Sabrina

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Blayze'][SIZE=1][b]"Is every odd-numbered Star Trek movie crap?" [/B]asked Kane with a smile, then, seeing Adam's blank face, he added, [B]"Yes."[/b][/SIZE][/QUOTE]For some reason, that line just made me laugh. :catgirl: Anyway, I'm curious to see what the rest of the team turns out to be so like so I'll be looking for the next chapter. [/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][CENTER]Lie Insidious Deceiving trick Uncovered so quick Subterfuge[/CENTER][/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]So many things one could do a poem on... Makes it hard to pick sometimes. Hehe. [CENTER]Veteran Battle-scarred Protector of truth Defending liberty for all War Hero[/CENTER][/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Lunox'][font=trebuchet ms] Not to downplay your request, but don't sweat it. Picking majors when signing up for the SATs really has no consequence whatsoever. You could pick Russian Literature and it wouldn't matter.[/font][/QUOTE]This is true, it will make no difference whatsoever when you start college. I mean... >_> I had no clue what I wanted to major in so I just randomly picked some that looked interesting. Once you start school, no one cares what you picked when signing up for the SATs. And if you haven't taken them just yet... good luck. :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]What a fun story this looks like it will be. I do have one suggestion for you, and it's really more of a format issue or rather style of writing issue and that pertains to this section here:[quote name='Blayze'][center][SIZE=1][b]"Do you really want my advice, sir?" "I'll take any I can get right now." "In my opinion, the best way to combat this threat is to reinstate some of our old security measures - the ones that were most effective in preventing this sort of thing last time." "Which measures?" "I think we need to reassemble the Invincibles." "The Invincibles? The Invincibles were loose cannons, they were unpredictable, and what's more, they haven't worked together in years. Who knows if they could be as effective this time round?" "That's as maybe, sir, but unless we can find a new team willing to go up against this kind of threat then I think the Invincibles are our best option." "You may be right, Chief Commissioner, but that doesn't detract from the distinct possibility that they could go awry."[/b][/SIZE][/center][/QUOTE]I'd recommend avoiding long blocks of conversation without any form of speech tags to help break it up a little. The standard he said, she said... that sort of thing. ^_^ They help the reader to stay focused and they're great for dramatic pauses where you want the reader to pause. Other than that, I have no suggestions other than for you to post more of it. :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Nice poem! ^_^ I?ve got a few suggestions so I?ll run them by you to see what you think. For starters, the sequence of events seem a little off to me. It starts with the sayings of how the person never came and they walked away, and then later on? they?re right there and looking away? It?s a little confusing and perhaps if you were to simply rearrange the verses that would help. Take the first verse and following single line between it along with the second verse, those seem more like they should be first switched around and then put either at the very end or before the very last verse. Sometimes it?s easier to just show what I mean so I?ll repost it if you don?t mind. [INDENT]I begged on my knees... Hoping you would forgive me For my mistakes. But you just stood there? I tried to make everything right... Hoping you would see That I always cared. You simply looked the other way? I cried for you? Hoping you would realize The pain I held for so long. Instead you walked away? I hoped that one day... You?ll come back to me Where I happily wait Just for you?to hold me. I waited for you? Hoping you would come And hold me till the day I die. Sadly you never came?[/INDENT] To me, that just seems to flow a little better and gives it more of an emotional impact, where the other seems all jumbled up. Also, in this verse here: [INDENT]I waited for you? Hoping you would come [strike]And[/strike] [B]To[/B] hold me till the day I die. Sadly you never came?[/INDENT] I'd suggest removing and and possibly putting something else in since and is often awkward and makes it seem like the writer accidentally hit the enter key and interrupted the sentence. Anyway, that's a very sad and emotional poem. I enjoyed reading it and I hope you don't mind the input and suggestions. :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='8bit'][FONT="Tahoma"][COLOR="DimGray"]Strangely addicting. Nice thread! :animesmil[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]Thanks! I'm glad you like it. :catgirl: [CENTER]Cold Tiring; draining Chills overtake you If only there was a cure Shivering[/CENTER] And yes, that's my way of saying I've got a cold. >_> So far it's not too bad but still. Blech![/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Aaryanna_Mom']That's really a nice idea. It reminds me of music lessons when I was younger and living at home, my teacher would have us compose a small melody for our mothers each year... goodness, I wonder if I still have that? Anyway, it's a fun poem, I like how it's all about describing what a mother is only to end with the reminder that you love her. Short and sweet.