Lady Asphyxia

[font=Arial][size=2]I like it, Mitch. I think using the mathematics terms was a really clever way to do things -- especially the use of the absolute value. I could see it in word/print, where you've probably replaced 'does not equal' with the does not equal sign, and I particularly like the ending, just for it's strong poetical standing. I think this is a really original way to do things, Mitch. I'm impressed. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]I really like this piece, Adahn. I like the fact that you've chosen not just big moments -- like a fight -- but also little ones -- like being bottle fed -- to include. It gives it a sense of reality and it makes it more relative to the reader. The only thing that kind of annoys me [and yet I can't see any other way] is that you end each paragraph in almost exactly the same way. What's funny is that I don't think it could end any other way, and yet...mmm. [Just a side note; 4th paragraph, two 'landed's. ^.~] I really love the ending and the last paragraph. The struggle of a man who can't remember who he is really gets me. And then -- whether you meant to or not -- the implication that Jason won't wake up from this sleep is very powerful. A nice piece. I'm really liking it. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]I don't know how I'm going to say this without it coming out harshly, so I'm just going to be honest and then try to explain it. I know that you value honesty. Having been aqquainted with Fight Club about two days previous to having seen this, it's remarkably fresh in my mind. While I liked fight club, and I do agree with Baron that it's quite stacatto, but I felt that this was -- well, here it is -- self-indulgent knock-offs. Like Baron, I think you got the tone of the movie quite well, but when I read this, all I could read from it was "I'm a writer and I've been rejected too many times and so I'm going to write this story where I'm better than the commercial world in order to get them back." The fact that both the stories are about rejecting the 9-to-5 world annoys me, and the fact that the narrator won shits me to tears. To me fight club was about the fact that, regardless of who won or lost, the adrenaline was running high at the time and they loved it. This I feel is just a way to certify to yourself that your writing is great. The fact that you've commented that it was 'A wonderful idea that [you] executed nicely' just further inforces my impression that it was almost purely self-indulgent. There's nothing wrong with being self-indulgent, not at all. I do it all the time. I just think you have to realise when you are crossing the line between empathising with the character and [i]being[/i] the character -- one side has faults, the other you are too close to the character to fault them. So, yeah. Tone-wise I think it's not badly done, but the message in it just annoys me. I think I would have preferred it if the other person had won. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]No, I don't think you understand what we're trying to say. If there are two main characters, it doesn't mean you can't focus on them. We still need to be able to know who they are, and what they think and what they look like and what they like. As Unborn Lord Xion said, make us care about your characters. Instead of just telling us that the character is doing something, tell us [i]why[/i] they are doing it. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Welcome to OB, Al-araaf. I strongly suggest you read the [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44313"]OB Anthology Basics[/url], as well as [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/rules.php?"]the rules[/url] and [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/faq.php?"]the FAQ[/url]. The OB Anthology Basics detail rules that are specific to OB Anthology, such as the ratings system. Every thread in OB Anthology must be rated for maturity. Any thread that is not rated will be closed. However, feel free to recreate this thread with the appropriate rating. ^_^ Thread Closed.[/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]I really liked it, Mitch. For all that you say it was hard to write a poem like this, I think it packs a punch. It's quite concise, I think, and it flows really magnificently. I love the last line: end and conjunction, just because and is a conjunction so I think it's a funny pun. :p But that's me. The reference to novas is really powerful, I think, because everyone knows what it is and knows the image they create, so I think that's a big thing in your poem, since it really lets the reader connect imagery to your poem. So yes, Mitch, I really quite like this poem. Well done. ^_^ [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Personally, I don't like the idea of mass-generated sympathy cards. If it were me, I'd just PM them and tell them how sorry you were, how much they are loved and how they will be able to get through this and be happy again, and that if they need you, you're there. It's much more personal, and I think your friend would really appreciate it. So I don't think it's really a necessary category, although I suppose it might be an idea. