Lady Asphyxia

[size=1]Leh...at least tell him [i]how[/i] to space it out. Some people aren't as genius as you, you know. ^.~ Basically, Kai, in this lounge we prefer to read things in paragraphs, which is what Leh was getting at. It makes it easier for the reader to read -- which is a good thing. If it's easy to read, more people will want to read it. A new speaker should start a new paragraph, for instace, you could break up your story like this: [i]?Really? What can I help you with?? ?Some friends of mine have been kidnapped and I want to help me to get to where they are.? Swiftler nodded. ?So you want me to pilot you to the location of your friends?? Dangle smiled. ?Exactly!! Hey I like you already. Oh by the way my friends are called Ratchet and Clank.? ?Hey I heard about them. What?s happened to them anyway?? asked Swiftler. Dangle sighed, ?They have been kidnapped by Chairman Drek.?[/i] Oh. One thing I'd like to suggest is that when a sentence is finished in speech marks, i.e. [i]?Yep that?s me. Oh by the way Swiftler I need your help?.[/i] the full stop goes inside the speech marks. As for the writing itself, my main comment would be to have more description in the story. What do Swiftler and Dangle look like? How do they stand when they're speaking to each other? Where are their surroundings? Otherwise, great story. Well done. ^_^[/size]

[size=1][u]The Myth of Innocence[/u]. It's in the Draco Ginny fandom. As yet, there isn't much to do with the past life, but it's...complicated, to say the least. I've decided to write it as a third person narrative. I'm not sure how to explain that. I was thinking perhaps I'd write the story as a third person narrative, but in the next chapter have Ginny consider what the book said -- and it's in the form of articles, or something. But that seems messy to me, too. I think maybe I'll write it as a sort of true-story narrative. And perhaps Ginny doesn't realise that it's non-fiction [or is actually a true story -- would it be considered non-fiction?] until she's actually sent to investigate the history of this person, about 4 chapters later. Would that work?[/size]

[size=1]Heh, I would have posted it if I could, but it's too long to post -- currently 8 chapters. Regardless, it's actually quite unimportant to the part of the story I'm trying to do. Basically, the main character comes across this book and starts to read it. Unbeknownst to her, it's actually talking about her past life. Now, the story of this woman's life is told in one chapter, under the guise of a book. The problem I have with journals [and letters, too] is that it's too 'I' involved. You only get the limited perspective of one person, and often it isn't enough to tell the story. I was thinking perhaps to just tell the story in flashback/book sort of thing, where the main character is reading about her past life -- in biography form -- and as she reads each paragraph or sentence there's a flashback which shows what actually happened. However, I'm thinking that might be messy, especially since I need to tell the whole life of this woman. What do you think? [/size]

[size=1]I'm currently writing a fanfiction for the Harry Potter fandom, and I've run into some difficulty. In my story, there's a 'past lives' type deal. Now, I was going to have my main character read a book which actually gives the main event's in the past lives. However, I'm having trouble. My problem is, I'm not sure how I should have the book's genre. Should I write it as a type of journal? It would be easiest, but I despise doing it. Should I have it as a story? That would work quite well, but it would make it sound less real and more like a fairy tale. Perhaps as a biography? But I can't write biographies, and it wouldn't touch the reader in the emotional level I'm aiming for. You can see my dilemma. Does anyone have any advice, or idea as to which I should choose?[/size]

[size=1]We're almost all writer's here, and most of you have been writing for a while, if not a few years. My writing has improved greatly in the two years I've been writing creatively. My syntax is better, and my stories flow so smoothly these days, as opposed to some of my first works. As an example, here is some of my first writing endevour: [i]?Ohh,? she gave a theatrical shiver. ? I just love days like this. All the best gossip comes in on days like today. Do tell, Mena. What?s happening with Kathy Falcon and Tetia Montaro? Have they been on dangerous missions, or gone to different realms? Have they been assigned here? Come on, Mena, spill!.? Hell, Mena thought, I don?t want to tell them yet. I want to tell everyone at once. I will, she promised herself; I will wait to tell everyone. Mena had a problem with opposing peoples demands. But this time, she thought, this time I?ll get to tell them the best gossip. [/i] This next extract is from my latest piece: [i]Emily had stared at the ground. She didn?t understand the old feuds; But the part about family pride did needle at her conscience. She was proud of her roots ? who wouldn?t be? Nonetheless, she was friends with James McDonald. She wouldn?t, however, be friends with him for much longer. If her mother found out she was still friends with him, she?d take away Emily?s books. James was just like Emily ? he?d understand. He knew how precious Emily?s books were to her. But he also knew the folly of the family feuds. He was sombre and wise, something she assumed he?d picked up from his boarding school. [/i] To me, the difference -- and more importantly, the [b]improvement[/b] -- in my writing is really quite amazing to me. I never really noticed it, until I went back and read my old stuff. So tell me -- how far do you think you've come since your first creative exploits? If possible, quote some of your work for us, so we can judge the difference ourselves. Do you think you'll get much better, or see your style changing? Has your style changed with time, or is the essence still the same? So come on, don't be shy. This is a chance to boast about how much better you are![/size]

[size=1]Um...was there a point to this thread? I can't really find it, unless the second paragraph was part of your fanfiction? What fandom do you belong to? How many works have you published in the fandom? What characters, pairings or ships do you prefer? I suggest you edit and try to explain yourself better, otherwise this thread will be closed. Threads need a point, so please give us one; tell us to review, or ask us something.[/size]

