Mr. Maul

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]I'm a firm believer in the clichéd phrase, "[B]no publicity is bad publicity[/B]." There are two ways of looking at it. The first, and most common way, is that the phrase means there is no such thing as bad publicity; all publicity is good. The other angle is that having no publicity at all is, in itself, bad publicity. Either way, I think both meanings are true. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Isn't this thread awfully similar to "[B][url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=57779]What Are You Listening To?[/url][/B]"? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[center][IMG]http://www.babble.com/CS/photos/strollerderbyjul2007/images/32295/original.aspx[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.bostonherald.com/blogs/entertainment/rough_edge/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/cruela.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/mickey-mouse-smoking.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.disneyshorts.org/characters/graphics/timber.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v360/killerv/caterpillar-disney-3.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.frederatorblogs.com/media/inline/3394.jpg[/IMG][/center]

[quote=Sound_Nin][COLOR=Navy][FONT=Book Antiqua]At the risk of sounding like a 4 year old... ... that's mean. (Seriously, unnecessary. Tut tut.)[/FONT][/COLOR][/quote] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]YOU DIDN'T MENTION WAFFLES! I had these toastable Belgian waffle things once. They were absolutely delicious, though for the life of me, I cannot remember where I got them. They were the perfect waffles, though. They had the perfect texture, firmness, and flavor. Like freshly-toasted Heaven. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][LEFT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray][COLOR=White]Allamorph: Air five, but with completely emotionless faces.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/LEFT]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]The real crime is namedropping such mediocre items as MD and C&C in a futile attempt to sound cool. I like waffles. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[quote name='Justin']How would you judge me, say, if I did have facial ink, a one inch tongue split, 1 inch gauges, a septum ring and the like? Would it be different than the appearance I described before? Is that justified?[/quote] [SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]First, I don't judge (usually). Second, you just described about four or five of my friends. Even my ex-girlfriend had a septum ring, as well. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=dimgray]Mind-numbingly generic trance.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=dimgray]It is so horribly stereotypical and uncreative, I can't stop listening to it.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[quote=Vicky][SIZE=1] I didn't realise I had ever tried waffles because the ones I tasted were disgusting. Incidentally, I will not be trying waffles ever again.[/SIZE][/quote] [SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]What a beautiful philosophy. [/sarcasm] [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[quote name='Gavin][SIZE=1]And here I thought you and Beth were such a [I]virginal[/I'] couple Rach... How disappointing. ;)[/SIZE][/quote] [SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]You don't have to say anything, [B]Rach[/B]... A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! Say no more, say no more, say no more, squire! [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]I hadn't been on Pandora in a while... but it's about time they added classical music to their collection. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Alright, in no particular order, every movie I watched in the month of January: [B]Borat[/B]* - Funny [B]Superbad[/B] - Good [B]Cube[/B] - Unique [B]National Treasure: Book of Secrets[/B] - As good as could be expected, or rather, very commercial [B]Mr. Bean's Holiday[/B] - Better than I had expected, but still just okay [B]Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters[/B] - Funny [B]Employee of the Month[/B] - Lame; Andy Dick = Only redeeming quality [B]Pi[/B] - Interesting [B]Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels[/B] - Entertaining [B]Go[/B]* - Fun [B]Reefer Madness[/B]* - Classic [B]Severance[/B] - Okay [B]The Labyrinth[/B]* - Classic [B]Hot Fuzz[/B] - Good, though somewhat long [B]Trainspotting[/B] - Good [B]Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas[/B]* - Classic [B]Little Miss Sunshine[/B] - Decent for an "indie" [B]Ghost World[/B] - Good [B]Matchstick Men[/B] - Good [B]Panic[/B] - Meh [B]The Lookout[/B] - Decent, though a better decent than Little Miss Sunshine [B]Bandits[/B]* - Fun [B]Reservoir Dogs[/B]* - Classic [B]American History X[/B]* - Meh [B]O Brother, Where Art Thou?[/B]* - Classic [B]The Addams Family[/B]* - Classic [B]Addams Family Values[/B]* - Good *Indicates a repeat viewing; titles without asterisks were seen for the first time Movie count so far: 28 Now, movies that have been mentioned already that I have seen in the past, and will most likely see again this year: [B]Once Upon a Time in the West[/B] - Classic [B]The History Boys[/B] - Not what I had expected, but good nonetheless [B]300[/B] - Okay [B]Time Bandits[/B] - Classic [B]Shaun of the Dead[/B] - Good [B]Forrest Gump[/B] - Classic [B]Hero[/B] - Good[/COLOR] [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana][COLOR=DimGray][B] 1.