Juu

[size=1]I still struggle with it - the cutting, pills, starving, bruising, degrading ... Perhaps this is why questioning is dangerous? 'Why should I be at peace with myself/why shouldn't I?' All I can say is that cutting puts me in a very strange place. Think of the psychological position one has to be to inflict injury on oneself. The default response of the brain is to avoid harm. The body doesn't like scrapes and bruises by default. ...but to counter the default. It's like a tree wanting to set itself on fire. Nobody understands, but then again, neither does it. [/size]

[size=1]I had a year-long addiction to cocaine at age 14. Yep. $10,000+ down the drain. I was to be a contestant in a pageant in two weeks for a scholarship award of $20,000. Hah. Imagine what else I could've done with that. The amount of books I could've bought, CDs, concert tickets, musical instruments/gear, countries I could've visited, ... people that could've been fed! At the same time, it killed my family when they found out around my 15th birthday after my third overdose. The first time, I agreed to attend outpatient rehab sessions if they kept to confidentiality. The second time, I stayed in bed unable to move, bearly breathe. Enough days passed for the substance to clear out of my system for me to pass it off as heart issues contributed by anorexia. Yeah. My life was a mess and I made it even more chaotic by choosing to get involved with a drug. Yes, certain drugs are both physically and mentally addicting, but people fail to realise exactly how strong their minds are. The capacity for the mind to make choices is far greater than we give it credit for. It's not just a downward spiral. I didn't believe it at the time. I felt so emotionally weak I didn't believe in myself at all. I was counting on the drug to kill me. After a few years' experience toying with drugs, I like to think I've 'grown out' of drugs. I think of them as a phase. They're just not that fun anymore. Like, 'been there, done that'. There's so much beauty to a sober world. When I was drowning in depression, the world seemed a really ugly place. I relied on drugs to make it seem more interesting, or to run away from reality because reality was so hard to face. But running away from problems doesn't solve them. Eventually those problems catch up, and you're stuck in the very same situation. Like procrastination. Bottom line, don't do drugs. It's a waste of time and money. Have fun that you'll actually remember having.[/size]

[size=1]Whatever floats their boat. Having control over our own bodies is one of the few rights we still have access to. If that crooked jaw is keeping them from smiling, let them fix it so something isn't holding them back. If they learn to love their uniqueness, great! They save a couple ten thousand bucks. But before, this wasn't available. If people hated something about themselves, they couldn't do anything about it so they had to live with it, whether they learned to like it or not. They were doomed without options, so to speak. Now if a certain feature truly feels unbearable to someone, they have the choice to change it. Just having the option there, I'm grateful for. People don't have to feel completely hopeless anymore. On the other hand, it's tragic people hate a certain trait enough, or are influenced so much by the media that they're willing to cough up so much money and dignity. [/size]

[size=1]I don't know if this counts, but I cannot live without tea. Green tea especially, but any herbal tea. And energy drinks ... like sugar-free red bull/rock star/monster/sobe. And fruit. I get really cranky if I don't have a piece of fruit in the morning ... which is never, because there hasn't been a single day for years when our house hasn't had fresh produce. [/size]

[size=1]According to peers, I have a really cold exterior. I seem serious and elitist, and partially they're right. I do have a very pessimistic outlook on people and find it rather difficult to trust people enough to invest relations with. But actually I'm really silly and not serious at all. I'm easy-going and I laugh a lot more at myself than anything else. I make corny jokes about everything and tell my friends to chill out and give themselves a break. Teachers/elders, on the other hand, usually don't fancy me at first. I don't dress like a straight-edge kid (everything's black), I'm in a band, they see me smoking cigarettes (which, after three years, I've quit since last week), I don't sit up half the time in classes, I groan about the homework, show up late, never admit to studying, etc. But as soon as we get a writing assignment and actually listen to the questions I'm asking, I become their favourite and they trust me. Certain teachers take longer than others. Some never get past my image. But I like speaking to teachers between classes because they're older. They've seen a lot more and some of them are actually passionate about what they teach and have a lot of contagious passion to ignite in me as well. I have a lot of respect for those teachers and I keep in touch with them and spoil them with gifts. In the end, though, it's all about compatibility. If someone's judgment holds them back from getting to know me, I've learnt that it's best to shrug it off, figure they're missing out (at least, rather than the other way around), and forget about them. I don't have any enemies because of that mentality. Even with former friends, we just realise our differences over time and drift away/cut off the relationship. People who decide to make assumptions about me before they get to know me, I never care much about, so I never hear what they say about me. They can talk all they want because what they think they know isn't of any importance to what I am. [/size]

