The Spectacular Professor

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Nostalgia, a good laugh, and some decent storytelling. This is why I still love stuff like Animaniacs, Freakazoid!, old Cartoon Network shows, etc. Otherwise, my fondness of a good plot gets me into a lot of JRPGs and anime, and I'll never pass up a decent book. I love the sense of accomplishment I get from achieving a new rank in my karate training, the feeling that comes with playing a song in front of an audience and the unabashed giddiness of offing a particularly troublesome baddie in a Tales game. I tend to do a lot of this stuff most of the time, and there's other stuff that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so I tend to be reasonably content most of the time.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'm really interested in what Oda's planning with [spoiler]Crocodile[/spoiler]. He was always my favorite villain in the series and I've basically been anticipating his return ever since [spoiler]Ace[/spoiler] was imprisoned. He's got so much potential here. Of course, the odds of another team-up with [I]him[/I] are slim to none, even considering how unbelievably forgiving Luffy is. I'd love to see him escape, though. A wild card like him could seriously mess up crap on both ends of the war, and being [spoiler]the only guy to have ever bested Luffy [I]twice[/I],[/spoiler] it would be interesting to see how he's dealt with. As for the actual current story, [spoiler]Jimbei[/spoiler] is probably one of the most interesting character designs I've ever seen. He seems like a pretty likable guy, too. I hope he gets some more screentime (paneltime?)[/FONT]

[FONT="Fixedsys"][B]> Pick up Pikachu[/B] [CENTER][I]You see no electric mice here. As this is a mine, you are probably more apt to stumble across a GEODUDE. Or maybe a ZUBAT. On a personal note, you swear to yourself that you will freaking barbecue any ZUBAT you see in this cave. Stupid ZUBAT.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Evolve Pikachu[/B] [CENTER][I]As there are no PIKACHU to evolve, you do the next best thing. You politely ask DICK VAN DYKE for his STRAWBERRY JAM. You then tape two MATCHES to the top of the lid and one to its lower backside. Don't ask me how you know where the lower back end of a cylinder is. You just do. The STRAWBERRY JAM now very, very vaguely resembles a RAICHU.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Throw Raichu at Dick Van Dyke[/B] [CENTER][I]You throw the STRAWBERRY JAM at DICK VAN DYKE. He narrowly dodges the projectile, which shatters, sending some JAM landing conveniently on some nearby TOAST. DICK VAN DYKE has been trying to get that damn jar open for like an hour. In his eternal gratitude, he teaches you how to ASEXUALLY DIVIDE THYSELF using the vanquished BRIMLEY's DIABEETUS TESTING SUPPLIES.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Present Diabeetus testing supplies[/B] [CENTER][I]You hand over the TESTING SUPPLIES. DICK VAN DYKE takes the LIBERTY MEDICAL BLOOD SUGAR METER and pricks himself just above the bellybutton. This causes DICK VAN DYKE to grow a SECOND BELLYBUTTON, which is far more rad than the first and can only be expressed via caps lock. He then explains the rest of the process in a long, boring monologue that I don't feel like sharing right now. You have lost the DIABEETUS TESTING SUPPLIES and gained the BLOOD SUGAR METER.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Grow a second bellybutton[/B] [CENTER][I]You prick yourself in the stomach, opening a void for another cavity in your lower abdomen that hasn't been useful since you were born.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Divide thyself asexually[/B] [CENTER][I]You complete the process and shove the OTHER YOU down your pants. For storage purposes, of course. You feel it necessary to mention that there is nothing violent, sexual or in the least bit strange about this action. Now get off your back, ESRB. With that over, you decide to head further into the MINE.[/I][/CENTER] [B]INPUT COMMAND:_[/B][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Chapter 432: It's called "Return of the Rasen Shuriken." That would be great if I wasn't already wishing that rasen-everything would just GTFO already. Clones, too. And of course, clones are the first thing I witness coming in to this chapter. Immediately, Sith Pein launches into a convoluted and slightly annoying "Not so different" speech. Judging by the look on Naruto's face, Pein went and forgot that those speeches don't usually work shortly after trying to annihilate everyone your intended audience ever loved. Also, using the man you killed as a bridge for communication is just stupid. Naruto makes a snappy comeback... "DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!" ...Okay screw this bullcrap. I'm done for the week.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I think I have some One Piece volumes lying around somewhere. Only about 5 or so, though. Yeah, I'm poor, too. My DVD collection is slightly less pathetic. I have One Piece Volume one and Gurren Lagann Special Edition volume 1.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well, since I can't really go into dub VAs without becoming predictable: [B]Marina Inoue[/B] She just gets the best roles. Ever. She's Kana from Minami-Ke, Yoko from Gurren Lagann, Iku from Library War, etc. I'm fairly certain everything this woman touches turns to gold. Which is why I'm planning to just go through her filmography next time I run out of stuff to watch.[/FONT]

