The Spectacular Professor

[CENTER][YOUTUBE="Red Stripe Commercial"]ue4LhLUp4CU[/YOUTUBE][/CENTER] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]What to do next time Vicky seems to be posting a little tipsy.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]...No. Just no. It started out fine, I was liking what was happening, I appreciated seeing a little strategy on Naruto's part and I was impressed that Kishi managed to make him seem cool. But no. Naruto did not just waste two rasen shurikens, distract Pein, set up a Shadow Clone gang rape, disguise them ALL as rocks and finish it off with a rasengan in ten seconds flat after expending all of his sage chakra three or four times in a single battle, then getting his Fox chakra locked AGAIN. He is not that strong, he is not that resourceful and he is not that clever. Naruto vs. Pein now receives the official Arc of Fail seal. Oh, and the colorspread of this chapter did a nice job of reminding me how bad Kishimoto has become at keeping his three man teams diverse. The Sannin, Rain Brats and Team 7 all follow the same pattern of hotheaded idiot, Emo McNoonecares and largely uninteresting obligatory female.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]We're overdue for another Webcomic thread around here. You all know the drill. Discuss webcomics. Recommend your favorites to everyone and go into a little detail as to why you like them. Recently, I've gotten in to [URL="http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/"][I]Head Trip[/I][/URL] in a big way. The main characters of this one are Malory, a twenty-something redhead with a somewhat geekish personality and very murderous tendencies, and Kathryn, her younger, slightly more level-headed sister. Most of the humor involves Mal reacting to the world around her in various ways that can range from bemused to bewildered to, of course, violent. Kat is usually around to either talk some sense into her or stand by helplessly. There's a fair-sized supporting cast, as well, but those two are the ones who tend to crop up the most. There's also Emo Kid and Chemo Kid, a spinoff-ish series that gets updated sporadically as part of the main comic. It started out as a gag one-shot featuring the exploits of Emo Kid (exactly what it says on the tin) and Chemo Kid, a cancer patient. They do superhero things, but have no discernible superpowers. Since then, though, it's evolved into a slightly darker, more dramatic story of its own. I'm a big fan of this one because of a lot of things. For one, the author has a really impressive art style. I particularly dig a lot of Mal's facial expressions. The comic is also consistently funny, even the weaker ones (not counting the newer Emo and Chemo ones, but they're not supposed to be.) Finally, the author is anti-Twilight. And she is awesome for it. [CENTER][IMG]http://fc25.deviantart.com/fs28/f/2008/133/e/6/e68024b002996206ec9ddf8001e72e81.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]On the bright side, Superman once told me that flying is safer than walking. Then again, he's invincible and tends to do it sans plane. Jerk.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]It's a new kind of virus. Not sure about the details, but it's been popping up on some obscure sites and apparently TheO has been hit hard. They're tentatively calling it "Cullen Cancer". Best solution would be to wait it out.[/FONT]

[quote name='Athena'][size=1][color=indigo][b]Ace[/b]- Your banner and avi set rocks! (pun intended, hehe) Toph is my favorite character! She is amazing. I wish I could be an Earthbender :([/size][/color][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Thanks! I figured I needed to show her the love since she's the second greatest fictional character in the history of ever and everyone already has a Kamina set. And what's with this? Blatant Avatar fanservice and no Azula? [CENTER][IMG]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/Azula15.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] I love these threads where spam is the topic.[/FONT]

[quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Hah, cheap copy. You take that you xenophobic monster! *swells off to go preen* Either way I'm not sure precisely what our group's objective is besides to ensure that Bavaria gets a bad case of frostbite, which I'll be happy to not treat.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Or you could force me to treat it. Being a medical school dropout, I could probably botch that one quite nicely.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Fred Rogers himself was an awesome dude, but the Neighborhood of Make-Believe was a messed up place. I plan to discover all the dirty little secrets of its denizens. I doubt it's gonna be pretty, but it needs to be done.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]If my current set doesn't tip anyone off, Earth. It's common, reliable, powerful and Toph made it awesome. Besides that, as an actual martial artist, it's the bending style that most closely resembles my fighting style anyway, so it would probably be easiest to learn.[/FONT]

