The Unholy Newt

[i]With no other choice, Troy activated the Improbability Drive. Suddenly, Hairy's ship turned into a bowl of semi-intelligent azalias and randomly transported him to several places at once. Meanwhile, back on the ship, they had reached the local mob boss, Al Caponolopolisarakkatakkamart. After paying the fee for protection and a illegal business license, the group departed to go HQ shopping. Eventually they found a nice place in the south quarter of the city which had a seperate office for each of them. Placing the robot as a bouncer out the front, they got to business. They placed all the stolen cookies in the top secret vault that had come with the place and start hiring all the people they'd need; janitors, hired goons, secretaries and other basic staff they'd need to set up an illegeal cookie racqueteering business.[/i]

[i]During the confusion, Troy picked up the cookie salesman and threw him out the door and told Hairy to fetch. Obeying, Hairy sped out the door after the cookie salesman.[/i] "Quick, let's get out of here!" [i]Grabbing Rae and Skye, Troy ran out to his spaceship to discover it surrounded by Intergalactic Policemen. Before they noticed them, they ran off to see the local mob boss for protection and a license to set up their stolen cookie raquet.[/i]

[i]The priest looks over slightly annoyed at Siren.[/i] Priest: I do not have to back up my words. As the High Priest all that comes from my mouth is truth. If you don't believe then may you be damned. [i]The adventurers deciding to take this day to discuss their course of action, retire to a meeting chamber close to their rooms allocated by the High Priest. Enialis rises and removes his hood. Many shocked gasps are heard as his race is revealed. Ignoring the shock, Enialis speaks.[/i] Enialis: As thou have all heard, a quest most noble has been placed before us. I . . . Raquel: (Cutting him off) That should certainly exclude you, [i]Drow[/i] Rae: Quiet and let the man speak. Enialis: I thank thee. I believe that as the task hath been placed before us, so should we take it. Some of us may not believe the Priest's story as credible ([i]glances at Raquel[/i]) but as he hath said, the word of the High Priest is the truth. I shall leave at the break of dawn. All who wish to undertake this quest I bid you to join me at the stables before the sun arises. I bid thee good night. [i]Enialis retires to his room and leaves the others to discuss[/i]

[i]Troy saw in the strange looking office, a psychotic red head, yelling at a cookie salesman.[/i] "WHO WROTE FUNKY ON THIS COOKIE!!!!" she screamed. "I . . . I don't . . . know, I swear!" he replied nervously. "Get out, before I do something painful with a pencil to you." [i]She looked over at the three and seemed to recognise Rae.[/i] "Hi," . . .

[i]Troy, now an accomplice in the Cookie Thieving Incident, unwillingly followed the strange six year old to her stash of Golden Cookies.[/i] "Why are you showing me this?" Troy asked. "You looked kinda hungry," she replied simply. [i]Upon hearing this, Troy and the little girl started to wolf down the Golden Cookies. Moments into the feast, the sound of sirens could be heard.[/i] "Oh no, It's the Intergalactic Police. We have to go, now," said Rae. [i]Stashing as many Golden Cookies into their bags as possible, Rae, Troy and the Nameless Robot, ran out of the spaceship, into the city Troy's ship had been docked in. For some miraculous reason, Troy suddenly found that he was holding a Kill-O-Zap Gun in his hand. Just what he needed, more evidence against him.[/i] "C'mon, I know someone who can hide us," Rae said, dragging Troy through a door into some unknown persons office. . .

RANDOM QUOTE FROM THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY! None is as strange and inexplicable as the rules of the game, Brockian Ultra-Cricket, as played by the higher dimensions. A full set of rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together in a single volume, they underwent gravitational collapse and became a Black Hole. A brief summary, however, is as follows: RULE ONE: Grow three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused RULE TWO: Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player. Clone him off a few times. This saves an enourmous amount of tedious player selection and training. RULE THREE: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall around them. The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what's going on, leads them to imagine that it's a lot more exciting then it really is. A crowd that just watched a humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation that a crowd that believes it has missed the most dramatic event in sporting history. RULE FOUR: Throw lots of assorted sporting equipment over the wall for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with. RULE FIVE: The players should now lay about themselves for all they're worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a 'hit' on another player, he should immediately run away and apologise at a safe distance. Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone. RULE SIX: The winning team shall be the first team that wins. Curiously enough, the more the obsession with the game grows in the higher dimesnsions, the less it is actually played, since most of the competing teams are in a state of permanent warfare with each other over the interpretation of these rules. This is for all the best, because in the long a run a good solid war is less psychologically damaging than a protracted game of Brockian Ultra-Cricket.