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Nomura, you [i]cannot[/i] forget to rate your threads, even this type. Please read the OB Anthology Basics, the Rules and the FAQ and apply them. As for this thread, I'd be very careful with it. The old 'I say a word, you say a word' was a shorter version of this game, and they were closed, mostly because it was spam. However, if you set rules in place (for example, a minimum length, what the thread is rated, and a basic storyline/idea to follow), then I would accept it. However, if you don't feel like doing that and still want to take part in an interactive thread [and this is directed toward both of you], I suggest you go to [url="http://otakuboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=46"]Adventure Square[/url], and sign up for an RPG in [url="http://otakuboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=48"]Adventure Inn[/url]. An RPG is where two or more people write a story together. They each play his/her own character, and the characters interact. You sign up in Adventure Inn. It's a great place to practice your writing and to enjoy an interactive experience with friends, too. ^_^ Thread Closed. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Guys, this kind of conversation can be held via PM. Interactive is when more than one person participates [or is mentioned in the story, too, I suppose]. There are a couple of 'interactive' threads on OB; for instance, Solo Tremaine's Enter the Net was a fantastic OB based story. I don't think, however, that catering to the masses will actually get you more reviews. Some times your stories just don't attract as many people as other stories. It isn't a bad thing, it's just the way it is. Personally, I don't really understand the story/characters. I'm assuming it's some sort of anime, so that could explain it. My suggestion is that, in order to improve it, you add more description -- what do the characters look like, how do they stand, how do they talk, what does your main character see, or feel, or smell, or touch -- all these things help to make a story better and more real for the reader. [/size][/font]

[QUOTE=Nomura]Uh oh...crazy blonde moment. hinting death, yet living as winter's scorn I know...it's not gonna work.. hauling...hauling winter's scorn...no...pulling...no... how 'bout hinting death, defining winter's scorn I'm just saying a couple of words that might not work(probably won't), but try them.[/QUOTE] [font=Arial][size=2] Nomura, while your suggestions were valid, in future [i]please[/i] try to make your posts more coherant. You have to remember that when we read your posts, we can't read your mind. Just clarify what you're saying in future, okay? ^.~ As for [[i]word[/i]] winter's scorn, I'm quite partial to [i]dealing[/i] winter's scorn. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Welcome to OB Anthology, discipleofkaos. I strongly suggest that you read the [b][url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44313"]OB Anthology Basics[/url][/b], which detail the ratings system that is in place in the forum. All threads in OB Anthology [i]must[/i] be rated for maturity, and any thread that is not rated will be closed. The good news is that you can re-create this thread with the appropriate rating. ^-^ Thread Closed.[/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]The Big Day Out 2006 (preliminary) Line Up has been released, and goes like this: [/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=2]The White Stripes Iggy and the Stooges Franz Ferdinand Kings of Leon The Mars Volta Soulwax AFI 2 Many DJs Sleater-Kinney The Magic Numbers The Living End Gerling Dei Hamo Magic Dirt Cut Copy End of Fashion Faker The Grates Youth Group Wolf & Cub [/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=2]Tickets are recommended to $130, but prices vary according to where you're buying them.[/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]For any Australians/New Zealand folks out there, the Big Day Out 2006 line up goes up tomorrow, the 5th of October. With that in mind, I'm wondering if anyone is planning to go and to which city? If you've been before, did you enjoy it and do you have any tips for newbies? Have you heard any rumours about the bands who will appear? [I myself have heard the Franz Ferdinand is almost certain -- I guess we'll find out tomorrow!] I'll post the list when it goes up, and you can talk about what bands you want to see most, etc, as well. [/size][/font]

[b][font=Arial][size=2][i]This has got to stop. [/i][/size][/font][/b][font=Arial][size=2]I can honestly say I have been patient about this. [b][url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=39763"]Numerous[/url][/b] [b][url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=38762"]threads[/url][/b] have been closed because of this incessant arguing. If they weren't closed,[url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=45953"] [b]it came very close[/b][/url]. I have read, very carefully, every post in this thread. I have to agree with Alan. Alex, your continual needling was out of line. Even when Mitch indicated that he was ready to end the debate, you continued. [quote][/size][/font] Originally Posted by [b]Mitch[/b] [i]Which is fine, I guess, but me personally, I like to be original; and that kind of kills some of the originality of it for me, I guess.