Ravenstorture

Do you think that bush had anything to do with 911, perhaps?

Rico: Quick, let's get out of here. They know where we are based now, it's not safe here. Spyder: I'm not going anywhere until he gets back here. Athen: Has it ever occured to you that somehting might have happened to him during your mad frlic through the streets back there? Spyder:What? Athen: No offence, Spyder, but you were running through that city like your life depended on it. Spyder: My life did depend on it. So did yours, by the way. Valiegh: Ok, ok, no need to get into an argument about it. I'm sure Harlequin is just being his normal self and breaking away for a while. Rico: so let's get the hell out of here. Spyder: I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM... Athen: Shhhh, it's ok, it's ok. He will be back soon, I am pretty sure of it. Valiegh: well, can we at least go someplace else? Rico: how about next door? You can get a good view of here from there...

[color=darkgreen]Davien: Well, would you mind not sneaking up on me like that again? Alastuin: I apologise. But really, you do deserve applause. That was really impressive. In fact, from all I have seen from you - the concealed campfire, the tripwires, the reflex to my almost silent arrival, the way you treated me... I would have to say you are really impressive. Davien: Hang on, I thought you said you saw the campfire? Alastuin:..... Davien: Hmmmm. Any other little surprises you would like to spring on me? [I]Alastuin takes the wooden spiderbox out of her pocket and opens it, letting a fat, hairy, black spider crawl out over her long, pale, fingers. Davien backs away quickly.[/I] Alastuin(chuckling): No, not really. I have already revealed one of your weaknesses, and that is enough for now. [/color]

[color=darkgreen] Evelyn: Well, if that is all, let us continue on our way. The earth tells me there is alot more ahead. Harlequin(mocking):[I]"The earth tells me there is alot more ahead..."[/I]Jesus, Evelyn, get a grip. We're warriors, not hippies. Evelyn:.... Harlequin: Well, anyway. You're right, we should get going. [I]Evelyn stands completely still and watches Harlequin leave with the rest of the group. Counting silently in her head, she continues forward after ten seconds, cursing silently to herself. "Go out of your way to preserve a man's dignity, and you get stepped on for it..."[/I][/color]

[I]As I ran into the house through the front door, pulling my gloves off as I pounded up the stairs, I wished for the seventy millionth time that I had not kept my secret from the rest of the group. There simply was no time to explain. Taking the key from my pocket, I ran down the hall to the small door I had unlocked and found it to be open. I ran up the stairs once more and found, to my utter dismay, that the room was completely empty, and the trapdoor I had uncovered in the corner was open. The family I had found cowering inside three days ago was gone, replaced with the sickly sweet smell of blood and sinew. I tore the bottom drawer of the duchess open and found that the corpse of the baby had also been taken. Swearing loudly, I walked back down the staircases and picked up my scythe and gloves. The rest of the group stood in the hallway. Someone was missing, however.[/I] Spyder: Where's Harlequin?

[color=darkgreen][I]Another night to face alone, I thought. Another night in the cold... funny, I rally shouldn't worry about the cold, seemingly as I can't feel it, but it was distressing that it was there all the same. I walked back into the city, crossing over the street in which the unfortunate rich boy with the vodka fetish had met his demise, and selected a nice, warm, inlet in which I would sleep for the night. Curling up inside the doorway to an oxfam store, I began to drift off to sleep, keeping my wits about me.[/color][/I]

[color=darkgreen][I]Spyder emerged from behind a tree in the depths of the city park, the distant hum of a motorcycle buzzing in the distance. Spyder began to walk towards the outskirts of the park, the scent of a wet road ahead of her, growing stronger as she stalked forward. Soon, the road was glimpsed in the distance, as well as a tall, slim figure walking towards her. She stopped and stood very, very still, scenting the thing advancing to her. It seemed to scent her also, and stopped. Spyder knew by that action alone that this thing wasn?t fully human. Feeling safer, she began to walk forward again. As the moonlight lit up the figure?s face, it revealed her to be a teenage girl, holding a wooden spike.[/I] Spyder: Oh, ****. Summer: Who are you? Spyder (preparing to dissapear again): nothing to do with the likes of you, slayer. [/color]

(sorry we're dominating the rpg, sarsy, but we haven't got anything else to do!!!!) [color=darkgreen] Spyder: Probably because I am not just another piece of meat you can suck on. [I]Davien spins around and finds Spyder leaning against the wall, concealed in shadow.[/I] Davien: You really don't like vampyres, do you? Spyder: No, I just don't like you. [I]Spyder turns and walks straight into the brick wall, passing through it easily and leaving no trace of herself but a faint, sooty smell. Davien curses, knowing she would be harder to track down this time.[/I][/color]

