The Spectacular Professor

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][B][SIZE="4"]- Part 5 -[/SIZE] July 22nd, 2014 10:00 A.M. District Court Defendant’s Lobby No. 2[/B][/CENTER] “So what did you find, Ace?” “Not much, Prem. Just some bloodstains on the pavement and this bloodied bat that was somehow overlooked by the investigation team.” Prem shook his head. “Man, that’s pathetic. Where do they get their recruits?” “I have no idea,” sighed Ace, “this thing is our biggest lead, though. Also, you’re still the prime suspect, even though I succeeded in confusing the court quite nicely yesterday. We need to get you off the chopping block and I think I know how to do it.” “It’s so strange,” mused Prem, “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away -” “And with any luck they’ll be leaving again sometime in the next two hours,” Ace cut in, “Well, we’d better get in there, come on.” [CENTER][B]July 22nd, 2014 10:15 A.M. District Court Courtroom No. 2[/B][/CENTER] “So remind me again why court starts 15 minutes after the hour, Ace,” asked Chibi. “I‘m not sure, but I think the clock in here is 15 minutes early. You’d think they would have gotten that fixed by now.” “Welcome back, all in attendance. Yesterday the trial was ended on the note of further investigation. Has the defense made any new discoveries?” asked the Judge. “Yes, ma’am,” replied Ace, “we discovered a possible murder weapon left behind at the scene of the crime. It was lying out in plain sight, yet the investigators somehow overlooked it.” “I’m surrounded by morons,” sighed Gavin, “one more mistake like that and they’ll be paying to work.” “That reminds me, Mr. Zeitgeist. How is it that you prosecutors threaten the police force with salary cuts even though you have no real power over such a thing,” questioned Ace. “Because we’re awesome,” replied Gavin, “Those people are fools and I will not tolerate their incompetence any longer.” “Moving on,” the judge said through her teeth, “Is there any news on the unidentified flying object?” “None, Your Honor. The defense at this time believes it was just a bird. Anyway, we would like to present evidence now.” “Very well, Mr. O’Turney,” replied the justice, “let’s see this evidence.” Ace gestured towards the middle of the floor and whistled. A group of men ran in, chanting “hut, hut, hut.” The made their way to the middle of the room, set up a scarecrow-like object, then ran off as quickly as they came, still chanting ”hut, hut, hut.” No one dared to question the sheer bizarreness of this occurrence. The scarecrow had a ponytail and a crude-drawn on face complete with crude, incomplete facial hair. “This,” began Ace, “Is a dummy of the victim, Tical ‘Digital’ Boy.” “ No, the dummy was the victim!” shouted a juror, who was immediately removed and replaced, having revealed that he had a connection to the case. “Anyway,” continued Ace, watching the hapless former jury member being dragged off kicking and screaming by bailiff Dagger, “I am going to demonstrate why my client could not have killed this man.” Ace lifted the bat. “My client recently had hand surgery, meaning he could not have possibly swung the bat hard enough to do THIS!” he yelled, Sending the replica’s head flying, “What’s more, he also would have had to hit the body multiple times, like THIS!” he continued, beating the doll so hard that candy began to fall out, despite the fact that there was previously none in there. “Um, Ace?” queried Chibi, “Are you okay?” “Never felt better,” replied Ace, grinning maniacally as he put the bat down and proceeded to punch the tattered remains of the scarecrow. “That’s enough, Mr. O’Turney,” interrupted the Judge, “You have made your point. The defendant can’t have murdered this man, because you’re enjoying it too much! I hereby formally declare you to be the prime suspect in the murder case of Mr. Tical Boy!” Ace only had one thing to say. “D’OH!”[/FONT]

[IMG]http://randomc.animeblogger.net/image/Lucky%20Star/Lucky%20Star%20-%2010%20-%20Large%2025.jpg[/IMG] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]...Except the ones that want one.[/FONT]

"Hey, Phil! How's it hangin'?"

