The Spectacular Professor

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]OH MY HOW WILL THIS TURN OUT? Danzou, you bastard. Giving the order to execute Sasuke? how could yo- Okay, there's not way I'm keeping that up. Screw this emo bullcrap justification. Danzou is the man, dammit.[/FONT]

[quote name='Lunar'][COLOR="DimGray"] I saw that thread, and I really want to see that movie. Looks like it should be a really good movie. I have yet to see the previews for Iron Man 2; in fact, I haven't even heard of it until now. [/COLOR][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I don't think there are any previews out for it yet, and I'm not sure it's even slated for this year. It has been in production for a while now, though. I really need to check out what all is scheduled for this year. My must-see list is really short. EDIT: I just saw [B]UP[/B]. Everyone drop whatever you are doing and go see [B]UP[/B] right this instant. I'm not even joking. Unless of course you are either watching it right now or thinking about how awesome it was. In which case, proceed. But first turn off your computer and pay for a ticket, you hooligan.[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']B-but I've come so far!:animedepr 10 years to get to the top, only to be shoved right back down to the bottom in one summer... Why?! What's going to happen to meee?!?!?!:animecry:[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Alright, so it's not that bad. Nowhere near as bad as middle school was for me. Although I probably shouldn't be talking, since my dislike of stupid people made me opt out of public school and do it all online instead. I still do actual band, though. Those people are easy to deal with for the most part. And the ones that aren't are called drummers. :p[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']I. AM. DONE. No more exams! It's over! Time for graduation, then...high school... *involuntary shudder*[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Turn in the direction opposite the one you are currently facing and run in it.[/FONT]

[quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][LEFT][FONT="Times New Roman"]Not a very penetrating statement there except to make the assertion, perhaps, that anyone who shoots someone in cold blood must be a bad person and not doing it in defense of someone else, or their own safety.[/FONT][/LEFT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I may have misspoken. My understanding of the phrase "in cold blood" is basically "with no justification." I don't object to self-defense or defense of others. I mean like the punks you hear about on he news who off a guy for saying something dirty about their mother.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Eh. Gotta say it doesn't concern me too much, other than the fact that providing a gun safety lecture seems a bit moot when everyone's already carrying one. I personally don't see why a group of intelligent, responsible Christians can't get together and discuss firearms. After all, the weapons won't be armed anyway according to the article. My philosophy on gun safety is that more responsible people arming themselves would help prevent shootings. A person plotting murder isn't going to bother with obtaining their weapon legally, but might think twice if their intended victim could defend themselves. I'm not saying that everyone just toting guns around everywhere is a fun prospect, but limiting too much could end up putting people in danger. And on a final gun safety note, anyone who shoots someone in cold blood should be struck across the face by the handle of their own firearm.[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']MEIN EARS!!! THEY BLEEEEED!!!!! Why, Ace, WHY?!:animedepr[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Are you perchance complaining about the musical stylings of the late, great Eartha Kitt? [CENTER][IMG]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/disappoint.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I just learned about the deep, dark history of [I]The Emperor's New Groove[/I]. Apparently it used to be a completely different movie. A musical, even. [CENTER][YOUTUBE="Snuff Out the Light"]5ZzGFR0nLyI[/YOUTUBE][/CENTER] Allegedly the actual script sucked, but holy crap they should have found an excuse to keep this song. The only thing missing from that movie was Eartha Kitt singing.[/FONT]