Spyder: But first I need to get my scythe. [I]Spyder begins running through the building, oblivious of whether or not the rest are keeping up with her. She runs through the building like a mazerat, not pausing to see where the deadends and broken staircases are. Within a minute or two, the five of them are sprinting back down the main street, dodging the crazed lunatics that lunge at them from either side. When the group reaches the house, they slow down and hide in the hedge Spyder had hid in those few days ago when she had first come to this city. Watching through the trees, they pbserved the house to be in complete silence. Then, as tehy were about to venture forward, a high pitched scream erupted from the upper storeys of the house.[/I] Ather: What the... Spyder: Oh no, please god don't let it be too late...

[color=darkgreen] Spyder: One can never be sure with us demons... [I]Spyder turns and walks out quickly, slamming the door behind her. When Davien jumps up from the couch and opens the door after her, she is nowhere to be seen along the long, dark corridors of the building.[/I][/color]

Ok, ok Harlequin.... you've convinced me. [color=darkgreen] Name: Anathema Age: 20 Appearance: thin, pale, very very long straight red hair streaked with black. Wears black, covers as much body as is nonconstricting to her movement. Personality: Quiet voice, dislikes human contact except if it hurts either them or her. Thrives off solitude. Magic User: yes Spells: -Simple flying technique, -summoning commands for lightish objects within two metres. Weapon: a dagger, twohanded sword and a two-foot length of wire. [/color]

For the LAST TIME, get the HELL OUT OF MY RPG!!!!! IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU ALIVE, DEAD OR MISSING IN ACTION I WANT YOU TO STOP POSTING IN THIS THREAD IMMEDIATELY OR THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I WILL NOT STOP KICKING YOU UNTIL YOU CAN WATCH ME DOING IT OUT OF BOTH EYES!!!!

Why the hell not. name: Anathema age: 19 village: Saradore weapon: fingernails, long dagger, staff vehicle: I walk wherever possible, hitch hike wherever neccessary. description: Very pale, hates sunlight, long black hair, very long sharp fingernails with razorblades attatched to the index and middle fingers. Likes tight, black clothing, dislikes licorice. And journalists. Hates journalists.

This RpG is dying.

[color=darkgreen][I] Evelyn, having instinctivly hung back from the rest of the group, reaches the top of the hill and looks down upon the battle ensuing below. Not pausing for a moment, she runs into the fray and begins cutting down the few zombies that had penetrated the group and continued onwards down the road. Taking wild, slashing strokes with her katana, Evelyn leaves a trail of segregated zombies as she feasts from the leftovers with stunning grace. Glancing to her left, she sees that Harlequin has become surrounded. Conscious of his pride in his incredible combat skills, she camoflagues herself with a single word and begins to cull the numbers surrounding her fellow attacker. He does not seem to notice, and as she reappears they continue to fight unperturbed. [/color][/I]

[color=darkgreen][I] Alastuin lights a candle as it begins to grow darker and rummages around the draws in her room for some enanced witchhazle. Disgusted at herself for allowing her stockpile of witchazel to grow so drastically scarce, she selects a long stick from beside the door and, gathering her robes around her, ventured out into the cold night without her purse, without her spiderbox, and without extinguishing the candle burning inside the thatchroof house in which she lives. Again, disgusted at herself, she returns inside to pick up her purse and blow out the candle. Three minutes later, Alastuin rushes back down the road and into the house, picks up a small wooden box off the table and again sets out for the village of Kendale. By this time it is nearly dark. [/color][/I]

[color=darkgreen] If you're in, I'm in. Name: Alastuin Age: 16 Race: halfelf (woodelf) Class: mage Weapon: long kris dagger, Emerald topped staff for general majickal thingymajings Armor: black, celticwoven leather bracers on forearms, steel neck chokerband Spells: manipulation of flora, fauna, bodies of water etc [/color]

[color=darkgreen] Spyder: Well, it doesn't have to if you don't want it to, but it may concern you in the future... Davien: I don't like where this is heading. Spyder: Good. [I]Spyder cracks her knuckles and leans black in the chair, staring holes into the back of Davien's head.[/I] Spyder: Besides, I like it here. Stockings are so hard to obtain in the firey pits of eternal damnation... Davien(laughing): I'm happy you found it worthwhile sacrificing friendship for home. Spyder: Not friendship, sex. Now, if you don't mind, I am going to sit here and stare at the wall until you suggest that I leave, whereupon I will do so with great flair. Davien: I'm not sure I know what you mean by that... [/color]