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER]Here lies Ace. His last words will be forever remembered: "Hold my Coke. I wanna try something."[/CENTER] Alternatively: [CENTER]"You'll pay for this, Allamorph!"[/CENTER][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]And for completion's sake, here's the other part, showing who exactly Patrick is onto. Note Squidward dying twice. [YOUTUBE]J2avdf289OY[/YOUTUBE] EDIT: Wait, there's more? [YOUTUBE]f-RQQO30sVA[/YOUTUBE] [YOUTUBE]pZhEvQiyO0w[/YOUTUBE] I'm starting to feel sorry for Squidward here. Also, I predict Sandy as Misa.[/FONT]

[quote name='Indi'][COLOR="Indigo"]First of all interesting avatar there Gavin. :blulaugh: And since I think Aceburner will get a kick out of this along with Zelda fans I present this comic. [URL="http://fc06.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/104/b/e/Tloz__Objection_by_Salevits.jpg"][U]Objection![/U][/URL][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Yeah, pretty much. It's like that in most of 'em, but TP and that ball and chain are the worst offenders. Nice find, Indi! Anyway, since we're into video games: [YOUTUBE="This better be in Guitar Hero 5."]bHCDa337kzI[/YOUTUBE][/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Actually, one more thought. This has worked for me in the past. If you're using Firefox, refresh the page while holding Shift. If you're using IE, do it while holding Ctrl. This refreshes the page using info on the site's server instead of your computer's cache. It's possible that it's not registering the changes because it's using previous settings that your computer has been to the page under.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Sounds like you've been playing with the World settings accidentally. Here's what ya do. 1: Go to your little sign in box and click "MyOtaku." This should take you to your MyO page. 2: Go to the side bar over there and click "Backroom." 3: From there, there should be options for "Edit Profile" and "Edit Styles." That should be the stuff you need. If this doesn't help, I wish you luck figuring out what the problem is.[/FONT]

