imagine how long I have been looking for a feel Breaking Benjamin fan. No one at my entire school has ever heard of them. I remember the first time I saw the 'Polyamorous' video, I went nuts. I wrote the name of the band on my hand, and went all around school asking anyone if they had ever heard of them. I had the song stuck in my head all day. Then I heard Polyamorous playing on a Digital Cable Music station, and I was singing along at the top of my lungs. I want the CD, but I can't find it anywhere. Bleh...[/color]

[color=purple]Ah, defintely one of my favorites. Thank you Juuthena, you succeeded in making me smile. Which is a rare occurance in my depression. Anyways, I absolutely adored Moulin Rouge. Nicole Kidman is my favorite actresses. I adore Ewan McGregor, it's my dream to just pinch his adorable little cheeks, though I'm not sure he'd appreciate it, coming from someone about 15 years or so younger than he is. :shifty: This movie always makes me smile, I love John Leguizamo's part in it. My friends think I am odd, well one of the reasons anyways, is because I walk around school singing the songs. While all my friends are singing The Misfits, The Exploited, and The Sex Pistols, I'm singing songs from Moulin Rouge.[/color]

[color=purple]A country where failed suicide is illegal? :therock: Canadians are odd. :shifty: I can really relate to how you feel right now Zidane. Last night, the person I've been naively pursuing for over a year and a half finally admitted to me that I don't have a chance, I never did, and I never will. So today, I scared all of my friends, not purposely of course. I scared them because I was silent nearly the entire day. I have probably typed more words in these few sentences than I said all day. I risked possible suspension all day by listening to Sugarcult over and over and over in all my classes. The pinnacle of my day, was crying after first period. A lot of people say to talk out your feelings, that has never worked for me, personally. I don't know if it will for you or not. If it doesn't, my suggestion is to indulge into some serious emo music. If it is at all possible, try to cry. It may sound childish to the untrained person, but crying is a wonderful way to relieve anguish and strife. Cry as much as you can. It will make you feel a lot better than talking.[/color]