Mitch

Nice job. Although I can't really relate to these poems, because they are all about something I have never had (love) they still are quite good. I also like how all your poems are diffrent, or they don't show some of the same likenesses with the next. I usually can't write a very good poem unless there is some conflict or something which bothers me greatly. It's those feelings that we have that create the best poems. Keep writing.

All right, decided to make a thread to constantly update with new poems. I guess I will repost a poem that I posted a while back, so some of you who didn't get a chance to read it do. [color=red][b][u]Eye Soul[/b][/u] Within everyone's eyes there is a story of the times within everyone's eyes you can see a glimpse of individuality an understanding of them deep down inside their minds within everyone's eyes you can see a sparkle of intuition from the core you can see the plagues paining the kindness shinning the eyes truly are a view into the soul and that view only seems to grow the longer you know someone and then grows to be so much more when you look into someone's eyes, it just seems so easy to emphasize view their mind in understanding declare but still yet not know enough to pursue a curiosity of their emotion try to understand their deep ocean our eyes are only an impression an impression of only a view of a mask the rest is hidden away until that mask is pierced then the real person is shown deep under that mask and here's a new one I wrote a few days ago: [b][u]Judgemental[/b][/u] People can be so Judgemental you do one thing wrong within their eyes then they label you as if you are nothing they only look at your cover putting you down without truly understanding your true story only reading your title and basing their feelings on just that then you wait awhile sort out yourself and you try to get them to read you from the inside out tell them forget the past start anew but they have those presumptions about you and still they only stick by those it feels so unfair unfair to them as well as you like a double-edged sword and you look back and wonder what it would've been like to like to give them the right first impression or get to know them and them to know you not just as a label then you realize you wouldn't have had it that way anyways [/color] that's it for now, more later. oh, forgot to mention: sent some of my poems to [url]http://www.otakupoetry.com[/url] if anyone wants to check it out. I doubt they are up yet, but they will be soon. Thanks.

Wow, I haven't posted any poems here for a LONG time. I've been really busy this summer. [color=red] Chosen Life Life is such a constant endeavor it just keeps going on forever and we all walk along this path bear the displeasing stress have our moments of caress we all walk this path our own ways follow our destinies in a hectic haze and as we grow older the world seems to become colder we begin to see the true meaning of life see it not as an endeavor but an enjoyable experience that we can express forever keep inside our souls and except the life that we chose[/color] Comments?

[color=red]Napster is gone I think at least. Sure it was good while it was here, but it was only the beginning of more free music downloading. It only brought it to the mainstream, and then people took it. I know I am ripping off artists for downloading for free, but I still would rather buy an album, that is if I actually enjoy more than one song. That's the problem with some bands, they have one good song and the rest of the album is usually nothing good, or out of the ordinary.[/color]

[color=red]My favorite band is probably System of a Down, I love the loudness of the music and their singer is great at putting emotion into the way the words are spoken. They have 2 albums out, I like the first one a little better because it is louder, and has some interesting songs. So what is your favorite band?[/color]

[color=red]The only cool part was the end. Since you really don't understand what is going on in this movie until the end, you(well, I did) seem to lose intrest because you could careless what is going on because you don't understand why it is happening in the movie. But after seeing the end, my thoughts changed a little bit, and I found I liked it more because I actually then knew what was happening completly. Don't get me wrong, the acting is good, and it keeps you riveted. I would't buy this movie, only rent it. A good movie all and all.[/color]

Ok, lately I haven't been writing as much as I usually do, but here is a poem. It's ok, sometimes I just don't feel like writing for long periods of time, then I just write crazily once I get in the mood. Well, here's the poem. The Chance [color=red]Come with me my young traveler to the place few can see the place where the corruption is covered up and the real world is revealed the real world hidden from those blinded by their own self-indulgences blinded to those who are corrupt themselves to those who only want the world as the way it is those people, they will be our downfall the world will only waste away like sand slipping through a hand until only a few specs are left and all is gone forever but if you can open your eyes see the world without such an awkward stance you can see through that corruption accept the dying chance and become more that which can see but that which can do and stand up for the future and embrace your rights[/color] Comments?

[color=red]well, you can use any of mine of your choosing if you would like here's one Eye Soul Within everyone's eyes there is a story of the times within everyone's eyes you can see a glimpse of individuality an understanding of them deep down inside their minds within everyone's eyes you can see a sparkle of intuition from the core you can see the plagues paining the kindness shinning the eyes truly are a view into the soul and that view only seems to grow the longer you know someone and then grows to be so much more when you look into someone's eyes, it just seems so easy to emphasize view their mind in understanding declare but still yet not know enough to pursue a curiosity of their emotion try to understand their deep ocean our eyes are only an impression an impression of only a view of a mask the rest is hidden away until that mask is pierced then the real person is shown deep under that mask You can tell them my name or whatever I don't care. Or, you can use the one on my signature, that one is much shorter and (probably) easier to remember. It's your choice.[/color]

[color=red]My school has Macintosh IMACS and they [b]SUCK[/b], they always run really slow and I just don't like them. If I were you I wouldn't get a Mac at all if uou can get a Windows instead, I just prefer Windows. Also, Linux is pretty nice to (mainly because it is free).[/color]

[color=red]When you're bored huh? Well, I crank up some tunes, like System of a Down or Linkin Park, turn in my Super Nintendo, and play Final Fantasy III, which is the best game ever. Or I will pull out a Stephen King book, The Stand is my favorite, but right now I am reading Needful Things. Or I will write some poems. Or (this is the last thing I would do...) sleep...[/color]

[color=red]Eye Soul Within everyone's eyes there is a story of the times within everyone's eyes you can see a glimpse of individuality an understanding of them deep down inside their minds within everyone's eyes you can see a sparkle of intuition from the core you can see the plagues paining the kindness shinning the eyes truly are a view into the soul and that view only seems to grow the longer you know someone and then grows to be so much more when you look into someone's eyes, it just seems so easy to emphasize view their mind in understanding declare but still yet not know enough to pursue a curiosity of their emotion try to understand their deep ocean our eyes are only an impression an impression of only a view of a mask the rest is hidden away until that mask is pierced then the real person is shown deep under that mask[/color] I suppose I should add my poems to a single post, but I feel that some more people will be attracted to my poetry if I post a title that maybe they will find interesting. I wrote this yesterday, when I was in a very pensive mood. So, comments?