[quote name='chibi-master']Too la~ate! Fanfiction.net, here I come!!!:animesmil[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]*prepares Reigun* Put the pen down, Chibi. You ought to be ashamed. Poor ol' Fanfiction.net is already plagued with too much nonsensical smut as it is. In fact, I hear Hitler was a NaruSaku shipper. You don't want to be like Hitler, do you? No, but sorry about that, Gavin. I couldn't resist the obvious joke.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Ace's Chapter Recap Chapter 410 The chapter starts with Sasuke going over battle tactics with Team Hawk. He tells Karin to watch his back. Seriously, dude? Now it's as if you want to get she-raped. Anyway, after that there's a decent-looking color spread of a bunch of dead guys plus Naruto and Kakashi. Cut back to Sasuke's fight. Suigetsu rushes the 8-tails Jinchuuriki and gets uber pwned instantly. Back to Naruto, we learn that he doesn't really have to die. He just has to hold still. If he can do that and learn to control nature's flow of chakra without some weird oil, he'll be home free. If not, he'll turn into a frog. Of course, taking into account our zero's attention span, let's just say I predict a lot of bad Yaoi fanfictions involving Sasuke turning Naruto into a handsome prince in our future. Anyway, apparently what Gamachiki meant was he might have to 'die' as a human. Thanks for being less vague, jerk. Meanwhile, back on the funny farm, Juugo's out like a light. Oh, and the black guy raps. See, that's not insulting or stereotypical at all. Totally cool, Kishi. All black people do that. It's fine. Cut back to Naruto, apparently for kicks and giggles. Naruto does his typical "you can't deter me because I'm a moron!" speech and the training begins. Cut back to Sasuke (make up ya friggin' mind, Kishi,) and we see that everyone is somehow surprised that he mashed up The Hulk and Waterboy. Sasuke moves in, no doubt to unload a clip of nuclear shenanigans right in the 8-tails' face. End chapter. Phenom: I don't think he's really a bee. That was just one of the mad rhymes he was bustin'. And it seems a bit too early to call any personality at all on the guy, though who can say if Kishi knows what a personality is anymore.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Each season of [B]Digimon[/B] is about 48-52 episodes, which is relatively short. Also, each one other than 2 is a stand-alone series. I recommend the first or third season if you go along this route (providing you haven't already seen them.) Also, [B]Lupin III[/B]. It's not short by any means, but each episode is more or less a completely unrelated incident, which means you can watch a few, get your fix and come back later without missing much at all. You can basically stop wherever you want. Finally, Catch a few Miyazaki movies. Maybe a little shorter than you had in mind, but they're mind-blowingly awesome and worth watching multiple times.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]It was basically a list of what I'd seen enough of to judge. Unfortunately, guess what I haven't seen more than about 10 minutes of.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]List of American children's cartoons better than[B]Spongebob Squarepants[/B]: [B]Freakazoid Animaniacs Dexter's Laboratory Johnny Bravo Powerpuff Girls Pinky and the Brain Batman: The Animated Series Fairly Oddparents The Flintstones The Jetsons Scooby-Doo Danny Phantom Courage the Cowardly Dog Tiny Toon Adventures Looney Toons[/B] The list goes on, but I don't feel like naming any more names. This isn't even counting anime or stuff like [B]The Simpsons[/B] or [B]Family Guy.[/B] No live-action shows, either. I will say this: The first few seasons of Spongebob were pretty decent. The writing was kind of funny, it was pretty original and the gags made sense. After a while, though, they got to relying too much on shock value and jokes that make no sense. I really have no idea how it became so incredibly popular, though. It never really was anything special. If you want to restrict the comparison to Nick, [B]Fairly Oddparents[/B] was funnier for longer, only having lost the magic touch about 2 years ago. After that, it's all been downhill (seriously, a baby? Why?) But yeah, I can tolerate Spongebob. I'd just prefer [B]Freakazoid[/B].[/FONT]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/zelda/falvoavatar.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/zelda/egaliaavatar.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]As Falvo made a small number of ceremonial flights around his family roost on Death Mountain, he noticed a number of strange, rock-like creatures wandering the lower parts of the dormant volcano. "The Gorons look well," the young Rito thought to himself. It was strange that despite all of the differences between the two races, they coexisted rather peacefully, whereas the very humanoid Rito were still despised and rejected by the Hylians and Humans. Falvo had always taken it as a sign that there was still hope for peace in the world, and vowed that he would do everything in his power to achieve such a thing. At the end of his third circling pattern, the boy decided that he would make a few stops before finally arriving at the Castle to enlist. His first just happened to be at the foot of the mountain, so he adjusted his flight pattern accordingly and lit neatly in front of a wide, fancy cave entrance that had obviously been hand-chiseled. "Falvo, my boy!" laughed a large, rotund Goron, "how are you, ya little chick?" "This one is doing quite well for himself, Uncle Link," replied Falvo, "I can see that thou art not faring too badly either!" The Goron laughed and patted his chest. "Ah, but those are just the perks of being the leader of our clan, young'un! What are you here for, anyway?" Falvo took a breath. He was aware of the history behind the great leader's name and needed to approach it very delicately. "Well, Uncle Link, I am finally embarking upon my great ritual journey. I plan to join the Hylian army to combat the evil of this world both outward and within and I need to know about... The Hero of Time," he ended sheepishly. Link's face had been gradually growing more solemn with every word, and with the phrase "Hero of Time," the look in his eyes made Falvo think that he would never feel happiness again. "Aye," he said, "The Hero of Time. I wish not to speak of the violent thug plaguing the countryside as we speak, but I will say this; the Hero of Time, the legendary harbinger of justice and light and my very namesake, is not the blackguard everyone speaks of today. That unspeakable criminal is not the man I once knew." "Thank you," replied Falvo, "I understand thy plight and appreciate thy help." "Think nothing of it!" replied the Goron, back to his usual chipper self, "If I didn't do all I could to help you, why I'd never be able to negotiate with your father. As for your mum, she'd outright kill me!" Falvo smiled a little, finding it hard to picture his overprotective mother capable of murder. "Anyway, you'd better take this," said Link, holding out a black cloak, "we all know how it is out there, and it may be best not to reveal your true nature until you've arrived at the Castle." "Thou art too kind, Uncle Link," replied Falvo, jumping up to catch the wind, "I shall see ye again someday!" [CENTER]. . .[/CENTER] Falvo's arrival in Castle Town was quite discreet. He made sure to conceal any loose feathers to prevent telltale molting and pulled the cloakthe bottom of his face in order to hide is beak. He continued down the street relatively unnoticed. A little way down, he saw another Rito sitting beside the street. His wings were unkempt and his beak was slightly cracked on the left side. He was very thin and his eyes betrayed neither happiness nor even a glimmer of hope. Falvo bowed his head slightly as he dropped a small amount of coins into the worn hat beside this pitiful creature. The other looked up and smiled weakly, which made Falvo all the more upset with the poor Rito's plight. Further along the street, Falvo espied an apothecary. He approached to see if the shop was open. No such luck. Not one to give up so easily, he decided to see if the owner was still in. He rapped the door sharply several times. Egailia's head poked around the door. "What do you want, boy? Make it snappy, I need to make the cats stop playing with my leftover boar's blood." "Pray, what be the blood for?" questioned a slightly shaken Falvo. "Just a divinity I'm working on. Now what is it you're after? I'm a very busy woman." "Are not divinities forbidden in this land?" Egaila sighed. "Look you little upstart. I'm working on a top secret spell and now that you know the nature of it, I really ought to kill you. Know why you're still alive? because I've taken interest in you and I think you'll be useful for this, Rito." Falvo's eyes widened. "How did you..." " I know a lot of things," she interrupted, "now get inside or there's a ritual sacrifice in your future."[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Every Urban Jungle needs an Urban Treehouse for Urban George of the Urban Jungle to live in. IN THE URBAN JUNGLE![/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]The problem isn't really just self-esteem here. The thing is, parents indulge their children way too much in the interest of "self-esteem" over here. Kids end up getting egos bigger than Jupiter, getting all full of themselves and never learning a thing because they think they already know everything. Meanwhile, their parents end up letting them do whatever they want without any consequences, which leads to all kinds of trouble. So too much self-esteem with no justification is useless. I can't say that self-esteem itself is useless. After all, low self-esteem makes emos. Nobody wants the planet to be overrun with emos.[/FONT]

