Kinetic

This is a story I wrote up in about 30 minutes, so it still needs to be edited, and this isn't even all of the first chapter, not nearly. I was just wondering what people thought so far: [b]An Altered World[/b] "That's not a reason to kill them", he thought, as he sat behind a bush. "It was a debt, they nearly had the money". His name was Zylics. His parents were talking to the man who had lent them some money while he was hiding behind a bush. "No," he heard, before the first gunshot. His eyes closed shut, and another gunshot was heard. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't, because then he would be killed. "No! They can't die! They can't die," he thought, as he ran towards his parents' bodies after the man had left. He held his mother in his arms, crying. He wanted to die. "In the news today," trailed off the voice in the radio. He woke up, sweat rolling down his face. He had been remembering that night, the night that his parents were murdered. Zylics was not a small man. He had an average physique, and he was tall, around 6'3''. He had brown eyes, and shoulder length black hair. He walked out of his small house, outside into the small community that he lived in. He was interested in blades, and took fencing classes at a young age, later purchasing an old blade, not thinking that he would ever use it, and hung it on his wall. He still takes it out to play with, though. He walked down the dusty road, looking at the small buildings around him. He strode to his favorite restaraunt and purchased some ramen noodles. He stared at his bowl, still thinking about the nightmare he just had. It was early in the morning, 5:24 to be exact. A man with a large hat and a dirty, old coat. He sat down in the corner and ordered some food. As Zylics finished, and paid for his meal, the man stood up. While he walked out, the man bowed. Zylics stood still, bewildered. He stumbled out the door, looking back at the man. He turned around, and the man vanished, the bartender thinking that he was just seeing things closed his eyes. Zylics looked at the city as he walked home. He was in the slightly unpopulated outskirts, but he loved traveling into the city. Zylics had no friends, but he liked living alone, without disturbances. He did have a cat, however. A beautiful black cat that loved to eat. "That cat is going to be the death of me," he thought, opening some more food for the constantly hungry cat. Yet, no matter how much it ate, it never seemed to grow. "I honestly don't know why I bother with you," Zylics said, in a deep, depressing voice. His wardrobe was all the same. He always wore a black T - Shirt that he tucked in to baggy, black jeans with a thick leather belt. On top of that, he always wore the same black, beaten up trench coat. Needless to say, his personality wasn't all that cheery, but he wasn't a heel or anything. He headed out the door, picking up the keys to his car to head to work. It wasn't a bad car either, a black sports car that his parents owned, and he kept after they died. He worked for a large company, hacking into their security for them to see what needed to be enhanced. He wasn't the ideal hacker, but he knew his way well enough. The phone in his glove box rang, and he picked it up. "You're late," a man said. "We shouldn't tolerate this from you, so don't let it happen again." "Yes sir, Mr. Mendel," Zylics replied, hanging up the phone. He pushed down the accelerator, passing a few cars on the bridge. There was a thud on the top of his car. This alerted him, and he sped up, thinking to slow down, maybe throwing whatever it was off. There wasn't even a sound when he did this. He stopped completely and slowly opened his door. He jumped out, seeing nothing. When he looked at the top of his car, he saw a dent, perfectly rounded into a circle, and smooth on the inside, and it was cool. He had no clue what it could have been. He then remembered the man at the restaurant this morning. Slightly cautious, he got into his car again and drove off. He looked in his mirror and saw a man in a white suit sitting in the back seat. His foot slammed on the break, causing the car behind him to veer off to the right. His eyes widened as he asked who the man was. "My name is Raiden, do not worry. I am here to open your mind." "But how did you get in", Zylics asked loudly. "That is none of your concern. I am here to tell you about things unimaginable, and thought of as fantasies here in this world," Raiden said, confusing Zylics. "This world is a facade, to delude you from the events happening in the real world. You must help me, help me defeat the ones causing terror in the real world." Zylics was stunned at such a ludicrous statement, yet slightly amused. "And what would I be doing if I," Zylics laughed. "Helped you defeat the terror in the real world," he said with a smile on his face. "You don't believe me," Raiden chuckled. Raiden lifted his arm towards the windshield. Zylics stared at his hand, which seemed to be giving off heat. A white glow overtook his hand, and a pulse of energy shot through the windshield, leaving a perfect circle, and not damaging any other part of the windsheild. Zylics thought he was dreaming. This couldn't be real. Magic wasn't real, there was no other world. "What in hell was that," Zylics shouted in question. "That was just a mere example of the power circulating in the other world. I came to you to help me because I can see power in you as well, a power that I've never felt before. If you helped me, you could open your eyes to the truth and make the world peaceful once more," Raiden said, excited. Zylics was still uneasy about this. "This is a lie! Some trick to make it look like you used magic. I don't believe any of this," he shouted, disappointing Raiden. "That's too bad. I'll be back Zylics," he said smirking, and he vanished in a wisp of smoke. Zylics was bewildered, and took off towards work. He got to the end of the bridge, and proceeded to the building on the right. He walked in, only to be encountered by his employer, Mr. Mendel. "You're even later than expected, Zylics," he said, staring at him with drooping eyes. "I'm sorry, there was a madman who wouldn't go away," he replied. "Just don't let it happen again. Anyway, we've got a new security system for you to try your luck on," Mr. Mendel said, walking towards an isolated room. The surroundings were completely smooth and white, and in the center of the room was a table with a computer on it. To the left of the table was a window that could only be seen through on the other side. "Do your best Zylics," Mr. Mendel said, walking into the room on the other side of the window. After many hours of work, Zylics was allowed to leave, and jumped into his car. He nearly forgot about the incident earlier. He finally got home, took off his coat, and fell into bed, staring at the sky through his glass ceiling. [b]End Story[/b] I've also got a ton of ideas circulating in my head, and I could also have someone animate it, instead of making a book, I dunno. Anyway, what do you think? -Chibi