[i]Obviously too impatient, the High Priest of Heironius begins to speak.[/i] Priest: Since the others are too lazy to be on time, we shall begin now and the others can get the information off you. As you all know, we are at a time of great unrest. The supernatural forces rule the lands outside of the Dun Empire. But never have we thought such a great catastrophe could happen in our fair city of Dun Olvar. The four known as the Horsemen of the Apocalypse have broken into the great Temple Vaults and have spirited away a priceless artifact, The Book of the Living. With this, the Apocalypse will be brought upon us much sooner than prophesised. And also with the power of that book, Asmodeus, the Lord of the Nine Hells, can use it against our Great Heironius to defeat him. We must have that book. Your task is to retrieve it from the Four and dispose of them. Their Stronghold in the Gan nation, on our eastern border, should hold the book. Travel there and retrieve it. Good Luck. Enialis: Now that is a rather heavy reality to be put on a man so early in the morning . . .

No, it's fine. Just as long as you aren't away for ages. I'm in no hurry to start so we can wait a little longer. ~TUN I'm a junior member now by the way. This is my 250th post

Making RPGs is a hobby of mine. And FF is awesome. I have tonnes of wacky and normal ideas you could incorprate into it. So if you want me, I'm in.

[i]After enjoying the wonders of terrorizing minority religions, Troy decided to go eat some cookies. He walked into the ship kitchen, to have a choc chip feast. To his horror he discovered the cookie jar lying open and cracked on the floor. Quickly he ran to the interstellar communication device, or telephone if you will, to ring Hairy Mclairy.[/i] "Hairy, It's Troy. No my nasal hairs have not been clogging up the furnace again. It's more serious. That's right. Someone's stolen the cookie from the cookie jar."

My real name is David William Luke Murphy. But everyone just calls me Dave. So you people can call me that too. At least it is better than Newt Boy. Um, David means beloved in Hebrew. I don't know what the other three mean. William is English or Scottish, something around that area. Murphy is pretty obvious that it is Irish. And I think Luke (My confirmation name) is Hebrew as well.

I will start the RPG when Harlequin comes back on. So after school finishes. So people who are impatient. TOO BAD!! ~TUN

I would like to take this point in time to remind you, oh Cloricus who is never wrong, that double posting is an out and out no no. *fhwaps Cloricus around the head with a Holy Mackerel* That's a bad Cloricus!

[i]Troy opened the door and entered the bridge. "I hate my life. Opening this door has made it worse," droned the door unhappily. The door to the bridge used to be cheerful, until it had a mental breakdown and decided life wasn't worth living. Unfortunately, being a door made it difficult to commit suicide. Frab and Gnarak were arguing as usual, what they were arguing about was a different matter. Troy often wondered why he had ended up with these two insane extra terrestrials, but they were no crazier than his friends back on Earth, or what was Earth. For no apparent reason, he suddenly felt a grieving because he had never tasted tofu. Upon rethinking however, he decided that probably was a good thing. He also felt a craving for a double mochalattecino. Unfortunately the galley on the ship could only make single mochalattecinos. Which were, as everyone knows, too disgusting to poke with a 12 foot long Silastic Armorfiend of Striterax antannae. With nothing else to do, Troy gazed out the window of the ship to discover a Cult of the Tarrasque priest about to knock at the airlock. Moments before the fanatic could touch his tentacle to the steel door, he was blasted with discarded single mochalattecino. Which, they discovered was a good fanatic deterent. Troy laughed as the cultist floated away screaming, or at least attempting to scream as he was in a vacuum. "It's the simple pleasures in life that really count." he thought.[/i]

Characters The Unholy Newt - Enialis Lady Asphyxia - Raellyra Deedlit - Elysan Bremma - Jarven FF7 Vincent - Drake {Angel}Healer - Drak'kon Carren Heart - Aven User Name - Farook Raquel - Siren Everyone (Except {Angel}Healer) will get 240 gold pieces to spend on stuff [Crazy Abdul's Discount Arms & Armour Shoppe] Weaponry Crossbow (10 Bolts) 35 GP Crossbow Bolts 1 GP (10 Bolts) Shortsword 10 GP Battle Axe 10 GP Longsword 15 GP Rapier 20 GP Scimitar 15 GP Warhammer 12 GP Falchion 75 GP Great Axe 20 GP Greatsword 50 GP Great Club 5 GP Shortbow 30 GP (20 Arrows) Longbow 75 GP (20 Arrows) Arrows 1 GP (20 Arrows) Armour (Since I'm a generous person, {Angel}Healer gets a suit of Leather Armour since he has no mula) Leather -Plain 10 GP -Studded 25 GP Chain 150 GP Breastplate 200 GP Plate -Half 600 GP -Full 1,500 GP If anyone wants Plate Armour, looks like they've got some saving up to do. ---------------------------------------- [i]Enialis buys a Falchion, a Longbow and a suit of studded leather, leaving him with, 75 GP[/i] [i]As Enialis passed under the gates of Dun Olvar, he pulled the hood of his cloak further over his head, to help conceal his drow lineage. He always felt uncomfortable in small settlements, so this metropolis of the continent was like a second hell to him. He carefully studied each faced he paced, looking for signs of racial recognition. The look of shock and fear as they realised what he was. But, no one noticed. He thought the Clan Elder was insane when he instructed him to travel to the capital. Apparently the apocalypse was coming and he was to be a part of the group stopping it. He made his way to the High Temple of Heironius (Basicall God in D&D Deities) He spoke the password and was directed to the High Priest.[/i] High Priest: Ah, Enialis is it? Join me for a drink. The others should be arriving shortly