[/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][COLOR=DimGray][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              The blank page mocks me the same way Friday mocks the other days of the week. Especially Wednesday. The hump day. The middle child of the Day family. Middle children tend to grow up to be serial killers. But even serial killers can manage to get books written.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              My name is Johnny. Jonathan, actually, but only my parents call me that. Everyone else calls me Johnny. A few friends call me John. I also had an ex-girlfriend who called me "Nny" after some comic book or something. She was kind of weird. No one, and I mean no one, calls me John Boy. Or rather, no one ever makes that mistake twice.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              I come from a normal family, I guess. A mom and dad who have been married nearly twenty-three years, an older brother and sister, a dog named "Ambrosius." Well, maybe having non-divorced parents and a pet whose name came from a David Bowie movie isn't necessarily normal, but you understand what I mean. I guess "average" would be a more adequate adjective, but only if the quotation marks stayed.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]               It's Tuesday morning. I've been up all night. Again. Too many distractions, nowhere near enough attractions. I'll just occupy my mind with trivial cognitive clutter for another two or three hours, find nourishment, and then take a twelve hour nap. Wake up. Do it again. Lather, rinse, and repeat. A brutal cycle, I know, but I'm not complaining.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              Six months, no progress. I'm convinced I have ADD. Diagnosis is not the answer, though. The last thing I need is to be speeding on Adderall all day. I'm already up all night as it is. It doesn't need to turn into a twenty-four/seven, prescribed, uncontrollable, and highly-regimented affair. Allmychildren, I can see it now! Running around, synapses buzzing like honey bees on meth. Multi-tasking faster than mother octopus with toddler octuplets. Horrible. Hypertension, bruxism, tachycardia, arrhythmia, nystragmus, savage paranoia, aneurysms, hemorrhaging, death. Oh, no. No amphetamines for me. I can barely take a Ludens without seizing. Although, I don't think there'd be any notable difference in my post-mortem accomplishments compared to my current progress.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              Six months I've been staring at that blank page, and for the entirety of those one hundred and eighty days (approximately), that snow-white sheet of paper has sat there, all smug and condescending, just like papers do. It silently laughs at my inability to not only write coherently, but also creatively. Every minute that goes by and nothing is written is just one more minute that cursed piece of paper has won. Inanimate objects are the bane of my existence, second only to gravity.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              When my brother turned twenty years old, he changed. Not over night, but steadily nonetheless. He said he wanted to make a difference in the world. I bought him a recycling bin. He joined the Peace Corps. I guess saving trees wasn't big enough for him. That was nearly two years ago. I haven't seen him since. Sure, he writes frequently, calls on Christmas and such, but still, two years is a long time. A lot can happen in two years. People grow old and die. Towns build and raze buildings. Television series get the green light, only to be cancelled halfway through the pilot. Change is inevitable. Too bad nobody ever told that to this Godforsaken piece of paper.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              Six months. Six long months I've been trying to write a story for my Peace-Corpsing brother. Six months, and what have I got to show for it? One solved Rubik?s Cube, a 1/300th scale model of the U.S.S. Arizona (complete with entombed sailors - horrible, I know... what was Milton Bradley thinking?), a fist-sized hole in the wall, sixty-three empty Jones bottles, ten pounds, one inch, two cavities, a broken door, a clock radio that's been blinking the wrong time (with a minus three hour and twenty minute deviation, exactly) for two months, five books full of unsolved Su Dokus, one sprained wrist, a ticket stub from a Regina Spektor concert, a beard, goatee, and a mustache, a new (used) car, three ex-girlfriends, twenty DVD's, a new (used) PA system, three speeding tickets, twenty-thousand plus (and counting) mp3's, a lost/stolen wallet, two wasted laptop batteries, one and a half fistfights, two A's, one B, and a C. In other words, absolutely nothing.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              It's not that I don't want to write a story for Darryl. That's not it at all. I would love to sit down and churn out a hefty manuscript or a healthy-sized book. Heck, I'd be tickled retarded to write a Nobel Prize-winning Great American Novel for him. It just all boils down to Inspiration versus Distraction. These two factors are not literally battling each other, per se. It's more of an eating contest of sorts. They see who can out-eat the other, thus outweighing him as well. Unfortunately for me, my Inspiration is so devastatingly crippled by anorexia, he makes Ally McBeal look like the sumo champion of the world. Even Ethiopian children are disgusted by my Inspiration's appearance. Back to sumo wrestlers, let us not forget big ol' Mr. Distraction, a creature so morbidly obese, he makes sumo champs look like Annie McBeal. Even at this very moment, Distraction is on his way to an all-you-can-eat lard buffet, and he is definitely going to be hopping the lines. It still befuddles the living daylights out of me as to how two intangible abstractions can have eating disorders. That'd be like - [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Johnny![/B]" My sister was standing in my doorway.