Umbra II

I'd have to say I like Inuyasha more than Naruto, though from what I've seen of the former, it may change. Mostly because it was one of the first ones I've ever seen, and it grabbed my attention from the start. I like how Inuyasha gradually changes from the beginig towards the end, though on the surface he still acts immature. As well, the other characters grow and change, and you grow to understand them. For instance, when I first saw Inuyasha transform into his pure demon form, I nearly had chills. Or when Sango's one brother was controlled by Naraku, I felt hate toward Naraku. An even better example is when one finds out Naraku was the one who intigated the death of Kikyo, and they overlay his voice in the flashbacks where he was disguised. It's that kind of thing that makes Inuyasha an awesome anime. However, I have not seen much of Naruto, so I can't make a really good recomendation.

When I first the commercial for "Bobobo-bo-bo-bobo" (having a name easy to remember but difficult to get exactly right) the first thing that came to mind was, "Oh, great! Another stupid show that takes up 30 minutes that could have been filled with Yu-Yu-Hakusho or Rurouni Kenshin or other fantastic shows which, for whatever reason, Toonami rejected (?!). However, havimg been wrong about some anime before, I decided to watch it anyway. As it turned out I was exactly right. What I hadn't counted on was the fact that it [I]was[/I] funny (I being a fan of slapstic and out-of-the-blue comedy) and that I should not totally disregard the show. As I said, it is "another stupid show" because the plot (if it can be called that) is pathetic at best. I was tempted to turn it off right then, but I continued to watch. Then when Bobobo(ect.) apears, talking about how his father abandoned him in one sentence, then praising him about how he was always looking out for him, I was completely surprised. Sure, it lacks the fundamentals of classics like Cowboy Bebop, but thats not what it tries to achieve. I could watch it as long as the main character stays nice and crazy. (But I [I]still[/I] say Toonami should put back those good ol' shows)

Whenever someone chooses to lose there virginity, if at all, is completelyup to them, and not for others to decide whether its acceptable or not. To judge someone on their sexual inactivity seems a bit strange. Maybe they haven't found the right person. Maybe they're only interested in a platonic relationship.You make it sound like one should have sex not for children or even for lust, but because to be a virgin at age 35 (a random middle aged number, I assure you) is seen as, to inference from the tittle, unacceptable. To answer your question, if you haven't found someone you want to marry and have kids with, its still perfectly acceptable.

I know everyone is just assuming that Snape is good (or most everone) but here is indisputable proof that it wasn't simply [spoiler] Snape betraying Dumbledore: Dumbledore was begging Snape. You don't honestly think Dumbledore would beg Snape for his life, would you? But its fits right that Dumbledore would beg Snape to kill him, doesn't it? Thats assuming Dumbledore has a plan, which of course he does. He knew about Draco's betrayal and parent problems, so how do you think he could miss something like a loyal-to-Voldemort Snape? But there are some problems with this. Someone above said that snape could continue to be a double agent. Let me ask you something: If any one but Dumbledore knew about Snape being on their side, Voldemort would find out without a problem. Who is he going to report to, then? He has no excuse to go to Hogwarts anymore, being with Voldemort all the time. The only thing I can think of is that Snape is going to help Harry. Which brings me onto my next problem. without the 7th year of training, Harry doesn't stand a chance. I hope someone will convince him to go back to school, or at least bring the next level of books with him. But right now Harry doesn't stand a chance.[/spoiler] I noticed too that there wasn't a plot, at least not in the traditional sense, [spoiler] and all that romance seemed unimportant, not to mention that the Lupin and Tonks pairing is more than a bit unlikely. Although if she had given us information.... Finnaly, the D.A.D.A classes with Snape weren't even there except for the first one. Seriously, Slughorn took all of his glory. (Though Slughorn was pretty important to the *ahem* plot.) [/spoiler] [spoiler] I don't care what Dumbledore had planned. I wish that he didn't have to be killed for it. And if Snape did betray Dumbledore.....CRUCIO![/spoiler] That ends my opinoin-verging-on-a-rant.

