Lady Asphyxia

[color=darkred][size=1]Personally [although I don't know much about cars] I like the older ones. My current personal favorite is an old Alfa Romeo [or however you spell it. Pshhh] Convertible. Someone told me that there isn't much power to it, but I don't care, really. Just as long as it's purdy...[/color][/size]

[color=darkred][size=1]*puts her hand up* I started, but I'm in the middle of exams. I should be able to post tonight [fingers crossed], but if I don't, tomorrow at the latest.[/color][/size]

[color=darkred][size=1]*huggles* Everyone has off times. And, while that might be a little simplistic, it's very true. You've had the grace to apologise, which is more than most people would do. I didn't see the things in your signature, so I don't know how bad they were. Like I said, everyone has off times, some worse than others. And apologising is [i]so[/i] hard to do, I admire your courage in doing so.[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=darkred]Heh. People like me. Not myself, but people like me. Funny how the people you're most like, are the ones that piss you off. o.O [/size][/color]

[img]http://www.members.aol.com/shadowedcloudx/strange[/img] [color=darkred]See, kids? That's what picking your nose does.[/color]

[size=1][color=darkred]I do have some pictures that express me as a person. They're all pretty normal; one is of my old house, another is me wearing a blue dress holding an apple. There's a third one of me, and it's just me sitting in a tree. That's what makes me think, [i]I'm me[/i]. However, as for self-expression, I'd say partly through my writing, and also through acting like someone else. My friends are another aspect of myself. I have these friends who are wierd, and slightly cooky. Then there are the friends who are considered 'losers'. There are the really confident ones, the ones who write, the ones who aren't confident, and ones who just fade into the background, and I can see parts of myself in them.[/color][/size]

[size=1]Okay, posting in here, mainly so I can keep track of the Rounds. Heh. [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23515]RPW V[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=22225]RPW IV[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=21237&highlight=Mnemolth]RPW III[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20188]RPW II[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19443]RPW I[/url] [/size]

[color=darkred]You mean *gasp* that names are supposed to make sense? Heh. Just post the names you can think of - preferably relevant ones. As for [i]how[/i] critical, it depends on the Author. Obviously, if they say - as Watinabe said - "Please go easy on me" then you need to respect their limits. And it isn't really polite to annihilate the writer if they don't want it to be. But by all means, if they say "I want to improve this; show me how, and criticise for all you're worth," [or something to that effect] then feel free. Yes, I have a gauntlet. No, you cannot have one. Only *ahem* [i]smart[/i] people are allowed gauntlets. ^.~ Thanky Circeus. That's what I think. I just hope that we can get this forum moving, in some way.[/color]

[color=darkred]Yes, sort of. People come up and talk to me a lot for some reason - it just happens sometimes. But the one I remember most is when I was in Tin Can Bay [has anyone even heard of that place?]and we were staying in a motel. Anyway, we went out for a swim in the pool, and we struck up a conversation with a guy called Colin. It was muchness full of fun, and so I'm glad I did.[/color]

[color=darkred]Heh. Like Harlequin said. However, at that point in time, I only knew The Unholy Newt and Liamc2. Liam told me about it, and looked in and searched around and decided I didn't like the place much, and then Dave prodded me into joining. ^_^ I'm happy he did, too. For a while, I lurked around and didn't post, but I joined in May/June/July last year [I forget], so my 'birthday' is coming up. [Okay, yes, I [i]was[/i] born on June 20, but I'm positive I didn't join then.] [i]Edit-[/i] Three days before my birthday. o.O I joined on Dave's birthday.[/color]

[color=darkred]Well, Watinabe, before we go and critique, we need more people to join. Mitch is right - we need to advertise, so that we can grow. And we need some sort of name to identify ourselves. Any suggestsions?[/color]

