Tibby

I'm a white American, and my fiance is Japanese. Around here, that is a very unusual combination. There are many asian women with white men, but not many white women with asian men. Most of our problems came from his male asian friends, because they are told their entire lives that they must marry a nice asian woman. Even after we got serious, his friends would try to introduce him to other asian women. His parents hated me at first, but, after they got to know me, and see how happy he is, they are starting to accept our relationship. They decided they'd rather put up with a white daughter-in-law than be cut out of their son's life! My parents were worried that our cultural differences would cause problems, but we've worked through most of those. I think one of the hardest parts about an interracial relationship are the cultural differences. He and I have almost broken up because we just couldn't communicate properly with each other! Not only are we dealing with culural barriers, but there is also a language barrier! We definitely get some strange looks when we're out in public, but the snide comments are in languages that we can't understand, so we don't care! I know that I'll never be fully accepted by his family and his asian friends, but I've accepted that. I love him and plan to stick around no matter what anyone says or does! Besides, the way I see it, the only thing that matters is the two of us, and not what other people say. Why bother focusing on the negatives?

I drink my coffee black and strong! I drink french-pressed coffee in the mornings, and espresso the rest of the day. I usually use Illy beans, and I grind them myself. I used to have a favorite coffee shop. It was owned by an Italian family. He knew just how to make my espresso! Every other shop makes espresso too weak, and some places try to serve it in a huge cardboard cup! They would also order extra bags of Lav Azza beans for any of their regulars who wanted them. Sadly, the Italians sold the shop to non-Italians who couldn't make good espresso. So, I currently do not have a favorite shop. Sorry to all you Starbuck's fans, but for a true coffee connoisseur, Starbuck's is horrible! Since I was raised on coffee, I don't know much about tea. My fiance is Japanese, and drinks tea. He's made me some, but I don't like it. It's so weak! He's given up on getting me to drink tea, and I've given up on getting him to drink coffee. I've grown up in a family that has always drunk coffee. We have people over, we always serve coffee. We sit around the kitchen table, relax, and chat over coffee. Whenever I have people to my house, the first thing I ask is if they want coffee. My friends often come over just to relax and chat over coffee and espresso, because they say, since the Italians sold the shop, I make the best coffee and espresso in town! Coffee and espresso also help me to quiet down my brain, and focus on what I need to do. Coffee, to me, isn't merely a drink to keep me awake!

Have you ever wanted to run away? Have you ever gotten into your car to run an errand, but just wanted to keep driving? Or, wanted to hop on a plane, bus, train and just go somewhere, anywhere but here? If so, why? Did you go? If you didn't, what stopped you? I was doing some shopping, and saw signs for the highway. I almost jumped onto the highway to drive to an old friend's place in another state. I had just found out that a person whom I'd known and trusted for over a year had been deceiving me about something very important, trying to get me to do something that would have been so horrible because of the thing I was being deceived about! It's not the first time that that exact thing had happened to me. Sorry it's so vague, but I'd rather not give out too many details. However, I didn't go, because leaving my boyfriend, even for so short a time, would be very hard for me. Plus, I didn't want to worry him over my disappearance. Lastly, I have no money!

I've kept a journal since I was 9. When I was 9, it was pretty much a recording of the day's events. As I matured, the journal matured. Now, I write about events that happen and my feelings. My journal is very private to me, as I write absolutely everything in it! Like Domon, I use it to rant because I don't always want to be dumping on other people! My journal did get me in trouble once. My boyfriend grabbed it as a joke, and it opened to a page that recorded me talking to a guy that he told me not to talk to. That was a huge mess, but we worked it out. My journal has been sacred ever since! However, now, he and I are so close that he knows everything I now write down. I really enjoy writing my feelings, because sometimes stuff will come out that won't come out when I talk about it with other people. I also love going back and reading my old journals. It's especially nice to have all the records from the days when I first noticed and asked out my boyfriend!

I spend most of my free time either reading or dancing. I love reading classics and philosophy.

[QUOTE=strwpoptart][color=green][font=garamond] 3. This one is a little weird so no one laugh at me now :animeblus ....but in order for me to fall asleep at night (unless I'm completely exhausted and can fall right asleep) I have to imagine myself in some sort of fantasy (NOT always sexual my little perv friends :P). It could simply be putting myself into a role of a movie, book, or anime that I have seen or read.[/font][/color][/QUOTE] *giggles* I'm the same way! If I don't have some sort of fun little adventure (non-sexual, people!!) in my head, then I think about negative things that keep me awake!

