Roxie Faye

[color=#9933ff][size=1]I think Nerdsey summed it well. I've sent in one secret - one that made my life miserable. Even just after I *wrote* the card, I felt so much better. I knew I hadn't solved anything and still had to try to solve it, but I just felt like someone had removed a great weight from my chest. Definitely cathartic. However, I still carry that secret with me. After I sent it in, I talked about the issue with someone, but couldn't tell or show them what I wrote on the card. Frank alone knows, I guess. For me, the anonymity is an appealing part of the process - to know that someone is also sharing this weight with you, but they'll never be able to give you a negative response because you'll never see them. I made another secret but put it in a postsecret book at the bookstore, instead. Some people do that, too. Frank updates the secrets every Sunday on the site, so I usually read them then. I also have the book "A life time of secrets." As for the secrets being fake, it is highly highly likely that people send in false secrets all the time. However, I don't think they're fake on Frank's end. He gets thousands of postcards a week -- he doesn't need to sit in his house and make up secrets on postcards, lol. Of course, my mom thinks I'm like... some lunatic for liking the concept (I didn't tell her I sent in a secret). I just don't think she's trusting enough.[/size][/color]

[color=#9933ff]*smiles* I really like the April Fool's day prank. It's great! I also love how I avoided the avatar part, just because I don't have one. XD I think the figures are really adorable - who are they, exactly?[/color]

[color=#9933ff]Aww, Sabrina, that sucks. I'd be sooo mad if it snowed tomorrow -- it's already starting to get warm, and I want to wear my spring clothes! >=| I don't expect it to happen in my dorm, though. Now, the exclusively all freshman dorm where the fire alarm gets pulls four times a night even when it's [i]not[/i] April Fool's day... that's another story. We'll see...[/color]

[quote name='indifference'][COLOR="Indigo"]You've missed my point it seems. You can't go and have a style of fashion as it were and expect people to not associate it with the fact that the name "Lolita" has entered pop culture to describe a sexually precocious young girl. For half a century that term has come to mean just that. So anyone who thinks they can just say[I] oh it's not about that at all...[/I] is forgetting that no matter what they say, others will see it in that light. Especially since there are just as many sites where one can buy clothing in that style that[I] is [/I]for pornographic usage. Something that naturally I will not link to here on account of the content. The point is that the meaning for Lolita came about [I]before[/I] the attempt to turn it into a more legitimate style of fashion. And that's an association that isn't going to just go away by hearing others claims or reading sites like wiki on it. Almost everyone I know hears the word Lolita and they don't think [I]oh its that newer fashion[/I], they think, oh... [I] porn[/I]. It's going to take more than a few decades for that association to change if it does at all. After all... choice of words and associations to said words is important, so you have to wonder what the person who started it was thinking when they chose to use the name Lolita. I see the association as a self inflicted problem really.[/COLOR][/QUOTE] [color=#9933ff]The Gothic Lolita community, especially in the west, doesn't "forget" that people view the term "Lolita" with a sexual connotation. By saying "Oh, look, that's not what we're intending with this fashion," we [b]are[/b] recognizing the first, Nabokovian definition and saying it doesn't apply here. We didn't forget, we're just saying in this particular Japanese fashion context, the Nabokovian Lolita intent is not present. And I think the entire darn community sees it as a self inflicted problem, lol. Of course, as a westerner partaking in the fashion, I just grumble at the Japanese for their silly labeling and call it "frilly-chan" if I can.[/color] [quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]In wardrobe stuff like this, you have to be able to think from both your angle and the mind of anyone who might see it, so you don't accidentally draw . . . unwanted attentions.[/FONT][/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]Agreed! It happens, and I know some girls who do get that negative attention. It happened to me once, with a girl who is a b**** anyway, who was drunk at the time and made all these nasty comments to me about being a slut. And before anyone tells me "It's my own fault for wearing it, suck it up and shut up," I'm well aware of my own choices and the consequences, thank you. I'm just adding my two cents, thanks. lol. It happens, I deal with it, I move on. ^_^;[/color] [quote name='Shy'][size=1]When I read the name 'Lolita' I think of the objectification of young women, and a loss of innocence... but when Japanese people see the name they probably think it sounds 'kawaii' and put it on their backpacks. That's the Japanese for you.[/size][/quote] [color=#9933ff]Shy, I love you for that.[/color] [quote name='Shy'][size=1]The Gothic Lolita thing seems to be a fashion movement that has (to say the least) some strong hints of fetish in it. I'm not saying that the clothes themselves are innapropriate, but all fashion needs to be viewed in a cultural context, as opposed to a vacuum. One of my best friends used to pin a 'cat tail' to her pants to be playful, but when she posted pics of herself with the tail online she suddenly received a lot of unwanted advances from 'furries.' Needless to say, she still loves cats, but was quick to take those photos down. -Shy[/size][/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]You know, I've never thought of it that way, and I've never really thought of Japanese culture as having persistent sexual undertones, but now that I think about it, that's definitely true. Quite agreed.[/color]