Akito from Nadesico is a cook :p I don't know how good he is, though, only seen the first two episodes.

Great work as usual Herman, but I think the sig in the first attatchment is the best ;)

[color=darkblue][size=1] The group was confused by this statement. Kain spoke first. "Mara. . .how could. . .how could that be? I doubt he would consume a stone." "Don't you understand? It's not a fifth stone, as I said, fifth element. He was born this way. It's his destiny," Mara replied, thinking it was obvious. The rest of the group was bewildered. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] Auron continued towards the castle. "No guards in sight," Auron noticed. "They're planning something." The group had just left the village, and were staring at the enormous castle those few miles away. "We'd better hurry," Mara said, picking up speed. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] Thanks, what I did was make a wallpaper with that waterish technique I figured out, and centered it. . .I'll show the wallpaper >uploads the wallpaper< [url=http://otacon.250free.com/wallter.jpg]Click here![/url] As the Adobe wizards can see, I used polar coordinates, and it had that line down the middle, but once I did chrome, it sort of created a wave, as if someone slid their finger through the water. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] Gah! My friend uploaded tons of video clips, and all kinds of other .zip files, and put them up for download, causing me to lose all of my bandwidth, and suspend my account until next month! Needless to say, I deleted all of his files. Anyway, I got a new account (I'm still pissed off for the 50 other people who's banners I don't have on my hard drive to upload to the new account), and I made a new banner...it's from a wallpaper I made and centered, and no more quote! I've got a new one :devil: Whatcha think? [/color][/size]

[quote][i]Posted by wrist cutter[/i][b] This isn't a contest, stop feeling so sorry for yourself.[/b][/quote] [color=darkblue][size=1] You're right, and I'm sorry for being an idiot, I was feeling wierd, but that was just supid of me to post all of that crap. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] I would suggest that you add some kind of plot to the story, to make it successful, because having no plot surely won't do that. It's your choice, though. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] Because the humans were too idiotic, as always, and didn't think of that. Plus, they could have come back, and the dragonballs wouldn't be restored by then. Also, that would give the show less of a plot. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue] It looks like it might be alright, but that remains to be seen. Every time we see the sign on a billboard, my mom's always thinking "Why are they advertising something like that?", and I just start laughing to myself. [/color]