[quote name='Zen'][color=royalblue][size=1] [b]Ten Year Older Me:[/b] "What does sex feel like?"[/color][/size][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]And now I'm forced to be the devil's advocate and ask what happens if he doesn't know.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Just a heads-up here. My laptop cord crapped out on me and it'll take about a week to get a new one. Until then I have two hours of battery life. I probably won't be posting that much. Thanks for understanding.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Proof that World History courses are needlessly complex. [CENTER][IMG]http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/scissorsbeatspaper.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]If I met my 10 year old self, assuming I could tell him stuff without altering the past, I'd ask him what he wants to be when he grows up. Seems like it was paleontologist or something. I just want to be reminded. Then I'd ask him how he'd feel if I told him I was hoping to get into the animation field. Then I'd chuckle about how 17 year old me seems like a bigger kid than 10 year old me. I'd ask my 27 year old self what stocks to invest in. It's not insider trading if I give myself the information, right? :angel:[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Civilians are immune to all weapons and pretty much just stand there and smile at you if you try to shoot them in the chest with an arrow. Why the hell they need saving in the first place is officially beyond my comprehension. [I]- Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time[/I] I tried to kill Ingo once. I hate Ingo.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Dammit dammit dammit. Sorry about that, Indi. No idea what I've been into. Fixing now. Edit: Fix complete. Deadly crisis averted, please continue your merrymaking activities.[/FONT]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/almagest%202/Ivan_Almagest.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [FONT="Book Antiqua"][I]The following is an excerpt from the journal of Ivan Francis Almagest.[/I][/FONT] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"][I]I'm starting this journal on behalf of Leonhart Almagest, who suggested I do so after his hospitalization. He said that this expedition is very important and needs to be documented in some way. He also mentioned that it's a great way to keep my thoughts in order. I suppose this whole thing started back on the Alania. Damn, was I stupid. I really doubt anyone in the family really wanted to be acquainted with me after how I treated most of them back there. And the fight. I made quite the fool of myself there. Has it really only been a couple of days since then? I haven't given up on Dawlish yet, of course, but I have a lot of training to do. In the meantime, I need to work on my social skills. Speaking of which, where the hell does Harrison get off? He's the same age as me, and I get the feeling he thinks I'm just dead weight. So what if I don't have any military training? The real learning comes from experience! Still, I've been stuck between the family manor and CHAOS for the past five years, and Father isn't here anymore. I know more than enough, though. I'll show him! And then there's Lady Bavaria. I'm not sure what I think of her. She seems like a practical person, if a bit cold at times. I get the feeling not many people trust her, though. Then again, I'm not exactly in the circle of trust yet, either. I can probably at least thank myself for part of that. I hear Macey Ellen isn't very fond of her. Harrison said something about expecting some confrontation. He was probably putting it mildly. That's really about all. Speaking of Macey, though, I think we're scheduled to meet up with her before too long. I guess I should finish up here, then. Don't think I've given up yet, Dawlish.[/I][/FONT] [FONT="Garamond"][I][CENTER][SIZE="4"]Ivan[/SIZE][/CENTER][/I][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]"And just who the hell are you?" It wasn't that Garlock was opposed to new hands, far from it. New recruits were always welcome, particularly skilled fighters. Stowaways, however, were a different story. "Breeze B. Eir, future Pirate King!" replied the youth. "Right, and I'm Queen of Alabasta. What's your business, smuggling yourself aboard my ship?" "I need to start somewhere, right?" said Eir, "This was the coolest-looking ship in the harbor, so I figured the captain was pretty strong." "Flattery will get you nowhere, but I still appreciate it." "Anyway, I figured anyone who ran such a great-looking ship would command a pretty strong crew, so maybe I could get stronger by joining up," Eir finished. "Well, I suppose I could make an exception to the no stowaways rule this once," decided Garlock, "Welcome aboard the Spiral King, my boy! Let's give you the grand tour." [CENTER]. . .[/CENTER] "Captain!" The familiar sound prompted Garlock to turn away from the railing he was showing to Eir and face a sight he was only too used to. "Hello, Rona. What seems to be the trouble?" "You are THE. BIGGEST. MORON to ever set foot on a deck!" she yelled, "For all we know, this kid could be a Marine spy and you're showing the inner workings of one of the most complex ships on the sea!" Garlock glanced back at Eir, who was busy trying to spot the biggest-looking fish in the area. "I'm not seeing it." "We know next to nothing about him, captain," Sharona continued, "I really think you should be more cautious." "I know about him. He's another one of the hundreds of crazy kids who come out here every year and try to make something of themselves. This crap's been going on for 40 years, Rona. We have nothing to worry about. Besides, I think this kid has potential." "You've got to be crazy," Sharona replied, waving an arm dismissively. Unfortunately, the arm made some contact with Eir, who, standing on the rail at the time, toppled off the ship and into the sea below. "Well now you've done it," muttered Garlock. He then turned to the rail and yelled, "Hold on a sec, I'll lower a rope, just tread water 'till then." "Captain," said Sharona, a slit twinge of shock in her voice, "he's not coming back up." Garlock leaned over the rail and looked down, snapping back up almost instantly. "Dammit, why didn't he tell me he ate a Devil Fruit! Emergency positions, boys and girls! We have a User overboard!"