[color=#9933ff]Allamorph: Duly noted. I understand what you're saying. Of course, as you said, it doesn't change the definition of the Gothic Lolita fashion style, or the way in which we intend to portray ourselves. [quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]So what that all essentially boils down to, and believe me it takes SOME boiling... ...is that you're completely wrong about lolita being provocative but it'd be terribly sad and embarrassing for you to admit it. Got it. And by the way sarcasm apparently runs right over you like oil over a fat woman because the only one doing any assuming here is apparently you. By drowning us in text so we can overlook the part where you have to talk yourself into a position of not feeling like you're wrong.[/font][/color][/quote] [color=#9933ff]It's really starting to bother me that you're assuming things about how I'm posting and my "real" intention behind what I'm saying. I don't play games like that and I never have. What you see is what I mean. The point is, the definition of Gothic Lolita fashion as a conscious attempt at provocative (as in "sexy/erotic") fashion is incorrect. What I am trying to do is correct the erroneous assumption of such. Here, I don't care about who, personally, is right or wrong, or who "wins" or "loses" in this thread. I do care about helping people understand the fashion in the way it was meant to be viewed. I'm sorry my post was "tl;dr"-ish for your taste, but I usually write that way (see other posts on OB for evidence). Hell, I usually talk that way. I'm not trying to BS anything. @_@;;;[/color] [quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Because a live journal community is so much more reliable than wikipedia. And the ridiculously short skirts that you would've been caned for wearing in Victorian England are completely innocent. [/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [color=#9933ff]?? That's kind of the point, isn't it? When you're talking to people who adhere to the Gothic Lolita fashion, and who discuss it as a community, aren't you going to get more correct and more informative answers? I mean, it's not like Gothic Lolita is a scholarly topic that you can look in a published encyclopedia about, so of course internet resources are a "must" if you want to learn about it. Just because it's the internet doesn't make it invalid. lol. Fact: most lolita skirts are knee-length. Opinion: You think this is ridiculously short. I happen to think it's modest. Difference of opinion, s'all. Gothic Lolita is also, as I said, LOOSELY based on Victorian fashion. Very loosely. If we were following it to a T, we'd call it "Historical dress reconstruction" not "Gothic Lolita." It happens. *shrug* (I'm also out for the night so I'll have to respond later today or Monday. Peace.)[/color]

[color=#9933ff]I like both, but I'm more of a cracker fan. Growing up, I was never really one for sweets. Threatening me with no dessert was a moot point since I rarely asked for it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE ice cream and cookies, but I'm not like... a chocoholic or anything. I like Ritz crackers, personally, although saltines are okay, too. I'm not really looking for that "salty" taste, though, just the bland soothingness. I get stomachaches often, so I usually eat Ritz to sooth my stomach.[/color]

[quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]You're cute when you're mad Roxie.[/font][/color][/quote] [color=#9933ff]Please do not attempt to assume my emotions. I was annoyed, yes, but far, far from mad, and it is annoying and slightly upsetting that you first attribute false emotions to my post, and then mock me for it.[/color] [quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]But if you can't grasp tongue in cheek humor then I really wonder why I even- The sake of the image search was just to say that there ARE girls who do the style AND are provocative and hyper sexualized.[/font][/color][/quote] [color=#9933ff]I think you're misunderstanding my position. I understand what you are saying, and I agree: I'm not denying the existence of pictures like you showed me, lol. What I am saying is that pornography and/or provocative images are not the purpose of the Gothic Lolita style. As an analogy, like I said, pornography, fan service, and provocative images exist in anime, but that adult content is not the defining characteristic [i]of[/i] anime.[/color] [quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Directing someone to a wikipedia page doesn't exactly scream academic accuracy by the way. And your claim that gothic lolita isn't provocative is patently hilarious just linguistically. The term 'lolita' denotes a female who is pubescent or adolescent, pre adolescent, who are seductive or sexually attractive. Read the actual book [u]Lolita[/u] to see what I mean. Perhaps another term in your life style's title might be more beneficial and no longer call to mind the obvious 'I AM A YOUNG GIRL THAT'S TRYING TO BE SEXY SO PLEASE SCREW ME' response. [/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [color=#9933ff]Pulling out the statement that Wikipedia is unreliable because it is a free source is always a good excuse to invalidate an entire argument. Unfortunately, I also encouraged others to use the EGL comm on lj, and related links on lj, as reliable sources of information on the gothic lolita clothing style. The ladies (and lads) on EGL live and breathe gothic lolita style, so it would stand to reason that they can provide information on the style. Also, it is not only [i]my[/i] statement that "lolita is NOT a provocative fashion," but the community's statement as a whole. We are forever trying to correct people of the assumption that the Gothic Lolita style has anything to do with the original, Nobokovian (is that a word?) definition of the term "lolita." I have not read the book, but have seen the Adrian Lyne version of the movie, and have also heard my sister talk about it quite a bit at the time she liked it, so I do know the "original" erm... origin of the term. If you want to complain about the terminology, go right ahead. Hell, at egl we talk about it frequently enough, suggesting alternatives like "victorian fashion" and "frilly-chan" in place of the obviously pejorative "lolita" in the west. But we didn't name the fashion style, we just follow it. Please yell at some obscure group of "scene" people in the 1970s-1980s for naming Gothic Lolita fashion the way it is when they created it. However, in light of all that, Gothic Lolita fashion is not about dressing provocatively. As I've said, it's about returning to a state of childish innocence and/or Victorian elegance. Think "Alice in Wonderland." in the sense of a young girl going on a silly adventure. From what I gather from your posts, you're trying to say that Gothic Lolita fashion is all about being provocative and sexy and whoring yourself. Meanwhile, the absolute fact of the matter, steeped in practice and definition, is that it is about childlike innocence, frilly clothes, and very loosely based on Victorian fashion. Indifference: As I said to Raiha, I have seen the movie, and I was well aware of the Nobokovian definition of "lolita" long before I knew about the Japanese fashion. Please see above paragraphs, etc., etc. Sometimes a word can mean two different things, and in that case it's generally confusing to which one is which. This is one of those times, lol.[/color] [quote name='Desbreko'][color=#4B0082]I just have one question: If there's an Elegant Gothic Lolita style, does that mean there's also an [i]Un[/i]elegant Gothic Lolita style? And what would it look like?[/color][/QUOTE] [color=#9933ff]Actually, that's a funny story. The term "ELEGANT Gothic Lolita" is sort of a misnomer. The term for the fashion is actually "Gothic Lolita" or even sometimes just "Lolita" (which gets confusing because there was a style in the 1980s/1990s popularizing a Nabokovian lolita style of fashion. Or something like that? O_o) I've never actually gotten around to asking the official name of the style, and there may not be one. Hell, the west and east can't even agree on terminology in general: Ouji-sama is "Kodona" in the west, and "amaloli" is "sweet lolita" in the west. But I digress (sorry for the tangent!). "Elegant Gothic Lolita" is a Mana (as in Mana of Malice Mizer and Mois dix mois) terminology for one of his lines of clothes under his Gothic Lolita label "Moi-même-Moitié." In this line of clothing, the Gothic Lolita style is represented, as opposed to his other line "EGA" or "Elegant Gothic Aristocrat," which is a more mature version of the Gothic Lolita style and generally androgynous. It's all very confusing terminology semantics that makes it confusing in the beginning. The more time you spend looking into the fashion, the easier it gets. That's all I can say. Lol. *shrug* Edit: If I sound sarcastic, I really don't mean to! I'm actually going more for a "boring teacher in front of the classroom" tone. ;_; I wasn't mad the last time I posted, and I'm not mad now. Just clarifying my emotions for future reference. Kthxbai! :D[/color]

