The Spectacular Professor

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Twenty-X. I'll be the most hardcore dude at the ball dropping.[/FONT]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE=1]I thought you'd given up reading Naruto Ace ? :P[/SIZE][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I heard Itachi was back. The lulz was too compelling. As a sidenote, screw this series [B]One Piece[/B] is better.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Susanoo has six fingers on his right hand. Someone was looking for him. Also, Danzou overlooked something pretty blatant with whatever surgery gave him that arm. He grafted multiple instances of the most vulnerable part of the human body all over his right side. You can beat him by poking him in the palm of his hand. And no one dies in this series. Who wants to take bets Jiraiya will be attending his own funeral?[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][B][SIZE="4"]How the Gav Stole OB[/SIZE] A UPG Holiday Special[/B][/CENTER] All the nerds in the forums liked OB a lot But the Overlord Gavin of Wal-Mart did not He hated Otakuboards quite a big bit Or not so much, if that's how you look at it Your perspective could tell you it wasn't that bad And it's true that indeed there was worse to be had But whatever degree, be it giant or small Gav really just wasn't that fond of it all "They all think they'll get work off," he snarled with a sneer For tomorrow was Christmas, the worst time of year This annual time of such holiday glee Was a damper on Gavin's pure Sith Pedigree For tomorrow he knew all those in his employ Would wake bright and early, shouting for joy And then, oh my boy, oh my boy, boy, boy, boy They'd start to be happy! They'd start to feel glad! They'd dance around like the Starburst Little Lad! Then the peasants and slaves would all gather and eat And they'd eat, and they'd eat, and they'd eat, eat, eat, eat! They'd consume fine fresh bread and most succulent meat Which would certainly make Wal-Mart's profits deplete Then they'd do something he liked least of all All the nerds on the forums, the awkward and tall Would gather together, with comfy chair padding They'd sit at computers, and then they'd start chatting And they'd chat, and they'd chat, and they'd chat, chat, chat, chat! And the more Gavin thought of this incessant chat The more Gavin thought, "Now we just can't have that! "Why, for many a year all these folks become jerks "Around Christmas, I must get them back to their work" Then, he got an idea An awful idea The Gav got a wonderful, awful idea! "I know just what to do!" Gavin laughed to himself As he called in his intern to dress as an elf He chuckled and clucked, "They'll all learn not to yap With no Admiral Ackbar to warn of my trap!" "All I need is an Admin!" The Gav looked around But since Des was asleep There were none to be found Did that stop the Sith Lord? No! The Gav simply said "If I can't find an Admin I'll be one instead!" So he logged on to Google And searched for some hacks And a nice proxy website To cover his tracks Then he went to the Boards Using Dagger's account And messed with the CP An expedient amount All the screens were quite dark No one lurking about No one around to alert with a shout When he started to clear the first message board out "This is where I'll be starting!" The Gav-Scrooge announced As he crouched over keyboard Preparing to pounce He started with Anime Not his normal domain But hey, used to be Dagger's And this was her screenname He paused for a moment To read a few posts But time was quite scarce And required the most As the little noob ramblings filled up his sight "Good morning," he cackled, "and also good night!" Then he slunk to the Manga He deleted the beasts Of long-winded threads Like the one for [I]One Piece![/I] He cleaned out that forum as quick as a flash Why that Gav even gave [I]Bleach[/I] a pat-down for cash! He deleted it all like one throws a parade "And now," grinned the Gav, "I'll wipe out the Arcade!" And he clicked on the link And began to erase When his comp screen reflected His Intern's sad face He turned around fast And was then face-to-face With his newest employee, Mr. O'Turney, Ace He looked at his boss and said "Why, Milord, Why? "Why are you purging OB's Archives? "Why?" "Why my foolish Apprentice" The Sith Lord replied "This is all just to hurry you "To the Dark Side! "You'll be getting more evil quite soon now, my boy. "Now out of my sight, I must conquer this joy!" With a wave of his hand And a glare of his eye The intern departed Without a goodbye And when Ace O'Turney Was out of his sight Ol' Gavin continued His board-clearing blight He finished up quickly Sat back with a grin And said "all to easy! "Like fish when they swim!" "They'll be waking up now, "I know how they'll react! "For a bit "They'll ignore my most brilliant act "Then the nerds in the forums "Will have heart attacks!" "That's a sight" Gloated Gav "That I really must see!" So he sat in his chair And he called for some tea And he did see some posts Rising from all the boards At first there were few But they soon became hordes But these posts did not indicate Cardiac arrest! No, they were greetings! "We Wish You The Best" All the nerds in the forums The awkward and tall Were posting Without all the old threads at all! And the Gav with his Sith butt Set snug in his chair Was raging and fuming "This just isn't fair!" "They dare to defy me! "Such insolent fools "They shouldn't be happy "They're breaking my rules!" Then the Gav thought of something But in his defense It was not quite approval Just indifference "Maybe Christmas" He thought "Isn't perfect at all! "At least for the homeless "It's even colder than fall!" And what happened then? Well, at Wal-Mart they say That the boss's small heart Frosted over that day. So he waited 'til Monday And said like a jerk "Bah humbug, you morons! "Now get back to work!" [SIZE="1"]Merry Christmas Otakuboards, as well as the rest of the Otaku Network and anyone else who's reading this. It's been a hell of a year and I'm just glad you guys are willing to put up with my shenanigans. Have a happy one.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][YOUTUBE]MCfrKqltTg4[/YOUTUBE][/CENTER] And here I figured our company celebrated Slavemas. That's what I was doing with my day off. Also, Gavin. I feel required to inform you that you will be visited by three glowing blue dead Jedi. They left me a memo the other day. Forgot to mention it.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well, it's that time of year, and we all know that the presents are just superficial trinkets to remind us all of the spirit of goodwill, love and friendship. And after all, those are the things we're really grateful for, right? That said, the material possessions are still pretty awesome. So you know the drill. What did you get for Christmas (Solstice, Kwanzaa, etc.?) Was it what you were hoping for? Was your haul on the ball? Myself, I got some pretty neat stuff. I got a Chuck Norris facts poster, a new Nintendo DS stylus with [URL="http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Shaymin_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29"][COLOR="Blue"]Shaymin[/COLOR][/URL] on it, the movie [B]UP[/B] on DVD (which just goes to show that my parents listen well and like me a lot,) a 25$ Game Crazy gift card, [B]Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World[/B] (I think my friend is trying to tell me that I need a Wii) and [B]The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks[/B], which I've been playing with my Shaymin stylus. I think it was a great year, and I'm just glad to know people who can tolerate me enough to even consider buying me such awesome swag.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Coolio. Now to make sure the ratings skew the way I want, I'm gonna go play football with a live puppy. As the ball.[/FONT]

