Devidramon

Myotismon: "Darkness, the perfect cloak for my evil. Ideal conditions for producing fear. Human blood tastes better with a dash of fear in it." Mercuremon: "If only thy tongue were thy weapon. Then, surely, thou couldst never be defeated!" Etemon: "And don't forget to tip your waitress!" MetalEtemon: "I used to be Etemon, kid, but that was a long time ago. Now... I'm [I]Metal[/I]Etemon!" Zhuqiaomon: "Capitulate, fools!" WarGrowlmon: "Ha! We don't know the meaning of the word!" Woodmon: "I am Woodmon! I cannot be defeated!" Flamedramon: "Fire rocket!" Woodmon: "Aah! I'm being defeated!" (One of the many great things about Digimon: no show is more quotable.) Inuyasha: "Shut up and let me protect you!" Inuyasha: "Don't you dare faint on me, you stupid girl!" Kagome: "Myoga! If you're here, that must mean there's not any [I]real[/I] danger.

Evil all the way. Bad guys are usually more interesting, have cooler powers and/or weapons, and have to work harder. You always know what a hero will do next, and you never know what a villain will do next. Also, good guys are frickin' annoying with their habit of waltzing into certain doom only to have the rules magically change in their favor. Just once, I'd like to see interfering with a [i]good[/i] guy's gadgets destroy his whole base, or yelling really loud and frowning up as if passing a stone inexplicably multiply the bad guy's power by a factor of a thousand.

Why, 'cause you want him for yourself? :p [Ducks sharp objects] I usually throw in one or two pairings, and I try to make them pairings that are logical but that you don't see every day (I've long gotten tired of the usual each-the-same-as-the-last-ten lead/lead romance fics. Booooring!)

And we know this is the real Peter, not a stray survivor of the clones or robots the Spidey-verse is fraught with? At any rate, it is a pretty good comic, the few issues I've read. I have one with Kaine. He and Spidey got into it when Kaine did something to his artificial leg. That's all I remember. Oh, and Felicity's tagging along with Mayday. Did she ever take her on as a sidekick, or is she still trying, or did she wind up dead like waaaay too many good Marvel side-characters? I've not kept up with it. And is it Kaine or Caine?

Excuse me... [steps offscreen] AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!! Okay, I'm good. Unlike every self-insert fic out there. Maybe it can be done right, but I have yet to see it. No, how it usually goes is this: Character with either the name of the writer or some really grandiose name appears. Turns out she's the daughter of [really important person's name here.] If it's Digimon, my fandom of choice, she's a new Digidestined with a Digimon who's stronger than all the others put together. She's somehow related to one of the Sovereigns, or of the Three Great Angels, or of Gennai, or someone. If it's Animorphs, Tobias gets a twin sister. Or the girl comes from nowhere and Tobias gets a new girlfriend. Naturally, she's a better leader than Jake, a better morpher than Cassie, and knows everything there is to know about the Yeerks, the Ellimist, and what was really going on in "The Familiar." Anyway, this ultra-brilliant, ultra-beautiful vision of splendiferosity proceeds to waltz in from some extrenely-unlikely-given-series-fact origin that makes her the most important being in the universe since whoever invented pizza. Naturally, everyone just :love:LOVES!!!:love: her from day one, with the possible exception of one of the other girls. There's tension for a while, but that girl eventually comes to learn the wonder of wonders that is Miss 3000% Perfect here. Whoever the most-loved male character falls madly and instantly in love with her, and she with him. The boy's series love interest or most common pairing choice for him, often the one who has the tension with Miss 3000% Perfect, eventually accepts that Miss 3000% Perfect is right for the guy and it's time to stop trying to keep him all to herself. She promptly falls into the arms of one of the other guys on the team. That, or she doesn't accept it but conveniently falls off of a cliff before she can cause too much trouble. Naturally, Miss 3000% Perfect is there to comfort poor whatshisname, and their perfect love blossoms. Miss 3000% Perfect, natch, is the strongest on the team, better in every area than whatever character usually owns it. Stronger than Juggernaut, faster than Quicksilver, smarter than Beast and Forge combined, more gorgeous than M. Always says the right things whenever anyone's having trouble, is always just sassy enough to be cute but never enough to be mean. You name it, she exceeds the heights of perfection in it. She can do no wrong. If she's one of the rare Mary-Sues with a weakness, she falls sobbing into the arms of her whatever-the-love-interest's-name-is and he makes it All Better and she's back to being Miss 3000% Perfect by the next scene. Maybe there's one or two out there that are not barf-inducing, but enough are that if the plot's a new mystery girl, I don't read it. The human lifespan's only so long, and I'd rather miss out on the three good ones in existence than waste all that time on the bad ones that make up the overwhelming majority of them. *Maybe* someone dropped a quarter in the sewage. Are you reaching in there to find out? Not me.

There has been more than one Hobgoblin. I hope we see Venom someday. I think we did see Eddie Brock in the first movie, and if we see him again, he'll probably have the same actor. If not, whoever it is will have to be a lot bigger than Vin Diesel. Venom's a walking tank. I also hope they do that dual voice thing they did in the 90s animated series, and have him talk like Venom does ('we' instead of 'I' and all.) And I also hope his lines are as well-written. I'm not a big Dr. Octopus fan (though the movie version does look perfect) but if they do Venom someday and make him cheesy, there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. [Squeezes hands together while imagining himself squishing some poor writer's head like an overripe melon. [i]Squa-pulch![/i]] Mua-ha-ha!

Hey, another Texan? Cool! What's Schnoogle?

I've got an account there and at [url]www.mediaminer.org[/url] as, of course, Devidramon.