[/quote][/i] [font=Arial][size=2] Rather than seeing this as Mitch trying to establish his individuality, it appears to me to be [b][i]quite obvious[/i][/b] that he was tempering his response. Considering the personal history the two of you share, this would be a natural move. Let me break it down for you. I'll even[color=Red] highlight [/color]the words that show how Mitch was attempting not to offend, to get across the fact that this was his own opinion: [quote][/size][/font]Which is fine, [color=Red]I guess[/color], but [color=Red]me personally[/color], [color=Red]I like[/color] to be original; and that kind of kills some of the originality of it [color=Red]for me[/color], [color=Red]I guess[/color].[/quote] [font=Arial][size=2] Now I am [b][i]sick[/i][/b] and [b][i]tired[/i][/b] of having to intervene in these situations. Alex, you are a 20-something college student. You are surely old enough to know when your opponent has thrown in the towel. Mitch offered you a review -- you didn't just ignore it, you [i]spat[/i] on it. [quote][/size][/font]Stop starting the vicious cycle and start posting relevant and meaningful reviews, rather than the tripe you did post.[/quote] [font=Arial][size=2] Perhaps the review wasn't minutely detailed, but it offered general, [i]relevant[/i][/size][/font][font=Arial] [size=2]opinions, and you should be grateful for that. In case you haven't already discovered, I am very angry. I [i]know[/i] that you two have been warned in the past. I [i]know[/i] that I have spoken to you on AIM about this -- or a related issue, at least, Alex. And I can [i]see[/i] that Mitch has retired from the lists, as such. This thread is closed. I don't want to see any of this again, do you understand me? You can comment on each other's works, certainly. You can even [i]reply[/i] to those reviews. But this back-and-forth, these caustic replies and scorn -- [b]they're over[/b]. There is a distinct lack of respect here. Get some. Thread Closed. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Thread that is not. Welcome to OB Anthology. I [b]strongly[/b][url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44313"]"OB Anthology Basics -- Read Before Posting"[/url][/size][/font][font=Arial][size=2] recommend that you read the thread titled that can be found at the top of OB Anthology. Inside there are details about the rating of threads, including the fact that every creative thread in this forum [b][i]must[/i][/b] be rated for maturity. Any thread that is not rated will be closed. You can, however, repost this thread with the appropriate rating. ^-^ Thread Closed. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Perhaps I wasn't really [i]clear[/i] on the double posting issue. Double posting is posting twice (or more) without someone posting in between. It's what you've just done, again. I'm going to close this thread, because while it had potential, it's not being fulfilled. In future, if you want to reply to a moderator message, either PM me or [i]edit your post[/i]. Thread Closed. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Unless you want a tattoo of words, this is in the wrong forum.;) I'm going to move this to the Art by Request forum, although syk3 may decide to put it in the Art forum. ^_^ Thread Moved.[/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Ah. Seen in the light of the situation, the poem becomes less ambigious and more emotive -- and more focussed. As a reader, not knowing the situation, I had no clue what was going on. As a reader now aware of the situation, there's a feeling of...affection, friendship and concern when I read it. Perhaps that's not what you intended, but that's what I get from it. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]I apologise, Mitch. I meant to get to this sooner. I've sent a PM, but I won't delete it, since you've already replied. I like that fact that your style has become simplified. Not long ago, it was very complex and just plain ol' confusing. You've slimmed it down and kind of cut the crap, which is fantastic. It's sleek and shiny now. [img]http://otakuboards.com/images/smilies/wink.gif[/img] The problem I still have with it is that it's...ambigious. It doesn't seem to have a direct focus and it doesn't draw enough emotion from me. I think, by focussing it more, it'll draw the reader in more. However, I'm pleased to see the development in your style. It's lovely. ^_^ [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Thread Moved to the Manga Forum. ^_^ -- Lady Asphy.[/size][/font]

[QUOTE=Revue][color=#c352ac][size=1]I think it's not the creator's fault alone, why threads do not live up to their ratings; it's the participants themselves who determine the [i]maturity[/i] of a story. I say a thread's rating should be decided after a number of posts into the game, when the creator has seen how the participants post. [/size][/color][/QUOTE] [font=Arial][size=2] It's only too possible to PM the moderator with the new rating once the thread is underway, if you decide your rating is not correct; if it's too low or too high. Believe me, we're only too happy to oblige. And frankly, I don't see people rating their threads M a problem at this point. What I'd be concerned about is people rating their threads too low-- E or PG when it should be M. That would negate the ratings system totally. This to me is more of a trivial matter; sure, it's not being correctly used and that isn't brilliant, but who is at a disadvantage? The people who want to avoid certain things can still do so, while the people who are over-rating their threads lose out. [quote][/size][/font] [font=trebuchet ms]I've always had this opinion about RPG's. You base your rating on what age group of people you want in it. [M] being 17+, [PG] being 13-17, and [G] being 12 and under.