[size=1][color=darkred][list] [*][b]Morbid wails The Chimera stalks.[/b] This phrasing is really nice, with a good grasp of vocabulary and imagery [*][b]Mending the wall the vine mirrors on the leaflet Refractored the trepidated hoof halts.[/b] Sounds odd and is partly ambiguous [mainly because I think in simple terms and the language is partly formal]. [*] [b]The loneliest word you'll hear.[/b] Nice phrasing. I like the slight personification. [*][b]The breath of The Chimera so numbly cold.[/b] Sounds strange. How can breath be numbly cold? The adverb is in realtion to breath, and breath doesn't feel. [/list] Overall: You're a good poet, but sometimes it seems that, instead of using your words to draw people closer, you're trying to push them away by using longer words. It may just be that I have a bad vocabulary, but some of these words I have to look up, and it hinders the reader when you don't understand the words. I do like the way you incorporate the words, though. It makes it seem that you aren't trying to be all high and mighty [like some poets do], but rather that it just comes naturally. The flow of the poem was pretty - sad, slightly freaky, but nice and [yes] even sweet. Or maybe it's just me. Well done, Mishter Mitch.[/size][/color]

[size=1][color=darkred]Okay. I've been tossing around this idea for a while, but I'm still not sure if it's going to work. [So, in the end, if this thread needs to be deleted, fine.] Basically, I'm throwing down a gauntlet. This forum is pretty slow - in the last two day, there have been somewhere along the lines of 2 posts. In the Lounge, there have been 35 or so in one thread alone. This means that people who write; poems, stories, and essays aren't getting the support attention and critiquing they deserve. So, this is what I propose. Each week, you critique at least three pieces of work - preferably a story, a poem, and another work of your choice. [Of course, if there are no new pieces, you can't critique them.] Then, you post what you consider your best critique for the week in here [you'll have posted it in the threads, too, of course], and we can find examples of good critiquing - partly for people who want to learn how to critique, partly to improve the quality of posts in here [so that we can help writers], and also to improve our knowledge of critiquing, editing and supporting each other. If you need help figuring out how to critique well [without offending the writer] there are some really good tips [url=http://www.loony-archivist.com/ptcarchive/crit.html]here[/url] Well, good luck. Heh. I hope this works. *crosses fingers*[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=darkred]I know it's spring again when I can feel my feet... but it's Autumn here... -.-[/color][/size]

[color=darkred]The craft landed nicely, setting down softly. Adaline smiled and checked the craft's condition, noticing that one side seemed to be slightly lower than the other. Although, that could probably be explained by a slope. Adaline climbed out of the craft, knowing that it needed to be moved. It might look like a carriage, but none-the-less, if anyone tried to look inside, they'd find a spacecraft. A carriage rolled up beside hers, and a gentleman climbed out, clothed in fine - rich - clothes. That was when Adaline noticed something wrong. Weren't they supposed to be in Celtic - Medieval - times? The man walked up, and held out his hand. Doing the only thing she could do, Adaline let him take it, before quickly snatching it back. "Bradley," he whispered. "Part of the team." She gave a grimace of a smile, wrinkled her nose, and started walking. "What's wrong?" "Notice anything?" He was silent, looking around and assessing everything. "Not anything out of the ordinary..." "Except for the fact that these are all signs of the Feudal Age..." "Ah." Something had gone very, very wrong.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by The Harlequin [/i] [B][font=gothic][color=crimson]Or just become a complete bum.[/font][/color] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=darkred]Also my ambition in life. ^_^ Neo, you abolished tax? o.O How does that work?[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Transtic Nerve [/i] [B]People who blame music, TV, moveis, and video games for the ciorruption of children are just using those as scapegoats for their own doing which is the real thing corrupting their children. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=darkred]Heh. I agree. [i]"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if pacman affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music. "[/i] -Roman Diaz I think that trying to use things as scapegoats is just stupid, and that people who restrict fantasy things as a sin or because of religious beliefs [my friend's mother wouldn't let them read "Harry Potter", because it was of Witches and Wizards] don't really understand that Fantasies can't harm people until it's acted on. BUt that's just my opinion.[/color]

[color=darkred]A [i]very[/i] short little scene that has been floating through my mind. Probably trite, most likely badly done, but I needed to get it out of my mind and figured that you guys can, I don't know, something with it. Maybe criticise it. ~~~ [size=1]He looked at the pouring rain with misery, feeling the steady [i]drip, drip[/i] of water falling off the brim of his Akubra. His mates were standing next to him, as equally soaked as he. "This rain," he sighed, staring down at the ground - now a muddy mess only fit to be squelched in. "I swear, the only reason I shower anymore is so that the hot water'll put the feeling back in my feet..." There was a loud [i]kathunk![/i] and the high-pitched shrieking of a female, who was obviously distraught over something. A yell split the air. "Ryan Dunthrop, you get one more speck of mud in my house, and you can live with those damn pigs!" "Well," Ryan corrected. "That and the missus." [/size][/color]