[size=1]Rae hung limply over Liam's back, feeling completely insecure -- as if she was going to fall off him any minute. She experimentally tried to open her mouth, and found that she could this time, although she couldn't really feel it opening. She just knew it was open. "Liam," She slurred, "Put me down." Her voice was remarkably lazy, and she knew that she sounded bad. "Um, girlie...you can't even talk properly." "I don't care." She sounded like a pouty little child. "Let me walk." Her arms were still numb, and she wasn't even sure she had legs, but it was possible that she had regained some muscle control. "No." Liam hefted her higher on her back and continued running. Rae stopped speaking and thought for a while, then smiled a little bit, and let her legs swing with the momentum of Liam's gait. Liam cried out in surprise as one of her heels just [i]happened[/i] to come back hard and cork him in the thigh. He crumpled to the ground, and Rae rolled off him onto the ground. Liam stood up a second later, then looked down at her, shaking his head. "I'm going to walk, Liam." "You can't. You can't even get up. You're still numb from the injection." Damn him and his sadistic sense of humour. As if her rolling around on the ground was funny, anyway. "Yes I can....as soon as this tree allows me a handhold...ugh.." She groaned as she tried to grab the tree, but her arm didn't move. She felt like a fish, flailing about on land. "Or as soon as your chin becomes strong enough to lift you off the ground?" His voice was dry, sarcastic. "You know, Liam, you don't really have to come back to camp safely." Her voice didn't come out as vicious as she'd have liked -- due in part to the fact that she couldn't really pronounce the 'r' 's' or 'f' sounds yet. "But then, my dear Jehane," he grinned, "you wouldn't be able to get back to camp." She snarled at him, and let him pick her up -- not that she had much of a choice. "When I can move, I will slap you. I promise." "Sure you will." He didn't speak again, just leaving Rae to stew. They reached the camp about an hour later, judging by the way the sun moved. She'd regained most of the feeling in her legs, so she should be able to support herself. Rae grinned, then dug her teeth into the muscles in Liam's shoulder -- payback for his immense arrogance. Liam retaliated simply -- he dropped her. And Rae found out that she still didn't have the use of her legs.[/size]

[size=1]I'm not sure -- I'm asking a question, really -- but I think that traditionally it isn't [i]just[/i] the surname that the wife adopts. I mean, say Miss Cherry Prancier married Mr Christopher Trilan. Traditionally [and possibly still today] she become [i]Mrs.[/i] Christopher Trilan. So...she'd have adopted [i]both[/i] his names, wouldn't she? Perhaps I'm wrong, but I thought that's where the surname thing entered into it...[/size]

[size=1]Rae sat in an uncomfortable dirty metal chair, not that she could [i]feel[/i] it was uncomfortable. The bounty hunter with the rifle and the Irish accent had injected a fucking muscle relaxant into her. Her arms, legs and mouth were numb. He removed her camouflaged shirt and inspected the wound on her shoulder between the base of her neck and her Singlet strap. "Yeah, it's all right." He called to his counterpart in the other side of the fort, "I told you I was a crack shot. Nice and simple, nicked the flesh and a nerve cluster, instant knockout. She'll be fine, it'll heal over in a couple weeks." The other bounty hunter -- they'd been very definite about not revealing their names -- poked his head around the door and looked Rae up and down. "My, my, Jehane has grown up since we last saw her." He grinned, his tone appreciative. Rae could have happily murdered him for that look. "What a lucky coincidence that you passed through our little domain, and that bounty of ours is still active." He stood up and stretched. "What's his name...oh, I can't remember, anyhow, he's very interested in you. Wants you alive and everything." "It was Blair." Rae knew exactly who Blair was. He was one of the honchos behind Pizaro, Jenna, and Nicholas -- the Baudez clan. "What?" "That was his name; Blair. He was the puppet master behind Pizaro Baudez." "Ah...right. He's still knocking around at one of the old Baudez places, one where Interpol can't get to him. Probably still wants a Baudez in charge of the estate." The other bounty hunter, with a strong Oxford English accent, winked conspiratorially. "Unless of course he wants a little action. From what I heard on the underground, Baudez had promised Jehane to him when she turned twenty." Rae's eyes darkened; if it were possible, they were colder now. "That's Jehane alright." The Irish one said. "I've never known anyone else to give you such a look. Kind of sets a chill down your spine doesn't it?" They laughed -- almost nervously -- and Rae retreated into her subconscious. [I] Who are they? Blair? What? Promised to him? I should've known Jenna would come back to bite me in the ass. And since when were bounty hunters so benevolent? Well, apart from the shooting me in the shoulder thing...and where the hell is Matt? [/I] "That guy with the P-90 managed to get some shots off at you, though." The Irishman whistled in appreciation. "Yeah, good thing I ducked. But he didn't duck my shot." He gave a chuckle. "I had the scope right between his eyes, underneath his helmet." He paused, thinking how he inadvertently moved the barrel slightly before the shot. "But I saw him go down, blood and everything. I tell you, Jehane needs to hire better mercenaries next time she goes off forging new territory. As soon as they saw her and that guy go down, and her 'vanish,' they shot off into the jungle." "Yeah. Though it's pretty much a given that even I'd desert this little ice queen, no matter the cash she was paying me." A flash of pride sent itself through her. When she was younger, she'd spent hours schooling her expression into one of disdain, and now she used the expression almost unconsciously. It was easier for her when people tried to do things -- and the 'ice queen' face made them want to. "I'd second that." The Englishman turned to leave. "Hey," he said, "want some noodles? I managed to get that bloody stove working." "Sure, whatever, anything's better than the tinned crap we've got." The Englishman laughed and added as an afterthought, "check out her ribs too, I think I might've broken one when I pulled her down into the tunnel." "To think, no eyes noticed the tunnel. Well, there were some eyes, but they were dead ones." "Stop being poetic and check them out. She's supposed to be delivered in mint condition, remember?" "All right, all right." The Irishman grabbed a med-kit, looking suspiciously as though it belonged to someone else, and pulled some rolled bandages out. He looked back over his shoulder. "A twenty says she hasn't got anything on underneath the Singlet." The call came back; "deal. My twenty says that she has got something on, but an extra five says she won't have it on much longer if she does." The Irishman looked back into Rae's cold eyes, her previous assessment of the men's character out the window now. "Sorry love, a bet's a bet. Besides, it'll be an exciting new experience to be actually touched by a man for once." He gave a small chuckle and began rolling up the Singlet.[/size]