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]You KNOCK first![/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]               "[B]Your door's broken anyway, so it doesn't matter.[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Umm... yeah, it does. It's called manners. You don't just barge into someone's room.[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]The door was OPEN![/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Whatever. What do you want?[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Mom wants you to take care of the trash.[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Why? Is it sick?[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]What?[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Never mind. Tell her I'll do it in a bit.[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Tell her yourself. I'm not your own personal Western Union.[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]No kidding.[/B]"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              Lana can only stomach so much of my guff before she just has to leave. She exited my doorway, acting as if she hadn't heard my last remark.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]SHUT MY DOOR![/B]" I yelled.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]It's STILL BROKEN![/B]" she rebuked from the living room.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              "[B]Stupid, inanimate, broken door,[/B]" I muttered, making repeated attempts to force it shut, but to no avail. I ended up just wedging my skateboard up against it to hold it shut. Might as well get some use out of that thing. Only cost me ten bucks (used), though. That's a little thing I like to call, "bargain shopping."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              I sat back down at my (once-discarded, now-salvaged) desk, hoping I might be able to stare-down the paper into submission, perhaps even intimidating it into writing itself.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              Elapsed Time: ten minutes. Yet another victory chalked up for the ex-tree. I retire to my bed. The meal can wait. Right now, I require self-regeneration. Unconsciousness. Slumber, if you will. I pray to the sadistic, schizophrenic dream fairy for something half worth writing about to occur during my R.E.M. cycles. I turn on the fan, tune the clock radio to an in between station, allowing the soft and soothing white noise to quietly haunt my room. I turn the light out, lie down, and then turn [I]my[/I] lights out.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]              See you on the other side. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[quote name='DeathKnight][COLOR=crimson']A group of bloggers going to an event on the basis of journalism acting like young children and doing justice to the revered, untarnished name of journalism - especially as far as blogging goes![/COLOR][/quote] [SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]I bet that could (very) loosely be defined as gonzo journalism. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[center][IMG]http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/mrmaul/tombstone.png[/IMG][/center]

[quote name='Rachmaninoff']That begs the question of what boss is sensible? :p[/quote] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=dimgray]That's why I used the word [I]sensible[/I], instead of sensible, lol.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[quote name='Panache']Which is why that is funny,ironic, and fail.[/quote] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=dimgray]I never thought I'd EVER say this, but:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=dimgray]Kudos to you, [B]Panache[/B]. Kudos, indeed.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[quote name='Premonition][COLOR=#123400']That's funny considereing that the thread being linked is mine too[/COLOR][/quote] [SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Precisely. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[quote name='Gavin][SIZE=1']people's jobs could be affected by it.[/SIZE][/quote] [SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]That seemed to be the most common reason as to why people didn't find humor in it (if you read the comments on the vid). However, if you really think about it, I don't believe that reason holds much water. I mean, what [I]sensible[/I] boss is going to fire someone just because the product they were displaying was "faulty"? Granted, sales could be affected by unimpressed convention-goers, but even then, I suspect that the attendees of the convention only represented about 1% (if that) of their customer base. Please keep in mind, this is all (my thoroughly-unbacked) speculation. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Against my better judgment, I'm going to take a risk and post in a [B]DB[/B] thread... I'd have to say that I'm a sucker for the classic "emotional" bands (note: not Emo). Anything by [B]Death Cab[/B]/[B]Postal Service[/B], [B]Coldplay[/B], [B]Bright Eyes[/B], et. al, really gets me thinking about ex-girlfriends, current crushes, and other such topics of love. [B]David Bowie[/B]'s "[B]Heroes[/B]" (the [B]Aphex Twin[/B] remix), select songs by [B]Arcade Fire[/B] (especially "[B]Tunnels[/B]"), select songs by [B]The Shins[/B], and "[B]Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime[/B]" (both the original, and the [B]Beck[/B] cover) all do the trick, as well. I guess that aside from a song evoking the "awesome!" emotional reaction from me, "love" is the only other emotion I ever feel due to music. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]They're called "balls." And just like you said, anyone with them deserves respect. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Two maximum security prisons, a juvenile detention center, a tree where three white men were hanged for killing Indians (Native Americans), and more antique shops than you can shake a senior citizen at. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[URL="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=57514&highlight=worst+music"][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Click Click[/COLOR][/SIZE][/URL][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]. Prem fails again. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[quote=taperson][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue][SIZE=3][B][I]WHO is it?![/I][/B][/SIZE] [SIZE=1]Mr. Maul[/SIZE] [SIZE=3][B][I]WHY is he "Nifty"?![/I][/B][/SIZE] [SIZE=1]My God, what ISN'T nifty about him? Six years of OB loyalty plus the humorous posts that make my heart smile are just a few of the "nifty" qualities he has. Not to mention his incredible [URL="http://otakuboards.com/showpost.php?p=796498&postcount=10"][B]Event Master Audition[/B][/URL] & [URL="http://otakuboards.com/showpost.php?p=800076&postcount=7"][B]Take On Censorship[/B][/URL]. Plus, I met him, & we got in a [URL="http://otakuboards.com/showpost.php?p=801135&postcount=21"][B]car accident[/B][/URL]. All in all, Mr. Maul is just nifty, & he has great taste in music![/SIZE][/COLOR][/quote] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]I'd like to second the nomination. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray][B]The Gossip[/B] - [B]Standing in the Way of Control[/B] [B]The Gossip[/B] - [B]Standing in the Way of Control[/B] ([B]Soulwax Nite Version[/B]) [B]The Gossip[/B] - [B]Standing in the Way of Control[/B] ([B]Le Tigre Remix[/B]) [B]The Gossip[/B] - [B]Standing in the Way of Control[/B] ([B]Headman Remix[/B]) [B]The Gossip[/B] - [B]Standing in the Way of Control[/B] ([B]Tronik Youth Remix[/B]) [B]The Gossip[/B] - [B]Standing in the Way of Control[/B] ([B]Playgroup Dub[/B]) [B]The Gossip[/B] - [B]Standing in the Way of Control[/B] ([B]Live At Glastonbury Festival 2007[/B]) [B]The Gossip[/B] vs. [B]Dangerous Dan[/B] [B]&[/B] [B]Nicky Van She[/B] vs. [B]Daft Punk[/B] - [B]Gossip Around The World Again[/B] That's about it. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]First off, there should be some sort of script running that prevents [B]DB[/B], [B]Prem[/B], and [B]Panache[/B] from being able to post in the same thread. It's like I read the same three posts over and over again for four pages. Secondly, I'm going to quote a segment out of [B]Chuck Klosterman[/B]'s latest book, [B][U]IV[/U][/B]:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [quote=Chuck Klosterman] [SIZE=1]Do you want to be happy? I suspect that you do. Well, here's the first step to happiness: don't get pissed off that people who aren't you happen to think Paris Hilton is interesting and deserves to be on TV every other day; the fame surrounding Paris Hilton is not a reflection of your life (unless you want it to be). Don't get pissed off because the Yeah Yeah Yeahs aren't on the radio enough; you can buy the goddamn record and play "Maps" all goddamn day (if that's what you want). Don't get pissed off because people didn't vote the way you voted; you knew this was a democracy when you agreed to participate, so you knew this was how things might work out. Basically, don't get pissed off over the fact that the way you feel about culture isn't some kind of universal consensus. Because if you do, you will end up feeling betrayed. And it will be your own fault. You will feel bad, and you will deserve it. Now, it is quite possible you disagree with me on this issue. And if you do, I know what your argument is: you're thinking, [I]But I'm idealistic[/I]. This is what people who want to inflict their values on other people always think; they think that there is some kind of romantic, respectable aura that insulates the inflexible, and that their disappointment with culture latently proves that they're tragically trapped by their own intellect and good taste. Somehow, they think their sense of integrity―if you truly live by your ideals, and those ideals dictate how you engage with the world at large―you will never feel betrayed by culture. You will simply enjoy culture more. You won't necessarily start watching syndicated episodes of [I]Everybody Loves Raymond[/I], but you will find it interesting that certain people do. You won't suddenly agree that [I]Amélie[/I] was a more emotive movie than [I]Friday Night Lights[/I], but you won't feel alienated and offended if every film critic you read tells you that it is. You will care, but you won't care. You're not wrong, and neither is the rest of the world. But you need to accept that those two things aren't really connected.[/SIZE][/quote] [SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]Thirdly, I think what [B]SunfallE[/B] said nicely concludes my post:[/COLOR][/SIZE] [quote name='SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode] In the end I think it's almost a pointless debate or topic in the sense that if you already do things based on what you really like or feel; being considered mainstream or an individual is rather meaningless because all that matters is being yourself and leaving the labels behind.[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]