I liked it, though I'd probably have liked it better if I hadn't rented The Iron Giant about two weeks before seeing it (so we have another kid-befriends-friendly-but-potentially-destructive-robot-and-some-dude-wants-it-destroyed movie. It was like watching the same thing again only bloodier. (So this guy's going to shoot everyone between him and Tima for the heck of it? And if Tima's this guy's father's or grandfather's or whoever's (It's been a while since I've seen it so names and relations have slipped my mind. The only name I remember is Tima.) dream, destroying Tima will help... how? Another can always be built. Except for some of his actions, which often seemed to be more for shock value than for furthering of the story, it was enjoyable. The only other real problem was the use of several different animation styles in different characters. Kikaider does this too, to some degree (most people in slight exaggeration of normal anime style but some in 50's-cartoon style) but it was hard to take Metropolis seriously at times because of the 1950's Felix the Cat style people floating around with their Tom-and-Jerry exaggeratedness that, in addition to looking out of place among the more modern-style characters, really didn't fit the movie's serious tone at all. Maybe it's just because it was unexpected and if I'd known going in (the box depicted the boy, the NRA wannabe shoot-em-upper guy, and Tima, who were all in the modern style) I'd have gotten used to it. If it ever comes on TV I'll watch it again and see if, now that I know about the animation thing and The Iron Giant and the various sci-fi shows who've had similar plots at some point are out of my head, those things don't get in the way as much.

The chicken thing was pretty bad (unless they had someway of catching it later. They can't really do that to an animal legally, can they?) but it's hard to feel sorry for the old people or the handicapped people because it's not like anyone forced them to do it. The agreed to do it and were probably paid more than any of us make in two months. However it looks to us, the fact that they're there means it's not as horrid to them.

SG-1 was an obsession of mine for the first three seasons. Lately, though, it's gotten dull, most episodes spent debating and discussing, like a sci-fi version of C-Span. I watch if an episode looks like it's going to be good, and if it has the Goa'uld in it, just because I want to know how it ends.

I like some crossovers. The only thing I see consistently done wrong with them is the sheer amount of series incorporated in them. It's one thing if it's two or three shows. But if you have to have watched every single sci-fi show ever, or every single anime ever, to be able to understand it, you'll lose all but the most obssessed fans of whatever genre. Of course, seeing how I'm not a true anime fan. I like some shows that happen to be anime or adapted from Japanese shows, but it takes more than Japan as a point of origin to make me watch something and I watch anime with the same eye as anything from the US or England or Australia. I figured that was normal but the 'crossover-of-every-anime-ever-to-exist-plus-a-video-game-or-two-hundred' fics over at [url=www.mediaminer.org]Mediaminer.org[/url] do very well.