Albequerque by Wierd Al Vankovic Has To Be the Funnyest Song I Have Ever Heard In my Life It Goes for Twelve Minutes And I listened To It Three Times In a Row And Laughed my Left Leg Off Each Time [SIZE=1]Albuquerque Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop... you know the place... well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy... except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning? my mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast? Arggggh! Big bowl of sauerkraut!! Every single morning!! It was driving me crazy! I said to my mom, I said, "Hey! Mom! What's up with all the sauerkraut??" And my dear sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train, and she leaned right down next to me, and she said, "Unhhhh... It's goooood for you!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half years old. That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far-away place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh-so-fluffy... where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel. Wocka wocka doo doo yeah. Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true, because the very next day a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize... That's right, a first-class one-way ticket... to Al?buquerque! Al?buquerque! Oh yeah? You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before, and I gotta tell you, it was really great? except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor, and the little kid in back of me kept throwing up the whole time, and the flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie was "Bio-Dome" with Pauly Shore, and three of the airplane engines burned out and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died? except for me? you know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up? and my seat back in the full upright position, had my tray table up? and my seat back in the full upright position? had my tray table up? and my seat back in the full upright position? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! So I crawled from the twisted, burning wreckage? I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days? dragging along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally I arrived at the world-famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn where the towels are oh-so-fluffy? and you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna. It's okay, they're clean! Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the Spectravision and I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that I love so very, very much when suddenly there's a knock on the door. Well, now who could that be? I say, "Who is it?" No answer. "Who is it?" There's no answer. "Who is it??" They're not sayin' anything. So finally I go over and I open the door, and just as I suspected? it's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. Ohhhh, man, I hate it when I'm right. So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel and I'm like, "Hey! You can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!" And he's like, "Tough!" And I'm like, "Give it!" And he's like, "Make me!" And I'm like, "'kay!" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation. Yes indeed, you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the phone got knocked off the hook and twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice, and you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said. It said, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator... If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator..." in Al?buquerque! Al?buquerque! Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest? I would not sleep for an instant? until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop and I walked on up to the guy behind the counter and he says, "Yeah, whaddaya want?" I said, "You got any glazed donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta glazed donuts." I said, "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta jelly donuts!" I said, "You got any Bavarian creme-filled donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian creme-filled donuts!" I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said, "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls!" I said, "You got any apple fritters?" He said, "No, we're outta apple fritters!" I said, "You got any bear claws?" He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check?????..No!! We're outta bear claws!!" I said, "Well, in that case... in that case, what do you have?" He says, "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels." I said, "Okay. I'll take that." So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over. Arr arrrr arrrrh. Oh man, they were just going nuts. They were tearing me apart! You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started going through my head. I believe it went a little something like this: "Arrrrrrgh!!! Get 'em off of me!!! Get 'em off me!!! Argggggh!!! Get 'em off!! Get 'em off!! Arrrrrrrrgh... Arggggggghh!!!" I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face, waving my arms all around and just running, running, running like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams. Her name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches. I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me. She said, "Hey. You've got weasels on your face." That's when I knew it was true love. We were inseparable after that. Aw, we ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss. Aw, the world was our burrito. So we got married and we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly. Oh, we were so very, very, very happy. Oh yeah. But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me, she said, "Sweetie Pumpkin? do you want to join the Columbia record club?" I said, "Whoa! Hold on now, baby! I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment!" So we broke up and I never saw her again. But that's just the way things go... in Al?buquerque! Al?buquerque! Anyway, things really started looking up for me, because about a week later I finally achieved my life-long dream. That's right, I got me a part-time job at the Sizzler. I even made Employee of the Month after I put out that grease fire with my face. Oh yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that. I was gettin' a lot of attitude. Okay, like one time, I was out in the parking lot trying to remove my excess ear wax with a golf pencil, when I see this guy Marty trying to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself. So I say to him, I say, "Hey! You want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, "Nooo, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chain saw." So I did. And then he gets all indignant on me! He's like, "Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great. How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind-reader, for crying out loud. Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso Boy - so what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote. This guy comes up to me on the street and he tells me he hasn't had a bite in three days. Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny I took a big bite out of his jugular vein. And he's yelling and screaming and bleeding all over, and I'm like, "Hey! Come on! Don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding and screaming, "Ahhhhh!! Ahhhhh!! Ahhhhhh!!!" - y'know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation. Man, some people just can't take a joke, y'know? Anyway, I uh... Um? where was I?...... I kinda lost my train of thought. Uh? Well, okay, anyway, I know it's kind of a round-about way of saying it, but I guess the whole point I'm trying to make here is... I... HATE... SAUERKRAUT!! That's all I'm really trying to say. And by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandary, full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful, meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours, there's still a little place... called Al?buquerque! Al?buquerque! Albuquerque! Albuquerque! Albuquerque! Albuquerque! I said, A! (A!) L! (L!) B! (B!) U! (U!) ...querque!! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!) Al?? buquerque! [/SIZE]