[size=1]Rae watched Eve with curiosity. Sure, Liam was slightly intimidating -- in that completely-harmless-but-manic-trigger-happy-teenager sort of way -- but even [i]she[/i] hadn't reacted that violently to him. And she'd had access to [i]all[i] his files, including the one where he killed a man with a kebab stick up the nostril to the brain... She'd been so disgusted when she'd first heard that, she'd classified him as insane. But she'd never had such a fearful reaction to him. From the first she'd given him shit and he -- having rarely been in that situation -- had reacted by giving it back. Rae studied Eve, then smiled at her and walked over to Liam. "Are you okay?" "What?" Liam asked, seeming to be rather put off by the girl's reaction to him. Rae nodded to the girl and tilted her head. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Rae smirked. He wasn't used to his reputation anymore. That had to be a step in the right direction. Matt checked his watch, then rolled his shoulders. To Rae, she knew that meant they were ready to start. It apparently meant the same thing to the rest of them, because they all quietened down. "Right." Matt said. "I'd like silence from now on. We don't know what's here -- this is enemy terrain, after all."[/size]

[size=1]Her eyes lit up as she looked through the plane's small window. She turned to Liam and Bailey, grinning. "Look how far up we are." Bradley winced, eyes closed tightly as she went on. "I mean, think about it. As soon as we jump from there, we'll either make it safely or plummet to our deaths. We'll be freefalling, and then we'll slowly make our way down." She sighed, eyes going dreamy. Liam interrupted her reverie. "Our precious Rae -- if you cannot tell -- is an adrenaline junkie. One sniff of anything dangerous and she'll embrace it as quickly as she does Callum." Rae merely glared at him, sniffed, and turned to Bailey. "You wanna come check the packs and get changed?" Bailey nodded and they walked towards the back room. Rae stuck her hand into one of the crates and pulled out her jumpsuit, then passed Bailey's hers. "So," Bailey said, nodding at Rae. "What's wrong?" "Nothing, really. Just wondering if you're okay. You don't seem like the type to zone out very often." Rae's eyes were serious, and, more importantly, concerned. Bailey sighed and mentally debated as to whether or not to tell her. She obviously decided to, for she took a deep breath. "I had a run in with an old family enemy." Rae's smile was lost. "You need help dealing with him?" She was serious, and she was deadly. Rae wasn't trained as an assassin, but she knew things about people that could do more than kill them. Rae knew all about family problems, and family enemies. She also knew the relief she felt when she -- or Liam -- got rid of them. Bailey shook her head, then nodded. "I'm not sure. Maybe. I'll wait until after the mission, though. We can't interrupt it." Rae still hesitated. "We have before." "No, it's okay." Rae zipped up her suit and checked herself over, making sure she had her ring and her anklet. They were identification tags, just in case...well...they all knew the dangers. She just took sensible precautions. Determined to steer the topic towards something less dire, Rae grinned impishly and asked, "So who's this guy my informants have said you were with the other night?" "How'd you find out?" Bailey asked, frowning. She threw her arm around Bailey's shoulders as they walked into the main area. "Darling, Aunty Raellyra makes it her business to find out." "In other vords," Katarina mutter, "[i]Auntie[/i] Raellyra iz a buzy body."[/size]