Anime is a big guilty pleasure for me! I am also a huge Siam Shade fan. Not that I'm ashamed of that; their music is amazing! However, with the heavy asian population here, it's just better to keep a low profile about such things. It's bad enough having those stupid boys snickering at me in the library when I check out manga or the people in the market giving me strange looks when I buy Pocky! Honestly, when I see asian people eating pizza or reading Harry Potter, I don't laugh at them! Anyway, that's the end of my rant.

I think some anime is good, and it's also good that it's been offered on the television for people who otherwise can't afford it. It's always good to be exposed to a variety of things! However, it would be bad if anime completely took over! I've seen people who's lives were completely taken over by anime, to the point that they were depressed that they were white Americans and not Japanese, and they would only date asians. Most asians don't want to date white people, so that leads to more depression. So, anime in moderation = good. Anime taking over = bad!

My worst break-up was also me doing the breaking up. I was dating a man who started acting stranger and stranger and more and more possesive. I won't go into detail, but I eventually figured out he had lied to me about his age (he was much older!) and was married! I guess he was financially ready to take on a mistress with all the bells and whistles: house, clothes, shoes, car. So, I dumped him, and didn't pick up his calls. He started showing up at my work and following me around! It was really scary. About closure, I pretty much made all my own closure. I made it clear to the guy whether it was possible for us to still be friends once things settled down, or that he was a total jerk and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

[QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman][color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]Well I'm no expert, but I think love can feel like a lot of things. It can feel like someone just punched you in the stomach. Or it can make you float. Sometimes it can even be butterflies. That's what my friends say to look for. The butterflies.[/color][/font][/QUOTE] Everyone always talks about butterflies, but I never got butterflies in my stomach over Natin. I just knew from the begining that I wanted to be with him all the time. It's a vague and undefinable thing. I got butterflies over other guys, but not my love! It really depends on the person.

*giggles* Your stories are hilarious! Switchback, it's so good you didn't get caught! Too bad there were no cameras around! Jiazu, I think you guys have a very promising career in covert ops. I have this image of you guys trying to shove a huge box over a fence, and it's hilarious! I had something happen yesterday. Natin wasn't too busy with work, so he went with me to run errands. I go out at the same time, and usually go to the library. A group of Korean boys also go at that time. The library carries manga, so I always get some, and the Korean boys always laugh at me. Well, yesterday, Natin was with me. He's Japanese, really muscular, and can look really scary. He was looking in another section, and I went to grab some manga. On my way back to him, he was walking to meet up with me, and saw the Korean boys laughing at me. He was wearing a T-shirt that had become a little small on him, so it was pretty obvious that he's a muscular guy. Natin doesn't like it when anyone messes with me, especially if they are asian males, for some unexplained reason. So, he puts on his "I'm a scary and tough asian man" face, glares at them and crosses his arms (which really shows off his muscles), and then gets to me and puts his arm me and kisses me. The expressions on the faces of the boys was hilarious! Their faces fell and their eyes got really wide. They quickly bent over their work. I wonder what will happen next week? It's such fun to see the smiles wiped off of obnoxious people's faces!

[quote name='MistressRoxie][color=#9933ff]Haha. Sometimes I do this too when I procrastinate. It turns into "The six degrees of Wikipedia" for me. Which is how I found out that TM Revolution actually played Seymour in some sort of Japanese version of the musical [u]Little Shop of Horrors[/u'][/color][/quote] Okay, firstly, I would like to say that TM Revolution is very strange little man...and I now have bizarre images of him and a plant in my head. Some of his music is good; great for dancing, but he himself....very strange. Anyway! I definitely procrastinate! On schoolwork, housework, just about everything. I have a hard time focusing on things. I'll flit from task to task, and end up getting very little done. When procrastinating, I'm either chatting online, watching anime, watching music videos, talking on the phone, or posting in forums. Espresso usually gets me to focus on getting things done. I have a pretty good system. I drink espresso, focus, and drink another when I can tell the first one is wearing off, and so on.

If your cycle is normally irregular, and there are no other signs, you shouldn't worry just yet. Being tired and gassy could be from stress. It could also be a change in eating, exercise, or sleeping habits. Definitely tell your boyfriend, because I'm sure you must be worried (even though you shouldn't be yet!), and this way he can share your worry and help to support you. If it would make you feel better, get one of those tests and see what happens. You can message me if you want to talk or anything!