[quote name='Chikara Kokoro']Honestly? When that laugh and "It's goin' be good" came at the end of the trailer I groaned... Racial sensitivity isn't exactly Disney's strong suit.[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Honestly, I think the racial insensitivity card has been thrown around far too freely in opposition to this film. Looking through Disney's old catalog, you can finc plenty of characters like that. Most of their depictions of French people, for example, speak in ridiculously thick accents and are either complete psychos or suave, polite and absurdly likable. Heck, let's get even more recent. [I]Lilo and Stitch[/I] never got nearly as many complaints about race as this movie is getting, and I'm fairly certain there was at least a certain level of Hawaiian stereotype there, somewhere between the hula dancing and the fact that "Ohana" is now a loan word. And besides, just because something is a stereotype doesn't mean it can't be a good character. Take Leeron from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann for example. One of the most entertaining flamboyantly gay characters you can find in any show. [quote name='Chikara Kokoro']I mean... voodoo? Really? I enjoyed E. D. Baker's book, and this is clearly only similar in terms of the very basic plot and name.[/QUOTE] The same can be said of just about every animated adaptation Disney has made. The Little Mermaid originally ended with the death of the title character. Sleeping Beauty didn't wake up from the initial kiss. Aladdin had unlimited wishes. Hunchback of Notre Dame used to be a [I]Victor Hugo Novel.[/I] o_O [quote name='Chikara Kokoro']Home on the Range has left me scarred, and it's going to take a lot more than Enchanted to restore my faith in the Disney animation department. I'm attempting to be cautiously optimistic, but it's difficult.[/QUOTE] Home on the Range is widely speculated to have been intentionally made to cause the downfall of the animation department. Doesn't help that the guy who was in charge of Disney at the time is well-known for being a traditional animation hater. Besides that, they've been working on this one for quite some time, so it's not just some attempt to churn out something that'll make a quick buck. Besides that, considering their track record before that (more recent ones including Lilo and Stitch, The Emperor's New Groove, Tarzan and Mulan,) I don't think it's fair to condemn 75 years of legacy for a single flop. Granted, they did also work some weaker stuff in there, like Treasure Planet and Atlantis: The Lost Empire, but even those were received pretty well in most circles. You're entitled to your opinion, of course. I'm just trying to provide a little more perspective.[/FONT]

[quote name='Shinmaru']I watched [b]Up[/b] a couple of days ago -- definitely recommend that. I'd have to rewatch some Pixar movies I haven't seen in a while to really back this up, but I think [b]Up[/b] is one of Pixar's funniest movies. I laughed pretty much the entire time, aside from the first 10-15 minutes, or so, which would probably make up a rather brilliant animated short if it weren't a part of the movie.[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]That calls for a side-by-side comparison with [I]A Bug's Life[/I], since out of the ones I've seen, that's probably the funniest in my opinion. Good to hear good things about [I]Up[/I], though. Pixar hasn't let me down yet, but it's still nice to be reassured. Though it'll be hard for them to top [I]Wall-E[/I] in my eyes. Upcoming movies I'm looking forward to include [I]The Princess and the Frog[/I] for reasons I've already covered in that movie's specific thread and [I]Iron Man 2[/I] because the first one was my favorite superhero movie ever.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]My interpretation is that Madara is a dick because he's a bad guy and he makes Sasuke cry. And since we should feel bad for Sasuke, we should hate Madara. In contrast, Danzou is a dick because it makes the average Uchiha look okay in comparison. That and Danzou just likes making it so people can't have nice things.[/FONT]