[/QUOTE]Oh! Hehe. That's actually what got me started on it, one of my teachers had us do that when I was younger. Write up poems to go along with cards we were making to give to our mothers. My mother really liked it so I continued doing it even though I had a different teacher the next year and she had us doing something else. That's pretty cool that your music teacher had you doing the same thing. Now if I remember correctly, from what [COLOR="Indigo"]Indi[/COLOR] has mentioned, you play Piano and Organ right? So was it for the piano or for the organ? Or... is the music to a certain degree the same? Well other than the multiple keyboards and keys you push with your feet aspect. XP Anyway, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed writing it. :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Just a recap of who?s signed up so far since I plan on launching this during the upcoming weekend: Treble Aaryanna Aberinkula indifference Gavin Aaryanna_Mom Ben Rachmaninoff Darren SunfallE I didn?t include your name Raiha since you didn?t answer my question of whether or not you were interested or not. ^_~ So if you are, then please post and sign up. Now there?s plenty of room for more people so if anyone else would like to join the fun then please do. *looks at Sir Allamorph who has yet to sign up* :p[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='SunfallE'][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"]And that just makes me glad we nailed her with that CD prank on the first. I swear... she's like the evil daughter of Des or something. XP[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]Hehe! Evil daughter of Dessy. That's just too funny! And seeing the chat logs with people's reactions... That was priceless. :catgirl: While I'm here, can you make suggestions for article submissions? Or rather ones that were just submitted? Since I think adding a little more in terms of details as to the changes made for April Fools would be a good idea. It would make it easier for someone who didn't see the prank to understand just what happened. I mean, the girls aren't dancing in the screen shot after all. So explaining that would help. ^_^[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Aceburner']I think I can officially say that this threat scares the crap out of me, knowing that if you knew my location (and it's probably pretty easy to find,) you'd keep your promise. It's probably best to lay low for a while.[/QUOTE]If you knew how non-violent [COLOR="Indigo"]Indi[/COLOR] really is... you'd laugh at her threat. Though now that I've said that... >_> She'll probably whack me upside the head or something. Hehe. :catgirl: Anyway, by far, the fake Zelda trailer, the Caramelldansen look for OB *is wishing we had that for a choice* and nailing[COLOR="Indigo"] Indi [/COLOR]were my favorite pranks this year. [/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Well I finished it and like you said Darren, The Princess of Disaster had a very interesting and weird back story as it were. I mean I was not expecting [spoiler]Takako to be the former Pretear who was in love with Hayate. Nor for her to turn evil and become Fenrir, the Princess of Disaster just because he didn't love her in return.[/spoiler] o_O I was not expecting Sasame to become [spoiler]Fenrir's Knight of Darkness after confessing that he was in love with her either.[/spoiler] I mean it was clear something was off for him but I wasn't expecting it to be that. That really surprised me. Anyway, I loved how the ghost hunting episode had everyone running in circles and it totally played on making things seem different than what they really were. That was fun because all the answers as to what was really going on was fun. I do love how this show wrapped up, even though it had me feeling like [spoiler]crying at first since it looked like they killed off Sasame and Himeno.[/spoiler] But then it had to go and change that and make me feel silly for getting sad. XP Now... I just need to figure out how to get a copy of the music to this show. :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Hi and welcome! ^_^ One of my hobbies is poetry, though usually it's only one of reading it from time to time. I do however on occasion actually write some short little poems. So I thought I'd start a thread for stuff that I write. Comments are most certainly welcome and if you do critique, all I ask is that you remember this is a hobby. It is something I do because I enjoy it, not because I am working to become a serious poet. ^_~ Now as for this piece, one of the things I tend to do each year is write a little poem to go along with a card and a small gift for my mom for Mother's Day. I may be more than a month away, but I already had the idea for it so I wrote it up this past week. Anyway, on to the poem! [INDENT][SIZE="3"][B]Mother[/B][/SIZE] More than just a simple expression One that forever grows and endures Throughout life its gentle power inherent Her love a powerful soother is hers to give Everlasting and true it brings you surety Remember mother that I love you[/INDENT][/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]I'm kind of sorry that the day is coming to an end, I've been laughing and giggling at the prank all day long. >_> As well as listening to the song... it's addicting. Hehe. [CENTER]Addiction Undeniably persuasive Energy is spent to obtain it Silly fun or unhealthy obsession? Fixation! [/CENTER] And if anyone says I'm addicted to that silly Caramelldansen song I'll deny it... though no one will believe it I'm sure. Hehe. :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]How would that work, exactly?[/FONT][/QUOTE]Uh.... You know, I'm not sure. :p Since none of you can see what I'm using anyway. *laughs wildly* Well... other than Indi. :catgirl: It's just so funny and wacky! I love it! Oh and while I’m here… *snickers* We decided to nail Indi for April Fools so one of my friends got a copy of the Caramelldansen song and we made a disk with nothing BUT that song on it. I then switched out her cd player this morning and put that disk in. :D She didn’t realize I had made the switch until after she left for school for the day. I of course gave back her real disk when she got back a little while ago and came into my room with the disk and called me a brat before asking for the real one back. Oh was that fun! :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Desbreko'][color=#4B0082]I might actually have to work on a Caramelldansen skin as a little side project. Ideas for color schemes and graphics are popping up fast now that you guys have mentioned it. :animesmil[/color][/QUOTE]That would be so cool, especially if it included the dancing girls, the matching avatars and youtube video in one's signatures. XD I know I'd secretly be using it all the time if there was one. Hehe! :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Right now it's cookies! Plain sugar ones that are slightly crunchy... Tomorrow it will be crackers! XP That's how it always goes with me. I get tired of cookies and love crackers, then I get tired of crackers and love cookies. :p No loyalty to either one as my current mood decides for me as to which one I love! Hehe.