I first discovered this site when I searched the web for an Inuyasha quiz. THe first one that combined the the words "Inuyasha" and "quiz" on the list was none other than the "Which Inuyasha villian are You?" quiz, so I took it, (Sesshomaru) not knowing anything of this site or the boards. Impressed with the quiz, I started looking for more, and eventually found the link that would bring me here. I hadn't been into message boards before, but upon taking a look at the quality of the posts ('quality posts' being some what of a rare description for most boards) I decided to look at it more closely. I read the rules, viewed many a thread and learned much. So, I thought, why not? And here I am.

Its not so much the type of anime that I favor so much as the charactors and plot. I'll watch any type so long as the charactors are deep and the plot is interesting. Even through .hack//Sign when entire episodes were talk I payed attention, and I was rewarded. some of the most exciting parts were talk [spoiler] like when Lady Subaru disbanned the Crimson Knights.[/spoiler] That's my opinion, anyway.

Actually, I prefer dubbed over subbed because it IS a pain to have to read the bottom or top or wherever and pay attention to whats going on. Actually I have found a couple of voices I prefer English than Japanese, one of wich is my very own Avatar, Hazanko. Its deeper, richer, and more sinister in English than the one in Japanese. And give all the other ones a break. I haven't yet heard a dubb that is so terrible that it makes me want to pull my ears out and eat them. (Though when Kagome screams, I'm tempted.)

Quen Con from Outlaw Star, because despite being put under the label of antagonist, he isn't out to harm anyone but simply gain as much knowledge as he can. And the fact that he creeps oout the main charactors, not an easy thing. Scar from FMA, not that I agree to him trying to kill the elder Elric, but the first episode that he's introduced he [spoiler] puts the chimera out of its misery when he comes across it, not out of bloodlust but compassion.[/spoiler] since then, I have found it hard to hate him. The Laughing Man, from Ghost in the Shell, and why not? Instead of using his abilities for personal gain, he chose to try and prove that [spoiler] micro-machines were not as efective agianst Cyberbrain Sclerosis as the serum that was rejected[/spoiler]. You'll notice that the antagonists I favor are the ones that are not neccesarily bad so much as get in the protagonists way. Esp. Scar

When Vash was[spoiler] forced to choose between taking Legato's life and letting the insurance girls die. you knew it was going to hapen, but still! Also, when he was mopey afterwards, and just when someone was bout to shoot him, Meryl stood in between the gun and Vash and Vash thought immediatly of Rem. [/spoiler] Perhaps not a big thing for you, but for me it was. Wolf's Rain when [spoiler] Toeboy (I know I misspelled it) died. For that matter, it was "Holy $#&%" after "Holy $#&%" with those last few episodes, anyway.[/spoiler] In Inu-Yasha, when [spoiler] he transformed into his pure demon form, I was on the edge of my seat.[/spoiler] In Dragon Ball Z, [spoiler] when Goku turned into a super-sayen. in my opinion, none of the other transformations really ever equalled the first one. They keep going and going on the power levels untill your not really surprised at GT's SS4 mode. But the first one definetly quallifies.[/spoiler] Outlaw Star, [spoiler] when the main bad guy, the pirate, came back from a Shell #4 (Black Hole) I was NOT expecting to see him agian. To be more specific, this was towards the end, the battle prior to the final one.[/spoiler] And of course the one from Cowboy Bebop and FullMetal Alchemist that everyone else has stated.

The story is decent enough, but there is one radical setting glitch: As you know, Naraku was born a human, albiet an evil one. It is only because he gave himself up to the demons that he gained his Half-demon status. So, you say that Kouru is his sister. If she is truely his sister, then she should be 100% HUMAN. And 50+ years, to boot. Yet you say that she is demon. I can only think of one remedy for the situation. Say instead that Kouru is Naraku's half sister, and that one of his human parents had a child with a demon. Then, she'd be half demon like him. If you go on without heeding my advice, that's your choice, but then your fan-fic will lack authenticity. Other than that, no complaints.