"But i was wandering if anyone relates to Japanese otaku, not just through a love of anime, but through being singled out as geeky and anti-scoial?" Well, I can't give a big long academic answer about Japanese otaku. My boyfriend is Japanese, so I braved going into his "cave" (aka his office) to ask him about it, but all he said was, "Anime nerds. Worse than you. I need to focus on this." However, I can tell you that I guess I'm the only one who has felt singled out due to my interest in anime. My school is in a very conservative area. There is an anime club, surprisingly, but the members are definitely singled out. Despite the fact that there are enough members and a teacher more than willing to sponsor the club, every year, it has a hard time getting approval. It's not seen as a "real club." The anime fans are safe amongst each other, and other non-conservative students: artsy types, liberal-types, etc. However, the majority of the students are conservative, and some can be quite mean!

It's not love that is complicated; it's people that are complicated! You obviously feel very strongly about her, and the fact that you want her to be happy, even if it's not with you, is a very good sign! I can't tell you if you're in love or not. That is something only you can know and the way love feels depends on the person. I know this isn't much help, but, when you fall in love, you just know. You just know that that is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life and whatever comes after. Right now, she's really hurt, and still recovering from the last jerk who hurt her. Stay in her life, but give her her space. You don't want to scare her away nor annoy her. Be her friend, be there for her, show her that you're not a jerk and that she can trust you. It may take some time, but, if it works out, it will be very much worth it!!

I personally find life far more amusing than sitcoms because life is totally unscripted! There is no piped-in laughter to warn us when something totally crazy is about to happen. What makes it even funnier is that it's real. It's happened to a real person, and has actually happened. Please, share your funny stories! I'll start: My boyfriend has beautiful hair down to his chin. However, he keeps threatening to cut it in order to look more professional and mature. He had short hair when he was younger. I've seen pictures. He does look more mature. He looks like an old, nerdy asian businessman! Think of the nerdiest asian businessman you've ever seen, and you have him with short hair! All of my friends agree with me, and we always make fun of his pictures with short hair. He argues against us every time. Well, the other day, my mom came over and saw a picture of him with short hair. We were all standing in the room, and my mom asked if it was a picture of his father!! I burst out laughing and couldn't answer her. He became very quiet and still and his eyes narrowed. He knew he would never live that down! I'm happy to report he hasn't mentioned cutting his hair since!

I'm going to omit the first question, because I don't like people to know too much about me!! 2) Are you, or were you, worried? What do you plan to do with your life or are you just as confused, (and in some cases, scared) about the future as I am? It's very normal to be worried! Just about everyone is, with the small exception of people who know what they want to do, and people with trust funds! Besides, as they say, a small amount of worry is good, because it motivates you to work hard. 3) omit! Sorry! 4) What sort of advice can you give to someone like me? (Someone in high school who is freaked out of his mind) Breath! Focus! You still have time to decide. Follow your instincts, but also be prudent. Don't do something because people tell you to do it. If you want to pursue something with very few job oppurtunities, then do a dual major in computers or business. At least then you'll have a job to pay the bills until you land your dream job! As wonderful as "You can be the 10% who make it!" sounds, that's only 10%...you're more likely to be that 90% who doesn't make it! I hate to worry you more, but it's good to balance dreams and reality. Study hard for your SATs, and thoroughly research all possible colleges. With good SAT scores and grades, you'll be able to get into a decent college. Also, some colleges may cater to a wider variety of people, thus making it easier for you to make friends. If you're a liberal person, don't go to small-town, conservative college! If you're conservative, don't go to a liberal college in the city! Check out the clubs. If there is an anime club, you're set on friends! Many of the incoming freshman are in the same boat as you: all alone, shy, and nervous to make friends. Joining clubs is a great way to meet people. Avoid the temptation to hide out in your dorm at all times.

I agree with everyone else. Sever ties, just not with your grandmother. If you're stuck in a room with them, and they start slandering you, just leave. I had some issues with my immediate family like that, and I packed my essentials and walked out the door. Just because they are family doesn't mean they can treat you however they please! Maybe, after a cooling off period, they'll realize how stupid they've been and apologize. That's what happened with me. However, maybe they'll never realize their mistake, and you will never hear from them again. Or you could get the occasional angry contact. It could be that they are jealous of you and your sister, because they see you two as being successes, and they and their children have made nothing of their lives. However, I don't know all of the situation, so, in the end, you have to make the decision on your own. I wish you strength in dealing with this very tough situation!