Joe and Mimi barely heard the two villains discussing their fate, more concerned with their partners. Lillymon could fly, so she would probably be safe if she could break free of the wall of water. Zudomon was another story. From where Joe and Mimi stood, there was no way to tell what had happened. ?Don?t worry, darlin?s, you?ll be joinin? ?em soon,? Ranamon assured them. ***** ?What is the meaning of this?? the Ancient One demanded. ?I don?t know,? Myotismon said. ?The Tinmon suspect the Digidestined tried to enter the Digital World and the gate malfunctioned. Two of them are currently being dealt with by Hookmon and his crew. We?re working to locate the others.? ?Locate them quickly. The last thing we need is their interference.? ?You have no need to fear them,? Myotismon said. ?Their doom is at hand. When you arrive, I shall present you with their heads.? ?I do not fear them,? the Ancient One said. ?I fear nothing.? Myotismon couldn?t see the creature well enough to tell if its teeth were clenched, but the voice definitely sounded like it. [i]You?ll learn to fear before the day is over,[/i] he thought. ?Will that be all?? he said, careful to keep his tone neutral. ?No. Find SaberNekomon first, before she gets too far out of pocket. Send her after the Digidestined you find nearest her.? ?Yes, O Ancient One,? Myotismon said evenly. He placed his hand on the artifact and terminated the connection once more. The Ancient One apparently suspected nothing. [i]How did you and yours rule the Digital World for more than a century if you were this blind?[/i] While it was to his advantage, he was still disappointed. He?d expected more. The Ancient One was falling far short of the legends of the evil warlords who had held the Digital World in their iron fists for so long. Myotismon had heard the tales since he?d been a Yaamon, and in the early days of his rule, ages ago when he had taken over his own hometown and was starting to assimilate the towns around it, he had aspired to be as powerful as they were. Of course, long since then, he?d decided to make his own legacy. Instead of being as they once were, he would leave future evil leaders hoping to someday be as the great and terrible Myotismon, the most powerful and most feared ruler in history, once was. He would conquer both worlds and leave future generations hoping to someday be worthy of him. Still, when his disincorporated data particles had floated, part in the real world and part in the Digital World, and one of the Ancients had reached out to him across the rift to offer him life in exchange for service, he hadn?t expected the Ancient One be as foolish as most of his defeated foes. [i]Or is he?[/i] Myotismon had underestimated foes before. Now that he really thought of it, there were three possibilities that he could see. One, the Ancient One was prepared for some sort of treachery, and was formulating some scheme of his own. Two, he really was as naïve as he appeared, in which case, to have ruled as long as he did, he would have to have been immensely powerful. Three, he suspected Myotismon of treachery, but, as Myotismon was the only one who could bring him back, he was stuck. Myotismon figured it was time to pick up the pace. He had never relished the idea of the Ancient One being able to kill him with a thought, and if the Ancient One suspected treachery, there was nothing to stop him from releasing the power that held Myotismon?s individual bits together. He had to stabilize himself quickly, and for that, he needed SaberNekomon. And for that, he needed someone for SaberNekomon to chase to the castle. He decided to look in on the Digidestined and see who would make the best candidate. ***** The ToyAgumon stepped away from Joe and Mimi as Hookmon raised his gun arm and took off his hat, revealing large bloodshot eyes and a few white strands of hair still clinging to his misshapen head. ?Here we have the greatest treasure of ?em all. We managed to do what no one?s ever done before. The Dark Masters themselves couldn?t handle these digi-tadpoles, and we?ve got ?em dead to rights.? Ranamon stuck her tongue out at Joe and Mimi and began to walk away. ?Wake me if anything interesting happens,? she yawned. ?We?ll show you interesting,? Lillymon?s voice came from the side of the boat. ?Flower Cannon!? Joe and Mimi brightened. ??We??? Joe whispered to Mimi. ?She did say ?we,? right?? Mimi nodded vigorously. ?Yeah! But I think we?d better get ready to run.? ?Hey, don?t you... whoa... whaah!? Ranamon was shouting as she scrambled and shuffled to avoid the blasts punching the floor around her. ?Come on, dance, ?sugah!?? Lillymon teased. When Hookmon and the ToyAgumon looked up at Lillymon, Joe and Mimi immediately ran for it. ?Stop them! Or the lot of ye will walk the plank!? Hookmon shouted after them. ?You know we don?t have a plank, sugah,? Ranamon told him. ?Never mind that,? Hookmon grumbled. ?When I say, aim for...? The floor under them cracked, dropping them below decks for a hard landing. ?Don?t even twitch,? Zudomon?s voice said. He was crouched as small as he could make himself but still scraping the ceiling. He was holding his hammer about two inches above their heads. ?Mama said there?d be days like this,? Ranamon sighed. ***** ?Where should we go?? Mimi asked. ?How should I know?!? Joe demanded. ?Plastic Blaze!? came the high-pitched voice of one of the ToyAgumon. A flat, plastic fireball exploded within a foot of Mimi with a dull [i]thack[/i] sound. ?With those stubby Lego legs, how do they move so fast?? Mimi wondered. ?How fast would you run if you had to answer to a guy with a cannon for an arm?? Three more gray plastic fireballs spun past them and exploded around them. ?Avast, ye scurvy sea-slugs!? one of the ToyAgumon screamed in a hideous imitation of Hookmon. ?Arr, you?ll sleep with the fishes!? ?What B-movie are these guys rejects from?? Mimi wondered. She caught Joe?s arm and pulled him between two stacks of crates. ?Plastic Blaze!? Gray Lego fireballs passed within inches of Joe and Mimi as they hung a quick left. Joe tried to kick the stack of crates over and into the ToyAgumons? path, but the crates were full, and didn?t move an inch. [i]Yeah, that?s about right,[/i] Joe groused internally. ?Joe, I think I?ve got an idea.? ?Say it already!? A plastic fireball flew past him and [i]thack[/i]ed a few feet away from him, scorching his leg. ?Yeow!? ?It?s, uh, I saw something like it in a movie once...? Mimi said sheepishly. Joe opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again, a couple of times. ?Oh, boy,? he finally said. ?Just come on!? Mimi caught his hand and pulled him onward. ***** Cerberumon set about the next phase of his work. He was sure that, if Myotismon had been in his position now, he?d be laughing evilly about how his latest grand scheme had prevailed. But gloating wasn?t Cerberumon?s style. He had successfully devised a way to do what he needed to do under Myotismon?s nose and yet avoid detection, so now to do it once more. There would be all the time in the Digital World for celebration once his mission was complete. He made sure no one was around, and ducked into an empty room. ?Portals of Darkness!? he called. The eyes of his side heads glowed, and fired beams of green light in front of him. A hole into a realm of pure blackness appeared. He hopped inside, and the hole closed above him. Here, in his personal dimension, his actions would go undetected by anyone in the castle. He found the communicator he?d left behind the last time he?d used the portals, and switched it on. ?They?re here,? he said. ?Two sets of them are approaching your position, ETA four minutes. I?ll inform you if anything changes.? ?Good,? answered the voice on the other end. ?No one suspects?? ?You know my skills better than anyone,? Cerberumon said. The voice chuckled. ?That, I do. I don?t doubt you, old friend. But you understand how important this is. If you?re lost, all is lost.? ?I understand,? Cerberumon said. ?But there?s no need for concern. Everything here is under control for now.? The voice on the other end was silent, so Cerberumon continued. ?SaberNekomon, however, isn?t. She?s loose, and she?s not far from you. Keep an eye out; she tends to make things not go as planned.? ?All right,? the voice said. ?Thanks for the heads-up.? ?Of course. Cerberumon out.? Cerberumon switched off the communicator and leapt. A portal opened in