[color=darkblue][size=1] I agree, or some liquid that was solidified by hydrogen (or nitrogen? whatever...), and has been that way for a long time, like a fossil. Nice, keep up the good work :) [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] I'll have more tommorrow... You don't really want to hear my full list. . .do you? 1) Better looks maybe 2) Wish I was Nicer 3) Wish I had a Better Personality 4) Wish I was Smarter 5) Wish I was Stronger 6) Wish I was Not a complete jerk 7) Wish I Had more emotion (not sure if that's good or bad) 8) Wish I was Less of a dork 9) Wish I Knew the right things to say at the right time 10) Wish I was a quick thinker 11) Wish I had a better understanding of the English language, sort of like Harlequin 12) Wish I wasn't a social outcast 13) Wish I was nicer to my brothers 14) Wish I wasn't such a pain to my family 15) Wish I hadn't sat by when my family has been in trouble 16) Wish I was more caring 17) Wish I wanted to help out whenever I can 18) Wish I was better at graphics design 19) Wish I was better at comforting others 20) Wish I wasn't always depressed 21) Wish I could express my feelings to others in person 22) Wish I wasn't shy 23) Wish I wasn't a coward 24) Wish I wasn't a wreck 25) Wish I had better hygene 26) Wish I wasn't so harmful to the people around me 27) Wish I never stole 28) Wish I never lied 29) Wish I wasn't obsessed with the computer 30) Wish I wasn't lonely 31) Wish I had a better computer 32) Wish I was actually good at something 33) Wish I had a life 34) Wish I could know why I am going through and making this list 35) Wish I knew more about politics 36) Wish I could know what my real level of schooling was 37) Wish I didn't fail at everything 38) Wish I was better at sports 39) Wish I had a confidence 40) Wish I had a self-esteem 41) Wish that I wasn't "alright" at most things, and actually "good" at one thing. 42) Wish I was a better RPer That's all I can think of for now. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] The only thing I regret is stealing those stupid Putt-putt tickets...that was very immature. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] You don't [i]really[/i] want to hear my full list. . .do you? 1) Better looks 2) Nicer 3) Better Personality 4) Smarter 5) Stronger 6) Not a complete jerk 7) Have more emotion (not sure if that's good or bad) 8) Less of a dork 9) Know the right things to say at the right time 10) To be a quick thinker 11) A better understanding of the English language, sort of like Harlequin 12) You don't want to hear the full list, because I could probably list about 50 reasons. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue] It's alot better than your other ones. As he said, work on the background a little bit, but you erased the characters BGs good, so that means your taking your time, which is good. [/color]

[color=darkblue][size=1] OOC: Well, no one seems to want to initiate the final battle, so I guess it's my job to start the iniatiation of the finalization of the finalized final battle of the finalition of the RPG...Are most of those even words o.O? -------------------------------- Auron had come to the gates of the castle, there were nearly ten guards hindering him. He approached them slowly. "Halt!", one shouted, staring into his eyes. "Who are you, and what is your business here?", he said, signaling the other guardsmen to be ready. "Why, can't you tell? I'm here to kill you all", Auron said, with a smirk on his face. This left the guard bewildered as Auron shot an arrow through his head. He drew his long sword, and made quick work of the rest, continuing through the gate. ]Back at the inn[ "I sense something awful", Mara said, looking at the castle. "Something horrifying is happening. We need to be there to stop it". "Yes", Kain said. "Auron is there. . .he is planning a total destruction. . .don't you remember? During our battle, he mentioned it. He is truly insane". "Then we must go", Elsyan said, looking very serious. She mounted her horse, and the others followed suit. All ten of them. The final battlefield lay ahead. Auron had looked back at the village, with his keen sense of sight, seeing the others leaving. "Just as I had planned. . .I am the predator, they are the prey", Auron said, heading back into the castle. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] I don't hate American DBZ...I hate all DBZ. Anyway, I still post in this forum...because I'm an idiot. I still think Funi butchered what little there is to the series, and I thought that before I knew everyone hated it. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] I have some good friends, but only one that shares [i]some[/i] of the same interests as me. We are always making websites together, graphics together, we both like anime (but he watches DBZ as his favorite [ugh]), and everything, but we have many, many disagreements. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] Lol, if your parents think anime isn't well-drawn, they should: 1) Go see an eye doctor, because it doesn't get much better (if any) than Japanese animation, because it's: A) Very Realistic B) Smoother than any other animation. 2) Go see someone that will make them less prejudiced towards the Japanese culture. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue] Hmm...Well, I just made a coolish background for a wallpaper, so I might send one your way, Shy ;) [/color]

[color=darkblue] I like Linkin Park, but Crawling is one of my least favorite tracks. I don't like them to be cool, but I just like their sound, even if it is mostly just digital sounds. But that's your decision, and I don't mind at all. [/color]

[color=darkblue] Yes, and that was just plain spam to post it twice, I reccommend you refrain from that if you want your stay here to be long at all. [/color]

[color=darkblue][size=1] >Shouts down the hall< "We have another one!" I know I've said that it's whatever you prefer, but it disgusts me that people think DBZ rocks, because that's what went mainstream, and won't broaden their horizon. Go watch some quality anime, not a bunch of brutes punching each other over, and over again. [/color][/size]

[color=darkblue][size=1] Oh, dear god (no offense to people who don't believe in God), but that's a stinkin' fan site. My site is better than that. I could post a picture of an alien I made on it, and say "Look! It's a freakin' alien!", or something, and there are still those idiots that believe it. Same here, it's a fan site, they can write down whatever they want, if it's true, or not. And yes, what TN says is true, if it had "astoundingly high" ratings, they wouldn't have taken it off, because all they want is money, and that's what things like DBZ brings them, because people watch it, no matter how little plot it has, it gives them money, and that's all there is to it. [/color][/size]