Helmet_Hunter

Go into a public toilet and wait in a cubicle for someone to go for a dump. ( In a mall opposite McDonalds usually works best). If necessary move from your cubicle to the neighbouring cubicle. put peanut butter onto a piece of tissure paper and lob it under into their cubicle and calmly say "oops can you pass that back mate". After their initial shock, hold a mirror under the cubicle wall and go "peekaboo i can see you". you will either get the door smashed in and get pasted by the angry guy. or he will **** himself with shock and leg it.

My next door neighbour has...or should i say HAD a dog that barked constantly from 9am when they left for work, right up till 6pm when he got in. That mutt drove me crazy, crazy enough to toss the little bastard a juicy slice of poisoned meat. Now the peace and quiet and long lie ins have returned and life is good!

Im going goblin hunting up in the caves near where i live. they have been quiet all winter, as usual, but during the warm summer nights they tend to wander about and steal the local peasants and their sheep. With me being a LvL 67 trapper, me and my trusty wilderbeast sgt.snaps are entrusted to protect the people. If anyone wants to help and take a share in the goblins loot feel free to PM me, i'll even lend you a bow, although you have to provide the string, im not that rich...yet.

Any animal that crunches or squeeks when you step on it is definately the best, that or a dragon.

sorry to hear it mate. but we all gotta go sometime i guess. last week i was playing with my left ball, you know, as you do, and i got really worried as there was a large lump to the right of it! after a couple of minutes panic thinking i had cancer in my coinpurse, i realised that it would all be ok, the large lump to the right of my left ball, WAS infact just my right testicle. phew, what a day that was! anyway hope you get better and all that.

Tough luck boyo, you have become a steaming pool of piss, you trickle gently into the drain as i breathe a heavy sigh of relief, i zip up my fly and head off to another pub. i wish i was a pink fluffy cloud

the stupidest thing i have done was when i tried to turn my cat into a dog. i spent many long hours with several knives and sharp instruments, cutting here, cleaving there, but with no success. i finally got sick so i doused the remains of my cat in petrol and threw on a match, and SUCCESS it went WOOF!

I think girls find my alchemy skills attractive. i whip up a strong brew and go "here smell this cloth" and they pass out cold with lust... or at least i think its lust. either way i know im getting some tonight!