front of him and he sailed through it, returning to reality. He trotted back into the hallway, where Mikemon was passing through. Cerberumon blew a line of green fire from each of his side heads, so that they both passed within an inch of Mikemon on either side. ?Oh, hey, Cerberumon,? Mikemon said nonchalantly without even turning around. ?What?s up?? ?Just thought you?d like to your old friend wound up in Sector J-93. Myotismon?s in a relatively good mood about now, so it?d be a good time to ask him.? ?Yes!? Mikemon said, turning around and running past Cerberumon. It was about time. By ascending to Gatomon?s old position, he?d proven to himself that he was at least as good as she was. Now Mikemon?s chance to prove it to her had finally come. ***** ?You, command the Cannondramon? Surely you jest.? Myotismon knew that Mikemon would want to face Gatomon in combat now that he, too, possessed a Golden Ring. He had no problem with sending him, as getting rid of either of them would mean one less annoyance for him. He had no intention of making it easy on him, though. ?Come on, when has Mikemon ever failed you before?? Mikemon pleaded. ?Let him do this and he swears he?ll never call you Myo again! Promise!? ?You are not worthy to polish the Cannondramons? armor. Why should I put a worthless little runt like you in charge of a mission such as this?? ?Please! Mikemon will do anything! He?ll do your laundry for a month, rotate the wheels on all your carriages, swab Hookmon?s decks for a year, anything!? Myotismon made a show of sighing gravely. ?Fine. Just to get you out of my hair for a few hours, I will send you.? ?Thank you, gracious and mighty Master Myo! Mikemon will not disappoint you, he promises! The Digidestined will pay dearly, Mikemon swears! He?ll...? ?But remember, Mikemon, since I?m placing you in charge of this mission, if it fails, that will mean [i]you[/i] have failed.? He knelt down to Mikemon?s eye level and whispered, ?I shall be rather cross if you fail me, Mikemon.? Mikemon?s eyes widened as a shudder ran through his body. He stiffened as if he?d been turned into cardboard. ?Y-y-yes sir! Mikemon shall never fail you, master!? ?Good.? Myotismon stood up straight. ?Now that we have an understanding...? Myotismon raised his hand, and bats circled around it. He flipped his wrist, and they formed a window to a valley with several Cannondramon milling about. Unlike the communication windows, the other side of the portal could be seen clearly, to the last blade of grass. Somehow, the steel-visaged cyborg dinosaurs managed to look bored out of their central processing units. ?Begone!? Myotismon took Mikemon by the scruff of the neck and tossed the annoying feline into the portal. [i]?Thanks, Master Myooooooo!?[/i] Mikemon yelled as he fell through the dark tunnel. ?Don?t. Call. Me. Myo,? Myotismon growled through clenched teeth. ***** ?I don?t hear them,? Mimi whispered. ?You think they?re close?? ?Ssh!? Joe whispered. ?They?ll find us!? Crouched uncomfortably in a lifeboat covered with a cloth, Joe and Mimi were safe from the ToyAgumon for the moment. The Digimon probably had their hands full with Hookmon and Ranamon, but Joe and Mimi weren?t in a position to do anything about it. Joe was trying to think of a plan, but Mimi was annoyingly tapping on the side of the boat. ?And would you cut that out?? Joe whispered. ?I?m looking for some hidden... I don?t know, something,? Mimi said. ?Something?s got to make this thing work.? Mimi resumed tapping. ?Work? What makes you think it actually does anything?? ?It must fly, or it wouldn?t be much use here,? Mimi said. ?It?s probably just for show. Now, quit tapping or they?ll hear it. ? ?Please. These guys wouldn?t know style if it clobbered them with an anchor. Trust me, nothing?s here just because it looks cool. There?s got to be a button or a switch or something.? Joe sighed. [i]Classic Mimi logic.[/i] He loved the girl, really he did, but it was times like these that he wondered just how far into the Twilight Zone her mind could go. ?[i]Really,[/i] Mimi, you can?t think that their sense of style has anything to do with...? Suddenly, light flooded into the boat as the cloth was yanked away. ?A-ha!? came a triumphant high-pitched ToyAgumon shout. Several small gray Lego heads peeked into the boat. ***** ?Whaaaaah!? Mikemon shouted as the bat-portal spat him out. He bounced off of the back of one of the Cannondramon and flopped onto the ground amidst them. ?What are you doing here?? one of the dinosaur Digimon said in a grating, gravelly voice. ?Uh... Mikemon?s sorta... supposed to... take over. Myotismon sent him.? The Cannondramon gnashed their metal teeth together as they surrounded him, and began to close in on him from all sides. ?Uh, d-d-don?t b-b-be... h-hasty... guys,? Mikemon stammered. ?Whatever it is, Mikemon didn?t do it, honest!? There was an unbearable moment of silence as the seventeen immense Megas looked down upon the two-foot-tall Champion. And then, one by one, the Cannondramon began to laugh. ?H-huh?? ?Just having fun with you,? one of them said as the others began to walk away. ?Not much else to do around here.? He patted Mikemon on the back with a huge paw that sent the less-than-huge Digimon sprawling. ?Well, that?s about to change,? Mikemon said, trying to hide the pain and sound tough for the bigger, stronger Digimon around him. ?The Digidestined are about a couple of miles south of here, and they?re headed this way.? All conversation stopped as the Cannondramon instantly looked up at him. ?Yeah, that?s right,? Mikemon said. ?Two sets of ?em landed close by. So naturally, the boss sent in the best he had to take over.? Mikemon ignored the snorts of laughter and went on. ?And Gatomon?s with them. Waste the others, but save her for yours truly.? The Cannondramon spread out and took up positions at the foot of the mountain. Mikemon rubbed his paws together. Oh, yeah, this was going to [i]rock![/i] ***** ?You?re offically more trouble than you?re worth,? the lead ToyAgumon said, pointing a three-fingered hand at the two humans. It was impossible for his high-pitched voice, higher than even Mimi?s, to sound threatening, but the danger was clear. Though unimpressive even for a Rookie attack, one Plastic Blaze could easily blow a human in half. The ToyAgumon opened their mouths as one, the gray plastic fireballs appearing in each of them. And impossibly, Joe, as he and Mimi sat up in surprise, accidentally found an unseen indentation in the wood with his elbow. In response, two joysticks popped out on either side of him, and a control panel rose in front of him. A holographic ?screen? appeared above it. A second later, all the controls began to move, tailoring themselves to Joe?s size and shape, so that the joysticks were at his hands, and the ?screen? was just below his eye level so he could watch it and what was in front of the boat at the same time. Belts extended from the bottom to strap Joe and Mimi into place. Still in adrenaline-filled ?something, anything, [i]now![/i]? mode, Joe?s hand was already pushing the lever next to the right joystick long before his conscious mind was working. The boat went rocketing out from under the ToyAgumon and careened down the [i]Tylomon?s[/i] decks. Joe and Mimi screamed as one. The boat skated and skittered its way towards the bow of the [i]Tylomon[/i] as Joe pulled back on the lever, which he assumed to be the throttle. He was correct, of course, but the boat had gained enough momentum that it wasn?t stopping any time soon. ?Look out!? Mimi shouted. Joe pulled back on one of the sticks, and the ever-increasingly misnamed lifeboat pulled up, but not quickly enough to avoid taking a small chunk of the side of the ship with it as well. The boat continued to pull up, and by by the time Joe realized easing off of the stick would be a good idea, the dinghy was three-fourths of the way into a loop-the-loop that would plunge it straight through the [i]Tylomon[/i] if he didn?t pull out of it. ?Pull out!? Mimi yelled. ?Pull out!? Her voice rose to glass-shattering shrillness. ?Would you quit screaming!? Joe shouted back. He tried to make the stupid contraption turn right-side-up, but succeeded only in throwing it into a barrel roll. Reality turned into a screen-saver as the blood rushed to their heads. Joe fought down the panic and pulled the joystick to the side just enough to stop the spinning, and pulled