[quote name='Ikillion'][FONT="Trebuchet MS"][SIZE="1"]Just give me a Goro Goro no mi and I'm pretty much set for life.[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Yeah, I think I could give up swimming if it meant I could smite people with lightning, too. Also: The cajun accent [B]is[/B] Gambit's superpower. It's so awesome it makes people think he can rig stuff to explode.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Somehow the entire concept of Adolf Hitler teaching 8th Grade is just inherently funny.[/FONT]

[quote name='CaNz']you should get a snuggie... its like a blanket that isn't hard to use! plus you will never lose your remote.[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Seriously what is with all you people. It's called the WTF Blanket. Learn your terminology.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I agree with the Good vs. Evil idea and that it should be open to all. One other thought I had was to have it vary depending on which skin you're using. For example, Caramelldansen could use "tsuntsun" and "deredere" or something. Dunno if that's possible, though, so whatever have you.[/FONT]

[quote name='John']Craig Ferguson is so wonderful. Television needs a lot more earnest people like him.[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Wonderful? Earnest? [I]*moves face closer to camera*[/I] REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?[/FONT]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE=1]Ace you're drawing perilously close to two weeks without an update, surely you're not going to leave your poor fans out on a limb here ?[/SIZE][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Actually, that cliffhanger was supposed to last me a couple months at least. I kinda started another project in the meantime, which I've been posting over on TheO. ...I suppose you intend to punish your servant at this point?[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][IMG]http://blogs.mcall.com/.a/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0115702360a6970b-800wi[/IMG][/CENTER] Zod did it first, Zod did it best.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]On the subject of subs, Gratuitous Japanese. I can hear it just fine myself, thanks. Now tell me what the hell it means. Honestly, what is the point of translating something if you're only going to do it halfway and leave your audience even more bewildered than before?[/FONT]

[quote name='John']Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're restarting this thread. Disregard all posts before this one. [IMG]http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/iron_giant.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Only if I can retcon this first one here from the thread.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Cartoon Network live action has pissed me off once again. They have this 5 minute documentary thing called [B]My Dad's a Pro[/B], starring Eddie House's 9 year old son. The child has a decently large wall-mounted plasma TV in his room. I don't care if you're Bill frickin' Gates. That's too much spent on frivolous objects for a child too young to appreciate it. Nice job teaching him the value of money, pops.[/FONT]

[quote name='Indi'][CENTER][IMG]http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/3679/lolface.gif[/IMG][/CENTER][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]This right here? Should have happened half a page ago.[/FONT]

[quote name='Sangome'][FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][SIZE="1"]Well Chibi, if you want to get a kitten, then don't let me stop you... :animeswea I'd go with one or the other. A lot of kittens need good homes too and sjdhhkjsdf I've just made myself sad. ;_; Again.[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE] [CENTER][YOUTUBE="Once Upon a Time in New York City"]D6YTXjOwSL8[/YOUTUBE][/CENTER] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]This moment of heartbreaking brought to you by Disney, the Happiest Place on Earth. Gosh that slogan seems pretty pessimistic sometimes.[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']I don't care if it [I]is[/I] wrong, that's what I did. After the first one getting me so ticked.[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Also, I was definitely not being sarcastic in my last post. :D[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']I had to watch it on Youtube, which is perfectly fine if you like waiting for a 10 minute video to load every time a suspensful part comes along...[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Not that I would ever do this, because it's immoral, illegal and wrong, but if I did I would load the first part of the movie, then open the second part in another tab. This would allow the second part to load while I watch the first part. Not that I would ever do such a thing.[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']I have my belt testing today. With my cramps and whatnot going full-blast. It seems I will literally earn this belt through blood, sweat and tears.:animesigh[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]You know, I have heard reports of people passing out during the Black Belt testing. Come to think of it, this would explain that to an extent.[/FONT]

[quote name='Boo'][font=Lucida Fax]You speciesist. We're all creatures on the surface of the Earth. I find it wrong that you throw about with things such as "normal human beings" acting as if they're the standard for all species in the world. Elitist pig![/font][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]How dare you speak of swine in such a manner, you hypocrite.[/FONT]

[quote name='Raiha'][FONT="Times New Roman"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Maybe I'm not womanly. If anyone would like to make a Raiha is really a man joke, they can. So I can shoot them in the mouth with a rocket launcher.[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]A [SIZE="4"][COLOR="DarkRed"]MANLY[/COLOR][/SIZE] rocket launcher, right? And now that I've said that I just know I'm going to be the one on the business end of said rocket launcher.[/FONT]

[quote name='CaNz']I GOT EGGNOG! Bwaaaahaahahhahaha!!1[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Great! Now pour it down the toilet. That's where it goes anyway and this way you don't have to suffer the taste. :D[/FONT]