Albert Flasher

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations! You now have a copy of Stephen King's Dark Tower (Book I), which you read and than plagerise, thus removing your writer's block. No one notices, either, because no one on earth has ever succesfully read Stephen King's Dark Tower (Book I) but you, due to it's extreme length. Your book sets new records in sales. Stephen King writes a new story, in which you are the main character, and are eaten by a possesed toaster aptly named Earl. As it turns out, Stephen King is also a lvl46 dark wizard, and he makes this senario a reality. Pwnt. I wish I had cancer. (Oooo, whatchagonadonow, eh?)[/COLOR][/FONT]

[QUOTE=Retribution][size=1]To even insinuate that the current death-rate of Muslims brought about by Americans could possibly rival that of the holocaust is a sick and gross overstatement. There is no genocide occuring in Palestine and Israel -- a few American (torturous, granted) jails cannot be considered commiting genocide on a grand scale. [/size][/QUOTE][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna] Agreed. More people died at Auschwitz alone than than in this so-called Muslim genocide. It's rediculous to even think that the numbers are comparable. It's not like the Jews arrived at Isreal and said 'Hmm, I feel like slaughtering some Muslims!' They arrived with broken spirits and were in no position to attack or slaughter anyone. It was Muslim nations that started the conflict, and while I agree the provocation was there (I don't particularily agree with Isreal myself), it's pretty hard to blame Isreal for something the Muslim nations essentially started.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]My new favourite movie is High Tension (Haute Tension, as it is a French movie). On the surface, it's a great gore flick where excessive amounts of blood and murdering, which is exactly what I'm after, but it's much, much deeper than that. I won't spoil the ending for you, though. High Tension manages to achieve pure terror that Holly Wood has been failing to achive for years. It's an incredible movie. Plus a guy gets decapitated by a bureau... how sweet is that?[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]In all honesty? I hate this **** and I wish that the Yanks had never gone into the Mid East. But, as long as they're there, they might as well take out the real bad guys in the area, which really is Iran.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations! You're Bruce 'Chainsaw Hand' Campbell! Unfortunatly for you, you're signed on to do the new Duke Nukem movie! You die during the filming, when a man in a pig-cop suit falls on top of you, suffucating you slowly. You got killed by a pig-cop... embarassing. I wish I was more annoying.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Well doesn't that complicate things... why do people in these situations always seem to go to a Catholic school? :animesigh :animesigh That leaves you with two options if you don't want your friends to tell. First off, only tell the friends you trust most. Than, either ask them nicley not to spread any rumours, or threaten to feed them a brick wall. As for the attraction thing, well, tell them you're not. Unless you think they'd be offended for some reason. Other than that I don't really know what you could do... tell them your gay but not gay in that way or some cop-out answer to deflect the question.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations! You have your very own Chinese restaurant right in your kitchen! With a full staff of straight-from-China (or the general area) immigrents! Unfortunatly for you, Chinese people are, as everyone knows, carriers of the deadly SARS virus! You feel slightly ill for about 2-3 days. Muahahahah! I wish I was there to take the bullets for John Lennon, so he could go on and save rock n' roll! (and yes, dieing is part of my wish. Whatchagonado now, eh punks?!)[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Wear a shirt saying 'Brokeback Mountain rules!' You're friends will draw their own conclusions. Seriously though, the worst possible thing you can do is wait. Because once you start to wait it's going to build and build and build until it's one gigantic mess that consumes you and ruins your life. Best thing you can do is simply walk up to your friends, muster all the confidence you can, act natural, and say 'Hey there guys. Did I tell you I'm gay? Well, I am.' or something to that effect. Hopefyully they don't lynch you or anything, and your friends are idiots and it doesn't change anything.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations! You have an air conditioner! It makes it nice and cold for about 30 seconds, and which time it breaks. I laugh at you. In fact, everyone laughs at you. I wish I had a genie that granted me wishes so I wouldn't have to deal with you freaks and you're messed up ideas.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]*Note: the lyrics don't have the word 'Trap' in them, but it has something to do with the subject. It's all I could come up with.* 'All that we can do is just survive All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive Ragged lines of ragged grey Skeletons, they shuffle away Shouting guards and smoking guns Will cut down the unlucky ones I clutch the wire fence until my fingers bleed A wound that will not heal A heart that cannot feel Hoping that the horror will recede Hoping that tomorrow we'll all be freed Sickness to insanity Prayer to profanity Days and weeks and months go by Don't feel the hunger Too weak to cry I hear the sound of gunfire at the prison gate Are the liberators here? Do I hope or do I fear? For my father and my brother, it's too late But I must help my mother stand up straight Are we the last ones left alive? Are we the only human beings to survive?" Artist: Rush Song: Red Sector A New Word: Heart[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna] "Sometimes you can't make it on your own." Song: Sometimes You can't Make it on Your Own Artist: U2 New Word: La (as in, la-la-la-la) *please no more words used almost exclusivly in rap... it makes life hard on me :S* [/COLOR][/FONT]

[QUOTE=tanukioh]Ok, my bad. ^_^ I take it back, but still, I would like to keep fight from breaking out. (stuff like that always leads to fights at school) Possibly, but still, there are more ways to look at something than just scientifically analizing it. >.> This is what i'm trying to get accross. o.o besides, magic isn't supposed to exist, according to science, so it's not really scientific. ^_^ it's more of an art, I think.[/QUOTE][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna] Science is the study of the natural world. The natural world being everything. Either something is scientific... or it doesn't exist.That's the long and short of it. Does magic exist? I don't rule it out, but I don't rule out that Pamela Anderson's breasts are real either, but is that true? And sorry if I insulted anyone with that picture, I had it on my harddrive and needed somewhere to use it. It seemed appropriate. [/COLOR][/FONT]