the boat?s prow up. The dinghy tore through some rigging as it narrowly missed the [i]Tylomon?s[/i] mainmast. Several ToyAgumon shouted up at them in indignation. After several seconds that felt like minutes, Mimi spoke. ?You think you?ve got control?? ?Uh, more or less.? ?In that case,? she jerked a thumb at the ToyAgumon, ?I wonder what kind of weapons this boat has.? ***** ?What?s going on?? Hookmon wondered as the din rose outside. A beeping sounded, and Hookmon?s hand instinctively went to his jacket. ?Uh-uh,? Zudomon said, causing yellow electricity to spark across his hammer. ?Relax, lad, it?s just a communicator. I don?t need to reach in me pocket for me gun, remember?? He opened his jacket to reveal the wheel communicator, and took it out slowly, and raised it to his lips. ?What in the Dark Area is going on out there!? he bellowed. ?It?s those kids! They?re in one of the lifeboats and they?re flying ?round the place like maniacs! They almost took out the mainmast!? ?How?d they even start it up?? ?I don?t know, sir.? ?Arr, now why?s that not surprise me?? Hookmon growled. ?Of all the stupid...? He turned back to Zudomon, but the giant Digimon was gone. ?Huh?? ***** Guns rat-tat-tatted as bullets left the madly fluttering dinghy. A dotted line of holes was drawn across the [i]Tylomon[/i]?s deck. Several yards away stood the ToyAgumon that were the targets. ?Ha ha!? Ranamon chortled. ?Their aim?s even worse than you turkeys. We ain?t in as much trouble as I thought!? The dinghy zipped past, and Lillymon and Zudomon chased after their partners. ?Ain?t none of you done with me yet,? Ranamon drawled, rising up on a miniature geyser of water. She raised her arms, and a tower of water assaulted the dinghy, but its speed was such that it passed straight through. Ranamon grumbled, and with a flick of her wrist, made the waters change targets, washing back towards Lillymon and Zudomon. ?So, whose turn is it to do the honors?? Lillymon asked. ?Allow me,? Zudomon said. ?Vulcan?s Hammer!? Zudomon swung his hammer into the rushing waters. Electricity traveled along them back to Ranamon. The reaction was instantaneous. ?Yeeaaaargh!? Ranamon screamed. The jolt tossed her from her tower of water and sent her flying through the air, to finally slam against the flag and drop into the crow?s nest. The water assualt crashed to the floor and dried up in a matter of seconds. ?Good one,? Lillymon complimented. ?But I don?t think that?s going to keep her down for too long.? ?Yeah, it?s way past time this cruise ended. Too bad the only way down from here is...? Zudomon gestured at the mad dinghy. If one listened carefully, Joe?s and Mimi?s faint voices could be heard yelling at each other. ?I?ll get ?em,? Lillymon said. ?Keep an eye on our friends here.? She flew after the kids? lifeboat. Zudomon turned to the nearby ToyAgumon and grinned toothily. ?That will be my pleasure.? The ToyAgumon shuddered and slowly began inching backwards. ***** Joe and Mimi were speeding for the stratosphere in the infuriating boat when it stopped suddenly, throwing them both forward. ?Huh?? Joe said, reaching for his glasses that had flown off when the boat stopped. ?Wha?? Mimi added a moment later. ?I?m not even gonna ask how [i]this[/i] happened,? Lillymon said with a smirk. Joe and Mimi turned to see her holding the boat from behind with her left hand. Her right was on her hip. ?You sure you know how to use this thing?? ?Yes!? Joe said. ?No,? Mimi said at the same instant. Lillymon shook her head like a disapproving mother of mischievous children. ?This one says autopilot,? she said, pointing to a button. ?The ones next to it have numbers on them, one, two, three, four.? She pointed to each in turn. ?I?ll bet they?re courses. Remind me to have Tentomon teach you digital world writing someday.? Joe and Mimi couldn?t respond to that. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, they were engaged in the all-consuming task of keeping breakfast inside. ?Hang in there, guys,? Lillymon said sympathetically. ?I?m going to go collect our favorite seal before Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Dumb and his goons get back into a fighting mood. Catch you later! And please, don?t push any buttons.? The beautiful fairy Digimon waved at them with her usual bright smile, then flipped over in midair and darted back towards the boat, her leaf-wings buzzing with a soothing hum. She hadn?t gotten far when she heard Mimi?s warning to Joe, who?d apparently accidentally touched one of the joysticks. The boat rocketed away again. ?Humans,? Lillymon sighed, rolling her eyes. ***** ?Just give it up already, sugah,? Ranamon was saying. ?Not even yo? thick hide can keep out mah rain fo? long.? Zudomon was realizing that Ranamon was right. The rain Ranamon had brought down was sapping his strength. His attacks were becoming weaker and more unfocused, and with each swing, his hammer felt ever closer to being as heavy as it looked. After Ranamon had recovered from Zudomon?s attack and gotten up enough nerve to come down from the crow?s nest, Ranamon had employed her Drainin? Rain attack, whose name was very fitting. ?Arr, now that?s the stuff,? Hookmon was saying from next to her. ?Finish ?im!? ?Flower Cannon!? The blast collided with Ranamon, who went flying into Hookmon. The two looked up to see Lillymon hovering above them with the cannon pointed at them both. ?You know, you two are really starting to annoy me. Now, I don?t know who put the barnacles up your shorts, but I?m [i]this[/i] close to turning you into digi-fertilizer. Zudomon, come on!? Zudomon tried to shake off the evil water and its effects, and wound up making his fur so bushy he looked like a gray Koosh ball carrying a hammer. ?Thanks, Lillymon. But I had ?em right where I wanted ?em.? Lillymon didn?t dignify that with a response, and grabbed him by the arm to carry towards the errant boat. Lillymon may have been small, but she was still an Ultimate with all the rights and privileges thereof, and had no problem lifting Zudomon off of the [i]Tylomon.[/i] Ranamon watched with her hands on her hips as the two flew away. ?Darn. I was sure I had ?im.? ?This isn?t over yet,? Hookmon said. He turned to the ToyAgumon. ?Get ready.? ?Yes sir!? a hundred high-pitched voices answered. ***** Several minutes later, Lillymon had managed to get catch up with Joe and Mimi, get the boat back under control (which mostly involved taking the controls herself after leaving Joe and Mimi Flower Wreathed together in the back to be sure they couldn?t accidentally push any buttons) and descending. A newly devolved Gomamon lounged on Joe and Mimi?s heads. Joe and Mimi?s eyes were closed as they tried not to think about how high up they were, or anything else related to flying, boats, or flying boats. As usual, the serenity was short-lived. ?Don?t look now, guys," Gomamon advised, "but the [i]Tylomon[/i]?s on the move, and something?s happening to it.? Everyone turned to look in the direction Gomamon was looking in. ?How fast can this thing go?? Joe said. ?Hang on, we?re about to find out.? ***** ?Report!? Hookmon ordered. ?All danger zones clear, sugah,? Ranamon said. ?Everybody?s at battle stations and rarin? to kick some booty.? ?Arr, that?s what I like hear,? Hookmon said. ?Let?s not keep ?em waiting!? He took out his wheel communicator and pressed it into the center of the actual wheel. It locked in place with a snapping sound. ?Come alive, [i]Tylomon!?[/i] The great ship responded instantly, trembling as long-unused machinery whirred and clattered to life. Massive engines extended from the hull and powered up with an almost-subsonic hum. Particle cannons also slid out of hiding. Once the engines and armament were in place, armor plating began to extend from the hull. In seconds, the vessel was sheathed in solid iron. Inside, the same was happening. Sails retracted, masts telescoped down and retreated below decks, and a steel canopy covered the boat. Control panels extended from below decks to line the walls, and holographic screens appeared from projectors in the floor. By now, the bridge of the [i]Tylomon[/i] looked more like the inside of the starship [i]Enterprise.[/i] ?Ironclad Mode transformation complete,? an androgynous computerized voice said. ?Arr, now let?s show those landlubbers what we?re made of!? Hookmon shouted, waving his hook in the air. The [i]Tylomon[/i] lumbered after its prey.

