Hero of Zero

[COLOR="SlateGray"]So, today was the official launch date for BioWare's latest video-game. Now, EA or no EA, I'm enough of a fanboy to pick it up on the very first day; I freakin' love BioWare. I've only played it for a couple of hours, and haven't gotten into the guts of it yet, but man, it's amazing. The combat is 3rd-person shooter style, squad-based and real-time. It's really pretty simplistic, and a little too easy. The graphics, also, could be better, and there are some strange bugs related to collision-detection within the graphical models themselves. But that's really pretty forgivable, since that's not what the game's about. It's a story-driven RPG, so obviously that's where it should shine... and it does. The amazing conversation system allows you to interact with NPCs like no game before it, and the voice-acting is very well done and varied. The core story itself is not exactly unique, but told very well and is something Sci-Fi fans should love. It's not nearly as linear as previous BioWare games like SW:KOTOR, and far larger in scope. It's a bit like ES: Oblivion in space, with hot alien chicks in bikins hanging out everywhere. Speaking of hot alien chicks, Commander Sheppard (You can't change his last name, just his first) gets to bone one. FREAKIN SCORE! Er, anyway, Mass Effect is exactly what I've been waiting for this year. A big Sci-Fi hard on inducer to keep me busy for hours on end; the promise of two sequels (knowing EA, eight sequels, an innumerable gaggle of overpriced expansion packs, and ****** customer support are also in the future here...) and episodic content periodically released (HOPEFULLY FOR FREE!) on Live every now and again has me very excited about this series. Now... can it compete for the Game of the Year this season? Tough call. BioShock has a lot of hype about it, but personally I thought it was way to linear and short; stunning graphically and full of all kinds of goodies but not the kind of thing you can play for weeks on end. Mario Galaxy and a couple of others should be competitive, but with the news that Assassins Creed isn't all its cracked up to be (Bugs, bad AI, etc etc), I think Mass Effect has a legit case. Woot, nerdboy rant over![/COLOR]

[QUOTE]In the case of many eroge, that would be like buying a.... oh, I don't know, a three hundred page book for three five-page sex scenes.[/QUOTE] [COLOR="SlateGray"] Well, Lolita's a best seller... Ann Rice... There are actually a lot of people who've made careers just like that.[/COLOR] [QUOTE]So why don't people just stick with those? Why are the story-driven games--the ones where you have to click through hundreds or thousands of lines of text to get to the ero--the bestsellers?[/QUOTE] [COLOR="SlateGray"] Because if someone goes through all the effort to write thousands of lines of text, he's probably going to be really meticulous about those sex scenes. A game which is just filler between sex scenes if liable to be mass-produced and cheap. And ok, [I]maybe[/I] there's some immersion aspect involved, but not to the point where you buy it purely for the text.[/COLOR] [QUOTE]Re: literary merit, I'd say that Saya no Uta is a cut above Atlas Shrugged. [/QUOTE] [COLOR="SlateGray"] Oh, hell ya. Atlas Shrugged is a POS, I was just dropping a name. What about, "It's porn, not Marcel Proust's In Search of Lost Time!" Better?[/COLOR]