[color=#9933ff]Childish, yes, provocative, no. Please go have a look at the Gothic Lolita article on Wikipedia. K thanks. =) I also don't care what your google image search brings up, Raiha. The concept of Gothic Lolita is to imitate the clothing style of a young victorian child or woman (depending on the particular substyle). I am sorry you received such results from google, but as a casual follower of the style, I can assure you the results you are finding are certainly *not* what the message of Gothic Lolita style is about. It is, perhaps, frustrating and sad that you would find such search results, especially when the Gothic Lolita community at large endeavors to truly elimate such pornographic associations with the Gothic Lolita style, but google (image) search is not the be all and end all answer to every question. I'm not going to delve into the actual details and substyles of the fashion, but should there be anyone interested in pursuing the style, please feel free to PM with questions. Additionally, the EGL lj comm: [url]www.community.livejournal.com/egl/[/url] and related links may be of assistance to anyone interested in reading about what the hell it actually is. Edit: I also fail to see the merits of the "gothic lolita porn" image results in the context of connecting it with lolita for two reasons: 1) the safe search is off. Searching these words with the safe search on gives no such results and 2) when you search using the word "porn" of course you're going to get provocative images. You can search for "anime porn" and get some pretty racy things, but that doesn't mean that all anime in the entire history of anime was porn, so why should the same generalization have merit for Gothic Lolita? [/color]

[color=#9933ff]Gavin: It generally varies from state to state. Here in NJ, the rules are almost about the same as yours. 6 points in three years makes you pay extra surgarges on violations. 12 points in three years suspends your licence. And you have to pay a charge to get your licence back once the suspension period is over. For full overview, see here: [url]http://www.dmv.org/nj-new-jersey/point-system.php[/url] [/color]

[color=#9933ff]Ouch Gavin. That sucks. Three points on your licence for a cell? >_

[color=#9933ff]Not a friend but a school mate. She was driving past curfew on a provisional license and was speeding to make it home quicker. Something like 95-100 mph on the highway in two different speed zones (2 different tickets), which is probably why. *shrug*[/color]

[color=#9933ff]Only 50 cents for speeding? That's whacked, if you ask me. A girl I know was speeding and she practically had her license taken from her (I forget what happened. They kept postponing the court date until before she left for college in Washington so that it wouldn't matter she couldn't drive...) I always wear my seatbelt - it's like an automatic thing for me. And anyone who's not 18 in my car... I make sure they wear it, too (or I'm responsible for the ticket). Love the peeps, btw.[/color]

[color=#9933ff]To be honest, I'm just looking for advice for myself, but for the sake of making this a community discussion, have you ever gotten any tickets, or been pulled over? What was it for, and (even better) did you get out of it? I just got pulled over a couple weeks ago for being on my cell phone while driving. It was my first ticket, and it's not the money I was worried about, it was my mother and my insurance. And since I'm determined not to tell my mother (I'm 18 so I don't have to), I can't ask her whether or not I need to inform the insurance company. Do you know if this type of offense would require it? The lady in the court office told me the insurance wouldn't go up from this type of thing, but I'm still not sure if I have to actually report it. =/ What about you? Ever have to pay a ticket? (Or did you challenge it in court?) Points on your license? Share.[/color]