[QUOTE=Wolf Rider] Here's a picture of someone holding a skinwalker statue. [img]http://www.aliendave.com/files/Photos/Creatures/Skinwalker_Lawrenceacquez.jpg[/img] [/QUOTE][FONT=Times New Roman] [COLOR=Sienna] And here's a picture of a man doing crack cocaine of a PCP pipe! :D [IMG]http://www.roadraceengineering.com/rreimages/crackpipe.jpg[/IMG] Connection? I think so.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[COLOR=DarkRed]LOL I cheat like, all the time! Like this one time, I was playing Starcraft, and I hate like 5 zerglings and a few hydralisks, and they had like 10 seige tanks and marines and fire bats and ****, and I was like 'lol n00bs' and like, pressed enter and typed 'poweroverwhelming' and I like totally owned them without even losing a unit LOL! Or this one time, I was like playing DiabloII and I like used my totally 1337 downloading skills and I downloaded a hack lol, and I made my barbarian like lvl99 and I was like 'Diablo lol' and Diablo was like '*** lol' and I go 'No you're a ***!' and he's like 'No YOU'RE a ***' and I'm like 'lvl99 whirlwind lol' and I killed him in like 5 seconds LOL! Wait... that's what you meant, wasn't it? [/COLOR]

[QUOTE=tanukioh] OH! I promised in my other thread that I would explain how my magic works! :P i almost forgot! It's like this: [color=DarkGreen]^_^ nature gives off energies that flow into the body. O.o it's kinda how if someone around you is in a good mood, they can make you in a good mood, or you can put them in a bad mood. Senergy, i think it's called. anyways, nature gives all living things energy. but it's not a 1 way link. We give energy back. By controlling what form the energy takes, where it goes, and what it does, we can cause things to happen. this is called "Magic". We also get energy from other living things, which is why we can do magic on them. ^_^ so basically, magic is controlled energy exchange that uses only a life form, its energy, and what the energy is acting on/acting to do. o.o that's my idea, at least. I think it applies to all magics. v.v but i'm not sure. what do you think? [/color] [/QUOTE][FONT=Times New Roman] [COLOR=Sienna] What do I think? You've watched one too many DBZ rerun. But that's besides the point. Just a little history listen from the Zigster here on witches that may not be relevent but is nontheless interesting. Ever wonder where the riding-a-broomstick idea came from? It's rather interesting. In parts of North America there is a tree that's sap acts as a drug, a euphoric drug at that, when it gets into the bloodstream. NOW, what is the quickest way to get something into you're blood stream? (Needles didn't exist at this time) For women at least, the vagina - and the blood capilliaries located there. You can figure out the rest. So than you must ask yourself... if flying broomsticks were made up, what about everything else about witches? It seems highly unlikely that they'd make up one thing and everything else would be true. What's the logical conclusion? [B] Witches. Do not. Exist. [/B][/COLOR] [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations! You've got a lightsaber! However, you're far from what would be called a 'jedi master.' In fact, you didn't even know the lightsaber you got was a [B]double-bladed[/B] saber. You hold the blade in front of you, hold your breath, and flick the switch, causing one end of the lightsabre to extend directly into you're stomech. Most embarassing death. [b]Ever[/b] I wish I had a pet Emperor Penguin.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]CONGRADULATIONS MY FRIEND! You can now absolutely PWNNNNNNNNn Sephiroth. HOWEVER, all is not well! After Sephiroth dies, you have to fight another even MORE powerful boss! You spend years trying to kill the boss, before you give up and use cheatcodes! Feeling ashamed, you than kill yourself. I wish I had highspeed internet. Come to think of it, I wish I had internet that downloaded more than 2 kbs.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[QUOTE=Heero yuy]Donnie Darko Cecil B. Demented Office Space The Big Lebowski I heart Huckabees V For Vendetta Wedding Crashers Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Get Shorty Be Cool Shaun Of The Dead Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle Gattaca Resivoir dogs End Of Eva Boondock Saints a lot more...[/QUOTE][COLOR=Sienna] [FONT=Times New Roman] You and I need to talk. That's esentially what I was going to put (minus Cecil B. Demented and I heart Huckabees). [/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]"We got back to the boat, but it wasn't there!" Anyone who loves terrible (aka hilarious) b-movies by a certian German director should get this in no time.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations! You're mom has allowed you to have a mohawk! Unforunatly for you, Prick Wizard has not! He ambushes you on your way from purchasing your freshly-sharpened mohawk, and rolls a 12, which beats your armour save and kills you on the spot. Owned by Prick Wizard. I wish I had a villain in a Scooby Doo episode.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Why, that can only be the colossal blockbuster Clue! How could anyone not get that?[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Ya... haha... that was way to easy... I never remember movie qoutes, so when I remember one I use it as much as I can :animesmil [/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Sorry this took so long: [QUOTE]Gort! Klaatu barada nikto![/QUOTE] Shouldn't be TOO hard if anyone was paying attention to the movie screenshot thread.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations! You now rule the universe! Unfortuantly for you, you have trouble keeping your bedroom in order, let alone manipulating even the SIMPLIST biochemical reactions. As a result, the entire universe goes exstinct. Except you. And since you're the immortal ruler of the universe, you cannot die. You live for eons. Alone. I wish I had a cookie. Not a cookie filled with poison or a snake cookie, I want a normal, regular, absolutely average CHOCALTE-CHIP COOKIE![/COLOR][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=Sienna]Congradulations, you've got some smokes and a Zippo lighter! You die form lung cancer. I laugh at you. Repeatadly. I wish I was a JEDI KNIGHT![/COLOR][/FONT]