Firstly, you make things vague by your way of talking, especially with the falsh back, and your "that brings us up to date" doesn't belong there. Try seperating that and coming back with another paragraph. Also, it might help if you went into 3rd person limited, which is 3rd person speaking, but you know the thoughts of a single charactor, as well as what they say and do. Have him then muse about what has recently happened as he is traveling. And now the begginig. When you introduce element, make sure to describe he's a robot. Try, "Behind him, the (insert personality adjetive) robot Element was creating craters with (insert explanation)." Sorry to be so critical.

I like RPG's that give dig out charactor traits. It makes it more humorous, or when something tragic happens you can feel sorry for them, even if they're not real. But I suppose thats more up to the people who signed on than it is up to the person who created the RPG. On that note I'll make a comment that the creator has to think about: I like RPGs where there is a determined plot, but at the same time its flexible enough to have charactors do something that wasn't originally thought of, adding on it more things that happen, enriching it, and making a better RPG. As for the Star Wars, no, I wouldn't mind. Unlke Bio, I haven't grown bored of Star Wars just yet. I would liek a Star Wars RPG where the players are Clones. Especially if its in the time fraim of "Opperation 66" (if you've seen Episode III, you know what I mean.)

I have a question. SInce our charactors are near the top (the angels and demons gangs) surely our charactors have had run-ins with each other, because they're fighting so much. Since the odds of opponents knowing each other are quite well, could you fabricate some charactor-to-charactor histories? I'm sure that the plot would be much sweeter if there are personal vendetta's going on, or romances, or the like. For instance, Abbadon could have been asigned to take out, say, Arel, but one of the charactors who signed up was the body guard, and Abbadon couldn't complete the mission, so he holds a respectful grudge against them. Also I already have an ending in mind for my charactor, but I'm not sure where to put it. (I can't put it here or I'll ruin it for the otehr players) so, do I message you?

OOC:This post may contain content not suitable for most Catholics. It felt good to be soaring through the the brisk air of the mortal realm instead of Hell, the tiny village laid bare upon her sight, the houses so small as to seem insignificant, and to her, they were. Flying through the air, Lilith chose her next target: A Catholic Church. Landing, she took on the guise of a young mortal girl, and slipped in with a crowd of late comers, pleased to see her disguise fooled the humans. On the outside there was nothing to show this, but on the inside she was laughing at them. "For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround themwith yor favor as with a shield." Understanding their tongue as if it were her own, she tuned out the scriptures and turned to view the statues of saints, already forming a plan. "And now, please join me in prayer." At once everyone bowed their head except for Lilith, but the Pastor took no notice, starting the prayer. "Mary, Mother of God..." She chose then to interupt. "Exscuse me, but isn't Mary just a human?" she asked, using the sweetest and most innocent voice she could use. The Pastor, looking anoyed, said,"Yes, but..." "So then why do you pray to this mortal woman? Surely she cannot grant you greater salvation than your Lord." she said this last a bit mockingly, letting some of the innocence dropp away slowly. "Well, you see..." "For that matter, why do you have statues. Don't you realize that they are idols, that no presence lives in them? Or do they? Is their a spirit in there worth worshipping?" Now almost all of her pretense of kindness were gone, replaced by hatred and mockery. The pastor, clearly unused to this kind of behavoir in the church, yelled, "See here!" She leapt over the rows of people as no human can, and landed near the statue of Saint Peter. Then, she shoved it ith inhuman strength, causing it to fall and shatter. "Oops! I broke the idol! I guess that means your one step closer to damnation, hmm?" She no longer held the pretense of a human, letting them see her as she was. "Well, at least your prescious Mother Mary hasn't been broken." As she finished the sentence, the statue of Mary shattered into tiny pieces except for the head, which had a large fracture down the center. She laughed. She laughed and she laughed and she laughed. She laughed at the humans, who stood there dumbfounded at the horror that had been commited. She laughed at the Saints themselves, powerless to stop her. She laughed at Lucifer, who could never have done such a thing. But mostly she laughed at God, who would not save His children from her. They screamed and ran, trying to get out. All except for the Pastor, who sat dumbfounded at what had happened since she had first destroyed Saint Peter. She turned to him, still laughing, and he knew that he was her next victim. Blood stained the broken head of Mary that night. OOC: There, I warned you. In fact, it contains content not suitable for non-Catholics, too.