[Name] Troy Fickelbruberanasthetistalomba [Race] Human [Age] 25 [Description] Short brown hair with bleached tips. Wears a lot of black. Mainly long black trenchcoats and combat boots. [Towel] Mostly blue with purple polka-dots. At each end is a scottie dog. One black with a red bow. And the other white with a green bow. Plus various coloured stains. [Towel Colour Guide] Blue - Coffee Purple - Choc Chip Biscuit Black - Coke Red - Tomato Sauce White - Anti-Depressants Green - Cheeseburger [Bio] Escaped from Earth before it's destruction when picked up by a stray experimental Improbability Field ship while hitch-hiking in France. Ship occupied by two humanoids, Frab Cal and Gnarak Lloyd. After travelling with them, became a roving researcher for "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" [Mission] Go crazy Watch out for random quotes from "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in my posts. I'm sure you'll find them useless and annoying. Here's one to get you uninterested. "The best way to pick a fight with a Silastic Armourfiend of Striterax, is simply to be born. They didn't like it, they got resentful. And when a Silastic Armourfiend got resentful, people got hurt." -Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy's Roving Reporter, Troy Fickelbruberanasthetistalomba.

That's fine with me. Your loss. And gain o.0

Okay that's it people. The 5 positions are filled so I'll start this up soon. You'll probably have a bit of waiting however as my other RPG holds a tad more priority at the moment since there are a lot more people to beat me up in that one If I don't hurry up and start it. So watch the Adventure Forum kids. This blatantly useless post was brought to you by The Unholy Newt. Stay tuned for, "When Dyslexic Agoraphobics in Wheelchairs Attack"

Sure Siren, join the party. But as for the cross-classing, I'd rather if you didn't. Anyway, a barbarian and a rogue kind of doesn't work. I never thought this RPG would be so damn popular. And Angel Healer . . . Ok, I'll make an exception. But only one weapon. And it's taken out of your starting gold. Bear with me people, I still have to smooth out the storyline and work on a few details, but the RPG should be up and running soon. - The Unholiest of The Kingdom of the Newts -

First thing Cloricus, I did not say she could not be in the RPG. Secondly, I'll tell you once and I'll tell you again. DON'T POST IN MY THREADS!!! Also it is up to the thread starter to decide if someone can be in their RPG anyway. And I didn't say that they weren't in different colours back then, I was stating the fashion. So, looks like you're in the wrong again. And fine, go with the cherry reds.

Cloricus how many times do I have to tell you, if you aren't going to sign up, don't post in my threads!! Damn this got a lot of replies. I notice we have a few D&D players. Excellent. And Bremma, you are supposed to buy them at the start. So Rae, you shouldn't have stuff yet. OK, here's my character. Name: Enialis Race: Drow (Dark Elf) Character Class: Rogue Alignment: Chaotic Neutral (Sympathetic to Evil) Description: Long black hair tied at the nape of the neck. A long black cloak is fasten at the neck with a onyx brooch with silver edging. Beneath wears a green tunic and dark brown leggings. Has piercing dark grey eyes and a hardened face. Spells: - History: Raised in a small housing community by a couple of elves who found him abandoned near their homestead. However he was driven from the community by the other folk at an early age when his dark heritage was discovered. He made his way to the capital of Dun Olvar where he made his away as a common pick pocket, apprenticed to an aged criminal. I'm accepting no more entries. Watch the RPG Forum for it soon. . .

? (o.0) You post made a whole lot of sense Rae. But I'll give a decent run of the mission at the start of the RPG. Basically it is a beat the bad guy one. What I want is - Name: Race: Character Class: Alignment: Description: Spells: (If Applicable) History:

I don't care about long hair, that is fine with me. Just no bright shirts. And the docs have to be black.

Bright coloured anything was not a part of the fashion anywhere near New Orleans and especially the New Orleans Police Force. We are talking about the most gothic city in America here. I'll make you a deal. I'll let you in my RPG if you don't dress like a hippie and wear normal clothes of the era and area.

You cannot wear Docs, they haven't been invented yet. And you are a member of the police force, not a participant in a martigra (or however you spell it)