Noir_vagabond

Hey I apperciate your critque. You pointed out my flaws and what I can do to change them, while signaling out my strengths to balance the critque. That is what all writers deserve whether the writing sucks or not.

Suicide saddness calming the unborn child. Mother got addicted to love through a needle. Helpless to leviate the situation all the while. The doctors cry for retrieval. Formality steps in soothing the lost teenage mom. The poor child is rendered an abomiantion Poor little babe obessed with cocaine love. He is now oblivious to his hatred. Listening in to the people, and how they think they know whats wrong. His ears are begining to bleed. His fists begin to clench an onslaught is coming strong. He can't help his anger, it's no longer his to keep. Odium steps in taking the role of a misanthropic parent. How he gains comfort from his bloodstained bedroom wall. He wrists are raised with pretty scars, and the straightjacket is new apparel. Now the whitecoats stream in, drugs in a pretty little medicine cup. They try to resuscitate him yet he does not move. His dream is better if he doesnt wake up. Yet finally he is able to reach a pale hand out, and take the abuse. Of a thousands serrated pills each one harder to swallow. The restraints are tighter now the doctors look forlorn. The boy no longer holds onto anything his face growing hollow His will to live is no longer strong enough to fight his apparent want. But then something changes as he struggles to hear a softer voice An echo of a melodious tune Thankfully heaven has called him for a new purpose The purpose to save the abused. Now, this poem is a rough work. I wrote for someone dear to me who has had this same thing happen to him. Its a sad poem yet in the end some traquilty happens from the volley of pain..I would like someone to read this and give pointers on which lines need a little work, It's a special poem to me cause it helped save a dear friend of mine and I am hoping to publish it, so Please help!

When you come up with a plot, though mind you a descent one, I would be happy to lend myself to your story! Samurai stories can be both fantasy and realistic, so if you need help with any of the ideas or so I can help you. I'm pretty diverse in samurai folklore as well as samurai history. You ask and I shall lend a hand!

Liars are trying to tell the truth behind their facade. Thinking they can conform themselves into something better than what they are. I am who I say I am and nothing more I shall be. I care not how others feel. I care not how they try. I need not change my tactics I need not become a lie. The Echelon is my way To win this fruitless war And when the world changes I shall become something more For I said and I shall say again I will not change myself for them. For I once was a fake image..I was a fool locked inside. I became a memory, a joker in a poker game of denial. Falling down into the bottemless pits of despair I finally hit the bottem I thought it could not get worse then here Until I was staring at myself through an empty vodka bottle I saw a reflection of a liar Trying to be something she's not Finally confessing her hatred Unravling her spiral of thoughts Giving in to the wake of depression I found some truth I gave a simple confession To transform myself for no other. To become an essence better than myself. A purity of innocence once again living free And when I am ready to die I know my true self shall be waiting for me.

I raised my hand to speak just a few words. I was denied my own truth. I cried for some honesty. No one heard what I asked. I wished for the beauty that would belie friendship. I wished for resolve. I relinquished my authority for some answers. But none came to my aid. Somewhere in this prison Somewhere I crawl. I asked for forgiveness I asked for love When the world denied me happiness When the world crashed down I had your loving arms to accept my verdict Of being guilty So now I watch you take my fall The one that belongs to me alone And I wonder how you came to love me In my angelic demise An oxymoron I am Lyrical but I cannot speak I feel lost within your presence Your beauty is unfathomable Your silken voice is my retreat Where have I seen such wonder Where have I seen such honesty You are the echo over my voice The constant ring of majestic poise I have fallen for you so quick And now I feel no wrong in doing so Though I have felt that way before Thank you for taking my place Thank you for loving me as I am My echo.. To echoavalon And all his lyrical majesty

Name: Asuka Karasugi Age-15 Born- Owari Japan Weapon- Kunai Weapon Name- Kage, and Kaze ( Shadow and wind) Weapon Syle- Kazemaru Ryu Ninjitsu Ken (Wind Ninjistsu Style) Family- High Priest Hiero Background- Asuka was born into a high Shinobi clan. Her father Heiko brought Asuka up around the art of Wind Ninjitsu style of fighting and later gave her the weapons Wind and Shadow after hearing of a sword of power. Leaving quickly Heiko wrote often to his daughter he left in the care of Hiero his brother at nearby shaolin temple. One day the letters stopped coming. Immedietly Hiero sent out some on the clan to find his brother. Days passed and no word came to be until a dark night when only one of the clan returned. Heiko dead on his shoulder. The clan members last words were " It killed him, the thirst to destroy it...It lives" Asuka learning of her fathers death and his ambition to destory something evil took up the Kunai and began to train under the tutalige of Hiero. She vowed to avenge her father in the Kage Shinobi Karasugi's honor. Appearence-http://www.animegalleries.net/albums/userpics/15726/Ninja_Girl_anime.jpg

Her hair falls about her face, just a placcid expression Oh how he loves her taste, an orgasmic definition She fights against her restraints, how he loves her screams His face is her morbid fantasy, he rapes her in his dreams He wants to see her beauty as he slices her sweet veins steals her flesh Maschistic tendicies justified homicide how he loves taking in her breath Her smell of fear her delicious fluid both blood and cry alone This is what he lives for to snare at marrow and bone Clothing her in her ceramonial gown He then cuts it away to listen to the shredding sound Now shes bleeding nows shes screaming And he is enduring all the euphoria of her needing To be let go from his loving arms from his knife This is his Twisted Maiden his last kill for the night Just maybe he might find another as sweet and innocent as she But if not her blood will sustain his cruel brutality