We're technically not allowed to tell you, since fansubs are illegal. I will say this, though: Google. Or if you have money, Bandai has been releasing the series on DVD in the States. As for Dagger and Des's sub, they've only done the OVA. The series itself was done by another group.

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]That was pretty interesting. Fei Wong still has everything blowing up in his face, which just becomes more and more satisfying with every chapter. Clone Syaoran's heroic sacrifice was a nice way to kill him off without cheapening the character or haxxing Syaoran himself. Good job there. I did almost lose track of all those magic effects, though. As of now, I'm really beginning to wonder how this death affects everyone else. I was half-thinking that Syaoran would inherit Fye's magical eye at the end there, but that's also the only means Fye has of getting off his addiction to Kurogane blood. there's also the possibility of it just dying with him, and.... Crap, CLAMP just likes to keep you guessing, don't they?[/FONT]

[FONT="Fixedsys"][B]> Do the truffle shuffle[/B] [CENTER][I]You lift your shirt and shake what ya momma gave ya. Unfortunately, your ideal heroic stature does not include enough GIRTH for a proper TRUFFLE SHUFFLE. You will have to settle for a SEXY DANCE. DICK VAN DYKE is unaffected by this bizarre display. Presumably he's just looking somewhere else for no particular reason.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Improvise[/B] [CENTER][I]Nice try, MacGyver. This game runs on specifics.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Take eye-poking stick[/B] [CENTER][I]You're not sure where it came from, but you wield the mighty branch on high. As you do so, you mutter an ancient verse to yourself. Something like: O Lord, bless this thy holy EYE-POKING STICK, That with it I may poke thine enemies in their eye, in thy mercy.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Poke eye[/B] [CENTER][I]That was stupid. You quickly fashion yourself an EYEPATCH out of the SKITTLES bag. Better get rid of these SKITTLES before they get all melted and gross.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Poke someone else's eye[/B] [CENTER][I]You make a lunge for DICK VAN DYKE's eye. Suddenly, another figure steps in front of you. You have poked WILFORD BRIMLEY in the eye.[/I][/CENTER] [B]> Force-feed Skittles to Wilford Brimley[/B] [CENTER][I]You have slain WILFORD BRIMLEY. Wild WILFORD BRIMLEY drops DIABEETUS TESTING SUPPLIES.[/I][/CENTER] [B]INPUT COMMAND:_[/B][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]A thread wherein I must justify my beliefs to someone who's clearly stated that they're only in it for the sake of arguing? I do believe I lack interest.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Don't concern yourself too much about translation flubs, Alla. At least you're not reading One Piece. There's this whole section right near the middle where everyone scanlating suddenly decided to suck for a very long time. Some of my favorites: - Birami the Dachshund (Originally Bellamy the Hyena) - Constant swapping of Enel/Ener/Eneru - NAKAMA. Holy crap I'm beginning to hate that word. Translate it, people. - Edward Newcart (NewGATE) And last but definitely not least: -Pornoglyph (Poneglyph) Seriously, I crack up hard whenever I'm discussing OP with someone who actually thinks it's "Pornoglyph."[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][URL="http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/Lolpostcounts.jpg"][COLOR="Blue"][U]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/Lolpostcounts.jpg[/U][/COLOR][/URL] Someone's been busy, lol.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Eh, that looks more like a sky-kitten strip. Then again, the consistency of the meat looks aquan. Still, it's the wrong shape. And yes, I am aware that sky-kittens cannot fly.[/FONT]