[I][color=darkgreen] Spyder yawned and looked about the crowded street, full of recently graduated lawyers and burnt-out prostitutes. Someone, somewhere, was going to die tonight, She could feel it. But then again, it was like that every night for her. Chuckling to herself, she stepped out into the drizzle and proceded to stalk menacingly down the street. Various catcalls echoed behind her, as well as the smouldering looks thrown at her by the much-less- attractive hookers that skulked on corners and outside bars. She approached a couple of young louts who were in the midst of a vodka fight. Obviously wealthy, vodka was not cheap in these parts. Without slowing down, Spyder slipped a lighter out of her pocket and set one of the men on fire as she walked past. Breaking into a run as soon as she heard the screams begin behind her, she darted across the street and into a dark alleyway. Leaning against the wet brick wall to catch her breath, she decided to sneak a look at the havok she had caused on the darkened street. But that was when the figure caught her eye. A tall creature, concealed in the shadow by his dark clothing but his stark white face was what caught her attention. Usually the fact that she was a creature of hell, a legion of Satan gave her enough confidance to just about sign up for ballet but for some reason this person (if that is who it was) caught her off guard. [/I][/color]

Hey! I never said it was the worst experience I have ever had. Yes, I have experienced worse. But in my opinion, that experience wasn't that bad, really. I missed the worst of it... as you can see in the story. It was just upsetting. As it should be. And stop bragging about how crap your lives are! I watched a woman get beaten to death for showing her arm and all you two can do is point out that "I have experienced a lot worse." And as for being THANKFUL that I saw a innocent woman DIE, give me a break. that has to be one of the most stupid things I have ever heard the two of you say. No, I am not THANKFUL that I saw it, nor am I THANKFUL that it was the worse thing I have seen - because it isn't!! It just so HAPPENED that I recorded the event in a story.

Well, that's seven of us now.... it will get hard keeping track from here on in, perhaps...

Spyder: I have my oathblade. As does Athen... we are nearly prepared to go after Sellum. Rico: Do you know where he might be? Spyder: Yes... I saw it. I looked into the portal that took Eps, and I recognised the place...

[I]The Harlequin now fought above me, and, having no need to fend formyself anymore, I sank to the ground and lay there. The fight above me seemed to be picking up pace, although the Lightbearers were thinning noticebly. I felt my energy drain from my back, and the blue light began to fade. Soon, all that glowed were two magnificently blue eyes that danced in front of me. I heard my name being said, a whisper of, "Spyder - Spyder, you must get up! Please, Spyder...", a woman's voice. then, they eyes faded and I fell into unconsciousness, oblivious of the massacred bodies that I rested upon. [/I]

Actually, English is apparently one of the hardest languages to learn but people who speak it as a first language don't realise it because it's much easier to learn something as a first language. Have you noticed that if you speak english, you think in english? That's why it appears easy. Thinking in a different language to what you are speaking is difficult. However, if you surround yourself with a language that you are learning, you begin to think in that language as an impulse that speeds the learning process up. I have lived in many different countries, such as Greece, Egypt, England and Australia. I learnt a bit of each language when I lived there, and found that the best way to learn a language is if you are exposed to it constantly. I am currently learning Japenese, I have been doing so for about five years. I am pretty fluent in reading hiragana and katakana and I can recognise about one hundred or so kanji. It's difficult, though, with so many languages floating around in my head. Another thing I found is that if you learn a language from the country itself, the first words you learn are usually thankyou and swearwords. The most difficult language ever spoken is Sanscrit, which was a language of the hindu provinces (north india) but it is no longer spoken. The kama sutra was written originally in sanscrit. The reason sanscrit was so difficult, I think, is because there were no patterns involved. All words were made up out of nothing, and so everything was completely different and had to be memorised completely. No wonder it's not spoken anymore. Some scholars still speak it to study ancient texts. It's the same in greek today - plurals of a word are often completely different from the original word. I really struggled with the greek language, but all you really have to know if Epharisto, which is thankyou, and perimene, which means I understand. the great thing about greece, though, is that you don't need to.