Lady Macaiodh

[color=darkblue]even though i'm rather good at it, math to me is like sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol. this is why i love my graphing calculator. as long as we're telling ridiculous teacher stories, i've got a couple. my old algebra teacher used to wear the same pants every day, or at least one pair for days in a row. we knew this b/c one time he was sitting in front of the class as always but there was a huge hole in his crotch. the hole remained for several days. to prove that he rarely changed, my friend cam [i]drew[/i] a smiley face on his butt w/ a marker when he was helping another student. he must not have noticed b/c the smiley face was there for a long, long time. it was really very distracting. i know teachers don't get paid much, but damn. go to the clothes closet or something.[/color]

[color=darkblue]well, i'm not sure how far that is from where you are (not too familiar w/ england, lol), but if it's going to be a problem meeting up w/ her for regular visits, i'd say move on to someone else. you've only been dating for 5 weeks, anyway. not exactly a deep relationship here. why don't you keep in touch w/ her by e-mail just as friends? maybe one day you'll live near each other again & you can go from there. p.s. you've only made 3 posts, so why don't you hang around awhile & get to know us? there are a lot of really cool, nice people here. you just need to find a few you connect with. :) (the main reason i responded was to tell you that. you just need to learn the rules around here. you're new, it's no big deal.)[/color]

[color=darkblue]first of all, if they're breaking the law (a minor & an adult in a sexual relationship, etc.), that's a bad idea. but as others have said, once you've reached a "mature" age (around 21), it doesn't matter [i]all that much[/i], keeping in mind that some people mature faster than others. it completely depends on the mindset of the people involved. also, the feelings must be genuine. for example, if a middle aged man marries a young woman to have a "trophy wife" & she marries him for his money, that's just sick. sex is also an issue. i've had male friends date much older women b/c both parties are at their sexual "peak" (males--early 20's, females--early to mid 40's). this is somewhat controversial. however, it has its benefits, heheh. the oldest guy i've dated was 35. this was about 2 years ago. i didn't really see his age per se... we liked to have fun in the same ways & had a lot in common. he also cracked me up w/ stories of his life experiences--there were a ton. i feel like i learned a lot from him. we both knew we were just having fun & that it wasn't serious. it didn't feel weird to me. at first my friends were skeptical, but after they hung out w/ him they thought he was really cool. you're only as young/old as you feel. maybe you want someone more mature than the people your age. maybe you want someone less mature. i don't think it's really a cut-&-dry issue. all these factors have to be considered.[/color]

[color=darkblue]my first job was the k-mart customer service desk. returns, 4 phone lines, complaining customers, rainchecks, cash register, collecting money bags, making change, sorting god knows what--oh, the humanity. good thing i'm a multi-tasker. all this for a measley $6 an hour. if not for the :smoke: (& i don't mean cigs) breaks, i would have gone insane. [/color]

[color=darkblue]honey, if you lived where i do, you'd have about 5 heart attacks a day. the [i]worst[/i] thing recently was when i was hanging next to brook road at about 11 at night & a bunch of shots rang out. we saw an SUV tearing off out of the strip club. when we got there, we saw a guy with the top of his head completely gone lying in the parking lot. it took about 30 seconds for a dozen cop cars to pull up (the police station is right down the street). it was over a bad coke deal, i believe. that was a couple months ago. you get used to it.[/color]

[color=darkblue]i was a bit of a jock/tomboy growing up, but my favorite by far was gymnastics. i did that for about 10 years. it was my love & obsession. i had this crazy notion of going to the '96 olympics. unfortunately, i busted my knee landing a vault wrong. my kneecap was on the side of my knee, not the front. & my back was pretty banged up, too. i was told the next day i could never compete again. i think my descent into rebellion began that day. bah. sometimes i try to tumble in a field or something, but i chicken out on anything harder than a back handspring. i think i have a mental block of some sort. sucks. [/color]

[color=darkblue]good god, how could any of you let a [i]baby[/i] die?!?[/color]

[color=darkblue]a lot of this is just the awkwardness of growing up. guys & girls still don't fully know how to relate, understand, or talk to one another at that point. guys used to really baffle me (in the romantic sense). when i was a teenager, i'd've almost rather died than tell someone i liked them. you should see me now. i'm a huge flirt, & if i hit on someone & they reject me, so what? there are only 5.9 billion others in the world. also, now... heheh, guys are so easy to read, it's not even remotely funny (no offense meant). once y'all have experienced a little more of that sort of interaction, understanding the opposite sex will be a lot easier.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by b3atr3d [/i] [B][COLOR=firebrick]Yeah, like that would ever happen.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=darkblue]actually, that's what i did the second half of my senior year (though i did have to come in more than twice). i just wish i could've done it sooner![/COLOR]