[/quote] [font=Arial][size=2] Considering that a lot [if not a majority] of people at OB are 17+, that's a pointless way to rate threads. In addition, the people I know between 13-17 are often fantastic writers. I agree that auditioning before the RPG is a good way of sorting out who you want posting; it's also a good way of measuring group dynamics to make sure you have a good group together. Anyone with a 'just in case' rating should reconsider. All they're doing is limiting their own readership. If you're having difficulty in deciding on the rating, my advice is this; re-read the ratings thread. Try to decide how high you RPG will (honestly) go. If you're still not sure, PM a moderator with the summary and your basic plan for the RPG and get them to suggest a rating -- believe me, I've rated more threads in the past year than people have [i]made [/i]in their entire time at OB. If at some point you feel you need to change the rating, for whatever reason, PM us and we'll do it. There's really no need for a 'just in case' rating. [/size][/font][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Welcome to OB Anthology, Cheese Master. I highly recommend that you read the [b][url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44313"]OB Anthology Basics[/url][/b], as well as the [b][url="http://otakuboards.com/rules.php?"]Rules[/url][/b] and [b][url="http://otakuboards.com/faq.php?"]FAQ[/url][/b] (if you haven't already done so). In the OB Anthology Basics, it details the ratings system that we currently have in place: every creative thread in OB Anthology [i]must [/i][/size][/font][font=Arial][size=2]be rated for maturity. Any thread that is not rated will be closed. [/size][/font][font=Arial][size=2] However, you can recreate this thread with the appropriate rating. ^_^ If you have any problems, feel free to PM me. Thread Closed.[/size][/font][font=Arial][size=2] [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Welcome to OB Anthology. What you may have missed is the [b][url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44313"]OB Anthology Basics[/url][/b], at the top of the Anthology forum. In it, it details specific rules for OB Anthology, including thread ratings. In OB Anthology, every thread with creative content must be rated for maturity. Any thread that is not rated must be closed. In future, please don't forget to rate your threads. You may feel free to re-create this thread with the appropriate rating. ^-^ Thread closed.[/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]The [E, PG, M]-hierarchy, as you call it, has nothing to do with age. E is is for 'everybody', it has nothing that people would want to avoid. PG has some themes/mild violence/suggestive themes/some adult language. M has explicit violence/language/sex scenes. The ratings have nothing to do with age. It's to do with people not wanting to see certain content. The subratings help by saying exactly what is included; perhaps there's violence but no sex. This helps someone who doesn't mind violence but is opposed to the idea of coming across sex in an RPG. This is the reason for ratings. It's mandatory for people because it makes it easy for readers to tell exactly what is involved in the story/RPG. Then they can avoid it by not entering it at all. Not everything a person wants to avoid is M. In addition, if something isn't a standard for everybody, it becomes a nuisance to enforce. Try explaning to a new member why [i]their[/i] thread must be rated while no one else's must. New members learn by example; if they don't read the board and forum rules, and they don't see anyone using ratings, how are they going to know they need to be used in cases of M ratings? By keeping it mandatory for people to use ratings in all cases, it creates fairness, and it makes it easy for people to know what they're getting into. As others have said, the problem isn't the ratings, it's the way people are using them. And frankly, people will be people no matter what we do. The reason I suggested the PG-13 is that it's quite widely recognised as a 'higher' version of PG, while not necessarily M level. Another name for the level would work just as well, however it would mean introducing it etc., while the PG-13 could generally just slide in there -- lots of people know it. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]$1.37/litre. $1.34/litre at cheap places. I live in a place where there [i]is no[/i] public transport. You want to get somewhere, you drive or you walk. Town is a good 30-45 minute walk away and public transport doesn't exist. My brother lives an hour and a half away -- something like 140 kms, I think -- at boarding school. Every time we need to pick him up to bring him home (for whatever reason), it's another $50 dollars (rounded, I think) on fuel. But what can we do? It's [i]worse[/i] in New South Wales, which, because of fuel tax, is generally about 10c dearer. Funny to think that a year ago it was about 79c/litre. Man, I miss that time.[/size][/font]