[color=darkred]Okay, first of all, Solitaire, you are a dickhead. I'm sorry, but that is so insensitive, and I am so angry at you after reading that message. For goodness sake, this is a thread about his friend who is pregnant, and saying "Good job ****ing up your life." is [i]not[/i] helpful. D*Star. To help your friend, I suggest knowing all you can about pregnancy. It's a scary thing, and knowing, or at least knowing about what she's going through is a big help. She can't be showing yet. At two months, the baby is around 5 cms big. People don't start to show until 4 or 5 months. I'd say she coudl probably continue at school until 3 months or so along. That way, she can form a support system. Support is a big thing. Try to do something to make her feel special, and show her that it doesn't change the way you feel about her. Perhaps you could organise something like a baby book, a box to fill with treasures, a picture book of you guys together, or something equally special. Reassurance is always good. Hope I could help.[/color]

[color=darkred]You guys do know that since Mnemmy has to, you know, come up with objectives so that they're relevant to the winning post, it takes about a week?[/color]

[color=darkred]Leila knew that someone was using magic to transport her and her kind. It was Shade magic; human magic was different traces in it. The world slowed and every movement seemed to go at double the speed. It was seconds later that she arrived at the meeting point. There were others there, some looking rather disorientated. She suspected they hadn't been called before, and had just come from the gate. Ikturu was there, shooting murderous glances at Kenratu. Leila stood for a moment, watching him, before mentally dismissing him. She walked over to Kenratu, feeling - as she sometimes did - like an intruder into the world of he and his friends. [b]Leila -[/b] Why are we here?[/color]

[color=darkred]Imagery. Lots and lots of imagery. Just be careful that it doesn't turn into 'Purple Prose'. [Flowery language that tends to confuse the reader] I like complexity of some sentences, and I dislike it in others. [Does that make sense?] Some sentences you need cut short. Some sentences you have cut short, and it's worked really well, and given emphasis. [[i]Flames light up an entire block. [/i]] All around, well done.[/color]

[color=darkred]Well, I had a lot of trouble reading this, mainly because of distractions. There's a link between [i]"War Time Dream"[/i] and [i]"Roached Death Doped Mosquito Blind/Mad War Rhetoric"[/i], with the 'doped and blind'. Did one poem spark the idea for another? [b]The Beginning:[/b] You started well. There is a nice rhythm to it, and a slight repeditiveness [throughout the whole poem] which shows a nice control of language and knowledge of where you should emphasise things. [b]The Middle:[/b]Lost it a bit here. The rhythm became vague, but otherwise it was nice. I liked it. [b]The End:[/b] Heh. The rhythm came back near the end, and give it a very final finish. I really like the last stanza. Ah, yes, I am lazy, and this wasn't much. Sorry. However, I want to set you a challenge. Write a poem - I don't care what type - using two similies, at least one metaphor, and a triplet.[/color]

[COLOR=darkred]There were mages about. She'd heard through the other Shades that there was, for an unknown reason, a reoccurrence in mages. It seemed that their terror was causing an Awakening of their powers. It was a problem Leila had thought overcome many years ago, and one that caused the vague stirrings of unease in her belly to become rather sharp. They were vulnerable enough as it was, and these?events had just confirmed her fears. The explosion, however, had strengthened her resolve. They would get the numbers, and they would slaughter the humans. Leila wandered, unsure as to where to go. She knew they were attacking; she could hear the devastation on the wind. There were bound to be problems, but they could deal with that. As it stood now, her father and his trusted allies could take care of the problems. She sat down on the ground, pulling out the dolly she?d taken from the little girl, and started playing with it.[/COLOR]

[color=darkred]But what about [i]The Last Continent[/i], [i]Lords And Ladies[/i], and all the other novels? There are over 29 [Or thereabouts] Discworld books published. I myself don't think that it's in any very set type of series.[/color]