Name: Abbadon Age: 24 Former Occupation: Assassin/ Gun for hire Gender: Male Affiliation: Demons Appearance: 5'11, blue-gray eyes, short black hair, a black cloak attached to the shoulders with hidden pockets, one on the left and one on the right, a long sleeve shirt made of light material, pants made of the same material, and underneath is incomplete body armor for the fists, fore arms, chest, and shin, and boots with two spikes on the bottom each, one at the front of the shoe, one at the heel. Personality: Cold, dark and dry sense of humor, believes firmly that the weak and foolish deserve no mercy if they get in his way, and that the strongest are meant to survive. Bio: Abbadon was born in Kansas, though he was not born into that name. The name he was born with was Jacob Weiss, son of German immigrants trying to fit into the new American lifestyle by giving him an American name. His parents had moved to America when he was 5, never knowing why. He also never why one night he was awoken by the sound of gunfire (though he didn't know it at the time) and his parents screaming. He went to see what was going on, and found to his horror that people with guns were firing at his at his mother, his father lying on the floor with blood staining his chest. The gun pointed at his mother fired, and she slumped to the floor, a red stain blossoming in her stomach. "Search the house! Make sure there are no witnesses!" Although he couldn't understand what the man who had shot his parents had said, somehow he new he was in danger. Turning to flee, he ran to his closet, closed the door, and dived into some sheets. No sooner had he completely obscured himself within them then a man with a gun, though not the one who had spoken, had entered the room. Quickly glancing, the man didn't see the disturbed sheets, and left to check out the rest of the house. Jacob didn't know how long he had spent under the sheets, but the sky had started turning gray in the east when he first ventured out. Sluggishly, he went to where his parents lay, not understanding that they were dead. He implored them to wake up, he yelled, screamed, made promises that he wouldn't disobey them ever, but it was to no avail. Ever since he was old enough afterward to realize what had happened, he swore to take revenge. Early on, he started taking martial arts lessons in a run-down "dojo", doing odd jobs like an errand boy to support him By the time he was 10, he had saved enough money to purchase a small handgun and a few rounds. Since he was not old enough to buy guns legally, he purchased one from the very gang that had killed his parents, smiling at the thought that they would be taken out by their own weapon. After that, he practiced his marksmanship until he could outshoot almost anyone. But he knew that the gang members weren't just anyone. So he decided to give himself an advantage. Now old enough to have a part time job (he was 15) he paid for a handcrafted outfit that he drew the sketches for, making it so he could conceal weapons and armor in it. After exacting revenge, he departed, leaving behind his past and name, taking instead the name of a demon in his Bible, one of the few things he had after the attack. Eventually he wandered south and found himself in Haven City, where he got a job as a mercenary for an upstart gang, which called themselves the Demons. Having nowhere else to go he decided finally to become a full time member of the Demons at 20 and has been helping them in their battle against the Angels Weapons: One large modified handgun, with interchangeable parts for long range and short, as well as one short sword, used as a last resort. Finally, the gauntlets he uses for protection of his hands can inflict serious injury. Character Snippet: Age 15: Jacob stood outside of the building where the Neo-Mafia made their headquarters with contempt. They had struck your family down, he told himself. They deserve everything that?s coming to them. Not caring for stealth, he pulled out the handgun that had been so expensive and shot the window, shattering it, then leaped inside, his thick boots crunching the glass beneath him. A guard standing at the doorway was just starting to awaken from the noise, but before he could even yawn, Jacob pointed the gun at the guard's head and fired, the bullet hitting its mark. He heard noise coming from the rooms nearby, and pointed his gun at the door in the next room, firing as soon as anyone got in his path. But after a couple of deaths, they wizened up and went for their automatic guns, spraying fire everywhere. Jacob rolled out of the way, taking cover behind a door. When fire lessened, he waited, then, to test the safety, he put part of his cloak into gang members' view, only to have a hole blown in it instantly. Cursing to himself, he leapt out, rolled onto the floor, and took out the gang members in the hallway, then rolled to avoid fire again and shot down those to his right. By that time, bodies littered the floor, but Jacob could tell that there was still more of the gang left when he heard footsteps. He whirled to his left, but found to his surprise only one man standing. He was even further surprised when he vaguely recognized the face. How could he forget that face, the face that killed his parents? But just before he could pull the trigger, a shot range out, and a huge impact hit Jacob in the chest, sending him reeling and making him drop his gun. The chest armor had saved his life, but it had been bent by the bullet, making it bend inward and hampering his breathing. His parents' killer, surprised, stood there staring, not realizing Jacob had armor, giving Jacob the opportunity to run past him, heading through the hallway, blindly turning this way and that. It must have been fate that took him to that room. Fate, or dumb luck. He found himself in a room full of weapons, guns, daggers, poison darts, and even a short sword. But before he could choose a weapon, he could hear the footsteps of the murder coming closer. Just as he came through the door, Jacob grabbed the closest thing to him, the short sword, and stabbed him in he stomach. His parents? killer stood for a second then slumped down, dead at his Jacob's feet. Cold sweat running down him, Jacob knew that the other gang members were coming, and that he no longer needed to kill them, his vengeance satisfied. Turning, he almost discarded the sword, but, thinking better of it, took it with him, putting it in its scabbard and attaching it to his outfit. Then he left the building, left town, never to be seen or heard from again, taking with him only his weapons and a name from his parents Bible. Abbadon.