[CENTER][YOUTUBE="Trailer"]VimbxQZVHHo[/YOUTUBE][/CENTER] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Disney's 49th animated film. [FONT="Trebuchet MS"]Based somewhat on E.D. Baker's [I]The Frog Princess[/I], this is the story of Tiana, a young girl living in New Orleans during the Jazz Age, and Naveen, the cursed prince of Maldonia. Naveen has been tuned into a frog by Dr. Facilier, an evil voodoo practitioner. It's not an unheard of malady, of course, as fairy tales of it have been around for ages. According to all accounts Naveen has been made aware of, the cure is a maiden's kiss. This is where Tiana comes in. Though she is reluctant at first, she eventually grants the smooth-talking amphibian his request. Unfortunately, the effect ends up being the opposite of what was desired, and now both must search for a cure to the frog curse.[/FONT] From the trailer, the film looks fantastic so far. I'm definitely looking forward to another traditionally animated Disney film. The last one was [I]Home on the Range[/I], which was both five years ago and a pretty dumb movie. This one's been in the works a while, so there has been plenty of time to test audiences and work out kinks. Dr. Facilier is definitely an interesting-looking character and I'm looking forward to seeing more of him. It also goes without saying that Disney needs something that doesn't suck on their reputation after five years of pointless sequels and Hannah Montana. Oh, and Randy Newman is composing the soundtrack. Being from New Orleans, he's an excellent choice, and he's done some excellent jazz-themed soundtracks before. Check out [I]Cats Don't Dance[/I], for example. Actually, go check out [I]Cats Don't Dance[/I] anyway. It needs more love. So yeah, really excited. According to IMDb, the release date is December 11th, '09. I suppose that's subject to change, though.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'm pretty much salivating over the latest [B]Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box[/B] screens. Other than that, there's some interesting looking stuff, but Layton is the thing that holds my attention most so far. [B]Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks[/B] is looking okay, but I want a new console Zelda before too long. The handhelds haven't quite stood up to the same standard since Minish Cap. [B]Little Big Planet[/B] for PSP is also something I'm looking at, since I'm half-considering getting a PSP sometime this year.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I just watched [I]Cats Don't Dance[/I] again last night. Why do so many awesome movies end up getting screwed by the marketing department and flop?[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]"Alright, we've just survived the most devastating attack we have ever suffered on this village! We have pledged to uphold peace and goodwill no matter what the cost in order to prevent this from happening ever again. What can we do to ensure that this happens?" "How about appointing as our leader the one man most likely to get on everyone and everything's bad side in the fastest time possible?" "Oh hell yeah."[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'm really liking the new Envy. Does an amazing job at being a smug little bastard. That ought to come in handy later on, when the true nature of the character is revealed.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Oh, right. Thanks for pointing that out. Fixing nao.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Epic bad chapter. Guess what time it is? I think you already know. [CENTER][U]Chapter 449: Moron Ex Machina[/U][/CENTER] Last time I did this we were right in the middle of the Pein fight, right before Hinata jumped in front of a bus thanks to plot-induced stupidity. I think it's only fair that at this point I recap the entire fight, just so we can all remember how very, very pointless this all was. Sasuke failed to capture 8-Tails and I laughed a lot. After that, Pein decided it was time to move out. The invasion of Konoha went of with nary a hitch, thanks to plot-induced incompetence. You'd think a village full of ninjas would set up some damn security cameras or something. Rather, they put up a relatively flimsy chakra barrier that never seemed to stop all the other seven thousand times the village was invaded throughout the course of the series. Anyway, Pein drops in, slaughters a bunch of random dudes and Kakashi and then nukes the village. The only people able to do anything about all this crap were Sakura, who punched a caterpillar or something, and Konohamaru, who took down one of Pein's six bodies all by himself while another is off killing Kakashi in a rather embarrassing and unlikely way. Everyone else just sat around and whines about how Naruto, the delinquent idiot who was never respected by anyone before this point, was their only salvation. This whole time, Naruto's up in the mountains training. The village tries to contact him, but the messenger is killed by Danzo, who is a gigantic douchebag and pretty much the evil behind all that is wrong with the world and the reason we can't have nice things. Apparently it will be easier to usurp the position of Hokage when the village has been annihilated and all its residents killed. Naruto finally arrives. He's wearing a red coat over his orange jumpsuit, which somehow makes him look even more hideous than the jumpsuit alone ever could. The fight commenced at this point, shortly after Naruto gained a slug that functions roughly in the same manner as Navi from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Except more annoying. Naruto managed to take out several Peins several times, expending his sage chakra reserves a couple of times in the process. Eventually he figured out why they kept getting up and took down the healer, which is the first rule of any RPG. It was down to him and Sith Pein. Then Hinata entered. She stupidly declared her love, then jumped in front of the Ninja equivalent of an oncoming train. This managed to accomplish pretty much nothing, but it got Naruto riled up and shifted him into 8 Tails mode. 8 Tails is horrifically stupid-looking, by the way. Then Naruto blacked out and let the fox rampage a bit. This gave him time to meet his dad, who set up a safeguard that would summon him back to reseal the fox if it reached 8 tails. Seeing as how there are only 9 tails, this is basically the most impractical safeguard ever. It also only works once. Naruto then punched his dad, cried a little and regained consciousness, Fox mode disabled once again. Fox mode ended up being completely pointless. Naruto went back into sage mode, expended his chakra once more, then pulled off some convoluted bullcrap that ended with a bunch of rocks turning into shadow clones and gang-raping Pein while Naruto pulled off a final Rasengan. JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES. Screw his new arsenal, Kishi hates you. Which brings us to his confrontation with Nagato, the man controlling Pein. They went all diplomatic and Nagato launched into a long, boring flashback explaining his origin. Long story short, his parents idiotically attacked some non-hostile Konoha Ninja, who stupidly tried to apologize to a newly orphaned and extremely traumatized child. Nagato, of course, has magic eyeballs. Just like every other overpowered emo loser in this series. He kills them. Then he meets more orphans and a dog. Then the dog gets killed. Then they get ninja training. Jiraiya preaches about peace, because that's what ninjas do. Peace. Assassination is all about peace. This was the point where I started drawing parallels between Naruto and Twilight. Both are damn horribly written. Both bastardize their subject matter unforgiveably. Both feature budding romance between a Mary Sue who can't lose no matter what and a bland, superpowered, angsty idiot. And both have are highly supported despite being crimes against literature. Moving on. Jiraiya leaves and the leader of Rain Village sets a trap for Nagato and friends. He does this with the help of Danzo. Danzo apparently just does all this because he gets his kicks from being a bastard. Yahiko dies, a bunch of incomprehensible garbage goes down and everyone dies except Danzo and Team Nagato. This entire flashback served only to make me feel sorry for the dog. Nagato then asks Naruto for his answer, after detailing an entire life experience that basically proves that Jiraiya was wrong and no peace will ever happen. Naruto's answer? He agrees with Jiraiya anyway, just to piss of Nagato. On the internet, we call that trolling. Anyway, Nagato asks why, and Naruto presents Jiraiya's stupid book. Naruto's named after the main character. That changes everything. Nagato then decided, completely against any logic seen to this point, to believe in Naruto. He prepared a new jutsu. That brings us up to the current chapter. Nagato gives a few more vaguely inspirational words that make no sense at all and proceeds to sacrifice himself to bring all the dead Konoha villagers back to life. This would be the perfect time to give a vocabulary lesson. Deus Ex Machina is a latin term meaning "God of the Machine". It's a term used to describe a sudden and unexpected plot device used to tie up a loose end or resolve a conflict easily and cleanly. These usually come from absolutely nowhere and make little to no sense. As such, there is very little practical use for them in the literary world outside of parody works, since easy, clean resolution is often frustrating and dull to read. Kishi has been coasting on these since the beginning of Part 2, but none as awful as this one. Another term, this time borrowing from Fullmetal Alchemist. "Equivalent exchange". This one is a phrase describing the basic rule of barter. If you want something, you need to give something of equal value in order to obtain it. I think you know where I'm going here. Pein just revived half a village using his own single, nearly expended life. That goes against anything we've learned in this or any other series. This move also effectively makes it as if everything after Pein's invasion never happened. It also makes you wonder why Kishi bothered leaving Chouza and Hinata were revivable when everyone was just going to cheat death anyway. Oh and Konan seems to imply that Nagato would survive this move at full strength. Stupid. Konan gives Naruto some crappy paper flowers and goes on her way. Every time he looks at them, he'll no doubt remember how depressingly pointless hours of his life spent defending his home and friends ended up being. Back to Craterha, where everyone wakes up. That's right, everyone. Even Shizune (craaaap.) Kakashi, however, is spending his time with his pa, forgiving him for abandoning a mission in favor for his friends. No doubt they'll soon start exchanging wisecracks about how the only thing worse than a lame death is a lame resurrecton. DAMMIT. Yeah, that's everyone. That last arc was officially pointless. I can't possibly imagine how this could get any wor- [CENTER][IMG]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/Naruto449page17-OneManga_1243670230.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [IMG]http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l110/kelsey_marie93/emot-suicide.gif[/IMG][/FONT]