[size=1][b]This piece is part of a Harry Potter Fanfiction I'm writing. After writing this short scrap, I looked at it, decided it was no good -- it just doesn't work! --, and cut and pasted into my 'Discards' file, and then started over. The 'Discards' is a good file for me, because when I do that, it feels like I'm almost purging them from my mind, and I can always refer back to the good parts if I want them. Anyway, this scene is of Ginny, just after the diary incident, and she's been sent to St. Murgos to recover. Thing is, she's not.[/b] [center]_________[/center] [i]Dear Tom, I think I?m losing my memory. There are rooster feathers all over my robes and I don?t know how they got there.[/i] ?Ginny. Ginny, dear, wake up. You?re hallucinating again.? The matron shook the little girl again, silently tutting over the precious soul destroyed by Voldemort. She was so tiny, almost like a six year old. The child bolted upright, eyes searching with a manic fierceness for some invisible danger. When she found none, the pools of brown turned towards the Matron. The child sobbed once, and collapsed into the Matron?s arms, desperate for contact. The Matron sighed, hugging the child tight. ?What?s wrong?? ?He,? she gulped in between words, unable to communicate for lack of air. ?He was there. And I...someone was stalking me, and they were coming closer and closer, but it wasn?t...they weren?t...it was...me.? The matron hushed Ginny, and rocked her back and forth until she calmed. Ginny let out a whimper and closed her eyes, hands coming to rest on her forehead. ?Come now, Ginny, you?ve been here for six months. Don?t you think you should be getting better by now?? Silence. The matron sighed and didn?t pursue the matter. ?I?ll go get your food. Stay here. And stay awake, Ginny.? The girl nodded and leant against the wall, surveying the bare white room with apprehension. ?I know you?re there. Leave me alone. I?m a good girl. I did nothing wrong.? She whimpered, unable to tell the matron what was wrong. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices was a bad thing. But her dreams were becoming worse and worse. There was Thom ? always Tom ? and another girl. It was she, but not she. She was?different. Both were stalking her, ready to claim their prizes. [i]Didn?t you? What about your Chamber?[/i] ?Why are you doing this to me?? The girl huddled into the corner, the pace of her breathing beginning to rise. How is she able to talk to me? The her had never been able to speak before. Not when Ginny was conscious. It meant she was getting closer. Her, but not her. Ginny, but not Ginny. Virginia, perhaps. As if naming her stalker would make her feel better. [i]You ignored Tom?s cries for help. You drifted there. And now he?s dead because of you. It?s your fault![/i] ?I?m a good girl!? The cry sounded pitiful and weak, as if there were doubt in her mind. Of course, she was talking to people in her mind, so doubt was the least of her worries, she thought hysterically. [i]Dear Tom, I can?t remember what I did on the night of Hallowe?en, but a cat was attacked and I?ve got paint all down my front.[/i] The matron walked into the room, carrying a tray of porridge, lightly sprinkled with honey and sugar. She grinned as she expected Ginny?s reaction ? it was Ginny?s favorite meal. The Matron ? a portly woman known as Sister Shana ? was quite fond of the little girl. The child was harmless, despite protests from other Matrons. She was lost, alone, and scared. She needed support, love. Her condition shouldn?t even warrant staying at St. Mungos. But, none-the-less, here the girl was. Sister?s thoughts were interrupted as she surveyed the scene before her. The poor dear was once again huddling in a corner, holding her head and whimpering. She was staring with horror at some unseeable object, whispering a chant over and over. ?I?m a good girl. I?m a good girl.? [center]__________________[/center] [b]The next story was never going to be a story on it's own. I might slot it into one of my novel stories one day, but I was never goign to expand it. It was just a random piece of writing that I'd posted in my journal, a piece of writing that had never seen the light of Word. So, here it is.[/b] [center]__________________[/center] She was always a very private girl. It was hard for her to speak about anything that was personal. She was a deft problem-solver for others; she could tell them what they needed to hear, she could keep them at school, she could find that missing piece of information for the assignment that was due the next day. But they never touched a core inside of her -- the one that locked away all her problems, and made her solve her own problems. She was independent, really. Some days I loved her freedom, some days I didn't. I didn't know what she though; I only knew what she said. I only knew she was lying when she burst out laughing after a story and told me, 'And everything I just said then was complete bullshit!'. I never understood why she lied. She was so entertaining, without the lying. And there was no point to the lies. They were little; exaggerations, perhaps. I did ask her once. We were in bed, side by side, staring at the wall and saying nothing in particular. 'Why do you do it?' 'Do what?' 'Lie?' I could hear the smile in her voice. 'You know I don't talk about that stuff.' It was one of the days I hated that core. She was so very independent. She could shut anyone out. She had secrets, and I was aching to know them. 'Make an exception?' I pushed. I think she must have been surprised, because I never pushed. I was the perfect pushover boyfriend for her. I hadn't realised before now how easy it was to get her to talk, if she thought you wouldn't judge. Perhaps it had something to do with her mood. I still don't know why she told me. 'I'm a storyteller.' 'So?' Her voice was resigned, as if she didn't think anyone but herself could accept her thoughts. 'Well, different people entertain differently. Acting, singing, drama, melodrama, music. And I'm a storyteller. But, people don't want to hear stories. There are only so many stories a person can tell without others getting bored.' 'I don't understand.' 'Instead of telling stories, I exaggerate things to make people laugh. I like it when people laugh at my stories. Even if they're just stories.' There was sadness in her voice when she continued. 'I know you don't understand. No one ever does.' [/size]

[size=1]Wow, Mitch, that's so vile I didn't know you had it in you. It's...disgusting. My stomach was churning and my lip was curling in sympathy for the poor. Mitch, really, I thought that was...brilliant. I know I don't often review your poems, but I do usually read them, and I think I enjoyed reading this one more than usual. It makes a statement. Honestly, Mitch, I'm impressed. Really impressed. *shivers* The emotion you can drag from that poem was just...wow.[/size]

[size=1]Rae plucked the earphones from him. "Yes. You're the only one that ever cares." She listened to the music for a minute, then winced and stole Liam's earphones. "You shouldn't listen to this stuff. It'd destroy the only brain cells you've got left." Liam frowned. "And what's wrong with it?" She grinned at him and sat down on the seat in front. "I want it." She stowed it away in her backpack, grinning with devilment at Liam's spluttering. "So, anyway," Rae turned to Bailey, completely ignoring Liam's whining. "Callum and some of the techies are coming on the mission, in a non-field way. They'll set up base somewhere near us and take things from there." Liam's whining abruptly stopped. Seconds later, Rae heard the unmistakable blare of his music over the headphones. She checked her watch. "Thirty seconds. You're getting better." Liam made a squawk of indignation. Rae turned back to Bailey. "So tell me Bailey, do you want to talk this mission or would you rather me shut up?" Bailey raised an eyebrow. Rae shrugged and flicked her ponytail over her shoulder. "I have to ask, you see. There was an incident three years ago when Siren stuck Ryan's sock into my mouth." Bailey laughed, and Rae, encouraged by her audience, went on. "Not that I minded, of course. Ryan was a lovely man, after all. Where did Ryan go, Liam?" She looked over at Liam, eyebrow raised in questioning. Liam's eyes were closed, so Rae just shrugged. "I don't know." Rae lapsed into a sombre mood, brooding silently. Bailey poked her gently. "Want to talk about it?" "After a while," Rae started, talking slowly to get her thoughts into order, "all the people -- agents, friends, even family -- that you used to know just...leave you. Sometimes they disappear, sometimes they die. Sometimes they can't stand to look at you, knowing that you couldn't help their loved ones, and so they decide to leave. "And then...there are the others. The ones that just fade away. They bring all the happy memories with them. And you feel bad for it, but you're glad they're gone. Because you know that if they'd stayed, you'd have poisoned them." Rae shook her head, repressing the emotions, and suppressing the thought she'd had not long ago; [i]Sarcasm and trauma.[/i] She shook her head from side to side, then grinned, and tried to figure out a way to switch Liam's music with some J-pop she'd come across when he wasn't looking.[/size]