Good. Creepy, but good. I liked how it loops at the end, setting the whole thing off agian. I can't really fix the structure, since it doesn't rhyme and I can't put my finger on the rythem. But excellent poem nonetheless. I can't really critize this one.

Well, since no one has posted, and I wish to continue the story, I guess I have no choice but to double post. At least if I do, then I'll get SOMEONE to post here besides myself and the one person who seems to have taken intrest in it. Chapter 3 It felt good to be hunting in the late afternoon light, racing through the forest without the slightest sound, moving with inhuman speed, though it was somewhat diminished because of his injury. Earlier that afternoon, he had spotted a herd of deer and, telling Aroha (the name of the woman that had saved him) to expect venison, he took off. Now, after an hour of pacing himself to keep out of sight from the family of deer, he came upon the place they had chosen to graze. Slowly, carefully, he circled them until the largest one, a buck, was thirty feet in front of him. Hiding himself behind a tree, he picked up a medium sized rock and, aiming carefully, he through it so that the rock hit a tree somewhere behind the buck with considerable force. Almost instantly, the heard scattered, and the buck when straight forward, as Umbra had planned. Still behind the tree, Umbra listened to the footsteps of his prey, waiting until it was about to pass him. Then stretched his arm out, grabbed the buck by the neck, and used its own speed against it by steering it into the tree itself, breaking the tree and rendering it unconscious. His hand still on the neck, Umbra used his other hand to twist the head until the spine broke, killing the deer. Leaning to rest on what remained of the broken tree, he placed his hand on his abdomen, now covered with a thin layer of skin but still damaged on the inside, to determine if the struggle had caused it to reopen. It had not, so, picking up the body of the deer, he turned and walked back to Aroha?s home. By the time he returned, the sun had just begun setting in the sky. Aroha had made a fire in the expectation that Umbra had been successful in trying to hunt deer, but it was more than that. She had taken the time to build the fire without any guarantee that Umbra would not run from her, trusting that he would stay, and upon seeing this, Umbra smiled slightly. His smile broadened when he saw, lying next to sturdy tree, was a rope to hang the carcass up, so that cutting the meat out of the kill would be easier. Tying the buck to the tree, he called to her, ?You?re quite the prepared one, aren?t you?? ?When one has Demons over as household guests, one must always be prepared.? was her reply as she fed the fire. Umbra was still grinning somewhat even after he had carved the meat out of the body and was roasting it over the fire. The meat was placed on large, flat stone, carved to be thin, and the stone itself was suspended by two other stones so low that flames of the fire regularly went higher than the stone itself. Soon, the fat sizzled and the smell of cooked meat filled the air, until Aroha finally came out and said, ?Are you trying to torment me? You know I haven?t eaten for hours, and that aroma is making me realize just how famished I really am.? ?I killed this animal with my own two hands. You don?t get to eat it for free.? Shaking her head, Aroha walked back into her house, but Umbra had seen the barely suppressed smile on her face. He placed the cooked meat into a large stone plate left out for him, and took it into the house. Inside, the table was set, with Aroha already seated. There was boiled vegetables, bread, and water to drink, with an empty place in the center large enough to set down the stone plate Umbra carried. Gently he set it down, then took the other seat, which was seated opposite of her. Neither of them had eaten all day, so immediately they began to devout their food ravenously. The food was plain enough, but somehow Umbra found himself enjoying this food like he had not for longer than he could remember, if at all. At their rate of consumption, it wasn?t