[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]I can't stop laughing at this or replaying the silly video in the signature. XD I love how it's just everywhere! Hehe. Also... that picture you posted Gavin... It reminds me of the Star Wars version that Indi posted to this song. Hehe. *goes back to listening to it* :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Gavin'][SIZE="1"]*Sighs* I guess I should have expected this, what with Des being the living incarnation of evil and all. I suppose I should be at least grateful he didn't manage to get the music playing continuously with it. *Sighs*[/SIZE][/QUOTE]You know... I wonder if that's even possible? I imagine that it is. In which case you may have doomed us even further! *laughs even more* Hehe! You should quit giving Dessy ideas! XD[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Oh my. XD That's just to totally and utterly hilarious! The Lucky Star version of that is what got me addicted to the show and brought me here in the first place! *laughs uncontrollably* Hehe. Oh what fun! :catgirl:[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Starwind'] The mind games and almost constant abuse are what get to people most of the time.[/QUOTE]I've heard about that, from some of my friends who did join. >_> I do think it's admirable, and yet at the same time I have no interest in it at all. At least not for myself obviously. I just can't see myself doing it, even if it would help out with college expenses, though to be honest, that's not a concern for me since it's already taken care of. Well the tuition - books - rent aspect. Beyond that I'm always poor. XP Anyway, it's great that people do want to do it and that it helps them get their education and build a career. I mean if you are going to serve, I think it's only fair that you benefit from it.[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='Zed']It was just too pink and fairy-tale like for my liking. [/QUOTE]Hehe. I can understand, after all it is loosely based on the fairy tale of Snow White. Anyway, I watched some more of this show. The continuation of the arguing between [spoiler]Hayate and Himeno[/spoiler] is great fun. It really gives the series a lot of fun and liveliness. And enter villian-ess. The Princess of Disaster which I assume is the equivalent of the Wicked Queen. o_O I get the feeling that she has an interesting back story behind her. *Goes back to watching*[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]>_> I know Sir Allamorph will understand the motivation behind this poem. XP [CENTER]Typo Unavoidably annoying Mortification at it's finest Oh how I wish I could spot them! Mistake![/CENTER][/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]I only have a few things to say about this and I‘ll start with this statement here:[quote name='Aberinkula;808859][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]Welcome to the latest, and possibly the last story I'll write[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]I have only one question and that is why bother to put in the statement that it’s possibly the last story? Do you mean in this series/universe or in general? Because if it’s in general, you’re what fifteen? That’s a pretty silly thing to say really, it sounds like you’re giving up or whining there. The idea that something will be your last… well that just seems pointless to even say if it has no bearing on the actual story.[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]Konata lowered Higar onto his bed. Salo walked into Higar’s room with Higar’s mother, the queen. She walked over to Higar and checked his back. She rubbed Higar’s back than held her hands over him. A few seconds after, a faint light shone from her hands. She was using magic to heal Higar’s back. [/FONT][/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote]The next is the concept of using other phrases instead of constantly relying on a characters name, I’ll show you what I mean by re-writing this loosely. [INDENT]Konata lowered Higar onto his bed. Salo walked into the room with Higar’s mother, the queen. She walked over and checked his back. She rubbed his back then held her hands over him. A few seconds after, a faint light shone from her hands. She was using magic to heal Higar’s back.[/INDENT] I’m not even going to address the grammar, wording and other issues, because to be honest, I don’t have time to do that complete of a critique here. Anyway, as you can see, it’s not necessary to keep using the character’s name and it can be overly repetitive and distracting to a reader when you do. So it’s best to keep that down to a minim whenever possible. Now I have one other thing to bring up and that is names, mainly Konata. If you are using that because you got it from the anime Lucky Star then that right there is a big no no. Unless it is a fan fiction on some level which in that case would be okay. If it’s not and it’s meant to be original, it’s best to avoid names from popular media such as shows, music and so forth that you are familiar with. Because you’ll unconsciously mimic them without even realizing it and that can throw off the originality of the work. Anyway, I hope that input helps a little. In all honesty, it’s not the type of story that I care for, but it was interesting to read through just the same. ;)[/FONT]

[FONT="Tahoma"]We already got our prank, a little early in the form of a snow storm... >_> Such a tease mother nature is. Giving us wonderful warm weather and then... [I]snap![/I] As for actual plans, I don't have any yet but I just know I'll end up doing something, I always do. Usually someone else comes up with the ideas though, I just help out. Hehe.[/FONT]