[quote name='Shy'][size=1]Also: Can everyone start using posting avatars in their posts (if they aren't already?) It's much less of an issue when your post only contains your own character, but once large groups of them start interacting they help a great deal. Plus, they look nifty. -Shy[/size][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Except mine, but sure thing. I'll definitely do that. In fact, I should edit my first post to include mine. Sorry for not posting earlier, I was basically without internet except for some small amounts of time midday. I'll try to post a little later when I get caught up.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][IMG]http://lhou.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/urahara01-2.gif[/IMG][/CENTER] Once again, Death God with cane sword > Death God without.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Haha, yes! Nice! Video game physics: Don't try this at home, kids.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Alright, I'm getting tired of this, I'll just lay it all on the table here. [I]I get his deal.[/I] I know how the Joker operates and all that. I know he's supposed to be funny in a dark way. I know he's supposed to be flashy and big. I'm just not too fond of the Joker in general. I guess I've always preferred the other guys, like Killer Croc or Two-Face. The serious ones. I've never really liked how Joker can kill, torture and maim on a whim and then just laugh it off right afterwards. Not that I grudge you all on it, but it's really not my cup of tea. (By the way, what was up with Scarecrow in the beginning there? Was there really a point in him reappearing? I thought he was dealt with.) To end on a lighter note here: Shark-Repellent Bat Spray. Discuss.[/FONT]

[quote name='James'][font=franklin gothic medium]However, that isn't because of the way Ledger died (P.J. was right with what he said). I think it has more to do with the fact that this was a violent and dark film. It's probably fine for teens, but probably not so good for very young children.[/font][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I really never meant for it to sound that way. I was just using it as an example for how gritty and dark it is. Bad example, I see. As for Joker, yeah. I know. It just kind of bothered me how everyone in the theater instantly cracked up every time he shot a guy in the face. No hesitation at all. The guy [I]is[/I] supposed to be a creep, after all.[/FONT]