[size=1]Rae sat on Callum's bed, glad that he was still asleep. He hadn't had enough sleep lately, thanks mostly to the dramas and melodramas of last night. However...she needed him to wake up. She was going to leave soon, and she didn't know if Callum was coming with her or not. Rae smiled and held Callum's nose, confident that he at least would not shoot her in his sleep. She was right. He woke up suddenly, but he didn't reach for a gun from underneath his pillow. Callum's eyes flicked open and he stared blearily at her, then grinned and flopped his head back to the pillow, covering his eyes with his forearm. "Hey." "Hey." Callum grumbled and pulled her up to lie next to him. "You know, you could have woken me in a nicer way..." "Wait a mintue," Rae protested. "That was nice. Liam woke me this morning with a [i]gun[/i] for crying out loud! I'm pretty sure Bailey slept the night in the corridor -- with Liam as her only pillow -- Katarina and Malania went off somewhere, so they [i]didn't[/i] sleep, and Zharra and Bradley, well..." She grinned at him, eyes dancing. "If Zharra comes back in 9 months with a baby, we'll know whose it is." She moved back to her point, hugging Callum happily. "So don't you go complaining just because you got to sleep in and were woken up in a nice way." "Well, put like that..." Callum hugged her back, then lifted her off the bed. "Give me a couple of minutes, and we'll go get breakfast, okay?" "Sure," Rae smiled, then moved out to the corridor to wait. She did [i]not[/i] want to see a guy's morning routine. It was one of those things she wanted to keep a mystery. [b]OOC:[/b] Sorry about the size. It's 10 at night, and [i]I[/i] have school tomorrow, even if half of [i]you[/i] don't.[/size]

[size=1]At the moment, I'm the same age as you, and I can't say I don't know any girls who have seriously considered plastic surgery. However, I don't know anyone who has. At fifteen, you haven't fully developed. Some girls get their breats earlier than others, and some other girls develop later. You could still get bigger naturally. And if all else fails, you could always get pregnant! :p Don't get anything done yet. At least wait until your body is mature enough to cope with it. Take a few years, until you are absolutely positive that you want to go through with this.[/size]

[size=1]"I remember," She sighed. "I was trying to take the long route." Liam looked at her closely, trying to figure out the comment. "Why?" "Well, I haven't done any training in the past week, and I've eaten so much..." She groaned, "And now we're going out in the field. I'm going to get fat." A small grin flittered over Liam's face. This was one of those Catch 22 implied questions he'd heard about. He decided to treat it as rhetorical. "What guns are being supplied, do you know?" "Yeah, but..." She squealed as she reached the vending machines. "They have Orange! God, they haven't had it for ages. I love Orange!" Liam merely raised an eyebrow and pressed some coins into the slot. He pushed the button and the Orange soft drink popped out. "Sorry," Rae grinned. "But it's always been my favorite. Anyway, when do we leave?" "A couple of hours." "Did you know we're getting a 'tour guide?' I think they don't want us let loose again." "So...tell me about it." Rae mentally called up what she knew about it. "It's a female. I can't remember the last name. The first is Eve, I think. She's a rookie -- in our terms, at least -- she's only 17. She's had a year's training, and she hasn't been on a mission before." Rae sighed, then gave Liam an impish grin. "Wanna catch some breakfast? Then I think I might go give Callum a wake up call." [b]OOC:[/b]Edit -- Gah, can't expand. Sorry.[/size]

[size=1]There's also the factor that the Poetry and Fanfiction Lounge is slow enough as it is. Seperating it into two would only make each more stagnant. And it's my expirience that fanfiction actually gets more replies than poetry, because people relate to the characters. Sometime the fanfiction is really bad, but people will usually find something good in it to focus on. However, many people get fed up with poetry because there are so many threads there. The people who write the poetry don't post in the poetry of the day thread because they get no feedback from it. So my advice is don't worry about it. If you see a fanfiction that you like, review. The same goes for any other piece of work. The writer greatly appreciates it.[/size]