This isn't too good, but at least it's something. I [i]am[/i] going somewhere with this, really! ======= Caturamon watched from a rooftop as the humans ran around like mice. After debating with himself for a moment, he?d concluded that it would be easier to spread the illusion of the Phoenixmon invasion over all the humans obvering from the ground, thus causing them to actually run around and scream, rather than projecting Phoenixmon [i]and[/i] running, screaming humans into the minds of the Hypnos agents. [i]Decisions, decisions,[/i] Caturamon thought. Caturamon laughed. He had long wondered what his teammates had so loved about terrorizing humans. Now, knowing what it felt like to know that hundreds of the people who had caused his people to spend their lives running from data streams were running in terror and fearing for their very lives all because of him, him! that he wielded such power over those he?d once feared, he wished he could stick around a bit longer. [i]And that?s why Sandiramon, Indramon, and Majiramon are no longer with us,[/i] Caturamon?s more rational side reminded him. Caturamon caused one Phoenixmon to fly low over a street, and simulated flames consuming cars, people, anything in their path. The Hypnos cars whipped hither and thither as Yuggoth pistols were fired wildly into the air. ?That?s it, Caturamon,? Janyuu?s voice said in his mind. ?We?re almost to Hypnos. Time to come back.? ?On my way,? Caturamon answered. He had the Phoenixmon fly towards each other and merge, spreading, their yellow flames turning red, until they formed a gigantic red bird that seemed to go on forever, filling the sky for more than a mile from head to talon, and even more from wing to wing. The panic on the streets went to an all-new high, everone on the street certain that their deaths were at hand, that all would now be consumed by flame. Caturamon saluted the flaming bird with one paw. ?Soon, Lord Zhuqiaomon. Soon we will return to you,? Caturamon promised. He dispelled the illusion and teleported away, leaving hundreds of confused humans behind. ****** ?Wow,? Akazumi said, staring at the lights show?s end. ?Where?d they, it, whatever... go?? ?Nowhere I?m following,? Shimoyama said. Yamaki looked around suddenly. Aside from the damage caused by the terrified humans, the area around them was untouched. No fires, no cars stuck half-in and half-out of buildings. One by one, the people around them were beginning to return to their senses, find whoever they?d been with, and, if they hadn?t wrecked their cars in the melee, hasten out of the area. [i]It wasn?t real.[/i] The wheels in his mind started turning. He tapped his headset. ?Nanashi? Come in, Nanashi.? There was nothing but static. ?No,? Yamaki whispered. ?Sir?? Sato asked. ?We have to get back to Hypnos, now. Yesterday a Digimon projected an illusion to rescue one we?d captured. He or one like him must have done this to get us away.? ?Could you reach Hypnos?? Shimoyama asked. ?Nothing but static. Be ready for anything when we get back there.? ****** . The caravan was ten minutes away from Hypnos. It was the tensest moment of any of their lives, especially for the extradimensional Ryo and Alice and those around them, for whom the situation became more complicated by the second. The portal Alice came through didn?t work as a two-way door. The Overlord?s world was the center, and though a traveler could go from it to another world and back at will, going from a second world, in this case, Alice?s, to a different one was a one-way trip. Of course, Pururumon didn?t have to know that. There?d be hell to pay when Pururumon got his Zhuqiaomon powers back, though. ?Well, hewe comes the moment we?ve all been waiting fow,? Shaochung said, tossing an arm around Ryo 1. ?How?s it feel?? Ryo 1 blushed at being touched by Shaochung. Once he?d gotten used to the way she talked, it was easy to forget who she corresponded to a world away. ?Just hoping we can restore Zhuqiaomon, and put a stop to Millenniumon this time. Then, onto some other bad guy. A Legendary Tamer?s job is never done.? ?And you wouldn?t have it any othew way,? Shaochung said knowingly. ?You?we not that diffewent fwom my Wyo.? ?Hey, take that back!? Ryo 2 laughed. Ryo 1 took a good-natured swing at his twin, who was sitting directly behind him. ?[i]Suzie?[/i]? Alice 1, the fourth passenger said. ?I thought you were familiar... but you can?t be... where?s Lopmon?? ?Who?? Shaochung said, puzzled. ?Lopmon?s Antiramon?s Rookie form, at least where we?re from,? Ryo 1 explained. ?When she joined the Tamers, Zhuqiaomon turned her into pretty much Terriermon?s twin.? ??She??? ?Yours is a ?he??? Alice said. ?Yeah,? Shaochung said. ?He?s somewhewe awound. He and Pajiwamon wun anothew undewgwound like this one. He?ll be along with the west of them.? ?It must be hard, not getting to be around your partner much,? Ryo 2 said. ?I don?t know what I?d do if I could only see Monondramon a few times a week or something.? ?He wouldn?t last that long, without me to keep him out of trouble,? Monodramon piped up. ?Quiet, you,? Ryo 2 said. Monodramon stuck out his tongue. [i]Ain?t it the truth,[/i] Shaochung thought. ?It?s not that bad, though I do envy you guys who get to have such a close welationship. But I?m just glad I got to know Antiwamon at all.? ?Hopmon, you?re quiet,? Ryo 1 said. ?That?s not like you.? ?I know. I?m just thinking about... him.? ?Cyberdramon,? Ryo 1 said gravely. ?If you don?t want to do this, I promise I?ll keep you out of the line of fire.? ?I have to,? Hopmon said. ?It wouldn?t be right to sit somewhere safe while they?re in a war zone. If I fight the D-hulks, I... I think it?ll be mostly out of my system and I don?t think I?ll hurt anyone.? ?We?ll find a way to help you,? Ryo 1 said. Hopmon didn?t say anything. [i]Hijack Hypnos, cross dimensions, fix Zhuqiaomon, stop Millenniumon, take care of whatever Alice is talking about...[/i] he hadn?t missed the fact that her prophecy or whatever it was said foes, plural... [i]and fix the Cyberdramon thing... this list keeps getting longer and I?m at the bottom.