[quote name='P.J. McKrafty'][FONT=Arial][COLOR=Navy] Heath Ledger didn't commit suicide, he accidentally overdosed on prescription drugs and passed out face first on his bed where he asphyxiated. His suicide was a rumor, he might have lived if he hadn't fallen face forward. P.S. made #1 on top 250 on imdb today! [/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I know, but it's still the most popular theory due to the shock factor. I'm unconvinced, but there are plenty who still are.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Well, I saw it finally. I was fairly satisfied with it, but I had a few problems. [spoiler]-The Joker himself. Heath was awesome and he was both scary and a bit funny, but heres the deal: The guy's a walking contradiction. Seriously. That pencil thing? I was torn. Sure, it seemed like it should have been pretty funny, but the guy just killed someone. He has all these fun little eccentricities, but the whole point of the character is that he's a murderous psychopath who does it all for the lulz. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to like him or what the deal was.[/spoiler] -There were young children in the audience. Seriously, people. Folks think some guy committed suicide over his role in this movie. Why the hell are you bringing your four year olds? [spoiler]-The ending. It was way too depressing. I know Batman had nothing but the best intentions with the cover-up, but considering the fact that the Joker and his guys were waging all-out war on the city and thus the blame could have easily lain with them, it was not only pointless, but worse. Now the city is being told that the invincible, untraceable Dark Knight murdered five people in cold blood and is still running around the city in his Bat-tights at night? Sure, that makes me feel better.[/spoiler] Other than that, well-made, decent movie. I preferred Begins, though. Personally, I think [spoiler]Two-Face[/spoiler] should have been the main villain of this one. He's got a lot of the same motives and such, but he's harder to like, which is what always bothered me about the Joker. No matter how evil he got, you could never totally hate him. And Joker is pure evil at its finest. [SIZE="1"]Now just a quick note: don't crucify me on this one, please. This is the small opinion of one guy who didn't like the movie quite as much as you all did.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[CENTER][IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee132/Runaway511/zelda/falvoavatar.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Falvo had nearly finished packing. His few extra changes of clothes, some spare change, and a little bread and cheese were all lying neatly on a loose bedsheet on the floor of his room. He bundled it up neatly and tied it to his halberd, Mercury. "Well old friend, it's time we departed, nay?" he addressed the weapon, admiring its craftsmanship. "And where dost thou think ye be going?" questioned a formidable-looking she-rito from the doorway. Falvo turned to her. "Ah, mother. I know how thou feel about mine departure. Still, it is high time that this one stretched his wings and left the nest, as it were." "And pray, what would ye do out in yon world with naught but a fancy spear and some odd trinkets, o son of mine?" "As we speak, yon Gerudo army is gathering forces, yea, whispers echo on the wind of the return of the Dark One. I must join the fray and help end this threat!" "Son, thy kind is mistreated and abused by Hylians, Humans and Gerudo alike. Our kind is best kept to our kind." "Mother, if this darkness is allowed to fall, there will be no 'keeping to ourselves.' There will be none of ourselves to keep to! And after all, be we not descended from the noble Zora race? Surely not all of Hyrule hath forsaken us. The Queen, perhaps-" "Aye, the Queen!" snapped Falvo's mother, "The Queen who hasn't come to our aid in over a century and her murdering scum of a hero!" "Mother, these be dark times for the entire world. There must be some willing to take a stand. Yea, even one such as I would be foolish not to aid a world in need, no matter how that world forsakes us." And with that, Falvo took a running leap out of the window, halberd tied to his back securely. "Be safe," his mother whispered, a tear trickling down her cheek as she watched her son fly off towards the cold, cruel world he was so determined to save.[/FONT]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Sorry for the wait, but here's my pic. [IMG]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/RitoWarrior.jpg[/IMG] Yeah. Pretty... not so pretty, ain't he? I tried, but I'm not a very good artist in general. Sorry about that.[/FONT]