[size=1]She stood staring in the direction Liam had left, then turned and made her way back down the hall. She was shivering, and cold. Rae turned down the corridor that would lead her to Callum, needing some sort of human contact. Matt got to her first, taking her aside. 'Rae, you were the one who found Adam's program, weren't you?' Rae nodded, resisting the urge to slip into her brother's arms for a nice big hug; this was business, not home. 'Yeah, I was. I shot down the computer though.' 'Do you have Adam's passwords?' Again, she nodded. 'I always have. And I have his master overwrite code -- he never knew I had that. I'd need a techie, but I think he had it separated into two accounts, his public account and his private account. Sort of like in a web page. There's the public account, but then there's a level for anything you don't want anyone to be able to see. Why?' 'I just want a look. I need to see a few things about certain missions. The Commander's ordered me to check it out. But I think we'll need Callum as well. Let me get him.' Rae waited while Matt continued down the hall to Callum's room, then returned with Callum trailing behind, slightly bleary. Well, that was reasonable. It [i]was[/i] somewhere near 6am. She smiled at him weakly, and his eyes darkened in concern. Rae shrugged and turned to follow Matt. 'Where are we working?' 'In a specialized room. No one can come in or go out without my permission, which -- apart from you guys -- they won't get. There'll be one computer and three chairs waiting.' Rae stared for a while, trying to figure out her brother. It was Callum who did. 'This is really important, isn't it?' Matt dry-washed his face, then scrunched up his nose. 'Yeah. It is.' They reached the room, and Matt punched in a security code, followed by an eye scan. They continued on, and just as predicted, there were three chairs, a desk, and a single computer in the room. The rest of the room was completely empty. There were no windows, one door. The ceiling was perfectly smooth, and the entire room was white. It was almost as if the room had been...'Sound proofed,' Rae breathed. 'Yeah,' Matt nodded. 'We're up in one of the higher levels, but this was originally made as a safe room in case SYF was attacked. Now we don't bother -- it wouldn't work anyway. All they'd need to do was plant a bomb underneath us and we'd all be dead.' 'What a comforting thought,' Callum remarked dryly, in such a Liam-esque tone that Rae stared at him in surprise. Matt grinned at Callum. 'Yeah, well. I thought it was interesting. Anyway.' He held out the middle chair for Rae -- the one right in front of the computer. 'Rae, deary, I need you to log us in and show us exactly what you did.' Rae moved to the computer. 'As you guys should know, we all have accounts on this system. However, anyone who is a case manager has fool-proof accounts; no one can access them but the case manager and The Commander. Password only, I believe.' She looked at the men for confirmation. They both nodded. 'Well, I think Adam did something to his account -- you'd have to fiddle a bit and check it, Callum -- where he had a public account, that the Commander could access, and a private account, that only he, with his master code, could access.' 'When you mentioned Adam being an arrogant bastard, and probably having everything on the computer, something clicked. I mean, I've always had the overwrite code, I just never really knew what it was for.' Rae typed in Adam's username, then moved to his password field. 'I've checked Adam's public files a few times, but nothing was there.' 'Anyway...' Rae typed in the master overwrite in the password field -- [i]pinecone[/i] -- and hit enter. 'Misson: Pinecone was Jess and Liam's first mission ever. It was named that because of Major Pine, the Commanding Officer at the time.' Rae sat back in her chair, smiling slightly. 'Do you guys want it now?' Matt looked at Callum, then shook his head. 'No, show me what made you think he had double levels.' 'Oh. Well, see, when you use the overwrite password, you get a folder called public in here. When you go into it,' She demonstrated, 'it's all the files you see with his normal password. To get back to where you were, you have to type in the overwrite again. Anyway, there are all these other files that I'd never seen before. And, of course, the file labelled, 'Hamlet' was obviously something about betrayals. Adam's mind always worked like that.' 'Thanks Rae. We'll take over from her. But stay in the room, okay? I might need you to help us with something.' Callum stood at the same time as Rae, and gave her another peck on the cheek. When she moved over to the wall to sit down, he took her seat and started typing rapidly. Rae started to doze, eyes closing slowly, trying not to fall asleep fully. Matt and Callum's voices droned in the background of her mind, and she let her head droop against the wall. Suddenly, Matt's voice cried out in shock. [i]'Shit!'[/i] Rae jerked upright, eyes flying open. 'What?' Callum, too, was looking worried. 'The program Adam used to send the e-mails to the Director and the Commander...' Rae ran a hand through her hair. She knew all about those. 'What about it?' 'It's wired to send to three people, not two.' 'Who's the third person?' Callum typed in a few keys, then hit enter. 'One 'Michael Prikrie.' Do you know who he was?' 'Yeah, he was head of security. He was there to make sure there were no leaks. He created the major fabrications, the lies that went to the media or to the papers and such. He was discharged about a year and a half, maybe two years ago, for selling classified SYF information.' '[i]Shit[/i],' Matt swore. 'What? What is it?' 'It went to his private account, not the SYF one. Chances are, Michael Prikrie knows all about Liam and Jess. He has one more chance to sell SYF information.' Rae put her head on her knees. This was all they needed. [center]____________[/center] [i]He had one more chance to make some money out of the SYF bastards.[/i] Michael Prikrie picked up the phone and dialled the number on the card. 'Hi.' He said to the person on the other end. 'This is Michael Prikrie.' He waited for the acknowledgement, then continued. 'You said to call if I had any information for you involving Liam Cameron.' Again he waited, then continued. 'Well, I have something that will blow you away.'[/size]

[size=1]Rae stared at it as if it were the devil. 'Burn it. Destroy it. Make sure no one ever sees it again.' She whispered. 'And if you ever look at them...' 'You'll kill me?' Something -- possibly humour -- tinged Zharra's voice. She pocketed the disk. Rae's lip trembled. 'Yes. No. Maybe.' She rubbed her face. 'I can't deal with this yet.' She muttered to herself. The day to day human interaction was far too involved for her to handle in her current state. Besides, she needed to find Liam. He had to know, and soon. These things had a habit of getting out, even if no one said anything. They always did. She dry-washed her face and closed her eyes, noticing that the clock on the wall said it was 1am. She left for the mission in a few hours. Oh, boy, was she going to [i]love[/i] Columbia. Perhaps she could find some dank, dark, out of the way place to go -- maybe Pizaro's mansion. [i]If I were Liam[/i], she thought, painfully injecting some humour into her situation, [i]where would I be at this time of night? The drink dispenser.[/i] She started off in that direction, her teeth worrying at her lip.[/size]