Scarlet red was the silhouette, the dress of a sadistic symphony. Thrones of gold and shadowed crimson harmony. Am I lost within the sphere of redundant liars? Or am I drowning upon the pier of denial? Poked through until the rib cage is forever pulled from the hide in which it breathes Is a replica of myself an obliteration of what I could be. Torn apart flesh leaving its rotted coagulated pieces of blood on the floor Is the eradication of the astral procjection of what I was Taking back being guilty shaking my head as I stand on trial Wanted by the masses, denying my exile Am I ready to take up my sword Made from my own twisted spinal chord Shall I fight for homicidal justice? Shall I crawl from those who want my breath Am I ready to leave my past crimes unrecorded Before I freely accept my death

Anime eyes. Always Japanese animation use the eyes as a form of expression. They are always slanted and darkened in color for enimies however is it is a beautiful enemy they tend to be large and light colored. Look a different anime art, take some of the more dark anime like Jun-oh( More realitic anime like drawing). Or look at some of the less dramatic realistic animes. For innocence always large eyes with soft hues seem to work the best. And for shady characters small eyes with dark colors followed by elongated hooked eyebrows. This is just a thought hope I helped.

Well... My favorite anime of all time is BLUE GENDER- Mainly because the series shows human emotion at the most pivotel of times. When humanity is demolished and life is sacred. I love this series because of the darkness they put behind the bloodshed and how they can show human emotion so quickly. The creator had no problem allowing laughter and sexuality be apart of the action and gore. The Movie seems to be one of my favorite as well for it also shows humans and how they react at their weakest moments. And certainly we shall be the destruction of ourselves.

Saddness, Its a dress for you aint it? Beautiful how you create such melencoly pain yet allow such majestic art to come forth. Truly a gift

OOC: Sorry for not being on as well internet was down...And again sorry for the rapid fire posting. Noir tried to shake off the feeling of this pain and longing. The past night she felt wonderful, every orface has screamed euphoria and that was what troubled her. Cracking her neck she twirled the dagger in her hands trying to listen to the conversation before her. Something had triggered her to return to the underground laboratory of her father. Walking into the vacant doorway she closed her eyes and tried to get rid of the pain that infliltrated her heart. Glanicing to the wall she touched a small red stain. When her fingers hit the wall a excruiciating scream escaped her lips and she fell to her knees the dagger being flung aside. She could feel her back pulsing with an undescribable pain. It hurt so bad that Noir could barley see, withing moments her back began to split open and a voice called out to the inside of her head "Noir...Saynt, the child of hatred, the seraphim YOU are the ORACLE...." Noir tried to get up as her clothes burned away in an invisable flame. Her naked body dripped with sweat as she tried to gain some hold onto what was happening. After a few screams almost animalistic as they escaped into the vacant laboratory. As she stood up she was lifted into the air an astral projection floating beside her the light of the invisable flames. Holding her chest she cried as unspeakable pain awashed her skin. Then suddenly it stopped and two light grey wings protruded from her back, The ripped through her flesh and small blood trickled down her shoulders. Noir's vision went blank as she was gently laid down against the concrete. And again the voice caressed the darkness "Sleep beautiful angel you are needed for the salvation of mankind...but in this war surely you will perish" Noir went to sleep with the last remaining thoughts of Korbin and the hopes that he would resuce her from her own hell.

Sometimes there are these moments where ones hell is more than a failure to communicate something to another.... Don't worry all people play the facade at one time or another

Noir woke up sweat dripping from her brow. She glanced upwards at the lights that seemed to give off a pasty yellow glow. She rolled over and went to grab a pillow that she thought was near but her hand grazed flesh. Warm flesh that also had a hint of sweat trickling down it. Noir sat abruptly up her face flushed, letting her eyes avert down she realized that she was naked and her clothes were somewhere else. Getting quietly up out ofthe bed she darted to the wall that was covered in weaponary. Pulling off a small dagger she then hopped onto the bed startling the man sleeping there. Sheplaced the knife to his neck but when the lights flickered she gasped and smiled softly. The man that was straddled from her thighs was none other than Korbin. "Korbin" she said in a hasty breath. She leaned down and kissed his lips feeling the moistness of his soft flesh touch her shivering body. What emotions she felt in her chest was frightening and altogether maddening. She Pulled her lips away and waoke him gently. Reaching into the air a small disc appeared into her hands and she handed it to the hardly awake Korbin. "Korbin, Keep this disc safe...all the mainframes of Aros employes and thier designated assignments are on here, as well as some thing about me, and my father..." She removed herself from Korbin and clothed quickly leaving the vincinity she needed to think. Her mind was going over all the reasons why this was so wrong. "Why did I give him that disc it contains infomation about the Oracle cannon...about Project Blue, and about the seraphim of justice...me." Noir walked into the darkness hoping that he would not betray her. Aros needed her for the oracle cannon, and they would get the information any way and any how.

Noir shut the shower off. Something was making the internal security go haywire. Grabbing a similar piece of clothing to what she wore before Noir clothed herself in tight black leather onepiece. Walking into the front room she reached a computer and sat down. Looking at the large screen she accessed the secruity cameras. What her eyes darted over her breath became short. "He's here" she whipsered. Leaving the computer on standby she scaled the walls and pulled off a sword large and thick it's blade shining with metallic cruelty. She jammed the sword through the small hole on the back of her trench and walked to the front door. That same haunting womans voice echoed through the chamber. "The seraphim is about to murder those who have committed sins?" Noir looked up at the ceiling and smiled tying her hair into a high ponytail only her bangs covered her nice firm cheekbones. "No, The serpahim is about to learn answers, and she herself is about to sin.." Laughing sadistically Noir exited the area and filtered into the darkness waiting for him to arrive.