[quote name='Solo Tremaine'][COLOR=#503f86]Being a martial artist as well, my understanding of katas is that they aren't just moves strung together for the sake of looking like a dance; they're applications of moves as if using them in a particular sequence, or a reference guide for the moves you've learnt. Hence, after learning the kata, you can apply the moves (bunshin) to a combat or sparring situation.[/COLOR][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well, yeah. That's true. Like I said, they would hypothetically work if the fight went exactly the way the kata does, but the odds of that happening are about as low as Cartoon Network realizing that most of their shows are crap and they really need to bring back the old Cartoon Cartoon Fridays lineup. I'll just call it an inaccurate paraphrase. More or less the same thing Kishi did to the word, but slightly more accurate.[/FONT]

[CENTER][IMG]http://www.aolcdn.com/ch_bv/flavor-flav-newswire-400a111606.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Look at this idiot. Who the hell do you think you are, Flavor Flav? What statement are you trying to make? That clock supposed to remind you when it's hammertime or what? And that ridiculous oversized bling, ugh. You think it makes you look Gangsta? You think you look dope? No. You look like a moron. Now get off my TV. And tell me who gave you a show so I can slap them with a trout.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]And tweaking is done. I left the personality intact, but changed up the situation a bit. Let me know if there's any other issues. Thanks![/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I signed up yesterday. I never really got around to reading the original, so there may be some minor inconsistencies with my character's background. I hope not, but let me know if anyone spots anything.[/FONT]

[quote name='Magus'][strike]I think I'm getting a little worn out with FMA, especially with another season coming. Not to mention that I can't stand the main characters.[/strike][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]New series is actually based more strictly on the manga. The first few episodes are probably going to be the same, but overall there should be plenty less angst and a good deal more action. Just putting it out there.[/FONT]

[FONT="Times New Roman"][B]Name:[/B] Ivan Francis Almagest [B]Age:[/B] 17 [B]Your connection to the Almagests:[/B] Grandnephew of Leonhart Almagest. Son of Jacob Almagest. [B]Portrait:[/B] [IMG]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/jeff2.jpg[/IMG] (Ignore the attire, if there is an issue with it.) [B]Occupation:[/B] Currently a student at CHAOS. Ivan is not at all fond of his medical training, which was forced upon him by his mother. He would rather become an explorer or a pilot. [B]Your Story:[/B] Ivan is the son of Jacob Almagest and traveled abroad with his father for most of his life until three years ago, shortly before Jacob was killed. Diane Almagest, his mother, immediately put all of her resources into finding the boy and bringing him home. Since then, Ivan has not been allowed to stray very far from their home in Czenovia. The death of his father also strained relationships between Diane and the other Almagests, effectively limiting the number of visitors the two entertain. This, combined with the memories of his various journeys with his father, left Ivan very bored. He begged his mother to let him leave the city, but she insisted he stay at home. Eventually, his persistence made her realize how desperate he was, and she let him leave, but only on one condition: he had to enroll at CHAOS and get an education. As a healer herself, Diane made every effort to set up Ivan for a future in medical alchemy. Ivan, however, was an explorer at heart. Medicine failed to hold his attention in class, and his grades plummeted dramatically. As a result, his grades slipped, and he's in danger of expulsion. [B]Skills:[/B] Somewhat adept at martial arts and knows very basic healing alchemy.[/FONT]