long before the entire meal was gone, not even a scrap of meat left. Not fully sated, Aroha stared at the table, as if to find some unnoticed piece. After awhile, Umbra broke the silence. ?You live alone, but this table has two chairs. Why is that? Surely you didn?t know that I would dine with you.? This had been on the back of his mind, but an appropriate time where nothing urgently needed to be done until now. But upon saying this, Umbra regretted it. Aroha?s face suddenly saddened, and she turned her gaze from the table to her own plate. When he saw the changes I her, he quickly assured, ? If it pains you for any reason, you don?t?? ? It?s alright,? she interrupted softly. ? I wasn?t always alone. I lived here with my husband, who built this entire house and furniture by himself.? Then, not waiting for the inevitable question, she continued, ?About a month ago, he went to the village to trade. But he didn?t come back for days, so finally I went to the village myself, not knowing what had happened to him. I asked around, but they said they hadn?t seen anyone fitting that description. Then some one told me there had been a body found matching the description I had given. They said that he?? she trailed off, then gathered herself together and finished. ??that he had been attacked by demons out in the woods, and had been run through the heart. I couldn?t believe that, wouldn?t believe that so I went to check for myself?? she trailed off again, this time not resuming. Her eyes were moist, but her face had hardened. ?I am sorry to hear that.? he said, not knowing what else to say. Standing up, he picked up all the dishes and put them away without a word, then left her, all the while deep in thought.[I] Why did she save me? If her story is true, wouldn?t she hate all Demons? I can pass as human easily, but she must have known when she saw that I had recovered so quickly[/I]. He left for the room, thinking these things and, consequentially, why he had not killed her, not even thought of it. He could find no answer, and this troubled him. Never before had he acted irrationally like this, and if his Demon brethren knew what he was doing, he would be exiled or executed immediately. Yet it seemed none of this mattered anymore, these consequences. And why he didn?t, he didn?t know. Frustrated, he went back into the room where he had first woken up, and, preferring to sit leaning against the wall instead of lying down, he fell into an uneasy sleep. He was awoken by a faint sound, that of a person walking toward the house. Umbra sat and listened to it, prepared to attack if it entered the house, but it stopped fifteen feet in front of the house. Then a voice called out, a voice that Umbra thought vaguely familiar but could not place. It said, ?Demon! Come out at once! You may have tricked the owner of this house into thinking that you are harmless, but you cannot fool me.? There was silence, then, ?If you do not come out, I shall use my spiritual power to destroy this house, and you with it.? Umbra bit his lip involuntarily. If he walked out there, he might not survive another encounter. But the alternative was worse. If he stayed, the Priest would surely do as he said. The Sigurd Preston were known for their ruthlessness and that they would sacrifice the lives of others in order to kill Demons. Without any other choice, Umbra made his way over to the door, but he was surprised too find Aroha stepping out. ?You, woman, get out of my way so that I may destroy the house and the evil that lies within.? the priest said. ?NO!? she called out. ?He isn?t evil. I won?t allow you to do this!? ?You must know that he is a Demon. He has deceived you. I warn you, if you don?t step aside, I will kill you. This is your final warning!? ?I don?t believe?? her voice was cut off instantly, replaced by the sound of an explosion. Umbra?s blood ran cold. He stepped outside, and to his horror found a small crater, blackened with heat, and in the center of it lied the charred skeletal remains of Aroha, which Umbra?s eyes saw but didn?t register. Slowly, his mind going numb from anguish and fury, he turned to face the priest.