[color=darkblue]conformity is the bane of any society, american or otherwise. also, the answers to these questions seem relatively obvious. give us a hard one, something people will disagree over.[/color];) :p

[color=darkblue]so many people have asked me how to pronounce my name since i joined, it's not even funny. Mc-Kaid Mc-Kade either one. it's scottish. not nearly so hard to say as it looks, yes? i've thoroughly given up on people learning how to spell it correctly. but i'm used to that sort of thing, since most people spell my real-life first name wrong.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Celia [/i] [B][color=0099FF] [size=1]Do you think one of your friend(s) would be talking about you and pretending to be your friend? Once they are with you, they talk about somebody else. And when they are with other people, they talk about you?[/color] [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=darkblue]oh, yeah, definitely. even really close friends sometimes talk about each other, like if they're mad & need to vent. but you're talking about gossip, right? well, you can definitely count on that. it's human nature, i think. there are some people who resist that sort of pettiness, but others just have no self control. & of course, there's the whole "user" issue, where people pretend to like someone in order to gain something from them... popularity, for example. why worry about it, though? you can't really know for sure what people are thinking or saying about you, so don't let it bother you. many times, it's not even based on truth anyway. my advice is to choose your friends wisely. time will tell who the true ones are. i used to have tons of friends, but i decided to limit my circle to those i could really trust. quality, not quantity, in my opinion.[/COLOR]

[color=darkblue]are you the only thing they have in common, or were they ever friends before? if they weren't, you'd be best to hang w/ them seperately. if you've already confronted them about it but they still won't quit fighting around you, i don't see what more you can do. sometimes people just don't get along. as for them complaining to you about each other, you've got to put your foot down--firmly. tell them bluntly you don't want to hear it. don't even let them finish a sentence. that's just BS, that they would put you in the middle, so don't let them. this same thing has happened to me. take my advice, or you might end up resenting them both. [/color]

[color=darkblue]anything by Sublime has special meaning for me. there's no way i could pick just one song. the reason i love them is b/c they sing about just as many messed up things that happen as any other band, but they put a humerous spin on it. for example, i feel like they're saying, "yeah, things are ****ed up, but i'll make it anyway. what are you supposed to do, sit around and cry about it?" i personally love laughing way too much. usually, when i'm talking about something really screwed that happened to me, i die laughing. things are a lot funnier in retrospect. i used to listen to really dark, angry, music... & still do, sometimes. but i found that it made me feel more depressed if that's all i filled my head with. there is one song that i'm really into right now: "Love Ridden" by Fiona Apple. it perfectly describes how i'm feeling about the break-up w/ my husband. it sort of says "i've done everything i could, i've tried so hard... & now it's time to let you go."[/color]

[COLOR=darkblue]i've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately (well, okay, more than usual) so this is actually a timely thread. maybe i'll figure something out as i'm writing. [i][b]who am i in my own mind?[/b][/i] i see myself as a person who--through circumstance as well as choices--has been through much hardship in order to prepare me for a great task that lies ahead. i don't know what that is yet... i think i'd like to become a doctor so i can start a free clinic & work w/ the homeless. i am a very empathetic person, but i can be selfish, too. i have a tendency to bury my feelings so i won't get hurt. i almost feel that emotions are a weakness, even though i'm extremely emotional. maybe i'm in denial... i'm not very satisfied w/ myself. i've struggled w/ numerous mental illnesses, & i'm long from "cured." i'm just starting to pull the pieces of my life together. so much has happened... the break-up of my marriage & all the abuse that it entailed... years of homelessness... the mental institutions... addiction... more things than i can possibly name. i try to figure out where it all began, but i can't. i've been on this downward spiral for as long as i can remember. but what of these things makes me who i am? we are colored by [i]all[/i] our experiences, but refined by the bad ones. this is what i believe. i feel i've hit the bottom & have started the upward climb for the first time in my life. but i'm having to build the ladder myself as i go. [i][b]how do others see me?[/b][/i] i baffle people a lot. people don't really understand me. they see me as wild, crazy, out-of-control. i've been told over & over that i've wasted my genius. my friends know i will never "screw" them, they can always count on me in times of need, even though i can't always be there for little things (like just hanging out). i'm extremely loyal to the people i love. my parents think i'm troubled & want to help me all the time. i'm just finally starting to let them. my brothers know what i've been through & relate to me. i'm an outsider in my extended family... "the freak." during my school years, i was a freak & a nerd, & seen as having horrible rebellion as well as anger problems. &, as for all of you on the boards... well, i guess only you could answer that. ;) [i][b]how do you want others to see you?[/i][/b] i'm not sure. on one hand, i do want people to get to know the real me & appreciate it. on the other, that seems like way too much of a risk. someone would have to get a wrecking-ball to tear down the walls around me. well, that's about it. also, i'd like to say to ravenstorture, you remind me more of myself in these posts than anybody else. i almost could have written what you did, but i'm in one of those analytical moods right now.[/COLOR] :smoke:

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by NorykoAngelcry [/i] [B][COLOR=darkred][SIZE=1]I agree with you L.M. I don't think I ever was one to get upset easily over things my siblings would do (some would say I am too nice. . what'cha gonna do about it, right?), but it seemed that everyone got on everyone's nerves from time to time. I know my sister used to never get along with my third oldest brother, but now, our entire family is really close. My sister and I are planning to go to the same college (Yes, I am finally going back *pats self on back* lol). It will be a very unique experience, but with her being the youngest in a family of guys, we are somewhat protective of her. Well, even going out of state, I get to keep an eye out for her for a little while longer. We get along great, so I think it will be a very good experience for both of us. Well. . I will shut up now *bows out gracefully* [/SIZE][/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=darkblue]i guess w/ all the brothers & sisters you've got... you [i]have[/i] to get along, otherwise you'd kill each other![/COLOR]

[color=darkblue]yes, yes... navi turned me onto them. i was kind of messed up psychologically for the next few days after i read [i]game[/i] and [i]shadow[/i].[/color]

[color=darkblue]i started to tolerate him during the buu saga (but i do wish he'd lose that fro, though). [/color]

[color=darkblue]i don't like her just because she looks stupid. [/color]

[color=darkblue]yeah, we've been getting snow frequently on the east coast this winter. more than i can remember in years. in fact, it's snowing right now, & has been since last night. i love it, even if it means the pipes are always frozen.[/color]

[color=darkblue]i have 2 younger brothers. i think all siblings get on each others nerves when they're young, but they grow out of it. we get along great now. we just had to lose the attitudes. [/color]

[color=darkblue]i don't look like anyone. this is a blessing is disguise. my husband gets mistaken for leo dicaprio constantly. the resemblance is uncanny. once, we actually got cussed out in burger king by these young girls b/c they thought he was lying about who he was so he wouldn't have to give them an autograph! & you could tell they wanted to murder me just for being with him. [/color]

[color=darkblue]i've had a tatoo for about five or six years... but to me it's not about "fashion" or whatever. it's a rather large celtic cross between my shoulder blades. i think knotwork is one of the most beautiful art forms. it has a deep meaning for me b/c i'm scottish & very spiritual... i designed it myself, so it also has other little things in it that are important to me. i've never once regretted getting it. funny story... my friend got the rune for "disruption" on herself awhile back.... & her life was in coplete chaos for years until she had it covered up! & piercings... don't get me started. i love them. i've have 13 at once before (though i only have 5 now.. kind of outgrew the freakier ones). [/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Juuthena [/i] [B][color=ff00cc] [size=1]It's a strange thing, really... I haven't cried for a year, I think... And just now I realize exactly how much I've held in.[/color] [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=darkblue]ahh, yes. i do the same. when i get upset, i just sort of shut down inside & go numb. the thing is, i often [i]want[/i] to cry, but i can't. i feel that weird ache in my throat (you know what i mean) & i think to myself "get out, get out, get out!" but the most i can do is tear up occasionally. i've always been this way. then, every couple of years, i burst into tears over something really stupid, like the theme song for 7th Heaven (that really happened once). i know that's my way of getting it out. i can't let myself cry over something that matters, b/c i'd have to admit it's bothering me. see what i mean? i'm glad for the boards, b/c it's the one place i can talk about my feelings.[/COLOR]

[color=darkblue]hmmm... never played those kind of card games before. but i've never lost at strip poker, heheh.[/color]