[quote name='necrojesta']I dont like naruto, one piece, DBZ and bo bo... err whatever because its all the same, someone has to defeat evil people and theirs always someone more powerful than them but they always live anyway either to win the battle with a random powerful strike when their near death or they lose but still live.[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]That kinda happens in everything. Seems awfully picky to be singling out just that single aspect of the shows. Not that I won't argue that at least one of those is terrible. Just not for that reason.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Haha, that was sweet. Interesting chapter here. We learned a few new things that will probably come in handy soon. 1: Foolish Replica Syaoran is... on the side of good now? Nice heroic sacrifice there. 2: Fei Wong can indeed bleed. Considering the fact that this is where they need to put an end to all his magnificent bastardry, this is a very good sign.[/FONT]

[quote name='Kei'][color=darkblue][size=1]Unless Naruto has suddenly acquired Jesus no jutsu and brings him back with natural chakra. >.>; [/color][/size][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well why not? He can already walk on water! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kill me. Anyway, Chapter 431: Pein is scared. I bet he's just now realizing that Kishimoto's horrible pacing is about to screw him big time. Naruto tells Gamachiki to get Tsunade out of the way because he definitely won't be needing any help in this fight against [strike]six[/strike] five extremely powerful opponents with mind links who can see through each others' eyes and all have a god complex. She gives him a good luck slug. He sticks it in his pocket, presumably so he can tease Sakura with it later. OH BY THE WAY GUYS KAKASHI'S DEAD. JUST THOUGHT I'D REMIND YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I hate this series, have I mentioned that lately? Loli Pein summons a Rhinoceros, which Naruto gets pissed at for no reason and throws. There's this nonsensical cut during this part involving Tsunade and Sakura sharing some kind of sentiment that isn't fully explained because there's too much happening and you can barely recognize what the first two panels are supposed to represent. More animals, Naruto makes a face that I'm assuming would look less utterly retarded if I was reading a better scanlation. Fukusaku and Mama Toad jump up and emit a technique that basically amounts to singing so badly that Loli Pein's animal summons are physically wounded. Oh boy you guys here it comes. Naruto's about to use a new jutsu. Know how I can tell? He's cloning himself. THAT IS WHAT HE ALWAYS FREAKING DOES. Two clones, making one giant Rasengan each. How unexpected, it involves Rasengan. Both of them collide with the summons, making it four fodders down and most of Pein still left. Stop wasting my time. The big toads are about to do something cool. instead of seeing it, we're treated to more Naruto. He's about to attack Physical Pein. "Naruto, ninja techniques won't work on this Pein! He'll absorb any Techs you use." Freaking Navi Slug. Also, that just made me briefly compare Tales of Symphonia to Naruto. I didn't enjoy doing that to one of my favorite games to waste time on. "Then I'll just use frog katas!" ...I am a martial artist. A Kata is a series of moves strung together in a pattern that almost looks like a dance. While they would hypothetically work in certain situations, it is STUPID STUPID STUPID to try to actually do them in the middle of a fight to the death. Naruto throws a FALCON PAWNCH that affects Physical Pein in a way that only makes sense if he punched his freaking head off. It sends him spinning, head intact. Meanwhile, the Big Toads are finishing off the summon monsters. In the sky. Because fighting in the air is cool. And Now Naruto's getting ready to nuke all of the Peins at once with his newest technique. This should definitely work, especially since Pein himself just nuked all of Konoha, failing to kill just about everyone but Kakashi and Shizune. The end.[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']So, wait, why were the kids taken away? Is it because of the names? Because that doesn't really sound like a very reasonable basis for taking children...[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'm sure there's some other reason in there somewhere. But seriously. [B][I][U]Aryan Nation.[/U][/I][/B][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]You guys know how they have those movies with the touching scenes with standing ovations and all that? I'm reenacting one of those scenes right now.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]There's some twisted form of minuscule logic behind it, but from where I'm standing, all they would succeed to do in changing the name is morphing fish from "eh, seafood. Gimme a burger," to "a delightful aquatic twist on a Chinese delicacy!"[/FONT]