[size=1] I spend a lot of time researching what's typically regarded as 'psuedoscience' ... examples being astrology, ancient Egypt, water, string theory, UFOs, the bermuda triangle, perpetual motion ... so on. But also a lot of science in general. I guess being a nerd can be embarassing, but they're definitely hobbies? My friends and I like to pretend to be tourists around our city. Just spend entire days out with designated nationalities. I live in San Francisco, so it's fun to give other people a laugh by asking 'which way is the statue of liberty/the world trade centre/effiel tower/chicago/etc' in terribly obnoxious accents. We probably look like idiots, but that's the point. I take myspace pictures sometimes. I read a lot of tabloid/fashion magazines ... and tear out photos and plaster my walls with them ... I'm sure there's more, but that'll do for now.[/size]

[size=1]Fascinating seeing how much people have changed over a few years ...[/size] [img]http://otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=26334&d=1185336217[/img] [img]http://otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=26335&d=1185336252[/img][img]http://otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=26336&d=1185336262[/img]

[size=1]On one hand I believe that humans as individual physical beings aren't nearly as important as we like to think we are. However, on the other hand, the emotional, intellectual capacity of a person is so open-ended and complex that we feel the need to make footholes in a whirlpool of questions that we can't just dip our toes into. Because of this, I don't think there's exactly a 'reason' we were 'put here' but moreso it's a question of 'what we do during our stay here'. Not what we change or create, but what we learn. Earth is still a pretty young planet, but it obviously isn't going to last forever. So my theory is, me not knowing whether I'll get hit by a bus tomorrow morning, just to appreciate the beauty in everything here while I can. Just to learn as much and not have anything to regret. By 'learn' it doesn't mean academically/professionally, but I guess... morally. In a way to discover oneself... I just like to think of the physical body as a shell- like a shuttle-type thing that lets my soul 'visit' this planet in the environment it provides, that can use resources like oxygen and adapt. Then when my time's up and I move on this shell's no longer needed since I'll be off exploring somewhere else. Something like that. Language itself is a barrier when trying to express issues like this, I guess.[/size]

[quote name='Nomura']4)Vote for Pedro(LOL)[/quote] Who's Pedro? I've asked several people wearing 'Vote for Pedro' shirts who he is and I don't think a single one has given me a response... I guess I'm the only one. anyway. Believing that free speech is truly an unalienable right is naive, if you ask me. As much as it's stated as a right in many countries, those with the authority to can censor enough to make people see what the the point of view they want them to see/believe.

[size=1]Episode III was a huge improvement from the last two... Everything was intensified, but the love scenes really spoiled some good moments. The lines were painfully cheesy, but I think there's always been one or two odd lines in each film. I was hoping to see Qui-Gon... which we didn't. And all this time I thought Palpatine told Anakin that Obi Wan had killed Padme. It was amazing, though. I saw the special screening Wednesday evening as well. Did anyone else get a lightsaber spoon? >>;[/size]

[size=1]Why not? But I think it's moreover lust than love...[/size]

[size=1]My parents are buying me a motorbike instead of a car. I'm happy. [/size]

[size=1]I run two miles every other day... or at least power-walk three miles every other day because cardio's what gets rid of tummy flab. Today I ran an 8 mile marathon and still ran to the car. I don't feel comfortable eating if I don't burn at least some of it.[/size]