[/i] He knew he was just feeling sorry for himself. [i]Yeah, well, I get to![/i] ?Listen up!? came Janyuu?s voice over the radio unit installed in each of the cars. ?The Hybrids, Ultimates, and Megas go first. Once Arukenimon has taken care of the control spires, everyone with a Tamer will digivolve and join the battle. Work out the strongest card combinations on the way, because those D-Hulks are Mega-strength. Then Arukenimon?s Control Spire Digimon will make up the third wave. We need an interior team at each entrance to keep Hypnos? attention divided. Dolphin and Kenta must be protected at all costs, we need them for the Digital Zone to work.? ?Kenta?? Alice said. While she knew he was smarter than many gave him credit for being, if Kenta?s scientific knowledge was vital to this mission, she figured this world was in serious trouble. ?Yeah,? Ryo 1 answered. ?He?s some kind of super genius here, right up there with the original creators of Digimon.? ?This guy?s beyond genius,? Ryo 2 said. ?Anyway, we?re almost there. Hey, Alice, do you have a Digimon form like our Alice?? ?I do, but I don?t like to use it.? Alice summed up the story of Dobermon, the Reaver, and the Overlord. ?Since I?ve fed recently, I should be okay.? ?I hope so,? Shaochung said. ?We need all the help that we can get, but if doing this is going to tuwn you into some kind of monstew, I don?t think we should ask you to.? ?I can handle it.? ?Handle in a hurry,? Ryo 2 said. ?We?re almost there.? ****** ?Unauthorized vehicles approaching,? Trang said. Nanashi was working feverishly at his workstation, looking almost frantic. He paid Trang no mind. ?Don?t you hear me? There are several large vans headed here. They?re not ours, and nothing in our schedule indicates this kind of visit.? ?I know that,? Nanashi said. ?But I discovered a bug in the system that...? ?There?s always a bug in the system, especially when you?re around. Let?s go.? ?I don?t think so,? Nanashi said. He wondered what it was that turned himself and Trang into five-year-olds whenever in each other?s presence. There?d been plenty of people he didn?t get along with, but this was ridiculous. [i]What?s next, am I going to stick my fingers in my ears and yell ?La, la, I can?t hear you!? Yeah, ol? Yamaki would love to see that. And why does stuff like this always come to me at times like this?[/i] Nanashi cleared the nonsense from his head and said, ?I still have a few more things to do.? ?As of now, you don?t,? a voice said from below. The two agents looked down to see Yamaki. ?The Digimon sent us on a wild goose chase. Trang nodded absently... and then a light came into her eyes. She swiveled her workstation until it was next to Nanashi?s. ?Surprise, surprise.? ?What? Look, I?m busy, so if you...? ?There?s always some kind of bug you have to fix, one more thing that needs to be tweaked, one last thing that you?ve got to do. What are you [i]really[/i] doing?? ?Wouldn?t that be so convenient,? Nanashi growled. ?Nanashi gets dismissed for conducting illegal activity, and Trang gets to ascend to his position. You could at least try for something a little more imaginative.? Trang began to walk away, looking defeated. And then she slammed her elbow into Nanashi?s chin, dropping him, and looked at his screen. To the layman?s eye, it was meaningless numbers, but Trang, like all Hypnos operators, could read code as easily as she could read ?See Spot run.? [i]If he?s fixing bugs, I?m a Raremon?s grandmother.[/i] Soon, another Wild One alert sounded. Trang picked up the phone that was connected to the intercom. ?No one is to respond to that signal. Recall the teams chasing Wild Ones, and everyone who can, get a weapon and get to the front of the... aaah!? Nanashi shoved Trang away from his terminal, and quickly turned it off. While he did so, Trang had the opportunity to draw her sidearm and point it at his head. ?You didn?t want to tell Yamaki the D-Hulks were done, and the sudden influx of Wild Ones happened since you took over this station. You tampered with the systems, didn?t you?? ?I don?t know what you?re smoking, but put the gun down, all right?? ?What?s about to happen?? Trang demanded. ?What are you preparing for?? ?Let?s put the gun down, get away from the sensitive computer equipment, and talk like rational human beings, all right?? ?Don?t screw with me, Nanashi. You?re no Hypnos operator. So who are you?? Nanashi suddenly became calm. A chill ran down Trang?s spine at the instant transition. Trang suddenly had the feeling that whatever was about to happen, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. ?Just someone who wants to save his people.? Trang fired at what she now knew to be a Digimon. She fired again and again. Nanashi rolled his eyes and lifted her off the ground by the throat. Trang?s expression was one Nanashi was familiar with: she was terrified for her life but refusing to beg. ?Human and Digimon are not that different,? Nanashi said. ?Both are stubborn, and will not back down. We mean you no harm... well, after your treatment of us, a [i]lot[/i] of us mean you harm, but that?s not why we?re here today. We plan to get home. You have the means to get us there. We will use those means. End of story. How much harm befalls your people depends on how many of them you stupidly throw at us.? ?You...? ?Shut up.? Nanashi struck Trang?s head against the railing, hard enough to knock her out but not to do serious damage. He lay her down on the floor, and held his hand over her. His hand melted and reformed into a large, white talon with an eye in the center. ?Laser Translation,? he said. A beam of light from the eye scanned over Trang, and then the eye closed. Ribbonlike streams of data wrapped around him, and when they were gone, another Trang stood in Nanashi?s place. [i]Graceful as humans go,[/i] Nanashi thought, analyzing his new form. [i]Very energetic. It?s all I can do not to try a couple of cartwheels right here. Maybe that?s why she?s so argumentative, one way of getting rid of this excess energy while sitting at desks or terminals all day.