I really wouldn't want to be famous. I never really did like most people, especilally those who come from a fan following. (ie: The ones who love you one minute then leave you when the next new thing arrives. The same goes for the opposite, the obseesed folower wanting to get your hair.) If I were to be known, it be as a musician, composer, or conducter. You don't get crazy people following you with those. Too. I'd liek to be an author, but I'd probably create a pen-name and put down that I live in Russia, so people wouldn't find me.

I've got one, though its a bit old. I remeber hearing the Catholic church complaining about Harry Potter movie, how it was evil and supported witchcraft, don't watch it, ect. Then I hear that they said that Lord of the Rings movie was a good movie for the family. What part of that made sense to you? I can see where they are coming from with Harry Potter, although, be reasonable, its just a kids story. HTere's nothing sinister about there spells. If you listen, you'll even be be able to see what they mean. (WINGardium LEVIosa, LUMOS). I watched Th Lord of the Rings, and if they consider Harry Potter bad, then they should hate Lord of the Rings even more. Yet they don't. They endorse it, even. they put 2 and 2 together and got 5.

Yes, you got the message across, and very beautifuly, as well. I think its good you didn't ryme, because that would have limited the freedom you had to say what you wanted. (Though if you had pulled it off, it would have been spectacular.) The only advice I can give is on the rythem, how many syllabels are in each sentence. Try and keep the length (in syllabels) the same throughout the poem (except the last one. but you can have all the last ones last the same lenght.) Other than that, its a pretty good poem.