[size=1]I hate phones, full stop. And seeing as I only answer them 1/4 of the time, I just choose the least annoying one. It's a bit rediculous to me to have to pay to set it to a song I'll hate within a week... Ironically, my dad bought me a $200 mobile phone for Valentines. >_____>;;[/size]

[size=1]shopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshopshop !! Hell yes. And since I hate seeing someone wearing the same thing as me at school and around town, I love shopping overseas. Japan is the better fabric outthere fashion mecca version of Korea. Which is the equvilent to heaven. Lucky I'm already officially booked to go there summer of '07. =] And I know how to speak basic Japanese, along with 'I don't know how to speak [insertlanguagehere]' in many other languages. ._.; [/size]

[size=1]I think petite girls are gorgeous. It sucks being in the normal range. =( *wants to be taller sooo bad* Ooh, 5'8'' and 118. 10lbs to go. =][/size]

[QUOTE=Retribution][SIZE=1]Urg. So [I]you[/I] were one of them who ate the food, took up space, and hogged the view of MY CITY's cherry blossoms? Haha. "If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?" I'm sure you've seen this quote on a bumper sticker before. It mimics my feelings exactly. As for people watching, they do provide ample entertainment. Walking through the crowd, jostling them as they glance at their city map and try to make out where they are. Every now and then, at appropriate intervals, my friends and I let out a "I hate tourists..." and proceed to grumble. The reaction is always different. ^_^[/SIZE][/QUOTE] [size=1]Well, seeing as half of San Francisco speaks broken English, it's hard to tell. It's fun pretending to be tourists, though. I'll go to one of my hometowns and ask random people where random places are and see if they know where it is. I don't know where that famous building in San Francisco is. I mean, I can walk to the best spot to see the Golden Gate from, buuuuut I don't even know what that building is called! Same deal with my friends who've lived here a bit longer than I have [three years]. Touring your own city can be interesting, though. Just to see how boringly your own city's represented... Hmm. And I swear I kicked myself in the *** for confusing London Bridge with Tower Bridge when I lived in Paddington for four months. ._. [/size]

[QUOTE=Raid3r]My sincere apologies to those people whose fonts are so... [i]stylish[/i] that I was unable to read them, my post does not concern you. As I scanned the "deep" thoughts that some of you offered, I was struck by one titillatingly obvious thought, (I admit it isn't very deep), these quotes, generally speaking, are the sorts of things that people find on cereal boxes. And once you've found a cereal box quote, you sot of want to hush it up, not use it for a while, you know? Then you can slowly reintroduce it in your conversation, maybe only one idea at a time for the longer cereal box quotes, or a word or two for the shorter. Unfortunately, one begins to build a reputation for cleverness, and to use a cereal box quote "it is better to be cleverer than you appear". Once this rep, this "street cred" is established, your peers call on you to perform it time and time again. I have news for you, there are only so many cereal boxes. But alas, I am being unfair to the quotes themselves. They are not quotes at all, but merely words taken from the mouths of unsuspecting people, and stamped onto cereal boxes and into the pages of curmedgeons and poetry books. The ideas may be true, but in the shallow, and again I speak generally, way these ideas are thrown about, they become so cheap that a bowl of fruit loops has greater redeeming value. My point with all of this being that one should never attempt to cultivate a legend, or air of mysteriousness with cereal box quotes. The best way to achieve "mysterious" or "wise" status, is by only speaking when you've got a nailer. All ye of cereal box quote kingdom: listen much, speak less. and think not.[/QUOTE] [size=1]Sorry mate. Perhaps we should start a stupidity thread to suit your needs? [/size]

[quote name='Pumpkin][FONT=verdana][SIZE=1] Pff. North California rules. I love the summer, it rains too much in the winter, how I would love for it to snow up here once in awhile. What I wouldn't do for some snow, but nope just fogg and rain. Bah. I love being in the sun, especially since ice cream always tastes so much better in the summer. Think of that...ice cream...mmmm...yea..living in cali is the good life. [/font'][/size][/quote] [size=1]We should meet up some time. :D [/size]