[/i] Most Metamormon didn?t bother to appreciate and savor each new form as Nanashi did. He wished he had time to really experience being Trang, but that would have to wait. ?You?re okay, Trang,? Nanashi said. ?I still hate your guts, but you?re okay.? Now, down to business. Nanashi knew that Yamaki and company would be on their way back any time soon. Time to do as much damage as he could to prolong the confusion as much as possible. He transformed into a MetalKabuterimon he?d scanned once. The weight bore down the workstation, bending and eventually breaking the supports and dropping the tank Digimon onto the ground. ?Bolo Thunder!? The dose of electricity fried most of the equipment on contact, and Nanashi transformed back into his standard human form. He rumpled up his hair and clothes, trying to look as disheveled as possible. Guards came running in a moment later. ?Sir, what?s...? ?See to Trang,? Nanashi said, sounding concerned. Two men went to the inoperable controls to try to bring Trang?s workstation down. ?A computer malfunction,? Nanashi explained. ?Sending false signals. We don?t know which are real and which weren?t.? He knew that if he contradicted Trang directly, it would be immediately obvious that something was up with either Trang or himself. So, he pulled the old standby of computer error, and hopefully letting everyone think that at least some of the invading Digimon were the genuine article. [i]Sure, they?ll buy that,[/i] he told himself sarcastically. ****** ?Stand down,? said the lead Hypnos agent over a loudspeaker. ?This is your last warning.? It was time for the main event. One side, car after car of Hypnos agents, each with his or her Yuggoth pistol drawn as they took cover behind the doors. On the other, resistance humans and Digimon. Unfortunately, to fit all the Digimon, most of them had to be Downgraded to Rookie if not In-Training, making the timing even more crucial. There were only a few Digimon capable of meeting a D-Hulk onslaught, so Arukenimon had to get rid of the control spires in a hurry. However, the Hypnos agents didn?t have to know about that. Volcamon pulled out his microphone, and rap music from nowhere started up the moment he opened his mouth. ?You know you?re outgunned, you know you?re out numbered. Out of our way or we?ll tear you asunder!? ?That stinks, and it didn?t even rhyme, you second-rate wannabe!? the Etemon that had been in the car with him said. ?Oh, shut up, you Elvis-impersonating has-been,? Volcamon growled. To the Hypnos leader, he said ?We just need to...? he cleared his throat and tried to sound businesslike, ?borrow your equipment for a moment.? ?Surrender now and we promise the humans will be allowed to live,? the agent said. ?Stand down now, or...? ?Why are we even bothering with this?? Makuramon said. ?By Baihumon?s mane, let?s just get this over with! Primal Orb!? The lead car became encased in a translucent energy sphere, and flew apart into each of its components. ?Think fast!? he shouted, flinging the parts at the nearest car. The people crouched behind it ran from the car seconds before it was crushed. ?Magma Bass!? Volcamon shouted. The ground moved like water under the sonic assault, and anyone unfortunate enough to be standing in its path was sent flying. Cars and people became rag dolls. The Hypnos officers weren?t cowed, and began firing their Yuggoth pistols. Volcamon and Makuramon ducked. Other Digimon joined the action, and other officers began firing. The transition from standoff to total war zone was complete in a matter of moments. ?[i]Maka![/i]? Makuramon grunted in frustration. ?Where?s Arukenimon when you need her?!? ?She will be along,? Caturamon said calmly. ?For now, let?s concentrate on clearing the way.? Caturamon leapt on top of a car. ?Howl of the Heavens!? Hypnos agents leapt away from the line of fire as more cars went flying. They returned fire. Caturamon leapt from the car seconds before it became a fireball. ?If we don?t have help by the time the D-Hulks and the agents we tricked show up, we?re done for already!? ?We gotta go wit? what we got,? an Arbormon said. ?Don?t worry, little monkey, we?ll get through ?em. Fortune favors the bold, right?? Arbormon?s limbs extended on their strings, wrapping around one agent and pulling him close after shaking the Yuggoth pistol away from him. The wooden machine Digimon used the agent as a shield as his extendable limbs reached out to pound other agents. ?Now dis is more like it! C?mon, dance for us!? A blast from a Yuggoth pistol zipped past Arbormon and struck one of the cars. Electricity crackled around it. Makuramon bounced from car to car, drawing fire from a hundred agents. ?Whoa, that was close. Primal Orb!? His sphere encased three more cars, and he used them as a shield and battering ram, beginning to clear the path to Hypnos. ?Somehow I didn?t expect it to be this easy,? Ryo 1 said. ?Those agents are barely staying alive, much less stopping us.? ?Well, don?t let your guard down just yet,? Ryo 2 said. ?Hypnos isn?t known for coming unprepared.? ***** ?You can?t reach anyone, either?? ?No,? Yamaki said. By pure happenstance, a Hypnos helicopter, no doubt on the same wild goose chase as his team, had flown overhead and Yamaki had been able to wave them down. Now they had an express ride back to Hypnos, where he had no doubt the ungodly creatures were up to no good. ?Why are you out here?? The pilot, a man named Noguchi, answered. ?We were sent after the signal of a Wild One. They?d started coming through like it was going out of style, it?s strange. Sir, do you know anything?? Yamaki nodded. ?As I suspected.? ?Sir?? ?Listen carefully. A Digimon known to us as Caturamon has the power to create illusions. The influx of Wild Ones is false, part of an elaborate deception to get the most capable agents away from Hypnos. We can?t communicate with Hypnos, so we have no way to ascertain the situation. But we do know that something major is playing out as we speak. And we?re about to head into the thick of it.? ?Understood,? Noguchi said. And the helicopter was underway again, the Hypnos agents packed in tightly.

Wow, I didn't know you could write stuff like this. Makes me kinda wonder what Stephen and Tara would think if they could see me now. Tara: "Not bad, but I'm still smarter than you." Stephen: "And what's with all the Dallas Cowboys stuff in your room? The Cowboys stink!" [Does anime hand-behind-head thing] Uh, never mind. Anyway, it was beautiful. I hope you don't really feel like that, though... then again, everyone does sometimes.