[COLOR="SlateGray"]I freakin' love porn games. Believe it or not I own actual cartridges of the original Mystique porn games - Custer's Revenge, Beat Em and Eat Um, and Bachelor Party. I don't even own an Atari 2600. I'm a collector of pop-culture references, and they're part of my horde. Sweet stuff. A lot of porn games are just hilarious. Battle Raper has to be my favourite, mostly because it has the most awesome title ever. I don't ever... pull my goalie to porn games, because I only have so many hands and all. But I still play them, mostly for comedic value. The Japanese can come up with some seriously freaky ****. Also, many lolles at this thread for reading way to far into porn. It's porn, not Atlas Shrugged; saying you play porn games or read erotic mangas for the story is like my dad saying he has a cavern full of Playboys because he loves reading the articles. Be honest; you just skip right to the good bits like everyone else.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="SlateGray"]This thread makes me laugh. I'm way to laid back to be insulted. Every time someone insults me I'm pretty sure they're kidding - and most of them are. There's a lot of fun to be had insulting and being insulted. My favourite is the 'You are teh fats!' vein. There's just so many opportunities for hilarity. Ex: I has mantits. Me and my friends are playing tennis and some conceited ***** starts yelling at us for whatever reason, and about five minutes later I just yell "*****, you're just jealous because I have bigger tits than you!" Shut her up pretty good. Yo momma, yo face, that's what she said, etc etc... dumb insults are awesome.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="SlateGray"]I get the feeling most of these bands won't be known to this board, but whatever: (Favorite song in brackets) [u]Guys I Like[/u] [B] Humble Pie (30 Days in the Hole) Sly and the Family Stone (Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself Again) The Temptations (Papa Was a Rollin' Stone) Daft Punk (Better, Harder, Faster, Stronger) Lynyrd Skynyrd (Free Bird) Meatloaf (Bat Out of Hell) The Guess Who/BTO (American Woman) Janis Joplin (Try)[/B] [u]A Little More[/u][B] George Thorogood and the Destroyers (One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer) Stan Rogers (The Witch of the Westmoreland) Deep Purple (Child in Time) Chris de Burgh (Don't Pay the Ferryman) Captain Beefheart (Making Love to a Vampire with a Monkey on my Knee) Neil Young and Crazy Horse (Cortez the Killer)[/B] [u]The Better of the Best[/u] [B] Boston (More Than a Feeling) Eric Clapton/Cream/Blind Faith/Derek and the Dominoes (Layla) Blue Oyster Cult (Godzilla) Supertramp (Goodbye Stranger)[/B] [u]And the Top Five![/u] Five: [b]Jethro Tull[/b] The unconventional use of the rock-flute is only one of the reasons I love this quirky band; they simply kill. They can be both funny and down-right amazing technically, they are never hard on the ears. Not particularly profound - they generally sing about homeless pedophiles and how hard it is to be a rockstar - but I don't care, they're just great. (Thick as a Brick) Four: [b]Queen[/b] Freddy Mercury is simply amazing, the best vocalist to ever live, and one of the better frontmen. But he doesn't make the band - the amazing guitarist Steve May carries the lion's share, providing some of the catchiest and most rockable riffs ever. (Who Wants to Live Forever) Three: [b]Gogol Bordello[/b] Eugene Hutz's crazy multi-national Gypsy Punk band is simply insane. Totally nuts. With inane, high-energy music, they simply captivate you. Feautring an accordion player from Russia, an Isreali fiddler, a Ukrainian for a lead singer, and an American on the drums, they're the closest globalization has ever come to being rockable. (Start Wearing Purple) Two: [b]Bela Fleck and the Flecktones[/b] Bela Fleck is the god of the banjo. He's Banjodon. He can make a very simple instrument produce [I]rediculously awesome[/I] sounds. The band itself is a sort of pseudo-funk group, driven primarily by the best bassist to ever live, Victor Wooten. The one-man brass section, Jeff Coffin, is sick aswell - I've seen him make a saxophone sound like a guitar solo. The power of the wa-wa peddle... The eccentric drumitaring of the Futurman is pretty slick aswell. But what makes them so amazing is that they're almost entirely a live band - they can do everything [I]better[/I] on the stage than in the studio, and that is a rarity. Much props to their frequent guest musicians, too, including a Tartan throat-singer and a tabla master. (Big Country) One: [b]Frank Zappa[/b] As a person and as a musician, Frank Zappa is the man I worship. He's simply an unreal musician - no, a composer. He's so unconventional, so profound, so amazingly talented... there's no one better. (Broken Hearts are for ********)[/COLOR]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy'][COLOR="DarkOrange"]I lold. First I checked, saw a really hot shadow, stared at it a sec, and closed the tab. Then I realized I was actually supposed to look at her, so I did so again. She turns one way. However, each time I scrolled the mouse she changed directions with lot's of image flickers. Yeah, this is fake guys. [/COLOR][/QUOTE][COLOR="SlateGray"] It's a GIF, not a SWF. There's no programming involved. It's just a succession of images, all of which involve turning clockwise. It's a really neat optical illusion. I've managed to control it. It involves staring at the shadow; but still, I've showed it to a lot of people and some say it's moving clockwise and others say counter at the same exact time. I'm right-brained, apparently, but according to the descriptions I'd say I'm pan-brained. Ebony and ivory and all that.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="SlateGray"]Argh! October 11th may well mark the final blow to the single-player RPG. EA paid a whopping eight-hundred sixty-five million dollars to buy the company that owns both BioWare and Pandemic. Basically, they get Mass Effect. ****. I don't think they can seriously harm the game at this point - to far along - but we can expect the usual in regards to support and patches. I.E. none. And the two sequels, yea they'll be rushed out the door as per EA mantra. Not to mention the coming layoffs and other cost-cutting measures EA always uses to maximize profits. If I worked at BioWare or Pandemic I'd be scared ********. The worst part is that this is a back-door move. EA didn't buy either of the two companies, they just bought the company that owned them. Dirty bastards. EA has a history of doing this. They bought Westwood Studios - creator of the peerless Command and Conquer series - and turned them from innovator to ugly face in the crowd. Ever since taking over Maxis, there's been nothing but ****** Sims rehashes. Down and down the list it's no different - EA is where good ideas go to die. The innovation and unique, immersive gameplay that made BioWare franchises like Jade Empire and SW:KOTOR so damn fun are a thing of the past. As someone I know eloquently put it - they're like the Borg! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! ... Discuss.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="SlateGray"]She's just an example, a deterrent. Like when they used to string up pirates and criminals to scare people into being good. I feel bad for her because there are people with much larger collections of downloaded music getting off scott free; they basically picked her name out of a hat. I don't see the problem with downloading illegally. The record companies are greedy as hell, and the more money I keep from them the better I feel. The same goes for YouTube videos; copyright laws are ********. Freedom of information and all that.[/COLOR] [QUOTE]What's petty and spiteful is stealing in the first place. Don't let the fact that the fine was a bit too harsh sway you from the reality that she should have been smart enough to avoid downloading illegal stuff to begin with.[/QUOTE] [COLOR="SlateGray"] Yes, that's right, she should have spent her money supporting the corrupt and idea-killing music industry. Because that would solve everything.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="SlateGray"]If you need something done right, do it yourself. All I'm gonna say is that, on a good day, I make Revolver look like a monk. I'm like a masturbation ninja. It's crazy. Hah, how's that for a first post?[/COLOR]