[color=#9933ff]"Je voudrais your mom." is a running joke I now have with my friend who is a French major. Basically, it was my attempt to mock his annoyingness of speaking French to me at awkward times, and since I took Spanish in high school, that's what came out. So now we joke about it. "Où es-tu?" I learned this weekend in Albany (MAAC tournament! Siena, you SUCK, Rider is awesome!) Okay. I will stop posting in here. =P[/color]

[color=#9933ff]Sound Nin - is your hair blue/violet? Or is it just black and the cam is weird? If it's the former, you rock. (Although the latter is cool, too.) I've always wanted violet hair. I said I would dye it once I turned eighteen. Here I am... my hair is still brown. ;_;[/color]

[quote name='ZeitGeist']Yeah, but what if the Mittster was down with the Digimon? What if he was comitted to passing laws to achieve a national Digimon awareness day? Obviously, I'm being completely tounge-in-cheek here. :D[/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]Oh man. That's a hard one. But I'd still have to say no. I like the little Digimon group. When fandoms get too big, stupid stuff happens. And I still like McCain better as a Republican (not that I'm voting republican). I think he'd get us out of Iraq, he knows his foreign policy, he can be bipartisan, and he's got experience. I wouldn't mind (TOO much) if he became the pres. [/color]

[color=#9933ff]Here in North New Jersey (North, not central or south) we have something called Bagels. ;) Bagels aren't good outside of our region: Bergen/Passaic/Essex counties, especially. (Where I'm at.) We also have pizza, because I'm sorry California, but your pizza SUCKS. The concept of the California Pizza Kitchen having good pizza is practically an oxymoron.[/color]

[quote name='ZeitGeist']And if Mitt Romney declared a love for classical music? Because he looks like the guy who sells those box sets from Time Life.[/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]XD That makes me laugh. Even if he did like classical, I still wouldn't vote for him. Besides, if he did, he's probably like Mozart. Ew! >

[color=#9933ff]I really don't understand the Hillary hate. You may not like her personally, but you know, if you look at her policies, she's about on par with Obama on a few issues (the ones I looked up that are important to me anyway). I also find that occasionally, the reasons people give for not liking her, i.e. "she's scary!" are the same reasons people WOULD vote for a male candidate. (She's scary and she's going to rule over American like a tyrannical Cthulu, as opposed to, "wow, that candidate is scary and he could totally dominate against other politicans.) And for God's sakes I am NOT, NOT NOT NOT attempting to turn this into a "Wah, boo-hoo, gender discrimination!!" debate. It hasn't been an issue in the reporting coverage, but in a private setting, I have seen some of it, and I thought it would be an interesting issue to address. As much as I wish her being a woman didn't affect the race... it does. ;) Though, of course, silly me, no one actually votes on candidates based on what their policies are - they'd rather vote based on appearance and likability. Personally, whoever wins the Dem. nomination - Obama or Clinton, I'll vote for. They're similar on the issues important to me, and both have their strengths and weaknesses (in ability to be elected).[/color]

[quote name='indifference'][COLOR="Indigo"]I believe you're referring to Newton's theory MistressRoxie, not a theory of Gravitation per se, not the same thing really. But I digress. My whole point in this thread is if you're going to use caps and essentially shout at someone saying they are wrong, lay off the caps and actually back up the claims of there is [I]tons and tons of facts to prove it's claims.[/I] Lets not turn this into a shouting match please.[/COLOR][/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]I think you went through the semantics of the first sentence with Nerdsey, but just to clarify, I am very aware that the theory of gravitation didn't pop out of the clouds from nowhere. I also did *NOT* say, "You're wrong to believe in creationism or intelligent design." What I DID say was, "You're wrong to dismiss Evolution as just a silly idea because for a fact, it has a staggering amount of evidence to prove its case." And if you're challenging me to provide that evidence, here you are: [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution[/url] - Please also take a look at the footnote references and the external links. There are [b]twelve[/b] recommended further readings, [b]190[/b] footnotes to the article, and [b]seven[/b] external links. [url]http://evolution.berkeley.edu/[/url] [url]http://darwin-online.org.uk/[/url] - The works of Charles Darwin [url]http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/[/url][/color]