"Mikhail..." she repeated. "The Archangel Michael..." she said this last name slowly, as if tasting how the name felt on her lips. If he could free her, set her loose upon the world, and free her of this Abyss, who's Lord was no more than a jester who fancied his wooden chair more grand then the gold of the King's, but plotted treachery agianst him all the same. If she could be free of him, to do as she pleased... But why would Mikhail, Archangel of Heaven, save her? Besides, Hell was a place devoid of the Holy, where no one could reach Heaven, and no one in Heaven could reach Hell. Except... Except God himself, Creator of all things. But how? How would she convince God to take her to the mortal world just to torment the Humans he loved so much? But what had Lucifer said that his weakness was? "True, He may be powerful, but he loves to much. Can you imagine how great a Fool he is to love the ones who killed His only son? And it was all because of me, Satan, the most powerful in all Creation..." even from the memory, she couldn't stand his pride, his conviction that Hell was by far a better place to live in. But how could it be great, this Chasm, when all around the souls of the damned were tortured, ridiculed, and jeered at. Mercy. Forgivness. Those are God's weaknesses. If she were to pray to him, ask for redemption, would he refuse her? would he be able to tell that she was decieving him? There's only one way to find out. She had to act fast. Satan claimed to be omipresent, but in his pride he believed that he was more powerful than God himself. The pride of the Fall. Lowering herself onto her knees, she cired out, "Oh, merciful Father, what have I done? You created the Heavens and the Earth, day and night, Eden, which in my sin I was unable to inherit. I know that I deserve no mercy, and the punishment I recieve now is what I deserve, but I beg your forgiveness. Please." HTen a voice spoke to her. The voice Lucifer so long had wished to mimic. "Child, my child, I forgive you of your Sin agianst me. is it no I who says, 'Come, you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and have you no money, come buy wine and milk without money and wothout cost.' I send my archangel, Michael, to take you to me, so that we may be joined in Heaven." Then, as she felt the Prescence leave, she saw in the red sky a light, as bright as Satan himself, but it was not the light of a fallen angel, but a real one, whose Glory is that of God. He descended in front of her, brilliantly illuminated, but dislike plain in his eyes. [I]I will never understand how He can be so merciful, that he would for give you, who betrayed him through Sin. But it isn't my place to doubt His wish[/I] Having said this, he extended his hand to her, and she took it. Just then, a voice that shook the entire Abyss thundered, "HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME, WHO GAVE YOU ALL MY GLORY!" She turned to see Lucifer, eyes ablaze, his unholy light nearly blinding her. [I]And what glory is that? The pit, where the souls of those who chose not to be forgiven by God, and instead chose their one path and now wallow in their Sin, as you do? [/I] " I SHALL NOT BE SPOKEN TO IN THAT MANNER IN MY KINGDOM!!" THe furyrolling of Satan was so great that it was almost a tangible thing. [I]Kingdom? Your "Kingdom" is nothing compared to that of God. If you are truly master of this place, then stop my ascent to Heaven with Lilith. [/I] After saying that, Mikhail started to ascend, Lilith in his arms. Lucifer screamed and ranted sacriligous things, but could no more stop Michael from leaving than he could stop his fall from Heaven. All this Lilith saw and secretly relished, enjoying the defeat of the one who would have made himself her master. When she finally could not see any demons, she thrust herself off of Mikhail, much to his surprise, and fell, descending to the mortal world that she had been denied before Michael could stop her.

I can't beleive I missed that.I watched the Matrix 1,2, and 3. I see what your saying. spilling the beans kind of ruins the story. As for zero's meaning nothing, in computer, zero's mean "off" where as ones mean "on" so zero's do carry information, in a way, but its like getting a newspaper that says "The world is turned off today, so there's nothing to report." so your right. sort of. Armed with this information, I see now that it was pretty good. To bad I realized it a little to late. I guess my only critisism is to make it easier for readers to figure it out. Like, for instance, the men with suits (who i assume to be Agents) a give away could have been "...and, oddly enough, wore sunglasses at this time of night..." if I had missed that, I'd really felt stupid. Sorry I could't figure it out by myself.

I agree with you about Super Milk Chan, it was pointless. There was nothing that it succeeded in. The one thing it set out to do, be humourus, it failed miserably. As for others, nothing really. I seem to have a more open mind when it comes to anime I like (ie I have lower standerds thaan most of the people here) I remember hating Reign much, but it was so long ago, and I paid so little attention to it, I've forgotten. Thats it for me.

Nice poem. I agree with Blackkittenus that the metaphores are excellently used, and the feeling of the poem, the way it "flows", works well, not a single line out of place. As for the mood, depressing it is. Someone hurt you in some way? Or if this isn't based on something that happened, all the more power to you. Sorry I can't help with constructive critisism, but I was never to terribly good with poems, anyway (though stories, on the other hand...) I look forward to reading anything else you post.

I know what its like to post something you think is good, only to have others ignore you, so I'll post. I may just be stupid, but I can't get a feel for whats going on. Not plot wise, mind you, but the actions that are happening. The first line, for instance, saying he was lost in a sea of zeros, what does that mean? Simply that he had nothing, noplace, or is it something else? The other thing is the trace carrier anomoly terminated. Is that what the phone says to him, or something outside of the events refering to the events? Since I can't figure out what you're trying to say, I really can't comment much. I can only hope you've put the holes in there on purpose, so you can fill them in with your next posts. From what I understand of it, anyway, is that you've got some good ideas going, but what I can't tell. Hopefully, I'm correct in assuming that the story's incomplete and that you'll post more.