[QUOTE=Retribution][SIZE=1]Let me start off my post with a nice, warm [B]I hate tourists.[/B] I mean, who doesn't? They flock to your city, act annoying, lack courtesy, clog up all your spots you want to hang out at, and make life miserable. [/QUOTE][/size] [size=1]! I adore tourists, but probably because I travel 6-8 times a year. People-watching is great. [/size]

[size=1]Best comedy I've ever seen, hands down. ^___^ That bit where he was challenging all the people to a 1-on-1 was priceless. And then there was that bit of throwing knives and cobras. My gut hurt so much the rest of the day after seeing that. Now I want to see Shaolin Soccer again. ...And this film. I'm dragging my friends to see it for my birthday, and most of them have seen it already as well. Trust me, it's totally worth it. I'm veryvery nitpicky about films, especially comedies, but don't let the title fool you. Just because it's a slapstick about kung fu doesn't mean it's anywhere near that piece of shite Kung Pow. Ick. I'm seeing it a second time, and yet film tickets here are $11. Oh and the trailers are crap. They're to blame for my expectations being REALLY low at first, and the first fifteen minutes are cheesy - but you've got this huge grin on your face the entire time. Then the 'gang' goes to pig sty and from there it gets hilarious. It ended kinda fast, though. Good times, anyway. [/size]

[QUOTE=Chaos]Passover. Yes. Let's celebrate the miasmic slaughter of hoards of Egyptian boys. Horray. [Though I'm not much better, I plan on having a party on August sixth.] And I'm posting basically to explain the reason for Passover. ...But I don't feel like going into detail. On topic, I'm not doing anything special. Just school, chillin', and probably going on a little drinking purge this weekend.[/QUOTE] [size=1]Hmm. Never thought of it like that. o_o; But doesn't purge mean to vomit? If I feel a binge coming on, I have a diet coke...?[/size]

[QUOTE=Shinmaru]Yeah, that was at Anime Expo last year. We were running to a different room, and then I spotted The Dark Lord of the Sith and made my sister take a picture of Darth and I. Getting a picture with someone who looked like Natalie Portman would be pretty great, though. :([/QUOTE] [size=1]Haha. I think I've got the picture lying around in one of my CDs. I just took it of her and the troopers, though. It'd have been quite a feat to be able to stand next to someone just thaaaat pretty. ._.; Oh yeah, and my dad and I were supposed to have dinner with Arnold Schwkasjdlksajd... our governatohr and this Korean ambassador, lol. Buuuut we'll be in Amsterdam having dinner with the mayor or someone important along that line. I'm glad we don't have to, actually. [/size]

[QUOTE=Shinmaru]I met Tony Hawk at a skating exhibition that my cousin wanted to go to. As far as celebrities go, though, nothing will top this... [img]http://shinmaru.250free.com/MyLordAndMaster.JPG[/img] :cool:[/QUOTE] :rotflmao: [size=1]Was that at Anime Expo? At the '03 one, there was a girl dressed as Padme with two storm troopers. She was like, identical to Natalie Portman...[/size]

[quote name='Shinmaru']That's exactly how I feel. I hate California's summers because it's very hot and very dry. I love our winters, though, because they're as close to perfect as weather will ever get.[/quote] [size=1]In San Fran, the summers are still pretty cold... like around 50 degrees-ish. Just fifteen minutes out of the city and it's blazing, though. It was incredibly bizarre on our drive down to LA last-last summer. In SF it was 47 degrees, we were in our air conditioned car the entire ride, and the second I step out, it's like I've stepped into another country. >_>[/size] [QUOTE=Shinmaru]That's exactly how I feel. I hate California's summers because it's very hot and very dry. I love our winters, though, because they're as close to perfect as weather will ever get. EDIT: Clarification: I hate Southern California's summers. I guess that Northern California just slipped my mind, because I usually ignore it totally. :p[/QUOTE] [size=1]Well, Northern Cali loves you too. :p [/size]