[size=1] Rae stood for a second, and then said 'No, you don't.' She shot a look at Zharra, then winced. She was pale, shaking, and not a single thought could manifest itself except that if Zharra really did know, then she would kill her here and now. But Zharra didn't. She wasn't that inhumane. 'You know,' Rae said, voice hinting anger and tears, 'sometimes you think you know everything, but you really, really don't.' Rae stalked off, totally bewildered, then decided to return to the Commander. She returned to the Red Cap, who nodded respectfully, and Rae paused for a minute to give express instructions that [i]no one[/i], Zharra, Liam, and the rest of the team included, was to pass into the room. Through windows, doors, ceilings or air vents. Perhaps it was an overreaction, but Rae knew exactly what she'd stumbled across, and so did the Commander. Zharra thought she did, but she truthfully had no clue. She wouldn't have had the access, in the first place. No one had entered Adam's system since the mission three years ago, and Rae had had to separate the computer from the rest of the system's; in case Adam had planted a bug or a virus in there. The Commander smiled at her, and Rae -- in her sick-at-heart rage -- could have happily killed him without a moment's hesitation. How could he smile? This would destroy Liam. Destroy him. 'Look, I'm sorry for having to put you through that pretence, but it was for Liam's sake. He needs to know first.' Rae's emotions were already freezing up, becoming brittle. She could feel cynicism welling inside of her. 'But he wasn't the first to know, though, was he?' The Commander's eyes narrowed. 'If you're implying that I knew all along, you'd be completely wrong. The only reason I know now is because there was a program automatically installed to send a message to me, detailing [i]exactly[/i] what [i]really[/i] happened. Rae's smile was nothing more that a bearing of teeth. 'Go on. Say it. Tell me [i]exactly[/i] what [i]really[/i] happened.' The Commander sighed. 'Adam Stanton --' 'My brother.' Her voice was vicious. 'Your brother. Set up Jess, along with all the resistance fighters that she was sent to train. Gradually, bit by bit, it seems, he informed her of the alarming trend Liam's actions had taken.' He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. 'Some of which was true. The [i]lie[/i] was that he told her that Liam had switched, and was coming to get her, to wipe out the SYF one by one. 'At the same time Liam fed the same information, except that Jess was the enemy...as both of their case handlers, he had the ability to do so without anyone's knowledge.' His countenance darkened. 'It appears we now know the full extent of his treachery.' 'So what you're saying is,' Rae pushed, determined to try to purge the information from her soul, 'Liam killed Jess, who was completely innocent.' The Commander's jaw clenched. 'Yes. That's what I'm saying.' Rae gave a malicious -- albeit slightly hysterical -- laugh. 'So, when do you tell him the good news?' The Commander shook his head. 'I don't.' 'Rae, you know, I now know. No one else does. I'm leaving it up to you whether or not to tell him.' 'It's your choice Rae. You can withhold it, and no-one will ever know. Or, you can tell him.' She stared at him for a second. 'What? Live my entire life knowing what he didn't? Or living out my days knowing that he killed his sister, when she was innocent? Either way, I get stuck with the knowledge.' Her face was pale and drawn, eyes holding a haunted and hunted look. 'You want me to tell Liam that my brother made him kill his sister, don't you?' His face remained even. 'It's your choice.' Her lip curled in disgust. 'I hate you.' She spat.[/size]

[size=1]Rae smiled at Callum, the youth back in her face, in a way that hadn't been there for years. 'My brother, Adam, was an arrogant bastard, but a brilliant manipulator. He had a wonderful mind. One of the best programmers I've known.' Matt sighed. 'He [i]was[/i] an arrogant bastard. He'd probably record everything in his computer files, never believing himself to be caught.' There was silence for a few minutes, then Callum said, 'Speaking of getting caught...' and lapsed into a story of when he'd first gotten his license. The conversation around the table was marvellous. Natural. To her it was a bright spark in a heck of a life. Of course, this spark was dimmed by a certain person: Liam. He was acting like a spoiled little brat deprived of his favourite toy. But she'd [i]given[/i] him his favourite toy. It had taken her around two hours to organise everything, and he hadn't even said thank you! Rae yawned and rubbed her eyes, smiling at Matt across the table. Liam was sitting next to him, Callum next to her. The dinner had been marvellous. Matt grinned as she yawned again. 'Perhaps it's time for the baby of the group to go to bed. Besides, we're going tomorrow, so she'll need some sleep anyway.' She nodded and said her goodbyes to Matt, hugging him and thanking him for the dinner. They clamoured into the car, Liam still not having said anything besides the necessary. [center]___________[/center] Rae waved to Liam, and then walked along the hallway to Callum's door. Her fake smile dropped from her face as soon as Liam was out of sight. 'Sorry about that. Him, I mean. I don't know what's gotten into him. He's so...' She didn't bother trying to explain anymore. Callum seemed to know exactly what she meant. He smiled at her with understanding. 'He's jealous, Rae. Don't worry about it.' He gestured towards his room, indicating the kitchen and bench. Rae thought idly that the techies were certainly better provided for then the field agents. 'Do you want to come in?' She smiled and started to accept, then remembered the thought that had occurred to her during the dinner. 'I'd love to, but I can't. I have some research to do.' He seemed slightly disappointed, but grinned a second later. 'Okay. Some other time. Just make sure you sleep, okay?' He gave her another peck on the cheek, then walked inside his room and winked. 'See you later, Rae.' He closed the door. Rae stood for a second, frustrated with herself. She should have accepted his invitation. She [i]would[/i] have, if it weren't for the hunch that the remark Matt had made wasn't far off the mark. She slipped into the computer room, noticing that in the dark, there was some odd flashes of light. Someone was on the computers. Probably playing a game, considering the lack of light and the flashes. The pictures were moving quite fast. She walked around to the origin of the light, finding Liam hunched over and playing Unreal Tournament. She stood for a second, then said, 'I won't interrupt your important business.' Her voice was tinged with humour, but she switched on the lights and moved to the computer next to him. She pulled up Adam's account, overriding the password with the global 'word of command'. She sifted through the files slowly, until she reached the case files labelled LC and JC, then pulled them up. She read for a second, then an involuntary gasp ripped through the silence. She hit the escape button. Once. Twice. Nothing happened. She tried the exit button. Zip. 'What's the matter?' Liam asked as he wandered over. He recoiled when Rae pulled out her gun and shot the computer to hell. 'The...the...I'm supposed to do that!' The door clicked open and the lights went on. There was a military police officer, a red cap, and he stood on the threshold. Liam watched in mock horror as Rae slowly rose and went with him. Liam motioned to go, but another Red Cap stood in his way and said; 'Sorry son. Commanders orders. You are to stay here until the Commander gets here. His word only.' Rae left, seemingly using the arm of the red cap as a support. Liam frowned as she left, then turned around, drew his Desert Eagle, and shot the nearest computer, then waited. Nothing. How come [i]he[/i] got no escort???[/size]