[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Quick question here; does a date exist? What year is it in Anova? I have an idea for a post, and I'd kind of like to use the date as part of a format for it, but if we don't have one, I can probably do without.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]If the computer is cheating, you can probably cheat back. [I]- Soul Calibur III[/I][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Not sure if anyone's familiar with this one, since I understand it's been around for a while. Anyway, I present to you: [URL="http://askjud.com/"][COLOR="Blue"][U]Jud, the amazing mind-reading website[/U][/COLOR][/URL] This one isn't that much fun alone, but it's a great trick at parties. Here's the trick: When prompted to type your petition to Jud, do this instead; Type a period, followed by the response to the question you are asking. You will notice that the petition automatically fills itself out. When you're done with that, type another period, then complete however much of the petition you have left. After that, all you have to do is type out the question, followed by a question mark. The answer you entered will be the one that appears. For even more fun, have your friends try. Unless they know the trick, it will tell them to bugger off. Use this as an excuse to tell them that it doesn't "like them." Makes for great incognito [I]Twilight[/I] bashing. One of my female acquaintances got mad and slammed my laptop shut over it, which I found hilarious.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'm pretty squicked by this. It's quite disturbing and I'm kind of glad it's not happening locally that I know of. That being said, it's really none of my business if incest is happening, so long as it's kept in the family.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]You know, they could probably sit there for about a week and not eat anything without too heavy of a toll on their permanent health. Just sayin'. [SIZE="1"]Yes, I'm aware that the above statement is entirely inaccurate.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT="Fixedsys"][CENTER][I]Your progress through the MINE is met with success. You emerge from the other side into a CLEARING. You then go right back into another CAVE, since the moonlight is so blinding. There appear to be some CAVE-DWELLING NATIVES dwelling in this cave.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Observe the mating ritual of local cave-dwelling natives[/B] [CENTER][I]You are always fascinated by the traditions of other cultures, particularly the ones which are not typically exposed to foreigners. You quickly determine that you wish to observe the mating rituals of the CAVE-DWELLING NATIVES. You peek into a nearby dwelling and INTERNAL ERROR LINE 204 DOES NOT COMPUTE THAT UGH WHAT THE HELL WAS THE SPOON FOR YOUR SYSTEM HAS PERFORMED A FATAL ERROR AND WILL BE SHUT DOWN. NOTES: :sick:[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Recover last Save Point[/B] [CENTER][I]System reboot. Let's just pretend that command never happened.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Meet old mystic[/B] [CENTER][I]You meet the Tribe's MEDICINE MAN. He seems like a fairly pleasant chap. Disregard the six inch dagger he's menacing you with.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Talk to medicine man[/B] [CENTER][I]Uh-oh, looks like he only speaks binary. Tell you what, I'll translate. He says he's experiencing an unpleasant bout of MUMPS. He offers to help you if you are willing to help cure him. Oh, and you smell like a rotten cabbage. And that shirt is stupid. I'm only telling you what he told me.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Shoot the messenger[/B] [CENTER][I]You don't want to shoot the messenger.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Aid medicine man with health problems[/B] [CENTER][I]You tell the MEDICINE MAN that you come across this problem a lot, and that a little BENGAY in the UNDERGARMENTS will clear it right up. In gratitude, he offers to introduce you to the PLOT. You agree to this, and add that he should probably tell you before testing your miracle cure, as you are quite sure that you'll want to get the hell out of Dodge before he figures out what's going on here. System idle while PROGRAMMER hastily thinks up a plot.[/I][/CENTER] [B]INPUT COMMAND:[/B]_[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Free, legal anime? I just found out the other day that [URL="http://www.youtube.com/user/funimation?blend=1&ob=4"][COLOR="Blue"][U]FUNimation's Youtube channel[/U][/COLOR][/URL] features a few full series dubbed. Try Slayers. It's quite nice.[/FONT]

[quote name='Lunox'][font=trebuchet ms] Were you going to wish Edward Cullen was reeeallll?[/font][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'll do it. Then I'll wish Toph Bei Fong into existence, for the sole purpose of watching a little blind girl beat the crap out of the worst excuse for a vampire literature has ever conceived. Or I could wish Sasuke Uchiha to life. They could have a contest to see which one sucks more.[/FONT]