[color=#9933ff]Yeah, I know someone who changed while they were in a relationship. I got pushed to second place by my friend when she had a b/f. I was annoyed at the time, and then realized she wasn't going to change (even after I pointed out her behavior) so I just dealt with it.[/color]

Evolution is not "just" a theory. It's a theory, but it's not "just" a theory. DO you know the scientific term of "Theory"? It meants it's an idea that's been tested plenty of times and/or there exists vastly numerous amounts of FACTS, DATA, and PROOF to back up the arguement. Gravity is a theory. It's called "The Theory of Gravitation." Would you argue then, that if I'm standing up with a pencil in my hand, and I drop my pencil, that "OMFG - the pencil will float up!!!" Of course not. You will take into consideration the VERY tried and true THEORY of gravitation, and tell me the pencil will fall to the ground. We only call it a theory of gravitation because we're not clairvoyant and we're not 100% certain that the pencil will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS fall to the ground, but we're reasonably f---ing sure it will. It's the same with evolution. There's no time machine where we can see the fact that we evolved from apes, but we're pretty damn sure we did. Your arguement now might be, "yeah, well, the theory of gravity is on a whole different level than evolution! That's like comparing apples to cows!" Let me assure you, it's not. Evolution has PLENTY OF EVIDENCE TO MAKE A VALID CASE. So if that's your logic, you're wrong plain and simple. You can't tell me 1+1=3 and be right. It's doesn't work. You're WRONG. Evolution has TONS AND TONS OF FACTS TO BACK UP ITS CLAIMS. (As does gravity.) I'm tired of people dismissing evolution because it's "JUST" a theory. Go look up the way we use the word theory in the context of evolution. It's backed by enough fact for it to be an intelligent, fairly conclusive consideration.

[quote name='AzureWolf']NOW college, that's where you meet that annoying foreign exchange student, Asians from California, that chick from the arbitrary state that no one cares about, etc. That's when you are exposed to several things and a really diverse populace, such that you can actually find out what you like and not just follow everyone else.[/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]Lol to all of that, and all the stereotypes you used. They're semi-true for me, too.[/color] [quote name='AzureWolf']And still for some, college is more about grades than dating, and so sometimes that's still not the right time and place.[/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]That [strike]might be[/strike] is (probably) me. I'm not scared by dating, I just haven't gone on a lot of them, and I wish I did, more. I'm one of those people, though, who can't just go on a date for the hell of it. I have to at least find them b/f material in some small, miniscule way. One time I didn't really like this guy at ALL, but I went on a date with him anyway (two dates actually), and it was nerve-wracking the whole time because I didn't actually like him at all. (Of course it took me about four weeks to figure THAT out.)[/color]

[color=#9933ff]Just a simple question, nothing to heavy, drama-inducing, or "omg, halps me with my bf/gf prob!!" My friends and I were just talking about dating at dinner today, so the topic is in my head. Just wondering if you prefer to know someone very well before you date them, or if you prefer blind dates. Had any bad (or good) dating stories (blind or otherwise), please feel free to share.[/color]

[quote name='Anomaly'][FONT="Georgia"]I am, but i don't do any Gothic Lolita cosplay -- that's my friend's nurse outfit actually, she could be on the site but I have no idea xD[/FONT][/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]Oh, okay. That works then. =P What style do you like? Classical over here (and I like Kuro, too). I