[color=red] Hypocrisy The hypocrisy of his mind it seems he will never find known to all except himself corrupting all he tries to be holding true to all he sees the hypocrisy is there like a flaw inside his tear bringing stress upon those he holds true concocting into that leathal brew it poisons deep within rooting upon him creating mortal sin the hypocrisy controls his very being yet he is unkowing to what he is that hypocrisy so deep within The Chains These chains upon my arms bending me to their will keeping me so still I just want to break them crackle them into fragments of distaste make them into nothing but ignorant waste rebel upon its very face break from its dispicable control become my very own soul find myself in these broken chains the chains of all my neverending pains they force me away from all my dreams making everything never be but someday someday I will break from thosse chains be rid of their unbearable embrace SunShine The sunlight shines upon my eyes burning lies so deep inside my crys covering up my wrongs inn deep ashes of hate breaking evils of endless create the sunlight cleanses wounds of exit deep down in the endless pits of remorse bringing light of a new day washing away all the hate and pain enclosing its self deep inside my soul that hurt and pain goes into my endless whole becoming but another problem deep inside deep inside my complex self just waiting to replace the mercy of my heart the sunlight shines bringing hope upon these eyes [/color] ...wrote these last weekend and this week. Comments?

The point of the poem is set out greatly, and the execution isn't to bad. If I were you I would submit it to one of the poetry sites.

[color=blue]lol, the blue line :). I don't know why I put it there, now that I think of it...not really any reason...lol...well, I suppose I will post a few on poetry.com, I also plan to send them to [url]www.otakupoetry.com[/url] if I get to it.[/color]

Well, when I posted errors, someone said I rhymed to little, well, I suppose I will try to rhyme less, thanks for all the comments, I appreciate them alot.

Yeh, I was going for a kind of mystery feel, I kind of do it with most of my poems, it just makes people seem to want to reread a poem and gain more understanding of it.

Clouded Concentrate [color=red]My mind seems so clouded everything's so crowded I try to concentrate my feelings only escalate my head's so dissorganized nothing can seem to emphasize I try to understand myself nothing can seem to help I try to narrow my thinking to only one thing and it only leads to less of anything the stress seems to have compete contol keeping me caged deep within my own soul it pulls deep upon me keeping me inside its magnetizing shell making me live through all this hell the sea of my own hate creating my very fate[/color] Wow, I like it. So what are your comments?

I take her replies with dignity, I was just saying poems don't have to rhyme. Also, I am not a woman, I am a guy.

[color=red]Deep Thought[/color] [color=green]I wander deep in thought[/color] [color=red]remembering things long forgot[/color] [color=green]feelings converge in perpendicular fits[/color] [color=red]curving all to one slit[/color] [color=green]I reach deep inside[/color] [color=red]seeing life from within my mind[/color] [color=green]a treasure cove of finds[/color] [color=blue]all the boxes marked with signs[/color] [color=red]I dig deep into all those vines[/color] [color=green]conversing into my own self[/color] [color=red]looking on shelf upon shelf[/color] [color=green]seeing the great valley of sacred secrets[/color] [color=red]only there for the keeper[/color] [color=green]suddenly it all blurs[/color] [color=red]collapsing in unknown slurrs[/color] [color=green]I return to my own strife[/color] [color=red]the entrance of my life[/color]

Here's what I have to say to you: poems don't have to rhyme

Errors The error of our ways it seems to stain the inside of our veins creating wounds unknown to the dead weighing upon us our intuition feeding into our ignition seemingly inevetible upon our minds twisting and turning in without a sign it burns inside like scar festering until we are small impairing our senses in rythmical dispense inflicting upon our mortal innocence like a burning nonsense it bears its will upon our chest

[color=green]Street Walk[/color] [color=red]I walk on down a street, a stranger lost in the land of laws searching through all of life's flaws trying to piece myself together glue it all into one embarking on this great quest, I try to do my best but, all I can see is less even at my best just like all the rest, I walk on down the street of neverending stress.[/color] Like it?????

Well, the thing is, I can never remember my dreams. I can remember maybe little parts but that's about it. Wonder how scary it would to actually be able to remember my dreams....

It is pretty good for a first poem. Just keep writning them and you will get better. That's what it's like for me. Every poem I write I get better. But, sometimes I get a block, and I can't write a poem worth a crap. And other times, I feel like writing so much and I get a good poem out.

Here's a poem I wrote a while ago [color=red]Soul Bottle[/color] [color=green]Bearing a hole in my soul deeper than hate, my anger dispels emotions impair It is uncontrollable, I can't just spoon it in like a little child, It eventually fills to the brim, filled with sin, full of evils, it explodes like a chain reaction overflowing in burning anger until all the sin is evaporated, and my soul is full.[/color] So what do you think? I have many more, i'll post more later.