[size=1]She sighed in frustration, shooting an annoyed glance at Liam. "It won't take me that long, you know. I could have done it later." He didn't appear to have listened to a thing she had said. Rather, he didn't deign to acknowledge anything she said. She was walking a couple of paces behind Liam. If she looked behind her when they went around this corner, she could just catch a glimpse of...She grinned as she saw Callum. He was walking away from her, sure, but the view from the back was as nice as the front. Liam, however, had noticed. A smirk played about his lips, even as they formed a slight pout. Rae ignored him, preferring to hug the contented feeling to herself tightly, not willing to let it slip away yet. She missed this. Being a real teenager. Having a boyfriend -- having a normal relationship with someone. Rae sighed and dry-washed her face, trying to bring her mind back to the topic: Liam's precious MS1. [center]______________[/center] Her fingers flew over the keyboard, and she never hesitated in her inquiries. She hit the enter key once, then leaned back in her chair, incredibly satisfied with herself. "Done," she smiled. Liam, who'd been hovering behind her the entire time, snapped to attention. "You have my baby?" She ran a hand through her hair, eyes closing painfully. She probably needed to sleep, but she'd rather not. How long had she been at the computer? The computer clock told her she'd been there for an hour and a half. She rolled her neck, hearing the vertebra click into place. "No, I now know exactly where it is. You were right. It is under glass, although not the kind you'd like. It's in the security compound -- in the weapons part of the floor we kept Pizaro on. To get it out, you'll need three signatures -- the Commander, The director, and, of course, Matt. Matt'll give it to you, and I can speed it up so that the first thing the Commander and the Director look at will be the application. "Of course, then you'll need the clearance, which would mean another hour or two." Liam just nodded, eyes glazed with longing. "Ahuh. So...when do I get my baby?" "Well, with high security shipping, the time it'll take for it to go through the --" She coughed -- "'Right' channels, and the set back of you having to actually [i]get[/i] the clearance..." She checked everything again, knowing Liam would complain if 'his baby' took any longer than she predicted. "It should be delivered to Matt sometime during dinner." Liam let out a sound, which at its manliest best could only be described as a high-pitched squeak of excitement. Rae smiled at him tiredly, and then patted him on his shoulder. "Never let it be said that I neglect you." He was incredibly solemn. "Of course not." She squinted at him. "You do realise that you owe me?" His disappointed face showed that he'd already thought of that, and had, in fact, been trying to weasel out of the debt.[/size]

[size=1]Rae checked the clock in her room, then started down the hallway. She'd heard Zharra's comment about needing translators for the files and was eager to volunteer. Computers were never reliable, and they shouldn't trust anyone on the outside to translate it. Besides, Rae was fluent in three languages, and knew enough to get by on for most others. She saw Zharra and Liam standing in the hallway -- Liam looking somewhat awkward -- and walked up to them. "Hey guys. Liam, I think Matt was going to change the date for the dinner. Want to come and track him down with me? I have to talk to him anyway." He nodded and followed with her. They walked in silence for a while. Rae passed a group of guys and smiled at them, waving to a few. Liam didn't seem to like being reminded that she had friends other than him. "Who...?" "Well, the one with blonde hair, blue eyes and the pretty boy face is Christopher Munroe. You'd remember his sister -- Elyssa. She turned up beaten and tortured -- and dead -- at the beginning of the other mission." She didn't need to say anymore. She could tell by the blanch on his face that he remembered. "Callum -- Matt's friend -- was there too. And so were some of his friends. I've met them a couple of times, but I can't remember their names." Liam raised a sceptic eyebrow. "[i]You[/i] can't remember? Liar." Rae grinned. "Yeah, okay. I'm just too lazy to bother." They ran into Matt quite accidentally. It seemed he'd been looking for them, because he smiled and stopped to talk to them. "Hey Rae." His smile faded slightly when he took in their familiar comradery. "Liam." "You wanted to see us?" "Yeah. You know the dinner? We'll, I've gotten word that I might be doing something --" [i]His other mission,[/i] Rae thought, "-- so I was going to change it to tonight, if that's okay." "That's fine with me." She looked at Liam, who nodded. "Well, I suppose I'd better go tell Callum." She smiled happily -- her first real smile in a few days -- and jogged off, leaving Matt grinning and Liam frowning in her general direction.[/size]

[size=1][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Kyo no Ryu [/i] [B]I understand that plenty of you have SO MUCH FREAKIN HOMEWORK you have no time to takuboard. WHen you get back then all these new posts pop up like freakin crazy. YOU ARE LOST! So I would like to request something of the people who are on here more often. Especially RPGers. Please dont post to often. Even I should lay off. Unfortunate people like that dont even get to join RPGs! So just..like...take a chillpill. [/B][/QUOTE] Thing is, if people [i]don't[/i] post in the RPG, it [i]dies[/i]. When RPG's die, it isn't good. I mean, you can't request for people not to post. That's like saying "There are to many people on Otakuboards, so please leave!" If people have homework, then fine. But we aren't going to stop posting because they have homework. We all have work to do. If they're too lazy to read the latest posts, it's their problem.[/size]