[quote name='Korey'][FONT= Franklin Gothic Medium]Also, the online thingy next to your SN kinda looks like the CBS logo. [/FONT][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Aaaand apparently I'm alone in using OB Standard all the time.[/FONT]

[quote name='SunfallE'][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"]And here I recall you claiming you were dropping that paticular series. =P Guess fail or not, you're still hooked. :blulaugh:[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Ah, but that was in the case of a certain character dying. That didn't happen, so my reason to leave was never fulfilled. This allows me to continue being a fool for reading this series in the futile hope that it someday does something intentionally entertaining again.[/FONT]

[quote name='Sangome'][SIZE="1"]How is this new, again? :p[/SIZE][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Oh, it's not new. He just recently one-upped himself by making an entire arc completely pointless through essentially retconning it with Polt Device no Jutsu. Figured that warranted a reminder.[/FONT]

[quote name='Mr. Maul'][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Blah blah blah, Jonas Brothers reference implying they are women.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Knew it all along. They also remind me of Hikaru and Kaoru from Ouran, plus one brother and minus any form of interesting personality. Whether this prediction is true remains to be seen. In other news, Masashi Kishimoto, author of [I]Naruto[/I], fails at life, the universe, and everything. Forever.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well, absolutely everything just became pointless. If you'll excuse me, I have to catch a plane to Japan, so I can kick Kishi in the stomach until he coughs up his pancreas.[/FONT]

[IMG]http://www.chainsawsuit.com/comics/20080528.gif[/IMG]

[quote name='taperson'][SIZE="1"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]I think one of these days I'll actually post something worthwhile in this thread.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Isn't that, like, the only way to go off-topic in here?[/FONT]